Chapter 18 color blindness.4

In the evening, the sky was covered with dense clouds, and lightning pierced through the haze of the sky like a poisonous snake sticking out its tongue.Lin Baishuang was sitting under an elm tree on the edge of the Bund Park.Before his eyes, spread the turbid waves of Huangpu; above his head, the leaves were rustling like ghosts crawling; in his heart, there was an unknown feeling boiling. He has been sitting like this for at least half an hour; but for him at this moment, half an hour is only an instant.From the small twists and turns encountered in one day today, he thought of the changes in human history in the past thousands of years, and thought of the changes that will probably occur in the next few decades.He was disappointed, and he saw the gleam of hope shining in front of him again.

"This side is probably desperate. Although she has breathed the modern trend of thought and has a somewhat rebellious spirit, she still uses the ancient old method-not to marry when things are urgent. Obviously there is a way out there, but Afraid of getting out of the cruel cage but falling into the filthy market, she was afraid that the one she was looking for would still be dishonest, and her senseless arrogance refused to make the results of her struggle and resistance come back and be ridiculed. As a result, only those who remain motionless will not marry for life! " Thinking of this, Lin Baishuang suddenly felt that Zhao Yunqiu was hateful; hating her for not thinking thoroughly, hating her for being too arrogant, hating her for being too considerate, hating her for treating men in the world as bad guys, hating her for being too turbulent. Created a negative character of suspicion and fear.

However, in addition to hatred, it seems to be mixed with some other emotions.As if he had fallen into a deep black pit, he felt a putrid suffocation-like stupor.His heart just sank more and more heavily.He hoped that he would be buried alive in the ground by a catastrophe. Suddenly, a gust of wind blew out a solemn and stirring sound, and the lightning fell down like a big canopy, illuminating everywhere brightly; followed by loud thunder.The thick raindrops hit the leaves of the trees, and the number of them could be counted.Lin Baishuang didn't move, he just opened his eyes wide and glanced around.The nameless wistfulness fled, and a new spirit stirred in his veins.

"Leave this side aside and work hard on the other side! This is a natural choice!" He thought furiously; so many good terms that can refresh his mind, such as lively, bold, optimistic, and resolute, came up at the same time.The sound of the rain on the trees is getting denser now, and Lin Baishuang's meditation machine is running at full speed.He promised himself all hope, all joy, all happiness.However, Koehler—his meditation, which was going too fast, suddenly hit the rocks.A trifle incident when he broke up with Li Huifang after lunch today rubbed into his optimistic eyes and made him suddenly feel that his future was hazy again.Li Huifang's elusive words sounded harshly again:

"This is my reward for being a middleman!" This sentence was spit out from Li Huifang's smiling lips when Lin Baishuang handed Li Huifang the reply letter written in the morning but not mailed and paid the car fare, so Lin Baishuang didn't quite understand whether it meant the reply letter or the car. Fei; he just felt that this sentence was like a trench separating him from Li Huifang.Originally, he wanted to ask her to go shopping elsewhere, but he shrank because of this. He wandered around the street alone, and then walked to the Bund Park; Escape from the lively fountain to this secluded elm tree.

Now he felt sadly hopeless on both sides.Although his ideal "green island" once emerged from the black waves, one has been sunk by the strong wind, and the other is like the "Three God Mountains on the Sea", which is only within reach. The rain, I don't know when it stopped; the lightning still shines, but it is very gentle, like a smile.In these intermittent glances like the lights of the sea exploration, Lin Baishuang's bewildered eyes presented a long sky that gradually turned light blue and a few small boats bobbing on the waves.In the music booth over there, the march was played again.The trumpet blew loud and clear notes, one by one, hitting Lin Baishuang's eardrums.The charm of this beautiful environment gradually ossified Lin Baishuang into a state of no emotions and feelings.He instinctively received all the impressions that met his eyes and ears.He has become a machine of seeing and a machine of hearing.

A pair of Western men and women turned around from behind the elm tree arm in arm.Probably not being wary of someone squatting on the tree root, the woman suddenly screamed and took a step back.But when they realized that it was only a yellow-skinned young man, the pair looked at each other and smiled, glanced at Lin Baishuang contemptuously, and went away gracefully.Lin Baishuang woke up from the state of "meditation", and took the silent insult with full consciousness, and it was hot from the brow to the ear, and a familiar sentence sounded in his heart: "Down with Imperialism!"

So all the sorrow and resentment burst out at the same time, and they all focused on this cursed term.Lin Baishuang jumped up suddenly, and walked out of the park as if escaping; she thought to herself: "Love, love! You are just a small island where you rest in a day of leisure, not the big goal of life! Small island, small island! From now on, I will no longer waste time and work hard to find it. If you find one at hand, I'll catch it; when the heat is over, I'll throw it away. All my energy, all my time, I'll use to beat—" He raised his eyes smugly and looked around, and saw that he was standing at a cross street outside the park.On the right is a modern building of the foreign bank's "Sky Rising" style, with iron gates and iron windows embedded in the thick walls of granite, just like the fortress of the feudal princes in the Middle Ages.Lin Baishuang looked angrily at this giant spirit monster, and saw the altar-like vault inside it, where mammon sat high, and countless people knelt at its feet.Suddenly the exaggerated words that Li Huifang often said broke into Lin Baishuang's memory again.He nodded unconsciously, and the skin at the corner of his mouth relaxed.In a trance, he smelled the sweet fragrance of the fascinated god again.He also saw that it was Li Huifang who replaced Mammon and reversed sentient beings.

Biting his teeth on his lip, he tried his best to push away the distracting thoughts that mocked him, and turned his face away.Over there are buildings under construction; a small steam-powered engine is whistling, and groups of sparks fly out of the chimney, like new free and lively ideals.Lin Baishuang stared blankly for a while, then suddenly shook her head, instinctively gave way to a car approaching him, and strode straight towards Nanjing Road. After returning to school, Lin Baishuang felt extremely bored.He turned around in his own room, sitting, walking, and felt bad, as if the room was full of thorns, forcing him to run outside.

He walked into Instructor He's room, trying to get rid of the nameless disturbance by random talking.He leaned dejectedly on a chair, looked at Instructor He who was changing clothes and asked: "Are you going to Nanjing tonight?" The cat-faced friend nods.He pressed a button around his throat, took out a piece of paper from the pile of papers on the desk, and threw it to Lin Baishuang, then bent over to put on his leather boots again. It was a mimeographed leaflet with very vague handwriting; Lin Baishuang glanced at it casually, only seeing long and short sentences written in many branches, which looked like new-style vernacular poems, but each sentence was prefixed with two characters: "Down!"

"Damn, knock down! Everything will be knocked down, and nothing will be knocked down!" The cat-faced friend raised his head and said angrily, his face was ugly.Complaining is Instructor He's daily homework, so Lin Baishuang didn't think it was surprising, and just smiled socially without answering. "Five or six years ago, people were still dreaming in the ivory tower, and I was doing revolution; now, they should be the number one revolutionaries in Tianzi. Huh, let's see in the future, who is the real one?" Speculators!" This last sentence was spoken in a stern voice, as if the enemy was right in front of him.Lin Baishuang looked at his friend's cat face in astonishment, unable to think of a suitable reciprocal word.He sympathized with Instructor He's complaints, but he also felt that these words coming out of Instructor He's mouth were aimless. "Fuck me? No! I just can't see it. Of course I didn't blame me, but I can't bear the ugly look. Everyone is free to show off, and I don't object to them wanting to show off; but just want to I knocked down the elders first so that the short ones could show their faces, which made the onlookers feel sick! Lao Lin, do you think I should be angry?" Instructor He spoke slowly and almost word for word.His eyes looked at Lin Baishuang, as if waiting for him to judge "should he be angry or not". "This is also the ancestral method of Chinese literati. In the past, when children took the exam, didn't they often criticize other people's false identity? But now they use a more crowning hat." Lin Baishuang said with a bit of emotion, and picked up the mimeographed paper to take another look.But his heart was caught by something else.He came to this cat-faced friend because he was puzzled; he hoped that the stimulating and fast words would drive away the haze in his heart, and he hoped to listen to it again, just like what he talked about this morning. It also makes people very happy to talk about love. Seeing that the cat-faced friend didn't reply, but hastily put some handouts into his purse, he couldn't help but tease him softly: "Should there be some love action in Nanjing?" Instructor He seemed taken aback; the hands that were busy scratching the pieces of paper suddenly stopped.The prismatic light of his round eyes focused on Lin Baishuang's slightly serious face, and it took half a minute before he smiled and replied: "That's because I have homework, I have to go there once a week!" He picked up a stack of papers and flipped through them, and he went on to say: "Please don't talk about love anymore! There is no such thing as love, it's just a game. I don't deny that I'm just a game. Old Lin, you will always understand in the future that I didn't say this to coax you." "I don't believe there is an opponent who has the same claim as you." "However, you have to believe that there are still many opponents with the same means as me." Lin Baishuang shouted in surprise: "Oh." This is a note that expresses incomprehension and is waiting for explanation. "That is to say: there are no opponents who are playing for the game's sake, but there are opponents who are willing to play with me for other purposes. For example, whores!" Instructor He laughed haha. "Prostitution cannot but be said to be an exception." Lin Baishuang said softly, a feeling of disgust born of habit stirred in his heart. "Okay, you are going to talk about exceptions again. But I only said 'for example' just now! You should think that the word 'example' contains many games that are not for games, but in fact satisfy people's games. A woman of desire. Only believers who worship Love Sect close their eyes and refuse to believe." "Isn't that contradicting your proposition of respecting women's personality?" Instructor He wrapped the skin under his arm, shrugged his shoulders, picked up the hat and put it on his head, and replied arrogantly: "I never said that the rise or fall of a woman's personality is related to the confinement or liberation of that small square! Besides, I don't intend to force others to play with me, just as others cannot force me not to play with her!" This last sentence left a cold mark on Lin Baishuang's heart.He looked suspiciously at his friend's strange face, searching for words to refute.But Instructor He has already walked to the door. "So you always have the pain you can't ask for?" Then he also arrived at the door, and Lin Baishuang asked again as if he was the first to ask. "If there is still pain, it's not a game. It's because I don't have the time and mind to suffer these meaningless pains, so I play games! Play! Play! Play! Long live the game!" Instructor He said loudly, turned around, saluted Lin Baishuang farewell, and left in a hurry.Lin Baishuang was left immersed in complicated thoughts.He vaguely saw a group of women coming out from a dark corner, holding various flags and waving them chaotically, but when they got closer and closer, they no longer had human figures, but a formation of flags like colorful clouds. It turned into a mottled, indistinguishable mass, rolling forward and swallowing him whole. "Duh!" Shouting in shock, Lin Baishuang staggered back to her room, and fell into the chair in front of the desk when she crooked; her upper body lay on the desk, tightly hugging some books on international politics and economics piled up on the desk.