Chapter 18 November 14

I went to see Xiao Zhao in the morning.I first found the duty officer in charge, told him all the items I asked for approval when I met R last night, and asked him if he had received any instructions.This ghost, who has been in love for a long time, can't even speak very flexibly, but secretly smiles with his face turned away.When I asked him: "How many pieces of furniture do you want, can you get everything?" He actually made a face, and just said: "Didn't you see it when you turned around?" I'm really annoyed.Just from this guy's face, you can guess what they are talking about behind my back!

In the outer room, I saw an extra guard in plain clothes.He himself told me: They sent him, just to meet my needs.Hmph, it's hard for them to be so "thoughtful"! Xiao Zhao's room door was ajar.I took a peek first, and there were two stools and a broken table. Xiao Zhao stood by the table, bowed his head and meditated deeply.His demeanor suddenly aroused my memory: a few days before we finally broke up, he often bowed his head and thought alone in this way. I went in sideways and quietly, but turned around again, holding the door with both hands behind me, slowly stepped back, leaned my back against the door, faced Xiao Zhao, and gave him a sweet smile from a distance.

Instead Xiao Zhao sat down, supported Yi with his hand, looked at me up and down.Today I put on exactly the new outfit that Shunying gave me, and I got a new perm; why I did this, I can’t say, but I think it’s better this way. "Don't you know me? Why are you staring at me so blindly!" I approached lightly, smiling with my mouth pursed. Xiao Zhao forced a smile as if responding to the situation, but remained silent.But seeing the joy on my face gradually turn into melancholy, he apologized: "I didn't sleep well last night." I rolled my eyes at him, but I held his hand under the table and stroked it gently.Xiao Zhao sighed softly, looked at the small window, and murmured: "Say it's a dream? It's obviously not. Say it's not? But it's even more absurd and vicious than the worst dream! ——I just now I went to stand in the yard for a while, and saw the fog all over the sky; oh, then, it should be said to be a dream in the fog.” So he fixed his eyes on me and smiled dejectedly. "I don't allow you—to say such things," I looked at him half-annoyed and half-happy, "besides, I won't obey. You can just treat it as a dream; anyway, I am awake, and I will guard you If there is any accident around you, why don't I be more careful for you?..." I saw him lower his eyebrows, and went on to say, "My Zhao, even if you are here to recuperate, I will take care of you. You have to listen to me. Just tell me what you want to eat, what you want to play; no matter what, I will always give you ideas and make you comfortable."

Xiao Zhao raised his head slowly, and said with a sincere smile, "Then, can you get me some books?" "Originally—" I couldn't help laughing, "it's better not to read any books for patients; but since you want it, it's okay. What books do you want?" This time, he stopped asking, he looked at me and smiled.After a while, he said: "You can choose some books for me, anyway, any book will do. If the book is a bit embarrassing, a newspaper is also good." I don't understand why Xiao Zhao lowered his request again—maybe he trusts me, but maybe he still has doubts about me; but even if he is doubtful, I don't blame him, I was originally in a position that should be suspected .I thought this through last night.I'm not impatient, I believe Xiao Zhao will understand me slowly.At that moment, I promised him that books and newspapers were available, so I changed the subject.

Because I have already reported my "work steps", and R has also verbally "approved", so today I am not afraid of the eavesdropping of the watchers outside the window, and I freely talk about my life after breaking up with Xiao Zhao.But I have only selected the most glorious part: the process of field service.He listened attentively, and nodded from time to time. Finally, he said with a little emotion: "After the Anti-Japanese War, I also went to some battlefields, and some exiled students from Pingjin, but I didn't join any service groups; now I think about it. Wake up, it's like a dream!"

I seized this opportunity and asked straightforwardly: "At that time, did you make a good friend named K?" "No," he replied without hesitation, "of course there are friends, but none named K!" I pursed my lips and smiled, scratching my face with my fingers to shame him. "If you don't believe me, it's up to you." Xiao Zhao seemed a little angry, and turned his face away. I held his neck, turned his face, and whispered to his ear with a smile: "My Zhao, don't lie; I still have this little cleverness. You deny it so quickly, That's where the problem lies. But I'm just asking casually, so we won't mention it any more;—but I'll ask you one more question: Have you had any lovers these past few years?"

Xiao Zhao glanced at me in astonishment, and I think my face probably blushed a little at that time; he chuckled suddenly, and asked playfully, "If there is, what's wrong with you?" "I just want to see her!" I let go of Xiao Zhao and said quietly. "Well, really not." "Actually, it's pointless to lie to me——what's the point?" "Hey, you must not believe it, so it's up to you." Xiao Zhao said anxiously. "I've finally had a little experience in love—but then I realized that no one will love me all the time." "You are wrong!" I stared at Xiao Zhao stupidly, and I could only say this sentence, but I couldn't continue; I slowly leaned on him, hid my face and said: "Now there are people—love you!"

At this moment, there was a sudden sound on the door, Xiao Zhao and I were startled, and stood up abruptly at the same time. One person entered the door with his head, but it was the guy who claimed to be at my beck and call. I asked in a low voice, "What's the matter with you?" "I heard it wrong, I thought it was calling me." The guy smiled slyly, then retracted again, and deliberately closed the door, making a loud noise. I was so angry that my complexion changed—that kid, I have to report to go up and replace him. Didn't R clearly promise me to "let it go"?Whose idea was it to send such a guy again?

Xiao Zhao glanced at me, pushed her mouth towards the door, and said two words softly: "What?" "It's said that it's here to serve you and me; it's not a good thing to see at first glance." But Xiao Zhao couldn't seem to relax.He walked a few steps with his hands behind his back, and suddenly walked to the door, opened the door, and said to the guard (guard), "Hey, Comrade Guard, I saw your dominoes yesterday, are you still there? Coincidentally, there is one more person today." Come on, take it out, let's play." The guard didn't say yes or no, he just opened his mouth and smiled.I understood Xiao Zhao's intentions, so I didn't object.The guard went to get the card, and brought another man in plain clothes, who nodded with Xiao Zhao as soon as he entered the door, as if he was an old acquaintance. (Afterwards, I asked Xiaozhao, and I learned that when I was arrested, I had "knowledge" with this person, and later "became" this person's "good intentions and pity", and came to "speak kindly to open up differences", asking Xiaozhao to "wake up "Yu Yunyun.)

Of course it is Pai Gow.Immediately became lively.Xiao Zhao was actually in a good mood.I glanced at him intentionally many times, but he never felt it.Feelings of boredom and irritability, like flies and mosquitoes, come and go.Flipping the cards mechanically with one hand, human faces often appear on some cards. After rubbing his eyes, he realized what card it was and what time it was. I thought about Xiao Zhao's denial of having a lover, and his denial of having a friend named K... This is so much fun!I still remember what K said when he talked about his good friend for the first and last time at the C-S Association that day; isn’t Xiao Zhao’s shadow clear enough here?Moreover, the character in the "Kongan without a Head" has now been revealed, sitting next to me; the woman "witnessed on the spot", K insisted, is the lover of the protagonist of "Kongan", could it be that I heard it wrong?But Xiao Zhao denies having a lover.

I couldn't help but sneered.Xiao Zhao was very vigilant this time, and gave me a meaningful look.People are pushing me to be a "zhuang".I don't quite understand whether I am losing or winning. Since it is my turn to do it, let it go. However, holding the deck of cards in my hand, I seem to feel that one is Xiao Zhao and the other is K; out of the two, one must have lied to me... If not, then K is at least guilty of not confessing. "Hey, K, just say that you and the arrested are good friends, am I going to hurt you? How can you see people so blind!" - I thought in my heart, and I slapped the two cards together, turned over. These are two unlucky cards, deliberately trying to quarrel with me, as if they were K and Xiao Zhao. I lost a pass... When I pushed the cards up, I caught a glimpse of someone outside the door, who seemed to be a woman; I was a little suspicious at the time, but unfortunately I didn't go to have a look immediately. Then came lunch and drove into the room.Xiao Zhao looked at the four bowls of food, raised his eyebrows slightly, but then smiled.But I'm estimating: at least half of the money is taken by the official on duty. Is this worth five yuan? That "old acquaintance" had something to leave, so we invited the guard to eat together. "Comrade Ma," I intended to make friends with him, "Where is your hometown?" Before answering, he sighed first,... But he is very talkative, just like other Northeast people I have met.Xiao Zhao just listened quietly. Once or twice what I said to Comrade Ma had some effect, Xiao Zhao couldn't help but look at me, expressing his bewilderment. "Comrade Ma," at the end, I watched the "special waiter" go out with the leftovers, and asked him with the most sincerity, "You lost today, how much?" His face flushed: "Not much, damn it, I'm unlucky!" But he finally said a number. "Oh,"——I bent my fingers deliberately to calculate, and then smiled and said: "Comrade Ma, all of your output is here! We were just having fun,——Comrade Ma , but don’t worry too much, I still have some on hand, it’s yours, so you can keep it..." I quickly took out some bills, but I didn’t count them, which was about the same amount as he had lost. Just put it in his pocket, "You're welcome, Comrade Ma, I don't like being polite!" It was a blitz.He was almost at a loss. "How can this be done, how can it be done!" He blushed and pushed back.I said impatiently: "Comrade Ma, you have to give others a face," but then said softly with a gentle smile, "Besides, we are considered to be fellow-citizens here, so why should we be separated from each other!" I motioned to Xiao Zhao to ask him to help me too.Xiao Zhao was wonderful. He patted Ma Weishi on the shoulder and said, "Comrade, you can accept it for me! Let's bet tomorrow and the day after tomorrow. If I lose, I don't have to pay for it, isn't it good?" So amidst the laughter, we "persuaded" Ma Weishi, and everyone chatted casually. But when only Xiao Zhao and I were facing each other, the air became heavier little by little. Xiao Zhao lowered his head in thought again.Looking at the watch, it was already two o'clock, and I still had some "procedures" to ask for instructions, and I still had a few words to tell Xiao Zhao; I was hesitating, but I heard Xiao Zhao talking to himself: "What do you mean? I don’t understand. But it might not be enough to let it go, it’s still in the future…” "Zhao, you don't listen to me again!" I walked up to him and pressed his forehead with one hand, "Why bother?" Xiao Zhao looked up at me, his eyes were stern: "However, there is a gourd stuck in my heart——if you were me, I'm afraid you would have to—that." "Zhao!" I lowered my head, my curly hair covered his eyes, "I don't need 'if' any more, now I have already become you, I am you!" I felt Xiao Zhao's body tremble slightly, but I smiled: "Fool! Still don't understand? You said your heart is a dull gourd, do you think my side is a bright gourd? I'm not upset, why don't you?" Why should I upset you first?" Seeing that he wanted to argue, I quickly covered his mouth with my hands: "It's useless to talk too much. I can only tell you four words: it depends on human effort!" He still wanted to pester me, but I kissed him on the cheek and left with a smile.