Chapter 13 The fifth part implies sin.2
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The marriage between Tian Yuan and the deputy village chief didn't start, and it didn't matter whether it ended.However, just for this, the villagers laughed at him wantonly.The village head said that Tian Yuan was originally an idiot, and he became a fool when he read and taught. He didn't know where the society had developed, and he didn't want to be a young deputy village head.Does he know how much money the deputy village head woman has saved?Buying jade to make bricks can also build three buildings.So exclamations, regrets and hissing, the turmoil has been surging for a long time.For a long time, the village streets in Zhangjiaying were filled with the sound of ridicule towards Tianyuan.The men went to work in responsible fields, or went to Liucheng——Liu Town at that time—to start a small business.Women bring their children to the village to talk nonsense, that is, Zhang Tianyuan, a man, why doesn't he look like a farmer? Although you are a teacher, you are still a farmer. If you are a farmer, you can't carry books and Everyone looked out of place.So, the woman guessed what it was like to sleep with Tian Yuan.It was said that he and Yamei had to take a bath every night, and women would not let them go to bed without washing such things.Don't let her touch her in bed.When it came to the end, they all suddenly understood that Tian Yuan had slept with a beautiful woman in a big city for more than ten years, so he couldn't get used to this country woman.So even the deputy village chief looked down on him.
"What about the deputy village chief? She's not a country girl."
Actually, Tian Yuan is not like that.On the day Yamei came back, she entered the village at dusk.The afterglow of the setting sun spreads brightly on the mountain ridges. No matter the houses in the villages, the gullies or the creeks, they are all covered with this light purple and light red.Tian Yuan is tidying up the water under the eaves of his new house, and he is going to Luoyang. He is afraid that the rain will flood the wall when the rainy season comes, so he digs a drainage ditch in advance to be prepared.At this time, my mother suddenly said in a corner, Tianyuan, Yamei is back, so hurry up and pick her up.He straightened his head and couldn't find the figure of his mother, so he bent down to work again.The mother said again: "Go quickly, she is on the beam."
Leaning the shovel against the wall, when doubtful, a woman ran into the courtyard, her face was bright red, she was thirty-one or twenty-five years old, but she looked twenty-four or twenty-five, round and handsome, with thick lips, at a glance, It always makes people feel that she is going to kiss you with those red and tender thick lips.However, she will not do that in vain.She is the second-married daughter-in-law of Zhang Jiaying's dumb newly-married family, and her natal family is Liu Cheng.The original in-law's family also belonged to Liu Cheng. That man was arrested, sentenced to 22 years in prison, and deprived of political power for life. Everyone in Zhangjiaying knows about this.As for the details, what crime was committed, but they don't know much.In short, the man went to the prison, and she had to marry to the remote Zhangjiaying. Although the new man was dumb, she had no choice but to swallow his anger.She ran in front of Tian Yuan, her breathing was heavy, her chest heaved, and she said, Teacher Zhang, no wonder you didn't want me to deliver it to the door, so there was a woman who wanted to come right away.This matter is said to be far behind the street talk of the women in the village.In fact, it was before he went to Luoyang to work as a tutor for others.One day at noon, when he went to fetch water from the well, he met this new villager woman who was also at the well.Because of the depth of the well, she couldn't win a bucket full of water no matter what. When she went to the mouth of the well to see that there was only half a bucket, she tied the bucket into the well again. .Because he is a man, he had to wind the well rope for her, so naturally he had to wind the bucket for her.After finishing these things, when she looked up, she realized that she was staring at him obsessively, like reading a long-awaited love novel.She said you are Teacher Zhang, he nodded, she said I am the dumb daughter-in-law, on the wedding day, the whole village went, only you did not go.He said that I had to teach and couldn't get away.She smiled, a layer of bright red dancing on her face.
"I also like reading. When will I borrow some books from you?"
After saying this, she didn't wait for him to nod or not, she carried the bucket and left. Seeing her posture of carrying water, she knew that she was a woman who seldom did heavy physical work.Things seem to be just talking.Unexpectedly, a few days later, shortly after dinner, Teacher Zhang came back from enjoying the cool air on the mountain ridge. First read the novel "Happy Homeland".That night, she wore a skirt, which was the same as that worn by Yamei when she was enjoying the cool air on the beam more than twenty years ago. It was wide and fluttering.The upper body is an apricot-yellow gown, and there are clusters of red spots on the apricot-yellow, which are sometimes sparse and sometimes dense.Seeing Tian Yuan, she sat still, put down her book and said:
"I'm here to borrow a book."
He stood under the door frame of the partition wall, like a statue embedded in it, his face was stiff and panicked. "Borrow it," he said.
"No more," she smiled, "the mute is not at home tonight."
He asked, "What did you do?"
She said, "I went to Liucheng to sell apples."
He said, "Then go back and watch the door."
She said: "I locked the door, and I won't go back tonight."
As she said that, she started to untie her clothes, unhurriedly, and untied the neck buttons first, facing down one by one, and quickly undid five buttons, revealing the brassiere that country women seldom wear, sitting upright. Move, wait for him to come.Counting it, Mr. Zhang has not been in contact with women for more than ten years, and he has become unfamiliar with everything about women, and even seems to have completely forgotten about those things about the bed.However, at this moment, Liu Cheng's woman showed her breasts upright, waiting for him to walk over, as if she was holding out a basin of cool, shady and holy white snow in front of a man who was so thirsty that he was about to pass out. .He glanced at her, and the first thing he thought of was the days and nights he spent with Yamei.Those happy times, like the stream in mid-spring, were clear and joyful, flowing from the bottom of his heart.It made his mouth dry and his throat was like a red-hot iron pipe. As long as he got a little closer to the pile of white snow, it would creak and emit scorching white smoke.But he said, don't do this, I am a teacher, and I will be innocent for the rest of my life.When he said this, his lips trembled and his voice was dry, like a hot wind blowing in the bitter summer climate, needless to say, it couldn't stop the endless scorching heat.She stared at his twisted and trembling face and said:
"You are not a teacher, you are an idiot. If you don't come here, you will regret it forever!"
He slowly raised his head and stared at the basin of snow she brought.
"The dumb guy calls me uncle, you know I'm his uncle."
she says:
"The dumb uncle is also a man, so he can't be pitiful for the rest of his life!"
He said:
"You know how old I am. I'm past fifty."
she says:
"I know what you're looking for at fifty is a fifty-year-old man!"
He finally walked up to her and said as he walked:
"It will ruin you and me..."
She began to take off her skirt and said:
"What's wrong with you, you still stay like this. You're afraid that I won't let the third person know about it."
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If the matter is nothing more than this, it will be nothing more than a single slip and become an eternal hatred.However, Teacher Zhang didn't expect that after the work was over, she would lie naked on the bed and say some nonsensical words, which suddenly made Teacher Zhang feel ashamed.She said, Mr. Zhang, you are old and not as healthy as the mute, but I can talk to you when I do that, but he can't hear anything you say to the mute. You are still better than him.When she said this, she was satisfied, with daily joy and happiness on her face, and she did not have infinite panic and gratitude for the sudden love like him.The starry night in summer is so brilliant outside the window that the stars and moonlight are as bright as a piece of ice on the window.Tian Yuan's heart was very hot, as if a pot of boiling water had made him tremble all over. He didn't feel a little calm until he looked at the bright light on the window. The raindrops, all human, are like jumping from the vicious sun into the biting cold water.He hurriedly grabbed his shirt and put it on, sat shirtless on the head of the bed, grabbed his hair with both hands and remained silent.The wind squeezed in through the window, and he walked in the shade of the house. He felt that the wind was blowing over his body, like cold green snakes crawling slowly on his body, looking for the breath that suddenly spit out. The part of the poisonous tongue.He shivered coldly, a wave of remorse drilled into his bone marrow, like a bug biting forward, until it reached the depths of his heart.She said: "Mr. Zhang, why don't you talk, are you dissatisfied?"
Hearing her hot, viscous and thick voice, it seemed as if it came out of the ground, it was cloudy and cold.In fact she said it very kindly, but he thought it was sharp.He tried to avoid her physical existence for a while.He felt her white and soft body, like a ghost, slowly leading him into the abyss.He put his eyes on the brightness of the window and did not move, so as to immediately restore his messy consciousness, and to show his life experience in the depths of his heart.He thought that a few days ago, someone had introduced him to Luoyang to be a tutor for someone else's children, saying that the monthly salary was very high, and that in less than a year, he could settle his debts for building a house.But he didn't go then.The reason why I didn't go was just because I was fifty years old, and I was too lazy to go through the ups and downs of life.Rather than living in an unsuitable city after passing fifty, it would be better to spend the rest of my life in the countryside where I was born and raised.However, at that time, it would be fine to go with others.He withdrew his gaze from the cold light of the window sills, placed it firmly on her body exuding the scent of heat, and said roughly:
"You put on your clothes."
She sat up and got dressed.
"I think you're a little scared," she said, "I won't let anyone know."
He gave her the skirt on the bed.
"Don't be like this in the future," he said, "I'm sorry for you and the dumb as an uncle."
She turned her head resolutely to stare at him.
"What uncle and nephew, it's nothing more than going to an ancestral grave!"
He hooked his head.
"In any case, the words cannot be separated."
Old-minded, she put on her clothes, jumped off the bed and buttoned them up, and her movements were so brisk that she really didn't look like her age.She said that when you open your eyes to see what age this society has reached, you still seem to live in the last century.Not to mention the south, even the cities, county towns, and market towns in the north can't find idiots like you, nor can you find a village like your Zhangjiaying that hasn't changed for decades.She stomped her feet, kicked off the dust that she stepped on her shoes when she was eager to go to bed, and brushed the hair on her forehead, saying, Mr. Zhang, don't you look like a man, you are the only one with a deep culture in this family camp, you can't think about it anymore As for the matter, Zhangjiaying is too deep in the mountains.The mute won't come back tomorrow, you leave me a door, and I'll come over then.After speaking, she turned and left.Tian Yuan called and said that you must not come over tomorrow.But she neither answered nor turned her head, opened the door with a bang, and stepped into the moonlight of the courtyard.The sound of her footsteps was like stepping on water, wading through the moonlight.When she left, he suddenly felt a sense of emptiness and fear.It was as if she had pushed him into the dark forest, feeling that what was about to happen was right in front of her eyes.
Turn out the lights, and lie in the depths of darkness, like lying in a coffin. (Huang Huang outside also wandered back from the village at this time. He hummed a few times in the yard and went back to his nest. He lay on the bed, staring at the darkness, tossing and turning, unable to fall asleep until dawn When she was about to go to bed, her mother came back from there again, saying that she saw the newly married slut in Liu Cheng in the village, walked out of the house, and asked Tian Yuan if she had come to the house. Tian Yuan looked at his mother with a puzzled expression Annoyed and angry, she wanted to say that she was just here to sit and sit. But before she could say anything, her mother slapped her across the face, saying that you shameless son, who is fifty years old, dares to be so disrespectful! You don't have any bones, why did they all refuse you when they introduced their wives to you one by one before? It really looks like you are in love with Huimei.
"Tell me," growled the mother, "what the hell are you!"
Determined to keep the woman from Liu Cheng out the next day, with a good heart of remorse, he waited until the next night to lock the gate, but he didn't. At a glance that she is past thirty but she doesn't look like thirty, and at her bright red lips and provocative and bright eyes, one is finally led into the abyss again by her temptation.When it came, it was an earth-shattering joy.When I went there, I left behind the endless fear brought about by guilt, as well as my mother's censure and Yamei's ridicule.Sometimes, in order to comfort myself, I would like to live in this world without asking for anything else, live a day-to-day life, give up on myself and steal away life. Anyway, Yamei is married, so I don’t have to think about her.But more often, they are sitting alone in the room, or standing on the podium of Laojunmiao Primary School, which has stood there for most of their lives, terribly thinking about the fear of their own depravity. Live clean until death.Standing on the sidelines, watching Tian Yuan's life process, it is really painful for him.However, before he finally took such a move, he was forced to do so with a smile.On the fifth night, Liu Cheng's woman came to his house on time, finished those things, put on her clothes in a leisurely manner, and said that the mute will come back tomorrow, and I won't come tomorrow night.He said that you don't want to come here anymore, and I was worried about this matter. "I won't let anyone know," she said. "How many times have I been here?"
He looked at her calm face.
She said, "Five times?"
He was still looking at her handsome and calm face.
She said: "People in the village say that you made a lot of money writing "Happy Homeland". Feelings are different. I hate that dumb. Hate turns to hate, love turns to love, and I can't sleep with you for nothing. This is what I'm interested in right now. It doesn't matter if I don't want a penny, but it looks like I'm too stupid. You Don't let me do something too stupid, Mr. Zhang."
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The woman in Liu Cheng said with a heaving chest, "You don't want me to deliver it to your door. The enthusiasm I had with me before is gone now. There are women from the provincial capital who want to come right away after a long time of trouble."Hurry up and pick it up, I thought she was so young and beautiful, but it turns out she is just an old lady.The woman in Liu Cheng was not jealous of Yamei's arrival when she said this, but seemed to gloat over the discovery that Yamei was over fifty years old.She looked at Teacher Zhang's dubious, half-stupid face, and said, go and pick her up, she's already on the beam, an old couple, and they haven't seen each other for more than ten years. She sleeps and suffers, or sleeps and suffers with me.Having said that, the woman from Liu Cheng turned around and left. The flesh on her buttocks hung on her twisted waist, as if hiding two animals that were eager to get out of the cage, bumping against her fluttering skirt until she trembled .Teacher Zhang looked at her figure, as if looking at a provocative tiger wolf, disgusted and disgusted, but also helpless.He regarded her as a symbol of evil, thinking that God had sent her from the city purposely to punish him.However, from a practical point of view, at this time, apart from regretting what he had done, he didn't hate himself so much.As for talking about incest and morality, it's just for refusing to talk about it. When it comes to how much pain these two aspects have brought him, it's not that serious.But it turned out that from the beginning of the copulation, he always misunderstood that she had feelings for him, or that she was moved by "Happy Homeland", which made her so confident and bold without any scruples.It wasn't until she asked him for money and discussed the price of one sleep that he suddenly realized that the so-called emotion was empty at the beginning. Made a lot of cracks.That night, he sat alone in the courtyard for a long time, and the melting moon was pouring over his body like water.Long Zhong's old Huang Huang was lying beside him, and he stroked Huang Huang's head up and down, with cool tears pouring out involuntarily.Huang Huang has lived for thirty years, and the hair on her body, when it falls off, is like being swept away by the autumn wind, but it will regenerate, but it will never be like a grass slope in spring.Its hair is already very sparse. When touching its hairless scalp, Teacher Zhang felt that he was fifty years old, and his heart trembled slightly.At such an age, after being teased by Liu Cheng's women, he suddenly felt his stupidity and fear of the current situation.He said Liu Cheng's woman, so you are a shameless bitch.The woman in Liu Cheng looked at him angrily and astonishedly, as if she was looking at someone who robbed her and called her a thief instead.Teacher Zhang, she said, why do you say that about me? You are being unreasonable.And said:
"Mr. Zhang, you won't give me money when you go to buy things from others."
"What did I buy?"
"hapiness."
"Are you really a prostitute?"
"Whatever you say."
"You Liucheng women are all like this."
"Women all over the world are like this."
In the face of such a woman, he was logically poor, not to mention such a thing, he knew that at that time, his mother must be hiding somewhere to listen and watch.He was honest, afraid that his mother would suddenly stand in front of them.He wanted to slap her in the face, and told her to get lost, Liu Cheng's woman!But in his life, he had never hit anyone.I also know that the momentum and theories of women in Liucheng who parted ways with the customs of the countryside can also be explained and understood everywhere in society. Thumbs up, at least by default.He wanted her to leave him immediately, leave the bed that still contained her whole body, and never set foot in this new house again.Then he forcefully acted like a man, saying how much you want, you can tell me, and I will never see you, a rotten woman, again.
"You can give it to Teacher Zhang casually. If you don't have money, I won't take it."
He said: "You tell me the number, if you have no money, I will earn it for you."
She said: "I have met a lot of men, Mr. Zhang, I enjoy the most with you. In the future, I will come when the dumb is not at home. I don't want to offend you. You can give as much as you want, and when you are gone You can pay me back." These were the last few words that Liu Cheng's woman said when she left the bed. Teacher Zhang didn't feel so terrible at that time, but in the melting moonlight, she was silent, and when she thought about it, she shuddered.Needless to say, the women in Liu Cheng dare to do something, and they will come when they say it, and if you don't give her a sum of money to go, she will have a reason to come.In this way, it is impossible to go to Luoyang, resign from the school teacher, and teach private students under the help of others.Even without the turmoil with the Liu Cheng woman, it's not like you didn't have the idea of moving over.If you don't go, how can you repay the huge debt of building a house?At that time, it was because of nostalgia for Zhangjiaying. If he didn't go now, it was because of nostalgia for Liu Cheng, a rotten woman.Then go, that's all.The loopholes in life may only be plugged by avoiding them.Not to mention the persecution of Liu Cheng women, even the high interest rate of the village head's debt is approaching day by day. Could it be that you can continue to live peacefully in the environment of Zhangjiaying?
Also went.The teacher's position and the arrival of the full-time indicator were handed over to others.I thought that leaving the school would make the villagers feel sorry and surprised, but I didn't expect that everyone in the village would say:
"Go, earn some money and come back, what are you doing here on this mountain ridge?"
gone.When I came back in the middle, I paid back one-third of the debt interest of the village chief's family, and also gave a sum to the woman in Liucheng.The money is given at the head of the village. The north wind in winter makes the mountains resound and the valleys sing. Everyone in the village warms up at home with cats.He came out of the village chief's house and walked quietly alone, when he suddenly heard footsteps following behind him, he turned around and saw a woman from Liu Cheng, wearing a red coat of pure fur, burning towards her like a ball of fire Come.He looked around, gave her a cold look, and said, "Follow me to collect debts?"
"You will give it when you have it," she said, "If you don't let it go."
He gave her a stack, she counted it and put it in her pocket, he said it was a lot less?He looked down on this woman quite a bit.I didn't expect women to look down on him like this, saying how much money you thought you earned in Luoyang, that is, earning a nanny's salary.After saying this, the woman turned around and rolled into the village street in winter like a ball of fire, and rolled into the gatehouse of a building.He stared at her warm walking body, and stood motionless at the head of the village. Leng Ding'er regretted what he had said when he gave her the money and the cold look he had cast on her fiery face.At this time, he heard his mother say to him from afar:
"Cat, find a woman to marry."
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He followed Liu Cheng's woman for a few steps, and when he chased her to the entrance of the village, he saw that Yamei had already entered the village, and was identifying and greeting each other with the villagers at the entrance of the village.Talk to each other about getting fat, losing weight, looking old, and you are still young.When he saw her, he walked a few steps, but when he reached the edge of the crowd, he stopped his steps coldly, remembering that she was not only here to see her husband who had been divorced for fifteen years, but also to see people from Zhangjiaying, Zhangjiaying Village.To be exact, she left the city and went to this old place to find a little peace.So, he stood still outside the crowd, looking at her as if he was a guest who knew everyone well.At that time, the sun was setting, and the entrance of the village was covered with light yellow and light red. This light melted with her excitement and danced on her face, very similar to the stage when the county troupe sang a new play. Rotating lights.She was wearing a knitted spring dress, light gray and white, simple and generous, if you didn't pay attention, you would think that she came here just in a casual dress, but if you pay attention a little, you would know that this is her intentional dress.She didn't want to bring the luxury of the city into this rural society, nor did she want to bring the downfall of the city into Zhangjiaying.Did light gray and light white suit her state of mind at that time? At that time, Teacher Zhang was not angry at all.He stood looking at her, and she stood looking at him.The moment they looked at each other, there was a sudden silence, and even the sound of the setting sun was faintly and creakingly transmitted from the west mountain beam.After that, he first woke up from the daze.
He said, "Come?"
She said, "Here we come."
He said: "Bump all the way, go home and wash."
She said, "It's very convenient to take a car from Liucheng."
Then, the villagers crowded into Teacher Zhang's new house, saying that the new house built by Tianyuan is so beautiful, the bricks are so muddy to the top, and there is no earthy smell from the top and bottom, which is unexpected, Yamei.Yamei didn't speak, just looked up at the house in the yard, a few deep lines that couldn't be concealed were across her forehead and hung in the corners of her eyes, like thick and thin branches floating in the sky in an orderly manner. Hang on.Going into the house, she said Tianyuan, the old house was taken away?He said not yet, and she sat down with relief.What happened next was even more routine. She took a big bag full of zippers from a sister-in-law who used to scold her when she was in the village. Touxin Refined Candy, Assorted Soft Candies and imported American chocolates that can only be bought, give adults and children a handful or half a catty each, and then ask everyone to sit down. You sit, come back after a while, and then all sit.Those without a stool sat on the threshold or on the door pier, asking wildly about the rumors of the provincial capital, how many floors did the Asia Building have?She said less than ten floors, how dare she have dozens of floors.I also asked if the Erqi Memorial Tower had twenty-seven floors?Asia City, Zhengzhou Clothing City, etc., are they really as big as the county seat?She happily answered these kind and ridiculous questions.At the end of the question, a woman suddenly said, "Yamei, have you married another man?"
"No," she said, "alone."
The woman said, "How troublesome it is to no longer have a family."
She said: "It's not tiring, and it's not suitable."
In this way until the sunset, the voice of a woman calling the baby to eat can be heard from the village as always.The villagers walked away scattered.Tian Yuan also brought out a bowl of poached eggs from the kitchen.She saw off the last few sisters-in-law and came back to pick up the poached eggs cooked by Tian Yuan, turned around seriously, looked at the house once, and finally set her sights on Tian Yuan.
"Let's build a house and borrow money."
"No."
"I thought there would be no, I borrowed it from you and asked me to pay it back."
"Really do not have."
She started eating his poached eggs.Everything is familiar and warm, and it seems to be exactly the same as when she was in Zhangjiaying, not only the taste of the poached egg wrapped in white, but also the ceramic bowl that holds the egg, which she bought in the town when she was here. A kind of small fine flower porcelain.Just at the moment when this bowl was served, a kind of bitter and hot blood began to flow rapidly in her veins, making her feel that just to serve this bowl and eat a poached egg boiled by Tianyuan, she traveled thousands of miles It's worth it to come back once.
He sat across from her and looked at her.
"Now that I'm back, I'll stay for a few more days."
She said, "Aren't you a student who is going to Luoyang to teach others?"
He said, "It's not a big deal."
She said: "This year I have been dreaming a lot, and I have always dreamed that your mother called you a cat and a cat."
"I was called Cat when I was little," he said.
She said: "I haven't heard of anyone in Zhangjiaying for decades."
He said: "Eat quickly, there is still in the pot."
While Yamei was eating, she stroked Huang Huang who was lying beside her with her hands. She cried, and Huang Huang also shed old tears.It’s been fifteen years since I ate with a bowl in my hand like this. Not to mention Zhengzhou, the provincial capital, even ordinary townspeople are not allowed to hold the bowl in their hands and look around. The restaurant has further consolidated and prospered in the commercial street of Asia. In addition to breakfast, she has two meals at noon and evening. Either you invite me, or I invite you. It is very common for a meal to be invited by several merchants. How can you be allowed to go alone? Holding a big bowl, carefree.The courtyard outside the house is still like a folk custom, full of small paulownia trees.The tung leaves have grown up, and there are a few bird droppings dripping on each leaf.The sparrows, driven back by the last afterglow of the setting sun, twittered into a ball on the small tree, chirping as if a bamboo pole was breaking, and fell from the tree like ripe fruit, stumbling into the house.The new house still has a damp breath, but the coolness of this breath is somewhat irritating.What did Yamei think of? A book on the city, which says that the city is just a prostitute who makes a living out of laughing.The general idea is that because of the temptation of money, prostitutes will no longer take into account the issue of chastity, and even fear that they will not receive many customers and break up enough; at certain times, there is still a trace of pure spirit in the defiled body, the spirit of the spirit. Chastity is not taken away by the power of money, but it is a pity that the bigger the city, the more prosperous it is, and that trace of spiritual chastity is often submerged inadvertently, like a flood of floods and a piece of land with green shoots. Land, how can the land be the enemy of the flood.He also said that only the countryside, far away from the city, is a pure girl who will always protect her precious chastity.In that village, a bird cry, a sunset, a team of geese, a wisp of cooking smoke, a herd of cattle and sheep, and a wild and primitive laughing and cursing of the villagers all show the sanctity of the country's chastity.
She said, "Tianyuan, your tree seems to be densely planted."
He said: "When it grows into rafters, cut down every other tree."
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If it is said that the final decision to stay in the rural society is, I am afraid that it is the moment when I pick up the poached eggs cooked by Tianyuan. Although it is an idea, it has strengthened the thoughts that have flashed from time to time for Yamei in the past two years.Then, after tossing and turning and not being able to fall asleep last night, she finally made up her mind to say to Tian Yuan:
"I'm not leaving, I want to live in Zhangjiayingzi forever."
Yamei got dressed and when she opened the door to go out, she saw her mother-in-law's figure flashing before her eyes.This flash was like a bridge connecting her with another world.During the days back to Zhangjiaying, together with Tian Yuan, Huang Huang went to add new soil to her mother-in-law's grave, and new soil to her son's grave.The loess that exudes coolness and warmth has vigorously cultivated her memory of the past, making her irresistibly recall and yearn for her life in the countryside fifteen years ago.Speaking of which, she is also over half a hundred years old, and her life is falling from the height of the peak. It is unknown whether she will see the sunrise tomorrow if she is born today.Last night, she followed her mother-in-law to another world. She did not expect that that corner of the world would be so heavenly.It's a pity that the son doesn't recognize her as his mother anymore.Unexpectedly, it turns out that there is also a world over there. After a person dies, the family is still a family.Qiangqiang has reached the age of marriage, and his grandmother is looking for a wife for him.The girl is from a peasant family.Yamei rushed over when they met.The house where the son lives is so dilapidated, the straw sticking together has a musty smell.She said Qiangqiang, Mom will build you a western-style building with balconies on all four sides, excellent lighting, carpets, wallpapers, and other furniture. Mom will let you have what others have, and Mom will let you have what others don’t have. Yes, luxurious and generous, not tacky.The son walked past her without saying a word.Strong!When she called out, tears flowed.The daughter-in-law arrived at the entrance of the village.She thought it must be gorgeous, but when she reached the door, she saw that it was a very farmhouse.A red flower jacket, a pair of pointed cotton shoes, and very ordinary trousers.She wrapped a dozen large denomination bills in a piece of red paper and handed them to her son.The son glanced at Qian Lengyuan, but remained silent, and went to meet his wife.The mother-in-law tidied it up in the hut, borrowed someone else's thermos bottle and put it on the table.She said to her mother-in-law, if you give this money to the girl, it is also my mother's kindness. "No need, our side is different from yours."
In a blink of an eye, the mother-in-law went outside the house again, and followed her out, only to see the whole village, all of which were thatched huts.At the door of each house, there are flat stones for people to sit on while eating.Third aunt, a woman pulled her mother-in-law and said, grandson is engaged?Meet right away.Po said.Bring what you need at home.As we talked, the girl came.The little safflower jacket danced and dangled on the village street. In front of her was a middle-aged daughter-in-law, perhaps a coal worker.What about strong?The mother-in-law hurried over and took the matchmaker's hand.I have caused you trouble.Which one are you talking about.The matchmaker turned around and called grandma quickly. "Hi, grandma," the girl called out very politely.
Stayed in the house.At the head of the village, there was a loud cow cry.Someone's group of hens ran into the yard.Er Niang, you drink water.Qiang Qiang came out of nowhere, to be so sensible.He brought the girl another cup.Not thirsty.As the girl spoke, a blush appeared on her face.Yamei stood at the door of the house.No one asked her to sit down, and no one seemed to see her.I am a strong mother.She said three times, but the matchmaker and the girl ignored her.The mother-in-law said, don't say anything, this is not that.Then sit down and laugh for a while, and then get to the point.
Sitting across from the girl, Qiangqiang was embarrassed.The matchmaker and the mother-in-law exchanged a wink, and the two walked out together, watching from a tree outside the house.How old is this tree?Thirteen years, planted in the year I came here.Oh, you came late, and you have suffered a lot from living people. I have been here for more than 30 years.Good luck to you.The lucky thing is that the girl and your Qiangqiang are both under ten years old, so they come here to enjoy the blessings, and they have saved so many troubles in their lives. "Where's your child?" asked the mother-in-law.
"Still suffering there," said the matchmaker, "the days are not like the days."
"My family's Tianyuan is also alone, alone there."
"Where is the daughter-in-law?"
"My daughter-in-law does have money, but the more money she has, the less good life will be for her."
"Money is the bane."
"But the people over there don't want their lives for that thing."
Yamei came out of the house and tried to take a few steps outside.How is it such a warm sun.Zhangjiaying is full of sunlight.There seems to be a quarrel in the village.It's the laughing and scolding of men and women.A man drives a flock of sheep into an empty house.It turned out to be Dalin who lived in poverty.Qiangqiang said:
"My family is poor."
"Not afraid," the girl said, "I'm afraid people will be lazy."
Qiangqiang said: "My grandma is getting old."
The girl said, "Can't both of us serve an old man?"
Qiangqiang said, "Come here and we can do some business."
The girl said: "I hate business, I want to farm."
Qiangqiang said: "I thought you thought my family didn't do business."
The girl said, "I'm not looking for a businessman."
Qiangqiang said: "Why do you hate businessmen?"
The girl said, "I'll tell you this after I get married."
The mother-in-law and the matchmaker entered the house.Do you agree?Qiangqiang and the girl lowered their heads and smiled.The sun was shining warmly on the village street.The birdsong was clear and hot in the sun, like water flowing from a hot spring.A sister-in-law is coming, Yamei, you just woke up?Most likely, you and Tian Yuan got into the same bed last night.
"Sister-in-law, don't make jokes."
"Cats and dogs are still in February and August, let alone people."
Fifteen years gone.Years there are counted the same as here.said the matchmaker.We all agreed to talk about a wedding day, and you are both in your twenties.The girl said any day would be fine.Strongly say it's up to the milk.婆婆掐着指头说，过完年吧，春暖花开，我们村去班响器，一抬花轿接媳妇，吃了一顿饭，媒人领着姑娘便走了。来时两手空空，走时依然两手空空，从娅梅身边过去时，娅梅把那红纸封礼的钱包塞到姑娘兜里，姑娘瞟她一眼，掏出纸包打开一看，问：“这是啥？”
“钱，够操办婚事的。”
“我们这边用不着这些钱。”
姑娘把钱放在门口的一张凳子上，就像随手掏出几张白纸扔在地上一样。娅梅望着婆婆：“你让她拿上，是我的心意。”
婆婆说：“这边用不上钱的，看钱脏的很呢。”
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看钱脏的很呢。从老屋出来，婆婆又在娅梅耳边说了一次，同一个老嫂戏了几句闲言，娅梅品味着婆婆的话，如同嚼一枚又苦又涩的果子。事情是真的想象不到，经过了那么多的风雨途路，对自己的婚姻审慎再三，最终却还是因钱而从命运场上败下阵来，以致跌得头破血流，连留在都市的兴趣也都没了。总以为，把孩子生降于世，可以捆住男人的手脚，然却忽视了一个问题，即社会已是二十一世纪，不要说男人的思想，早已与传统道德断绝。就连普通的三十岁往下的青年人，虽然成长于上一世纪，可看到与上世纪一些同类的事情，也是觉得那些事情荒唐可笑，当事人简直蠢到无以补加的地步。婆婆先从屋里出来，在门口等了一会娅梅，然后同她一路，穿街而过，朝着台子地上的新房走去。正是吃饭的时候，少不了一路同人寒暄招呼。婆婆说，快些走吧梅子，天元在家等得急了。娅梅说你先回去，我马上到家。
婆婆问：“我对天元说你死心不走了吧。”
娅梅说：“说吧，你要同意，我就死在这儿。”
婆婆说：“你留下他自然也就留了。”
十余年的时间，从一个世纪到了另一个世纪，都市的变化天翻地覆，除了一些政府特意保护的上世纪的建筑痕迹，事实上，很多人连上一世纪的心脏也换成了崭新的一样东西。然而，这乡土社会，还是终于保存了上一世纪的风貌。虽然说，房子都是青堂瓦舍，可摆设、习俗、文化、人心，倒还都是原样。总之，乡村虽然换了一件衣服，可它从肉体到心灵，都还是原样。至少说变化不大，精神的纯洁，依然如故，这就终于替从都市生活中逃出的人们，留下了一巢洞穴。几十年前，初到张家营里，看到村人蹲在门口的石头上吃饭，猪和狗，卧在那饭碗下面，觉得农民的愚昧恍如隔世的原始山民。可是，时势到了如今，社会经济空前发展，连当初刘家涧那偏穷小村，也成了都市模样的大城，回头发现张家营依然故我，这反倒使娅梅有了心灵的慰藉。所有看见娅梅走来的女人，孩娃，都要站将起来，招呼她几句，请她吃一碗自己家常的便饭。男人们不站，但男人们都端着碗说，你在我家吃饭吧娅梅，男人们不站是为了维护男人们的尊严。这里的男人，决然不会如都市的男人那样，一面对女人称呼女士、小姐，显示出西方的文明和对女人的尊敬；另一方面，刚将女士、小姐称呼出口，就在心里盘算这女人、小姐是不是属于主张性解放、标榜人生洒脱的那一类。如果能低三下四地帮女人干点什么，那他在心里，准已将那女人奸了。想着和她上床与别的女人会有什么不同。所以说，看见这儿男人还在竭尽全力地维护男人的尊严，实在地说，也就保护了女人的圣洁。不消谁讲，他们决然做不出新办康华文化公司的经理所做的一类事情。在康华文化公司宣告开业的那天，娅梅知道男人不会回到家里，便通过电话，到银行查了自己的存款。她没想到，男人为办康华文化公司，竟私自动用了她一百八十万元的积蓄。要说，一百八十万元的资金，在钱已不再算钱的新世纪里，并动摇不了娅梅在亚细亚商业大街的经营地位。可这么一笔巨额，他是如何通过出纳取走的，却使她大为疑惑。夜间十时，她找出纳员，又听说出纳去康华文化公司送一样东西，于是她脑里的疑云，更加浓重无比。到夜深人静的十二时，仍不见出纳员回来，便抓起电话，拨了五百块钱买来的豫苑大厦一二○四号房的电话号码：9194677。想不到，话筒里传来的竟是本酒楼出纳员那半是武汉口音、半是河南口音的普通话。
"Who are you looking for?"
“就找你。”
"Who are you?"
“我是亚细亚酒楼的老板，通知你在那儿睡着不要回来了。从现在起，你再也不是亚细亚酒楼的雇员了。你被解雇啦！”
“娅梅大姐，你让我日后怎么生活……”
“你年轻漂亮，可以靠卖淫为业。”
以这个电话为时界，掘开了她命运中的又一个大漏洞。出纳员在电话里僵着不动，呼吸又粗又重。被窝里男人女人热肉的混合气息沿着穿越都市的地下电缆，进入娅梅的房里。片刻之后，男人的声音从那热肉的气息里走将出来。“你怎么知道我住在这儿？！”
“我问你总共动用了我多少资金。”
“不是我，是我们。我们是夫妻！”
那一夜，大约是她返城以后最为痛苦的一夜。独自坐在床边，用手摸着腹里生命的微弱搏动，既不愿哭，也不愿想些什么。忽然对男人爆发的仇恨，使她对肚里的孩子感到一种恶心。明知道丈夫在同别人寻欢作乐，然又奈何不得他。在电话里，她异常坚定地对男人说我们离婚。以为男人会感到她的威胁，没料到男人说离吧，也该离了，康华文化公司已经签了很多合同，我可以在省会成为一个文化名商了。“这就是你苦苦追求我的目的？”
“不是。目的是离婚后你的财产分给我一半。”
“不要脸的东西，你做梦去吧！”
扣下电话，她似乎还从话筒中听到他说我已经找好律师，律师说这能办到。实在是茫然得很。至于离婚，不要说省会一级的大都市，及上海、北京广州等这些国家的超级城市，就是一般中型城市的发达的县城，也视离婚为日常小事。好合好散，是婚礼上的开明祝辞。离婚酒店、分手相馆、天各一方服装社、天南地北礼品店、婚后朋友咖啡厅，在省会也是满街满巷。人们对离婚和情人分手之类的事情，委实懒得说长道短。怎么就知道分手不是一件好事呢？可是，她捂着肚里的孩子时候，从命运场上败下阵来的感觉，便如茫茫大海一样包围着她。那当儿，她漠然地只想飞到人迹不至之处，于是，首先想到的是张家营子，想到的是曾与她相依为命的天元和当初在老虎梁那些同乡上社会唇齿相依的人生岁月。还有她早夭的孩子及如母一样的婆婆。
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满以为，腹中的孩子和亚细亚酒楼，成为她精神和物质的两大支柱，孰料孩子的降生，却是降落于她的都市灾难的更大源泉。在漫长的怀孕过程中，她几次漫步在妇产医院的门口，人们望着年近半百的女人，挺起一个圆鼓凸凸的肚子，仿佛看一种海洋怪物。流产的念头，并不是一次两次地吞噬了她的身心。既然男人和自己的关系早已名存实亡，感情上弹痕累累，沟壑纵横，那也就没有必要为他生下孩子。何况，他一再明确，生不生孩子是你的事情，与我没有关系。第三次走进妇产医院时，已经坐上了从美国进口的人工流产的手术椅，可医生检查了她的身体说，胎位正常，说不定是个男孩。你不觉到有些乱踢乱蹬吗？听了医生的话，她忽然从手术椅上走将下来，脸上凝了一层坚定不移的表情。
“我不做了。”
“怎么啦？做吧，长疼不如短疼。”
“我要把孩子生下来。”
男人对孩子漠不关心，自己就更应该把孩子生将下来。恩爱夫妻的孩子女人只有一半成就，另一半归男人所有。这样破裂的婚姻，一旦有子，孩子将归一人所有，另一人只是孩子的敌人罢了。自己已岁将半百，对男人无可奈何，对都市无能为力。可自己，培养一个孩子至二十周岁，男人已经走近花甲，孩子正热血方刚，于都市、于他的父亲，他都是不可取胜的天敌。不要说孩子是一条性命，毕竟是自己肉体中的一个部分，就仅仅为了替男人生养一个仇敌，大约也不是那种得不偿失之事。怀着这样一种心理，决计要让孩子降生于世，便感到自己并没有输给男人什么。只要在这个世界上能培养一个丈夫的敌人，那丈夫最终的惨败，便是一定了的。如此计算，也就拿定了主意：一是先不和男人办理离婚手续，用名存实亡的关系拖住他，使他并不能彻底洒脱，二是女人怀孕期间，政府部门一般不受理离婚案件，正可以争取时间，寻找得力律师，使丈夫不得从自己名下拿走太多的财产。这样捱过所谓的十月怀胎，丈夫虽然没有回过家里一次宿夜，也没有同哪个女人多么愉快。因为无论哪个女人，无论丈夫换成什么住房，不过三朝两日，那女人就能接到娅梅的电话或者信件，告诉对方，我是康华公司经理的妻子，还没有办理离婚手续，你如果不想成为被告，那就早些同我丈夫脱离关系。有的时候，也许他们正在床上欢天喜地，不是电话铃响，便是有人敲门，拿起电话没人讲话，就那么三五分钟响上一次。索性掐了电话，不久又有人敲门，打开房门一看，这个人影也没有。如此三番五次，闹得那点儿情绪烟飞云散。到了怒火中烧，和情人的烈焰如火如茶，爱不成也分不成时候，男人终于回了一次家。
“我低估你了李娅梅。”
“你回来干啥？回来情人的被窝就冷了。”
“回来给你离婚，满足你的要求。”
“离婚可以，把康华文化公司给我。”
男人当然不会答应。他说，我用一年多的时间给你写信，一年多的星朝天都在碧沙岗等你上钩，为的就是康华文化公司。不答应你就走吧，娅梅说，等我把孩子生下来，孩子将来会替我讨回这笔债的。世纪之初的那年四月，娅梅在亚细亚后街又买了别人一所宅院。因为生意上的失败，闹得经营萧条，精神失意，那宅院的主人丢弃了在郑州的全部产业，到广州寻找重振旗鼓的机会去了。新宅院除了一栋三层小楼，还有很大的一个院落。四月里，院落中盛满了阴谢阳施的风光。红砖院墙上，爬满了从国家首都移植过来爬山虎的藤子。楼前有一棵偌大的葡萄树。葡萄架差不多罩满了一个空院。楼上的大小阳台，都摆着随季节适时而开的花草。红花谢了，紫花开着；紫花谢了，黄花开着。有的时候，红、紫、黄、绿和淡白、淡蓝的花儿会开在同一天里。那当儿，不知从哪儿飞来几只都市少见的蜜蜂，在花架、花盆上叫得满壑满谷。几只麻雀，从都市吵架之中，沿着空降飞将过来，在葡萄架和爬山虎之间穿梭不歇。加上怀里的孩子即将临产，生命如同一只兔子，在她肚里不安分地蹦来跳去。于是，她便坐在正阳的凉台上，感到这次婚姻的失败，算不得什么大事。未来的日子，将会同过去一样，随着孩子的降生，而充满生机，欣欣向荣。甚至在某些时候，面对日光和院落中的景象，偶尔想到前半生在张家营的苦难岁月，也会立刻刹下回忆之车，驱赶着它驶向孩子出生后的行将到来的岁月。再或，明明知道丈夫又换了一个新的住所，正同新的女人忘乎所以地庆祝爱情和刚签的一项合同，也懒得用电话去扰乱一下。随他去吧，她总想，我有孩子，惨败终归于你。用极其大众的说法：最后的微笑才好看，最后的眼泪才痛苦。她将一切，都寄希望于孩子的出生。隔三差五，便用小车将妇产医院的医生接到这新宅里检查一次，或自己到医院检查一次，直到妇产医生对她说，你钱多也不要单往妇产医院送，倒不如提前准备一些孩子出生后的小衣小裤。
这才不去医院了，在家请了两位街道上的老人，专门给孩子缝制衣裤。至五月将尽，到了孩子出生的日子，不说自己多么兴奋，就连提前请来的保姆，也为这事激动得彻夜不眠。为是在家生产，还是到医院生产，直弄得她犹豫不决。在家里条件好、空气好，医生说她不是头胎，到时人家来家接生也就行了，可她又生怕发生意外。最后，决定到妇产医院去。因为床位紧张，又请妇产科的主任到亚细亚酒楼吃了一顿，这才把一个平民产妇赶出医院，将她扶上了人家先住的病床，开始了她人生命运中的又一次劫难。
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老人是先一步回到家的。张老师因为昨夜和刘城女人又一次疯狂的情如雨注，使他辗转反侧，一夜不能成寝，被午时的阳光稍加温暖，也就朦朦胧胧。母亲说天元，娅梅真的不再走了。他说不会。她再也过不惯这乡村生活。她不能回了，母亲说是城市又将她逼了出来。城市逼她？儿子望着母亲的脸问。
“她生意折了，还生了一个死的孩子。那城市逼她出来了。”
母亲的话，仿佛从遥远的山外飘来，然却静心去听她的述说，事情的经过倒青山绿水，分明得还算可以。真也想象不到，在五月将尽的日子，娅梅躺在妇产病房的床上，望着窗外的天空和大厦，她是如何迈过了命运中又一道门槛。孩子出生在五月将尽的一个黄昏之后，下班的人流，在妇产大楼后面，如翻天覆地的一道洪水。她感到一阵剧烈的阵疼以后，便被抬进了急救室里，进行了一系列检查。进去时落日一片，在窗上紧紧贴着，及至检查完了，那些缺少红润的日光，都贴在了医生的脸上。她说我疼得要死了，拉着一个医生的手，我是不是真的要死了？你没事，医生说，主要是孩子。她感到肚子的下部有如千刀万剐，又仿佛有一个人用手一下一下在她肚里揪抓。记得生强强时候，并没有这么疼痛。那时候，在乡村接生婆肮脏的大手掩护下，孩子极其顺利地来到了这个世界上。急救室是二十多平方米的一间大房子，四壁洁白，光秃秃的，如同一个人失去了一切的心房。几样医疗器械放在一张平推车上。她躺在救护床上，用手抓住床沿，上下嘴唇紧紧闭着，如同一定要关死人与地狱的一道通门。她知道自己是不会死的，已经是二十一世纪，万般无奈的剖腹产在上世纪的中期，都已时兴了都市乡村。孩子、孩子当然不能死。孩子是她的未来，是她向丈夫、向世界宣战的唯一武器。she says:
“孩子怎么了？”
“胎位不正，还有点别的问题。”
“不能想点办法？”
“都想过了。”
“万不得以你们剖腹吧，我一定要有一个孩子。”
大约妇产科的医生护士全来了。他们围着主任，临时开了一个小会，商议了一项方案。主任过来问，你丈夫呢？她说我疼死了主任，主任说你丈夫怎么没来？她说我没有丈夫。主任把目光搁在她抽搐不止的肚子上。不要说气话，主任说现在必须有你丈夫在场。她一手抓住急救床，一手抓住主任的手，额门上汗如雨注、她说我丈夫死了，有什么事你给我说主任。门外汽车和人流的声息已渐渐平静，不消说，时间已是夜晚。你年纪大了，主任说我们已经十余年没有护理过四十多岁的女人生孩子。现在问题很多，大人和孩子我们只能保住一个。主任说这番话时，平静而又耐心，就如一个老师在向他的学生耐心地解释一道难题。她望着妇产科主任的那张脸，像望着一湖不知深浅的水。
“我先前生过孩子，我不会有难产。”
“会的，”医生说：“而且不是一般的难产。”
“我死也要把孩子生出来。”
“你死了生出的孩子谁养活？”
主任的话噎得她哑口无言。这是妇产医院，不是亚细亚大酒楼，万事皆由她说了做数。她望着主任脸上那张大白口罩，以为那是浩漫不可企及的天空。于是，眼角有了泪水。继而，突然爆发的又一阵阵疼，随着泪水的流出，乘虚而入，一下传遍了她的全身。就这一瞬之间，她看到了丈夫那张瘦小多诈的脸，在她眼前一闪即逝。她想起了三十岁的时候，她初次怀孕，天元天天守护着她，仿佛守护一盏风中的油灯，生怕那灯光有一闪失。接生婆虽然又脏又丑，可她却和婆婆一道，不停地替她擦汗，说咬着牙你，把嘴唇咬破你就不疼了。那当儿，她只感到疼痛和兴奋各半，在那屋里热烫热烫煮着她。眼下，她生的不仅仅是自己的孩子，还是丈夫的讨债人。生强强的时候，天元在屋里烧水消毒，在床边刨坑以埋下老大头胎的脐带。现在，到了夜里，也许丈夫已经和哪个女人滚在了床上，正播着情欲的暴雨，也许，在哪家豪华舞厅，踩着都市的节拍，一边搂紧新的舞伴，一边正盘算把哪个画家、书法家的字画廉价弄到手里，高价卖给国外的商人。他不知道她正在病房难产。他对此漠不关心。他所期盼的是她同孩子最好一块死于难产之中，然后，他便当然地继承了她的那些财产。他动用了她一百八十万元的存款，在这个城市开设了最大的康华文化公司。可他仍不满足，他想千方百计从婚姻法中寻找一个可乘之机，离婚时分走她一半的财产。她果真把自己的嘴唇咬出了血。医生去她脸上擦汗擦血时，她用手拉近了医生的胳膊，医生歪过头去，把耳朵贴在她的脸上。“该怎么你们怎么吧，我要大人孩子都活着。”
医生直起腰来。
“我们尽力而为。”
一张双层的白布搭在她的脸上，把她和这个世界隔开了，她听见医疗器械碰撞的声音，又冷又硬，叮叮当当挂在她的耳边，如同挂着白白亮亮的几个冰凌条儿。还有脚步声，拖拖拉拉，又异常急速。不消说，医护人员是快步而又脚不离地地走来走去。这时候，她感到了向未有过的孤独。都市的嘈杂声，远处火车的汽笛声，楼后马路上走向夜生活的鼎沸的市民声，这一切都不属于她的，都不能占有她的脑海。倒是十余年前的生活景象：狐狸对她不尊重地动手动脚，天元对她奉若神明的思恩爱爱；黄黄时不时地咬她裤角；强强乘借月光捉迷藏后，在她的唤叫声中贼头贼脑从她身后溜回家里的身影，《欢乐家园》中山虎伴一具女尸睡了三年的图景，卖馄饨时同唐豹同心同德的奋斗……这些往事，温暖如春地占有了她的全部身心。还有婆婆，婆婆此时把她引到了另一世界的学校门口，目送着强强走进了一座半庙半寺的学校。又引她到一家不大不小的百货商店，一家坐落村头的饭馆。在商店婆婆说，需要什么你就拿吧。她说我没带钱，婆婆说在这边买东西不要钱的，你只要说句你们这边比那边人世好也就行了。在饭馆她们刚刚坐下，服务员就把饭菜端了上来。用过饭菜，婆婆走到那开馆的主人面前，她以为婆婆是去付钱，谁知婆婆对人家说，我引着我儿媳到这边看看。那主人说，多引她走些地方，让她把两边好好比比。就很热情送她们出了饭馆。站在饭馆门口，婆婆说这边好吧？她说果真是好，至少没有像我现在这个丈夫那样的人。烦了你就过来吧，婆婆说，不过来到张家营生活也比省会好……
生完孩子，从昏迷中醒来已是深夜一点多钟。都市的繁闹，好不容易有了片刻安静。她睁开眼睛，第一眼看到的是输液的瓶子，感到肚子又瘪又塌，如泄了气的一个大气球。一个护士朝她走来，说你不睡了？她望着护士那张平平淡淡的脸问：“我生了？男孩女孩？”
护士说：
“男孩，六斤半。剖腹产。可他死了。采取的是保大人不要孩子的办法。你年纪大了，不适宜怀孕，不能生了。大家忙到现在才都回去。”
孩子终于没能生存下来，在这偌大的都市里，娅梅仍是子然一身，无论抗争或者奋斗，简或从人生的战场上撤退，她都将是孤立无援，命败于都市化的人生之中。
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如果仅此也就罢了，说到底还是那句，一失足成千古之恨。料不到的事情是，娅梅从妇产医院回到藤萝缠绕的新宅，本想在六月的夏天，宁可亚细亚酒楼少赚一些，自己也越好好歇息将养一番，所以一连几天不往酒楼里去。到了一日午后，在家心烦意乱，信步到酒楼一看，上中下三层客厅，空调、电扇都在工作，客人却寥寥无几，少得可怜。照说，置炎热的夏季，吃喝的人少些当是常事。但一楼的冷饮大厅，不说应该满座，十成有客七八，应是该的。然而，客人却也是寥若晨星。走到服务台里去，蝇子在服务小姐的头上旋转盘飞，服务小姐却睡得十分香熟。沿街过的汽车喇叭，大吹大擂，声动山河，惊破了全市的午休，唯一不能惊醒服务小姐的美梦。见此番情景，少不了一场大动肝火，差一点把姑奶奶三个粗字写在脸上。叫来临时负责的指派经理一问，才知道她在住院期间，男人来酒楼四次，均是以她的名义，不仅调走了几位精明强干的漂亮小姐，而且又从帐户上取走了十万元现金。问说没有我的签字，谁也不能去银行取钱，为何钱就取走了呢？新换的出纳取出取款凭据，说本来就有你的手章和签字。凭据自然是银行中统一实行浅黄色薄纸。娅梅接过那薄薄一纸，左审右查，对着灯光细看，才发现那签字除了李娅梅的娅旁女字，和自己通常签字的娅旁女字相比，稍稍瘦了一点，实在找不出二样。其余各样印章，难以挑剔差错。至此，娅梅才终于明白，乘自己离开酒楼之机，从帐上取走一批款子，是男人蓄谋已久的精心安排。无论那笔迹的模仿，还是各类印章的重新刻印，都周全老道，滴水不漏。从各个方面去讲，同光明大商场的老板唐豹比较，这位合法