Chapter 65 The Hollow Horror—Liang Refuses to Live the Life and the Life Confirmed by Refusal

——Interpretation of "Rejection" What we read is actually a process of art production and the relationship between the two contradictory parties of the eternal duality. At an inconceivable distance from our little town lies the capital of the Empire.This capital is incomprehensible to those of us in small towns, and just imagining the distance between us and it will make people dizzy.The fact is, the decree was drawn up in that distant place, and then imposed on us through its appointed executor, the Colonel.Our small city is well-ordered, and the residents silently obey the orders from the capital, and no one cares about things other than their own.What kind of person is the Colonel?Outwardly, he is the tax collector, the one who takes everything; but he is not a tyrant, but a supreme official determined by a mysterious tradition, and to obey him is to obey that tradition.He is an authority in law enforcement, but he also understands the lives of our citizens best.It seems that the high officials of the empire have concretized what is unthinkable to us citizens, they have made the law into a man, a colonel to be admired.Because of the colonel's absolute loyalty, the empire was very reassured of him.Because of the Colonel's dual status as "one man and one god", he didn't feel the need to overemphasize his status when he lived among us-he knew our needs all too well.In this way, the Colonel lived a life of denial in our little town.On the one hand, he takes everything from people and rejects all petitions from people; on the other hand, he himself spends a long time with this serious and rigid work.This way of living by refusing to live had for a long time consumed a great deal of the Colonel's energy.Whenever petitions and ceremonies came, he breathed like a frog; he was so unbearable for the inferiority of people that he had to insist on standing on the balcony and performing this ugly scene until he collapsed exhausted on the armchair.Over the years this torture has been repeated.It would be wrong to say that the Colonel was only tired of petitions, or that he hated petitions and wished they hadn't happened. There was another side to the matter.No matter when, the colonel always stood upright during the ceremony, holding two juxtaposed bamboo poles in his hands, with complete emptiness behind him, and the scene was very solemn.He is the insurmountable wall of this world.And the meaning of his life must lie in this petition ceremony.Only people's overwhelming petitions, stammering speeches, and trembling humility fully reflect his authority and his function as a wall.So he had a devilish pleasure while being tormented, which was perhaps the real essence of his feelings.So the humble little desires of the citizens are the motivation for the colonel to live to return to that pleasure.

So what exactly is a colonel?He is the artist's artistic self, he embodies the highest principles of art, and his life is nourished by the existential petitions of vulgar townspeople.In order to avoid falling into the void behind him, he must blend in with the citizens who crowded around him; and to rule his citizens, he must stand on the final boundary of the void.This is the meaning of the two bamboo poles he holds in his hand—the law supports him, and he also supports the law; here he represents both the citizens and the law.The two bamboo poles can only stand upright and fall down at the same time.

The citizens embody the tenacious vitality of the artist.Though humble and vulgar, though humiliation and failure could be their only life, these strange beings never thought of giving up one life for another.On the contrary, without the colonel's refusal, the townspeople would not be able to survive.The purpose of their life is to participate in this ritual of rejection again and again; refreshed and serious, they are never disappointed or tired of this same ritual, but find inspiration in it and support them to continue living .So the Colonel's refusals are repeated tests of Fa's life.Of course, this test is not a formality, but a summary of each stage of life development, even if it is a negative summary.In denial both Dhamma and life are endowed with an eternal quality.Of course, being rejected will inevitably breed dissatisfaction. Dissatisfaction and resistance are the signs of a person's life; but dissatisfaction is limited to private or daily life. Once you go to the balcony to petition, this dissatisfaction will disappear in detachment. Then the petition was rejected, and new grievances arose.From this point of view, the most incomprehensible is these citizens.Why is it that once you attach your life to this ritual, it's like taking drugs and getting pain?How infinite is this boring ceremony to them.What about the beauty that outsiders can't comprehend but only themselves are mesmerized by?It seems that their enthusiasm has never been exhausted for a day, and they are always secretly planning, busy, and electing their own delegation.The balcony seems to be the ladder for them to go to heaven to listen to the imperial decree, but they are not very interested in the things in heaven, and their interest is focused on everything that happens on the balcony.All this made their blood boil, and then made them gain strength from that powerful inertia, brewing a new round of petitions.Through the ceremony, they saw their own insignificance; through the ceremony, their souls were combined with the colonel, so they experienced the incomparably pure void behind the colonel.We can say that it is because of them, these people who are restless day and night, that the world is the world and the void is established.And the colonel himself, wasn't he selected from among them?Where else could it come from?The fact that the colonel came from the capital is just a myth that cannot be proved (because no one can prove where the capital is), or it can be said to be the mysterious traditional belief.After the people in the whimsical town saw the colonel's wall at the end of the world, all worldly efforts stopped in front of this wall; but it didn't really stop, but just performed a scene of stop.

What kind of place is the balcony where the ritual of rejection is performed?The balcony is located above the market square, which seems to have an absolute boundary with the square below, and seems to be high above.But often inadvertently, the boundaries are broken.For the balconies are too attractive for squares, and the squares are too attractive for balconies.So the children on the balconies poke their heads out between the railings and quarrel with the children below; and the townspeople, when their curiosity is heightened, crowd into the balconies, occupying three-quarters of the space.This description brings us back to the previous metaphor of mutual support, and draws the conclusion that the balcony and the market square are a whole, and the colonel and the citizens are inseparable.The balconies are really interesting; especially the mysterious soldiers, their distinctive and frightening appearance, their taciturn, stubborn, inaccessible characters, are both frightening and repulsive.These eccentrics, though small and not strong, were actually a powerful deterrent to us shallow and active townspeople.This, of course, has something to do with their coming from nowhere and now belonging to the colonel on the balcony.Who are they?They are the colonel's defenders, the kind of people we mortals cannot keep our eyes on for long, lest we be bewitched.Judging from the appearance of their eyes and teeth, people must have a somewhat "deja vu" feeling.These aliens, which are not usually seen, only come to the balcony during petitions, and become a solemn scene on the balcony.Obviously, although they did not speak, they also denied the petition, so everyone was so afraid of their stares.The balcony is the stage of the show; on it, the wishes of the citizens for life are denied again and again through ceremonies presided over by colonels, soldiers, and officials.And both sides understand that this scene is a confirmation of their life.

November 20, 1998, Yingcai Garden