Chapter 66 Hollow Terror—The Unattainable Proof: An Eternal Source of Pain in Creation

——Interpretation of "A Study of a Dog" The "I" in the text—a special individual with a skeptical spirit and restlessness The dog in the air and the structure of music—the embodiment of irrationality and poetry The general dog—the embodiment of rational or scientific principles Dogs—the spirit Embodying Animals in General - Social Behavior land - reality The Beautiful Hound - Death or Angel of Heaven Planing the ground - daily experience Mantras and Songs - Sublimation of Art In the barren and vast world, there are a large number of special animals-dogs.Dogs, by virtue of their unique existence, have made innumerable rules, chief among them is the answer to the biggest question in their hearts, and the knowledge about it is kept in strict silence. Passed down from generation to generation, it has become their nature.So we see some dogs whose dignified appearance cannot hide the torment of fatal contradictions in their hearts. spent in silence.

There are exceptions to everything, and among dogs there are some extremely restless fellows, who are melancholy, sensitive, worrying, and self-aware; They don't hesitate to spend a lifetime of time and energy to get to the bottom of it; even if they suffer shameful failures time and time again, they still refuse to give up when they face the iron wall again and again; their self-recovery ability is also amazing. .The "I" in the article is one of these dogs. "I" is a member of the dog group, with all the characteristics of dogs, but I don't want to accept my fate like ordinary dogs, and I don't want to abide by the rules in silence for the rest of my life. "I" was abnormal in nature and full of energy. In my early years, I ran around like a demon and asked everyone I met; then I discovered a miracle-seven dogs performing in weird and scary music.Those dog performances completely violated the rules of science and the dog's natural instincts to obey the rules, and therefore seemed incredible to dogs.Their music, too, defied common sense and habit, yet possessed an overwhelming, deadly force.This science-defying performance is not superficial and messy, but has iron-like internal laws, which deeply moved "I" with a convincing overall consistency. "I" realized in pain that miracles, and only miracles, are directly related to the answers to my inner doubts. "I" has since changed my whole life and immersed myself in the research of miracles.

What kind of dog is "I"? "I" is the incarnation of doubt, not interested in other animals, and blindly obsessed with the world of dogs; everything "I" cares about is related to the fate of dogs, and miracles are the key to determine the fate of dogs; "I" In order to unravel the mystery of the dog's fate, he formed a way of living for miracles and making miracles by himself. The highest principle of happiness for dogs is unity; miracles destroy unity, often to the point of destroying the principle. "I" further discovered the gap or crack in the principle, determined to break out from this gap, study things beyond the law or principle, and find another way to approach the ultimate mystery. The research of "I" did not bring happiness and peace to "I"; on the contrary, a series of devastating disasters fell on "I", the inner contradictions deepened day by day, and the sense of emptiness was like the music rising from the valley of death ;Desperation leads to "I" having no other way to go, only to carry on the experiment of simulating death again and again until the end of life.This is the fate of "I", and it is also the fate of dogs.As an individual, the experience of "I" is special; but besides the rebellious nature of "I", there is also the commonality of that kind of dog that makes "I" embarrassed. "I" is committed to the verification of beauty, has experienced unbearable pain, but never yields and submits.In this way, "I" deepened my understanding of death step by step, and enriched the principles of science step by step. The great goal seemed to be right in front of me, and life was rich and full of meaning.However, the other side of "I" is always using doubts to destroy my achievements; "I" cannot verify everything "I" has done; no longer exists.The most painful thing is that "I" must seek confirmation, and this "must" cannot be defied.

Narration through the life trajectory of "I"—discovering miracles (encounter with the seven dogs playing music)—telling miracles (running around to compatriots to describe the scene at that time)—studying miracles (discussing the dog of music and the dog in the air) Dog research)—confirming miracles (doing experiments to confirm the origin of food)—creating miracles (hunting strike and meeting a beautiful hunting dog at the end of the hunger strike), readers are brought step by step into the passionate world of "I". "I" shows the reader the real existence of the logically impossible with a convincing feeling; from this feeling, the reader can see the powerful force of the irrational creation of something out of nothing, and this creation Due to the eternal pain of being gripped by reason and unable to escape. "I" is unruly, obsessed with my own whims, and as long as I have a breath, I will put the experiment that was conceived out of thin air into action.

Rationality is also a gift of "I", and it is a part of personality, so "I" does not despise science, but is full of respect for science, and uses science to measure every move. "I" intuitively feel that the more science develops, the more clearly the mystery of death will stand out, and the more terrifying it will be; there is also the ubiquitous void that will destroy everything, and the unspeakable under the weight of history. The truth that has been revealed, the freedom that has disappeared forever; none of these can be reassured by the existing scientific explanations. "I" must use individual creation and re-verification to add content to science; this creation will bring about the birth of a new scientific rationality—a more free science.Looking at the pursuit process of "I", readers can not only see the power of the instinct of "jumping over the wall in a hurry", but also see the decisive role of reason. "I" is aware of this part of my nature in comparison with other dogs, in the silence of the entire dog world; so all pain comes from the fundamental contradiction in my heart, which cannot be separated even in successful happiness. They eliminate.

Awareness of ultimate truths (beauty, death) begins with that strange, powerful music full of a sense of nothingness.How terrified was the "I" of puppyhood when it first discovered this repulsive, dissonant forte in childlike nature!This heretical music and the heretical performance of the seven dogs who played the music prompted "I" to end my childhood very soon, and then fell into the fate of confronting that fatal problem single-handedly.This question is "What is death?" or "What is spirit?" Such a huge and heavy question, of course, cannot be answered by a weak individual; There is no final answer, but only a process; and this process is poison (the poison of the sense of emptiness to the nerves), which is achieved through the creation of each individual to fight against death alone (that is, to do experiments).It may seem frustrating, a game of self-deception, but self-deception is in the nature of dogs. "I" felt about that experiment: doubt, loneliness, despair, fear, and of course the illusion of happiness that came unconsciously.This is everything in the confrontation process, it seems very unworthy, but "I" chose it.What role does silence play in the process?Silence is a hesitation towards nothingness, in which the understanding and unwilling affirmation of life are implied.As long as dogs exist, the silence will continue, and the individual's attachment to life will never stop.Who can grasp the truth?The dog's ancestors couldn't do it, and today's dog can't do it, and it's more difficult than ever.They seem to be procrastinating for time by asking questions, muddling along; but as long as they go deep into their questions, you can feel how their hearts are trembling for the truth, and the pain of being unable to reach the truth.In the early years, the truth was readily available, and the ancestors were too naive to lose the opportunity; today's dogs seem to have insight into everything, but because of this insight, they have lost the ability to obtain the truth.All that was left was silence.Silence is the most noble quality inherited by dogs. It shows the broad mind and bravery of dogs.Dogs experience the existence of that transcendental ideal and the inevitability of self-deception in silence.No matter how "I" shouts, "I" will always be silent about the answer to the question in my heart.And the edifice of reason is built on the basis of silence.

The question of what dogs do for a living For this question that all dogs can bear, the answer can only be found from the dogs themselves.What the dog does is answer with an unverifiable course of action: do your best.If you can water it with your own urine, food will appear on the land, and this food will keep you alive.All science can only add details to it, and beyond that there is only uncertainty and nothingness.Not only the answer cannot be verified, but also the food cannot be shared with other individuals, because it is the endowment of creativity (watering ability), which is determined by the degree of hunger.

The question of where the land gets its food from This question of origin is equally unverifiable and can only be faced with silence.The principles of science can do nothing about it, and imaginary answers threaten to destroy the edifice of reason hitherto erected. "I" gave up the futile effort to answer positively, and started the pursuit of getting closer to the core in a roundabout way—eliminating all interference through experiments to achieve the clarity I desire. The experiments begin with the most basic distinctions—digging and spells.The former resembles everyday experience, and the latter symbolizes the sublimation of fantasy. "I" has made a series of efforts in an attempt to prove the effects of the two, but the difference is so slight that it can be ignored, because the two are originally you in me and me in you.As for the secret interest of "I" (wanting to prove that food is produced out of nothing), the earth does not give any hint. "I" was not discouraged, the experiment itself stimulated the imagination of "I"; "I" persevered persistently, and finally created an example of food slashing down, that is, an example of food following hunger.This example only partially shows that hunger is the source of food production.However, due to the limitations of the experimental conditions ("I" can't wait to swallow the food before it is fully confirmed, the satisfaction of this substance stops the experience), and due to the scientific and rational norms (the slash still belongs to the land attracting food a way), the fruits of victory were quickly dispelled. "Looking" is now at a loss; with all the enthusiasm, "I" still refuses to admit defeat, but becomes more unscrupulous and free-spirited, and even embarks on a terrible career: to prove the freedom of creation with utter hunger (i.e. prove that food is produced from nothing), and approach the ultimate goal alone in the wilderness far from disturbance.In the end, "I" was feeble and exhausted, but my heart trembled at the proximity of the great truth, and my body gained new strength.My experiment did not achieve the expected goal (that is, confirmation); but "I" used "I" actions, "my" body and blood, and the real experience of "finding" showed that miracles existed—— It resides in that unattainable, passionate fantasy, and the narrow and only path to miracles is through fasting.After this momentous experiment, although where exactly the food came from remains a mystery, the reader may gain some insight into the mysterious fact that "I" gained energy and regained vigor.What is an experiment?The experiment is to mobilize the brute force of irrationality, and fight against the ubiquitous and overwhelming silence, and against the iron rules.The moving song that rang out from the beautiful hound's chest towards the end of the experiment was such a song of irrational creation.

The supervision of rationality over irrationality, and the transcendence of irrationality over rationality Rational knowledge is always accompanied by the experimental process of "I", which makes "I" ashamed, embarrassed, depressed, and desperate, and it uses countless rules and demonstrations to make it difficult for "I" to move forward.However, it is something "I" cannot and will not abandon; without it, "I" cannot conduct experiments.Even if there is a dim awareness of the futility of all efforts, even if the final results are still included in the dry category of reason, the desire to experiment on the road to death (the purest beauty) is still irresistible; the prohibition of the wise does not shake in the slightest" "I" will, just because the pain of hunger strike contains infinite temptation, just because the pursuit of ultimate beauty is the nature of dogs.So a new round of rise began again.

Reason exists in every dog.In dogs in general it manifests as silence (understanding of ultimate truth and one's own situation), abiding by rules (acting logically); in dogs of music and dogs of the air it manifests as hidden hesitation, shame, and a lack of confidence in one's own way of being. confession. "I" is a combination of rational and irrational. "I" is selfless in the experiment, but it has never reached the level of complete selflessness. There is always a part of the nature of "I" that is vigilant, judging, and excludes all interference to ensure the purity of the experiment. "I'd never give up the sleep I love, choose a young branch as a sleeping bed, and keep a high degree of vigilance at all times in the sound of breaking branches. This part of "I" nature does not prevent "I" from The deviant fantasy, on the contrary, contributed to the realization of this fantasy in the most transparent environment, although it was then regulated. The process of standardization-transcendence-re-regulation-re-transcendence is very similar to "the height of the road is one foot, and the height of the magic In the puppy age, "I" grew up under the care of my compatriots (rational), which was a kind of silent and seemingly rude care. At the same time, "I" also developed a rebellious character. Arise. Rebellion leads to encounters with miracles, and also to aversion to fellow men; nevertheless, "I" cannot be separated from fellow men at any moment, but on the contrary, "I" must be recognized and confirmed by them. "I Asking again and again, asking for opinions again and again, "I" was restless and out of breath, and my compatriots were still unpredictable, indifferent, and even sang. "I" was disillusioned with my compatriots, and I left the group to go to the Lonely life, to carry out a desperate career, the result of the experiment is that "I" returns to the fellow-men again. The process of finding comrades (dogs who think the same as me) is the process of searching for rational confirmation, which will never be found (find I can't even recognize it), always looking for it.

hunger Hunger is a desire for emptiness, perfection and purity, and the carrier of hunger is the body.In a hunger strike hunger and body become one.Finally, the body disappears, leaving only hunger, and the artistic conception of beauty comes. Food is alluring because of hunger.But contentment is also the nature of dogs, and contentment hinders the purity of experience; once satisfied, food no longer has torque.The only way to experience the ultimate charm of food is to go on a hunger strike.The hunger strike has reached the final stage, and there is nothing to eat on the earth; this stage is an aesthetic stage, and all food on the ground will make "I" sick; "I" tries to achieve The final abstract beauty. dog's attitude towards life Their attitude towards life is always contradictory, deeply guilty, thinking that it is an insurmountable obstacle to the truth, it is rubbish; at the same time, it is obsessed, clinging to its meaning by playing music and doing experiments, even by being silent. beauty.Who can escape from his own nature?There has never been such an example in history.With the development of life, dog nature also develops; dog nature is not only the understanding and pursuit of beauty, but also dissolute, shallow and repelling beauty.Then go back to the ancestors, to the place where life originated and where truth happened.But the starting point in ancient times is only a fiction.Everyone knows that the truth is gradually formed due to the development of the dog's nature. Without development, there would be no truth today.The truth in ancient times did not exist, it was integrated with nature and had not yet formed independently; the development of dog nature stripped away the truth on the one hand, and on the other hand made dogs burdened by their own nature, and could no longer reach it .Today's truth has been buried deep and deep under the rubbish, and vain digging only makes it sink deeper, and only an increasingly sensitive sense of smell smells its existence again and again. The dogs of music are paradoxical, they perform almost desperately tormented by guilt (from naked bodies?), they tremble with every step; voices, but turned their childishness and hesitation into a meticulous rhythm.They were ordinary dogs, always ashamed of their inferiority, and it was music from heaven that turned them into masters of magic. A dog in the air is farther from life than a dog in music.Their limbs are atrophied, and they can't perform with body movements at all; the only thing they can do is lie on the high-altitude mat and talk nonsense; way, but also for the meaninglessness of its own existence.That being the case, logically there is no need for the dog in the sky to exist, and it's better for it to disappear by itself.The fact is that the dogs in the air have not only not disappeared, but have also increased and developed due to mysterious reasons.Are dogs in the air really meaningless?Are they out of life?If you listen closely to them, you will find that all they talk about is about the dogs on the ground; all they can't forget is the dogs on the ground, and their relationship with the dogs on the ground now, And the significance of their existence and development lies in this relationship. Experimental examples are even clearer. Out of abandonment of life, "I" peeled off the shell layer by layer, and completed a complete degeneration in the wilderness. This degeneration is both abandonment and rebirth, and life thus obtains new energy.This cycle goes on and on, never ending. sense of nothingness From the first day of awareness of death, dogs have been tormented and seduced by a sense of nothingness.The general way for dogs to deal with this problem is silence, the way for dogs of music is to play, the way for dogs in the air is to chatter, and the way for "I" is to do experiments.The sense of emptiness is not only poison, poisoning the nerves of every dog, but also has infinite torque, luring every dog ​​to track it and obtain it.It is the noble marrow in the bones; it is the solemn melody in the music performance; it is the cloud-like height of the dog in the air; it is also the pure artistic conception of the final stage of the hunger strike.The sense of nothingness oppresses the dog with the power of all-inclusiveness; the dog is obsessed with life, and uses a thousand times of forgetting and a thousand times of performance to reach a compromise with it.Forgetting and acting are based on a deep awareness of it.Therefore, the silence of the dogs has a tragic nature, and the dogs become the victims of the great life.Who can completely overcome the sense of nothingness?Any victory is temporary, it is exclusion in tolerance and forgetting in remembering.Only dogs have the strength to take on all this. When the beautiful hound is about to drive "me" from the frontier of nothingness, the dramatic conversation is about that.The Hound tells "I": "What I've got to do, and what I've been doing, is to experience nothingness as long as I've lived, but I'll never be able to achieve nothingness. Filled with the last of this experience Singing from the state of unconsciousness, the voice of the lobby independent of the will floats to the hunger strikers as a reward for the labor of "I". It seems to be a false comfort, but it injects reality into the body of "I" The vitality. The discussion between "I" and the hound about the understanding of death stopped at that wonderful moment. "I" ran away from the border. Weapons Against Nothingness: Legacy and Questions Dogs have been associated with oblivion since their inception.Forgetting makes them turn a blind eye to the ultimate problem, become intoxicated in the secular life, and follow the lost path of their ancestors.Forgetting seems to dispel the meaning of scientific progress and hinder the realization of truth, so science has become a pity development process-generation after generation of dogs grow old and die, the truth is still very far away, maybe even more far away.In this smoky reality, who can maintain an eternal memory?Sinking, the hopeless eternal sinking of generations.Forgetting is also a magic weapon, which makes dogs survive with unparalleled perseverance.Doesn't truth depend precisely on the dog's survival?This is the hope contained in despair.Asking questions is also a mode of forgetting; asking questions temporarily relieves the pain of confronting the answer, making time more bearable.So dogs do not reject questions, they are always asking questions; those questions are all thrown into the air, without seeking answers.This state of affairs does not at all diminish the value of their question, it is just that the value cannot be proven.So when "I" asks my compatriots questions, although they don't answer, they still encourage "I".In this friendly group, "I" once again realized that "I" only care about dogs and nothing else; in this boundless world, "I" can only turn to Ju to find the answer.The dog itself holds all the knowledge, the keys to all the answers.But because of the nature of my fellow man, that fundamental, unbreakable principle, "I" was defeated. "I" cannot turn to myself, because the nature of my fellow man is also the nature of "I", and "I" also does not recognize its own knowledge, nor can it give the answer.The only difference is that "I" was fascinated by the way of asking questions, kept going deep into the inside, changing angles, drilled down to the end, lingering, forgetting the original intention of asking questions, blindly being picky about the details, and striving for the perfection of the way.This is "my" way of life, a way of life that is difficult for other dogs to understand: knowing that there is no answer, but still obsessed with details, and spends all my energy in the details.Although other dogs don't understand "I", they still love "I" and encourage "I", because "I"'s questions also relieve their pain. Confirm the failure of the operation "I" wants to prove the truth, that is, the value of my own particular way of life. "I" asks the music dog, asks the neighbors, and gets only ambiguous answers and silence.The only real gain is that "I" experience something that "I" is fascinated by from the performance of my compatriots, from their noble temperament. The experience of "I" tells "I" that the answer lies in this kind of thing, but it cannot be said, it can only be experienced.And the ultimate experience can only be realized in solitude.Until the end "I" did not give up the attempt to verify, and suffered from this attempt; meanwhile, the attempt was drowned in the richness of experience.Who can tell whether the process or the ultimate goal is more important?The attempt at validation may have failed, but wasn't the experience itself a glorious success?How unfortunate dogs are, what burdens they carry, what twists and turns and dark hearts they have!And how fortunate are the dogs that the Creator has chosen them among thousands of animal species to undertake the work of that experience, which is all the more fearless and glorious because of its short life. words Words were originally used to speak truth.In ancient times, the truth was so close, it seemed to be on the tip of every dog's tongue, and the possibility of telling the truth was much greater than today.But the dogs soon discovered that the truth simply cannot be told.This discovery makes them try harder to speak, in order to get closer to the truth.Talking (questioning) is the nature of the dog, the way of life of the dog; generations of dogs have changed the form of asking, and the result is that the words are farther and farther from the truth, and the possibility is lost forever.So is it impossible to approach the truth?Dogs can still experience the truth, but due to the development of dog society, this experience is more and more difficult and the way is more and more incredible; and even the best experience, once spoken, deviates from its original meaning and begins to run counter to process, so it needs to be enriched with new experiences.The difference between modern dogs and ancient dogs is that their sense of smell has become more and more sensitive.Modern dogs can smell the scent of bones under the garbage through the piles of garbage, and this scent arouses their endless imagination of the beautiful poison-bone marrow.So they use various names to name this bone marrow, anesthetize themselves in encounters, to pass the time without truth (such as my question).Because of the separation of words from truth, all dogs endure this condition with silence on the ultimate question.Silence contains truths that cannot be spoken.The dog in the air sighs because of this unspeakable pain, and "I" asks questions because of the same pain.In this respect, silence is richer and more meaningful than speaking.But the truth can only be expressed in the form of speaking; if the truth contained in the silence is not spoken, it means that it does not exist to other dogs, and the attitude of other dogs is what "I" cares most about.The words spoken are so poor, pale, and far-fetched!But dogs have no other form of expression for truth than this, but lift up this hateful form, and ask the question a thousand times over, expecting no answer at all. .This is the dog, whose problems disappear in the sea of ​​silence, still chattering unwillingly, insisting on expressing meaning in meaningless words.Their stubbornness has refreshed and created words again and again, endowing them with imaginary meanings, and making them survive with them until today. get lost History is a process of getting lost, neither a group of dogs nor a special individual can get rid of this process, the nature of a dog determines its fate to be lost.So condemnation is useless, there is only acknowledgment of this reality, acceptance of this reality, without yielding to it (submission would lead to loss of truth). "My" life has set such an example.In the messy real life, the transcendental ideal in my heart is like a lamp shining in the thick fog ahead, prompting "I" to rush there recklessly. The life of "I" is the clarity in the lost, the firmness in the bewilderment.It may be said that the lamp is the imagination of "I", but it is by no means a whim, because the lamp has existed since the day "I" was born-but it cannot be proved.Otherwise, how could "I" meet a miracle?How to find a gap in the wall to break out from the lost realm? The old neighborhood dog that smells of death is a prime example of this. "I" has experienced its understanding of loss from it during the long-term relationship with it.The old dog's demeanor is calm and tolerant, with a keen eye that sees everything. "I" deeply understands all this, and also admires the old dog's wisdom.But all these angered "I", "I" didn't want to be silent, didn't want to stay in the dog pack and experience silently with everyone, but wanted to get out of the team and do some ingenious research. A dog who lived to old age wrote such a report, in which he made a detailed record of the research he had engaged in throughout his life.After careful discussion, it can be found that this report did not explain the final conclusion of the research-although that was "my" original intention.The conclusion is nothing but a muddled account; what is hyped up and described in the article is only the process, the process of pain, contradiction, and imitation, the process of struggling to break through, wishful thinking, and making something out of nothing, in addition to the process, it is still a process; conclusion (confirmation of truth) Forever veiled, unattainable, experienced only hypothetically.Isn't the dog class already at the end of its rope?A pessimistic view might be so.But in this vast and desolate land, who else, except dogs, can experience the truth and prove the truth through unremitting efforts from generation to generation?There are only dogs, animals that have become associated with truth.The key to salvation lies in the dog, and the way of salvation can only be determined by the dog.Dogs enrich their experience of truth with their creations, which is their unique privilege from other animals.While they obtain great joy and great happiness, they must also endure great fear and great despair.It is difficult to say who prevailed in this fatal contradiction of their temperaments, and yet produced this report of hopeless hope, a report without a final conclusion.Dogs have always lived like this, and will live like this; they believe in it as firmly as they believe in the truth they have been seeking all their lives.Why be overly pessimistic and be overwhelmed by that pessimism?Please believe that every dog ​​has a strong constitution endowed by God to bear its own tragedy of character. The Old Dog's Report is a cry of freedom to the world, and as ridiculous as it is, weak against the all-powerful dog system, it is sincere.It tells us in its report that no matter how difficult it is, perhaps so difficult as to stake your life, freedom is still possible.Those examples are true, the truth of blood and tears.We see that the circle of freedom has been woven as small as a coffin; the conditions of the experiment are pitiful and absurd, and there are disturbances everywhere, above the head, under the feet, behind the body, in the imagination; disturbances are everywhere, the poor dog trembles, And get rid of the biggest distraction—your own skin.How ridiculous all this is, like a clam wanting to eat swan meat.Yet incredible experiments were carried out and recorded.Anyone who hasn't been ashamed, with a deep dream of freedom in a world full of rubbish and impassable, read this report.Don't expect it to reassure you, though; on the contrary, it may give you an urge to take risks, which may get you bruised.The effect that such a telling, honest report has on the reader is unpredictable. May 7, 1998, Yingcai Garden