Chapter 64 Empty Terror—The Judgment of Conscience

- Interpretation Similarly, this work touches on the issue of conscience.But the form adopted here is more advanced than that one, the boundary is broken, and the cold and severe truth is directly revealed. The old, decadent, and crumbling father tortured by reality is the embodiment of the artist's inner conscience.People are usually overwhelmed by everyday reality, their scarred souls sinking from the garbage to unseen depths.The artist is no exception in this point, but the image of the soul is even more terrifying, not only riddled with holes, but also emits a strange smell of corpse water in the coffin.Another thing that is different from ordinary people is that the soul of an artist will often surface in the underworld to inspect the messy and unsightly reality, break down the support of survival, and let out that sinister and malicious laugh.The father who is the embodiment of conscience is so strong and powerful, every blow hits Georg (everyday self) where he is, and effortlessly takes away the fabric of lies that he lives on. grounds that do not stand up to analysis.Such an unheard of war, launched directly from the source, was indeed fatal to Georg, a sensitive man addicted to self-analysis.When the result of the analysis proved that he was nothing but a downright despicable person, what else could he do but die?My father was irascible yet calm, neurotic and strangely rational.He reminded Georg repeatedly in this contest not to cover him, he hadn't been fully covered yet. His words are terrifying. This devil who emerged from the underworld came to demand blood debt from Georg. He wrote down all the despicable things Georg did in peace of mind or panic. He came down, nothing was left out. He has been waiting for the time to rectify, everything that has been done must be rectified, before the time just came. In front of the father, worldly defense is useless, and there is no way around it, Lies would be pointed out by him, reasons for living would be smashed to pieces roughly. The mere "Do you really have such a friend in Petersburg" aroused all Georg's guilt.He had proved to Georg that no matter how deep or how long he had been buried, he could rise to the surface at any time to fight the battle.But how horrible and cruel all this is!Didn't we hear the sound of chewing bones?Of course, it was the spell of art that summoned this ghost from the underworld to carry out this fratricidal war.

At the beginning of the article, Georg wrote a perfunctory letter full of lies to a friend far away in Russia with deep sympathy and dilemma.The more he wrote, the more he felt that there was nothing else to write but lies, because the truth would hurt this friend, and Georg was a very sensitive person (in the words of his future bride a man who should never have married).But he finally finished writing the letter according to the routine, and took the letter into his father's room, which he hadn't visited for several months.The father's preface was extremely dark, and the tired old man sat there calmly, his eyes shining with insight.Georg, who had just been a little relaxed after finishing the letter, immediately showed hesitation and tension in front of him, because his father's thoughts and intentions were unpredictable.The old man who survived the catastrophe doesn't like to talk.He is aggressive and only talks about the truth.His words struck Georg like a wake-up call.Georg begins to defend himself (actually, defends his existence).His reasons were so trivial, flimsy, and equally full of lies.And the father, the old man on the verge of the grave, suddenly became extremely powerful, extremely eloquent, and showed Georg ominous signs in a strange way-playing with the watch chain on his chest.Georg, who is very emotionally layered, immediately felt that the omen was coming;Standing there, he felt everything the old man said, even though he unscrupulously exposed his crimes in life, and let his scalpel dissect him to pieces.But at this time, he has no intention of giving up life, even though this life has made him feel so ridiculous.So the only thing he can do is fight back.He fought back.How despicable that counterattack was, he wanted to bite off his tongue.His counterattack was not only mean, but weak.The dying old man became more motivated; with the confidence of winning, the old man reprimanded his crimes more severely and told him the truth-every crime he committed, he was fully aware of it, and he would never forget it ; He has penetrated into the core of his vile soul, he has nowhere to go, no way to think, and the only way to escape is death.By this time, Georg's will to live has completely collapsed, and he no longer has anything against his father's will.The sense of guilt buried in the abyss by him rolled over in an instant like a huge wave, quickly drowning him.How feeble was the desperate plea that cried out before dying.

Georg is already an adult and has always lived with his father.In fact, during the intervals of his daily, busy life, he never really forgot for a single moment the shadowy presence in the corner of the big house.It's just that he always uses worldly ones.He anesthetized himself with superficial happiness, trying to ignore that weird old man.His efforts failed in the end, and the father continued to feed on his sins in his neglect, developed his own complex and profound world, became the king of hell, and mastered the power to punish Georg.By the time Georg realizes the intentions of this devil in the deepest part of his soul, it is too late.Georg thought and felt on the same level as his father.We can easily see that they are all equally rigorous, sensitive, and have the habit of in-depth analysis.The only difference between them is that one of them lives in colorful lies and perfunctoryly passes the test everywhere; while the other lives in the dark truth, tortured to the brink of death, unable to move.Daily life intensifies the tension and contradiction between the two, leading to an unexpected ending: blood is used to pay off the karmic debt.

The reason why the artist's inner struggle is more thrilling than ordinary people is because of both Georg's sensitivity and his father's tenacity.Looking back, what else could one do but live like Georg and end up like him?People are so weak, their energy is so limited, and they cannot care so much if they want to live.But the artist does not point out the way out, rather he just points out the dead end and reveals the terrible truth.Here, the truth is not observed through the man who turned into a beetle, but the truth is spoken directly from the mouth of the terrible-looking father.Maybe people will feel creepy when they first hear it.Truth, freedom, conscience, these things that have been disfigured by people's disguise, are restored to their original appearance in the works of artists.

November 18, 1998, Yingcai Garden