Chapter 46 Castle of the Soul - Burden of Memory

(K said to Frieda,) "In short, sometimes your heart is not on me, you are looking at something half-lit and indistinct somewhere, poor child, A is here Lin Shiyi is in your final sight If the right person appears, you will fall for them and fall victim to the illusion that these illusions are just fleeting things, ghosts, memories of the past, can Said to be the past life that keeps disappearing, and these are still your real life today.". The assistants, full of pure childhood memories, walked down from the castle and walked into the lives of K and Frieda, spending an unforgettable time with them. Why did K have to get rid of these two people?Why can't I restrain my dislike for them from beginning to end?Because of contempt, but also because of the ulterior shame and inferiority in the heart.During these days in the village, K tried his best to play a game of throwing off his own shadow.During this game, Frieda, who knows the details, has been persuading him, comforting him, and at the end, when K finally finished, she told him the truth of the matter. K got rid of his assistants, with the result that he least expected: Frieda left him, and one of his assistants took his place.

From the start, K ​​was doomed at the game.These two unattractive and obstructive family members were actually sent by Klamm to monitor K's performance. Although this cannot be confirmed, Frieda just felt it intuitively. K must endure them with super endurance, and it is possible to keep in touch with the castle.In K's imaginary contest between him and Klamm for Frieda, the assistants also played a decisive role in Klamm's victory.Because K's physical strength and energy are limited, and these two assistants tirelessly harass K day and night, which are more unbearable than bedbugs.Of course, if K was not so sensitive, the degree of harassment would be much smaller.He couldn't face the prying eyes of his assistants calmly, especially when he was making out with Frieda.Why can't he face it calmly, does he have ghosts in his heart?Yes, there are too many ghosts in K's heart, and the guilt in his heart affects his actions all the time, making it difficult for him to move forward. The relationship with these two assistants is a good example.What he wanted in his heart was to trap Frieda so that he could bargain with Klamm. How could he be calm during the intercourse?Of course, it would be best to do it with the door closed and a light on, like he and Frieda had done the first night.But as long as these two assistants are in front of his eyes, K's memory will be aroused, and the memory will press on K like a magic mirror, let him show his original shape, and drive him crazy. In order to protect himself, K had to drive away the assistant again and again.

Frieda's heart is also contradictory, she has been deeply tormented by another memory.She walked down from the high position in the bar, down to the bottom floor, and K-Dao came to experience the life of ordinary people in the world, which was a dilemma.Her original intention is not to experience wholeheartedly, but because she has stayed in that position for too long, something new must happen as an opportunity to strengthen her position.But she wanted to experience it wholeheartedly.She had told Au that she wanted to go to a foreign country with him (an exaggeration on the spur of the moment, of course); her fear was not that she would lose Klamm, but that she would lose K, because there were too many Klamms and her mind was full. It was all Klamm; she wanted to live an ordinary life with Ya, to get K whole, to live peacefully with K, not lose him.When she told K this, K asked her with ulterior motives if Klamm was still in touch with her, and this question brought her back to her current situation, reminding her that she belonged to Klamm, because this , she will never be completely correct, and at the same time she really hopes to stay with K "forever and ever, without interruption, without end".But how can she enjoy it when "Cram's Special Agent" keeps walking by her side, reminding her of her fascinating childhood on the hillside of the castle, and begging her not to get too deep in the bottom? Happiness in the world? So her love for Zheng always seems so neurotic, so absent-minded, and perfunctory. The memory of Kram oppresses her, and it is completely hopeless to break free, and it is not what she wants. The only way out is To make her own substance disappear, to dissolve in the half-dark blur. At last she did so, and bid farewell to K. with love and regret. The assistants were only an excuse for her. When K went to Paris When the Nabas girls were there, Frieda used her assistants to attack K, causing her and K to finally experience the most common emotion in the world—jealousy. We see that in the relationship between Frieda and K In the novel, both of them have ulterior motives, and they want to seek something through each other to achieve a certain purpose; their true feelings are realized in this kind of seeking and this kind of plot. In order to achieve their goals, they have to resort to despicable However, we cannot say that they have no sincerity just because they used a certain method. The world has already become a huge garbage dump, and sincerity can only be realized in meanness, and a "person" from the bottom must fight To get close, we must use all possible opportunities and means. The brief relationship between them, as K described realistically, was "you meet me, I meet you, our two hearts are united, and both of us Forget about yourself". At the same time, they really have their own ulterior motives. Everything that has been done is despicable and seems to be unbearable. Only the distant goal is awe-inspiring. For this imaginary goal, K and Frieda must forgive all the meanness in the process. As for the proprietress, she just wants to let her two students see the meanness in the process and set up some obstacles for them. In her heart, all this has long been obtained Forgive me. This brings us back to another example, that of the little boy Hans. Hans' mother was pale, weak, "the woman from the castle". Hans saw himself as his mother's protector, who She was his idol and must not be defiled by anyone. Not only did he want to protect her from her vulgar father - that's why he came to K - but he would never allow K to harass her. In his opinion Come on, anyone is a kind of harassment to the mother. K found out the situation of his family during the conversation with Hans, so he used Hans' love for his mother and tried his best to provoke him to get close to her, so as to find out about the castle. In this example, K can also be said to have the possibility of "meet me, I will meet you" with the pale lady, and it is for this pursuit that he deceives the little boy. We How should we understand the relationship between K and the women? Just stare at them for a long time and face them.

K did not recognize the true faces of the two assistants until the end, and this identification was the most difficult and difficult.The two of them were so close to him, so deeply involved in his daily life, harassing and teasing him with their disgusting behavior, that it made him very angry.How could he recognize such two people?Even if he recognized him, he couldn't tolerate their torture calmly. After all, he was not Frieda, but a stranger living in the village temporarily. He was born without Frieda's broad mind and her calm judgment. .Frieda, on the other hand, noticed something different in these two mysterious figures from the beginning. Their simple, bright eyes reminded her of Klamm's eyes, and she felt that Klamm was gazing at her through their eyes.That was why she watched their follies with respect and admiration, and considered them indispensable to her life with K.At the same time, she also knew that she was at odds with these two people. K's feeling could not be persuaded by reason, and she could only rely on her efforts to maintain this big family of four.This kind of dealing with made her physically and mentally exhausted.In the end, the cohabitation life between her and K ended, and this life turned into a new memory in the half-darkness; and K started again from another place.There will be new assistants there, perhaps in a different guise. K might still be surprised?Perhaps more calm?

Frieda always treats the two assistants with an attitude of attachment and pity. These two naive "children" who pretend to be the assistants of the land surveyor are actually Frieda's assistants.They are very estranged from K, but they are in touch with Frieda.They are Frieda's childhood memories related to the castle.This kind of memory cannot be cut off by K. It covers his entire relationship with Frieda, and they have been living in the shadow of this memory. K's final successful escape is nothing but a failure in the ultimate sense.Frieda thus said: "There is no quiet place in this world for our love, not in the village, nor anywhere else, so I hope there is a grave, a deep and narrow grave, where we hug each other like two pincers Hold tight, my face is hidden in your arms, your face is hidden in my arms, no one will see us again."

But as soon as she opened her eyes, she saw the childish assistants, who were begging her with their hands in their mouths.In K's eyes, these two guys always remind him to reflect on the shady aspects of his behavior.Everything that happened to him was watched by these two unbearably childish guys.These past events became the dregs of memory, which remained on K, causing K to constantly have the urge to get rid of these dregs.This impulse is the weakness in the relationship between K and Frieda. Klamm, who lives in the castle, is well aware of this weakness of K. He specially sends two assistants to drive them apart, and finally succeeds.During Frieda's cohabitation with K, she lived with K and his assistants. She didn't feel awkward at all, and accepted it as a fact, allowing them to invade her life, because she quickly accepted it in her heart. Two people see it as a part of themselves. Evidently K. did not understand this, and his insistence finally turned into audacity, and he trampled on the two assistants roughly and got rid of them himself.In this way, he also lost Frieda, the bargaining capital with Kramm.He didn't realize that there was a condition for Klamm to give Frieda to him, and the condition was that he must have two assistants.He was careless and reckless, ignoring the key point.To get rid of the assistant is to get rid of Kramm's restraint, the magic circle of memory no longer works, and the good show is over.

K. had never seen work and life so closely intertwined as here that sometimes it seemed that work and life had switched places.For example, so far Kramm has only exercised formal power over K's work, and that formal power is nothing compared to the real power Kramm has in K's bedroom. At the village chief's house, Au once again learned the true power of the castle.This kind of power is not clearly stipulated, only a series of complex exercise process with twists and turns, which is recorded in a mountain of documents, which cannot be found out, and no one will ask.However, the process itself is irreversible, and it is this process of exercising power in the past that has led to the indetermination of District's identity today. K fought hard and wanted to reverse the development direction of the current situation, but the village head told him the ins and outs of the real situation with his long, cumbersome and clear narration, in order to dispel all possible illusions in his mind and point out His only way out was to live a melancholy life in a foreign land, never to rise to the top, never to improve his status quo, and to be careful to avoid danger.Here power is consolidated in the form of memory accumulation, and K is under its coercion. He is completely ignorant of the cause and effect, and the only thing he can do is to submit.In anger, he also said that he was "tricked" to come here, but he didn't mean it sincerely, and the village chief didn't agree with his radical remarks at all.

The difficulty also lies in the fact that this power is invisible, that no documented record exists of it, and that even Klamm's letter was addressed to K in his personal capacity.But if K thinks he can ignore it, he can't do anything; it interferes with K's private life every moment, and K can't be negligent about it.Klamm, the high eagle, firmly controls people within its sphere of power with its sharp and fierce eyes.Under this kind of control, can K just do nothing and be passive and sabotage?Not only was it impossible, on the contrary, he had to be self-reliant and make unremitting efforts towards his goal, which was what Klamm asked for.He had hinted in that personal letter that all he cared about was being satisfied with K's work.He neither affirmed nor denied K's identity, and it was unclear what the job was, but he still had to satisfy him in the job.He left all the answers to K himself. K had to prove himself, to find out what his job was.According to the letter, the only person K could turn to was his superior, the village chief.This letter had aroused K's boundless hopes and thoughts. He thought that as long as he found the village chief, his employment would be possible.Blindfolded by the barrier, he did not understand Klamm's letter at all.Although the village chief explained to him clearly, he was still not convinced.

Everything a person has done will be stored in memory, and this memory will never disappear, but we don't know it. K didn't know either, only the village head knew, but he couldn't (or didn't bother to try) to extract such a thing from the mass of disorganized documents; he verbally explained this memory to K, and K had to believe it.The village chief and his tiny wife, who float around like a shadow, act as the guardians of memory; Categorized them.Normally, the village chief and his wife just guarded these things silently, because no one except K came to inquire or get to the bottom of it. Stubbornness.So the village head had no choice but to enlighten him earnestly, telling him the reason for the "mistake" and its inevitability and irreversibility; he asked K to obey the castle's arrangement, be content with the status quo, and recognize the future.The subtext of the village chief is: within the scope of the village, he can wander around and go wherever he likes, and it can even be said that he receives some kind of preferential treatment. Of course, he must always be vigilant, otherwise danger lurks in this place. Under the superficial preferential treatment.He must check his every move and "look around every step he takes."

I have always wanted to live a "routine" life, but there is no "routine" life in the village. All life is closely intertwined with duties and interpenetrates each other. This phenomenon is a result, an irresistible combination of history and The result of the memory process.This situation is self-evident to the villagers, so everyone abides by the law, only Liao always acts recklessly and breaks the discipline.Obviously, to let K understand the inside story, once or twice enlightenment is definitely not enough.In fact, K can never be enlightened.As long as he lived in the village for a day, he would make mistakes; and these mistakes became new documents recorded by the castle, and the documents were sent one after another to the village chief's dark storage room to be preserved forever; I didn't know it, so I couldn't adjust my thoughts and actions according to the spirit of the document. What's more, the document didn't specifically tell K how to do something correctly. But it was recorded in No. 1.

On January 7, 1998, Youyi Village