Chapter 47 Castle of the Soul - Image of the castle

We all have a castle in our hearts, and they come in different shapes.What does the castle in the poet's heart look like? In the early morning light of that winter day, K and the castle retreated and carefully looked at the exterior of the castle.It turned out that what stood on the mountain was neither an ancient knight's castle nor a new luxury building, but a building complex with civilian characteristics, even quite shabby and lacking in changes, like a small town with ordinary cottages.It was this inconspicuous castle that reminded K of his hometown town—the castle in his heart.Comparing them carefully, the church tower in my hometown stands above the large low houses, with lofty goals and clear intentions; while the tower here is dilapidated, timid, without confidence, and even gives people the impression of absurdity , feel that it is completely unnecessary to exist in this world.This is K's first impression of the castle. This impression is full of his accumulation of years of life experience, and it is undoubtedly very accurate.It can be said that K, who came here after a long journey, really saw the truth, approached the truth, and experienced the truth at this moment.This is the truth of the common people, with the simplest appearance, the sharpest and most direct penetrating power; it appears monotonous because of its simplicity, and it appears shy and hesitant because of its nakedness, but the simplicity and hesitation are mixed with the most aggressive momentum; It is the reappearance of K's former ideal, and K finds it strange and familiar.Observing the castle up close often makes K feel gloomy, depressed, and depressed; only in the distance, when he is separated from the castle, does the castle reflect that kind of free demeanor, arousing his desire to pursue.So positive emotions are always in the alternation of uplifting and depressing.This is also determined by the nature of the castle itself, because no matter how superb the castle is, it is impossible to build it in mid-air. They are all products of our mortals, with all kinds of vulgarity and defects of mortals, which make us worried and ashamed At the same time, the castle does embody our free will, and we have overcome all kinds of hardships to come to it, but we can't enter it, we can only look up at it.The castle is quiet, and only when you look back suddenly, you will see its towers gleaming in the sun; you will be amazed at its simplicity and childishness, and doubt everything; but it doesn't matter, when you are free When the wind blows, how light and pleasant those buildings look from a distance.Sometimes, when it was getting dark, K suffered from not being able to see the castle.He stared wide-eyed, trying to see signs of life from where the castle had been during the day.His efforts were in vain.The place was dead silent, and the longer he stared, the less he could discern, until at last everything melted into pure chaos.It is impossible to maintain such a gaze for a long time. The confrontation with nothingness can only happen for a short time, and then the eyes turn away.What is it?Maybe it's really a phantom?If it is really a phantom, how can it rule our daily life?In the intervals of K.'s busy life he was always looking in that direction, sometimes seeing ordinary cottages, sometimes just chaos.Which one is its true face?No one could prove it to him, no one could take away his pain and confusion.

The image of Klamm, the official from the castle, is consistent with the image of the castle: calm, taciturn, with unimaginable deterrence and control; The air penetrates everyone's body like air.This is just Klamm in the minds of the villagers. The Klamm that K saw through the small hole in the door was a very ordinary, elderly gentleman, not only had no outstanding features, but K also concluded from the narration of the proprietress and Frieda that Think him vulgar, no different from a poor man.Like the castle, Kram possesses the power of spiritual domination, and this invisible power is self-evident to every villager.In the face of this kind of power, if people want not to destroy themselves, they have to obey.The ugly learning process is to constantly encounter this invisible force and experience its invincibility through continuous failure.It is certain that even after going through such a long learning process, K will never become a formal villager.What is an official villager?They are all incarnations of truths that speak fables, models, not men. K can only be K, even if he faces the authority of the castle all day long, he has no choice but to make mistakes one after another, helplessly perfunctory.Frieda and her assistants, who bear the heavy responsibility assigned by Klamm, return to their original positions after performing this good show together with K, and become cold and repulsive again. outside humanoid puppets.And K, after parting ways with them, is still the flesh and blood K; he will have new hallucinations, re-plan his life, and make mistakes again.During this process, he would gaze at the castle from time to time, and that place seemed to be close in front of his eyes, but at the same time seemed to be getting farther and farther away.And next time, who will Kram send to connect with K?What new content will the next play have?All this was in Klamm's head; he had foreseen everything, and there would be no omissions or mistakes.Of course, there is a gap in the encirclement he set up for K, and even this gap is designed according to K's nature, so Gong can always break through.It is embarrassing to equate such a featureless little old man, a vulgar fellow who is always trying to settle things with the servants, with the will of the castle. K has not been able to get used to this concept for a long time, which is also the source of his long-term mistakes.It's just that the village is a place with strong assimilation power, where everyone confuses work with life; under the long-term influence of this custom, who can say that K will not continue to change?Doesn't he keep changing?If things go on like this, one day, like the villagers, he will equate the hooligan official Sotini with his ideal love object.The only difference is that K's understanding can only be rational, and he is stubborn in terms of instinct and emotion.On the one hand, this extravagant foreigner caused headaches for the villagers, and on the other hand, he injected vitality into their rigid life.

The arduous effort to connect the two poles is reflected in the image of the castle.Everything is unaccustomed and abominable; in this abomination, one unconsciously compromises with reality. As long as K stays in the village for a day, the hatred will not disappear, it will only intensify.Even the castle is constantly fueling this emotion, in order to strengthen K's conviction and at the same time make him feel alive.The vulgar and the sublime are closely combined here.What seemed so abrupt and incomprehensible to K was taken for granted in the eyes of the villagers. K's emotions are always clinging to the surface of the watch, while the villagers are clinging to the essence.When will K turn around emotionally, and see heaven as hell, the unattainable big man Klamm as the vulgar guy flirting with the maid, and the run-down cottage community as sacred in his heart. castle?When will he feel that all these are two sides of the same coin?Perhaps he has accepted this idea, but he will never be able to control his worldly emotions.From K's side, the villagers represent his inner essence, which is indestructible; K constantly tries to forget them, and the result is that they become more apparent, leading K to deepen his understanding of his own essence step by step. .Recognition does not mean complete compromise or no longer living, and this is not what the villagers want to see.What they want to see is that K continues to struggle and resist, so as to deepen his understanding.This process is endless, and new footprints are constantly left in the snow, just like the proprietress expected from her heart.In this sense, it is the image of the castle that is being constructed together with the villagers, and both of them are also the two poles of things.Without the intrusion of this outsider, the fable of the castle cannot start.Everything here is a contradiction; and the castle is the greatest contradiction, the greatest mystery of mysteries; the root of its existence is a kind of contradiction, a kind of eternal pain; The pavilion is like a daily home and a daydream. K will never be able to go inside the castle, and can only trek around the periphery for a long time with a strong desire, set some illusory goals and plans, and work hard towards that goal every day.Could it be that the castle in mid-air is a symbol of longing?The soul that built the castle is a rare and broad soul. Thanks to his insight into the secrets of the two poles, he finally seamlessly connected the two worlds into one.This is really a miracle of genius. What kind of strength and will is needed to achieve such a pure and beautiful artistic conception.Everything comes from the secular world, the ordinary pavilion is just an ordinary building higher than the surrounding low houses, and all the materials are no different from ordinary buildings.Is it because of this that it has a purer and more otherworldly quality than any castle?Is it because of universal recognition that it finally leads to complete emptiness?

The miracle before us seems like a phantasm gathered from the groans of hell; its source of unseen bitter tears, of countless intertwined tales of sorrow.What could move us more than the wordless, eternal grief of Amalienne?Amalienne's sorrow is the castle's sorrow.This daughter of the castle, that fateful expression on her face is the expression of the castle.She grew up bathed in the spirit of the castle, of course she had expected the setbacks she would suffer.Even so, the young girl couldn't resist trying the forbidden fruit, so Sotini, the castle official, taught her a good lesson.The expression on her face has never changed since then.For K, she is a saint, and K understands her and understands the will of the castle.From the eyes of the villagers of the castle, it is impossible for Sotini to behave otherwise, as long as his feet step out of the castle, his behavior must become a despicable behavior (can the world not be despicable?).His behavior towards Amarini was considered normal and did not detract in the slightest from his dignified, dignified image; even if that nobility could not be seen at all, it was ingrained in the minds of the villagers.Where K discovered gaps in perception, the villagers were unaware. K feels disgust, hatred of worldly filth, and he will always keep his feeling.And Amarine, with her calm and transcendent gaze, sees only eternal things. Mystery still loves Sotini as a noble official, but she can't love anymore, her love is frozen into a fossil with her sorrow. .K, who can't become a fossil, certainly can't achieve her kind of advanced education.O castle, you heaven of hell, hell of heaven, where are you?Why is your noble, free figure always invisible?Why is this decadent, despicable, and disgusting image always visible?Which face is your real face?The pain of the Amalniu family, which was in the sharpest conflict before, has now solidified, and the actions of the family have also formed a fixed pattern, which has been incorporated into the order of the castle.The conflict, which began with a miracle (Amali's love), provoked accusations from the villagers, because Amali had defied the will of the castle in the course of the miracle.But who knows whether this defiance is just a reflection of the design and intention of the castle itself?Perhaps it is behind the stern, grim expression of the castle that there is a deep contradiction?Perhaps the miracle of Amari's defeat is the breakthrough of this contradiction?Perhaps this is the play that the castle directed for the disaster-stricken people?Not to get rid of them, just to make them experience a deeper sense of guilt?Castle's expression is indescribable.When you think it is cold and severe, it hesitates, and even shows pity; sometimes it stares blankly at the void in front of it, and sometimes stares at the living beings below with a half-smile; When you disappear, when you look back suddenly, you can clearly see it staring at your back painfully; often, it appears so indifferent, alienated, and refused, but this does not mean that it is not listening.

What made K feel unbearable and depressing all day long was indeed the will-sapping atmosphere in the village.The pervasive principle drives people crazy.Here, most of the women have become pale shadows floating around all day long (such as the village chief's wife, Hans' mother, Frieda in the later stage), or slow-moving monsters in the shadows (the proprietress, Amarie, etc.) girl), the men are lifeless corpses. K saw no living beings.His judgments of men are always dominated by delusion.Whenever he fancied a little hope that the other party would have some life content, the other party's confession of upholding principles immediately shattered his hope.Principles suffocate people, but they do not allow K to really go to a dead end and fall into the embrace of death, but instead allow him to break through the gap and linger on, falling into another encirclement.Castle is like the chief architect of the scam, watching K suffer with indifference.However, it is K's nature to be voluntarily deceived, and complete sobriety means death he does not want.Therefore, the most common expression of the castle is no expression, "Leng Leng".Perhaps the moment K didn't pay attention to the castle, a look of surprise flashed across his face?Did the primal brute force in the stranger, his desperate, inquisitive, never-give-up manner sometimes make the Castle feel weird too?Why did no one in the village drive K away, but accommodated him as a dissident, enlightened him, and gave advice?Perhaps the huge castle exists just for this outlander?It is because of K's absurd behavior that the image of the castle stands out, right?Can it be said that the castle and K are mirrors of each other, reflecting their own essence?Until the end, K's will has not been worn away, and he is still engaging in the trick of breaking out with relish, which is gratifying.This also hints to us: the castle originally belonged to K, and K, who came here after a long journey, just walked into a world that he created unconsciously for many years and existed only for him.It's just that everything was done in private and unconsciously, and he didn't recognize his creation when he saw it.We can't help but sigh: What kind of powerful rationality should a person who creates such a huge and complex system have; at the same time, what kind of strange fascination should he have for this superficial life!It is only when both are combined that unique constructions become possible.A soul with both must be constantly torn.Therefore, the castle and K together constitute the two parties being torn apart, and neither of them can do without the other. How did K expect that the holy place that is high above and never accessible exists only for him?Are the villagers trying to guide him to this point, or are they trying to prevent him from reaching this realization?

In the village, the stories of all people belong to the past, and the iron order has been established long ago. Only the story of the outsider K belongs to the present, to the present moment. Such a story must be a kind of miracle.The villagers told him stories of their past in order to frighten him with the difficulties he was about to face, and to tell him that he would die if he acted recklessly.At the same time, they were heartened by his behaviour, a certain dead passion secretly revived in them (for example, the attention of the landlady, Frieda, Olga, and even the assistants to K. their desires were throbbing), they secretly hoped that he would go his own way, so that they would indirectly experience through him again the old passion, the old dream.This K. was so stupid and ignorant, lacking in common sense, yet so wonderful that he made their attention always follow him, depending on what he was going to do.Every move in the district affects the nerves of the villagers, or the nerves of the castle.From that height, Zhang Sheng in the mist sometimes sneers: what tricks will this scheming, clever fellow come up with?Sometimes he was surprised: he actually did such a thing!Sometimes doubts appear: what else can he come up with?But in general, the castle doesn't make a fuss, so all these expressions are invisible to K; because they all belong to a kind of dead calm, a kind of superior indifference, and that's what K sees.Although nothing can make the castle fuss, the castle's curiosity knows no bounds.It stands there, it is always watching, and it never gets bored in the slightest.Maybe K is insignificant, but for him, and only for him, the castle has such incomparable patience.Because of this patience, it emerges from time to time from the mist on the mountain, giving K a hope that is both real and illusory, prompting K to play out his own good show to the end.K, who moves blindly in the dark, his heart is always illuminated by that strange light, so no matter how absurd his situation is, we always see him as if he has some kind of opinion, we have never seen him before There are times when you give up and are decadent.If there was such a time, it must be the time when the castle completely disappeared from the hillside.The fact is that it has always stood there as a matter of course, where the air is extremely fresh, and the surrounding dreamlike environment gives those humble buildings a timeless style.

Every footprint of K in the snow is shaping the image of the castle and this hopeless hope.Inspired by the coexistence of guidance and obstacles from the villagers, K is driven by the eruption of inner brute force.The footprints seemed haphazard and meaningless; whether he was advancing or retreating, it was quite impossible to tell where he was going.Only one thing is certain, that is, the image of the castle will also change, it will become more and more clear, more and more expressionless, a kind of expressionlessness mixed with all expressions; and at the same time, it can be said that its image is completely blurred It is completely integrated with the background, and can no longer be distinguished.These two processes evolve simultaneously from opposite directions, and it is in this process that the miracle of genius takes place.Who can fully understand the profound smile that hides behind the face of the poet?That inconceivable smile condensed from thousands of years of cultivation?That weird smile that can't be captured, fleeting, but etched in my heart?

September 17, 1998, Yingcai Garden