Chapter 45 The Castle of the Soul - Unforgettable in Dreams

The castle stood as still as ever, its outlines were beginning to disappear; K had never seen a sign of life there, perhaps it was impossible to see anything from such a distance, but the eyes Always wanting to see something, it can't stand the silence.When K gazed at the castle, it sometimes seemed to him that he was observing a person who sat quietly, his eyes dreamy, not indifferent to everything because he was lost in thought, but free and indifferent. Carefree, as if he was alone, no one was watching him, but he must know that someone was watching him, but he was still as quiet as before, motionless...

The energetic outsider K broke into the village outside the castle, and got caught in entanglements with the people in the village one after another, always hiding his indomitable ambition of proof and pursuit.The village is like a long and haunting dream, always haunting K and sapping K's will.In the confrontation again and again, the hidden ambition in K's heart gradually unfolded, and the people around him also revealed their ambitions one by one.The form of expression and the degree of purity are different, but the core is very consistent.Driven by this ambition, everyone turns their lives into detective stories, one after another; each person's detective stories are intertwined with others, and a more complicated new one is derived. story to come.This is the original form of life.This state is originally invisible to our naked eyes, and it is only when we turn our eyes and gaze at the castle that everything is magically revealed.

In this extraordinary village, these poor, lazy, childish and vulgar people showed K their profound souls in turn.Sometimes they preach, sometimes criticize;Through those complicated narrations and those surging passions, without exception, we finally see an extremely pure artistic conception, which is the castle in the dream and the birthplace of all passions.No matter how twists and turns the expression is, "all roads lead to Rome".Through the enlightenment of these teachers (from the little boy Hans, the little girl Peiser to Frieda, Olga, and then to Amarini, the boss and the boss's wife all took on this responsibility), and gradually from ignorance and confusion He came to the clarity in the confusion, but his original intention has not been worn away; because this kind of enlightenment has a duality, it is both killing and encouraging, and K has experienced both at the same time.

K. is always that dull stranger, always in need of earnest teaching and tireless guidance, and his nature is always a little stubborn; but he has good intentions, and the unforgettable eternal lover in his dream accompanies him and makes him break through. Pass level after level, trudging on the path leading to the castle.But K is no longer a pure outsider.After experiencing so many disappointments and frustrations, he obviously can't become a formal villager, he still has to make mistakes again and fall into the mud again; but every mistake, every fall, there will be a kind of "deja vu". "The feeling of reassurance.This is the difference between Zheng Zheng after entering the village and K before entering the village.Of course, this distinction can be ignored, because it does not really alleviate the pain, but just adds a seemingly useless foresight.We still have to say that K was not a simple stranger before entering the village, when all the necessary conditions were already present in his soul.In the village, again and again, he recognized those things that were already in his soul and made them his "reality."

The actions of seeking and confirming either lead to ridiculous farce, or lead to infinite fans, and each such ending is an eye-opener for K, a new improvement in understanding.But it can also be said that he has not moved in place, because the castle still stands in the distance, and all the passages are unpredictable.Yet life in the village is not unbearable; consider carefully that even the nasty cat is K's teacher, not to mention the weather-beaten peasants in the pub; there is a lot to learn in the village. K studies hard in this labyrinth of knowledge, trying to use every possible opportunity to shorten the distance from the castle, but his stupid nature makes all his efforts in vain.What is astonishing is the great energy in K. Despite failure after failure, all attempts are shaken and dismissed, and we finally see him waiting for the opportunity to make a new rise.Only those who have been possessed by evil spirits have such energy, and this kind of heterogeneous elasticity is enough to make people dumbfounded.

vibrant childish little pebby In spite of her ignorance, she may have been connected with the castle; if she is not lying, she was once a chambermaid; she has been sleeping here, but does not understand the capital she has It is impossible to take away the capital she has with her delicate body in his arms, but being able to touch it can motivate him to continue on this difficult road.Wasn't her situation the same as Frieda's?It's different, it's different from Frieda, just think about Frieda's eyes and it's understandable. If the characters in the village were divided into levels, Peibi might be regarded as the most superficial, or in other words, the lowest level.She was furthest from the castle and had the least hope of gaining direct relations with castle officials (she waited for Klamm in an alcove in the corridor several times, which turned out to be a waste of time).It is precisely because of this that her chubby little body is filled with endless vitality, and countless little tricks are stored in her childish head, and the shallow enthusiasm boils in her body all day long. .Finally one day, she came to the fore - although it was only four days, although the result was a miscarriage.This red-faced and energetic little maid, entangled endlessly for the little profit in front of her, fought wits and tried her best, with a stubborn and simple personality; she and the pale and thin Frida with calm eyes, and the bloated and heavy boss with a sinister personality They complement each other to form a multi-layered landscape.Listen to her talk.Her whimsy, her exhausting calculations, her passionate efforts, her careful analysis, her final disappointment, and her ability to bear this disappointment and her secret plan for a comeback are almost in one breath. The inside jumps off the paper.We walked into the maze of life together with her, and experienced the great sorrow and great joy of life.Yet even in this most primitive, low-level desire, we can also hear a distant call from above.Yes, Pebby lives for it.Now that she belonged to the inn, the possibility of getting close to Klamm had not been lost; although she had lost one chance, she had not completely lost the capital she had.She hasn't met Klamm yet, and she hasn't become Klamm's mistress like Frieda; it doesn't matter, the future is long, she is strong-willed, has a keen sense of smell like a hunting dog, and works hard to get close to the target like an earthworm in the ground. We might say she has a bright future ahead of her.

She enters the scene swiftly after K drags Frieda into the water.She wants to defeat her opponents, highlight herself, and clear the way for the final goal.Along the way, she dazzles with sleight of hand and scheming; she pulls out all the stops and puts her twist on full display.But she was doomed to fail.why?It's just because she lacks the calm and calm look in Frieda's eyes; she is too impetuous and too enthusiastic.We see that the closer to the essence of life, the more colorful and intoxicating things are, the more naive and superficial, and at the same time unbearable; while the closer to the castle (spirit), the more pale, dull, Cold, yet intriguing.

Pebi finally took K's desperate hope into her hands.She was going to keep him in a small room in the basement, crowded with four other maids of the lowest rank, through the long, monotonous winter.Of course, it is not passive waiting, but actively looking for opportunities, using K to attack Frieda again at the right time, dragging her into the water again, so that she can occupy the throne in the bar by herself.Will this childish wish of hers be fulfilled?Maybe it's just drawing cakes to satisfy your hunger?But no matter what, she won't give up.She is what she is.She would never have the powerful look of Frieda and the proprietress, which is what makes her so charming.So when K saw her for the first time, he stared greedily at her young delicate body, despising and salivating at her.

A phantom was bred in the dream of the gloomy village, and this phantom sublimated upward to form the dazzling castle scenery. "To live, or not to live, that is the question." The author told us somewhere. clear minded big sister Because K felt that Olga, her bravery, prudence, wisdom, her spirit of sacrifice for the whole family was more important than the information. In the decadent home of Barnabas, K met his clever sister Olga again.She drew him to a bench by the fire, and with kindness and patience she analyzed to him the history of her family's woes.Her analysis is seasoned but passionate, she goes deep into the core of things and is unbiased, which greatly benefits K, who has always been vacillating.

The source of the family's misery is Amarina's arrogance and superciliousness.Of course, Amali Niu has always been arrogant and dismissive of everyone.But only after her failed love affair with the castle officials did misery officially befall the family.The Olga family (with the exception of Amarina) has since been in a state of total mental breakdown in the terror of some kind of atonement.Because of this inextricable pain, Olga began to fight for the whole family.She made a complete and careful plan, through her persevering efforts, devious tactics, and finally, through her whimsical and daring behavior, she actually made the childish Barnabas the messenger of the castle.It was a marvelous thing, and only Olga's brilliant mind could make sense of this mad whim.Inspiration is often driven by desperation, similar to "jumping over a wall in a hurry".

Of course, the suffering did not end, it just re-emerged in a different form.It was the long wait, the endless humiliation, and the fatal doubt about his own identity, which often made Barnabas's spirit on the verge of collapse.And finally, after Olga's tireless enlightenment, and after a short break, he resumed his work, and Barnabas, the self-proclaimed messenger, set out on the road again alone.Everything in the village seems to push people into a situation where there is no one to depend on, no way out.If a person in this situation does not want to be decadent, what else can he do but fantasize?And so Olga, an ordinary, down-to-earth village girl, begins to use her magical imagination.Without her, Barnabas would never be a messenger, at most just a wandering ghost in a trance.She is the source of Barnabas's strength, so brave, so indomitable, in the desperate situation, one idea after another emerges one after another, just like a demon possessed.From Olga's eloquent narration, we saw a hazy way out: the pain cannot be eliminated, but it can be temporarily put aside by diverting attention. In the face of Olga's struggles in this family, Amalniu seems to be just a cold bystander, doing nothing but caring for her sick parents.In fact, Amariniu is more profound, and Olga quickly realized this, and has a deep tacit understanding with her.Nothing in Amalniu has changed, she has seen the end of the matter from the beginning, so she will stick to silence, because all positive actions are futile.But she is not a negative person, otherwise, how could the incident between her and Sodini happen?She is a sober sufferer who understands that one must deceive oneself and take certain actions in order to live; this is the basis of the understanding and tacit understanding between her and Olga.She is arrogant and disdains to get involved in childish behaviors in the family; on the other hand, she understands these behaviors very well.Her eyes are clear, she can see the complex and changeable world, and she is strong-willed, never panic; so only she is the backbone of this family, relying on critical moments, and she does it by sticking to her own silence and loneliness That's it.Olga said: "Without Amarina's participation, nothing will work. All the methods are only experimental. The results of the experiment will not be told to Amarina, so it is meaningless, but even if I tell Amarina about these methods Marikie, all I met was silence." Only a sober-minded person like Olga could reach such a strange tacit understanding with Amalini, so as to support each other and provoke the burden of family suffering.It can be said that Amalini is the unchanging background in this landscape composed of families, and at the beginning, she is the cause of this landscape.She gazed through misery into a strange light from above.Olga's big heart understands all this, so she loves her sister so much, admires her, and obeys her silent leader. Olga is the most energetic and positive girl in the family, and her resilience is also amazing.Not only can she understand everything, but she is always planning and busy, fighting to the end with fate, and she will not be discouraged even if she fails completely. Instead, she has more whimsical ideas, cheers up again, and competes with fate again.When she came to us, a familiar and friendly breath came over my face. the humblest and the noblest "You are right," said the landlady, with her head bowed, "please forgive me. I am not more sensitive than others, on the contrary, everyone has his sensitive place, and I have only one sensitive place. The life experience of the proprietress of the Qiaotou inn is very simple.When she was a young country girl, the official Klamm had called her to his room three times, and had never called her again.On those three occasions, the landlady asked Klamm for three souvenirs: a picture of the messenger, a blanket, and a nightcap.It was these three things that helped the proprietress survive the dark and dark twenty years.The proprietress did not explain clearly what Kramm asked her to do.Perhaps he had sent her to tidy the room; perhaps Klamm had not sent her.It was just that the innkeeper had called her to help; and it could have been worse, that Klamm hadn't given them the three things, but she had stolen them from the room herself (she had done so unwittingly in a fever of enthusiasm).These are trivial side issues, the important thing is that she has these three things, and these three things come from the room where Klamm lived!During her long and bleak career, these three things illuminated her humble and small world like lights in the dark, and time could not obscure its brilliance at all.With these three things, she has the eyes of Monkey King, and everything will show its original shape and essence in her eyes. The proprietress did not become abnormal because of her own misfortune, but maintained healthy judgment and hidden sympathy.Perhaps because of her insight and foresight, K has always been unaccustomed to and disgusted with her. He can't help but use his weak reasons to refute her, deliberately oppose her, and insist on going his own way, as if he wants to abandon her. of.Even these things, the proprietress was not surprised, she foresaw all of them.She understood K.'s psychology and knew that everything he did was stupid, and that these stupid things constituted the process of pursuit and were therefore necessary.And her duty is to "unshakable" K's confidence with entreaties and threats, making him at a loss and making him feel deep fear.To achieve this, the proprietress compared Kramm to an eagle in front of K. Using this metaphor, she hoped that K would at some point think of Kramm's condescending and aggressive eyes, which could never be verified or denied, and Circles which he could not destroy below, but which he held firmly in his hands above by unreasonable laws.Sure enough, K saw the eagle in an instant and realized its incomparably terrifying power; however, afterward, he still insisted on going his own way.This is the desired effect of the proprietress; she is not trying to stop him, but to guide and enlighten him (K). "Why don't we let us settle this matter ourselves?" "It's out of love, out of worry," said the proprietress, and pulled Frieda's head against herself... The proprietress said this when Frieda had just descended on K like a celestial maiden.What happened later confirmed the tenderness hidden deep in the proprietress' heart.K couldn't see this kind of tenderness, but Frieda felt it deeply, so she couldn't help calling the proprietress "mother" and obeying her in everything.The brief relationship between Frieda and K was her travels in the world; everything was planned and foreseen by her and the landlady in advance, only K was kept in the dark.From beginning to end, the proprietress looked at K's every move with sad and worried eyes, worried about him, and warned Frieda who came down to earth at the right moment.for what?It was all for Klamm, that abstract, unchanging lover, the Eagle who would make her blood boil even a little sideways.For Klamm, she (including Frieda) tolerated all K's weaknesses and treated K with an almost imperceptible sense of humor.In the whole incident of Frieda's descent to earth, the final outcome was also predetermined long ago.So although the proprietress is worried and sad, on the whole she is confident; everything is running according to the established track, and she can achieve her goal as long as she sits at home and does not move. From these descriptions, we seem to see the mysterious smile on the face of the proprietress, a smile in heaven that is both sad and ironic; this smile is usually very vague, and if we face it for a long time, it will be like a three-dimensional painting In an instant, it becomes very bright and profound, illuminating our soul. create K. fell asleep, but not really asleep, and perhaps he heard Beagle's words more clearly than when he was awake and sleepy, and every word reached his ears; but his cumbersome consciousness Disappeared, he felt free, and now Wagel could no longer hold him, only he sometimes groped to Beagle; he was not asleep yet, but he was fast asleep.No one should take his sleep away again.He felt that he seemed to have achieved a big victory, and many people were already celebrating the victory. This is the moment when the soul comes out of the body, the moment when there is no restraint or bondage. The struggle between K and Secretary Biggle is the process of nighttime investigation, that is, a spectacular contest between consciousness and subconsciousness in the boundless darkness.In this struggle, the dormant subconscious surfaced to the bottom, defeated the Greek Hercules Beagle and won a temporary victory.Creation fueled by passion begins here.So "the complainant who has never seen it, who has been waiting, who has been waiting, and whose reason has always been considered impossible to come, is sitting here".The unimaginable intrusion became a reality, the host and guest began to change positions, passion swept away all official restrictions, and the robber-like complainant actually made the secretary obtain suicidal pleasure in half-asleep and half-awake. Night inquiries are always made when all other investigations are exhausted; hence "holes," "faults," and "poornesses" are often found in the records. (Inspiration tends to be infinitely inflated, conceited to break through the barriers of logic.) This kind of record frustrates the secretaries after the inquiry, making them want to oppose the inquiry.But the next time, once the investigation really happened in the middle of the night, all kinds of doubts and dissatisfaction were thrown into the sky. The secretaries forgot their identities, and unconsciously became very interested in the mysterious complainant. One is intoxicated in the realm of freedom. This kind of creation is the most seductive and the most painful; every success will be buried under endless doubts.But in the case of dead ends, nocturnal inquiries are necessary; and the impossible can only exist if such unverifiable inquiries are continued.Of course it's still unproven.Creativity is released from this fatal contradiction. K used sleepy eyes, a powerful weapon, to deal with Beagle's almost invincible logic; although he was exhausted and on the verge of collapse, he celebrated his victory in Sleepy Town after all, and made the self-righteous secretary send out "It's like being tickled." girl" screamed.At this juncture he awoke and heard Biggle's remarkably clear logical analysis, which at the same time made him drowsy and held his attention, with its all-conquering allure.The process is so cyclical.So does reason really lose in the struggle?No, this kind of defeat is also a victory in another sense. The scars left on the opponent's body in the fight are the marks of this kind of victory.Biggle's analysis is both tedious and engrossingly imaginative, full of the passion that comes from the inquiry itself.Because the object of the investigation is the intruder who is unlikely to come, this kind of analysis becomes the first time that has never been done before.Now that it's turned out like this, can't we call this fight a great collaboration?Now the complainant and the official who has ceased to be civil servants have not only exchanged places, but I am in you, and you are in me, becoming indistinguishable in the envelopment of great passion.Then a miracle appeared before our eyes.Of course, miracles cannot be "seen" at will, and must be included in that kind of investigation, that is to say, desperately breaking into the maze. There are countless issues that need to be addressed in everyone's mind, which we refuse to admit and forget in long years of silence.Only the complainant with the strongest memory, driven insane by the ever-increasing number of questions left over from time immemorial, would break into an official institution like a robber ship Unprecedented nighttime inquiries.Once started, this inquiry is addictive like a drug; by its very nature it must be continued again and again, interrupted only by physical limitations, since it is in the complainant's nature to be free from doubt. Eloquence comes from the pain of creation, and the bliss that results from that pain.The ecstasy creation picture shown to us by Beagle and K during the nighttime investigation is a true portrayal of this process. On January 20, 1997, Youyi Village