Chapter 44 Castle of Soul - Ideal Light

blend K lives in a village on the outskirts of the huge castle.Contrasted with the indestructible and ideal place of the castle, the daily life in the village seems so hesitant, difficult and without outline.The thick fog of chaos erodes all rules, and everything becomes ambiguous.Why it came out like this?for what?For the ideal (Kram and all that has to do with the castle) is in our hearts, and the mysterious, supreme will of the castle is in our souls.From the very beginning, the son of the castle guard told K: "This village belongs to the castle, and anyone who lives or sleeps here is living in the castle or sleeping in the castle." K failed to obtain formal permission to live in the village, Of course it is impossible to obtain; his identity is always unclear. Because the light of the castle is so dazzling, K feels that his barely gathered outline always disappears unconsciously.We see thin. (by something), the unregulated, never-definable and ever-changing reality of the village; from the moment K strays into the village, this endless "reality" reflected from the castle "It provided the soil for the many beautiful and moving fables in the poet's heart.And what is a castle?It seems to be a void, an abstract place, a phantom, and no one can tell what it is.The strange thing is that it really exists and dominates all the daily life in the village, manifesting its pure and irreversible will in everyone in the village. K is doubtful and uncertain about everything about himself, but his belief in the castle is unwavering.

In this narrow area submerged in the blizzard, bathed in the illusory white light from above, primitive, furry desires grow quietly, and the unparalleled creation shows a transparent shape, and the modern fable begins to activate. The young and sophisticated Frida and the wily proprietress These two people vividly embody the delicate, passionate and persistent femininity hidden in the poet's character.Their extraordinary zeal for the ideal (Kram) also makes our souls shudder.The sensitivity of women makes them have a direct relationship with the castle, and their all-inclusive tolerance and extraordinary endurance enable them to maintain their relationship with the castle to this day.Blindly, he ran headlong into the love net that Frieda had withdrawn, which was well prepared, and this net was manipulated by the proprietress who knew everything.He slipped around in it, at first he couldn't figure out the cause and effect at all, and kept making mistakes; but because of his sincerity—he wanted to maintain the relationship with Klamm through Frieda—he finally found it in Frieda's small hands. An indirect contact was made with Klamm under the guidance of him.The connection may be imaginary, unreliable, and eventually disappearing.But in the village, this imaginary connection often comforted him.It was the consolation of owning something precious, and K's own worth was reflected in it.

(Frieda) said with a dark smile: "I won't go, I'll never go to him (Klamm)." K wanted to protest, wanted to urge her to go to Klamm's, and began to take the bits and pieces off the shirt. Things come together, but he can't say anything.Holding Frieda in his arms, he was so happy, so happy that he was afraid, because he felt that if he lost Frieda, he would lose everything he had. K suddenly possesses Klamm's mistress, Frieda, but this possession is very illusory, often akin to masturbation.Only when Klamm stayed in the distant and inaccessible castle, this kind of possession made K feel infinitely proud, and once Klamm was close at hand, his power disappeared without a trace.In fact, Klamm's charm is embodied through Frieda.This is why Frieda attracted K. from the very beginning: "Her gaze, which exudes special superiority, is surprising." K recognized her from the crowd at once, and followed her like a dog.But a certain breath is looming, and when you deliberately pursue it, it doesn't appear anymore.

They hugged each other on the bed, but not as preoccupied and forgetful as they had been the night before. She was looking for something, and he was also looking for me, his movements were very violent, his face turned into a strange face, he put his head in the other's chest, and burrowed straight in, both of them were looking for... But all of this was in vain To no avail, totally disappointed... In this way, Klamm turned into a wave of emotions, appearing and disappearing on the eternal female Frieda, guiding the blind K to walk along the long passage of life.Young Frieda always takes a motherly tolerant attitude towards positive ignorance, and she knows that she is destined to be K's guide.

Behind Frieda, stands a greater woman who has experienced vicissitudes of life, this is the innkeeper's wife.And this woman, because of her long-term dusty and unfathomable emotions, was so calm when she appeared on the stage, so that K didn't smell the Kram breath on her when he first saw her.And because of her determination to control everything (from her belief in the castle), K was uncomfortable, and he couldn't fully get to know her and get used to her until the end.The problem lies in K. His nature is hard to change. He is always looking left and right, hesitating, distracted, and often clinging to the details, but he can't see the big goal ahead.Maybe there is nothing wrong with K. If the soul does not go out of the body occasionally, who can see it?Although he didn't know the proprietress, the proprietress still stood behind him and Frieda, protecting them both secretly.Her ideal will be realized through her two students.Therefore, no matter how disgusted, contemptuous, and impatient the proprietress is for K's childishness and inattention, she never abandons him from the beginning to the end, but guides him into the broader and manipulative mystery of the human spirit.Her position in the crowd is incomparably superior and high; when she is taken off, she has insight into everything, so she recognized the weakness of human youth from K from the very beginning.

Perhaps we can look at the relationship between these people in this way: M - Frieda - proprietress - Klamm This is also the relationship between the poet and heaven.As the proprietress said, she raised Frieda, Frieda raised K, and she herself was nourished by purer Klamm's emotions.It can be said that she is full of Klamm.Just look at the way she speaks: "In the present situation I would like to remind you (K) that the only way to bring you to Klamm is this memorandum from Herr Secretary. But I don't want to exaggerate, maybe the road doesn't lead to Klamm, maybe it cuts off a long way from him, it depends on the Secretary's opinion. " "But after you said what you said today, and after you tried to take a sudden action to intercept Klamm, the hope of success is of course even smaller.

But this last, faint, vanishing hope, which doesn't really exist, is your only hope. "... I was amazed at how quickly you conquered Frieda. I don't know what else you can do. I want to prevent you from doing anything else. I think it is necessary to achieve this goal." , I have no other choice but entreaties and threats to shake your confidence.During this time I learned to think about the whole thing more calmly.You can do it your way.Your actions may leave deep footprints in the snow outside in your yard, but nothing else. " Inside her bloated body, stuffed with the dross of the outside world, the spirit lurks intact.This old monster who has been tempered for a long time has infinite tenderness surging in his soul.K, who is young and immature, with uncertain behavior, is the object of her attachment.She almost shouted: "Do you know who I am? I..." She fully understands the secret of blending ideal and reality.She knows that the spirit of Kram is embodied through her, and she embodies herself through Frieda, and Frieda, only through the relationship with Ya can realize the ideal of Kramm in the real life in the village.Under the pale light of the castle, K's eyes could not be sure about everything in the village; but he, who always thinks with his stomach, finally moved forward reluctantly and followed his instinct, of course, the steps were careful. Cautious, hesitant.

At the end of the article is all the discussion about the dress of another proprietress (we may see her as a continuation of the previous one). K noticed that the proprietress's clothes were outdated and too richly decorated, so this kind of clothes did not suit the identity of the proprietress.But the proprietress, who is well versed in the details, thinks that she can no longer live without him because of K's keen eyesight; she still has countless outdated clothes to display in front of K. Two cabinets. With the eyes of a child, K sees that the proprietress's clothes do not match her identity, and also sees that she is not just the proprietress, she "has other goals".The disobedient and incompetent K will follow the proprietress into a dim spiritual passage; at the end of that passage, there is the faint light of the castle flickering in the cold wind outside.Finally, when Frieda was bewildered by a "dream-like thing" and focused on gazing at the half-dark, blurry place, forgetting the ugly appearance, the proprietress walked over to Frieda. Da, directly sent an ambiguous invitation to K. What will happen to K? K will finally accept the invitation, because it is full of temptation, and a serial detective story is waiting for him to play the role.We can also say that, under the direction of the proprietress, K and Frieda staged a series of dramas approaching the castle; the castle is unattainable, but the performance is free.

After reading this, our hearts become transparent. After several abstractions, we finally highlighted the relationship between K and the castle.Everything is nothingness, obstacles are insurmountable, only light never fades away. messenger Messenger Barnabas is smart and honest, chic and unconventional.He works for the castle, so he has special eyes.When K pointed out the farmers and two assistants to Barnabas, hoping that he would distinguish himself (K) from these people, Barnabas "did not pay attention to this problem at all", "ignoring it up".Barnabas' gaze came from the nature of his work. K was attracted by him at first sight and followed him excitedly.Not content to wait passively for Barnabas to come to him occasionally, he suggested that Barnabas go outside.In the snow, he couldn't keep up with Barnabas's pace, and it made Barnabas' body unable to move freely.It is here that we read that most beautiful description:

They were walking, but K did not know where they were going; he could make out nothing, not even whether they had passed the church or not.As the constant walking was so laborious for him, he could not control his thoughts.Instead of heading towards their destination, they are walking blindly.The scenes of his hometown kept appearing in his mind... Barnabas, messenger of your spiritual homeland, inspiration of creation, where do you take us?We are as excited and nervous as K, eager to try it.But by this time we were home.We did get home.This is Barnabas' home.Dark, decadent, boring.It turns out that Barnabas did not lead K to the castle at all, but only to return to his home in the village.And was deceived, or this trip made him realize the secret.The home that nurtured Barnabas is supported by pious beliefs, and his foundation and the source of his strength are all in this home.

Direct communication with the castle is impossible, only through the intermediary of the messenger; and the so-called communication is only a kind of self-deception through the messenger, a kind of wishful thinking, which K did not understand until a long time later.However, in the snow at night, holding Barnabas's arm, being dragged by him silently, dreaming about the beautiful scenery of his hometown along the way, what a strange experience it is. Barnabas's identity is also very suspicious, he does not have the official uniform of the castle staff, maybe he is still in the probationary period, not even a low-level follower; he himself is not sure that the place he is going is really the castle office, What a dry job is really the job of a castle messenger.He just stood behind the shutter of some office all day, waiting for the clerk to hand him an old letter from a pile of letters.Everything about him was uncertain and unsatisfactory, and this was the secret cause of his and his sister Olga's long suffering.This older sister has been a constant source of strength and courage to Barnabas.she says: "What on earth do you want, Barnabas? What are you dreaming of, for what purpose? Maybe you want to climb high and leave us, me all? Is that what you want? If I don't believe it, then Why are you so dissatisfied with what you've accomplished... Doubts, disappointments, these are obstacles, but it just means that everything you achieve is nothing, every little thing you have to fight for..." When inspiration soars high, the poet watches suspiciously and whispers such inner monologues as above.A complete repudiation of reality can only ever be achieved in a compromise with reality; broken souls twitch in strands of organic entanglement.Who can tell the dream in Barnabas' heart?That state cannot be described; however, it is certain that it exists in the village, on the weather-beaten faces of the peasants, in their heads flattened by reality, in the clumsy K, the sensitive Frida, the superb In the hearts of the proprietress, the melancholy Amali Niu and others.We recognized everyone because of the castle-like air that pervaded them. Barnabas delivers letters to the castle.In a certain office, the young man was alone and helpless, supported only by some vague belief.And this belief is not static, and must be constantly reminded, encouraged by his sister Olga, and helped in the act of "removing the city that blindfolded him". Olga described the living conditions of their family with her clear thinking.We follow her train of thought and finally see the inevitability of Barnabas' actions.It turned out that "frozen for three days, not a day's cold", this inevitability came from the situation caused by my sister Amariniu. sad-eyed girl "You're always so sad, Amalie," said Ding. "What's on your mind?Can you tell me?I have never seen a country girl like you. " Amalienne's melancholy and silence are eternal, and the sufferer saw his destiny, which was to endure the torment of his heart all his life. The haughty and deeply emotional Amalienne's refusal in front of Sortini wonderfully demonstrates the irreconcilable contradiction between the poet's inner ideal and reality, and how the two sides of the contradiction reach a compromise in a painful and embarrassing situation.Sodini's idol in the castle) met by chance the girl with melancholy eyes, who fell in love with him, and he fell in love with her; in reality.Obscene love letters and crude sexual advice follow.This sudden development shocked Amariniu's heart, and she immediately tore up the love letter and threw it in the face of the messenger.After that incident, all that was left for Amalini was to endure, and to wait for the wounds of the whole family to heal.Sortini poisoned Amarina's whole life; in Amarini's unaltered poisoned love we get a glimpse of the poet's inner condition—he cannot love.Olga said: "Amali Niu not only endured the pain, but also has the understanding to see through the pain. We only see the consequences of things. She can understand the whole story. We hope we can come up with some small solutions. She knows that everything has happened. It was decided, and we had to discuss it quietly, but she just kept silent, she stood upright in the face of reality, lived, and endured this kind of life, just like she does now." Oh, Amari, Amari, you can't forget Sortini.But the love between you may only belong to heaven, and heaven is inaccessible, so your love can only fall to the village.Once this love landed in the village, it turned into a dirty love letter; and you, the country girl who belonged to the village, had to live in silence all your life.Now we understand why your eyes are so melancholy. It is the bleak light of the castle that flickers in a place that cannot be seen in the depths of your pupils. Amarina, who has experienced emotional catastrophe, stays at home all day long and devotes herself to taking care of her sick parents. Her anger is indifferent day by day, and everything is far away. Yesterday's resentment has accumulated into today's melancholy eyes, but her charm has never diminished.Who can say that in her long and bleak days ahead, her distinctive eyes will not make her fall into the abyss of emotion again?Life is tenacious and humble, just like the mud abandoned on the ground... Amarina, who has seen through the essence of life, will not be at peace even in old age.This is her obstacle, but also her charm. Descriptor When the narrator stretched out a hand to block his sight, there was a strange light from above shining on his head; then the vision began to change, the direction of sight changed, and the torch-like eyes directly approached his soul.The narrator denies everything except the purely spontaneous act of creation; and even this act itself he is dubious about.Only in the process can the firmness of belief be reflected; once the process is over, the belief tends to disintegrate. He could not exist, yet he existed; he could not live, yet he lived.All the impossible has become a reality in this free performance.This is the poet's reality, and it is also the reality we readers want to pursue, a naked reality that breaks away from all the cloaks of outmoded conventions.This reality created by the poet in his passion shows us its splendor and charm. He does not belong to heaven, nor does he belong to hell; he is a butterfly resting on the grand staircase leading to heaven, "wandering on the vast open-air steps, going up and down, left and right, never stopping. "Blood on the suspended stairs connected to the earth at the same time, he has insight into the secrets of the upper and lower worlds at the same time.Life surged through him, and he couldn't stop.He gnawed at his own flesh, chewed at his own bones, and screamed with indescribable bliss.He lay down, bruised and bruised, with the light shining on his bleeding lips. The filthy river of life is overflowing with slag and poisonous juice, and the magnificent and strange flowers bloom dazzlingly; this thousand-year-old flower, the miracle described by the narrator, is always in the long night, on the dark and lonely single-plank bridge of life. On, swaying in front of our eyes, give us infinite comfort. The narrator leaves clear footprints in the snow leading to the castle.These footprints reflect the light of heaven in the dark night; these footprints are imprinted in the hearts of every reader who has heaven in their hearts, making it possible for us to see our own situation clearly.We are still tossing and turning in the dark, scratching the barren land under our feet impetuously.But didn't the bell of that century ring lowly again in that distant and unknown place?As long as we listen carefully, we can definitely hear it.We face up and open our blind eyes; our cheeks must feel the light from the spiritual homeland moving slowly on our skin; that is the friendship between light and dark is being completed. On December 28, 1998, Youyi Village