Chapter 42 The Contest of Two Wills Part 2 (3)

1. The Mysterious Messenger Crimes are accumulating, Fa is about to reveal his ferocious face, and the will to "death" gradually gains the upper hand.One rainy morning, Fa sent a mysterious messenger.The emissary appeared as an Italian customer and spoke a language that K could not understand from beginning to end, and the subsequent behavior was even more creepy.He invited K to the gloomy cathedral, leaving K alone in the terrifying darkness, but he never appeared.The whole plot and the atmosphere of the church suggest that this is a covenant of death, because the final judgment is coming.

Why was K so easily fooled?With his ability and keenness, didn't he see any clues beforehand? The obstacle to K's judgment turned out to be himself.The fundamental reason is that he refuses to give up life.He still wanted to maintain his position in the bank (although that position was about to collapse), he wanted to compete with the deputy manager, he wanted to handle his case from the eyes and ears of his colleagues, and he was afraid of other people's suspicions.For all this he dared not refuse to accompany the Italian.Considering all the restrictions that have been formed for a long time, what other way out will he have now but to slip into the trap voluntarily?If he wants to live and be a bank assistant, he cannot see the truth, so he can only have one way of thinking, because the other way of thinking leads to a dead end, a dead end, and can only be avoided.But the Fa doesn't disappear just because you don't think about it, it quietly becomes stronger.As the day of seeking was approaching, it sent this envoy whose whereabouts were not clear and whose actions were so strange that he could not understand it, to fight against K.The strange aura emanating from the messenger came from another world, and K could recognize this person as long as he put aside the mask of self-deception.But how could K not deceive himself?All his career, glory, and the foundation of his being are all in this world. What is the meaning of another world to him?So he was destined to be unable and unwilling to recognize this person, even if the matter was repeated a hundred times.

But it cannot be said that he absolutely did not recognize this person.Things were always so queer with K.His reasoning about going and not going, his ambivalence about the job, his efforts to understand the strange Italian language, his back and forth thoughts in justifying his stay in the cathedral Doesn't the struggle, and the act of staying in the end, imply the opposite? K has a ghost in his heart, and the mysterious messenger is the incarnation of that ghost, guiding him through the final journey.It is because the will to "dead" prevails that "live" appears so eager, and finally violates reason and deceives oneself to the point of being in a dream, right?Perhaps, no matter what appeared in front of his eyes at this time, he could always find a secular reason to explain it.Time was running out, and he could not linger in doubt.Whatever happens is always reasonable.He must go to the judgment seat blindfolded, otherwise the judgment seat is far away and he will never reach it.

2. Hear the verdict on behalf of all mankind K finally arrived at the solemn judgment seat.A man who claimed to be the priest of the prison addressed him from the pulpit of the church.Without a lawyer, K can only defend himself.Standing face to face with the strange priest in this gloomy place, the fear in K's heart was rising, his tone of voice became weak, his confidence was overwhelmed by confusion, and the shackles of reason were about to collapse.Still dying, he asked the priest: How can a person be found guilty for no reason?The priest did not answer his question, but told him that all sinful people would ask the same question.The priest will never answer K's question because the question itself is the premise of the trial.But K's resistance is also a premise. Starting from his own premise, K said that the priest was prejudiced against him, and everyone was prejudiced against him.The priest said that he got it wrong, but he couldn't tell him the structure of the world directly, and doing so would mean killing him immediately.So the priest just asked K what he planned to do next. K's answer is still the same old tune, he said that he intends to enlist the help of others.The priest pointed out to him that other people's help was useless. Of course K had no choice but to disbelieve, and unintentionally attacked the judge again, but later realized that he was guilty of what he had done, and quickly wanted to change it back.Then the priest yelled at him sternly, and the situation became even more unfavorable for K.So far, the priest has been speaking condescendingly to K from the pulpit.He had to be like this in order to form an overwhelming momentum that frightened K.But after all, the trial is K's own business, and in the end it must be done by K himself, so the priest stepped down from the pulpit L at K's request.They began to pace up and down the dark church side by side.Only at this time did the trial enter the theme, and the previous series of questions and answers were just a prelude.

Since the order of the world cannot be told directly to K, the priest weaves this order into an allegory.The parable seems to negate his life, but not outright; it leaves a lot of gaps, a lot of room for discussion.So around this allegory of human existence, K and the priest discussed it from various aspects in the dark.The core question in this discussion is still: Is the law going to die or to live? Is it possible for K to live without the mask of self-deception?If not, is this deceptive way of living worth continuing?This kind of discussion has an infinitely deep level. No matter how deep one goes, contradictions are still contradictions, and liberation is impossible.Unknowingly, the priest is guiding K to answer his own questions, guiding him to complete his final judgment, and to say the result of the sentence himself.When the iron order of the world has been forged, and when people use their entire lives to enrich the content of the law, if the will of the law tends to kill people, there is no way for human beings to face the iron law.But how touching is the foolish piety of the victim!It's not that even the cruel Fa is moved by it, let him be here!Did you see the brilliance of the Fa before you died?Of course, that's just a human feeling; people can't hold on to hope, and all they can do is validate the Fa unremittingly, generation after generation.One cannot hold on to hope, and one must hold on to hope, in order to be able to complete his mission, and to reach the other shore is also his own glory.Not to mention the self-deceptions of K. Even the gatekeeper in the fable must seduce and tease the peasants with small deceptions, otherwise he would not be able to survive those lonely days.This fable summarizes K's entire pursuit process, but K's life is more vivid and exciting than the fable.From his pursuit process, we can see that the law is K's lifelong ideal or destiny, which not only constrains him but also urges him. He can only use his own actions to realize the law, and the ultimate realization will never be reached; It can be seen that K is a very rational person, no matter where fate pushes him, he has always remained sober.The logical mind is analyzing, judging, and choosing the way of action; we can also see that K is a person with irrational upper hand and strong desire. Something unexpected came.At such times, he is very good at adjusting his rational judgment and immediately adapting it to the changing new situation. K's reason is the gatekeeper in his real life; while his desire, his subconscious, is far more restless and often aggressive than the countryman in the fable.It may be difficult for such a countryman to obediently obey the sentence of death; it is only because he is exhausted that the poet let him rest for a while.This discussion on the law is a most solemn and final judgment.After the priest put K into the order of law, that is, after turning K's life into a fable, the analysis became so transparent, and all kinds of possibilities about life took their place in this order.Even so, there is no limit to the discussion, as long as people want to continue, they can continue, just as people can live as long as they want to live.

K, who has gone through many vicissitudes, finally stood at the highest place in the world with such a priest, to review his unbearable process.Perhaps it was the young man's passion and impulsiveness that made him too gloomy and strict with himself. At this time, emptiness and pessimism prevailed, and all places where his thoughts went were turned into ruins.It seems that he completely broke himself, and he decided that the self-deception is not worth continuing, and he felt that he should make sacrifices to expose the hypocritical foundation of the entire legal system.His sacrifice has the quality of a martyrdom, for an unattainable truth, for an unattainable absolute justice, for an unveiled real life impossible on earth.

3. Who is superior, the countryman or the gatekeeper? The gatekeeper is the supreme symbol of power appointed by the law.His office is unambiguous, his words are irresistible, he existed before the countryman came to the gate of the law, and he existed only to restrain the countryman.Therefore, compared with the country people, his status is extremely superior, and the country people are only his vassals.But the Gatekeeper has several Achilles' heels.One is that he is not hard-hearted in other aspects except for not letting the country people in; he keeps giving the country people small hopes and even teasing the country people, which indirectly shows his dependence on the country people; If the countryman can't bear the loneliness and goes away, he doesn't need to guard the door.The second is that he has a very bad conceit and a tendency to exaggerate. He falsely claimed that he knew the situation inside the law, and even hinted that he might let countrymen in in the future; Because of his simplicity, and because of his simplicity, he performed his gatekeeping duties with less precision.The third is that he is a passive servant of the law, he has no freedom, he is chained to a gate, and this gate is only opened for one person; before the countryman comes to the gate, he sits by the gate and waits for him. , until he comes; he can guard the gate after the countryman comes, and guards until the countryman dies; the meaning of his work is all subject to the countryman, he is the countryman's vassal.

The countryman is at the mercy of the porter, a poor fellow who spends his life with unrealistic fantasies in his mind.He is the victim of a great deception.It was only because the desire in his heart was too strong and persistent that the blow he received was extremely painful.Although he did not give the impression of being superior at all, he had several advantages over the janitor.One is that he is a free person. He comes before the law voluntarily, and he can also leave voluntarily. He is not subject to any discipline, except that he cannot enter the gate of the law.The second is that he is full of emotions. Although he cannot enter the gate, he can always imagine various possibilities and spend time with this imagination, unlike the dry and dull life of the gatekeeper.The third is that he has extremely high comprehension. Although this kind of comprehension failed to allow him to see the Fa, it allowed him to see a beam of light continuously flowing from the gate of the Fa when he was dying, which made him believe in the Fa. A lifetime of waiting is valuable; it is inevitable that people will never see the light of the Dharma.

The discussion about which of these two men is superior is still a discussion about the will of the law.Man can only participate in discussions, but cannot draw conclusions; conclusions are in man's actions as well as in his feelings.4. On both sides of the divide K was about to leave the priest, and a deep gulf separated him from the priest. K was so reluctant to part with the priest, and he was so unwilling in his heart.What is he dissatisfied with?Of course, he is not reconciled to the judgment made by the law.He was no longer able to fight for salvation, but he died with regret.Before the parting, the two sides had a thrilling dialogue, in which every sentence was a pun, and every sentence clarified the will of the Fa. K remained on this shore, the priest disappeared into the darkness on the other; both knew in their hearts that they would soon meet in the same place.

K's love for the priest is love for a transparent idea, the idea is imperious, and it demands K's life to realize that love.K, who also loves life, finally got himself to the point where he was at the end of his rope step by step, and gave up everything he could.Although K emphasized once at the end that he was a bank assistant, it was only out of rebellious nature, and he knew in his heart that this emphasis had completely lost its meaning.The priest finally said to K: The law will not make demands on him.This remark should be understood as: whatever the law requires of K is what K pursues out of his free will; what people are aware of is the requirement of the law.So is the law formulated by humans, or is it something transcendental?It should be said that it is both.Changes in the depths of the soul many years ago led to the germination of the law; once this sprout was realized by people, it immediately developed into a system; the law that developed into a system in turn acted on the depths of people's souls, causing revolution.So the highest officials who have never met, the mysterious codes, etc., all come from that black hole in the soul, and the activities in that place cannot be manipulated by anyone, and no one can figure it out.This makes the Dharma produced in that case have a very transcendental quality.However, this mysterious and hazy law has a flaw, that is, it cannot be directly manifested, and it relies on people's rational consciousness and actions under the guidance of this consciousness to realize itself.So when people carry out that mysterious will, they set up various rules and regulations for themselves, and this kind of system is the appearance of the law.Over time, the soul of man is separated from his external existence.They are separated on both sides of the gap and cannot meet in this life, but there are mysterious messengers flying across the gap, coming and going, conveying the message of the soul to people, so as to regulate people's behavior, and at the same time absorb nutrition from people's life activities , to enrich the soul itself.