Chapter 18 Chapter 17 The Flaming Dance of Death

I will be with you in heaven.The dead know the dead better. How that fire was ignited has not yet been conclusively answered.It literally fell from the sky, and I still find it unreal in retrospect today, like a dream within a dream, blurred and unbelievable.Days later, I am still too saturated to shed a tear with the grief that took away, or brought, the fire that shook the neighborhood. I usually go to bed very late at night, and the noisy and messy day always makes me feel extra tired and tired. Because of my boredom, I always feel that the day is endless. And every day after dinner until late at night, I feel relaxed and happy.I often stay alone quietly, endlessly gliding through many people and things in my mind like playing a movie. In relaxation, I let those picture-like shots flash one after another.During this time, you can still dream, very real dreams.I often don't turn on the light, imagine that I am in a cave, or in the gap of a boulder, I am talking with someone similar to myself, she is breathing and talking very close to me, but I I couldn't see her face or figure, and there was only a vague and heavy darkness around me.I sneak into such a secret and safe place, where time and space are stagnant.I sat on the sofa, or walked back and forth on the carpet, with light steps like a cat, and my movements and words were very cautious, for fear of breaking anything.

I often see many creatures here, for example, I once saw the women of the Ge family lined up in a group of female ghosts, holding a small banner of revenge and shouting at the top of their lungs.Although I didn't hear what she yelled that time, I saw her words from her distorted lips in anger. Her lips were a blood-red flame, and the curve of the flame jumped out. A hieroglyph, through which I read her words. Another time, I saw a huge open-air market after the rain, the mud on the ground made my pant legs, and the vegetables on the stalls were as bright as paper paintings.Countless faces of childhood acquaintances are crowded here.After a while of confusion and uproar, I found that one eye followed me closely in the darkness. I tried to see the whole face and body of the person, but apart from this eye, I could no longer see the body of the person. Any part, that is to say, this person is bald with only one eye left, and it is only this eye that follows me.

I was terrified for a while at first, but I quickly saw that this eye turned out to be my grandma.The peddlers kept cheating me when I was shopping, and the eye next to me would let out a piercing, ghostly chirp.The hawkers frantically searched for the sound. They looked at my lips and found that the scream was not from me. Then they turned to the eye next to me, as if seeing something strange and frightening. Give me your weight.I was very proud of it, going from stall to stall, ostentatiously, and bought a lot of things. Finally, I said into the air, "Grandma, come home with me."

That eye said, "I have been intertwined with the moonlight, and this one of mine will never be broken by a man like a flower petal. Now I live on the roof of the world, and the darkness is my opponent. I Never again will our women's eyes be violently extinguished one by one like lamps." Her voice floated in the wind of an unknown season.Then, her whispers and footsteps floated away, facing the wind of fighting in the dark.That voice becomes a powerful woman's "solo" in a multi-part or polyphonic "chorus"... In the past, the people and things I saw in this illusion that was both true and false were all old people and things in the past.However, that night, I unexpectedly saw He in the dark.

She poked her head out of a door with a book in her hand, and she smiled at me with a beautiful smile like ripples floating on her smooth cheeks.The strange thing is that she didn't wear any clothes, and she just flashed out of the room naked. Under the bright red light of the sky, her smooth skin was like a red fish.However, she did not show any lack of self-confidence or shyness, and she walked past people in the corridor calmly and calmly.I looked at her from a distance, although her face looked a bit haggard, with a kind of drowsiness on her face that suddenly woke up from sleep, but her big blurred eyes were still charming, staring at the front in a unique way, not at all. Unaware that he was naked.I was very surprised, and waved to her anxiously, wanting her to leave here, because this is a place where ghosts often haunt.I called her name, but, I found my voice lost no matter how hard I tried.Also to no avail.I wanted to go forward and push her away, but before she could wait for me to reach her, she leaned back.She was swallowed by the shadows, and her figure disappeared from my sight.

Surrounded by blurry figures swaying, I vaguely hoped that I had seen the wrong person, and continued to patrol in the long and winding corridor, with a layer of witchcraft on people's faces.It was very dark, and I closed my eyes to get directions.I walked up and down the narrow corridor, but I didn't dare to look back. I heard that there is a saying in the countryside that you should not look behind when you walk in a dark place, because there are two "shoulder fires" on your shoulders. If the shoulder fire is on, ghosts will not dare to approach you, but if you turn your head back timidly, your head will turn and you will breathe heavily due to tension, the "shoulder fire" will be blown out, and ghosts will come up haunt you.

At this time, I heard a moan-like breath calling softly around me not far away, because I was eager to find He, so I felt that the sound was very similar to her. The temperature in the corridor suddenly became hot, and I took off my shirt.Then, I found a door, and I saw that it was He's door.I pushed the door open, and I heard the indistinct groan approaching me just now, and the heat in the room rushed towards my face like a fierce wave.I was sweating profusely from the heat, and I was about to collapse. I was out of breath and called He hurriedly. The moaning sound was getting closer and closer, and I followed the sound to a door in the inner room. I was familiar with this door, and it was He's bedroom.I knocked on the door anxiously, but there was no response from inside, so I pushed the door hard.I feel that the door is very hot, and the door frame has been twisted and deformed by the high temperature, and I can't open it no matter what.I could clearly hear the groan coming from the inner room.

I peeped through the keyhole, and I saw a transparent woman-shaped body curled up on the bed, her legs were cramped strangely, her arms were stiffly wrapped around her chest, her hair and eyebrows were all bald, She lay motionless on her side on the bed.There are countless flame-like bright red tongues jumping around her, and the hair on her body is "licked" by those flame-like red tongues.I looked hard at this woman, she didn't look like He, she seemed to be someone else.But I heard her groaning, and that magnetic voice was indeed He's voice. My heart skipped a beat. I shuddered and came back to my senses.

At this moment, I felt a pang of terror, realizing that I had been in a world I hadn't imagined for too long, and I suspected that I had slipped into a mysterious place again, an illegitimate place.Whether everyone else has been "there" I have no way of knowing.But, in retrospect, "there" has been in my head since I was very young, following my steps like the wind, whether I am in the rain, on the street, in the open field or in the crowd , it always flashes in various forms or scenes.It is a bottomless cave, and if I don't try to stop my thoughts in time, my eyes will stretch out endlessly.

Horrified, I interrupted myself in a panic.Then the light was turned on. It was getting late, I stared at the wall clock on the wall for a while, then stood up and wandered around the room absently, feeling an inexplicable uneasiness in my heart, but I didn't know what it was. I'm going to check out my mother's room, then come back and take a shower, relax, and go to bed. When I came to my mother's room, my mother was writing something. I said, "Mom, what are you writing at this late hour?" She hesitated.She smiled embarrassingly, "Hey, I don't want to hide it from you either, I think..." She stopped and hesitated again.

"Say it." I was a little impatient. "I want to find you...a father." After my mother finished speaking, she looked at me uncertainly, waiting for my reaction. I froze for a moment. But after a while, I laughed, "Really? Okay, okay." I laughed for a while, and then said, "However, this person has nothing to do with me. Just give me a wife." My mother said, "Why doesn't it matter to you? I'm a happy ending, and it doesn't matter if my wife or not. But, I have to find you a father. Maybe one day I can't get up, and you will become a father." We are orphans, so what can we do? Our family does not lack a house, what we lack is the people in the house." I said, "Mom, you're so interesting, how old am I! Besides, what a happy end, isn't our peaceful life just beginning." My mother said, "Today I saw a report in the newspaper about a terminally ill doctoral student seeking marriage. He is an only child, 31 years old, and looks good, but he has never found a suitable woman. This matter The matter has almost become a concern of his parents, and he sighs and sighs all day long. A month ago, he learned that he was terminally ill, and the doctor said that he could only live for two years at most. It was a bolt from the blue, and his third reaction was to commit suicide But when he got home and saw his parents who were worried and frail, he felt that he would be sorry for his parents if he waved his hands away like this. They left one offspring. Since he was diagnosed with the disease, he didn't tell his family. He didn't want to break the peace of the family. He just put a marriage advertisement in the newspaper behind their backs, and put his physical condition and wish truthfully. As a result, he got echoes from many women at once. Later, he took a fancy to a female doctor who was full of confidence in his life. Soon after they got married, they gave birth to a little daughter. Although in the end he did not He could choose to escape the fate of death, but after all, he lived happily and left his offspring." "Then... what about that woman?" I said, "Is there any need to praise such a deed? That is to say, we in China will sing praises for such a thing." "That female doctor is what I want. We don't care about its moral judgment. I'm just saying, it's inspiring. I said, "So, you are going to post a marriage notice?" " Mother paused for a while, "Isn't this just chatting with you?" At this time, the mother may be tired from talking, and she is a little out of breath, and her breathing seems tense and labored. Her exaggerated panting seemed to affect me, and I involuntarily took a deep breath. Suddenly, I smelled a burnt smell in the air. It was indeed an unforgettable night, so remote and vague, as if by my instinct's constant refusal to remember it, a kind of fiction, always lost among the other calamities of the year. In that dead year, the flame of memory was not extinguished only by my strong reason.For a long time, I have been looking for a way to put down the memory of this year, but the air and wind seem to have given a secret order, and there are always old houses in front of me, with closed curtains and rusty iron bars; Or a piece of winding old trees dense forest, vaguely like a screen, so that I can't get close to the open space in the gap, close to the square, I can't let go of this burden. I can only carry these memories heavily in my heart, go around in circles, and walk back and forth along the safe road, to no avail.All I could do was to deliberately step hard in the silence, making it an unbearable sound to some, and I imagined that the footsteps would eventually find an echo. Originally, this year's miasma has been enough to erase the original true shape of many things.However, God seems to think that it is not enough. On this late winter night, the thick gray smoke completely submerged my life. The "drama" intensified and spread throughout the country. That night, the smoke that filled the air suddenly interrupted my conversation with my mother. I first noticed that my mother's face was blurred like a blurry photo, her facial features seemed to be out of place, and her nose, eyes and mouth were all moving by themselves.I rubbed my eyes and looked at her vigorously. The outline of her face really seemed to be in a bathroom with strong steam, and the image was blurred.In fact, she was still sitting on the soft chair in front of the desk and did not change her position.But her figure seemed to be covered with a layer of mosquito nets or gauze curtains, and she shrank to a position farther away than before, making it difficult for me to see clearly. The sight startled me.For lately there have been strange scenes in my mind, which have plunged me into a kind of inexplicable terror of unreality.So, at this time, I first doubted whether what I saw was real. Until my mother asked, "What's with the smoke?" With the strong burnt smell, my mother and I discovered the smoke that suddenly filled the room almost at the same time. I looked towards the door and found that the smoke came in through the crack of the door. I said, "Mom, is there someone lighting a stove in the corridor?" As I said that, I walked over and opened the door. As the door opened, billows of smoke crept into the room along my feet and legs. I'm in between glances.Seeing that the dim light in the corridor was completely swallowed by the smoke, the smoke gnawed at the oxygen like sawtooth.I coughed and couldn't breathe.Immediately closed the door. At this time, there was a chaotic and noisy running sound in the corridor, mixed with indistinct yelling. "Run, run, run..." My mother and I quickly exchanged glances and knew that something had happened to the building we lived in. "Mom, we have to run." Nervously, my voice seemed out of tune, as if it was coming from another person's throat. My mother held her chest and inhaled hard, "Where are you going? The elevator has been closed long ago and no one is there. It's full of smoke outside, so I can't breathe." Panting, she said, "If the source of the fire is on the ground floor, we are not Jump into the fire pit! The smoke and fire are going up, so it can't be our problem upstairs, something must have happened downstairs." She said with difficulty. My mother is indeed a woman who is not disturbed, and she still has a stable reason in such moments. "But, listen," I panicked, "everyone is running downstairs." At this time, the noise of footsteps in the corridor and the sound of iron basins and wooden boxes being kicked became louder, and something was smashed. Because my mother was holding her breath, she rushed to the window and quickly opened the window. I was the second to jump over, "Mom, you can't open the window." I suddenly remembered that this was mentioned in the newspaper. I heard the wind outside, and the loud hissing instantly covered the noise in the building, "We can only escape from this building." I closed the window involuntarily, pulled my mother up and ran out the door. The billowing smoke in the corridor immediately engulfed me and my mother, my eyes were pierced and tears flowed out, I held her hand tightly, but within a short distance, I could no longer see her figure.In the turbid smoke, I heard the sound of fleeing footsteps all around me, as well as the sound of people hitting some obstacles heavily, but I couldn't see the people clearly either, I just groped and ran downstairs along the flow of people. The air in the corridor became very thin, and the sound of coughing and terrified shouts filled the air along with the smoke.I couldn't open my mouth to say anything, the suffocation felt like an iron clamp stuck in my throat.I was worried that my mother would collapse due to suffocation, so I held her arm tightly and ran downstairs. It is said to be running, but in fact it is just groping. I noticed that thick smoke mixed with hot air was spreading upwards from downstairs, and the boundless fog was like buoyant salt sea water, supporting us upwards, the harder you slide down, the more buoyant force will be lifted upwards It lifts our steps and makes it difficult for us to walk down the stairs.But we have to go down with tentative steps, the exit of life is there.It feels like every other absurd paradox we have in life. At this time, I felt that the arm holding my mother was getting heavier and heavier, and my mother was about to fall down. "Jump...jump..." Mother struggled in and out of several spaces. I understand what she's talking about.Because at this time, we just groped to the corner of the stairs, and a ray of moonlight was shining through the windows that were closed in winter.In the past, the moon was like a silvery round eye, twinkling in the indigo sky.But at this moment, its halo is like the eyes of a dead man, leaving a lingering light at the corner of our narrow corridor. I know what my mother meant, if it's really not possible, we'll jump out of the corridor window. My mother must have lost her head.Our house is on the eleventh floor, and it is only one and a half floors down now, and it is on the ninth and a half floor.Jumping from here is tantamount to suicide. I ignored her, just desperately grabbed her and fled downstairs.We groped around, but my slippers were nowhere to be found. I was staggering with bare feet, and there was only one thought in my mind: to run out. Strangely, at this time, I vaguely recalled an event from a long time ago. When I was still in middle school, for a while, I felt that life was completely boring, and I thought about death all day long.However, I don't go around saying "want to die" like many people who want to die.I just think silently.Later, I finally wanted to "mature". One day, I came home from outside and solemnly said to my mother, "I've made up my mind that life is meaningless, and I don't want to live anymore." My mother looked at me in shock. She looked at me for a long time, but she was not in a hurry to say anything. So, I emphasized my tone and said repeatedly, "I really thought about it, life is meaningless!" After a long time, my mother finally said, "Really? Did you think it over?" I nodded firmly and said "yes." As I spoke, my big tears fell. My mother is indeed an extraordinary woman who has read a lot of books. She listened to what I said, and did not panic, persuade and stop her children with problems like other mothers. She has enough knowledge Dealing with a "problem child".She thought about it for a while, and then, like me, she put on a mature look and said, "Mommy loves you very much, and you should know that. But if you've already made up your mind to die, then no one will see." I can't help you, China is so big, the Yangtze River and the Yellow River are not covered. It's just that my mother will be very sad." Next, it was my turn to be shocked, and I choked on my mother's words.Yes, not to mention the Yangtze River and the Yellow River, even the small river ditch in front of our house has not been covered.Dying is easy.I fell silent. From then on, I never mentioned the matter of "wanting to die" to my mother. At this time, we have already explored another layer.I tugged and tugged, tightly holding on to my mother who was about to suffocate and faint. Suddenly, I found that the smoke on this floor was visibly thinner, and the burning sensation on my skin from being smoked by the thick smoke was also reduced.As we groped further and further down, it was time to catch our breath. It dawned on me that we had passed the floor where the accident happened.As if I was saved suddenly, I excitedly said to my mother, "Okay, we can go out, let's persevere." Sure enough, when we turned down to the next floor, the air was gradually clear, and the faint lights in the corridor were also shining brightly.My mother finally took a few long breaths and spoke. "Nine floors," she said, "or eight." My mother and I estimated that something might have happened on the eighth or ninth floor. When we finally left the doorway of the building and stood amidst the wind in the late winter night, I saw that the outside was already full of dark crowds.Some of them crawled out of the quilt and fled outside before they had time to put on their clothes, shivering and wrapped in the quilt;Because my mother and I are used to going to bed late, we are still wearing sweaters.However, when the cold wind blows, we still feel that there is only a thin layer of paper on our bodies. The cold air is like countless cool worms, burrowing into the bones from all parts of our body, getting deeper and deeper. I began to search for He's figure in the crowd with my eyes.Frightened black faces slipped past my sight, and the crowd who ran out of the thick smoke dancing the dance of death, looked at our building dumbfoundedly like vegetative people.Find the location of the fire. I couldn't find He, so I panicked, thinking that the source of the fire might be on her floor, and thinking of how she was lying on the bed in that green pajamas, my head suddenly caught fire. At this time, the roaring firetruck came rushing forward with dazzling lights.Crowds, trees, and buildings all turned a dazzling orange.The sky was that unnatural cobalt blue, and there seemed to be countless dead eyes floating above, and they blew on the earth with their cold swishing lips. We were immediately ordered to retreat to an open space across the road 200 meters away, and we were not allowed to approach our building.I was mixed among a group of men who were going back to the building to find their family members or ask for something. I struggled to run in the direction of the building, but was firmly blocked.We were crowded together, unable to move. I raised my head and prayed sincerely in my heart to let He Ping An let He Ping An, while trembling unceasingly. Two firefighters climbed up the wall along the rope. They entered the burning room to save people.I fixed my eyes on them.I saw these two small green flame-like shadows on the wall of the building like two geckos running, reaching the ninth floor in a few leaps.Then, at the place where I was most afraid of them stopping - on He's balcony - I used iron hooks to hang the body that was swinging in the air.Then turn around and enter. My heartbeat seemed to be hit by some sharp weapon, and it shrank suddenly, and it became dull in the coagulated blood vessels. It goes without saying that something happened to He's room. I stood still and couldn't move.Suddenly, I burst into tears uncontrollably. Next, countless faucets flowed out with my tears. After a scuffle, a torrent of water rolled down the stairs from the upstairs, and overflowed from the entrance of the corridor in a black whistling manner.Then, I saw two firefighters come out carrying a parry. The naked pink body, or the indistinct flesh of all human shapes, lay flat on the stretcher and moved slowly. There was a commotion among the crowd. A firefighter yelled at us, "Who are the family members of 905?" 905 is He's room. I felt my head and feet swell, my eyes were hot, and my hands were cold. I kept reminding myself that it was the illusion that was attacking me again.Everything in front of me is not real.But my mother was right next to me with her arms around me, her hands tightly wrapped around my arms. I know that all this is real. When the stretcher moved from the other side of the street to our side, there was a sudden roar in my head, and the sound disappeared between my ears, and the figures, street lights, and our building shook. Then my eyes went dark, I couldn't see or hear anything, and I collapsed to the ground. In a trance, only the shrill sound of the wind calling He's name was deafening, covering up all the noise.All the people disappeared amidst the roar, only He's figure floated like a dazzling halo... It was not until later, long after the fire broke out, that I heard that the source of the fire was caused by He's broken refrigerator...