Chapter 17 Chapter 16 The Jumping Apple

My mother finally followed her wish and insisted on going to the hospital alone to see a doctor.Although I have repeatedly said that the courses in the academy do not matter, I can graduate with my eyes closed.But she still insisted that I not go with her. After the mother came back from the hospital, she downplayed it and said that the doctor had done a comprehensive examination such as X-rays for her. Initially, it was believed that the heart load was aggravated. The problem is not serious now, but if it is not controlled, heart valve insufficiency will occur, such as Aortic valve or mitral valve insufficiency causes left ventricular diastolic load to increase, which can eventually lead to left ventricular dysfunction.The doctor prescribed some digitalis cardiotonic agents and diuretics to reduce the preload, and told her to go to the hospital for high-flow oxygen inhalation if necessary.

For the next period of time, my mother rested every day and took medicine on time. Her physical condition has obviously stabilized, so I was relieved. After meeting Yin Nan, I often met him in the dining room at noon, and we always sat down to have lunch together.However, our relationship has gradually undergone a subtle change. When I saw him for the first time, I was almost completely shocked by his beautiful face and charming appearance. The visually beautiful aesthetic experience quickly expanded and expanded in my heart, occupying my whole thinking.But slowly, this impulsive sensibility calmed down and transformed into a stable and long-lasting love.I still have a good impression of him, but I only miss him when it is near noon and it is time to eat.

"Subtle changes" happened to Yin Nan. Every time I met him, he always sat in the same place, deliberately burying his head in his meal and not looking at me.When I approached him, he didn't even look up, until I said, "Good afternoon" or "I'm here", he suddenly raised his head, pretending to see me suddenly, and said "Hello" . I say he's "pretending" because I have enough "evidence" that he's just making a gesture, an inner cover-up.His fingers acted as his betrayers. Every time, he always eats while reading a newspaper.When I approached him, although his eyes were focused on the newspaper, one of his hands stayed on the dining table, beating the drum lightly at an anxious speed that had nothing to do with reading and eating .The closer I got to him, the faster his fingers tapped on the table.When the shadow of my head landed on his newspaper, his fingers suddenly stopped tapping, half-clenched tightly, his skinny bones and fingertips trembled uncontrollably.However, he didn't look up, he just waited for me to make a sound, and then he acted casually as if he suddenly "discovered" that I was coming.

However, one of his hands betrayed his heart quietly, and his hand undoubtedly revealed his inner anxiety and expectation.The expression of his fingers was in stark and peculiar contrast to the deliberately indifferent expression on his face. I don't expose anything.These actions make me think he is very cute.I know that he actually wants to see me just as I want to see him. He is waiting for my "good afternoon" every noon, just my voice.Just enough to cover his appetite for all meals. Yin Nan and I met each other by chance in the dining room for a period of time, and gradually got to know each other, and he relaxed a little.

Finally one day, he asked me to play in the suburbs on weekends.I happily agreed. Yin Nan originally planned to pick me up in my room, and then we would go out together. However, I don't want to invite him to my house right away, and besides, my mother is not in good health recently, and it is not suitable for me to see my friends.I made an appointment with him, and I said I would wait for him downstairs in my house. The winter has been exceptionally warm this year, and the weekend was a fine day with clear, sunny skies.At ten o'clock in the morning, when I came downstairs on time, I was holding a down jacket in my hand, and I was only wearing a cashmere sweater.

Before going out, I stood in front of the mirror and took a good look at myself. I put on and took off several clothes back and forth, tried several times, and finally chose this silver-gray cashmere sweater. I saw my early paper-thin body, and the stick-like arms and legs I called "not group" and "yes group" when I was a child, obviously rounded up, and my breasts under the shirt quietly bulged .I looked at the young and beautiful woman in the mirror, and I saw that she turned around suddenly, and when she turned back from the mirror again, her close-fitting clothes had already been taken off, or disappeared. fly.Her naked upper body was exposed in the mirror without any scruples, her dark red nipples glistened as if bathed in the sun, and those smooth white breasts followed my gaze, like two round sunflowers following The rays of the sun.

I know that sometimes I am a person who is easy to fall in love with myself, but what happened next really surprised me, even surprised me. I saw my feather-light body floating over from the distant misty horizon, paralyzed in the arms of a person, and that person looked exactly like Yin Nan.I floated here with tears streaming down my face, whimpering softly.He stroked my cheeks and forehead gently, trying to calm me down.As soon as I touched his chest, I felt a strong desire to be captured.I have never met such a young embrace before, nor have I experienced such a willingness to lose myself. in age.His youth disturbed me greatly.

At this time, I heard a strange voice imitating Yin Nan's voice saying, "You are indeed different." I said, "You found out?" The voice said, "You are charming, pure and noble." I said, "I'm not pure. You don't know who I am." The voice said, "I understand you." I said, "You don't understand. You don't know how shameless I was with lust." The voice said, "I like your naivety and brazenness." I said, "You're too young to understand me. I'm old." The voice said, "I know you, I've known you for a long time, I've been watching you."

I said, "Where is the observation?" The voice said, "Your cheeks, your eyes, your lips and your breasts..." At this time, I felt a pair of soft and cold fingertips gently touch and stroke my face and breasts... A burst of dizziness hit me, and I opened my eyes suddenly. I saw in the mirror that my own hands were caressing the young woman in the mirror... At ten o'clock sharp I came downstairs.Yin Nan was already standing at the stairs and waiting for me. I walked a few steps closer to him and said, "Have you been kept waiting for a long time?" Yin Nan didn't say anything, just smiled mysteriously.

He led me to a blue and black Imperial car, opened the right front door, and said, "Get in the car, please." I was a little surprised, I glanced at the car, there was no driver, and there was no sign of a taxi.I leaned in wondering, and sat in the car. At this time, Yin Nan had already walked around to the other side of the car door, sat on the driver's seat, closed the car door smoothly, and started the engine. I looked at him in astonishment.I said, "Is this your car? Can you drive?" Yin Nan just secretly smugly and mysteriously did not answer my question. The car drove forward along the sun-dappled road, out of the block where my house was located, quickly got on the third ring road, and then drove rapidly along the spacious road.Roadside shops, sycamore trees, and scattered houses fell backward like a gust of wind.I saw that the speedometer on the car had reached 140 kilometers per hour, and I was a little worried.

I said, "Don't drive so fast, something will happen." Yin Nan didn't say anything, didn't look back, just continued to drive quickly. I am in a hurry. I know that everything today is carefully planned by him. He wants to show off his driving skills to me and impress me that he drives very fast. So I said, "Okay, you've scared me." After our car turned into a fork, he finally slowed down. This is a small road leading to the eastern suburbs.Very quiet.The sun slanted on my cheeks unobstructed, so I put my hands on my forehead to try to block some of the harsh light. At this time, I found that Yin Nan was quietly leaning the car as far as possible into the shade of the roadside.I was a little touched by his carefulness. I put my hand down and said, "It's okay, it's just a little bit bright." He said, "Let's go to the shade as much as possible, so that you don't keep raising your hands like you're saluting someone endlessly." I laughed.It was the first time he made me feel his humor. We drove for a long time, and outside the car gradually lost the dazzling cityscape and the noisy flow of people, and there were barren open land on both sides, and some dilapidated houses like warehouses or huts. We didn't talk much more along the way.I don't want to express my curiosity, such as when he learned to drive, the owner of this car and so on.I just observed every subtle movement of his driving very carefully, for fear of missing something, so that along the way, my eyes were so tired that my head was a little dizzy, and I had to close my eyes and lean on the back of the seat Rest for a while to slow down.As if I was an intern who was learning driving skills so seriously. When I closed my eyes and was about to relax, I only felt a flash of the car in the blur and slid to the side of the road. Then Yin Nan stopped the car in the shade, turned off the engine, and turned to me. "Are you unwell?" he asked with concern. I said, "No, just a little blurry." "Let's rest for a while." Yin Nan said, turning on the tape recorder in the car.It happened to be the song "The end of the world" which I like very much. Why does the sun on shining? (Why does the sun keep shining?) Why does the sea rush to share? (Why is the sea still rushing to the bank?) Don't they know (they don't know) It's the end of the world. ． . (It's the end of the world...) Why does my heart go on beating? (Why does my heart keep beating?) Why do these eyes of mine cry? (Why are there tears in my eyes?) Don't they know (They don't understand) It's the end of the world. (It's the end of the world) It ended when you said goodbye. (Everything will end when you say "goodbye".) This calm sentimental mood has not been exchanged for my tears.I just listened quietly, feeling a little heavy in my heart. I opened my eyes and looked out the car window. The golden sunlight was chasing the scorched leaves and running on the ground. The bright and brilliant yellow was as dazzling as a burnt flame.My eyes were sore, and I was so irritated that tears overflowed, so I wiped it with my fingers. Yin Nan leaned over sensitively, tilted her head and stared at me. After looking at me for a while, he said, "Are you crying?" I said, "Who's crying! I don't know what's wrong with my eyes." After finishing speaking, none of us said anything, just listened to the song quietly. I probably got some kind of hint. Listening to it, I felt inexplicably sad, but I really started crying, and I couldn’t stop crying, and the more I cried, the more sad I became. I still don't know what it was for.But I know that my tears have nothing to do with Yin Nan. For a moment, I felt very embarrassed and turned my head away from Yin Nan. At this time, one of Yin Nan's hands was gently wrapped around my shoulder, as if his arm had lost its weight, as if that arm hadn't protruded from his body and had nothing to do with him, as if He himself does not participate in the emotion of his arm.This tentative movement caused a reaction in my body, and I was driven by a subtle gravitational force. The inexplicable gravitational force was like a huge and boundless drowsiness, which I couldn't resist. So, I slowly leaned on his shoulder. His hand got my echo, and it showed its original strength. It was held on my arm, and its fingers kept pinching.Then, his other hand came up and wrapped around my upper body.However, his movements are extraordinarily gentle, not the kind of uncontrollable intensity, but at the same time have a strong uneasy exploratory nature.Perhaps it was his inexperience, perhaps his embarrassment, and he contented himself with stroking my arms, neck, and cheeks for a long time, with great restraint.I noticed that he even managed to keep his breathing as steady as possible. He didn't want me to see him lose his composure all of a sudden. We dawdled like this for a while, and then.One of his hands slipped to my chest and began to unbutton me. At this time, his movements were very slow, like a calm general, leading the army to recover his own lost ground very confidently, without the blind impulsiveness and out-of-control attitude of a little boy at all.The shy and self-respecting manner he displayed aroused great pity and affection for me.With one hand free, I helped him unbutton the bottom of his clothes, and a gust of cool air penetrated into my crotch.Then I raised my head, and in the rearview mirror I saw an apple-like breast popping out suddenly. This young breast was full of juice, fresh and crisp, and full of elasticity. It was bouncing under the sunlight. Swing a few times.Next, I saw Yin Nan's hand in the mirror, that hand lightly touched the breast, and hurriedly covered my skirt, as if worried about being peeped by others.That hand fastened all the buttons of my clothes, and lifted my collar up, and then stopped.But it didn't leave my chest, as if it was just taking a short break, reluctant to let the good show all at once. I say this because what follows confirms this. The hand calmed down for a while, then resumed unbuttoning me.After I saw that "apple" jump out again from the rearview mirror, that hand touched it lightly, and then covered my skirt again.It seems that he is only intoxicated with this short and precious viewing and touching, and does not want to destroy his aesthetically-established affection for me due to greed and unrestrained desire. When I went home later, I was still deeply moved when I recalled this scene.I don't feel at all that this innocent act is shallower than that kind of indulgent behavior, whether it is a psychological experience or a physical experience.I think this feat is actually more profound.I am obsessed with reminiscing about this scene over and over again, using slow motion to elongate every detail, for fear that I will forget it after a certain period of time. I am immersed in a naive and romantic experience for a long time.Looking forward to the future.That day, we lingered and rested in the car for about an hour.In the end, Yin Nan gave me a light but long kiss on my left earlobe with a strange seriousness that was almost pious, and then let go of me, and sat straight beside me, like a passenger. The boy, holding the steering wheel, started the car. We drove along the bare winter road in the fields, the dappled sunlight sprinkled on the gray road, jumping and enthusiastically leading the way in front of our car.While enjoying the rustic scenery of the countryside, I held Yin Nan's hand that kept extending to me. While driving, he kept turning his head to me, his eyes resting on my face and body intimately, he stared at me for a while, smiled, and then turned his head towards the front of the car.But, after a while, he would turn his head to look at me again.His longing eyes were like his light fingertips touching my limbs. I was worried that there might be an accident while driving like this, so I finally couldn't help but say, "Don't keep looking at me, look ahead." He didn't say anything, just smiled, then stopped looking at me, just slid a hand off the steering wheel towards me, and grabbed my hand. We became silent again, only the slight friction sound of the car on the rough road, like a boat wandering in the sea. The rural scenery passed before my eyes, golden haystacks, withered bare trees, empty farmhouses and swaying winter wheat, all of which have a unique charm that is completely different from the urban landscape. Finally I couldn't help myself, and I said, "I like the country." Yin Nan said, "You mean the scenery of the countryside?" I said, "Not just viewing from a distance, I like living in the country." "It's quiet living in this kind of place, no one knows who you are," he said. "I don't like people knowing who I am," I said. Yin Nan hesitated for a while, then said, "You mean you like to live in seclusion? But why do you want to live in seclusion? We are so young, and the world is beckoning to us!" I said, "It's too tiring and too dangerous to live among the crowd. China's interpersonal relationship is simply a huge maze. To pass through this maze is not based on knowledge, talent and intelligence, but other things. I can't do anything. " "Of course, in order to achieve big things, in addition to the knowledge we have accumulated, to survive, we must first learn to speculate and have a thick skin. I am learning this now. I heard that in Japan, a person who will do big things in the future, regardless of political circles Still in the business world, the last training he has to receive is to stand on the street and shout in the crowd: 'I'm a grandson! I'm a bastard!' You think, what else can you do to such a person?" "That is to say, in the end, it all depends on who can be more shameless and even more disrespectful! But, do you know how much he has to bear psychologically? " "So, I say we need to learn this lesson." "Why do you need to tire yourself like this. It's good to avoid it." "Yes. Men are different from women. You can hide here, but I have to face and bear it." Since we met, it was the first time that I discovered the strength hidden in Yin Nan's shy appearance. I gave him a slightly surprised look, and after a while, I said, "Of course. Of course I understand. " At this moment, Yin Nan stopped talking, as if suddenly jumped out of some hard thinking, and turned his head to me, "It's so boring to say these things, why are we talking about them together. Oh, you know..." He As he spoke, he turned his eyes away from my face and turned to the road ahead. "what do you know?" He didn't answer me immediately.He looked at the road ahead, as if he was speeding up. I asked again, "Know what?" Yin Nan lowered her voice and said, "I, like you!" I didn't know what to say for a while, so I didn't say anything. "Very... like it, don't you realize?" he continued. "Of course... I know." I don't want to talk too much about the relationship between the two.I think "relationship" is not negotiated, it is formed naturally. So I shifted the conversation and I said, "Why didn't you tell me you could drive?" "There are many more, and I didn't tell you." He said, and took out his driver's license from his coat pocket, "Look, this is what I passed the exam last summer. This is my brother's car. I drove it secretly today. Come out. He has a lot of money, but no big goals. He pinned his hopes on me." I said, "It seems that you have a heavy responsibility and you are someone who wants to do big things." Yin Nan didn't answer me, but turned her head and looked at me with a shy smile that I'm very used to. I said again, "You are such a mysterious person." At this time, it was getting late, and I felt a little hungry.So, I began to pay attention to the restaurant outside the car window. Yin Nan said, "Let's drive back to the city and find a good place." I said, "Is it your brother's money too?" "He is willing to give it to me and be my rear, why not. I have many ideas, maybe you will say this is a dream, even if it is a dream, what's wrong with it." "What dream?" He chuckled, "Many. You can be regarded as one of my dreams. Whatever you think, I feel like I'm not one anymore, but two. " Soon we were in the city, and the car slowed down, weaving through the bustling avenues on the eve of the Chinese New Year. My mind was stuck on his "two people", and I didn't seem to respond to the changes in the street outside the car window.His words were like a flame, an intoxicating drug.I felt a new energy surge in my body. Before we got off the car in the parking lot, Yin Nan seemed to have a sudden burst of courage, grabbed my shoulders, pressed his cheek to my face, and said in a low, almost whispering voice, "Would you like me?" with me?" Although it was a question, he didn't intend to listen to my answer, because then he hugged me tightly, kissed my lips, and blocked my answer with his lips made of sweet rubber.In the small space of the car, he sucked the fragrance contentedly, like a cute and huge frog, breathing desperately, excitedly and noisily. I touched his strong ribs, and the ribs were like clear fingers, squeezing my chest, and the metal-like crisp thumping sound came out from the gap between his ribs, piercing straight to the soil of my heart .This huge and warm rib frame is flaring outwards, as if it is a big country with great ambitions, always ready to swallow up, to be more precise, to welcome or contain a small country. His fingers tremblingly stroked my back, and he mumbled something.Then, I felt the trembling in his palm spread to his whole body, and he hugged me more and more awkwardly and stiffly.I know that only true love can make him so excited, clumsy, restrained and restrained. We had a long and exhausting hug. We finally got out of the car. Under a creaking bare tree in front of you, there is a strange sound of flute wafting.A blind old man with sunken eyes was blowing vigorously, his beard was shaking constantly, his face was frozen, his upper body was shaking, his bones were rattling, and the out-of-tuned flute sounded along the treetops, cables and bright yellow The sun floats up into the sky, and the wind blows it up into the blue sky. The sound is like a dazzling light that makes people feel confused. While playing his flute indiscriminately towards the sun, he shouted in a hoarse and dry voice: "I come from a far away place, a far away place, I have seen, I have seen war coming like clouds... Many people stretched out Their young tongues... eyeballs are as bright as stars on the earth..." He tore his clothes and scattered the pieces on the ground, and the wind scattered them, "Look, so many young tongues are scattered all over the ground, and they continue to sing on the ground...their eyeballs are rolling like grapes. rupture……" At this time, he suddenly "saw" Yin Nan and I passing by him, and grabbed Yin Nan's hand, a strange light radiated from his blind eyes, "You have half a head..." Then he turned his head towards me, "You only have one leg... run, run, run..." "Madman." I was so frightened that I pulled Yin Nan up and ran away. The blind man's shrieks grew more terrifying behind us.