Chapter 13 Chapter Thirteen

A person who has been on the road for a long time will forget where he came from and where he is going.I know the first meeting, but I can't foresee the final parting. In the past, I just felt that life is too short, so don't leave too many regrets.So every step is startling, even if it is an ordinary scene, ordinary emotion, treat each other with heart.Later, when I got older, I realized that everything in the world cannot be forced.I am used to seeing the passing of the sun and the moon, the changes of clutches and reunions, but I have a casual mood and a calm state. At that time, I always thought that Sanmao's wandering had nothing to do with anyone.She is like a proud and humble grass in the desert, stubbornly living alone.She never really runs for anyone, nor does she really stop for anyone, she only cares for her heart.Reading Sanmao now, it seems that it is not like this.She is too casual and indulgent, and she regards the encounters in this life as the causes of past lives.Her walking seemed to be rushing to one agreement after another, and in the end, she buried all her emotions with her own hands.

Sanmao left Germany and came to the United States.She applied for a study opportunity majoring in ceramics at the University of Illinois in Chicago, USA.This year, San Mao was twenty-eight years old.She didn't know what she was looking for, and she left her German boyfriend Jorgen because emotion could no longer have his place.She is looking forward to a reunion where her heart is tied, so that she can live up to the vicissitudes of life. A suitcase is all her luggage.Tossing and turning in the world, Sanmao has long been fearless of the world's wind and rain, nor resisting all kinds of life.The girl who had only one window and a piece of scenery in the past has been washed away by the passing years.In this prosperous foreign land, in this vast world, she can still dream alone, and she is still young.

Sanmao is well aware of the hardships of life and cherishes money.She feels that money may not be valued too much, but it must be cherished.So when she came to the United States, the first thing she did was to find a job and be self-sufficient.After several years of wandering, she felt deeply guilty towards her family. She hoped that she could come and go freely like a cloud, without worries. Sanmao is in the library of the Law Department of the University of Illinois, responsible for the classification of Anglo-American law.Working for her is just to make a living, so I never feel the need to invest too much emotion.All she can do is to work as hard as she can in exchange for the reward she deserves.It is said that on the first day she went to work, she made a joke and stamped 200 wrong stamps on 200 pages of the book.The date is: October 36th!

Sanmao's cousin in the United States has a Chinese friend who is also studying for a Ph.D. in chemistry at the University of Illinois.Sanmao's cousin entrusted the doctor to take care of his lonely cousin.Since then, this kind and honest doctor has taken great care of Sanmao. "Every day during the break at noon, my cousin is always a good classmate. He delivered a paper bag on time, which contained a rich sandwich, a hard-boiled egg, and a piece of fruit." It can be seen that the doctor is a careful and gentle man .In this strange city, there is a man who cares about him so meticulously.How can San Mao, who is lonely and sentimental, remain indifferent.

Sanmao used to be a loser in love.Back then, she was forced to leave her hometown because of a broken relationship.But why, in the past few years abroad, she has become a proud goddess.So many men are willing to be the plants under her skirt.And she has always been unwilling to amaze the city for anyone. This blue butterfly with broken wings is still unable to find a place where she can live.Sanmao is the kind of woman who can be moved easily, but refuses to give in.The emotion she wants should be a man who never tires of seeing each other, a man she is willing to lower her eyebrows for and be humble for.Those green leaves that brushed by around me are clouds after all.

Sanmao knew what the Chinese doctor wanted, but she didn't say it.She made herself open to his care.She felt that some words, spoken out, would hurt instead.But he still said it after all. Although it was very tactful, Sanmao was still extremely melancholy after hearing it, "Now I take care of you, when will you start cooking for me and our children?" This is really a sentence that should not be said lightly.In Sanmao's heart, she is only willing to wash her hands and make soup for a man. He is her first love, Shu Fan.Even if one day Shu Fan comes to look for her again, she still refuses to look back.Sanmao remembered what the boy named Jose said in Spain, and he was willing to promise her a safe life.

Sanmao's cousin wanted to be the old man under the moon holding the red line, so he called many times, hoping that Sanmao would not miss this excellent and down-to-earth man.At that time, there were many female classmates who admired the doctor, but he fell in love with Sanmao.In this world, the most difficult thing to interpret is emotion. No one can control the fate and encounter between people. Sanmao knew that he was a rare man, and he couldn't find any reason why he was bad.But asking her to compromise what she doesn't want to do is so wronged and sentimental.Whenever at this time, she couldn't use words to prevaricate, so she could only cry.Love is a matter between two people. If any one of them feels the slightest displeasure, they will not be happy together.

Many people who have gone through a thousand sails think that sometimes love is not important.As long as they are together, there is a support, and it is a kind of happiness to spend the fleeting years peacefully.Ordinary people may be able to do this, but Sanmao's heart is hard to accommodate.She pursues an extreme, a kind of willingness.In fact, what she wants is not much, but the love between the two will last forever.But love is always so stingy, unwilling to give happiness to all beings easily. "Why does my heart seem to be dead?" Facing their marriage proposal, Sanmao was in such a mood.She felt that her heart was as silent as death, without waves.The world is bustling and full of scenery, so many red and green men and women, so passionately in love.She really shouldn't, shouldn't wake up alone.

One day, Sanmao told the doctor that there was no need to send anything tomorrow.Because she is leaving the United States and returning to her hometown of Taiwan.Some love will end sooner or later.Some people are doomed to fail. Seeing Yiyi off at the airport is heartbreaking.The doctor still infatuatedly said to Sanmao: "Shall we get married? You go back, and I will return to Taiwan after the holiday." In fact, his heart is as clear as a mirror. This woman, as long as she turns around, will be separated from him forever.Don't say it's a joint marriage. It's hard to predict that they will meet each other far away in the future.

Sanmao didn't say a word, the silence replaced her mood.The moment she turned around, she straightened the collar of his coat, not intending to hurt him, but it still hurt a little after all.Let go of love and hate, pack your bags, and go back to your hometown.Years ago, she planted a dream there, but she didn't know if it had blossomed or not. In five years, this city is still so young, with only a little change in appearance.On the temples of the parents, a few strands of white hair have been added.They looked at their daughter returning from afar, who was mature and calm compared to a few years ago, and they couldn't help feeling sad and happy in their hearts.The girl who fled because of love back then has already learned to cherish herself.

Sanmao, a student who returned to China with honor, returned to his alma mater, the Chinese Culture Institute, with a German diploma from the Goethe-Institut, and became a German teacher.Later, San Mao taught in several schools, political cadre schools, and family colleges in Taipei. One day, Sanmao sat at home and wrote.A Spanish friend came to visit and brought news of Jose.Jose asked him to forward a photo and a letter.In the photo, a bearded man in swimming trunks was catching fish on the beach.He is strong and burly, and Sanmao said he is the sea god in Greek mythology. The letter reads: "I want to tell you a secret. On the snowy night when I was 18 years old, you told me that you would never see me again. You know that young man lay on his pillow and shed tears all night, wanting to Suicide? After so many years, do you still remember me? My appointment with you is six years." This infatuated sea god was none other than Jose, the big boy in Spain.The long years have passed, and it has been six years.Sanmao has almost forgotten the six-year agreement He Xi made back then, and now holding the photo in her hand reminds her of that snowy night when they parted.The boy who turned around and looked back, his love for her, is it really the same as before? Sanmao didn't reply to the letter, and only asked her friend to send her faint thanks and blessings.Six years ago, she rejected He Xi, and six years later, she still couldn't make the appointment.In Sanmao's heart, he thought it was a losing bet.She can't afford to lose. The rainy season no longer comes.But the rain in Taipei always seems to fall on unintentional days.This familiar city reminded her a lot.No. 7, Section 1, Wuchang Street, Taipei, there is a star coffee shop, which once had a good memory of Sanmao.This is where Sanmao, his first love, Shu Fan, and some literary friends gather. Sanmao, who has been wandering for several years, came here just to have a cup of coffee and relive yesterday's story.Little did they know, this long-lost coffee shop did not reunite with her old friend, but gave her another beautiful and tragic encounter.This is a necessary journey in Sanmao's life, she cannot escape after all, the catastrophe of fate. "People who have been drifting should have improved in behavior. Unexpectedly, they were hit hard by their feelings. Once they capsized in the gutter, and they were so defeated that they wanted to die. Those few months were not forced by their parents, and they would never look back. Now, in retrospect, I know that it is not a blessing if I lose my horse, and I have no regrets, but fortunately my parents opened their arms to block the storm for me." This is what Sanmao wrote later.What kind of feelings made her hurt so badly?And what kind of man robbed her of everything?Before the story is told, drink a cup of coffee called memories and listen to a misty rain called the past.