Chapter 12 Chapter 12 Drifting Germany

Before everything was too late, I packed up the feelings that I was about to give, and chose to leave in a hurry and leave lightly.Perhaps, this is Sanmao's mood when he broke up with Jose.But for some reason, I always feel that the emotional world of Sanmao, who is rich in color, will always be so deep.Whether she loves it or not, she can't be calm. For such a boy who truly loves her, once she lets go, how can the emotional Sanmao be unscathed.On that snowy night, Sanmao tossed and turned without sleep.Jose, however, shed tears at his pillow all night.The boy kept his promise, and after that, he never pestered or disturbed the woman he loved.Six years later, Jose reappeared in order to fulfill the promise he had made.

Some people, no matter how you avoid them, you will still meet them.Some things, no matter how much you force them, will eventually be lost.In the past six years, Sanmao has been in love many times, some love her, and some she loves.There are sacrifices and gains; there are joys and sorrows.It can be as long as a few months, or as short as an instant.But those emotions that come and go in a hurry are as erratic as falling flowers, scattered in yesterday's tree-lined path. In order to get rid of He Xi's thoughts, San Mao started to meet new boys.There was a Japanese boy, who was in the same class as her, from a wealthy family, and opened one of the most luxurious Japanese restaurants in Madrid.

This boy is very gentlemanly, and he sends a large bouquet of flowers to Sanmao every morning.In those days, Sanmao's dormitory became a sea of ​​flowers.Japanese boys not only send flowers, but also buy many rare and expensive gifts.The classmates who live together are particularly envious of his romantic pursuit.But the rich and fragrant flowers and the dazzling array of gifts don't seem to be able to move Sanmao's heart. Finally one day, the Japanese boy bought an expensive car as an engagement gift.Seeing this luxurious car and the boy's ardent expectations, San Mao was flustered.In the eyes of others, it is Sanmao's luck to meet such an outstanding Prince Charming.But in Sanmao's heart, the place where love should have been bred, where warblers and grasses grew, is still barren.She knows that a marriage without love is the greatest tragedy in the world.

In the woods on the outskirts, facing the courtship of Japanese boys, Sanmao never had the courage to refuse so firmly.This well-intentioned persecution and fervent love made her suffer unspeakably.While hesitating, Sanmao couldn't help crying.The boy was overwhelmed by her sudden tears, and quickly apologized: "It doesn't matter if you don't marry, it doesn't matter if you don't marry..." This crying made Sanmao wake up. It turned out that she couldn't easily live in another person in her heart.And these have nothing to do with Shu Fan, and have nothing to do with Jose.She wanted a feeling that would make her heart flutter for a certain moment, but also feel extremely peaceful, but no one could afford it.Love can't be forced, Sanmao chooses to escape again.Although Japanese boys have been sad for this matter for a long time, Sanmao can only say sorry silently.

It is said that in order to escape from this Japanese classmate, Sanmao accepted a flower from a German classmate.But from the bottom of her heart, she couldn't feel love for this boy.She felt that she was wrong. Her original intention was to calm down her heart, but now she caused a lot of dust instead.Dust, who said that the passers-by in life are all dust.In fact, the person you love is naturally a pleasing scenery in your heart.People who don't love are memories that want to be deleted immediately. The Spring and Autumn has been several years, and there is a time for gathering and parting.Sanmao finished her studies in Madrid. Although Spain brought her many good memories, there are also many places that she nostalgic for.But Sanmao still couldn't think of any reason for her to stay.Coupled with those unstoppable love waves, she was full of melancholy and desolate.But she still didn't walk freely enough, because the place she was going to was the hometown of her boyfriend - Germany.

After packing my bags, I realized that my youth stayed here for a few years.There are very few things that can be taken away.Perhaps life is like this, accumulating along the way, but also losing along the way.Matter cannot fill the emptiness of the spirit, nor can the spirit satisfy the lack of matter.A person, only with a broad and vast heart, can accommodate thousands of situations, and be indifferent to gains and losses in honor and disgrace. Sanmao left, she went to Germany.In order to raise travel expenses, Sanmao went to an island with beautiful scenery and worked as a tour guide for three months.Chopin and George Sand once spent a romantic life on this island.Relying on his talent for writing and scenery, Sanmao brought tourists from all over the world to enjoy the beautiful scenery on Xiandao.But she knew that this island was just a small post in life, and she came here to earn a fee.That's all.

The places he walked and the stories happened are like an excerpt in life.I have acted together and parted in the play, tasted the joys and sorrows, and exchanged different selves from the beginning to the end.Today, you erase the traces of others.Tomorrow, others will write you into memory.In the flow of people who come and go, and come and go, how much of your remaining breath is there? In Berlin, Germany, there is an old proverb: "The whole of Berlin is like a white cloud." This bustling city has both the charm of traditional culture and modern fashion.It is happy, unrestrained, tolerant and friendly. People living here are as leisurely as white clouds and as casual as a breeze.In Berlin, there is the famous Linden Street, a long and spacious tree-lined avenue, as if you can find your past and present.

But these are Germany in the eyes of others.Sanmao's Germany is another look.With the travel money she earned, she bought a plane ticket and came to Germany.Entered the Goethe Academy of Literature, specializing in German. In order to obtain a graduation certificate as soon as possible, Sanmao put away her lazy mood in Spain.She was infected with the hard work of the Germans, coupled with her strong heart, she did not allow herself to slack off.There are as many as sixteen hours of class and reading time every day.Sanmao once said that the days in Berlin were the poorest chapter of her study abroad career.

"My homework is so heavy that I feel as if I am being beaten behind with a whip every day. This makes me very unhappy. There is never enough time. When I sleep, eat, and drive, I feel that new words are rushing behind me. .” Sanmao, who has been learning to be sloppy since childhood, has never felt such urgency.But the busy schoolwork filled up all the time, leaving her no extra space to enjoy loneliness and sentimentality. "I'm studying all day long, and I can't tell the people and things in Germany at all. The Germany I know is the road to school and a few museums and art galleries." This is Sanmao's Germany, which is bland. , not even time to dream.Berlin is like a white cloud, as if it is a legend that has nothing to do with Sanmao.She betrayed herself to her studies.Fortunately, her efforts soon paid off.In just nine months, Sanmao received a diploma from the Goethe-German Academy of Literature and a qualification as a German teacher.

Sanmao's German boyfriend, Jorgen, ideally wants to be a diplomat.His hard work in study made Sanmao feel bored and tired.Sanmao once said that Jorgen was reluctant to give a minute to love, even if it was a date, he still read together.Sanmao, who is romantic by nature, has been studying day and night and consumed all her enthusiasm. She thought that love could give her some comfort, and it could plant flowers and plants in her dying heart.But Jorgen didn't understand her feelings at all, and his rigidity wiped out Sanmao's little love.The strange city, the complicated studies, the tight life, and the desolate emotions made Sanmao fall into the abyss of loneliness again.

Since when did the troubles never leave.The depressing days made Sanmao tempted by material things.She went to a big department store and sold the perfume for ten days for two hundred dollars.For ten days, Sanmao dressed herself up as an elegant oriental woman.Looking at her beautiful face, she felt that sometimes a woman should really love herself. Whenever I saw those noble ladies who came to buy perfume, spending a lot of money, San Mao felt extremely lonely in his heart.Bright street lamps, dazzling commodities, how many people lose their minds for money.A full life makes them often forget their original intentions.Sanmao doesn't want to punish herself with desire one day.Gorgeous material can never replace the richness of the soul. With the Sanmao of two hundred dollars, in the department store, I choose the things I usually desire, but I am not willing to buy any of them.She still drank plain water, ate bread, and lived a life of poverty and poverty.It seems that only in this way can I feel at ease and not fall into the abyss of luxury.For material things, Sanmao can treat each other rationally, but when it comes to emotions, she can't control them freely. Later, Jorgen, a German boyfriend, joined the Ministry of Foreign Affairs to work and realized his dream of being a diplomat.One day, Sanmao and Jorgen went to a department store hand in hand, and Jorgen bought a double bed sheet.After that, Sanmao refused to say a word again, and she felt an inexplicable depression and grievance in her heart.Jorgen saw her tearful eyes, understood her thoughts, and went back to the department store to return the sheets. Cut off the double sheet and make him cry.Because he knew that this meant that their love would be fruitless in the end. A year later, Sanmao and Jorgen waved goodbye and flew to the United States alone.And this infatuated man has been waiting for Sanmao for more than 20 years.Sanmao, who seems to be free and easy, actually has another hidden wound in her heart. This debt of love I owed has not been repaid in this life.