Chapter 9 Chapter 9 Wandering Far Away

"What is love, why is it so bitter and painful, as long as you can hold it, you will still refuse to give up until death, and you will be willing to die." This is Sanmao's love.This woman, who has just entered the colorful world of love, can't wait to taste all the tastes of love. What is love?There are thousands of beings, and there are thousands of kinds of love.Love is a light boat floating in the sea, a pot of wine sealed in the years, and a bodhi tree walking in the desert.Love is a piece of greenery that is full of beauty, a touch of coolness in the prosperity of the three thousand years, and a trace of calm in the vicissitudes of life.Love is a bright moon, from ancient times to the present, it tells the story of time and space.Love is also a sharp knife, on the edge of the knife I don't know if there is tomorrow.

After all, she is a girl like a flower, knowing that the world of mortals is as deep as the sea, but she can't stop throwing stones to ask for directions.When San Mao was disheartened, the fate she had been looking forward to for a long time came quietly.She found that on the deserted playground, not far from her, stood a familiar figure.At that moment, her calm heart jumped again in the cool breeze.This figure is Shu Fan, the big boy San Mao has been dreaming of. "My life can't go on with such regrets. If he doesn't take the initiative, I will have a start." Sanmao, who had been secretly in love for several months, looked at her lover who was only a few steps away from her, and she no longer wanted to wait, Don't want to miss it.She must fight bravely, and no matter what the outcome is, she must give herself an account without regrets.This is not a bet, but the first true love in her life. She is willing to exchange all the beauty for a moment of deep love.

"So I walked towards him with a nervous mood, and the two stood face to face in silence. I pulled out the pen from his pocket, spread his clenched hands, and wrote my home on his palm. I feel happy and shy because I have already started.” It must be so difficult for this girl who has been closed for many years to open her heart, cross the barriers of the secular world, and pursue the love in her heart.What's more, her so-called beginning is only her own beginning.She didn't know if this kind of beginning would be a one-man show. She didn't have time to think about that much, what she wanted was the blood-splattered peach blossoms and the shocking feeling.In the face of love, you can't be deterred, you can't bow your head, otherwise, if you rub shoulders, it will be forever.After handing the boy the pen, Sanmao didn't dare to look at him again, for she was afraid that she would meet that indifferent gaze.Before turning around, she still couldn't help crying.Before she was rejected, it wasn't a grievance or hurt, but the overflowing love in her heart made her feel unbearably painful.

That afternoon, Sanmao skipped class.When she got home, she stayed on the phone every step of the way.She didn't know if such wishful waiting would be fruitless.Throughout the afternoon, the sun was thin, like a vague agreement.It wasn't until half past five that Sanmao finally heard from him.He asked her to meet her at the gate of the railway restaurant at Taipei Main Station at 7:30 in the evening.After hanging up the phone, Sanmao was so excited that he wept again.She never thought that those unattainable happiness turned out to be so close. In order to rush to her first date in this life, Sanmao tried her best to dress up in front of the mirror.Sanmao, who is only nineteen years old, has not been blown by the wind and frost of the world. Although he has a kind of aloofness, he is still immature and delicate after all.I've seen photos of her when she was young, and compared with after walking the wind and dust, there is a big difference.The years leave traces of different shades on everyone's face and heart, whether you want it or not, you must accept it.

Long hair shawl, thin and tall, although Sanmao is not very beautiful, but also has a great temperament.She is not the kind of woman who is as calm as water, as if at any time, she can see a flamboyant and wild nature.She is like a wild fox, lost in the world of mortals, but with her innate spirituality, she can find her own little lair. She was obsessed with words, and finally got her wish.The love she wants can be regarded as a full moon.Sanmao's first love began on this day.She said that once you love, you will not give up until you die, and you will die willingly.First love is the most youthful, sweetest and most unforgettable thing in life.Regardless of whether this person who once promised to be dependent on life and death really joins hands in the end, it is worth remembering.

Sanmao's first love, like many people, bloomed beautiful flowers, but failed to bear fruit.Although Sanmao gave all the enthusiasm in his youth for this love, they still went against each other.Because of this man, Sanmao packed his bags and embarked on a wandering journey.Because of this fruitless love, Sanmao decided to stay away from his homeland and find a destination for this life. But Sanmao didn't regret it, she thanked Shu Fan, it was he who gave her a wonderful first love, and gave her the tenderest two years.We can even imagine what a literary genius and a drama department talent would look like on campus.There are always endless heartfelt complaints.Of course, when this pair of lovers are together, there will be intersection and alienation.

All of this does not affect Sanmao's persistence in love.Love makes her mature, she loves literature more, respects life, and looks forward to the future.In her world, she was originally only herself, but she let him live in her city, built a nest for him, and added bricks and tiles.At that time, Sanmao felt that she was the most brilliant flower on the branch.For the one she loves, she must persevere and bloom and sacrifice herself. Time is like water, always in a hurry.Shu Fan is one grade earlier than San Mao, and when he is about to graduate, this two-year love encounters thorns.Sanmao looks forward to being with the one he loves, day and night.Any separation made her feel uneasy.So she proposed to marry Shu Fan to give love a destination.But Shu Fan is not willing, he thinks that they are still young, after he graduates and has a successful career, it will not be too late to get married again.

Sanmao refused to give up, and proposed that she could suspend her studies and get married.After that, he started a business with Shu Fan, worked together, and waited for the future.But Shu Fan also felt that something was wrong. He believed that only when both of them are mature can they afford a happy marriage.Love is not the whole of life. With his talent and learning, he should have a bright future and great ambitions just after leaving school.Rather than burying himself in the besieged city early, he spent his ambitions for daily necessities. Perhaps, this is the difference between men and women.Since ancient times, heroes are sad about beauty, and there is a saying that they love the country and love the beauty even more.But all of this mostly happened after men gained fame and power.And women, once indulging in love, live and die.A unique and withdrawn girl like Sanmao is bound to love her children, and even more desperate than ordinary girls, she is hard to give up.

Who said that infatuation is not a sin.Some love needs to be stopped in moderation.Sanmao's infatuation, affection, and long-term affection suddenly became Shu Fan's burden.Because she was afraid of losing, she panicked all day long, crying and laughing.I hope Shu Fan can give her a promise and give Ai a home.A pair of lovers who were originally deeply in love, at the crossroads of life choices, began to drift undecided. Love is not "willing to be a lovebird in the sky and a Lianli branch in the earth" in Tang poetry.Nor is it "Ask what love in the world is, and teach people how to live and die together" in Song Ci.In life, love will encounter accidents, and there will be times when it is powerless.Shu Fan, a bohemian wit, a suave and free-spirited man, love dressed up his youth, but could not change his destiny.His retreat was not because of ruthlessness, but because he didn't have enough time to counter Sanmao's aggressiveness.

At that time, Sanmao was waiting for Shu Fan to make a choice every day.Either marry her, or let her go and let her study abroad in Spain. "Actually, I don't want to go abroad, but in order to force him, I really went through the procedures step by step. When the procedures were completed, both of them were stunned: what should we do?" Sanmao regretted it. The woman who refuses to look back is willing to forgive for love. She got into trouble, and in order to make up for it, she still gave Shu Fan a chance on the last night before leaving. "As long as you tell me a future, I can give up both the air ticket and the passport." Such urging and persecution made it impossible for Shu Fan to make a promise calmly.Sanmao really couldn't afford the future he wanted.In other words, I don't even know what his future will be, how can I let him give it so easily, how can I take this responsibility.

He cried, and Sanmao cried too.It was a night of pain, sadness, and regret, and tears became the best and most compassionate language.Maybe only tears can cover up the weakness in the heart, forgive all the deviations, and wipe away the bloody scars.Shu Fan turned around at the end, causing San Mao to completely collapse.All her expectations and fantasies about love just came to naught. This is not a scam, I am willing to bet and admit defeat, Sanmao admits what will happen.She has to go, she has to leave this city, even if there is a cliff in the distance, she still has to redeem herself.Sanmao said, I have no choice, I was forced to go abroad by emotion.In fact, it was me who forced her.This is San Mao, the San Mao who loves to the extreme and lives to the extreme. My father, Chen Siqing, said: "My second daughter, who is only in the first semester of the third grade at university, is going away. The reason for her insisting on leaving is her boyfriend. Sanmao stalks her to death and loves her bitterly." , both parties are very tortured, the reason she gave up is: she can't stalk the other party to death, and if she lives in Taiwan again, she can't help herself, so let's go." This woman who was wounded by the arrow of love needs to lick blood alone to heal her wounds.In the distance, she went to a distant place, and chose to live with the backpack.From then on, her name was Wandering. vagabond.