Chapter 8 Chapter 8 Love is Faith

In the world, is there a kind of love called inseparable?Is there a kind of person who is neither born nor dead?Maybe this is just an idea that people have for no reason when they are helpless, and it should not be taken seriously.Sanmao has a collection of essays called, which records the youthful years that were supposed to be beautiful, but were troubled all the time.Checking the memory, it is difficult to tell how many plots can be erased and how many stories can be treasured. Before Gu Fusheng left, he entrusted Sanmao to another painter, Han Xiangning.Han Xiangning is also a young painter. He is free and easy, and likes to wear white shirts.Sanmao once had a passage in which he recalled him like this: "A little prince who doesn't need a long scarf. Under the hot summer sun, he is dressed in snow-white, and he can't be splashed with color."

This bright and clean boy has a different temperament from Gu Fusheng, but Sanmao feels at ease when he is with him.Their mentorship was short-lived, and soon Han Xiangning went to New York.When Han Xiangning left, he also found a new teacher for Sanmao——Peng Wanchi.The artist, like a fakir, always wears a rough sweater.Not long after, Peng Wanchi also went to Paris to pursue his life dream.Sanmao's three teachers later became famous artists in the Chinese world. The moment of meeting, the moment of separation, coming and going in a hurry, no need to explain to anyone.On the road of the world of mortals, many people who traveled with each other ended up getting separated one after another.At dusk and dusk, walking on the colorful path of falling flowers, if you want to abandon yourself, you can't.Don't worry about those who have made promises and haven't kept them.Because no one is really willing to go against it.

Sanmao grew up in gatherings and separations, and she gradually walked out of the long rainy season, feeling the freshness and warmth of the sun after the rain.During this time, Sanmao and Chen Ruoxi got along a lot.Chen Ruoxi is a warm and cheerful girl with refreshing short hair and charming demeanor.On weekdays, she always persuaded Sanmao to get out of the narrow world of autism. She has missed the blooming season and can no longer rub shoulders with youth. Chen Ruoxi heard that the Chinese Culture Institute had been opened for a year, and she suggested that Sanmao go to the founder to see if she could be a selective student.Sanmao also didn't want to cling to this hopeless persistence, blocking himself in a lonely city with no way out.She wrote a long letter to Mr. Zhang Qiyun, the dean of the Cultural Institute, writing about her experience of being out of school and self-study as a teenager.Later, Sanmao recalled that letter, and clearly remembered the last sentence: "Just ask for the fulfillment of your ambition to learn."

I believe that no one has the heart to refuse a young girl's request to pursue her studies sincerely.After reading Sanmao's sincere letter, Mr. Zhang Qiyun immediately wrote back in his own handwriting, in which he wrote: "Student Chen Ping: come to the school to register immediately." And his fulfillment made Sanmao's life more vicissitudes. change.Sometimes thinking, on the road of life, every chapter and every fragment is very important.Any small change in any detail will rewrite all the process and ending. Sanmao became the second selected student of the Cultural Institute.On the day of registration, she brought her paintings and published works to see Dean Zhang.These are the recognition of time to her, she cherishes and respects them.Dean Zhang read Sanmao's works, appreciated them very much, and suggested that she choose literature or art as a major.Literature and art are the beginning of Sanmao's dream in this life. She should look for her spring breeze and autumn water in books and picture albums.

Unexpectedly, San Mao chose the Department of Philosophy. "The reason why I choose philosophy is because I want to know what people live for." This rebellious woman will have her own unique ideas and reasons at any time.But it is precisely because of this that she can write so many different stories with her pen and become a legendary writer of a generation. The study and life of the university is different from that of primary and secondary schools. It is more free and undisciplined, casual and calm.Because it is a cultural college with a strong literary and artistic atmosphere, Sanmao's mood is much clearer in this space.Although she was suspended from school for seven years, Sanmao's extensive reading and extraordinary comprehension made her appear mature and connotative among her classmates.

According to Sanmao, her grades in college have always been considered above average.Seven years of absence made this proud woman even stronger, and she would not allow herself to fail again.She is still obsessed with reading and writing.Still eccentric, always full of magical fantasy.In the eyes of all the students, Sanmao is special, with a special dress, a special way of thinking, and even the handwriting she writes is unique. A teacher once said that Sanmao likes to pursue phantoms and create tragic beauty, and when the phantoms become real, she starts to escape.Sanmao seems to have always been like this, unwilling to resign to the ordinary things in this world, and obsessed with wandering and illusions.Such a woman's inner world will always be like a vast ocean with endless waves.Her emotions are also unwilling to be calm, once she makes a choice, she vows to ride the waves to the end.

Where there are people, there will be turmoil, and love and hate, sorrow and joy will be born.In the past, in her world, there was only one window, one person, and one kind of love.Now, when she walks into the crowd, there must be someone, a relationship, waiting for her.Yes, without this person, Sanmao's university life should be as calm as running water and as quiet as bluegrass. Sanmao is lucky. In her most beautiful years, she dedicated her original heart like morning glow to a beautiful man.Even though, this relationship did not bear happy fruit, and even hurt her so much that she was forced to fall into the end of the world.But she has no regrets in this life, she is willing to be the most infatuated traveler in his life, to have fun with his beauty, and to be independent in the world.

Shu Fan, whose real name is Liang Guangming, is a second-year drama student, a class higher than San Mao.At that time, two collections had been published, and he was an all-powerful talent in the academy, handsome and suave.It was this man who lived in Sanmao's heart for several years.He is Sanmao's real first love, who loves him so much that he has no faith, and loves him so much that he goes far away. Although, before that, Sanmao also had a secret love.But that kind of emotion, like an unripe green fruit, is not enough for her to taste all kinds of tastes and live a thousand sails.She longs for a love that will shake the mountains and rivers, and let her cut off all the sad and cowardly yesterdays.She needs this love to awaken her soul that has been sleeping for seven years.Although words gave her endless fantasies, they couldn't give her unforgettable love and pain.

"This boy came to university after serving in the army. He used to be a primary school teacher. After reading his articles, I quickly developed a feeling of admiration, which can be said to be a kind of a 19-year-old A girl's feelings for hero worship. Since then, I have noticed this boy. The other kind of feelings that I have not given in my life, except parents and brotherhood, are very stubborn. killed him." This is a passage written by Sanmao in "My First Love", what a stubborn and infatuated girl.Her thoughts are endless, and her love is affectionate and pure.She doesn't want to change easily for anyone, once she loves, she doesn't have to be herself.Sanmao treats this boy like a believer, following him and admiring him.During that time, as long as there was Shu Fan, San Mao was bound to be seen.

San Mao let go of all self-esteem and arrogance, inferiority and weakness, and just followed him like a shadow for three or four months.Shu Fanming knew that this girl was silently giving and dedicating herself, but he kept silent.His coldness made Sanmao's heart suffer, and he fell into the river of lovesickness every day, at a loss.This is a hopeless unrequited love, which made Sanmao taste all the sourness and pain.But she began to believe that one day, he would hold hands with her and look at each other, making each other a pair. At that time, Sanmao's works were published in newspapers and magazines one after another.In school, although she is not as famous as Shu Fan, she is also a talented and passionate woman.But why, he always turns a blind eye to her existence.As proud as he is, he may never lower his eyebrows easily for any woman.Sanmao knows that obsessive obsession may not be the best way to pursue love.She needs a chance, a reason to make him willing to fall in love with her.

Fate opened a beautiful prelude to this love.Once, Sanmao published several articles, got the manuscript fee, and treated guests at school.When the students were having a good time eating and drinking, a person walked in. This person was Shu Fan.Sanmao was very pleasantly surprised by his sudden arrival, she even expected that they would become a pair of protagonists in this youth gathering tonight. Sanmao got up and poured wine for the man who had been in love with him for several months. Thinking about it today, he would not be able to refuse.There is a lot of tenderness in her eyes, but he is still as cold as frost.He only drank the wine in the glass in one gulp, and from then on, he only drank two or three glasses with other classmates, and refused to turn Gao Gui's head to look at her again.After a while, he waved away, as if he was afraid of any intersection with Sanmao. San Mao's heart was severely wounded by this sense of frustration.She was no longer in the mood to greet any of her classmates, just sat down, poured herself a drink, and relieved her worries.Until later, when the banquet ended, Sanmao, who was drunk, couldn't stop the sadness in his heart.In the season when the cool wind blows, she is lonely, wandering alone in the empty playground. What kind of tenderness should be used to impress that cold man.What kind of story should be used to continue writing the classic legend of life.Sanmao didn't know that the word called love was only one step away from her.I don't know, happiness is within reach. When love becomes a belief, it will reciprocate in an infatuated way.