Chapter 18 Chapter Eighteen

Peace can no longer be prevaricated.Seeing that the business was at a critical moment, the president of MG suddenly asked to put it on hold, saying that some situations need to be carefully considered.At the same time, he asked tactfully, can he see the gun as soon as possible?Peace was dumbfounded.He asked Su Ya to find a way to deal with it, and persuaded the old foreign devil to sign the contract first, but Su Ya obviously didn't actively help him.Heping even suspected that Su Ya not only failed to persuade the old foreign devils, but had been secretly instigating them. Otherwise, why would the old foreign devils' enthusiasm for guns increase day by day?

It has been pushed to this point, and it seems that the gun must be brought out no matter what.After making up his mind, Heping immediately called Secretary Lu. Secretary Lu first pushed that the key was in the hands of the chief, and Heping said unceremoniously, come on, Secretary Lu, I didn't know that the old man always likes to hold back when doing things, he must have a spare key, I guess I let you go there. Secretary Lu was silent on the phone for a long time before admitting that he did have a spare key in his hand. Heping said, I have a very important customer who wants to see the "Ruger 08", can you do me a favor and give me the gun to use.

Secretary Lu said that this is not possible. The chief has specifically confessed that this key is only kept in my hand and I have no right to use it. Heping said you should be more flexible, didn't you just take it out and take a look?Don't I just return it to Zhao when I'm done using it? No, Secretary Lu said resolutely, it doesn't matter if the chief doesn't speak up. Heping said, Hey Secretary Lu, you don't know that the old man is lying on the hospital bed now, if he can speak well, can I still help you? Secretary Lu said, let's wait until the chief is better...

Wait?I'm in a hurry for peace, what else can I do with you! Anyway, anyway, there's nothing I can do about it.After Secretary Lu said this, he didn't speak again. Heping thought for a while, and said under pressure, "Secretary Lu, I will take out this gun no matter what, no matter how much it costs or what means I use!"Is this good, you can put forward conditions, as long as I can do it, I will agree to you.No, listen to me and finish what I have to say. You don't have to express your opinion in a hurry. Think about what I said carefully first. I'll go home right away and we'll have an interview later.

On the way home while driving the car, Heping thought, no matter what, Secretary Lu must be taken down today. At worst, he will spend a few dollars to make a deal with him. If you don't believe me, I can't buy him with money, what a ghost!Just tell him that I will definitely return it after I use it up, and as long as I get the gun out of the way, I can't help him if I don't pay it back. As soon as he entered the house, Heping realized that something was wrong. Secretary Lu was not there, but his elder brother Nan Zheng was sitting upright in the living room waiting for him.Heping was so angry that he scolded in his heart, thinking that his mother's secretary Lu is too slippery, he moved the eldest brother out to resist me, and he was slick on the soles of his feet.

Sit down, Nan Zheng said, I sent Secretary Lu to the hospital.Heping, if you have anything to do, just tell me directly, don't make things difficult for other people's staff. It's useless to tell you.With peace of mind, he sat down and said, you don't have a key. Nan Zheng looked at Heping calmly and said, Dad's key is in my hand now. Heping was startled, and looked at Nan Zheng carefully, but he couldn't see the slightest expression.Just say, brother, since you already know the situation, I won't go into details.I do need that gun for a while.In fact, it's not a big deal, just show it to others, and take it back immediately after reading it.

If it's just for a glance, does the president of MG need to make such a big deal of effort?Nan Zheng said, Heping, in fact, you and I know in our hearts that once this gun is taken out, it is impossible to get it back. Brother, those guns are useless anyway.If the old man was not sick, I would have asked the old man directly, and he would definitely agree to me readily. Didn't you tell daddy?Nan Zheng still asked calmly. Heping was stunned again, oh, I said it, but I was not in a hurry to use it at that time, I just said hello in advance. Nan Zheng sighed and said, Peace, why do you have to be so narrow-minded and tell such a lie?You can guess from Dad's attitude, it is impossible for him to agree.Those guns are his life, it would be nice if he didn't scold you out on the spot.

Heping's face was somewhat embarrassed, but he returned to normal after only a moment.He looked directly at Nan Zheng and said, brother, you have to do me this favor. Do you think I'll help you with this? Brother, this business is really important to me. If I win it, I may win this game of chess, otherwise I will die.I will agree to any conditions you ask, as long as you are willing to do me this favor! Nan Zheng stared at Heping and asked, can you agree to any conditions? can! Well, I ask you to give up this business, can you agree to this? Brother, what do you mean? ! What I mean is: Everyone has things that cannot be given up, and no one can force others to give up what belongs to them, no matter how good the reasons are!

It seems that you are not willing to help me?Peace sneered. I told you a long time ago: don't think about those guns, you don't deserve it! The two brothers stared at each other fiercely.Heping subconsciously gnawed at his nails, and a pale cold air gradually appeared in his eyes. Brother, Heping said coldly, if you say that, don't blame me for being rude to you. Nan Zheng sneered and said, when have you been polite?Who have you been polite to when it comes to self-interest?You have always only considered yourself when doing things, and you have always tried your best to satisfy your selfish desires!Peace, how can you be so selfish?

Selfish?Peace suddenly smiled, who is not selfish?Are you not selfish?Do you dare to say that you are not selfish? !Peace approached Nanzheng and said, big brother, don't think that no one knows about you!Don't think that no one will know about your things when your mother is gone! Peace!you? ... Are you scared?In fact, you don't need to be afraid, I'm not Dongjin, and I'm not deceived by you.I just overheard this incident unintentionally back then. I just want to remind you that you have no right to say that others are selfish, because you are more selfish than anyone else!If you are not selfish, can you dump Su Ya in order to marry Li Xiaojing?If you are not selfish, can you push Suya to Dongjin and let Dongjin cover the scandal for you?Brother, I really admire you.To be honest, everyone in our family including the old man, you are the one I admire the most.The situation at that time was dangerous. You just married Li Xiaojing and were preparing to study at the Political Science Institute. If Su Ya's pregnancy was publicized at this juncture, you would be completely ruined.Thank you for coming up with such a brilliant move to let your mother introduce Su Ya to Dong Jin. It will not delay your becoming Li Yefu's son-in-law, nor will it affect your career as an official, but also seal Su Ya's mouth forever. !I just feel sorry for my silly second brother, who has been taken advantage of for no reason, and is still kept in the dark by you!Brother, do you know that you are actually my first first teacher.It was you who taught me how to use any means to achieve my goals, and it was you who taught me what it means to be non-toxic and not a husband!At that time, I really admired you in my heart.I said to myself: Zhou Heping, as long as you learn half of your elder brother's skills, you will be successful!

Peace!shut up! It's easy to shut me up, Heping stared at Nanzheng, and said word by word, "Get out the gun for me!" Nan Zheng clenched his back molars, and forcefully squeezed out two words: Bastard! Yep, I'm an asshole.Heping bit his nails and said, when I first went to the United States to ask Suya for help, she also called me an asshole.But scolding is scolding, after scolding, she has to honestly introduce me to MG company, and honestly help me get this business over? Nan Zheng slapped the case with a "slap", you are too despicable, you actually went to the United States to blackmail Su Ya!She...she has gone to America and you still refuse to let her go! It's not that I don't want to let her go, it's that I need her help.Like now I need your help.Brother, I can't help it either, who will let the boss of MG take care of this?If I don't give him the gun, the deal will probably go to pieces.I can't just watch the deal come to nothing, can I?I can't just see the large amount of money invested in the early stage just go to waste, can I? Seeing that Nan Zheng's face was livid, he calmed down and said, Brother, don't worry, I won't tell the story. I haven't said it for so many years. If I wasn't forced by you, why would I mention these old sesame seeds and rotten millet?Besides, what's the deal with that now?i can understand... can you understandNan Zheng sneered, it is impossible for you to understand! Nan Zheng suddenly leaned on the sofa wearily, and whispered: No, no one can understand... As soon as Yu Enhua said Li Xiaojing's name, Nan Zheng laughed.Nan Zheng said that I didn't know about Li Xiaojing, and we all called her "Hawthorn Pian" when we were young.Thinking of her dry and sour look, I feel sick to my stomach now, no no no! Eighteen changes in the women's college, Yu Enhua said, Xiao Jing is now promising, if she wants to be tall and handsome, she will graduate from the Military Medical University soon. no!Nan Zheng declined without hesitation. Yu Enhua is sitting on the wax now, she has already agreed to this matter in Beijing, how can she explain to Xiao Jing's mother and her old comrade-in-arms Tan Ming?What's more, Zhou Han had to rely on Li Yefu's help! Yu Enhua went to Beijing to find Li Yefu and Tan Ming couple because of Zhou Han's affairs.At that time, the conflict between Zhou Han and Huang Zhenzhong had already heated up.After Deng Xiaoping resumed work, Zhou Han immediately took advantage of Deng Xiaoping's proposal that "the army must be rectified", and began to roll up his arms and sleeves to grasp the military training of the troops.But just when Zhou Han was working hard, he started to fight back against the right-leaning trend of overturning the verdict.This time it was Huang Xingzhong's turn to get excited.Huang Zhenzhong has always been dissatisfied with Zhou Han's enthusiasm for purely military views, and this is his opportunity to set things right.In order to restore Zhou Han's influence in the military region and restore the important position of political work, Huang Zhenzhong compiled a report "The Influence of the Right Deviation on the Political Construction of the Military Region" and reported it.Although no names were mentioned in the report, it was clear at a glance that Zhou Han was the target.The situation immediately became serious.If this material is approved by the above, Zhou Han and those who follow him to pursue a purely military point of view will be finished.It is estimated that even if Zhou Han is not dealt with seriously, he will have to retire early, and his position will definitely be lost.Therefore, Zhou Han was in a very bad mood during these days. He always cursed people for no reason, and often went into the basement to play with guns for several hours.Yu Enhua watched anxiously, afraid that something would happen to Zhou Han if he was in a hurry, so after much deliberation, he had to go to Beijing to ask Li Yefu for help.Li Yefu knew Zhou Han well, and based on his current position, if he was willing to come out and speak for Zhou Han, the matter would be eased.But Yu Enhua knew that Zhou Han would definitely not agree with her to go to Li Yefu, so she made an excuse that she was going to the People's Liberation Army General Hospital for consultation and went to Beijing. Yu Enhua was so moved by the enthusiasm of Li Yefu and his wife that she didn't know what to say. They firmly refused to let her live in the hostel and must keep her at home.Li Yefu said, Yu Yu, I already know the situation.You go back and tell Zhou Han to calm down, you are also a man of his age, why are you still that bear-tempered, jumping when encountering something?Yu Enhua said that Zhou Han said that he himself is nothing, the key is that if this large number of military backbones are all implicated by him, the loss to the troops will be too great.That's why he was in a hurry... What's the hurry?Li Yefu said that it is not so easy to draw conclusions on anything, let alone such a big event.Still the same sentence, hold your breath!Don't be in a hurry to go back if you are younger than you. Since you are here, stay here for a few more days and let Tan Ming play with you.After speaking, he lifted his legs and left.When Yu Enhua saw that Li Yefu hadn't left a single word, he was at a loss, so he turned to Tan Ming and asked what the old political commissar's opinion...was?Tan Ming just laughed and said that Lao Li made you calm down.Yu Enhua said, oh, it's at this juncture, how can I hold my breath.If the old political commissar really wanted to say something, I could feel at ease, but the old political commissar didn't say anything.Tan Ming said that Xiao Yu really didn't understand or was he pretending to be confused?Who can say everything to Baili now like in the war years?Lao Li said that he already knew the situation, didn't he just tell you that he has agreed to intervene in this matter?Lao Li said to keep you calm, didn't he just tell you to wait patiently for the result?Otherwise, he should have said something like this: I don't know much about this situation, let me talk about it after I understand the situation.Only then did Yu Enhua feel relieved and lived for two days.During those two days, Tan Ming stayed with Yu Enhua all day long, and the two naturally talked about their children, and Tan Ming naturally raised the matter of Nan Zheng and Xiao Jing to Yu Enhua.Yu Enhua agreed at that time.There is no reason not to agree, Xiao Jing has no choice whether it is her own conditions or family conditions, not to mention that she is asking for something now.Yu Enhua knew in his heart that with Nanzheng and Xiaojing's affairs, wouldn't Zhou Han's affairs be fully implemented?Before leaving, Tan Ming told Enhua that the matter was settled.You go back and hurry up and tell the child.As for me, I will start thinking about places for Nan Zheng from now on, and see where to send him to study.You guys are too careless about your child, you should have sent him to study long ago. Yu Enhua didn't expect that Nan Zheng would disagree, and there was no room for negotiation at all, he couldn't do it one by one, no matter how he said it.Yu Enhua felt that something was wrong, and after privately asking his secretary Liu Xiwen to find out about the situation, he discovered that Nan Zheng was secretly in contact with a girl named Su Ya.According to Liu Xiwen, that girl is very beautiful, she can play piano and ballet, and she is the main actor recruited by the performance team. In the name of the performance team, he has never officially joined the army. Of course not.It's not because of Su Ya's family problems, the key is that Yu Enhua has already agreed to Li Yefu and his wife.If there was no matter about Zhou Han, she might still be able to tell Tan Ming the truth about the situation, but now is the time to count on Li Yefu's help. Wouldn't she be blocking her way by refusing him at this time?No, Yu Enhua thought, Nan Zheng must give up that girl no matter what, and the matter between Nan Zheng and Xiao Jing must be facilitated no matter what!But Yu Enhua really didn't know what to do, so he had to discuss it with Liu Xiwen.Liu Xiwen's attitude on this issue is very clear. He said that the matter of the aunt must not be vague, and the future of the chief is the top priority!Only by keeping the chief can we all be protected.Liu Xiwen murmured and said, this has to be done in this way, I went to talk to Su Ya, and said that if she can take the initiative to leave Nanzheng, I will immediately go through the formalities for her enlistment and let her officially put on the military uniform.As long as she agrees, it will be easy. After talking with Su Ya, Liu Xiwen's expression became very gloomy.Yu Enhua worriedly asked how?He simply said "it's done" and sat there in a daze.Yu Enhua said that's good, that's good, and seeing your face, I thought it wasn't a deal.Liu Xiwen was silent for a while and said, Auntie, that girl is really nice.She really loves Nanzheng, she said that if she could not leave Nanzheng, she would rather never wear a military uniform.Later, I had no choice but to say that her overseas relations would have an impact on Nanzheng, and that if she didn't leave Nanzheng, it would ruin Nanzheng's future, so she agreed in tears.Liu Xiwen sighed softly and said, I really don't know if I am doing something good or something bad?Yu Enhua said that of course he did a good deed?Secretary Liu, don't think too much, Auntie knows it well, you are doing it for the chief, for our whole family!Liu Xiwen sighed again and said, why do lovers always fail to get married?Seeing Liu Xiwen's amiable expression, Yu Enhua couldn't help but think of the matter between him and Chuan Chuan, so he didn't say anything more. Now that Su Ya has settled the deal, Yu Enhua and Nan Zheng have a discussion. Nan Zheng felt as if his mother had stuffed his mind into a mess, and the clues were so messy and entangled that he couldn't figure it out.He didn't expect that such a purely personal matter of finding a partner would be related to his father's honor and disgrace, and would be related to his future and the fate of the whole family!If that's the case, he doesn't have any choice left.In other words, he had to give up on Su Ya. But how could he give up Su Ya?He loves Suya.Su Ya is so delicate and quiet, so lovable.When he thought of Su Ya, his heart felt as if it was being played by an invisible hand. He couldn't help trembling, throbbing, and aching with excitement.What moved Nan Zheng the most was Su Ya's melancholy eyes.Those eyes can arouse a man's desire for protection too much, so deep, so dark, so timid, and so sad.As soon as he saw those eyes, he would feel distressed, and couldn't help but want to reach out and wipe away the melancholy inside.In Nan Zheng's view, Su Ya is like a fragile glass person.He has always held Su Ya in the palm of his hand, and even breathed on her carefully, for fear of disturbing her or hurting her.He believed that if he let go of his hand suddenly and gave up Su Ya, Su Ya would be smashed to pieces.And it must be his heart that is broken at the same time. But how could he not give up on Suya?Aunt Tan Ming has won a place for him to study in the Political Science Institute.It is said that this class is specially set up for the selection of political reserve talents, and they will definitely be valued in promotion and use after graduation.Because of this, the competition in this class is very fierce. Those who have the conditions and no relationship and those who have the relationship and no conditions cannot get in. Those who get in are those who are both related to their own conditions and good.If it wasn't for Aunt Tan Ming who came out in person, and if it wasn't for Li Yefu's face, this spot would not have fallen to Nan Zheng's head at all.Nan Zheng knew that this opportunity was very rare for him. Being able to enter this class itself marked a kind of social status, which was equivalent to adding a very important bargaining chip for his future promotion and use.But Nan Zheng also knew in his heart that he had to pay a price to enter this class.That is to say, he must marry Li Xiaojing, that is to say, he must give up Su Ya. This is the first time that Nan Zheng has faced such a difficult life choice.Silently looking at the crying mother in front of him, Nan Zheng gradually felt helpless hatred.He couldn't tell what he hated, did he hate his mother's face-to-face request or Aunt Tan Ming's secret coercion?Do you hate yourself for being unable to resist the temptation to go to school or hate yourself for being unable to let go of your feelings for Su Ya?In short, he hates, hates the reality that kinks everything together, hates the cruelty that makes him bear everything alone! So far, Nan Zheng still doesn't believe that he said those words.It seemed that another person broke free from his body, and said in a hollow voice that was unfamiliar even to himself, don't cry!Don't you just want me to marry Li Xiaojing?Don't you just want to keep your father's position in this way?Don't you just want to sacrifice my feelings for the benefit of all of you?OK, I admit it.Now that Su Ya has left me, why do I have to put a rope around my neck?I don't want it anymore, I don't want any feelings, any personality! Nan Zheng suddenly shouted loudly: I really don't understand, why did you choose me?Why do you have to let me give up what I love?Why should all the responsibility be borne by me alone?After finishing speaking, he turned around and rushed out the door, into the snowy night. There was a lot of snow outside, and Su Ya estimated that Dongjin might be ten or eight minutes late, but she didn't expect that more than half an hour had passed, and Dongjin hadn't come yet.Dongjin made an appointment with her on the phone, saying that he would come to the hotel to discuss divorce procedures.In Su Ya's impression, Dongjin has always been a punctual person, and he will always make appointments early, never late.Even if something is delayed, he will find a way to inform you in time.It seems that there has never been such a situation where people wait for no clear reason. Su Ya anxiously took out a cigarette, skillfully lit the lighter and was about to light it, but turned it off suddenly.She didn't want Dong Jin to smell the smoke all over the room when she came in, and she didn't want anyone who knew her before to find out that she was smoking now, and she was smoking a lot.She played with the cigarette subconsciously between her fingers, and smelled the spicy smell of tobacco from time to time under her nose, but she couldn't get rid of the depression in her heart. When I was abroad, I really wanted to come back, because I was lonely.But after she came back, she found that she was still alone in the face of this city she was no longer familiar with, and those old people who had long been unfamiliar. Last night, Su Ya almost didn't sleep all night.The north wind howling outside brought her back to that night many years ago, that snowy night that made her enjoy all the joy and left all the pain to her... When Nan Zheng suddenly appeared in front of her against the wind and snow, her face instantly became as pale as snow. Although there was not much snow that day, the wind was very hard.The call sign of the north wind was like countless sharp blades, cutting Nan Zheng's body with cuts and bruises and exhausting him physically and mentally.Nan Zheng had been running in the wind and snow for too long, and when he arrived at Su Ya's place, his whole body was numb from the cold, his thinking was frozen, and he was so weak that he couldn't even utter a complete sentence. Su Ya didn't expect Nan Zheng to find her here.Ever since Liu Xiwen talked to her, she has been avoiding Nanzheng.For the past few days, she has been trying to use her reason to build a barrier between her and Nan Zheng.She told herself that she couldn't continue with Nan Zheng anymore, that would harm Nan Zheng.If Nan Zheng loses the opportunity to progress and loses her own future because of her, her heart will never be at peace.But when Nan Zheng suddenly appeared in front of her, the barrier she built with all her strength collapsed in an instant.Almost without time to think, she rushed forward and hugged Nan Zheng. On that day, Su Ya let Nan Zheng understand that no matter how weak a woman is, she is stronger than a man. Su Ya didn't shed a single tear that day.After bringing Nan Zheng into the room, Su Ya immediately covered Nan Zheng's mouth with her warm lips, and whispered softly in his ear, don't say anything, don't say anything.She cooked ginger soup, but she didn't let Nan Zheng drink it by herself, she insisted on feeding it into Nan Zheng's mouth spoon by spoon.She said nothing to let Nan Zheng do anything, took off his clothes with her own hands, and bathed him with hot water with her own hands.She knelt on the ground to wash his feet. After washing, she wrapped his feet with a towel, gently picked them up and put them on the bed.After doing all this, Su Ya smiled at Nan Zheng and said, close your eyes, I will show you something later. Having just recovered from the cold, Nan Zheng felt his head swell and dizzy.He closed his eyes obediently, thinking in his heart, this feeling is so good, this feeling of not having to think, not move, and being at the mercy of others is so good.Drowsy, he heard Su Ya calling him softly.He didn't answer, he didn't want to open his eyes, he really wanted to lie in a daze like this forever, not looking at anything, not thinking about anything. A soft hand stroked his face gently, and Su Ya's voice came from a distant place dreamily: Nan Zheng, I know you are very tired, you are always so tired.Why do you have to be so hard on yourself and never allow yourself to relax a bit?In the past, I have fantasized more than once that if we can live together as we wish in the future, I will definitely not let you do anything.I want you to relax completely as soon as you enter the house, no longer thinking, no longer worrying, no longer restricting yourself, and no longer worrying about others.I want you to cry as much as you want, and laugh as much as you want, like a child.I thought I would never have that chance, never be able to realize this wish.Nan Zheng, it's very kind of you to come today.Thank you, thank you for giving me such a chance.I want to do for you today what I want to do for you all my life, I want to empty myself into your mouth, I want to watch you swallow me mouth by mouth, I want to turn into blood From then on, it flows through your body.Nan Zheng, now open your eyes, look at me, and see what I have prepared for you... Nan Zheng slowly opened his eyes. Suddenly, his eyes widened and he froze there in astonishment—Su Ya was naked and looking at him with a smile. The beautiful carcass shone brightly in front of his eyes, exuding a charming silvery luster.Nan Zheng only felt a loud bang in his heart, as if something suddenly broke free and rushed out of the barrier.He threw himself on it recklessly, toward that alluring silvery white... The embankment broke.The flood flooded the sky and covered the sky, and in a blink of an eye, it destroyed the long-established solid embankment and rushed into the dry and cracked land.The mighty water whizzed by, overflowing consciousness, thinking, and all feelings, surging and surging.The heaven and the earth are completely submerged in the great water, and all things are rolling, stirring, and rippling in the water to their heart's content... I didn't expect that indulgence could be so ecstasy.For a moment, it seemed that there was nothing, no sky, no earth, no others, no self.For a while, I don't have to think about anything anymore, I don't want the past, I don't want the present, I don't want the future.Only instinct leads the way ahead, as long as you follow this wayward guy, regardless of whether there is a dangerous beach or a cliff in front of him, whether he ends up in heaven or hell! It wasn't until the flood subsided that Nan Zheng realized that he had burst into tears at some point.He hadn't cried for many years, and he thought he wouldn't cry for a long time.But now he was not only crying, but lying in the woman's arms and crying in front of the woman.What surprised him even more was that he didn't have any embarrassment or scruples in his heart.He just remained motionless and let the tears flow wantonly on his face, the block on his chest seemed to melt gradually with the tears, and flowed away quietly.Gradually, his heart seemed to relax a lot. It feels so good to indulge!Nan Zheng thought, it's good to be able to indulge myself! When leaving, Nan Zheng thought Su Ya would cry.If Su Ya cried, he might stay.If Su Ya cried and begged him, he might stay forever. But Su Ya didn't cry. Su Ya's gaze was empty and dry, without a single tear in it. Su Ya said, Nan Zheng, you can go. Su Ya said, Nan Zheng, don't look at me like this, I'm fine. Su Ya said, Nan Zheng, don't worry, I won't cry. Su Ya even smiled and said, Nan Zheng, can't you see that I am empty?Can't you see I'm nothing but a shell? ... The cigarette in his hand was suddenly twisted.Su Ya looked at the shredded tobacco falling on her body motionlessly. There is a knock on the door.Surprised, Su Ya jumped up and shook off the shredded tobacco, and quickly checked her appearance in the mirror before opening the door. The one standing outside the door was not Dongjin, but the president of MG. The old man smiled and asked, Su, has the guest you were waiting for arrived yet? not yet. How about we go have a cup of coffee first? Sorry, I want to wait a little longer.Su Ya said, this matter is very important to me. It seems that my old man is very unimportant to you. no i... Su, I'm joking, don't be so nervous.The old man smiled and squeezed his eyes and said, I'm going to the coffee shop first, don't make me wait too long. Nan Zheng never expected that Su Ya would be pregnant.When Su Ya received the call, Nan Zheng had just finished the wedding and was about to report to the Political Science Institute. The marriage between Nanzheng and Xiaojing was hastily held at the request of Aunt Tan Ming.Aunt Tan Ming insisted that they get married before Nan Zheng reported to the Political Science Institute.It is said that Nan Zheng has been in school for several years, and he cannot get married during the school period. Anyway, the two of them are not too young, and they can do it early or late, so let's do it as soon as possible.Everyone knew in their hearts that what Aunt Tan Ming wanted was an insurance policy.She spent so much effort to send Nan Zheng to study, how could she take the risk of losing her son-in-law after cultivating talents?Although Yu Enhua also felt that Tan Ming was a bit too eager for success, and that it was a bit too hasty to hold a wedding for the two of them right away, but she could not come up with an appropriate reason to refute.What's more, there has been no clear statement about Zhou Han's matter, and Yu Enhua doesn't want to hold Tan Minglai at this time.Fortunately, Nan Zheng has now accepted this reality, and after a few discussions, they all agreed to get things done. The news of Su Ya's pregnancy was like a bomb detonated above her head, and Nan Zheng was almost blinded.This is impossible, Nan Zheng said, we... We only have that one time! Su Ya cried. She cried on the phone and said, Zhou Nanzheng, I'm not here to blackmail you.Even if I still have a little way, I will never come to you, and I will never tell you about it.I have been to the hospital myself, but there is no unit to prove that they will not do it.I... I really don't know what to do. Nan Zheng hurriedly persuaded, Su Ya, don't cry, I didn't mean that, I didn't expect this to be so small.You wait, I'll be there right away. But Nan Zheng didn't go there immediately, he went back home to find his mother first. That thought seemed to pop up when Dong Jin met Dong Jin at the door of the house.At that time, Dongjin was about to go out, and the two brothers went to meet each other.It was only after Nan Zheng had passed that he came to his senses. Just now, Dong Jin seemed to ask him what's wrong with such a bad face?When he looked back at Dong Jin's straight back, Nan Zheng felt a sudden movement in his heart. Before going to Su Ya's place with their mother, they had already discussed the way.This should be the safest way. Anyway, except for mother and Liu Xiwen, no one knows the relationship between Nan Zheng and Su Ya. If Su Ya can agree, if Dong Jin can accept Su Ya, this is of course the best solution to the problem. .They all felt that there was no big problem with Dongjin, since Dongjin had already completely broken off with Huang Nina, not to mention that Su Ya was by no means inferior to Huang Nina.But Su Ya's side is hard to say. If Su Ya firmly disagrees, it will be really difficult to handle this matter.Because no matter where the abortion is done, no matter who you ask for the abortion, it is impossible to keep the secret, and it will be spread, so you must not take that risk unless it is a last resort.The key is to see if you can do Tongsuya's work. To their surprise, they persuaded Su Ya with almost no effort.Su Ya seemed to have lost her mind at the time. It seemed that as long as she could hide this matter, she would agree to whatever she was asked to do. Later things will be handed over to my mother.It wasn't until he knew that Dong Jin and Su Ya were getting married that Nan Zheng breathed a sigh of relief, only then did he vaguely feel that he might be making a big mistake.But by now, it was too late to say anything.Fortunately, Nanzheng went to the Political Science Institute soon. Fortunately, Dongjin and Su Ya got married soon. Fortunately, Su Ya had her child aborted because of "threatened abortion" after she got married. Fortunately, Su Ya did not. How long did it take to go to America.So he and Su Ya can always avoid each other, and almost never see each other. Nan Zheng's eyes scattered far out of the window.After a long time, he sighed deeply and said that people will make mistakes, and some mistakes are irreparable forever. Often it is just a mistake, which makes you involuntarily make mistakes again and again, and constantly use new mistakes to correct you. Cover up old mistakes, keep making big mistakes to make up for small ones. Nan Zheng said to Heping, didn't you say that I am selfish, that I want to be an official and want to climb up?I admit that I want to be an officer.I have always believed that the career is as big as the official.I always thought that if I wanted to realize my ideals and make a career in the army, I had to be an official, and I had to be a bigger one.If that counts as selfish, I agree.In fact, I often wonder whether I am doing it for my career or to be an official?I found that, like many people, I have fallen into a logical circle unconsciously: being an official is to do a career, and doing a career is to become a bigger official.Once a person enters this vicious circle, he will involuntarily circulate in it, so that he forgets his original intention and what he really wants, and naturally confuses career with being an official.But can this be my fault?In this peaceful age where wars cannot be used to screen soldiers, and in the face of the reality that soldiers can only be judged by military ranks, how can I escape from this vicious circle? You have no right to accuse me of being selfish, because you are the beneficiary.If it weren't for me, my father would have been treated by Huang Xingzhong as a typical example of a purely military point of view!If Dad was dismissed at that time, would you still be able to do business with the army like a fish in water and make so much money from the army?It is precisely because Li Xiaojing and I got married that Li Yefu desperately saved his father, and our family and each of you can live smoothly until today!You all benefited from it, so none of you have the right to blame me!Perhaps, you think that I am the one who benefited the most from it, because I became Li Yefu's son-in-law, because I got a chance to study at the Political Science Institute immediately after I got married, because my official career has been smooth since then.But why don't you think about it, I have lost the most!I lost my first love, the most innocent part of my feelings, and all my emotional life!I even lost my personality and my confidence in my moral integrity!I can't face Dong Jin, I can't face Su Ya, I can't face Xiao Jing, I have to live with guilt and self-blame almost every day!And you, you don't have to lose anything, but you can all benefit from it grandiosely, and you have a clear conscience.What reason do you have to go back and accuse me? ! Except for Dongjin, none of you have this right!Nan Zheng said. 一提到东进，南征的心里就有一种说不出的深深的愧疚。他永远也无法坦然面对东进，每当看到东进那副形单影只的准单身汉样子，每当想到东进那名存实亡的婚姻生活，埋藏在心底深处的伤疤就会隐隐作痛。他曾经寄希望于时间，但可怕的是，这种感觉不仅无法随着时间的流逝而淡化，反而却随着时间的推移变得越来越清晰，越来越强烈了。他爱东进，珍惜他和东进之间的兄弟情义，他真不知道如果有一天东进发现了这件事，自己该怎样面对。毫无疑问，那一天必定是他们兄弟俩的末日。只要有一点可能，他就绝不会让那一天出现！ 你不就是想要那只“鲁格08”吗？南征冷冷地问。 That's right. 我可以帮你。 Brother!那…… 你先别急，你得答应我几个条件。 大哥你说。 一，永远不许再提这件事！ of course. 二，二十四小时之内必须把枪还回来。 Row. 我知道你心里是怎么想的。你是想，你先答应下来，只要把枪拿到手，还不还就是你说了算了。和平，在这件事上我劝你别耍小心眼儿。如果超过二十四小时你还没把枪拿回来，我就会立刻通知军区保卫部立案侦查。到那个时候，你可就交也得交不交也得交了。 ... 和平，最后我提醒你一句。枪支管理是很严格的，搞不好会触犯刑律。你还是得趁早想办法打消MG总裁的念头，别弄到最后自己吃不了兜着走！ 南征僵直地站起身，连看都懒得再看和平一眼，声音硬硬地说，走吧，你跟我去地下室拿枪。 还没等南征伸手拉门，门却突然开了。 南征和和平一下子都愣在了那里——东进像块石头一样立在门外，面如青石，眼如炽炭，目光子弹一样密集地扫射在他们的脸上身上，打得轰然作响，火花飞溅。 东进牙齿咯咯作响，狠狠地抛出了两个硬邦邦的字：谁敢？ ! 苏娅终于耐不住点燃烟抽了起来。东进还没来，一定是碰到什么意外的事情了。但他总该来个电话打个招呼吧？ 苏娅很想把这件事快点了结，倒不是她有什么急于摆脱旧生活建立新生活的想法，而是她再也无法忍受内心的煎熬，再也不想维系目前这种状态了。 在国外这些年，苏娅经历了很多。为了寻找内心的安宁，她最终走进了教堂。面对那个神圣的十字架，面对被钉在十字架上受难的耶稣，她曾做过无数的祈祷和忏悔。但无论怎么做，她也无法使自己从过去的阴影中走出来。主对她说：患难生忍耐，忍耐生老练，老练生盼望。她按照主的教导，尝试着忍耐，希望能依靠忍耐把自己从痛苦中引渡出来，但却至今也没能得到解脱。她真不知道还要忍耐多久，不知道什么时候才能忍耐到让心生出老练的硬茧，不知什么时候才能老练得对生活生出新的盼望。 有一次，她在忏悔中对神父述说烦恼。 神父说，我的孩子，你心里装的忧虑太多了，将一切忧虑都卸给神吧，因为他顾念你。 她就对神父说，我罪孽深重，我曾经做过伤害别人的事情，可我当时的确是没有办法。我想说出来减轻自己的罪孽，但我一直说不出口。 神父说，我的孩子，在主面前，你应当一无挂虑。你只要借着祷告、祈求和感谢将你的一切告诉神就可以了。 她就哭了，哭着把一切都告诉了神父。 神父沉思了许久后告诉她，主对我们说，好树不能结坏果子，坏树不能结好果子。凡不结好果子的树就砍下来丢在火里。 可是我不知道该怎么办啊？she says. 神父就长叹了一声，唉，风随着意思吹，你听见了风的响声，却不知道从哪里来，往哪里去啊。 她说，我想彻底结束过去的生活，但我不知道该怎么对他说。我没有理由，我怕再一次对他造成伤害。 神父说，我的孩子，你只要按自己的意愿去做就可以了。记住：神在顾念着你，神所应许的必能做成！ 从教堂回来后，苏娅立刻鼓足勇气给东进写了那封提出离婚的信。但信一发出，苏娅的心里就开始忐忑不安，她不知道东进会不会同意，更不知道以东进的脾气会做出什么样的激烈反应。没想到东进竟很痛快就答应了。东进的豁达使苏娅心里的愧疚愈发强烈，但他的不争又多少使苏娅感到了一些失落。毕竟，她也是个女人。毕竟，是女人就不希望自己在男人的心目中可有可无。 苏娅有些说不清自己对东进的感受。与东进在一起的那些日子里，她发现东进与南征有很大的不同。南征很克制内敛，什么事都想得很多安排得很周到；而东进则张扬外向，行事果断不计后果。南征无论做什么都比较循规蹈矩，东进却随心所欲，毫不在乎是否合乎规范，因此常会给你带来意外地惊喜。记得有一次他们乘车去游览一处古战场。东进站在古战场的堡垒上，津津有味地为她讲解当年日俄战争的场景。讲到兴起之处，竟突发奇想非要立刻领她到苏军墓地去看看。苏娅见天色已晚提议下次再去，东进却坚持马上就去。他哄苏娅说走吧走吧十几分钟就走到了，那个地方太值得一去了，那里不仅埋着死在日俄战争中的俄国军人，更主要的是还埋葬着在第二次世界大战中远东最后一役中牺牲的反法西斯苏军烈士！结果，东进领着她左拐右拐地走了好几个十几分钟也没走到。待到苏娅发现东进压根儿就是在骗她的时候，东进这才神情沮丧地对她坦白说，还有好远好远的路，估计还得走一个来小时。苏娅气得立刻停下来说什么也不肯走了。就在这时，东进却突然指着一个生锈的大铁门，嬉皮笑脸地说，看！This is it!弄得苏娅哭笑不得。但不得不承认，东进这一套把戏确实使她轻松地走完了这段不短的路，在她几乎绝望的时候给了她一个意外的惊喜。苏娅高兴地跑到大铁门前，仔细一看，心立刻凉了。她发现这里根本就不是什么旅游景点，只是一片废弃多年的荒芜墓地。生锈的大铁门上挂着一把生锈的大锁，一看就知道已经多年没打开过了。垂暮的太阳正斜斜地透过铁门照着里面一人多高的杂草，令人生疑地把所有的影子都拉得老长老长，风沙沙有声地从墓地间闪身而过，忽左忽右地摇曳出满目的凄惶和苍凉。苏娅真想掉头就走，但东进却已经兴冲冲地爬到大门上了。他骑在上面，向苏娅伸出一只手兴致勃勃地喊道，上来呀！我拉你！苏娅犹豫地抬起头，东进脸上的阳光和孩子般的兴奋突然强烈地感染了她，她不由自主地跟着爬了上去。下来的时候苏娅不敢跳，东进在下面喊没事，你闭上眼睛只管跳就是了，有我呢！苏娅这才狠狠心闭着眼睛跳了下去，结果脚还没等落地呢，她就被东进接在怀里了。有那么一瞬间，苏娅心中的热情仿佛被点燃了，她似乎体会到了一种难以言说的愉悦，体会到靠着一个强健男人的踏实感，也体会到了被一个机敏的男人呵护左右的满足感。那天他们玩得很开心，她被东进拉着在墓地间寻找，辨认墓碑上那些残缺不全的墓志铭，用手擦净那些镶嵌在墓碑上的相片，与每一个他们觉得有趣的人交谈。她还和东进一起用草编了一个花环，献给了纪念碑下一个跪姿持枪的士兵。东进在那个士兵的雕像前站了很久，他说真奇怪，他一见到这个士兵心里就有一种说不出的感动。东进说你注意到了吗？他的姿势很不稳定，身体前倾，后脚蹬地，似乎随时都准备冲出去。东进久久地凝视着雕像的眼睛说，你看他的眼睛简直一点杂念都没有，只有即将投入的战斗，只有前面的敌人，这才是真正的士兵！东进突然问她，你喜欢跪俑吗？不等回答东进就说，我喜欢。这个雕像与跪俑有异曲同工之妙。看来，古今中外对士兵的理解都是一样的！临走前，东进坚持和她一起面对整个墓地行一个庄严的军礼。东进说这与年代、种族无关，这是表达军人对军人的敬意。 苏娅其实很怕面对东进，起初与东进在一起的时候，她从来不敢注视东进的眼睛。东进的眼睛太纯、太坦诚。面对这样一双纯净的眼睛就如同面对一面洁净的镜子，总会从中折射出自己的不洁，总会让她有一种自惭形秽的感觉。她渴望自己能被东进接受，但又明知道自己不可能完全被东进接受；她也想接受东进，但却又不敢接受东进。她怕自己陷进去，怕自己会因为偷了自己不配得到的东西而被发现被唾弃。她就这样整天挣扎在两难的境地中，搞得自己身心疲惫、心力交瘁，精神几乎都要崩溃了。她之所以急着出国，既是为了逃避南征，更是为了逃避东进。幸亏她很快就办出去了，出国，的确给了她一个喘息将养的机会。 这次回来苏娅没打算与南征联系。这么多年来，南征从未给过她一字半句，就那样在她的生活中突然消失，消失得无影无踪了。这就是南征。苏娅知道像南征那样心怀大志而又处事谨慎的人必然会做出这样的选择。她不想怨恨南征，她希望能在心里永远保鲜那段真情。但真情是需要两个人一起来养护的，独自抚弄得太久，真情也会一点点失去水分，最终风干在情感记忆的深处，变成一个珍贵但没有呼吸的标本。当真情变为标本之后，原本隐在内里的脉络便清晰地显现出来，让苏娅从中看出了另一个周南征，一个自私自利、无情无义的周南征。一旦看到了这些，怨恨便在心中发芽，悄悄地生长出来了。 苏娅不想让怨恨在心中生长，她相信主说的要以仁爱之心宽恕一切的话，但她却不知道怎样才能使心中的怨恨枯萎。回国前，她曾想过要见南征一面。她想看看南征是否敢于面对她，是否能坦然地面对她。但她最终还是打消了这个念头。她不想打扰南征，也不想打扰自己。记得鲁迅先生说过：最大的轻蔑莫过于不理，甚至连眼珠也不转过去。苏娅想，那就选择轻蔑吧，选择不理，选择连眼珠也不转过去。 电话铃突然响起，苏娅吓了一跳。拿起电话，听到前台小姐用绵软的声音告诉她，说刚才有位先生在前台给您留了一封信，请问是给您送到房间呢还是您自己下来取？苏娅赶紧问那位先生走了吗？小姐说刚走。苏娅立刻扔下电话向楼下跑去。 没有，望出去很远也没有看到那个熟悉的影子，心一下子变得空落落的。很久，苏娅才怏怏地回到前台取信，问刚才送信的先生是位军人吗？前台小姐说是个军人。苏娅问他没说什么吗？小姐说没有，他好像很着急的样子，扔下信立刻就走了。苏娅赶紧拆开手中的信，发现里面除了完整的离婚手续竟一个字也没有！ 走向大堂咖啡厅的时候，苏娅觉得头有些昏沉沉的。MG总裁正在向她招手，脸上带着愉快的微笑。 sue!老头儿说，在这里！ 苏娅软软地跌进沙发。 喝点什么？老头儿问。 苏娅深深地把头埋在膝头没答话。 来杯卡布基诺吧？这里的咖啡味道还算说得过去。 苏娅仍旧没答话。 苏，你怎么了？not comfortable? 过了好久，苏娅才缓缓地抬起头，脸色苍白地朝老头儿笑了一下说，没什么，我现在感觉好多了。 小姐，苏娅回头说，来杯巴西黑咖啡，要浓一点儿。