Chapter 10 chapter eight

Wang Zhenqiang sent me to the door of the unit. When he wanted to help me upstairs, I firmly refused.I climbed the stairs crookedly, with my feet fluttering, as if I was walking on a pile of cotton, and my eyes were even more blurred. It seemed that everything in the corridor had changed, so I couldn't determine which floor I had gone up to.I had to stop several times to rub my blurry eyes and adjust my crooked gait. Finally standing in front of the house, I saw the big lucky character on the door, staring at me dazzlingly.It was posted together with my husband on the eve of Chinese New Year.Immediately, my eyes were blurred with tears again, and I couldn't help calling out in my heart: Husband, where are you?I miss you!

Pushing open the door, everything remains the same, but there is no popularity at all.In the empty house, the thin me lying on the wide bed looks small and humble, while the lonely heart is more like a barren land, desolate and lonely. A phone rings, it's so late, who's there?I picked it up lazily, and a hurried male voice sounded: Where have you been all night?is the younger brother.I thought something might have happened, and my brain froze: What's wrong?Is something wrong with mom? Mom is sick.I can't find you, call my brother-in-law's cell phone, he said he is not in the local area.I'm dying of anxiety.

I got up quickly, got dressed, took out all the cash from the drawer and put it in the bag, I couldn’t care about my steps anymore, I staggered all the way down the stairs, nearly fell several times, and finally rushed out , I hit a car. In the hospital, my mother was lying pale on the hospital bed, sucking oxygen through a bottle.The younger brother and younger sister-in-law stood by with frowning faces.Seeing me, my brother rushed over in two steps.Where have you been? It scared me to death. My mother fainted while going to the toilet. The doctor said it was a myocardial infarction. Thanks to the timely discovery and timely treatment, otherwise it would be troublesome.The younger brother kept talking like a machine gun.Suddenly, his eyes widened as if he had discovered a new world. Sister, you have been drinking and your face is pale. Is there something wrong?At the same time, he reached out his hand to my forehead and touched it.

I was so touched by my brother's concern that I felt hot inside, so I said it was all right and I had a party with my friends. The night was getting deeper and deeper, the sister-in-law went home to take care of the children, and the younger brother leaned over his mother's bed and began to doze off.Sitting next to my mother, I am now starting to wake up more and more.Looking at her aging face, a kind of guilt made my susceptible heart fluctuate again.Since I went back to my mother during the Spring Festival, I haven't seen her for several months. The mother in front of me is obviously old again, her hair is almost all white, and occasionally a few strands or strands of black hair are mixed in, which makes her look even more old and mellow. desolate.The wrinkles on the forehead are like knives, even in sleep, they deeply show aging and helplessness.The corners of the mouth hang loosely, with the posture of an old lady.I couldn't help my eyes getting wet, thinking of my mother's fate of being lonely and working hard all her life.

There was a cool wind blowing in from the window, and I subconsciously tucked in the quilt for my mother.Mother's hand on the quilt was half-clasped, and she moved slightly in her sleep, which caught my attention.I saw those bony hands with bulging veins, crawling like earthworms, and once again I was ashamed of my negligence towards my mother. The next day, I called my husband's unit from the public phone at the entrance of the hospital.I know he's not on a business trip.The reason why he told his younger brother that he was not in the local area, I guess he must have seen my younger brother's phone call and thought that my natal family was looking for him to do a job.The phone got through, and my guess was right.He still had a cold attitude of repelling people thousands of miles away.I said timidly, don't hang up, I have something to tell you.

Because I was afraid that he would hang up the phone suddenly, I hurriedly continued to say that my mother was ill, but she didn't know about us.Would you like to come over?He was still silent on the other side of the phone. I felt guilty and panicked and dared not say a word. I could only helplessly and silently wait for his statement.After a minute or two, his voice finally came from the phone, okay! When he was about to leave work in the afternoon, he came.While I was sitting on the bed chatting with my mother, he came in silently.I turned my back to the door and saw my mother staring at the door and suddenly smiled, I knew someone was coming.I turned my head and he just appeared in my line of sight.Although the hair has traces of combing, it still can't hide the disorder, just like a sick child, giving the impression that the hair is always curled up.His face was haggard and pale, his eyes were full of melancholy, and his hands were full of various food boxes, large and small.He was trying to squeeze a smile out of his face, so the wrinkles on his forehead protruded unreservedly, and even two faint wrinkles appeared at the corners of his mouth at some point.He's thinner and older.When he walked to his mother's bedside, I clearly saw a few shining white hairs appearing on his sideburns, standing upright dazzlingly.I can't help but tremble.Now I know how much I care about him, how much I love him.Every wrinkle of his touches my heart, and every white hair of his touches my nerves.

Mom happily took his hand, asking questions.I know that my mother has always liked his son-in-law very much, even more than me. how do you take care of himWhen I was immersed in looking at my husband's sadness, my mother suddenly turned her head and asked me.You see how he is so haggard, as if he just had a serious illness, and it feels like no one is taking care of him.My mother looked sullen, like the usual accusation to me after our husband and wife quarreled: You are in your thirties, and your child is so old, you can't be self-willed and make him angry, you know?You should know that you love your husband, you know?

Tears were rolling in my eyes, I turned my head and walked to the window, pretending to look at the scenery in the yard while pretending to be filial, Mom, I understand.In fact, my tears have already flowed out. While adjusting my emotions, I stretched my head out of the window. When I retracted my head, I stroked my hair naturally and took the opportunity to wipe away my tears.I turned my head slowly, and I saw that the circles of my husband's eyes were also red. Brother, brother and daughter-in-law arrived in a hurry.Seeing my brother-in-law, my younger brother also became excited.The husband also quickly explained that he couldn't come back from the suburban county yesterday, and he was sorry.The younger brother also saw that his brother-in-law was haggard. After all, it was a family, and they all cared about him.

The younger brother turned his head and said, "Sister, it's time for you to mend your brother-in-law. Look at what he looks like. He seems to have just had a serious illness."Then he turned around and asked his brother-in-law doubtfully, are you all right?Hearing her husband say it was okay, he let out a long breath, and then said not to work too hard. We left the ward at the urging of our younger brother, couple and mother.Walking down the stairs and turning around, my brother's voice disappeared behind me.My husband immediately walked a few steps quickly as if avoiding the plague god, and distanced himself from me.I walked silently behind him, seeing his familiar expression with one shoulder high and the other low when he walked, I couldn't help but feel sad.

The hospital is still bustling with people, and every corner is filled with the endless smell of Lysol, which is torn apart by pedestrians, and keeps floating around our bodies, wandering, gathering, and diverting.With our heads drooping, my husband and I walked out of the hospital gate among the family members who came and went to deliver food and visit us.The husband pushed straight into the car and seemed to forget about me.I hurried over and stood in front of him blushing and short of breath, but my eyes didn't dare to look at his face, but turned around his head and looked at the distant sky, where there was a round of red sun dragging the corner of the eye to hide in the sky go.

I said, can we talk. He didn't look at me either, presumably he was as reluctant to see what was in the other's eyes as I was.He looked into the distance with a blank face, saying that there is no need for this, and he only hopes that you will make a decision and sign early. Before the voice fell, before I had time to react, he rode on the bike and rode towards the red light of the sun.As a result, the red rays of light shot down from the sky were stirred up by his figure, and the beautiful sunset waved silently in front of his eyes.A slender shadow was thrown over, shaking on the ground in front of my eyes, getting longer and more blurred, and finally disappeared on the ground. I stood there quietly, and two tears flowed down silently. Time passed day by day, and my mother's illness has basically stabilized.At the request of my mother, I no longer accompany the bed at night.I leave the ward almost every night around ten o'clock and go home to sleep.It takes about 20 minutes to ride a bicycle from the hospital to home, passing through a street full of feasting and debauchery in the middle, which is nicknamed the "red light district".There are restaurants, karaoke halls, bathing pools, teahouses, bars and leisure and entertainment venues of various names here.The whole street seems to have no special place during the day, but every time the lights come on, the beauty and glitz of this street are fully displayed in front of the night.All kinds of red and green signboards show boundless temptation and bold show-off against the backdrop of the night.The lights at the door are dim, like a dream, slowly revealing the mystery of the world behind the door bit by bit and covertly.The women who come out of it by chance are all coquettish, glamorous and coquettish.When night falls, cars come from all directions one after another, stop under the colored lights of each house, and out of them come one by one, fat or thin, tall or short, old or strong, breathing or belching alcohol. son of a man. I have always been curious to pass through this beautiful street, rushing through the occasional provocative voices of flirtatious women and rough laughter of men, never thinking that I would stop here In the world of feasting and feasting, I never imagined that I would have any relationship with any of them.But life may suddenly change because of some accidents, some accidents, some events that I never thought of. It was in such an accident that I changed the predicament at that time.The spring breeze was still gentle that night, the street was still beautiful, and there was no sign of everything, like countless nights.I am riding a bicycle and walking through this mysterious street as usual, my eyes are still subconsciously looking curiously at both sides of the road, the scenery on both sides of the road recedes before my eyes, one door full of desire The lights are also left behind like moving stars.When my mind was dazed and numb by the familiar scenery around me, a group of men and women shouting loudly in front caught my attention.As I rode closer and closer, I realized that there was a quarrel, no, to be precise, a fight.Because I heard the screams of women outside, kept shouting stop beating, stop beating. I've always been a curious woman, and suddenly I wanted to stop and take a look.But when I saw that there were not only men but beautifully dressed women, I hesitated and just slowed down, and finally I still jumped down. I walked over, squeezed forward and tiptoed to look inside.At a glance, I saw two people kicking the man lying on the ground.When the dull kicking sound sounded, the man on the ground also let out a groan.My heart trembled suddenly: that voice is so familiar! I have a terrible presentiment! I squeezed through frantically, and the crowd shook because of me.I desperately pushed the crowd with my hands and body, and rushed forward, I wanted to see the person who was beaten.When I rushed to the innermost side, I saw the man on the ground whose limbs were curled up because of the pain. His face was facing downwards, and he was hidden in the shadows because of the crowd around him.When someone next to me kicked me, the man on the ground rolled to my feet and moaned again.This time I not only heard clearly, but also saw clearly: it was my husband!That husband whom I haven't seen for many days after being hurt by me! He is at my feet now, right in front of my eyes, but his face is covered with blood.When I stared blankly at the blood on his face and wondered where he was injured, a tall man raised his foot and kicked his husband again.I suddenly felt my blood boil all over, like an angry and ferocious tiger, I yelled and rushed towards that person.The man was caught off guard and grinned.Then, I turned around and crazily threw myself on my husband's body... My presence made everyone suddenly quiet.Someone came out to comfort them, and the two left cursing. The orange light shone on the husband's distorted face due to the pain. His half-opened eyes were dimmed, his face was blurred with blood, and even his neck and arms were covered with blood. It was hard to tell where the wound was. .The shirt was torn, and a hole in the shoulder stared out at the crowd like a terrifying eye.A piece of pale skin was exposed from inside, which was gray under the light.When I was helpless and didn't know what to do, I saw my husband suddenly became agitated, his blood-stained face became even more distorted, and his eyes, which were dull and lifeless just now, were wide open: Smelly woman, get out!Then he slapped me across the face. It was suddenly dark in front of my eyes, and I froze in place.When I understood what was happening in front of me, I sat limply on the ground like a squeezed out ball.Burning pain spread across my face, and I felt something hot and salty coming out of my mouth.I wiped it subconsciously, and I saw that it was black and red blood.I froze there for a moment.There is poignant music coming from the back door. It is a song "Red-crowned Crane" that is so sad that it makes people weep. I heard the best line "flying gently..." It seems that there is really a sad red-crowned crane flying over my head, and I can even feel a breeze when it flies by.My tears slid down my cheeks along with the long and continuous ending, and then, as the singing disappeared, I raised my head blankly, and saw a meteor flying over the distant night sky, dragging a long His beautiful tail disappeared among the stars.I think it may be the red-crowned crane.At that moment, I really hoped that I could also become a light red-crowned crane and fly away with the shooting star. Of course, it would be best to take my injured husband away from the troubles of this world, even though he still hates it now. with me. A beautiful woman came, and an intoxicating fragrance came to my face. I saw her gentle and kind eyes looking at me, and I heard her say, take him to the hospital for a bandage.A bag was handed to me, and the neckline that was too low was hanging down, revealing beautiful cleavage.I looked down and recognized it was my husband's bag.Another man came and picked up the husband.Only then did I notice that a lot of people around had dispersed, and a taxi next to me stopped here at some point.I think it was called by the girl just now.My head cleared and I realized that this was the right thing to do. The husband was still struggling and refused to come over.Amidst his scolding and with the help of everyone, I finally pushed him in.Under people's doubtful or concerned eyes, the car drove into the fast lane and drove towards a nearby hospital at high speed.In the whole process that followed, the husband was like a wounded wolf, silent, gloomy and menacing.He didn't say a word, didn't even look at me, he just obeyed my arrangement under my pressure. While he was being treated by the doctor in the dressing room, I sat in the long empty corridor feeling groggy, floating in a white dream.I saw men and women in white clothes rushing to and fro in front of me, I saw a rollaway bed covered with white sheets come and go, and I saw two white walls dangling beside me... I sat there, doing had a dream. The husband came out with two stitches above the corner of his lip, and the back of his hand was also wrapped in white gauze.There were several bruises on the washed face, which made the husband's face look funny and scary.The doctor was still insisting on checking, but the husband walked out in silence, without any expression. It was already midnight, the streets were deserted, and even taxis were pitifully few.My husband stood in front of me, like a relief, without words or actions, only the torn pieces of cloth on the back of the clothes swaying in the wind, making me feel like we are the remnants of the war, looking for the desolate, sad and helpless way home.I pushed my own car and stood behind him, not knowing how to break the silence.But I knew I had to say something and tell him to go home.There was a car approaching from a distance, and I could see it was a taxi.Then she whispered to her husband's back, let's go home!Still no response from the husband, I think he has tacitly accepted. The car pulled up next to us and the driver loaded my car in the trunk. I sat shoulder to shoulder with my husband in the back row. Ten minutes later, I entered the house.Pushing open the door, there was a faint damp musty smell coming from that corner.The wedding photos on the opposite wall of the living room are still hanging upside down, which makes my heart tense.When I came out of the bathroom, my husband was already quietly lying on his back on the bed.I walked over gently, as if afraid of disturbing him.When I was more than one meter away from the bed, I stopped, wondering if I should go to him. His eyes were slightly closed, his face was bruised and purple, and looked colorful under the light, his mouth was swollen and high, his hair was disheveled, and he looked ugly and desolate.It was only when I looked at his body that I noticed that I had spent nearly a month's salary on it for him on Valentine's Day this year.What made me even more sad was that when I carefully observed the crumpled clothes, I found that there was also a tear in the thigh of the trousers, revealing the green and bruised skin inside. I feel bad for a while.I don't know if that means anything or calls for something.I remember that on the eve of Valentine's Day, the media happily hyped up this festival in the West, injecting some after-dinner topics into our ordinary life like a pool of stagnant water.One night, my husband raised his head from the newspaper and jokingly said, I will let you receive a rose on Valentine's Day this year, so that you can experience the taste of Valentine's Day.I also jokingly said, let me give you a gift too!In fact, I have always thought that what we said was just casual talk.But when I got home at noon that day, when I heard a knock on the door, I thought it was my husband coming home from work. When I opened the door, I was surprised to receive a bright rose from a strange young man.In that beautiful plastic paper, there is also a ribbon with a bow, as well as the husband's blessings and love words.The boy's footsteps have long since disappeared without a trace, and I am still sitting on the sofa immersed in an inexplicable excitement.Because this is the first flower I received in my life, and it was a rose.Only then did I remember what my husband said, and at the same time I remembered my promise.So I took my salary and took a taxi to the shopping mall. In front of the crowded shelves with a wide variety of products, I remembered the scene where my husband once stood in front of Pierre Cardin clothing and sighed for a shirt. I remember the admiration that my husband blurted out: so Expensive, you get what you pay for, it’s really good.So I decided to buy it and paired it with a pair of trousers, which cost me almost a month's salary. The gift my husband received on Valentine's Day - although the new creases of the pants are still clear, they have been crumpled helplessly by violence, with two damaged holes blatantly flaunting, it seems that this is really God's will —Love is broken.I suddenly remembered that rose - my Valentine's Day gift.I quickly turned my head to look at the dresser, but the rose was nowhere to be seen.I remembered that I put her in a vase and put it on the dressing table at first. I remember that every time I dressed, I would look at her color and get excited. Later, it seemed that the daughter or the husband once said that she was dead. , and then it seems that I moved her somewhere.I searched the house, but found nothing.When I was looking around in the study, I found her: in the drawer of the computer desk, in a corner, quietly wrapped in a pink handkerchief. When I gently opened the handkerchief, in front of my eyes was a crumpled, dry leaf-like thing.I took her into my hands with tears, and wept for her short fate, for her short love.But I was still shocked, because there was a wisp of misty fragrance drifting from the tip of my nose - she still has life! More than two months is a long time for a rose, but she still has a hint of fragrance; more than two months seems too short for a couple who have lived for ten years, but these two months unexpectedly can change everything.God knows only two months after Valentine's Day, when the scent of roses has not completely disappeared, when the gift of Valentine's Day is still fresh, when the traces of folding on the husband's shirt and pants are still clearly visible That's when life changed.First, I ran into a like-minded netizen on the Internet, then developed into a lover by leaps and bounds, then betrayed my husband, and then faced divorce.When the wife and husband who are exchanging presents for the first time on Valentine's Day suddenly become enemies, life is one terrible joke.After ten years of marriage, I didn't care about Valentine's Day, and I didn't care about Valentine's Day gifts, but my life was smooth sailing.But when, in the eleventh year, an accidental joke led them to exchange Valentine's Day gifts, the relationship between husband and wife reached a dangerous point.What the hell is going on here?When I was still in love with my husband just now, but fell in love with another man?What kind of psychology is this? I wonder if psychologists, marriage scholars or sociologists can explain it clearly.The husband appears to be asleep in bed, with his funny face exposed by the light.I went over and took off his shoes.Help him undress slowly.He opened his eyes and seemed to be taking off his shirt and pants in pain.But soon I understood the cause of his pain: many places on his body were bruised and purple, like a big flowered blanket.I quietly wiped away my tears, went to the bathroom and fetched a basin of water to wash him.I didn't dare to raise my head, and I didn't dare to speak, like a careful girl serving my master.I slowly rubbed from his neck, moving down slowly. There was a birthmark under his chest, reddish brown, round, mixed with the bruises on his body, almost indistinguishable; there were two monkeys, one big and one small, roughly two centimeters apart on the chest roughly at the heart.He once said that the older one is me and the younger one is the daughter, because both my daughter and I belong to the monkey.He said that his wife and daughter are all in his heart, and his heart is the first to know if his wife and daughter have any disease or pain; there is a scar on his arm, which was scalded when he fried fish for me when I was pregnant; There was a scar under his knee from a dog bite when he was thirteen.There are still a few scratches on his ankles, which were scratched by the kitten raised by my daughter last year... I suddenly felt my nose sore, and tears flowed out, falling on his body, lightly Turning lightly, it shone beautifully under the lamp, like little dewdrops rolling on the leaves in the morning.In more than ten years of ups and downs and mutual affection, this familiar body has been deeply connected to my body, every inch of its skin, every spot, is also connected to my heart and nerves.How can you tell me to give up on him?How to let go of him?Over the years of suffering together, that body has almost become my own. I felt him sitting up, but my tears were dripping faster and falling faster, I still lowered my head, still wiping the dust off his body. He stretched out his hand, the gauze on his hand was dazzlingly white, and he wiped my eyes with his big clumsy hand.My tears flowed faster and more and I started to sob.His hand rose slowly from my eyes to my head, he was stroking my hair, and then slid down my head, onto my back, into my waist.He began to hug me slowly and forcefully, and I finally fell into his arms crying bitterly. That night, I slept next to him and had a nightmare.I dreamed that I was sleeping in an empty room and a man came in and made love to me.When I was wondering if it was my husband, I heard a flapping sound on the window, and then I saw a pair of melancholy eyes wide open above the bed, and there was a face outside the window, the features were covered. Anger squeezed out of shape.Then, the man ran away naked, and I saw my father chasing after him frantically with a kitchen knife, while I was surrounded by people naked and pointed out... The next morning, the husband woke up with a sad face. I heard him calling to ask for leave, and he kept saying: I'm sorry, I really can't go, you know, I will go if there is a little room.This is a challenge for me and I want to win it more than you! ... For almost ten minutes, he kept explaining apologetically.From the intermittent conversation, I understood that this accident cost him an excellent negotiation opportunity.Because this time we are facing an American businessman.The husband's company is engaged in trade, and the husband planned to fly to Guangzhou two days later to discuss a big deal.The boss of the company almost pins his hopes on his husband for this business.On the one hand, my husband has always been resourceful in negotiations. On the other hand, my husband has worked in the company's US office for two years and can speak fluent English.I'm very sad, it's my fault in the final analysis, without my affair, my husband would not go to that kind of place to make trouble, without this, he would naturally not lose this opportunity today.I blamed myself for bringing breakfast to my husband, and then sat on the sidelines quietly watching his eating posture.It's been a long time since I watched him eat peacefully. Sitting in front of him, I felt like a lifetime away. It seemed that it had been a long time since he sat in front of me and ate the breakfast I made. . He held the slice of bread in one hand, and when he was about to open his mouth wide as usual, he suddenly groaned in pain.There are still stitches in the mouth!So he had to take a bite slightly, the big semicircle on the bread that I was familiar with usually did not appear, and of course the concave character did not appear, only a small gap appeared on the corner of the bread.Then the milk had to be sucked with a straw.For the first time in so many years, my husband ate softly and delicately like a girl in love.But the bruise on the face is in contradiction with this delicate appearance, which makes me feel distressed. "I lost my phone," he suddenly stopped chewing, and squeezed out a sentence from the gap between the bread and milk in his mouth.I was taken aback, really?He nodded.That mobile phone had just been replaced for five months, and he bought it with his year-end bonus of 4,000 yuan.I am very distressed, because I can only earn a thousand dollars a month.I think, maybe this is God's punishment for not cherishing marriage and family.My mother, who was sick for a while, also came to my mind. It seems that although God allowed me to keep my marriage, the retribution for my sins fell on my relatives. I decided to stay home with my husband for a day, but when I first made this decision, I felt a little scared because I didn't know how to face my husband or how he would react.I sat on the edge of the bed, hesitating at the thought. Don't you go to work?It's already half past eight.The husband had already finished his breakfast, and although his tone was cold, there was still a hint of concern.This kind of concern encouraged me to raise my head to meet my husband's gaze, but my voice was still as small as a mosquito. I said tremblingly, I want to accompany you today, okay?There was a familiar tenderness in her husband's eyes for a moment, but this tenderness was like a flash of lightning in the dark night, and then quickly disappeared in the depths of the eyes.He fell silent.My heart became uneasy following his silence, and I couldn't help but bow my head. He finally spoke with a calm expression and tone, let you go. Despite his indifference, despite his serious and reserved appearance, he did not refuse me.I am already very happy.My mood immediately became brighter with the bright sunshine outside. There were birds chirping outside the window. It felt like there had been no birdsong for a long time. This sound evokes many childhood memories.In my memory, when I was a child, there were two jujube trees with connected branches outside the window. I woke up to the sound of birds singing almost every morning. In the early autumn when the jujubes were ripe, I was often surrounded by cheerful birds and attractive jujube trees. Use a long bamboo pole to hit the dates, so flocks of birds burst into the air, and then crackling jujubes fell from the seasons. We touched the top of our smashed heads and looked up at the carrying With the thick green leaves fluttering in the wind, a string of cheerful laughter scattered in the courtyard... that feeling is so good. I looked out the window, the birds were flying above or below, and occasionally a bird's figure crossed the glass window, flashing a gray trail.The sound of tables and chairs moving in the neighbor's house came harshly.I guess it's time to clean up the house, I don't seem to have done it since my husband left.Only then did I notice a layer of soil on the dressing table, and all kinds of cosmetics were placed all over the table.The mirror was so gray that it looked like it was separated by a layer of veil.Even the ground already had vague footprints due to a layer of dust.I tied the apron over my nightdress and started cleaning. The husband walked slowly into the living room, the gauze on his mouth was very glaring on his face, making the bruises on his face pale.He walked over, turned on the stereo, and immediately filled the room with a sad and beautiful piece of music, which was "Casablanca" sung by Betty Higgins.In the sad music, my mood that was a little bright just now became heavy again. When the mop was finally put away and the trash was taken out, I took off my apron and walked out of the bathroom.I saw the silhouette of my husband kneeling on the carpet in front of the coffee table. He put his hands on the coffee table, staring at the TV screen with a sad face, immersed in the music.On the screen, there is a cute boy who has just lost his mother behind the dumb Forrest Gump.Then I saw A-Gump standing in front of a green grave, looking sad.I turned my head, and there were two crystal clear tears sliding down silently on my husband's face, like two drops of acidic corrosive liquid dripping on my heart, causing me unbearable pain.It's been so many years, I almost forgot the way he was crying.Today, however, he knelt there helpless and helpless like a heartbroken child.He must love me, he must want to forgive me, but how his heart is hurt.He suffers because he loves me, and he suffers because he hates me. I finally worked up the courage and walked towards him.I gently knelt beside him, hugged his waist, and put my face on his back. I didn't know how to comfort his hurt heart, so I had to say sorry, sorry, sorry over and over again in a hoarse voice. ,please forgive me.I felt the trembling of his body, and felt the great grief suppressed in his strong body.In this great grief, I can imagine what kind of pain and love my husband is enduring. He finally stopped crying slowly, turned his face away, held my face with both hands, stared at my face with a pair of eyes full of love and resentment, and then moved into my eyes.His swollen mouth was trembling slowly, and his hoarse voice seemed to come from the wind flying sand all over the sky: I still love you, I still can't give up on you, you are my enemy in this life.He wrapped his arms around me and put his lips on mine.I greeted his kiss, and hugged him in the face of his bursting tears. From that moment on, my heart was tightened, and I kept swearing in guilt: If I can no longer be faithful to you in this life, let God strike me to death with lightning! He slowly unbuttoned my skirt, and I could already feel his strain because he was moaning.So I gently helped him take off his pajamas, and then my own.The bruises all over his body reminded me once again how much he cares about me.I tearfully kissed his chest, his face, the two moles on his heart.He began to inflate slowly like an inflated balloon, slowly exuding a masculine strength and aura, and then a masculine male heart began to beat louder and louder in his body, Hitting my body like a tiny drumstick.We both moaned almost simultaneously as he slowly entered me.I know we crave each other's love, each other's passion. He hugged me gently and tenderly, and I greeted him gratefully.We made love to the sound of beautiful music, to Whitney Houston's mesmerizingly sad and mysterious "I Will Always Love You," romantic heartbreak and passion.We are like a pair of beautiful goldfish, slowly going upstream from a mountain stream, surrounded by blooming mountain flowers, with groups of beautiful butterflies flying around among the flowers, the strong fragrance of flowers blowing in the cool mountain wind Arrays flowed through the body.In this kind of ecstasy, we experienced the joy of going upstream. We flapped our little wings vigorously, opened our mouths to swallow water in and spit it out, we swam over one mountain top after another, turned around a mountain ridge and Turning a mountain ridge, this kind of fighting makes us hard and happy.然而，世间的事总是十有八九不如意，当我们眼看高峰在即时，却发生了意外。丈夫突然喘息声加大，像一只中箭的兽突然将微闭着的眼睛睁大了，满含痛苦与怨恨，他大声呻吟着从我的身体里滑了出来，沮丧地气喘嘘嘘地躺在我的旁边。 我不行，对不起。丈夫终于说话了，声音低得几乎是从肚子的某个角落里传出来的。他眼睛空茫一片，像一条搁浅在沙滩上的鱼，翻着白白的肚皮，没有生气，没有表情。我知道他一定是想起什么了，一定是想起我的身体上别人的痕迹了。我脑中一片惭愧，我想起王真强说的他需要时间来治愈他的创伤。于是我柔情地移过身体，对着他耳朵说，我知道你需要时间，让我等你吧，不管多长！只要你肯给我机会。