Chapter 5 third chapter

The next morning, I woke up to the phone ringing.I knew it was Sima Xiao calling, because it was the room phone that rang.There is still such tenderness in his voice, a tenderness that touches my heart every time.He asked gently as if he was afraid of scaring me, how is it, have you rested?I said it was ok.Then he said come to my office in a while, and I will take you to consult about the postgraduate entrance examination. Put down the phone and wake up.At this time, I found myself in a dilemma: if I went to his graduate school, I sold my body last night to go to school, what a shameless woman I am; For lust, then I should be considered a lustful woman.Either way makes me a bad woman out and out.

I was filled with remorse and contempt for myself.Yeah, how do I face him.Is it a student?Or a friend?Imagining him sitting in the office, where would he put me when facing his subordinates and students?And if I really become his student, how can I get along with him?I was in a dilemma. The idea of ​​going to school was not particularly strong, so the difficulties I faced in going to school and the problems I faced today made me consider giving up.When this idea became more and more clear, I actually felt a sense of relief.It is only now that I really realize that the reason for coming here is to take the postgraduate entrance examination is just a rational and subconscious reason, and the real purpose is to see him.Thinking of this, I once again felt my filth and shame, and really wished I could slap myself twice in the mouth.

Having made up his mind, he decided to go home.It was less than nine o'clock, and I dressed up and went to the restaurant to eat.The restaurant was deserted, and a few people were eating quietly.I casually picked up a few slices of bread and ham, brought a glass of milk, and sat down at a table. While eating the bread, I thought about going back.At this time, out of the corner of my eye, I felt someone was staring at me.I turned my head and looked over, and found a white man sitting at a table against the wall in the distance, and he was hastily looking away from me.But when I turned my head and continued to eat my meal, I felt his gaze fixed on me again.I couldn't help being surprised: Not only was I not young and I was not beautiful, what did he see me do.In doubt, I couldn't help lowering my head to take a closer look at the clothes. There was nothing wrong with it, and I touched my hair, and there seemed to be nothing wrong.In this doubt, I suddenly wondered whether he was a guest in the room next to me and heard my privacy last night.Since the room is poorly insulated, I could always hear clearly what was going on in the neighboring room.Thinking of this, he felt a fever on his face, so he lowered his head and speeded up his eating.

Just as I was nervously dealing with the food on the plate as quickly as possible, I found that he was standing next to me with his food silently.He was polite and said in a hesitant tone, can I sit here?Facing his abruptness, although I was extremely reluctant in my heart, I couldn't refuse his politeness, so I said with a stiff expression, whatever. He sat down, took a sip from the glass of milk on the plate, and said, I seem to have seen you? I think this trick is done in too many TV movies, so I say deadpan, huh? He asked me again if I was from Jiangsu, and I said no. He was a little embarrassed, and said embarrassedly, I'm sorry, I admitted the wrong person.

I felt that I had wronged him, so I gave him a gentle smile.Seeing that I had a good attitude, he said again, "It's too similar, you are too similar to a friend of mine."Then he asked curiously, where are you from? I said Yancheng. By this time I had finished eating, so I stood up and said I was sorry I had to go.At this time, he also stood up and said, I have finished eating too, and I will go with you.I couldn't refuse, so I walked out of the restaurant side by side with him. Walking down the long, dimly lit corridor from the dining room to the elevator, he said some polite greetings, and his tone and voice gave me a sudden, strange sense of déjà vu.

When I walked up the stairs, I stopped and turned my head and told him that I live upstairs and don't use the elevator. At this time, I realized that this face in the dim light had really been seen somewhere before.So, subconsciously took a few glances.Seeing my surprised eyes, he stood there and asked curiously what happened.I said that I seem to have a feeling that I have seen you.He laughed, and this smile made me feel more familiar. He said, I felt like I saw you in the corridor yesterday. Oh, it was only then that I remembered that he was the man I met in the corridor last night, and I also remembered that when we met last night, I did have the feeling of having known each other before.So I asked where you are from, and he said Jiangsu, but doing business in Yancheng Tianjiang and other places, maybe I met you in Yancheng, maybe we met or quarreled in the street in Yancheng, It has never been known.He laughed, and I couldn't help laughing and said that was impossible.Then we said goodbye to each other and went back to our rooms.

About half an hour later, I had already checked out and walked out of the hotel gate. Standing under the dazzling sun, I felt ashamed and guilty. It seemed that the dirty thoughts in my heart and the shameful behavior of last night were being peeped by the bright sun.It feels like a thief who is afraid of the sun and people after stealing something.Pedestrians on the street are either careless or in a hurry.There are two lady-like women walking towards the door of the hotel facing me. While laughing mysteriously, they cast curious eyes on me.Feeling guilty, I felt my heart beat faster when I walked towards them: Did they regard me as their kind?This made me hate this hotel, because when I walked in, I was still a decent, pure, and innocent woman, and when I stepped out of this hotel, that innocent woman had become an extramarital woman.

As I quickly left the door and walked towards the side of the road, I waved to a taxi parked nearby.At this time, a man got out of a black car that was running, and greeted me like an old acquaintance, walking towards me.I looked over, and it turned out to be the man I met just now.He stood in front of me and asked where to go with ease.When he heard me say that he was going back to Yancheng, he actually laughed. It seems that we are really destined. I happen to be going to Yancheng too, so you don't need to take the train. I began to feel embarrassed, not knowing whether to refuse or obey.When he saw my hesitation, he jokingly said that there is no reason to hesitate, he was afraid that I would not succeed, I am such an adult, I can still kidnap and traffic you.

I couldn't help being amused by him, and I said casually: That's right, she's such an old woman, I'm afraid I can't sell her?After finishing speaking, we both laughed together. In the car, I knew his name was Wang Zhenqiang, and he was in the pharmaceutical business.I often run around in Yancheng, Tianjiang and my hometown in Jiangsu.This hotel in Tianjiang has private rooms for him for many years.He asked about my friend in the corridor, so I had no choice but to lie and say that it was a friend who helped me contact me about the postgraduate entrance examination.He seemed to be very interested in my friend whom he met last night, and always inquired about my friend, for example, is he a university teacher?How did you meet me?I was a little unhappy answering these questions, so I hummed and laughed, feeling a bit of regret in my heart: Why are you taking his car?Why did he inquire about my privacy?Seeing that his hair, which has been smeared with too much gel water, is stiff and black, neatly parted on both sides, and there seems to be a vague fragrance wafting from him, and his white and greasy little face, he immediately Some regretted taking a stranger's car.

The car drove onto the highway, and the monotonous scenery outside the window made me feel like I was sitting in front of a game console playing a driving game.Only the tall telephone poles outside the car window swam from a distance to my eyes and disappeared behind me like giants in the field. My mind became drowsy in this constant repetition, which made me feel almost I was having a ridiculous and inexplicable dream. At this time, the mobile phone rang, and I suddenly woke up from my dazed consciousness.Sima Xiao said on the phone, why haven't you come yet?When he heard that I was on my way back, he said in surprise, what's going on?How to do the postgraduate entrance examination, I have already asked you how to go through the formalities.In the end, he said disappointedly, I will send you the materials, you should fill them out carefully and strive for success.Then, I heard his voice a little hoarse, and he said emotionally, I will miss you... At this moment, the phone suddenly cut off.When I called again, I found that the mobile phone was in arrears.

Wang Zhenqiang in front seemed to be paying attention to my call all the time, so when I put the phone back in the bag in frustration, he had already guessed my question, so he stretched out his phone and said, use mine.I said forget it, it's all right.But because of Sima Xiao's last words, my heart was already in a state of confusion.I closed my eyes, everything in front of me was suddenly occupied by Sima Xiao.The emotion that surged up last night came again like a rising tide, wave after wave, and I felt that I was missing him uncontrollably, thinking of his voice, his breath, his smile, his actions ...I replayed every scene and every detail of last night over and over again in my mind... At this time, "This Love Can Be Waited" sung by a famous singer sounded in the carriage. The singer used a hoarse voice and a hoarse voice to express the heartache of love, and I couldn't help being shocked.I opened my eyes and saw that Wang Zhenqiang was also fully immersed in the music.He loves the song too, as do I and my academics.Could it be that we also have some fate with him?This thought flashed through my mind, like a ray of light that occasionally crosses the lake, and after a momentary jump, it was so illusory that it was nowhere to be found. It was noon when I got home.Push open the door, everything remains the same.On the coffee table in the living room, there was a puppy hugged by my daughter staring at me with a pair of black eyes. On the floor, my daughter’s little slippers were buckled up one by one, while my husband’s big slippers were lying neatly on the ground. Next to the little slippers, it seemed that the two of them stood in front of me and winked at me.Facing my home and all the familiar things in front of me, standing in the middle of the living room, I suddenly felt as if I had just woken up from a passionate and beautiful dream.And when I woke up, I realized how ashamed and regretful I was in this family relationship I was used to, so much so that I didn't dare to look at my husband in the wedding photo on the opposite wall.When I avoided the photos and fled into the bedroom, I saw two plump and huge pillows on the bed as if they were demonstrating to me, exaggerating and dazzlingly protruding from the two big green leaves on the pillow cover, like a pair of big sorrows that were scrutinizing me s eyes.All of a sudden, a cold air came up from my back like a cold wind bursting through the window in winter, and I found myself covered in goose bumps. The sunlight outside the window shone on the opposite building, and it was quiet and harmonious. Two black birds flew past, leaving behind one or two vague calls.I stood up, and the guilty feeling once again prompted me to run to the window and draw the curtains, because I felt ashamed of facing the sun.In the dark room, I felt my tense nerves suddenly relax, like a balloon bursting in the air and collapsed to the bed.I could smell my husband's slightly salty body odor, the faint scent of his shampoo, and even some sweet semen smell from my husband's poplar tree when it bloomed.I hugged my husband's pillow to feel warm and distressed, helpless and terrified.The poor consciousness kept struggling and rushing in the puddle of the pillow, in the chaos above the head, and finally rose and drifted farther and farther away, and I fell asleep. I had a strange and scary dream.I dreamed that I was walking on a mountain path, it was dusk, the path was narrow, and the thorn bushes on both sides kept scratching my legs.From the low woods on both sides, from the tall and dense woods in the distance, and from the shadowy darkness of the mountains, there were continuously unknown insects' chirps, strange birds' chirps, and terrifying beast roars.I walked terribly, and although my feet were getting faster and faster, my legs were getting weaker and weaker.I looked around hopelessly, and suddenly saw a figure standing on a high slope not far away, a tall figure in a black windbreaker.That was Sima Xiao!Like seeing a savior, I couldn't help crying.I saw his black trench coat was blown by the wind like a huge kite in spring, bulging, swaying and flying.He held out his hand and motioned for me to fly.So I dared to jump up like a swimming position, stretched my limbs, only to find that I really flew into the air.Sima Xiao also flew up when I flew in front of him, and wrapped me into his large windbreaker.The windbreaker is like a black wing suddenly blowing the wind.We passed two mountain tops, and when we reached the third mountain, I suddenly saw a black hole with small black animals flying in and out.When we were still some distance away from the cave, I found myself attracted by some kind of force.I hugged Sima Xiao desperately, Sima Xiao also pulled me desperately, but in the end I was still sucked in.That's a batcave.Inside, thousands and tens of thousands of bats were screaming in a piercing and terrifying way.Before I found a hiding corner, I was surrounded by swarms of bats.I felt their slippery wings and bodies, and their stinky smell... I struggled desperately, my whole body was itchy, and my arms were excruciatingly painful, and suddenly I saw bright red blood flowing out of my body, it was bats biting Me, I will be eaten by them.I saw blood gushing out of a hole, and there was a gurgling sound.Then, a small black head grew out of the blood hole, and it grew bigger and bigger, and finally I found out that it was a big wing.I'm turning into a bat.I—ah—ah——screamed desperately.I woke up and saw that my arms were still in the air, and I even felt a faint pain, and my whole body was drenched in cold sweat. I don't know what this dream portends, but I think it must be an omen, and a bad omen at that.Maybe my life will be rough from now on, maybe my character will change from now on. My daughter's voice suddenly rang in my ears, and I could already see her flushed little face.It turned out that her husband and daughter had returned at some point.I slept for three hours. My husband also came over and asked me what was wrong with concern.I quickly adjusted my emotions, knowing that I could not let my husband doubt me, and I could not let my emotions fluctuate. I sat up hastily, said nothing, had a nightmare.The husband worriedly said, "Your mobile phone has been shut down for arrears. I am so anxious that I am going to pay you."Then, he seemed to remember something, why did he come back so soon, I thought you would arrive very late tonight.So I told him I just happened to hit a hitchhiker.When he heard that I didn't know the driver, he worriedly warned me not to do this kind of thing again.I couldn't help thinking of Wang Zhenqiang's thoughts when I was hitchhiking, so I laughed and said, do you think your wife still has the idea of ​​being indecent?He said of course, you are a very nice woman.I couldn't help thinking in my heart that he hadn't come out of the obsessed state of mind at that time. After dinner, I pretended to be relaxed and sat beside my daughter and husband, watching a children's cartoon in a daze.My careless husband didn't seem to notice my change, but just teased my daughter who was obsessed with watching TV.He happily tapped his daughter's head with two twisting fingers, and the daughter who was engrossed in the TV shook her head slightly and ignored it.Then the husband stretched out his hand and pinched the daughter's fleshy little face. Perhaps this pinching made the daughter feel pain, or because the husband's harassment irritated her, the daughter screamed.The husband on the side actually grinned and laughed while admiring his masterpiece.When the daughter just stopped crying and was fascinated by the TV again, he stretched out his hand again and grabbed her daughter's pigtails.The daughter turned her head this time, suddenly roared, rushed over, and then pounded his chest with her small fist, and the husband still grinned and laughed. When I'm in a bad mood, I always hate my husband's pranks, but today, in an unspeakable mood, the actions of the father and daughter injected into my troubled mood like a shot in the arm , which makes me feel that this is a kind of family happiness: I am a happy woman, my husband is warm and generous, and my daughter is smart and beautiful.What can my husband ask for?Thinking of this, I feel that this kind of family happiness is tainted with a sad color. The husband got away from his daughter's little fist, turned around on the ground, walked up to me, and suddenly lowered his head to my ear, and then a furry feeling made my ears itchy, and then a heat The hot air brushed past my ears again, and I couldn't help twitching, and then there was a sound wave in the itchy warm air, which meandered into my ears: I can't stand it tonight. Seeing my husband's carefree face and his warm mood like spring, I suddenly felt like a poor fool.As soon as this feeling subconsciously emerged, I was stunned and stunned as if I had been punched by someone. I was stunned by my own thoughts and terrible betrayal.If all my guilt and repentance since the incident happened are sincere, it can only be regarded as a confession for myself as a bad woman, a person who betrayed my life creed. As for the seriousness and harm of the incident to my husband, in fact It's not until today that I really feel and realize it.The injury was so severe, so terrible, so unforgivable, that I felt that I deserved to die. It was almost nine o'clock when my husband went to take a shower.I sat there looking at the innocent back of my husband with heartache, feeling that my heart was breaking apart, and the jagged pain was constantly distorting my face, my demeanor, and my consciousness.I said over and over again in my heart, God, if you want to punish, punish me, a sinner! At this time, the TV has changed to a long TV series that seems to never end. The beautiful heroine and the hero are in love to death. I have always hated this kind of hypocritical love drama.But today I was also attracted by the heroine's love fate.There is a piece of music played by saxophone throughout the play, called "The Covenant of Heaven".This piece of music seems to describe a pair of lovers who are about to be separated by death. They meet in heaven helplessly with eyes full of attachment, sadness and pain in front of death. It is also like a couple standing in front of a new grave on the grass after the rain. A haggard man, helplessly waiting for the promise of heaven in the future.The first time I was attracted by a love drama, tears flowed down my face. The little daughter who has been intoxicated in this long drama heard my voice of wiping her nose and crying tears, turned her head curiously, flashed her eyes full of sadness because of the TV plot, and said, Mom, are you crying? Yes, I know I can't control my emotions anymore, I don't know whether to cry for my love path, or for the fate of love between myself and my husband.The little braids of the daughter curled up crookedly, which was the clumsy masterpiece of the husband.Once again, my tears burst from my heart for my husband and daughter: what would they do without me? The husband came out with wet hair.Wearing the pajamas I bought for him, the familiar scent of soap exuded from him, faintly hidden.He said affectionately, you should also take a bath, it will relieve the fatigue of the car ride.Then I told my daughter that it's time to go to bed, otherwise I wouldn't be able to get up in the morning. The daughter turned her head at this time and shouted loudly, I want to sleep with my mother today.I knew it must be that the daughter who hadn't seen me the night before, who hadn't been separated from me, did it because she missed me.As if relieved, I watched my husband's reaction with concern.And my husband is turning his head to see my reaction.I was timid in my heart, but I still tried my best to avoid my husband's eyes and agreed to my daughter. The daughter yelled, yay—the husband must have been disappointed as he walked helplessly into another room.But I know that this arrangement should be the best ending for me tonight.After such a one-night stand, I couldn't face him, let alone accept him.I need time, I need to adjust.The night was getting deeper and deeper in my daughter's dream. I hid in the darkness, like an insect hiding in a leaf, with my limbs curled up, but my consciousness felt all the movements with fear and sensitivity.Everything is so absurd, there is no order, no reason, no cause and effect, only a feeling dominates the sensitive heart.The voice of the night is screaming in loneliness, the eyes of the night are wide open in pain, the breath of the night is blowing gently in resentment, but the soul of the night is wandering in the air.I timidly went to the foot of the soul, want to ask, who am I, am I a wife, or a lover?To hell, or to heaven? My mobile phone was shut down, so I had to take the time to pay the mobile phone bill quickly.Walking out of the payment center, everything on the street is chaotic and disorderly.People's heads are moving, cars are coming and going, and on the huge billboards on the roadside, the young girl is sexy and bares her chest cleavage, kicking up her round butt in an exaggerated and ambiguous manner, holding a chic The mobile phone reminds people of infinity.Children dressed in rags on the side of the road followed the pedestrians and begged constantly, and one of the children was reprimanded loudly by the pedestrians who followed in a hurry.There is also a group of people who bought old mobile phones blindly selling them to passers-by, and groups of young students walked in the distance and laughed like no one else.In the daytime hustle and bustle of the city, in the midday sun, busy or idle crowds are like dust blown in a strong wind, flying around.This may be the modernization, diversification, commercialization and individualization of the metropolis.There are no familiar faces, no warm greetings, and even the smiles are commercial and professional. I stand on the street like a speck of dust in the air, not knowing where is the end of life and where is the destination of the soul.A pair of men and women of extremely disproportionate age came over hugging each other. The woman wore a plain dress, pure as water, elegant like a lily, while the man was thick and strong, with a round belly, like a lily. An old pagoda tree, yes, just like the strangely shaped old tree in front of my hometown when I was a child.This must not be a couple, I thought to myself.When the man and woman walked by, the girl gently brushed her bangs on her forehead with her hand, and then walked over lightly.Then, I suddenly felt my guts grow, as if the girl put a piece of guts in my body when she lifted her bangs.So, for the first time, I stood upright on the street, facing the bright sunshine and all kinds of people who stopped or passed.Because I know very well that no one recognizes me, that no one knows that I slept with a man other than my husband the day before.Then I picked up my cell phone, stood on the street, and decided to make a quick call to my lover.Because it has been more than a day since the unfinished phone call in the car, and there is no news.After a long ringing but no one answered, I hung up in disappointment. On the way back, he dialed his phone again and again, but no one answered.I suddenly felt a little scared, even though we have been in contact so much, even though I love him so much, when we suddenly couldn't contact him after a one-night stand, my sensitive and suspicious personality made me panic for a while. This speculation flashed in my mind like a revolving lantern: Isn't he Sima Xiao?Is he a liar?Why don't I go to his office and have a look?Why am I so eager to have sex with him? ... I rushed home quickly to check the mailbox to see if there was any message from him.When I opened the mailbox, I saw his two new mails lying quietly in the mailbox.Panicked and short of breath, I finally took a long breath and felt guilty for my distrust of him. first letter second letter His confession touched me in an instant, and I felt that tide of passion was rapidly expanding again. All the consciousness in my mind was: I love him, love him, and never stop!I quickly replied with a heartfelt letter: In the evening, my husband didn't come home for dinner like most of the time.After dinner, I indulged in the TV series I had watched the night before.When my daughter saw that I was also keen on this film, her emotions became high, and she kept chirping like a bird, actively telling me the plot of the play.I know the name of this TV series from my daughter's mouth.Maybe the plot touched my sensitive nerves, maybe it was the lover's unfortunate fate that resonated with me, and my attention was completely sucked in, like a magnet and iron filings, and the whole emotion fluctuated with the plot, or Sad or sad, happy or sad.When the ending song sang "Meeting you, how can I not believe that this is fate; I met you, I know that I can't resist this love..." I felt my eyes moisten because of the sympathy of the plot. It expresses all my feelings, and expresses the helplessness faced by a woman in the face of a relationship that is somewhat extravagant and impermanent to her. The whole song is like weeping and complaining, with lingering resentment.Like a sponge that suddenly fell into the water, I quickly absorbed enough water. It was heavy and dripping with water. It seemed that every pore was seeping tears and sadness.It seems that I am not the only woman who is hurt by love, otherwise how could the director interpret such a plot; there must be some feelings that human beings cannot control, otherwise how could so many people in this world believe in fate; There are some stories that human beings cannot choose, otherwise, how could there be so many idiots and resentful women in the world.There are always some unpredictable plots in the unexpected life, which cannot be crossed by us ordinary people.Perhaps it is precisely because of these plots that life becomes colorful and glamorous; perhaps it is precisely because of the accidents in life that make life more exciting. In the infection of the plot, my rich feelings repeat and develop my father's passion and romance again. I feel that the ending song of this TV series seems to be written for our love, and I can't wait to tell him my thoughts.In this irresistible impulse, my passionate heart once again made me walk into the study and open the mailbox.I saw a letter he just sent: Like a watery sponge being squeezed for a while, my heart became heavy and damp because of love.I tapped the keyboard quickly: I miss you too, unforgettable! "Meeting you, how can I not believe that this is fate; meeting you, I know that I can't resist this love..." I think I can't resist you, let us meet and burn in the gathering... My emotions are like a wild wolf running wild, jumping on the wilderness of lovesickness.I ran across the vast prairie, jumped over clumps of thorns, rushed through dense mountains and forests, and flew over patches of rapids. I felt that the thoughts in my body were rushing, stirring, releasing and flying along with this crazy gallop. Flying madly in happiness. I sat in front of the computer, immersed in this excitement and talking.When I was getting carried away and was about to tell my emotions and thoughts, suddenly there was a smell that floated into my nasal cavity quietly, it was a smell of alcohol.Then an unexpected feeling jumped in my mind several times, and then spread throughout my body like lightning. I only felt a kind of thorn stabbing into my back, and a sharp pain came faintly.I suddenly stopped the movement of my hands and turned my head in fear. My husband came in at some point, and was standing behind me with his body bent, his head almost touching mine. what are you writing?The bewildered husband stared at me curiously with red eyes and asked, writing a love letter? I sat there, twisted backward, tongue-tied under the onslaught of pungent booze, just staring dumbfounded at my husband's slack, crooked tie, and alcohol-smeared sweat from under his open-necked shirt. Irritated and reddened skin. I am silly! yeah what am i doingHow do I answer? Before I could react, I heard my husband chanting with his tongue hard: met-meet-you-how-could-make-me-not-believe-this-is... I woke up suddenly and saw the open mailbox on the screen and the WORD window where I was writing.So I let out a sigh of relief: God has eyes, I just chose to write a letter in WORD today.After my heart was settled, I quickly stood up and pulled my husband to the sofa next to me to sit down. I found that my husband drank a lot of alcohol and his walking was a little unsteady.I quickly adjusted my flustered state, tried my best to divert my husband's attention, and pretended to be concerned and said, why do you drink so much wine and don't know how to cherish yourself? My husband didn’t forget what happened just now, he still had red eyes, and he wobbled my hand again and again to stand up, and rubbed his red eyes over and over again, trying to reach out. Looking over at the screen, he kept muttering, are you writing a love letter?to whom? My heart was sinking rapidly, but I clearly knew that I had to remain calm, and that I could fool my husband in this state.I pressed his body on the sofa again, then quickly brought a glass of water to his mouth, and with a relaxed and innocent look, I told my husband that I wanted to write an article and publish it on the Internet, including my daughter The lyrics in the TV series I watched are very beautiful. I sat in front of the computer again, blocked my husband's view with my body, and then quickly clicked on the letter in the mailbox to reply, and sent the half-written letter as an attachment, while continuing to tell big lies.I said, if I read the lyrics to you, I believe you will like it too. As I recited the lyrics that my husband had just read, I shamelessly watched my husband's reaction.Under the influence of alcohol, the husband's thinking became obviously dull. He stood up again, swayed a few times, and started walking outside before he could stand still.And muttering sour, sour, sour, as long as it's not that stupid online dating.Then shook his head and walked out of the study. When I came back to my senses and saw the prompt "Your letter has been sent successfully" displayed on the screen, I found myself in a cold sweat.As the night deepened, the daughter fell asleep in her hut.I don't know when the wind has picked up outside the window, and the wide leaves of the Fatong downstairs kept swaying through the window, and the sound was mixed and mixed.The aluminum alloy window frames also began to bump randomly without rhythm, knocking on the eardrums, and continuously sent a gust of cool wind, the dust rushed in, and a smell of dust permeated wantonly, filling the air. Every corner of the room stimulated my nasal cavity more and more strongly, and I sneezed several times in a row.I don't know how I will face my husband next. The careless husband completely forgot what happened just now when he came out of the bathroom. He lay beside me and kissed my cheek tenderly.I tightened my body in my husband's arms. I was tormented by his trusting state and my shameless behavior just now.I curled up like a poor frog or something that lived in a dark well.I felt dirty and ugly, small and shrunken, doing shameless deeds without shame, in corners where people couldn't see, when people weren't looking.In the deep night of the house, I slowly climbed up from the black well of shame, crawled and slid down the scarred well wall covered with smooth moldy moss over and over again, with shame and shame. Humbly, with repentance and exhaustion, he finally showed his ugly head.I knew I had to meet my husband's passion and lust. I am no longer worthy of this heart that loves me, and I am not worthy of this person who loves me.However, the careless husband kissed my lips, my cheeks, and my neck passionately and passionately.I tried my best to please my husband by pretending to be intoxicated. This kind of deception made me feel more sinful.I thought of the story of "The Farmer and the Snake", and felt like an evil snake lying in the farmer's arms, pretending to be dead, but actually hurting the farmer.Maybe there is a god in the dark, and there are gods who are watching my vicious behavior. If you punish me, punish my dirty soul. The husband slowly fell asleep, his arms still tightly around the no longer innocent body.In the even breathing of my husband, the condemnation of my conscience made me feel extremely painful again, and it was difficult to sleep.Throughout the night, I struggled with regret and helplessness, feeling like a trapped beast about to go mad, desperate to escape and invincible in the shackles of the night.I know that I am my own enemy, and I cannot defeat myself.