Chapter 12 Chapter Eleven

Half a month later, after some competition, I finally defeated the other two opponents and won the contract of the bookstore.According to Director Yang’s reminder, in the contracting competition, in addition to coming up with a complete set of plans, I also unexpectedly increased the contracting revenue by 3,000. The other two opponents were defeated at once, and then retreated out with a sense of humor. .I know that at the end of the year, even if I can't complete the task of 23,000 yuan, Director Yang will persuade several other leaders, and then use the continuation of the bookstore as an excuse to reduce the contract fee to 20,000 yuan.In those days, my gratitude to Director Yang was almost indescribable. I bought things for him several times, but he refused them all. It was out of pity or sympathy that he helped me so much.

Yuan Yilin was taken aback when he heard about my job change. He first made a quick phone call and called a few friends who were in the book business, and then hosted a big banquet so that I could get to know them.At the dinner table, those friends slapped their chests chivalrously and vowed to help me with all their strength. Afterwards, Yuan Yilin taught me a lot of business experience.From then on, I stepped on a small tricycle temporarily borrowed from my work unit, walked through the biting cold wind, and started my bumpy business career. This is an unusually cold winter, according to meteorological experts, it is almost the coldest winter in two decades.Due to the huge change in work, the victory in the first battle, and especially the great assistance of Director Yang to me, I feel full of ambition. Therefore, wearing that bulging clothes, not only the cold outside has almost no effect on me, I even feel that my heart There is always a fiery energy that has not been used.At that time, my greatest hope was that I could break out a new world in a new field and "thank" Li Zifeng and Chang Tianli for "cultivating" me.

It is true that everything is difficult at the beginning.Although, the bad energy in my heart has been expanding, especially under the encouragement of the desire to make money.But in the early days, I still couldn't figure out the way to do business, which made me sometimes have depressing thoughts.Especially riding a tricycle on the street, there is always a kind of downcast sadness, especially afraid of meeting acquaintances.Because at my age, when many of my friends and classmates were already driving their own cars to call the wind and rain, I was hanging around, and even pedaled a tricycle like some migrant workers who had just entered the city, especially because I had to be like them. I was also yelled at by some road policemen and even fined, which made me feel even more humiliated and unbearable.

Because I was riding a tricycle, I couldn’t take the main road to buy a new book, so I had to take some remote trails, one of which happened to be not far from Yuzhi’s office building. Every time I passed by, I could clearly see Seeing the sporadic potted flowers on the windows of that building, and the bright lights shining through the windows.I don't know why every time I walked that road, I felt short of breath, and I was always afraid that he would find me in such a desperate state.But one day, when I finally drove past him on three wheels, I cried because of his ignorance. It was a dark afternoon, I was wearing an old down jacket as usual, a woolen hat on my head, a gray scarf around my neck, and a broken tricycle on my feet, and I was walking on this narrow street.In front of me was a three-wheeled waste collector, on which sat an old man in a worn-out padded jacket, who occasionally yelled at the top of his voice.I couldn't help but wonder, would the people on the street compare me to this old man?Or recognize us as a gang?Just as I was looking around, looking for an opportunity to overtake this broken car, so as not to be regarded as the old man's companion, I suddenly saw Yu Zhi walking on the sidewalk ahead.

I haven't seen him since last winter, when I saw him with his woman under his office building.A year has passed, and I have seldom wasted thinking about him.In my feeling, this man has become a distant scenery, no matter how magnificent or stalwart, it is the pride of his own world, and has nothing to do with me.However, when I suddenly met him in such a state, and became tense and bewildered, I realized that my nerves were still inextricably linked with him.When he raised his head and looked ahead, I almost wanted to throw down the car and run away, but I was unable to run away or stop. I could only let the wheels under my feet turn forward mechanically, waiting dully for the development of things.

He was still handsome, wearing a tie under his black leather jacket, and that tie was not one I recognized anymore.He held a black leather bag under one arm, and looked forward blankly. He glanced at the old man in front of me who was bending over and pedaling a bicycle. From my perspective, I could almost feel his gaze passing through my hat. Afterwards, the resulting slight tremor.But when my car slowly approached and intersected with him, leaving each other's backs, I realized that he didn't notice me at all.I suddenly realized that I must have changed too much!In his eyes, whether I look like a laid-off worker selling vegetables or a farmer setting up a street stall is of secondary importance. The key point is that I am no longer worthy of his attention.Then I felt as if I had been hit hard, and I started to cry while pedaling the car in a daze.

For several days, my mood was at a low ebb. Since I took over the bookstore, all the energy and enthusiasm seemed to be drained away. I couldn't help but miss the poor but decent days in the past.So, the hatred for Chang Tianli and Li Zifeng made me grit my teeth again.I kept swearing that one day I would get my revenge on these two men and settle my losses. No matter how bad my mood is, I have to live my life and do business. Otherwise, I will not only have no money to earn and support my family, but I may also be in debt. This is the biggest difference between running a business and earning a salary.In this way, I tried my best to go to the book market on three wheels almost once a day, or every other day, or to learn about the market situation of the book market, the best-selling book market, or to buy new books.One afternoon about five days later, I was wearing a large blue overalls, rolled up my sleeves like a vegetable seller, and was carrying a heavy box of books from the tricycle. When I was about to go to the house, suddenly there was a black car The car pulled up next to my bookstore.I didn't care, because officials or scholars who drove often visited the bookstore.Therefore, I still carried the bookcase, twisted my body and walked into the shop step by step.But when I went into the house and unloaded the box, and went out to move another box of books, I suddenly saw a person getting out of the car, standing not far from the car, staring at me blankly.

That's Yu Zhi! That heartless, heartless ex-husband! I also froze in place for a while, letting the cold wind raging hands pull my hair, cover my left eye for a while, cover my left cheek for a while, my heart seemed to be thrown suddenly in this unexpected encounter. Into a frozen lake, cold, painful and helpless.It has been more than a year. Since the divorce, this hard-hearted man took the initiative to come to see me for the first time, just like when he unexpectedly found me to fall in love, which shocked me greatly.He is always so silent and rational, never doing anything emotional until the last moment.I hated the way he acted, but perhaps it was this shortcoming that kept me attached to him to this day.If it is said that I am grateful to him for coming to see me, it is better to say that I hate him more.

We stood like this, separated by a distance of fifteen meters.It's like people in two societies are setting off each other, showing poverty and wealth.What a disparity in comparison!He was wearing a suit and leather shoes, driving a bicycle, and I was unkempt, riding three wheels every day. Relieved from the great grief, he became furious for a while. Let's see the fun, how about it?Are you happy?I tried my best to suppress the feelings of grievance and shame, and pulled the strand of hair that was blown by the cold wind past my cheek to behind my ear, and said angrily. I've always wanted to see you, but I'm afraid it won't work well.He had come over, not only ignored my anger, but said calmly.I understand the meaning of his words very well. He is such a person who never does things that are useless, and never do things that are not beneficial.

My eyes were already wet, and it was difficult to speak because my throat was choked, so I could only listen to his plain words: A few days ago, one afternoon, I saw you riding a three-wheeled past, and I realized it was you.I thought, something must have happened to you, otherwise how could you pedal three rounds?I have been inquiring about you at work for the past few days, but I found you through the office. My tears were already streaming down, and I was moved just because this hard-hearted man said a few words that seemed to care about me.It made me hate the man who made me so weak as much as I hated myself.The sky has dimmed, and the two rows of poplar trees with bare branches in front are spreading the hazy night light downwards from a height. In the distance, a huge light box is shooting the changing light through rows of flowing subtitles. These bare trees.My fragile emotions became panicked by this sudden night, and for some reason, I suddenly wished that he could stay with me a little longer.

I forget my role too easily, and when I was waiting for the man in front of me to invite me to dinner and comfort me, his cell phone rang. He answered the phone, and I knew it was his wife's call as soon as I heard it.Because he was talking softly, I have something to do, I may have to come back later, he even said, don't wait for me to eat. As if I suddenly woke up, I felt that I had been shamefully deceived and fooled. In fact, I understood that it was my own unworthy emotions that fooled me.I became very annoyed because of my embarrassing thoughts and behavior just now, and shouted loudly at Yu Zhi who had just turned off the phone: You don't have to come and see me, I'm fine! What's the matter?He looked puzzled, baffled by my sudden outburst of anger. While imagining his wife and his life with his wife, I shouted frantically, stay away from me, don't let me see you! He looked at me inexplicably and said, why?I hope we can talk, I think you need help. help? !I repeated these two words with a loud sneer, and shouted angrily, I need your help?Are you mistaken?Did you forget the vow I gave you when we parted? ...so he didn't speak. remember?I can do what I said, I will never beg you, never need you!I'm still declaring it out loud.Several customers in the store had already walked over, standing by and watching the development of the situation, and passers-by were also stopping their bicycles, looking lively with their legs up. Yu Zhi obviously couldn't hang on because of people watching. Standing in front of me, his voice suddenly became cold and stinging like a cold wind blowing on his face. He raised a slap and shook me to stop arguing, and said , good good good good!I remember this sentence.That being the case, I'd better hide away, I hope you can live better! better!He said better, my tears burst out suddenly, but I gritted my teeth and held back. He turned and walked to the car.And I stubbornly threw the hair that was blown in front of my face to my shoulders, then broke through the crowd of people watching, walked to the side of the three rounds, moved another box of books out of the car with all my strength, and carried it on my shoulder.Just as I tilted my head sideways and walked towards the small shop with strenuous and tough steps, I heard the slight sound of the car starting behind me, which was transmitted along with the extension of the two beams of headlights.Almost at the same time, I felt my heart shatter, and a string of tears fell from my cheeks to my chest and the ground. In the first month, after detailed calculations, the bookstore basically did not lose money.This is much better than the expected small loss in the first month, no loss in the second month, and normal profit in the third month.This situation immediately boosted my confidence. Coupled with the ups and downs in the business field this month, I feel that I have indeed learned a lot of business knowledge.Standing under the blue sky for the first time after leaving the institute, he breathed a sigh of relief.I thought, God finally brought me back from desperation and gave me a way out.Just when I temporarily forgot about the harm Chang Tianli and Li Zifeng had done to me, I was full of ambition and put all my energy into a new job, preparing to work hard and save some money to improve the lives of my old father and son. My son, who had matured prematurely because of a broken family, was starting to cause another kind of uneasiness in my life. On the tenth day of the Lunar New Year, after eating dumplings and saying goodbye to my father and son, I plunged into the bookstore.Because of the New Year's Eve, I took the waiter's leave, and I was the only one left in the shop.My son sometimes comes to the shop for a change of air and to read new books while studying.That day, as usual, I watched a bestseller while watching a few customers in the store.The sun outside is shining brightly, shining in from the large glass windows, making the shop seem to be in a world of hazy light and shadow. I, together with the surrounding counters, are covered in warm and bright sunlight. I was reading a book about overcoming the blind spots in life, and suddenly felt the light and shadow in the store sway, and a black shadow was reflected on my face. I raised my head instinctively, and found that Yuan Yilin was walking in with a black leather bag in his arms. . He stood tall and tall in front of me, blocking almost all the light that shone on me.He said, I designed a promotional activity, let's demonstrate it and see if it works. A customer turned around to look at us curiously, so I had no choice but to signal Yuan Yilin to the desk behind the bookstore door with a grateful expression.As soon as Yuan Yilin sat down, he couldn't wait to say an idea he came up with when he couldn't sleep last night. I have a friend who hosts a new book column on TV.We do some work, plan an author-reader-bookseller program together, and invite several bookstore owners, cultural celebrities and readers with taste to do a column. I think it's a really good idea, but I don't know how this kind of thing works, and whether it will cost a lot of publicity.Just as I was consulting Yuan Yilin on these issues, my son suddenly appeared. Yuan Yilin and I raised our heads at the same time and saw him.My eyes hardly stayed on his face, and then moved my eyes to Yuan Yilin's face again, because I was expecting Yuan Yilin's next explanation.However, Yuan Yilin did not continue the topic just now, but his eyes stayed on his son's face in a daze.I couldn't help but take another look at my son, it didn't matter, I was taken aback by his expression: the son was staring at Yuan Yilin coldly. I hurriedly smoothed things over and said, Chenchen, why are you here? The son didn't turn his eyes to me, but still looked at Yuan Yilin, and said ironically, if Uncle Yuan can come, why can't I come? I could hear my son's anger, and couldn't help but feel embarrassed, and felt aggrieved by Yuan Yilin's kindness, so I said, Uncle Yuan helped me design a promotional activity. Yuan Yilin recovered from the embarrassment, he stretched out his hand and beckoned his son to come closer, and said, come and help us see how this plan works. As if moved by Yuan Yilin's words, the son walked over.He stood beside us, bent down, and looked at the plan in front of us for a while.Yuan Yilin asked again relaxedly, how is it? The son straightened his body a little, tilted his head and lowered his voice, and said to Yuan Yilin's face: not so good!I just hope you stay away from us in the future! Yuan Yilin and I were stunned for a moment. Before leaving, Yuan Yilin patted his son on the shoulder and said, you are still a child, you can't imagine your mother's hardships.When you grow up, you will understand. At noon that day, after all the customers in the store were gone, my son and I had the second violent quarrel after we divorced Yu Zhi.I really can't figure out why my son has such a deep prejudice against Yuan Yilin. Over the years, whether it was before or after my divorce, my son never seemed to like Yuan Yilin.It doesn't matter if my son doesn't like him or hate him, but when he has helped us so much, he still has such an attitude towards him, which I cannot allow.What's more, Yuan Yilin's help to me has always been open and aboveboard, without any other elements mixed in, which makes me even more grateful.So, when my son was arguing with me in an upright manner, I announced loudly: From now on, I will not allow you to be rude to Uncle Yuan, let alone interfere in your affairs. My son was not afraid of my anger, and he also yelled, I tell you too, from now on, as long as I see Yuan Yilin approaching us, I will not give him a good face. I was so angry that I almost cried. I didn't expect such a young child to be so self-righteous and difficult to discipline.I rushed to his side in a rage and raised my arms, but when my hand was about to touch his body, I suddenly remembered the slap my son had slapped me the night he first learned about my divorce from Yu Zhi.The pain of the child who lost his father’s love in front of me made my eye circles turn red for a while, I retracted my arms in distress, and just asked in pain: Chenchen, why?You tell mom, why do you hate him so much? My son's eye circles were also red. I don't know if it was because of my retracted slap, or because of my painful expression.He took a step away from me and stood far away from me, as if he was afraid that my emotions would infect him, but his voice dropped.He said, Mom, he's a family man! But, I don't want to marry him! Mom, why don't you understand?The son patted the counter next to him like he hated iron but said, Yuan Xinmei said, her mother has always been jealous of you. I was taken aback.Yuan Xinmei is Yuan Yilin's daughter, she is one year younger than Chenchen, but in the same grade.Last year, the two were admitted to the same junior high school. Although they were divided into two classes, they often met. Sometimes Yuan Xinmei would come to my house with her son to play.Looking at my son's ashamed look, it seems that I have lost face to him.I couldn't help but gasped, and said dubiously, how is that possible?Uncle Yuan has a very good relationship with Xinmei's mother. My son seemed incomprehensible for my stupidity, finally showed a desperate expression, walked over tragically and said, Yuan Xinmei once heard her parents quarreling with her own ears, and her father said that he just liked you.And her mother also found that Uncle Yuan still keeps the things you were in love with back then. I felt my head swell rapidly, and everything in front of me became unreal. I couldn't hear what my son was still saying. I only felt that the confusion in my heart was spreading and expanding. I couldn't figure out what the son in front of me was. Whether he is a child or a man, whether he has grown up or matured enough to meddle in the affairs of adults. Even so, I still can't give up my ongoing plan because of a child's immature views, especially his inborn prejudice against Yuan Yilin.I was so anxious to succeed and profit, I knew that without Yuan Yilin's help and planning, it would be very difficult for me to get ahead in this unfamiliar business, let alone make money.What's more, this promotion was originally planned and organized by Yuan Yilin, so for the sake of my future livelihood, I have no way to stop contacting Yuan Yilin.Although sometimes I feel sorry for my son, after all, his son will start school soon, which makes it almost impossible for him to meet us.Of course, in order not to cause unnecessary troubles, I tried to keep my contacts with Yuan Yilin as small as possible. We often discuss and decide many important things in the shortest time. We also try to avoid some public places intentionally, or choose some The place and time of being unnoticed. After full preparations and rehearsals, our program was finally launched, and it was quite successful, and the publicity effect it played was unexpectedly good.My bookstore really gained a small reputation in a small circle for a while, and the sales volume of books also increased rapidly.After that, I listened to Yuan Yilin's advice and organized several small discounts, promotions and gift-giving activities. The number of customers in the small store increased sharply again. By the end of the third month, the profit of the bookstore had reached 3,000. Yu Yuan.The smooth development of business, especially the expansion of reputation, made me, who was new to shopping malls, instantly satisfied.After closing the store every day, the thrill of counting the banknotes was so overwhelming that I almost forgot the taboos and my son’s warning.On the day at the end of the third month, after careful calculation, I found that the profit had reached three thousand yuan, and the joy in my heart was almost as uncontrollable as a fountain.I quickly picked up the phone and told Yuan Yilin the good news. The result of being dizzy with joy is what the old saying goes, "Extreme joy begets sorrow".That day, Yuan Yilin drove here within half an hour after receiving the call.Then, without any hesitation or apprehension, we went straight to a restaurant, ready to have a hearty meal to celebrate.This is how it happened in my paralysis.When our car just drove to the front of the hotel, there was a bustling group of students who seemed to have just finished some activities and were passing by.When there were fewer people, I got out of the car and waited for Yuan Yilin to park in the parking lot.Suddenly a girl stood in front of me.I never dreamed that I would meet Yuan Yilin's daughter, Yuan Xinmei, here. I was still immersed in the joy just now, and I had long forgotten my son's exhortations to me and the matter about Yuan Yilin's family discord.I have always liked girls, and I have also loved Liu Xinmei since I was a child.Looking at this beautiful girl, my first reaction was to invite her to dinner.I said, sister, your father is parking the car, let's have dinner with us! Liu Xinmei didn't speak, just stood in front of me, looking at me with a complicated expression.I said one more thing, Auntie is the host today... "Bah", Liu Xinmei's face twisted suddenly, she pinched her upper and lower lips together, and I saw a little red tongue protruding from the middle, just like a bright red cherry looming.Before I could react, a beam of warm stuff sprayed onto my face with a slight sting.I froze in place, watching Liu Xinmei's ponytail disappearing into the crowd like a squirrel's tail raised high up.At this time, I felt that there were dots of water vapor on my face evaporating in the wind, and some places began to itch. However, the matter was not over yet. When I withdrew my eyes and looked around shyly to see if anyone was paying attention to my situation, I suddenly saw my son not far away from me, with a gloomy face, watching him motionlessly. She looked at me, but her eyes were already filled with tears, and her face was full of shame, hatred, and a hint of ambiguous pity.I subconsciously touched my face with my hands, as if I wanted to wipe off the spittle and humiliation on my face, but the sense of shame that just surged up in my heart was almost wiped away by my son's complicated expression and tears.There was a conflict with the son, and all the warnings of the son suddenly came to mind clearly.I stood there bewildered, waiting in horror for my son's next reaction.Yuan Yilin was reversing the car without knowing it, and the rear reversing lights were flashing in my direction.When I turned my gaze to my son again, I found that his eyes had moved away from me, and he was staring gloomily at Yuan Yilin's car. A couple of lovers passed by, followed by two or three students, and when my eyes were clear again, I suddenly found that the place where my son was standing was replaced by a middle-aged woman who had just eaten from a restaurant When he came out, he was covering his mouth with a napkin in one hand and picking a toothpick in the other.Just as I was looking around in panic, I suddenly found my son rushing out from the shadow of a street corner, rushing towards Yuan Yilin's car like a 100-meter sprint athlete.He raised his hand and hurled a brick at Yuan Yilin's car. There were two shattering sounds of "Peng" and "哗啦", and the side mirror of Yuan Yilin's car was shattered. Around the headlights.The son turned and ran away from the car, past me.Then, with my dumbfounded expression, I threw out a sentence as weighty as the brick just now: I hate you! That day, for the first time, I had an indescribable fear of my son.At night, out of this kind of fear, I deliberately lingered until 10:30 at night before going home, as if I had done something wrong and was afraid of being punished.My son is already asleep, and the soft snoring fills the quiet air, making me recall all the past times.The immature eyes of the son in the rocking car, the bravery of the son when he was just learning to walk, the silence of the son in the kindergarten, the stubbornness of the son in elementary school, and the paranoia of the son who is sleeping now.I can't tell whether these things are due to Yu Zhi's genes, but in any case, these are indeed the most typical things in Yu Zhi.When I stood in front of his bed and looked at this growing son intently, I was surprised to find that his son had grown a black beard above his lips, and even had a few pimples on his forehead. Once I found out that it didn't matter, I realized that I had neglected my son too much.Looking closely, the son's original chubby face has become clearer, and his skin is no longer the original milky white color, but is beginning to appear rough and masculine like a growing man.This reminds me of Yu Zhi in college. At that time, he was almost the same as his son now, even his personality was exactly the same.I don't know whether I should be happy or sad about my discovery.I know that the son in front of me is no longer the little boy I always thought of, and I can't ignore his existence. When I left his room, I had to admit that my son had grown up in my neglect. Not only could I not ignore his feelings and opinions, but it was time to respect his existence.For the sake of my grown son and Yuan Yilin's growing daughter, I finally decided to minimize contact with Yuan Yilin, no matter how innocent we are.