Chapter 10 Chapter nine

I rejected Li Zifeng's proposal to send me to the hospital, and with his support, I got out of his home, took the car he taxied for me, and returned home. I couldn't care less about analyzing the consequences of doing so, and I couldn't care less about whether the smart Li Zifeng would believe my actions.All I know is that I can't accept him that night, and I can't accept a man who is completely different from Yu Zhi.Although that afternoon, I successfully entered into the world of sex with this man, although since that day, I feel that I have fallen in love with this knowledgeable man, but until today I know that there are too many things to know about true love. There are too many things that need to be familiar with each other for mutual acceptance.Recalling that afternoon now, the whole process is like a vague dream. I can hardly remember how I hugged him, how I accepted his first kiss, how I merged with his body. Together, I can't even remember if I've ever seen his body.Maybe it was because of illness at that time, or maybe it was because I was completely lost that I was so dizzy from the blow, I hardly cared who the man next to me was, as long as there was any man who could give me a hand at that time, I might vote for it. into his arms.Of course, there is another possibility, that is, it was still winter, and a thick quilt covered up the flaws of this man's body, or in other words, all the things in this body that were completely different from Yuzhi, from my sight. Accept him with your own feelings.However, this night, when all the backgrounds were gone, when the body was exposed without any concealment, I suddenly discovered the profound psychological impact of Yu Zhi.

Late that night, I lost sleep over all these thoughts.I spend almost the night thinking about our relationship, about our future.When the first ray of sunlight quietly penetrated through the heavy curtains, I finally made a rational decision: I must try again, because my book has not yet been published, and because I don't want Chang Tianli to be my boss . However, no matter how hard I tried, in the following days, facing Li Zifeng, I still felt a kind of embarrassment that was difficult to restrain and hide.I can't tell if it's because I have a guilty conscience, or if he has really changed.I felt something growing out of my incomprehensible expression behind his usual polite and amiable expression.What kind of fruit this kind of thing will grow and how much influence it will have on me, I have been predicting non-stop, but in the end I still can't guess anything.All I tried during that time was to do my best to call him unsolicited to hint how much I missed him and to maintain our relationship.I know that he is the only hope for me to change my job and improve my life.However, just as I continued to work hard to improve my mood and prepare to accept Li Zifeng again, thus waiting for his promise to me to become a reality, my book, my promotion, revenge on Chang Tianli after promotion, etc. However, the abacus has become shattered in unpredictable conspiracies, like moon shadows swayed by the spring breeze, disappearing with the wind.

It started when Li Zifeng called me less and less.I can't remember whether my phone contact with him started on the second day or the third day after our relationship changed qualitatively, but since then, our contact has reached almost five days, an average of three calls, and is attentive. He always chooses to call me at noon when his son is not at home.I can feel that he is sincere, but I find it difficult to grasp the extent of sincerity.After that night, Li Zifeng gradually became rare after two consecutive days of greetings on the phone, and he couldn't even get a call from him for more than ten days. I was sensitively aware that the gap between us began to widen, and at the same time I also smelled another sense of imminent danger.

At noon about two weeks later, I suddenly received a call from Li Zifeng. He said that he had already contacted him about the publication of the manuscript, and asked me to wait for him near a commercial building on the outskirts of the city with the revised manuscript. It is three o'clock in the afternoon.This phone call suddenly aroused my trust and gratitude to Li Zifeng, and I even blamed myself for my misunderstanding of him for a while. It is a gloomy summer afternoon.I deliberately modified it, hoping that my appearance would make Li Zifeng like it.But in the afternoon, there was a strong wind of force five or six, which not only ruined my good mood, but also ruined the makeup I put on after a lot of effort.I was wearing a fashionable white-based skirt. The excellent workmanship and elegant style made me look young and elegant. This discovery made me, who had been immersed in a gloomy mood for several months, couldn't help but increase A lot of confidence.

I didn't ride a bicycle, because the wind would make me look gray, and I didn't take a taxi, because my salary was enough to keep me warm and decent.I was on a bus, and although I needed to back up, I had no choice.Crowded in the noisy crowd, looking at the dust and rubbish flying all over the street outside the car, I suddenly remembered the article I had read - "Rejecting Poverty Love".Throughout the article, the author expresses a point of view that he would rather not have love than poor love.Yes, how can poverty talk about love?When rich people cultivate love in the atmosphere created by warm teahouses, bars, and movie theaters, while poor people clutch their poor money bags, talking about love while calculating their food and clothing for the rest of the day, that kind of scene is not only ridiculous, but also Sad and pitiful! …In the final analysis, love is actually a luxury, a kind of spiritual food that rich people can easily enjoy.Just like today, when I do everything I can to groom myself to the best condition, but because I have no money to enjoy high-end transportation, I become dusty, how much will love be discounted?

An hour later, I was already standing in the designated place in the strong wind, like a light-colored weathervane, waiting and watching in the wild dance of flying sand.There are few pedestrians on the street, and the occasional passers-by are in a hurry, let alone a well-dressed woman like me standing stupidly in the wind.There were astonishingly large raindrops mixed with waste plastic paper and dirty paper flying all over the sky, falling heavily from the air, some fell on the head in a straight line, and some rushed from obliquely like a ramming bird. to the limbs.I covered my hair with one hand and covered my eyes with the other hand, and I was still looking around, but there was no sign of Li Zifeng's arrival in the sky filled with flying sand.I didn't dare to hide, I was afraid that I might miss the director at that moment, and I couldn't bear to go back, so I had to stand in the wind and rain and tell myself over and over that maybe he was coming on the road.

From the initial rhythmless crackling sound, the raindrops gradually increased and accelerated, and the sound gradually became a rushing sound.I finally gritted my teeth and ended this foolish waiting, and fled under the eaves of the nearest building.Through the clean glass behind me, I saw that the clock on the hall wall was pointing to 4:50. At that moment, I wiped the rainwater dripping from my hair onto my face, and looked down at myself already wet and stuck to my body clothes, feeling pitiful and ashamed. Fortunately, the showers came and went quickly. About half an hour later, the rainstorm stopped and the weather suddenly turned sunny. By this time, it was almost half past five.I re-entered the fresh street from under the eaves, looked at the passing vehicles and pedestrians again with full expectation, and had to admit that Li Zifeng would not come.Holding the small bag washed by the rain in my hand, I walked listlessly towards the way I came from.I don't want to take the car for the time being, because at the last moment, I still have a glimmer of hope that he will see me walking along the way on the way to the appointment.

I walked almost one stop, and my clothes were almost half dry, but there was still no sign of Li Zifeng.In front of it is a large building that has just been completed, and on the huge billboard is a beautiful picture of the grassland.I figured the building must be a dairy company.Next to it is a luxurious hotel.Just when I was extremely disappointed and was about to find a station to take a bus, I suddenly saw a familiar figure coming out of this hotel, then walked to a car, got in and drove away. This is a car number that looks familiar.That's right!It's our unit's car, and that person is Sun Xu, the deputy director of our bureau in charge of personnel!

I suddenly had the answer in my mind: Li Zifeng must have a meeting here to set the date so far away!Then I found a reason for Li Zifeng not to attend the appointment: it must be because the meeting was not finished temporarily, so he didn't spare time to attend the appointment. I was rejoiced by my discovery, and my physical fatigue and mental lethargy disappeared immediately. I took brisk steps and walked quickly to the hotel, hoping to confirm this judgment and find Li Zifeng.But when I stepped into the lobby, walked to the elevator, and waited for the elevator, the elevator door opened and a beautiful woman came out from the crowd.

Chang Tianli! Although I always had an extreme dislike for this woman, at that moment, I couldn't wait to rush over, intending to ask about the situation of the meeting, and Li Zifeng by the way.But when Chang Tianli saw me, I noticed that her fair cheeks turned red all of a sudden, especially when I asked her if she was in a meeting, she faltered and looked embarrassed. She told me there was a meeting, then said no, then said the meeting was over.From the expression on her face and stammering tone, I seemed to understand my situation: this was the time when I should not have appeared, and I saw things that I should not have seen.However, the matter was not over yet, just when we were awkwardly facing each other, a service lady in a sky blue uniform almost trotted towards us from behind.Then, she held up something like an ID card and said to Chang Tianli, Ma'am, your friend dropped the ID card in the room.

Chang Tianli and I subconsciously looked at the certificate almost at the same time, and saw at a glance that the photo was our deputy director.Next, Chang Tianli's face turned red, as if someone had slapped her twice.And like a villain who peeked at other people's privacy, I felt uncomfortable, as if I had done something even more shameful.At that time, I hated myself because I always faced sudden changes at critical moments and had no resilience.I wanted to confess to Chang Tianli that I didn't come here on purpose, and I didn't have any malice, but I heard my clumsy explanation getting darker and darker, and I said, I saw you, and no one else looked at it... Almost as soon as my words came out of my mouth, I cursed myself viciously in my heart: idiot! On this unlucky afternoon, instead of waiting for Li Zifeng, I encountered an extremely embarrassing thing.Although that doesn't prove anything, and I can't be sure that Chang Tianli has something to do with Deputy Director Sun Xu based on these alone, but I still can't control my wild thoughts and suspicions.The embarrassment seemed to hang over me more and more like a dark cloud, while I was ashamed and self-conscious about my frivolous thoughts.However, whenever I looked into the matter carefully, the dark cloud disappeared like a shadow reflected in the water.I know Chang Tianli, if there is really something between her and Sun Xu, then she will never let my unexpected discovery end easily.That being the case, what measures she will take to rectify me will be unpredictable to me.Every time I think of this, I feel worried and uneasy. I am afraid of her, especially the poisonous arrows she shoots from the dark, which can neither be predicted nor prevented.Although I knew I wouldn't reveal it to her, I didn't know how to reassure her, or tell her that I didn't think much about it.In that case, I would really be a stupid pig. The relationship between me and Li Zifeng is still not salty, and after Li Zifeng explained the reason to me, he resumed our inseparable relationship.While I was trying to consciously eliminate the influence of Yuzhi physically and mentally, I was waiting for the opportunity to meet Li Zifeng again, and waiting for Li Zifeng to help me contact the publication again.Just when I was circling these two major issues related to my life and work, I felt the changes around me again.The first is Zhou Zhuwen's attitude towards me.It turned out that Zhou Zhuwen was the one with the best relationship with me in the office.The so-called best does not refer to our personal relationship, but our very similar tempers and dispositions.Not only is he not good at getting along with leaders like me, but he is also as lofty and arrogant as me, which makes us surprisingly similar in our views on some things and in our dealings with others.However, from that day on, Zhou Zhuwen suddenly no longer wants to talk to me, even if he occasionally picks up my words, it often has obvious irony and contempt.Then I felt the change of Yang An's attitude towards me, even the data clerk Qu Hong, the typist Chen Nan, etc.I couldn't figure out whether it was my relationship with Li Zifeng that people found out, or something else made people misunderstand. Faced with this situation, I felt huge pressure for a while, and of course I couldn't decide what to do. Since I can't ask others what happened, and of course I can't explain it, so I can only comfort myself with the famous saying that everyone knows, go your own way and let others talk!As long as you have a good conscience.Li Zifeng and I are both single, we are eligible to fall in love or even get married.I told myself utilitarianly that the only person I care about now is Li Zifeng, and I care about his feelings and attitude towards me. Li Zifeng went on a business trip to a small mountain town two hundred miles away for a meeting.At noon on Friday, he called me out of the blue and asked if I could arrange for my son to meet with him at night and spend the weekend together.I had no choice but to agree.Because this is a good opportunity for me to verify whether I can accept him after a long period of psychological adjustment, and it is also the only opportunity for me to urge him to help me contact the publisher.After putting down the phone, I went to my son's school by car and explained and made arrangements for him. With my son's promise, I took a long-distance bus to the small town. In the autumn afternoon, the sky is high and the clouds are light. From time to time, geese lined up neatly like a group of black cavalry pass over the sky and disappear into the clouds heading south.The earth is full of mature colors, which makes me sleepy like sliding in a familiar dream. I think of my old father in my hometown, and the endless golden years that I walked on my father's back... I Suddenly, I felt pain and irritability in my chest, because I also remembered the first time when I sat beside Yu Zhi cautiously, shyly, and tremblingly to go to his hometown, and that was also such a season.Then, I found that my eyes were moist again involuntarily.I have to admit that after so many days of hard work, I still haven't succeeded in completely forgetting about it. After more than two hours, I finally stood at the small town station under Yanfeng Mountain.There is a fresh and clean scenery in front of me, and the autumn scenery all over the mountains is shrouded in milky white clouds, which makes the depression and unhappiness of many days melt into this picturesque scenery at once.When I looked around to identify the direction, I saw Li Zifeng standing under a big fluffy tree full of dark green.He is smiling and looking at me. I can't tell whether it's the mountain scenery that makes the mood romantic, or leaving the city to make people's shackles disappear. We raised our arms high and greeted each other loudly at almost the same time, and then we were like two happy children. He ran towards the opponent without concealment. In the afternoon, we walked through the mountain trails shaded by green trees, climbed two small hills, talked and laughed without any scruples in the sound of running water in the mountain stream, and enjoyed the rare leisure and relaxation.Since I divorced Yu Zhi, I feel that apart from pain, my whole life is endless running around, and I seem to have forgotten the joy and happiness that life itself should enjoy.When the twilight slowly faded from the sky with the drifting white mist and covered the trees on the mountain, I made up my mind that I would accept this smart and knowledgeable man and start a new life. In the evening, we did not have dinner with the meeting, nor did we return to the room arranged by the meeting.He took me to another small hotel.When we arrived, it was after dinner time, so there were few diners in the fancy decorated restaurant.Li Zifeng ordered three bottles of beer, and by 8:30, we had already drunk two bottles.Although I have a limited amount of alcohol, but for Li Zifeng's good mood, for the romantic reunion, of course, there is another ulterior purpose deep in my heart, that is, I hope that the more I drink, the more confused my mind will be. Makes it easier for me to accept him so I don't get into trouble again. Perhaps out of fear of recreating the situation of that night, in order to be safe, at the checkout, I deliberately ordered another bottle of beer and a can of drinks under the pretext that I might need it tomorrow morning, and then mentioned that he had ordered in advance. Room.It was a very spacious double room. Although the hardware was basically all available, the cleanliness was still a bit worse than hotels in the city.But this situation didn't affect me much.Because all my emotions turned from the joy just now to fear, I was worried that my performance would not satisfy Li Zifeng, and I was worried that my psychological barrier would make me fall into that embarrassment again. Li Zifeng may have seen my uneasiness, or it may be to relieve the tension between us after suddenly entering this small space.He suddenly took the beer in my hand, poured two glasses of wine and said, shall we have another drink? Things continued to develop according to my wish for a while, and under the influence of alcohol, I felt that I was getting rid of the panic state just now, and unconsciously, I snuggled into Li Zifeng's arms.If we have been avoiding sensitive issues like this afternoon and evening, and continued our game in a daze, maybe I will slowly overcome physical and mental obstacles in this interaction, and fall in love with the man in front of me completely.However, neither of us may be the kind of person who is easily confused, let alone the kind who is easy to accommodate mistakes. This is because we both have smart brains and a sense of responsibility that cannot be ignored.So all the premonitions of the past came between us. I leaned in his arms, squinted my eyes and indulged in his warm sweet words, in a trance, as if I had returned to the season of youth, vaguely dreaming of a love dream.A string of affectionate words floated above my face, like fragrant flowers blooming.In such a dream, he asked me a sentence that all lovers and lovers often say, he said, do you love me? I didn't hesitate, as usual, I continued to squint my eyes and answered without thinking, of course! He didn't show a satisfied expression as usual, but continued the topic just now, looked at me with wide eyes, and answered! I was startled from the intoxication, and suddenly opened my eyes wide like a dream.Almost at the same time, I don't know whether it was from his voice just now or from his current expression, he felt something strange and something difficult to guess.I didn't have time to think, so I had to try my best to pretend to be infatuated, and replied, I love you! However, at the same time as I said this sentence, the original insurmountable obstacle suddenly hit my chest like a boulder thrown in. I felt flustered and short of breath for a while, so I had to force myself to laugh and cover up. Embarrassment on the face. I have to admit that if it is something destined by fate, no matter how hard you try, it may be difficult to change it.Although I tried to improve the situation at the time and succeeded in pleasing him for a while, it didn't stop things from getting worse.Then he stood up abruptly, repeating the stupid act of trying to carry me into the bedroom that night.The uncomfortable feeling of that night suddenly reappeared clearly. I thought of his thin body, his narrow shoulders, and his thin ribs...I felt as if I had suddenly fallen into a glacier from a heat wave, The love that had been cultivated for several hours was suddenly lost with this feeling, and it was impossible to get it back in the following time. I was stumbled on the bed by him, but I was immersed in the emotional complex and couldn't extricate myself.I heard a gasp above my face and he said, open your eyes, look at me, answer me, do you really love me? I opened my eyes and looked at the thin face covered with many small wrinkles that was leaning over my body, feeling so strange.I almost forgot that this dry and thin man was the leader I admired and feared back then. I couldn’t even remember the purpose of meeting this man this time. I only felt a strong sense of rejection in my body like a violent whirlwind I can't help myself.When he suddenly straightened me up and faced his protruding collarbone protruding from the shirt, the two deep pits on the side, and the drooping skin again, I didn't answer his question for the first time, but dared to I made a sentence that I have regretted for a long time. I said, will you marry me? The situation suddenly changed, and the passive situation I had just now suddenly became active.Li Zifeng swallowed two mouthfuls of saliva one after another, but did not answer my question.There was a sudden silence in the room. Amid the drifting smell of alcohol, this silence seemed more like a silent time bomb, which seemed to be pregnant with a terrible consequence.It was raining outside at some point, and the patter of rain outside the window was penetrating the silence of the window, like the ticking of a bomb's timing needle.We have been maintaining the posture just now, and no one dares to move. It seems that a slight movement will detonate the bomb. In the end it was Li Zifeng who broke free from the silence, walked by the bed, picked up the glass of beer that was on the small table in the middle of the sofa and drank it all at once, then poured himself another glass, and drank it again.I still sat motionless on the bed, not knowing what words to use next to relieve this embarrassment, and not knowing what I should do next. Seeing that there were fewer and fewer newly opened bottles of beer on the table, my mood became worse and worse, and I became more and more panicked.When Li Zifeng reached out to pick up the bottle with almost a glass of wine left, and raised his head to drink from the bottle, I finally broke through my psychological barrier and jumped out of bed to snatch the bottle from Li Zifeng's hand. I thought that Li Zifeng would lose his temper at me, but to my surprise, he suddenly staggered out of the room.Before I was sure whether to go out to look for it or wait for him, he suddenly came in again.This time, he actually held four bottles of beer. He put down the beer, stood in the open space in the middle of the room, stared into a pair of eyes that looked hollow because of drinking too much alcohol and said, you come to the bar too, otherwise what shall we do? Yeah, what shall we do?We can't sleep, I have nowhere to go, what do I do after each other understands the awkward relationship?So, like a recovering animal, I walked past him cautiously, and sat down opposite him with my head bowed. One bottle of wine was quickly drank in silence, and when he opened the second bottle, I felt a severe headache, and my stomach began to feel uncomfortable.I had to block the bottle he held out and refused to drink any more.He raised his head uncharacteristically, swept away his gentle demeanor, and yelled at me, what's wrong?Have you used enough? Facing his sudden attack, I was taken aback.But I'm not timid, maybe that's what the alcohol does.I boldly met his gaze and said loudly: Who is taking advantage of whom? You use me! He quickly took my question, and then said without thinking, you use me to evaluate titles, use me to publish books, and plan to use me to promote you, right? For some reason, when he exposed my purpose, my eyes were filled with tears of grievance.But it seems difficult for me to find where the grievance is.Even so, I was still angry at his accusation, and I had no intention of compromising.I answered his question loudly. I said, yes, I used you.But you are meaner, you use your authority to play with women, you use my demand for your work to demand too much of me... Maybe it was because the word despicable was used too much, or maybe my words were too harsh, and he suddenly threw half a glass of wine in his hand at me angrily. You're a villain, a total bitch.Chang Tianli is right, you were not a good woman, otherwise, why would Yu Zhi abandon you, or how could you sleep with your boss for a small job title... I kept dripping alcohol on my face, some of it flowed into my half-open mouth, and some dripped onto the clothes on my chest. My eyes became sore and blurred due to the stimulation of alcohol.I was shaking with anger at his use of the word "bitch" and was speechless. He was still venting his anger crazily, his thin face was distorted and distorted by anger, and turned purple from the stimulation of alcohol, like a skinny eggplant after autumn.He still yelled and said, no wonder you are starting to dislike me now, because you are sleeping with a bigger official now, isn't it?He can help you realize your wishes faster, get promoted, and get promoted!Yes or no? With tears in my eyes, I was shocked again.When I understood his meaning, I immediately felt greatly insulted.I rushed up to him, grabbed his thin neck by the collar, and said through gritted teeth, what bigger official did I sleep with?You make it clear to me today! You know better than anyone!He has completely forgotten that he is a cultured person, a leader, and like countless uneducated men and women, he shows his vulgar side. I was so angry that I pressed my face almost to his nose, and I said, find a witness for me, otherwise I will sue you! He was not intimidated, but said in a contemptuous and mocking tone, do I have to tell you who saw you walking out of the hotel with the leader one after the other? I understood it all at once.I remembered the afternoon when Chang Tianli and Deputy Director Sun Xu walked out of a hotel in the suburbs, I even remembered Chang Tianli's embarrassing expression, and I also remembered the changes in the attitudes of Zhou Zhuwen and Yang An in the office... Clear.It turns out that in the world, there are really wicked people who file complaints first. I never thought that Chang Tianli would be so vicious and despicable.This kind of thing can be done, so the anonymous letter and the photo are definitely done by her.In this moment, I stand firm in my reasoning and judgment. Looking at Li Zifeng's shirt that was bulging because I grabbed his collar, I wanted to expose Chang Tianli's vicious deeds to him, but I saw a mocking and proud face.I was suddenly enraged again, faced this face, and announced loudly, who I would like to sleep with is my own business, fortunately, you have no right to control me! After saying this, I suddenly picked up the small bag next to the bed and rushed out of the room with courage.I rushed through the dimly lit corridor, stumbling down the stairs, and finally rushed out of the hotel under the curious eyes of a few chattering staff members in the lobby.It was already late at night. In this kind of mountainous town, the poor nightlife made the surroundings seem quiet and deep. Walking in the pattering rain, my consciousness was suddenly awakened.What did I do just now?I almost admitted Li Zifeng's rumored frame-up, what should I do? After walking about 200 meters, I gradually convinced myself, I told myself that I must make it clear that I cannot allow myself to be framed so vaguely.So I turned quickly back, trotted into the hall, and rushed upstairs. I was finally standing in this room again.When I stood in front of Li Zifeng who was crazily beating things, everything in front of me turned into a mess like a robbery: the empty bottles I drank just now rolled all over the room, and the half-drunk beer A corner of the sofa was dripping with wine, the floor was wet, the quilt cover on the bed was thrown all over the room, a pillow was squeezed crookedly at the door of the bathroom, and a pillow towel was draped over the TV cabinet... … Standing in such a picture, I felt a little overwhelmed, and even forgot the purpose of returning to the house. I just looked at the bottle of beer dripping in bewilderment, and judged Li Zifeng's next move.Li Zifeng finally stopped what he was doing, and stared at me for nearly a minute.He didn't move or speak, he just stared at me with blood red eyes.Faced with such silence, I felt a dangerous atmosphere, wondering whether the red-eyed Li Zifeng would kill me.However, Li Zifeng's vicious words soon made me dispel this idea.He said: Do you regret it?Come back to sleep with me?For your publication? My anger seemed to make him more complacent, he pushed forward, and still said with emphasis, you don't look at your appearance, you are a half-old lady, and you still want to seduce people with lust... I couldn't care less about being angry anymore, I just felt my cheeks burning like a fire, and tears flooded my eyes instantly. I was filled with shame and anger, desperately holding back the tears, and gritted my teeth to search for more lethal words in my mind. I held back my anger and said slowly in a hoarse voice, you are wrong, I didn't come back to sleep with you, I came to tell you that I feel sick when I sleep with you.I cursed him with gusto, humiliating him like he humiliated me.Under my merciless and brutal blows, his last bit of self-esteem was finally smashed to pieces, and his thin body began to shrink.I looked at my masterpiece proudly, and felt my chest relax.Then I pursued the victory like him, and continued to pierce the most fragile male self-esteem in his heart.I said, you don't look at your virtue, are you worthy of me seducing you! His face seemed to be smeared red with blood, and even the bright top of his head was terrified in the bloody light.I felt the danger approaching again, and I suddenly felt that he might kill me, and without anyone noticing, he threw my corpse into the mountains and fed it to the wolves.But at that time, I was not afraid, but stubbornly stiffened my neck as if facing a butcher's knife, waiting for this man's power. Alcohol stimulated his nerves again, especially my harsh language made him completely lose his mind, he almost forgot that he was an intellectual, a leader with a small status, but a marketer with low quality like me Xiaomin started a vulgar and crazy quarrel, and even uttered words that were extremely disproportionate to his identity and knowledge.He rushed to me, gritted his teeth and said, my virtue is not strong, but you took the initiative to sleep with me!You are so shameless!Don't you want to be promoted?Want to publish?Let me tell you, even if you sleep with a bigger leader, it's useless! I was extremely angry and shouted loudly, you are shameless! He was obviously very drunk, but he didn't react violently to the shamelessness I scolded, but continued to say along with his own thoughts: I am shameless, and I will be shameless to the end!Let me tell you, as long as I'm here for a day, you don't want to show your head! His face was right in front of my nose, and I reached out and slapped him across the face with all my strength.Then, I ran out of the hotel for the second time. It was already midnight.I stood under the quiet night sky, facing the damp and fresh mountain wind, suppressing my voice, and cried for nearly half an hour.When the fog in the mountains drifted around the row of dark and dense forests with the night wind, I finally resigned to my fate, feeling cold all over.I finally told myself that it was all clear and all over.Yes, it's all over, just like I had a premonition that there would be no result between us.But to my surprise, this fruitless outcome came so quickly.In fact, many times in life, such games are needed instead of being taken too seriously. Just like he needs me more for sex, and I need him more for improving the current situation. Neither of us blames the other. qualifications.As for me not falling in love with him, and him not planning to marry me, it should be a game on the same level.In this sense, our baseness should also be equal.However, we were still too serious, or we were too harsh on each other. After piercing this poor veil irrationally, we exposed our pain nakedly, and we both suffered.If this is the seriousness of scholars, it is better to say that it is the stupidity of scholars.When I turned around to watch the farce I participated in, and learned from the pain, I not only felt ashamed, but also regretful. I not only regretted the first step I took with Li Zifeng, but also regretted the ending tonight. Contrite.Because I know very well that all my efforts these days have all been wasted because of a little disappointment this night. Unexpected difficulties may be encountered. However, facing such an ending, I was exhausted. I could only sigh helplessly at the hotel standing quietly under the starry night, and then walked to another small hotel fifty meters away.