Chapter 2 Women and Crisis

In the past few years, I have often thought about some issues about women, and I have also often written some novels about women, and I plan to write them as a series for a long time.In fact, the topic of women has been discussed for a long time and a lot from ancient times to the present, and it will be discussed in depth, as well as in the future and forever.But the problem of women, however thought, written, or talked about, is their situation.Destiny rarely changes in nature. I say, in essence, not in appearance. It seems that Chinese women have been greatly liberated, especially urban women, most of them have gone out of their homes to get equal pay for equal work with men, and can rely on their own labor to survive economically.However, participating in work and earning income does not completely mean "independence" and "liberation", but also conceptual and psychological aspects.Physiological and habitual problems still trap women invisible, making it difficult for them to adjust their positions in life.Today's women, although they are no longer slaves, are still willing, accustomed to or have to be men's dependents.Even if the "equality" required is only to work and have a job, they will work harder and work harder, but their situation as women has not been improved.But anyway, they are born women.In the past, I sought a way out for the heroines in my novels. To put it more directly, I looked for a way out for myself, and it simply boiled down to "self-reliance and self-reliance".If a woman is strong in her career and successful at work, she will be lucky enough to have status, a life, and everything, and the world will look at her with admiration.But many facts tell us that this is just wishful thinking as a woman.Life is not an arithmetic problem that can be solved by adding and subtracting.Of course, women can do it.Be strong and make a difference, and you can walk with your back straight.However, behind these "strong women", what kind of remarks are being poked around?There doesn't seem to be much praise.Respect and warmth. "Strong woman" has instead become a kind of irony, a derogation, an unflattering and self-evident equation: strong woman: not a woman.This inexplicable "equation" is openly acquiesced by everyone, although no one has openly discussed it.Make this just for yourself.The "strong women" who strive for something for women have to be shrouded in an inexplicable inferiority complex psychologically; this makes a name that originally meant to be praised be tampered with meaning inexplicably; this makes all women, Fear of accepting the honor and "laurel crown" of "strong woman" will damage the image instead.

It's inexplicable! However, if you think about it calmly, it is not surprising.When women become tough, some men naturally feel uncomfortable, and this man's world will inevitably cause some disturbances because of a slight loss of balance.Isn't that right, many newspapers and magazines nowadays are also preaching the stories of "how female graduate students can't find a partner" and "how older young women take the initiative to seek marriage".There is no denying that some are well-intentioned, and they are concerned and worried about social issues.However, such repeated propaganda has objectively deepened the slander and distortion of "capable women" and "strong women".Today, the social environment.The social climate has indeed changed, and men have more comprehensive aesthetic requirements for women.More upscale, must be beautiful, gentle.can play.smelly.They don't need them to be competent.struggle.So, not beautiful, not gentle.A woman who can't play is the worst.As a result, some men, seeing that women are stronger, have such an idea: a woman who has become a wife, it is best to go back to a comfortable nest, take care of the children and housework quietly, and let the husband return home. When you see a room with bright and clean windows, you can immediately set up a table of delicious meals.In their eyes, a woman who is such a good wife looks like a woman.Best of all, she could still dance with him, listen to music with him, and chat with him broadly.If the wife can do it with gusto, it will be more ideal and perfect.Men are always more greedy.This "idea" can be described as wonderful.The question is, how can there be "perfect" in the world?The problem is that a man has a big appetite for women, he makes his wife give him wholeheartedly, and once the wife takes care of her for too long.too repetitive.Too selfless, tired of taking care of him, and he has theories again, such as "not like-minded", "no common language", and "not interested!" All kinds of things.Therefore, women, no matter how womanly they are, seem to have no future, and it is impossible for them to be recognized by the world. They are still troubled.

It is not good to be a strong woman, nor is it good to be a pure woman. It is not good to be left, and it is not good to be right. It seems that no matter how women live, they can make the world find faults.Moreover, they always stand in the position of being "judged" to be judged by others.Because I want to write women's stories, I have contacted women at all levels with my heart. Listening to their talks, I heard the common confusion in their hearts: How should women live?They felt a crisis of dilemma.They want a career, they want to make themselves strong, and they want to be recognized by the world without losing their femininity.commend.In this inner struggle, they seem to value the latter more, value themselves, and value the most practical life in front of them: family and husband.love.After all, it is a woman.In order to keep this, they had to make some submissions.Some of this obedience can bring happiness, while others are counterproductive, brewing into a deeper tragedy.

I often feel that in the face of ever-changing social forms, many women are facing a crisis of not knowing how to adapt and not knowing how to get rid of themselves.including myself. In order to make myself free the heroine in the novel from the sense of crisis, I have tried to devise various options.The result of the choice is not optimistic, none of them can go beyond their original starting point, like walking in a circle.Because this world is really a man's world.For thousands of years, women have been used to living in the eyes of men. For a long time, their eyes seem to be the standard measure.And men feel at ease to talk about women relative to them.Think about it again, all the preaching about explaining and theorizing about women, which one starts from women themselves equally? !Simon de Beauvoir said in her book "The Second Sex—Woman" that in the sixteenth century, a little-known feminist Paulingiur pointed out very clearly: "All men write Every book about women should be regarded with suspicion, because a man is both judge and litigant as in a lawsuit."

Paulingjuer's words are really good. She makes us suddenly realize that the reason why women face crisis is that they are always so willing to be "accused"; Expose; Always reflect on yourself so consciously, as if all the shortcomings in this world are caused by the shortcomings of women; Always try so hard to do everything, to please men with a perfect woman.And this kind of comprehensive efforts, in fact, it is difficult to make them really comprehensive.The complexity of the world and the lack of life cannot be made up for by a woman's simple efforts.On the contrary, the men who dominate the world "seldom reflect on themselves and criticize themselves".George Bernard Shaw humorously described, "American whites degrade blacks to the position of shoe shiners. As a result, the argument of these whites is: Blacks can't do anything well except shine shoes!" Similarly, this world oppresses women to a position of dependence. , so that they are physically and psychologically accustomed to the situation of the dependent, so no matter how critical they are, women are at a loss because they cannot get rid of the dependence in the end.

From this point of view, only when women resolutely break free from dependence and bravely step out from the eyes of men can they establish themselves as women and establish their own standards for identifying themselves. In fact, women have many inherent advantages. They are full of spirituality, tenacity, feminine warmth and maternal love.And Chinese women are especially hard-working, especially gentle and gentle.Like men, they squeeze cars every day to go to work and get equal pay for equal work, and are used to shouldering the obligations of being a woman: having children and taking care of housework.Most of them are overloaded.Live with all your strength, have achievements, have achievements, and have achievements to contribute to this world.They are really capable.good enough.That's enough, there's absolutely no need to be subject to those demands.What's more, the world only expects women to be more outstanding, more perfect, and more competent. So, what conditions does this world provide women to make them outstanding.Perfect and competent? !In any case, the status of women is lower than that of men, and their situation gives them fewer opportunities and possibilities to develop and realize themselves. Even if they are developing and realizing themselves, they have to pay double effort, overcome double difficulties, and endure double twists and turns.Just for the word "double", being a woman is enough to be proud.

confidence.Pride, as well as full affirmation of oneself, is really something that a woman must possess.As human beings, men and women have the same meaning.The world should belong to everyone, and no one can live without it.I think we women should know ourselves in this way, pay attention to ourselves, elevate ourselves, develop ourselves from narrowness, expand from humbleness, and exalt from derogation, and really win for ourselves psychologically. "Self, freedom.And this kind of struggle is more difficult and more important than fighting for a job, a status, or a diploma.Because there seems to be no specific obstruction to the former struggle, but it is obstructed all the time and everywhere, and more often it is ourselves who are obstructing ourselves.After all, we have been regulated by traditions and habits for too long, and we have been penetrated too deeply.However, the former must be achieved, so that a woman can have the strength to protect and protect herself, so that she will not be at a loss by this or that fate, and only then can she get out of trouble and crisis.

For this reason, I advocate that women and women should encourage each other, praise each other, and publicize each other, so that women can really feel proud.Facing the world, we should be filled with the same sense of heroism and achievement.Women really have immeasurable merits. Just being mothers, they reproduce human beings, which is enough for them to be proud of, not to mention other great things. Talking about women to the extreme, I really think that there is "feminism", so there is "women's view", so there are various theories about women, all because women have never shared this world equally with men.Therefore, women came up with all kinds of theories to appeal to themselves; thus, men concocted more theories to demand women more strictly; thus, the more intense the theories and the louder their voices, it seemed that women were more liberated.In fact, only on that day—the "view of women" is canceled—there is no special theory to teach women, and women, like men, do not rely on theory, but are naturally established in the world as human beings—, only on this day , is a woman's real day of success.

Perhaps, these words are far from the topic.However, when people are confused, only by thinking far and wide can they take this step well.What's more, women tend to be short-sighted, so it's better to say that it's farther away.