Chapter 32 end(5)

One weekend night, I went to Xujiahui alone. After Joe left Shanghai, I started to try to do some activities on my own.Go to a bar for a quiet drink, or just walk down the street people-watching. But I know it's not a memory. Joe and I used to borrow each other's hesitation for warmth in some blank passage in our lives. When we were huddled together in a dark, stuffy basement. When I watched her there with a cigarette in her mouth like no one else, she was shooting fiercely and calmly. The faint blue screen light illuminated the half-smile on her face.The kind of tenderness intertwined with fragility and indifference, the ambiguity that I felt caught off guard.

But still can't be comforted. I watched a movie that day.A Hong Kong film about the revenge of ghosts. In the dark, I saw the memory of the man in the film.The lovelorn woman he met in a bar.Depressed woman.The red dress and eyes are as gorgeous as flowers, but they can't reveal her aching heart.On the roof of the building, the wind was blowing, and the man wanted to end the one-night stand quickly.The woman insisted on asking the man if he loved her. The man replied, I will love you until dawn.The woman said again, can you jump off the building with me?The man smiled and answered, yes.

So they have a game.The woman played boxing games with him.If she wins, he jumps first and she jumps after him.If she loses, she dances first and he dances after her. The result is that she lost. She barely said a word, turned around and flew downstairs. But he didn't dance with her. A calm face before the fall, hidden deep in determination. At that moment, I thought of Joe and my loneliness, and finally burst into tears.