Chapter 4 Three Airy Love Letters

Dear ××: Don't be arrogant! When you receive this letter, you must think carefully: "Since the age of sixteen, I have received an average of one letter every week. The joint logistics of the army, navy and air force, the teacher, the head of the student section, and the little Taibao next door are all kinds of people. Men have written letters to me, there are classical Chinese, vernacular, regular script, blood books, I am really tired of reading, who wrote this letter today?" I'll say it again, don't be arrogant! quasi-written?Guess, guess, guess, you will never guess, I am a stranger, born in a confusing and confusing place, I have read a few books that are speculative, and I have written a few articles that make sense.You have seen me, but I assert that my face will leave you with no impression. I am an ugly monster with free development of five senses and seven senses. I have no attempt to cooperate. They say I am like the "Hunchback of Notre Dame", but Hunchback of Notre Dame I can't compare, because although he is ugly, he is honest and infatuated. He will not lose his temper with women. He will always be loyal to her, hold a big head for her, and throw stones at other men for her.

But what about me?I don't know what kind of person I am, I only hear those overseas Chinese students call me "salty and wet old" in Cantonese, which means "big love stick" in Mandarin. In fact, this is really unfair to me. Yes, I write love letters randomly. As they say, I am a person who "love letters are flying all over the sky, and everyone wants to chase them". In all fairness, why am I doing this?And it's not because I've never chased a woman at all, and at least five out of ten letters I write are cremated, four are returned, and one is posted on a bulletin board, and that's what I've been doing, It’s good if you don’t lose heart or feel inferior, but can you blame me for writing too many letters?

Speaking of which, why am I willing to write some kind of love letter?Love letters are really a thankless thing. This is not the age of Abelard and Elyse, nor the age of Bernard Shaw's "Romans on Paper", and no one wants to write those love words of eachother on paper. In fact, it is always inconvenient to leave the handle in other people's hands once you have two minds.Besides, girls nowadays don't have time to write letters, which will delay the prom, go to church, and read "A Random Spot of Mandarin Duck".Some well-behaved boys have seen this for a long time, so they all ran to the girls' dormitory one after another and went on a date directly, how easy it is!How neat!How manly!

But for me, what do you teach me if I don’t write a love letter?I'm afraid of ghosts, but I don't believe in God, I don't have a place in church, I'm all limbs, but I'm clumsy; I dance like a drunk orangutan, and I can't go to the ball anymore.Although I have a thick skin, it is too ugly, and my back is not bad, but I can't always turn my back to find a girl, first teach her to appreciate my back, I always have to turn my face, but , for goodness sake!I am "unbearable to look back"! Looking at my younger sister and younger brother, you must think that I must be a handsome man. All my younger sisters are candidates for Miss China, and my younger brother also has the nickname "John Kerr of China".The ladies did not fail to help me, but when their classmates saw my true face in Lushan, they all gasped!At this time, I hurriedly showed my back to them, but it was too late, I saw their back first!The most hateful thing is that behind their backs is "China's John Kerr". Every time he waits for work, I pay for it, but he enjoys the fruits!

I can't hate God, because God created man in his own image, and he would never make such an ugly incarnation; I can't hate Lao Tzu and the old lady, because then people will say that I am not filial; so I have to hate my family Miss and young master, I hate that their shortcomings are all concentrated on my head, but what's the use of my hatred?In the end, the ladies had a showdown: "Brother, please don't blame us for not helping you anymore, please don't treat or bribe any more, God bless you, you can find your own way!" So I got angry and decided to find my own way.A real man, a strange man, asks others for help in order to find a woman, can this be considered a good man?So, I put on my coat and started walking in the rain, attracting women.But I ran all afternoon, but I didn't attract a single girl. Instead, I attracted a mad dog at the corner of the third section of Xinsheng South Road.It silently followed behind me, the master followed every step, and the master followed suit. I don't know if it is "looking up and getting taller"? , or "a dog sees people as inferior", in short, it is sneaky.It's very annoying, and it makes people worry about it.Finally, I couldn't bear it anymore, so I had to bend down once, and grabbed the stone. Now it knew what it was, turned its head and tail, and walked away in the wasteland, accompanied by several barks, indicating that the master it was following was no more than Neil!I was still standing in the middle of the street with a murderous look on my face, holding the stone tightly in my hand, and was celebrating a comprehensive victory, when I suddenly thought of the "Frankenstein" who liked the tactics of stones, so I threw the stone away in a hurry. It was too late, and I was finally seen by a girl. She smiled beautifully, sweetly, and "look I didn't get up". A charming little girl saw it, isn't it embarrassing, so I hated it again, I hated that bastard mad dog, I really wanted to peel its skin and eat its delicious meat, not to mention since the government banned it, I haven't eaten dog meat for a long time. If I don't eat dog meat, I won't have fever. If I don't have fever, I won't have enthusiasm. If I don't have enthusiasm, can I still talk about love? I'm crazy about you?

Looking at the beast that flew away, I couldn't help drooling, but I have to say no, even if I eat dog meat, it's useless, I'm so ugly, and I have such a bad temper, both of which are making a girlfriend fatal injury. I know that I have a bad temper. Girls nowadays like men with a soft temper. They like men to beg for mercy from them, and they like them to follow them persistently.In other words, they like men who are a bit servile. This kind of man will serve, be considerate, be angry, and kneel for three hours. "Words, don't be afraid to touch any number of nails! It's this kind of slave-like man, they chased away every girl I wanted to chase, and also chased away the only big beauty who was almost caught up by me.

When I mentioned that big beauty, I couldn't help but feel sad first. She is so cute, exactly the same as Jenna Lulu Bridget in "The Hunchback of Notre Dame".By chance, she discovered that I was quite talented, so she accepted my back, and we began to do what we could do in the season of love that Goethe said. For me, this was of course a sudden happiness, but soon, the sudden speed was overtaken by the sudden "Go", and she left me expressionless, just like I dropped the dog-beating stone. So, whenever I see or hear that she is with a slave man, I can't help but feel a sense of flowers and cow dung, a kind of righteous indignation that doesn't belong together. , to curse, to say "fuck"

I hate her being with other men, not jealousy, jealousy means that I am not as good as him, but how could I not be as good as him?He is a brat, what qualifications does he have to compare with me?I don't even want to compare with him!Jealousy, he is worthy of my jealousy, his only qualification is to be hated by me, I hate him for his luck, I am amazed at the short-sightedness of girls, I regret that I am so cute, but she has blind eyes and does not love me, God of love!Moon old!What do you eat?You only help girls to love philistines, but you don’t encourage girls to love poets. Life is so far, God rather than God, I’m so tired!How weary I am!

But how could I die so easily: Didn't she wish me "Shoubi Nanshan" on my birthday?It's easy for me to die, half a glass of boiling water, a bottle of eye drops, my heart swelled, my feet stomped, I ate it, then I stretched my legs, stared at my eyes, and couldn't breathe, alas!But it doesn't matter if I die, what should I do if I leave her? How sad should she be if I leave?I remember that time when we rowed the Yezhen boat in Bitan, my stomach was screaming, and I suggested going to Ximending immediately to watch a movie and eat out, but she was still too excited and wanted to go boating.Persuading her not to leave, I became angry: "I still have to row, I still have to row, what's there to row in the stinky pool? Why are you so self-willed, little girl?" , like a great dictator, who can't do without women and puts on airs in front of women. If you say go to a movie, you go to the movies. I got even more angry, and I yelled: "Who doesn't give you freedom, I said watching movies, the freedom to choose movies is yours; I said eating out, the freedom to order food is yours, you Isn’t it enough to have so much freedom? You still say that I’m not democratic! You women! You women!” Here you are, stinky literati, dictator, ugly monster, what's so special about you, let's go!"

I really left, I walked away angrily, without looking back, and I swore I would never look for her again.I walked back and lay on the bed, humming, tossing and turning, it was just her phantom.Three days passed, and I lost weight. I felt dizzy, weak in limbs, backache, so I decided to look for her again, and I wanted to see if she had lost weight too.In fact, she wouldn't be thin if she was there, so I don't have to say what I saw.Anyway, it was a terrible shot, and I couldn't kill it, so I had to close my eyes. I don't want to repent, what's the use of repenting?Anyway, she won't come back anymore, it's better to be a tough guy instead of frying old rice, I'll be a tough guy!I took out the pillow, dried it, and swore on the pillow again, vowing to find a woman who "wait for me equally", hoping that she can understand the truth of "Shu De Kong Zhao", but in the past four years, I have never turn up.

I don't judge a woman's degree from her appearance, just like I don't like women to judge me like this. Women are seen, not understood; and I, on the contrary, I am understood, not seen.The ancients said, "Too high forgets love, and the bottom is not as good as love." I am a forgetful too high, but I am passionate and not as good as love. Therefore, I had to write this flood of love letters to test whether you are a girl Exception in , if the answer is yes, then I'll say it. "Love me, but don't be arrogant!" If the answer is no, then I will say: "Shock! Don't you even love me? What are you arrogant about?" ××year×month××day May 24, 1961