Chapter 7 hello francesca

When we met Xiao Yi, we were both only sixteen years old.I just fell out of love, I fell in love with a rock musician, got rejected.That night, I came out of the bar where the rockers were playing, drank a whole bottle of Corona, and cried like an idiot. Xiao Yi passed by me, stopped me and asked: Can you give me the bottle? It was summer vacation, but Xiao Yi was still wearing a baggy old school uniform.The word "Hope" is printed on the back of the school uniform.During that summer vacation, he participated in an activity to buy extracurricular books for Hope Primary School in the mountainous area of ​​Guizhou. Every night, he would go out with a few classmates to pick up bottles and prepare to sell them for money.

I remember that I was a little dizzy, and after handing the bottle to him, I followed him in a trance.I felt very sad and wanted to divert my attention.I hope he can tell me something, such as puppy love is not good, what is true love and so on. Can you tell me something?Please, just say something. He was so annoyed by me that he couldn't stand it, so he said: the radius of Mars is half that of the earth, and the mass of Mars is one-ninth of the mass of the earth.The gravitational acceleration of Mars is 4.36m/s^2, which is two-fifths of that of the earth. This guy who dropped the book bag made me laugh so hard, I said, what are you talking about.Do you want to go to Mars?

I laughed and laughed and tears came down again.I said, can you promise me one thing?If I die, scatter my ashes on Mars. You can, but who are you? To this day, I still remember Xiao Yi's serious way of nodding.So earnest, I gave him a hug gratefully. During that summer vacation, I started picking up bottles with Xiao Yi.He called me a "bad girl" for a long time: drinking beer and crying at night, and hugging strangers. Later, we fell in love.Later, we broke up.Later, we reconciled.Then again, we broke up again. I'm twenty-six now, and it's been two years since Xiao Yi and I broke up last time.I always think of him, but I have long forgotten the rock musician I once loved.That person stopped playing the piano a long time ago and opened an outdoor goods store.I met him when I was shopping for a jacket, and as soon as he saw me, he called out my name.

He has gained weight, but his previously dirty hair and jeans are much cleaner.He invited me to dinner and returned my jacket for free. On the way home, he held my hand and stared at my eyes reddened by hormones and said to me: I always think of your bravery for love in the past. single. I laughed so hard that I couldn't straighten up, he first laughed along, then puzzled, then disturbed, then annoyed, and walked away. "Same as before, like a psycho." The wind rolled back his angry voice when he left, and I was stunned. The trait of "psychopathy" will probably accompany me for the rest of my life.I always do a lot of incredible things to test whether the world is friendly.Like stalking someone.

I even took it as a trip and bought a jacket. I told no one that the trip I was planning was dangerous and unknown.The man I want to follow is called Panggu.He is my boss. I went to his company for half a year, working as an administrative assistant. In fact, I have known him for a long time.When I met him, I was working as a receptionist in a resort hotel. I was scolded and cried in the stairwell because I didn’t complete the massage card pre-sale task assigned to me by the manager.He just ran into him, comforted me, and said something like "Young people should pursue their dreams instead of doing a job they don't like and crying because of it."He also gave me a business card for me to call him if I want to change jobs or if I need to.

I put that business card in my wallet for a long time and didn't take it out.It seemed to me that it was just a trick played by old men on young girls, knowing each other well.But the truth is, he didn't have any interest in me at all, he just had the sort of sympathy any old man would have when he saw a crying little girl.Later, when I went into his company with my business card to find him, he completely forgot who I was. Although, later on I did get a job from Panggu as a relational householder, but in the end we are the relationship between the employee and the boss, and this relationship is pure.The relationship between us didn't just start with a secret.The company organized a physical examination for all employees three months ago. Two months ago, I saw all the medical examination reports.Of course, I also saw Pang Gu's.A certain blood test, others are negative, only his is positive.God knows what I was thinking, I actually copied his inspection report and consulted my doctor friend.

My doctor friend said: The liver is not good, the big three yang and the small three yang have passed, it is very serious, and the possibility of liver cirrhosis or cancer cannot be ruled out.Tell him to come over quickly and do a biopsy. I cried, uncontrollably, in front of my doctor friend.Low tears have always been my unspeakable weakness.The little doctor was terrified and asked me who made the report, parents, relatives or lover? I shook my head and said no.There was only one message on his mind: he might be dying. After knowing that Pang Gu is sick, I always feel very depressed when I see him again.Seeing a patient every day is overwhelming.What's more, he hides so well. Every morning when he passes by my desk, he will say good morning to me, and when he leaves in the evening, he will say goodbye.Thinking that maybe one day, I will never hear such good morning and goodbye again, my heart tightens, and that tightness unknowingly affects a certain tendon of tenderness.

So, I just fell in love with my boss.Because he is sick, and like him.Here's another incredible thing I did. My love wasn't obvious, but I guess he knew it.I spent more and more time reporting work in his office, relying on him to drink a glass of freshly brewed Maofeng. While making tea, he told me that "one life, one meeting" is a sentence in the tea ceremony.It means, maybe in this life we ​​will only drink tea together like today, and we will cherish it deeply in our hearts. There are photos of his ex-wife and son on his desk. An old employee once gossiped and told me that when they filed for divorce, the feud was as deep as the sea.

But I think he has no enmity with anyone.Otherwise, how could there be such a pair of quiet eyes, knowing that he will be so optimistic and trying his best in everything he does?Talking about giving opinions to customers, and swearing at people during meetings, they are all full of anger. Maybe he discovered something. After I stayed with him late into the night, he treated me to a non-work meal.Most of the time I was eating and he was watching.After eating too much seafood, I had a stomachache and ran to the toilet N times, which made me embarrassing.Later, I invited him back to have a barbecue, of course I insisted on paying for it myself.It's only fair if you come and go.So is love.

I don't think I'm afraid of him at all. Others regard him as the boss, but I treat him as a patient, a patient I like. I was the one talking most of the time we were together, and I wanted to tell him all the interesting things I knew.I also told a very cold joke: a white cat saved a black cat, do you know what the black cat said? thanks?He took a sip of tea and answered me. How stupid, I said, how can a cat talk, and the black cat said: Meow, meow. He laughed and wrinkled. And then there was a kiss between us.I took the initiative.That superficial kiss happened when he was driving me home.After that kiss, he remained silent.We stood in silence for a long time until he let out a deep sigh.

He said, you are really a willful girl.I said I know.He said, I can't give you anything.I said I know.He said, I am sick.I said I know.He said, why are you so stupid?I said I know. Then he hugged me.Hugging in the narrow space in the car is so uncomfortable, but so warm.His hair was too short and stuck hard on my palm, and his breath was gushing on my neck.After a long time, whenever I think of this moment, I still feel heavy in my heart.He's the weak prey I'm hunting, and I love him so much. When I was very young, adults always used all kinds of lies to make me behave.Later, when I was older, I would expose those lies without scruple and with contempt.Thinking about it now, those lies are so beautiful, with love and expectation. I hope that Pangu also lied to me.But he was so honest that he even admitted that he had no love for me, just an ordinary relationship.But he wants to make me this, "fun" friend.Is it "fun" for him to go out on a date with a girl without love, cuddle, and accept her kisses? We also had many non-work meals together during the week.I feel like he's actually enjoying his time with me, but doesn't want to show it.He was silent most of the time and just listened to me.Occasionally, I will express my opinions and correct my biases in consciousness. Alas, you are wrong to think so. Alas, do you know that a girl should be more reserved. Alas, I'm really old, I can't hold it anymore. When we were together, there was a lot of laughter.There will be a slight smile in his eyes.Occasionally, I reach out and rub my hair.We have no other intimacy.Many times, I took the initiative to hold his arm, and he gently pulled it away. I tentatively asked about his illness. He did not hide. As I imagined, he was well aware of his illness, but he was unwilling to lie in the hospital bed and struggle to survive. If it were me, I would too.I will enjoy the rest of my days with the people I like.Even if it is selfish, I want to leave a memory in her life.Profound and never forgotten. I think so.After listening to my opinion, he smiled. So, I said silently in my heart, stay with me, and I will accompany you through the journey of life.I'll try to make you happy as much as possible.I will take care of you like a child. It's a promise. I put on a free jacket and smiled at myself in the mirror, and then started my journey of chasing love.That weekend, I waited for him downstairs at his house, waited for him to go out, got the car, and then followed him, giving him a surprise, and I wanted to confess my love.When he went to the hospital alone for an injection for treatment, when he was so lonely and needed company, he appeared in front of him.I will touch him and let him know that I can face everything related to life and death with him. Look, I'm actually so formalistic, thinking that wearing a jacket can win the battle. But his route was so different from what I imagined, I thought he would go to the hospital, but no.He went to a new community, parked the car with ease, walked, and went upstairs.Did he go to his ex-wife's house to look after the children?maybe.I sat in the cafe at the gate of the community for two hours before he came down.But instead of his lovely son, he was accompanied by a girl, younger and prettier than me.They were as close as one person, she was sitting in the co-pilot (I often sat in that seat), he helped her fasten her seat belt, bowed his head and kissed her forehead, she turned her head and smiled at him, her eyes were like adoring love. Who is she? With trembling fingers, I sent a text message to Panggu. Soon, the message came back: the girl I like. what about me?Reluctantly, I sent another one in the past. Sorry.he back. The jacket couldn't save my panic and trembling at that moment, and I watched my injured prey throw itself into another person's arms.The love that has always encouraged me, like saving a dying person, collapsed in an instant. I vaguely remember staying in my seat, the minutes ticking by, and I couldn't move.He did nothing wrong.He gave his love to the girl he liked, and enjoyed the last carnival that love brought to his life.As for me, I bumped into him on my own initiative. He couldn't refuse, so he flirted with me.Anyway, he was dying, who would blame a dying man for his ambiguity? It's just that I don't want anyone's ambiguity.If you like it, stay together, if you don't, say goodbye. After get off work on weekdays, I waited downstairs at his house.Go upstairs with him, make him dinner, and say goodbye. Watch a movie with me, he said. It's the old movie "Bridges of Madison County".He said it was his favorite movie.He said he resembled that late old man, Robert Kincaid. He tilted his head and looked at me for a moment and said: Hello, Francesca. At the end of the story, Robert Kincaid is not with Francesca. But Robert Kincaid has a destination after all, and Francesca is just a traveler he met. After leaving his house that night, I never saw him again.I never went to work again, nor did I go back to the small apartment I rented.I went to the resort where I met Panggu for the first time. This time, I didn’t do the hard work of the front desk receptionist. I went to spend. I have lived in a lake view room for a long time.Blow the hair every day, watch the sunset, and chat with the aunt who does the cleaning.I told my aunt that I was terminally ill and dying.My aunt looked at me distressedly and almost shed tears: what a wonderful child, what a pity.where is your family? I just laughed: Auntie, I was joking, why did you believe it? I'm a jerk girl, and I joked about it with a lot of people before I met Panggu.And Xiao Yi too.At that time, I thought I would be with him forever. I told Xiao Yi: I have a family hereditary spondylitis, and there is a time bomb buried in my body, and I may be paralyzed after the age of thirty-five.Are you willing to take care of me for the rest of my life? Xiao Yi's answer to me at the time was yes, but afterwards, when he looked at me, he became worried.Soon, he asked for a breakup on the grounds of personality incompatibility.This breakup wasn't like the ones we had before, where there wasn't any wiggle room.I can never imagine that the kind-hearted boy who picked up the bottle at the age of sixteen to raise funds for the Hope Primary School to buy books, the innocent boy who was willing to take my ashes to Mars, would leave me because of a joke like a temptation. With Xiao Yi, I am both unfortunate and lucky.Temptation is always a double-edged sword. Is there really a relationship that will never leave regardless of poverty, illness, or pressure?I believe there are.If Xiao Yi can't do it, I will do it.So I went after Pang Gu, tried to make humanity and love confront each other, and tried to confirm some persistence that seemed like a joke.But there is no doubt that I lost, love did not happen at all. Half a year later, I found a new job.At that time, my wallet was as empty as a homeless person, but the thief still refused to let me go.A thief with tweezers stole my phone. A week later, I received my first month's salary before I reissued the number, and the overwhelming text messages and missed call reminders came together.Then I saw Pang Gu's message: I'm sorry, thank you for loving me once. There is also a text message from an old colleague: Mr. Pang suffered from liver cancer and died three days ago. A heavy rain just fell outside the windows of the mobile business hall, washing the road, leaves, and cars of passers-by.I also experienced a heavy rain with my mobile phone in my eyes. I knew it would end like this, but I still couldn't resist the hope. I wish the news came later.