Chapter 67 Chapter Six

"Xiao Qun, do we have to wait for Captain Jiang to come back before leaving?" "You mean...? Ah, that's not really necessary." The sun was shining brightly at ten o'clock in the morning.The gunfire in the direction of Gongmu Mountain was silent.The column of black smoke ignited by gunfire on the ridgeline of Maoer Ridge has been extinguished.Looking around, the subtropical rainforest above and below the mountain is green and lovely, shining.The two reporters walked side by side in the woods on one side of the camp, the smiles on their faces were as light as a breeze, and the same clear eyes were full of touching emotions.They were about to leave the front line. In the cave, the luggage was ready; outside the cave, a jeep with the camouflage net removed was ready to take them off.For this trip, both of them also changed their clothes: Xiao Qun wore a blue and white sportswear; Bai Fan wore a snow-white long skirt, plus a beige windbreaker with exquisite stitching. ——The latter also carefully put on light makeup, as charming and charming as every day in the past, making Xiao Qun, who was able to notice her again, feel a little tenderness in his heart.At this last moment, they walked into a forest in a war zone, and suddenly they all felt a little bit reluctant.

After half a month of war, Xiao Qun's appearance has also changed a lot. His face is darker and thinner, but he looks more energetic.He went to Height 634 with Jiang Tao at night when the war broke out, and reported in detail the battle that took place in Height 632 the day before.From this day on, he spends almost every day on the front line, interviewing during the day and writing at night. The war is not yet over. Like the names of heroes and models, they have received widespread attention.Late one night, a colleague of the newspaper told him by phone that relevant parties had intended to award him the "Pulitzer Prize" for Chinese journalism this year.Since leaving school to become a reporter, Xiao Qun has regarded winning the "Lifetime Achievement Award" in journalism as his goal, and felt that it was elusive. Today he hoped to get it, but he suddenly realized that it would mean nothing to him. It doesn't matter anymore.

Like many people, Xiao Qun is not very clear about the profound changes that have taken place in his heart.This war has given him too much.He came to Maoerling half a month ago with various utilitarian purposes. Once the war broke out, facing the daily fights, tears, blood and death, he could not help but put all his body and mind into it, experience and experience It is all about war itself.He is excited for the victory of the frontier, and mourns for the sacrifice of every martyr. He often bursts into tears while writing, completely entering the state of war like a real soldier in the trench. Things didn't bother him at all.He didn't realize that while he was experiencing and experiencing the majesty and magnificence of war, and the bravery and loyalty of soldiers, he also experienced and experienced the heaviness and cruelty of war, which unconsciously changed his entire understanding of war. He himself also escaped death on the battlefield. Compared with surviving today, the "achievements" he longed for before the war are not worth mentioning; It is mediocre and trivial, meaningless and worthless, but now I feel that even the most ordinary day in a peaceful age is extremely beautiful, full of poetry, and worthy of singing and dancing!Now that his mission with Bai Fan is over, he is about to return to Beijing to reunite with his family. His heart is filled not only with joy, but also with the same exhaustion and emotion as every soldier who participated in the war.Looking back and thinking about himself before the war, he was so shallow, naive and self-righteous, he couldn't help but blush!

"... What is my real gain in this war?" Sometimes he would have such thoughts in his mind, "The real gain is not that I have achieved success in my career (although it is a temporary success), but also It’s not that I have so many fresh, heavy, and hard-to-understand war experiences, but that I suddenly understood one of the most essential things, that war and peace are actually the two most important parts of human life and history. Two main songs.  …There are many events in human life and history every day, some even dramatic, colorful and dazzling, but there are only two things that really matter: War and Peace. You can only start from here Only by grasping it can we truly grasp history....I have eulogized war for half a month. From now on, I will eulogize peace, eulogize its every day, eulogize labor, love and development....I will not refuse to eulogize war , when it is necessary to do so... But I will not praise everyone who thinks they can promote the progress of history with utilitarian purposes like before the war, and I will no longer be so shallow and vain...." Thinking Here, Xiao Qun's heart was deeply moved.

Compared with him, half a month of war brought Bai Fan more changes in his heart than appearance.On the first night of the war, she did not follow Xiao Qun to Height 634, and since then she has never had the courage to go to the battlefield.In the remaining days, her scope of activities was limited to a few dressing stations behind the front line. Although she also wrote some works, she was much inferior to Xiao Qun.What Bai Fan gained was something else: before the war, she came to Maoerling with a romantic heart, but what the war gave her was real fighting, bloodshed and death.When she realized that she could not bear all the weight of the war, she had passively borne it, and at this moment she saw herself clearly: whether she is a war reporter or an ordinary reporter, she is not suitable. She will achieve a lot, what she lacks is Xiao Qun's spirit and courage to devote herself to her career!

Once he recognized this point, Bai Fan became calm and no longer had too high demands on himself professionally.The remaining problem is Jiang Tao.This was also Xiao Qun's problem at first, after Jiang Tao treated them rudely late at night on the first day of the war.However, she soon discovered that Xiao Qun and Jiang Tao had reconciled. Xiao Qun, who was busy all day long, no longer hated Jiang Tao, and Jiang Tao also had an obvious respect for Xiao Qun because of his bravery and diligence.Jiang Tao became her own problem.Soon she heard the story of him and Zhang Li and Zhang Li's death from other places, and immediately realized vaguely that her feelings for Jiang Tao were not only contempt, but also deep hatred.Every play of Shakespeare tells people: Love should not only be romantic and beautiful, but also faithful.Jiang Tao shouldn't treat a woman who loves him like that!

She spent most of the days of the war with a feeling of deep hatred for Jiang Tao, never thinking that one day she would think about Jiang Tao with a new attitude.The longer the war dragged on, the more deeply she realized the weight it put on this man and his heart, the more she would have a different view of what happened between Jiang Tao and her that night before the war: Jiang Tao was like that. Doing didn't mean to belittle her, but just that the pressure of the war was too heavy on his mind, and he wanted to spread the pressure in that way.He treated her like that not because he was bad but because his heart was too fragile.This new view changed her hatred of Jiang Tao and made her feel a little sympathy for this man, but it was only sympathy.It was only a few days ago that Bai Fan felt tender feelings for Jiang Tao again.The war obviously and profoundly changed Jiang Tao, making him tired, haggard, and old, but his expression and gaze became generous, gentle, and humble.Although he hadn't formally apologized to her, it was in the way he looked at her and in his eyes.Of course they were not love, but they made Bai Fan's sensitive heart tremble slightly again!

But after all, she is not the same Bai Fan she was before the war.In the days when the war was coming to an end, she felt that she had almost completely forgiven Jiang Tao.It is not to forgive him for the big mistake he made to Zhang Li, nor is it to forgive him for being rude and impulsive to her (it made her very reluctantly involved in his and Zhang Li's story, becoming an innocent third party. the one), but the tender heart of the woman, which made him less embarrassed in his own imagination.Following Jiang Tao's gaze on her again, she quietly found that in a station near or far in her life, the possibility of her reunion with him appeared again.Jiang Tao will not forget Zhang Li soon, or he will not forget the pain and guilt that Zhang Li's death brought him, but he still has to live after the war, and it is impossible for such a man to walk alone forever.It might be difficult for other women to enter the center of his suddenly desolate vision, but she still had the opportunity.All her insight and understanding of his heart during the war, everything that had happened between them, could be their secret path to each other in the post-war years.She thought this way not only for Jiang Tao, but also for herself.It is impossible for her to become an accomplished career woman. All she can desire is to build a happy family.Jiang Tao is already a well-known war hero throughout the country. Even if he did that to Zhang Li and himself, after a war, you still have to admit that he is an excellent man, the essence of men.However, this is only one aspect of her problem. Another aspect is: besides Jiang Tao, does she have a better choice?If she finally chooses Jiang Tao, she will choose again the weight of war that she cannot bear.Was she really willing to live a family life under the threat of war forever?

An event that happened before coming to the war zone frequently appeared in her active center of consciousness.It was a Saturday night. She went to a party at the home of a college classmate and was introduced to an overseas Chinese businessman from Australia named He Jialiu.A few days later, this Mr. He suddenly proposed to her formally through his classmates.On the following night, Mr. He specially invited her to the bar of the hotel where he was staying. Facing a red candle, he told all about himself emotionally: both parents died, no brothers and sisters, he wanted to be a poet, but Inherited tens of millions of dollars of property, a ranch with an area of ​​100,000 acres.When he returned to China this time, firstly, he was negotiating the wool business with relevant parties, and secondly, he wanted to find a young, well-educated, beautiful and gentle girl like Miss Baifan to be his wife.He didn't want to marry a girl of a different race.Mr. He said that his choice was serious and prudent. He had lived in Beijing for a long time, and he didn't realize that he had found the one he liked until he met Ms. Bai.He asked Miss Bai to agree to his marriage proposal and go to Australia with him. His only promise was to make her rich and happy all her life.Bai Fan always took this matter as a joke, but replied that it was too sudden and she had to think carefully before making a decision, and she had actually rejected him in her heart.She is a reporter for a major newspaper, an intellectual woman with ambition and ideals, and she is about to go to the battlefield with Xiao Qun. The future of a famous reporter is waiting for her. How could she end up in a distant foreign country Bleak) What about being a rancher's wool lady?Bai Fan understands why she thinks of Mr. He Jialiu who is still waiting for her final answer in Beijing today: If she no longer fantasizes about having a successful career one day, but only wants to return to a housewife in a wealthy family with a happy life and love, If he can't make up his mind to choose Jiang Tao, it is no longer a very ridiculous thing to become Mrs. He Jialiu's Mrs. Wool.

But after all, it is still difficult for her to completely abandon Jiang Tao.The more it was time to leave, the more difficult it was for her to make a final decision.So this morning, after preparing for the departure, she dragged Xiao Qun into the forest together. ... They walked deeper and deeper in the wood until they came to the end of the wood and stopped there.From here to the south, they once again saw the Qipanling Mountain Ridge across the blue sky.The blue sky is high, the sun is bright, and there is a milky white mist floating on the ridge of Qipanling Mountain. The peaks of Tianzi Mountain in the south are looming in the mist; under the mist, the closer you are, the more vivid, vivid and sparkling green rainforest.But in such a perfect picture of nature, a gray-brown fried smoke rising obliquely from the vicinity of Height 164 to the sky destroyed all the charming atmosphere it should have.

Facing such a painting damaged by the war, Bai Fan's belief in staying to see Jiang Tao again was shaken.Jiang Tao will inevitably go through that extremely heavy moment in the future, will he treat you like Zhang Li? ! ... "Xiao Qun, I don't want to see Captain Jiang anymore. Let's go now, shall we?" After the two conversations between her and Xiao Qun at the beginning of this section, Bai Fan said again. Xiao Qun looked at her with incomprehensible eyes.Xiao Qun is a smart person, he doesn't know what happened between Jiang Tao and Bai Fan, but it's not completely impossible to imagine why Bai Fan made the above decision at this moment. "Okay, I agree." He replied as if he hadn't thought of anything. Ten minutes later they returned to the cave.Bai Fan sat down, left a letter for Jiang Tao in five minutes, and handed it over to Yin Guocai to convey.Then the two reporters got into the car and left the war zone all the way in dust and smoke. In this way, Jiang Tao rushed back to Maoerling at 12 noon, but he did not see them, only a letter left by Bai Fan. He opened the letter in his "bedroom". Yin Guocai walked in and found Jiang Tao sitting there solemnly, his face was pale, and he was staring blankly ahead. "Captain, what did Bai Fan write in the letter?" He asked. "No... nothing." Jiang Tao answered with difficulty, stood up, and turned his generous back to the chief of staff. He didn't intend to establish that kind of relationship with Bai Fan again.But why did this letter from Bai Fan make him feel that it was a heavy blow to him? ! He thought of Zhang Li again.These days, he has never had the chance to visit Zhang Li's tomb.In the afternoon, he would go there to see her no matter what!