Chapter 68 Chapter VII

However, in the following month and a half, his wish has not been realized. He originally planned to meet the commander in the army at two o'clock in the afternoon, and then went to the martyr's cemetery in the west of S County.However, as soon as he arrived at the military command post, he found that a large group of reporters who had come to the front line for interviews was waiting for him.He gave reporters a detailed introduction to the battle of Gongmu Mountain, and the army commander began to talk to him: First, he set off overnight after dinner, and represented Division L to the military region to make a comprehensive report on the recovery of the Gongmu Mountain area. Anxiously waiting for him to go; the second is to formally inform him that the military region party committee has approved in principle that he will take over as the commander of Division L, and he will take up the post after reporting to the military region this time.The division commander who had already worked in the army also gave him another task: Since both he and Liu Daoming were going to be transferred to new positions, the regiment commander Liu of the C regiment had been appointed to change jobs, and all the commanders of the three regiments of the L division were vacant. During this combat report period, the candidates for the three regiment leaders were carefully considered and reported to the army for approval.

It's night when the talk is over.After dinner, Jiang Tao set off by car.He thought he could come back in a day or two, but he didn't expect that it would take fifteen days.In the military region, he was first received by the head of the military region to report on the operation, and then he was retained by the various functional organs of the military region to cooperate with them in summarizing the victory of the war in all aspects.Fifteen days later, Beijing sent another instruction, and the head of the headquarters asked him to do the same combat report.Jiang Tao had no choice but to set off again, returning to the capital where he had been away for more than a year, staying in a hotel arranged by others in advance, and telling the chiefs at all levels the history of the battle in the Gongmu Mountain area time and time again as required.During this period, the Military Commission officially issued an order to appoint him as the commander of Division L.By the time he was finally able to leave the hotel and return home to rest for a few days, a month had passed.

In such a month, Jiang Tao's inner feelings have also undergone great changes.First of all, he got the rest that he so longed for during the war, and his physical strength and energy have recovered well; second, the longer the days from war to peace, the more the intense emotions left by the war in his heart were relaxed, and the war The new life images and feelings experienced later began to come to mind gradually and clearly.These feelings are: Although he led his troops to victory in the battle of Qipanling and was regarded as a hero by the people in the front and rear, in fact, except for him and his comrades, it is difficult for others to understand what this war has given them Not only that, when he returned to Beijing, he also heard people use the phrase "a small battle" to refer to this border war on different occasions. Jiang Tao was not used to it at first and found it harsh. Others may be "a small battle", but he devoted all of his life, even life itself, but he had to get used to it later, because even compared with the large and small wars that have occurred since the founding of the People's Republic of China, the battle between the male and female mountains The war can only be regarded as "a small battle"; secondly, after not living in Beijing for many years, this time I came back and found that it has changed a lot, it has become more beautiful, open and fashionable, but it seems strange and noisy to him. He felt that he was not a Beijinger but a foreigner.Although there were a lot of reports on the Battle of Gongmu Mountain in the newspapers, it did not arouse great repercussions here. People are more concerned about political changes, system reforms, foreign-funded enterprises, special economic zones, and a film called "Ashin". " Japanese TV series.Feeling all this day after day, the Battle of Gongmu Mountain gradually faded away in his heart. Painful protruding more and more clearly.

However, what really shocked his soul and completely changed his view of the Battle of Gongmu Mountain was a meeting with a high-ranking chief that he had waited for a long time. On the day he returned to Beijing, first he heard a report from the head of the headquarters, and then his mother who had many "connections" at the top all hinted to him: The real reason why he was asked to come to Beijing this time was not In addition, it was because the senior chief said that he wanted to see him in person after hearing the report from the relevant parties. For this reason, after reporting to the head of the headquarters, relevant parties did not let him go home, and his mother refused to let him go back, asking him to continue waiting in the guest house of the headquarters to be received by the head.He understands his mother's thoughts: how many people started their brilliant future because of the favor of the chief. The mother believes that although the son is now a hero on the battlefield of Gongmu Mountain, he is just a hero. Once you meet him, he is no ordinary hero, and his future in the military is likely to be limitless.The mother also revealed a secret on the phone: Jiang Tao's father and she had a very close relationship with the chief during the war years. It was only later that the chief got a high position, and the communication between the two families was interrupted after Jiang Tao's father passed away. up.She asked Jiang Tao to say hello to the chief for herself when the chief received him, so that the chief might be able to recall the difficult years of the war years spent together.Jiang Tao was a little impatient and determined not to follow his mother's advice.But since the chief had said that he would meet him, and no one was notified that the chief had canceled what he had said, he could only wait in the guest house day after day.

After doing nothing for a week, Jiang Tao decided that the chief must have forgotten what he said casually. He just wanted to call the relevant parties to express his views and ask to go home, but he received an official notice saying that the chief to see him. Jiang Tao became excited.Although what his mother said was not pleasant to his ears, but the chief really wanted to meet him, and he immediately understood what a great honor it was for him. From morning till night this day, he planned to report to the chief about the Battle of Gongmu Mountain, not how he was brave and good at fighting, but to tell the old man about the Battle of Highland 634, about Liu Zongkui and Shangguanfeng, about those who died in the Third Battalion of C Regiment The deeds of heroes, living and alive.

At six o'clock after supper he got in the car and set off, still feeling that he hadn't been better prepared.No!He is so excited. A black Honda car silently passed through the quiet streets and alleys, and sent him into a familiar courtyard.So it was like this, and later he thought that this kind of yard was familiar to him when he was a child: the outside wall of the yard is gray and has no characteristics. After driving in the car, you will find that there is actually a lot of space inside, and the exterior is also gray. Buildings, some royal style antique gardens and flowers and trees.The car stopped under the steps outside the building door, and a staff officer led him out of the car. After passing a long corridor covered with old carpets, he was ushered into the living room of the chief's house.The staff officer on duty asked him to sit down and wait a while, then walked through a door at the other end of the living room and disappeared.

Jiang Tao sat down, tried to calm his excited heart, and looked at the living room of the chief's house.The living room was very large, but it was no different from the big living room that his family used to have, except that there was a new fuchsia carpet on the ground floor that covered the entire floor.Compared with the living rooms of many chief executives below, the living room of this chief executive who enjoys great prestige at home and abroad is too simple. A waitress came silently, served him tea, nodded, and disappeared without a sound. Jiang Tao waited for twenty minutes.These twenty minutes, in his feeling, were longer and more difficult than twenty years.He came here with excitement, and the long wait made this excitement discounted.He stood up and sat down, sat down and stood up again.For a moment, he suspected that he would be thrown here forever, not only would he not be able to see the chief, but no one would even think of him and come out to greet him.

The chief came out at this moment.He came out of the door at the other end of the living room suddenly. No one reminded Jiang Tao beforehand, and no one followed the chief into the living room afterwards.Jiang Tao had stood up for the twentieth time at this moment, and he was a little at a loss when he saw the chief who appeared in TV news almost every day standing far in front of him.In the end, he reacted quickly, he stood at attention with a "snap", raised his hands in salute, and said loudly: "Reporting to the chief, Jiang Tao, a division commander of the L Division of the Army, has been ordered to see you!"

The chief didn't answer him, he clearly had just eaten, his face was flushed, and his eyes were bright.After walking out of that door, he saw Jiang Tao at a glance. He seemed to be surprised and then thought of something. Standing there, he looked directly at Jiang Tao for a while with those moist eyes that seemed to be covered with a layer of water, as if he wanted to Read something from his face.Then, he relaxed and sat down on a single sofa near the door, waved to Jiang Tao casually, like an adult greeting a child, and said: "Come here....Are you the son of XX? It's a bit similar....Okay, don't stand, sit down."

Jiang Tao walked over and sat down on a sofa closer to the chief than he imagined.He didn't realize that he was acting so nervous and reserved in front of the chief. The chief smoked almost immediately. "How many days has it been?" "Two weeks." Jiang Tao sat up straight and took out the report materials he had prepared from the combat map bag. "Sir, should I report now?" The chief slightly waved the hand holding the cigarette, still watching him attentively. "Well....No. I want you to come, just to have a look at you....You don't know, the year your mother gave birth to you, your father asked me to help him make milk powder for you. At that time , Milk powder is not easy to get."

Jiang Tao's tears suddenly became wet.He didn't want to "get close" with the chief, but the chief took the initiative to bring up the past, and he couldn't help being moved, and said what his mother asked him to say: "Uncle, my mother asked me to say hello on her behalf. The country is busy, so you should take care of yourself." The chief said "Oh" and smiled, the water in his eyes became brighter and brighter.Jiang Tao thought for a moment: the old man is in the happy, tender and nostalgic mood that often appears after a meal.At this time, he was not at all like a chief who was famous for his majesty in the whole army, but like an ordinary elder.His other feeling is that he doesn't need to report anything tonight, the chief may have already known about the war in the Gongmu Mountain area.When the old man asked him to come, he really probably just wanted to meet his son of XX who made great contributions in the Battle of Gongmu Mountain. "Is your mother okay?" "she's fine." "How many brothers and sisters are you?" "Just me and my sister." "Well.……" A pleasant, old-fashioned conversation that Jiang Tao thought would last for a long time was interrupted at the very beginning.A fairly high-ranking staff officer—the latter also often appeared on TV news—suddenly walked into the living room, walked up to the chief without stopping, bent down, and whispered something in the old man's ear . The chief's face did not change.His expression was originally majestic, and he was in control of major events in the country and the world. Now he still has such an expression, but the relaxed oil paint-like light that quietly floated on his face when he talked with Jiang Tao just now disappeared. up.Now he is as calm and majestic as people often see on TV, and there is a kind of simple, cold and daunting spiritual power that only people who shoulder the world's responsibilities hide in his calmness. "Notify the Ministry of Foreign Affairs to issue a statement that the situation in the ×× region is closely related to our national interests, and we will never let it go!" The staff officer answered "yes" briefly, turned and walked out of the living room.Just as the chief turned his gaze back to Jiang Tao, another civil servant hurried over. "Chief, I'm here." "What's the report from foreign media?" "They doubt whether I am really capable of safeguarding our country's interests in the ×× region." The chief frowned slightly, pensive, and looked straight at him with bright eyes: "Through relevant channels, disclose a piece of news to overseas newspapers, saying that Chinese submarines are haunting the ×× sea area!" The civilian staff looked at him, paused for a moment, and asked: "Foreign journalists asked about this matter, how to answer?" "'No Comments.'" The chief has stood up.A waitress came to put a coat on the chief, and two more soldiers—the chief's guard and secretary came and stood beside the old man, one on the left and one on the right.The civilian staff wrote down the chief's words in a large notebook they carried with them, looked up, and said: "I'll do it right away!" The chief nodded.The civilian staff is gone.The chief stood up, and Jiang Tao also stood up.At this moment, the chief turned his attention to him again. "Okay, I'm going to meet a foreign delegation at seven o'clock. You just joined Division L as a division commander? ... That unit is good. It's the old foundation of the Red Army. Do it well. ... Go back and say hello to your mother. Oh ...?" The chief said as he moved towards the door.Jiang Tao followed him to the door, watched him get into the car, and the car drove away almost immediately. ... This night, because he was too far away from home, Jiang Tao still spent the night in the guest house at the headquarters.Lying on the soft Simmons bed, Jiang Tao recalled the whole process of the Chief’s interview with him detail by detail. He was surprised to find that the fierceness and emotion in his heart, which had been boiling like magma, had suddenly disappeared. His eyes widened in the darkness.It was what he saw and heard during the few minutes when the chief met him, so that he could look back at the Battle of Gongmu Mountain not only with his own eyes, but also with the eyes of the chief.For the first time, he realized deeply: In fact, in the eyes of this chief who shoulders the future and destiny of the country, in his heart, in his life, peace and war between countries are happening every day. The war is the war on the entire earth, and the peace is also the peace on the entire earth, which is supported or covered up by the never-ending war.Under such a vision, no matter which piece of land in the Gongmu Mountain area or the battle to regain Gongmu Mountain, they are just a small corner and a small corner of the huge dynamic chess game of war and peace that is unfolding all the time on the earth. The incident, the gunpowder and war in the Gongmu Mountain area are just a wisp of smoke from the vast land, sea, and sky occupied by humans.For him, the Gongmu Mountain War has not passed now and will never pass in the future, but for this chief and the history of defending the country of the Chinese nation, it has passed long ago.The chief received him, or he just wanted to meet him himself—a son of XX who became famous because of the Battle of Gongmu Mountain and aroused his memories and interests—just. He went home the next morning. Many changes have also taken place in the family. At the beginning of the year, my younger sister and brother-in-law left Beijing to set up a company in the Southern Special Economic Zone, leaving my mother alone, which seemed empty.Since he moved out of this small building after marriage, he hasn't slept in his room for a long time. The bed looks small and the smell is strange.When his mother also used "that little battle" to refer to the war he had just experienced, Jiang Tao's mood completely turned bad. "Soldiers living in peaceful times are unfortunate. You may not be able to make achievements because you can't fight for a lifetime. What's more sad is that even if you participated in a war and narrowly escaped death, you still won't get the honor that the soldiers of the past era received. ...Soldiers have become unimportant in this era, you can rise to the highest level along the career ladder, but you are still an unknown figure..." In the night, looking at the dark ceiling, he thought like this . But the moments of such thinking are few and far between, and they suddenly become unimportant.What matters is what he thought about lying in the woods after leaving the battlefield. "...You have to live. But how do you live?" Lying quietly on the bed, he realized that his post-war life had really begun. The next night, he put down the bowls and chopsticks, walked into the living room bored, and sat down to watch TV. His mother brought in a tall woman of twenty-seven or eighteen years old, and said to him with a smile: "Jiang Tao, this is Fangfang from your Uncle Fei's house, let's talk about it." Jiang Tao understood his mother's intentions.Uncle Fei was a minister who once worked under his father, and now this woman is his daughter.The woman is well-dressed and her eyebrows are not ugly.But she can't compare with Zhang Li, and she can't compare with Bai Fan who abandoned him. "Please sit down," he said to her simply and nonchalantly after her mother left. The woman sat down on the sofa and carefully adjusted the skirt of the pleated skirt with emerald green background and gold pattern.After a moment of silence, he suddenly said bluntly: "Jiang Tao, I know you....My aunt told me about your situation. Personally, I have no objection to our friendship....My only condition is: you must find a way to transfer back to Beijing as soon as possible!" Jiang Tao's heart was stabbed.In the woman's words, he clearly heard the contempt for his current military career.He stood up, and said as calmly as he could, but still stiffly: "Sorry, I don't want to be transferred back to work in Beijing. ... Who said I would be transferred back to work in Beijing?" The woman's face flushed.After sitting for another minute, she stood up, picked up her handbag, said "goodbye", and left the living room. Jiang Tao didn't sleep well all night, so he went to Xishan alone early the next morning, and didn't go home until it was dark.As soon as he entered, he found a woman in her thirties sitting in the living room. She is the kind of small and exquisite woman with new hair, exquisite clothes, a precious diamond ring on her hand, and a little too much makeup... When she saw him coming back, her mother stood up from the sofa, and the woman followed suit. When I got up twice, my face became more red, and my eyes were a little flustered.Jiang Tao said hello to his mother and guests, and went into the bathroom to wash his hands.Mom followed and closed the door.Jiang Tao got angry: "Mom, what's the matter with you? Am I so difficult?!" Mother stopped him and said softly and angrily: "What are you arguing about!...You have to remarry! She is Mr. Qiao's youngest daughter. She divorced her husband the year before last. There is a girl. Mr. Qiao brought it up to me on his own initiative.... Mr. Qiao is the same, If there is nothing wrong, I said that I will buy you a house!" Joe is always a great artist who is acquainted with his father, and it is said that his bank balance has reached eight figures.Jiang Tao walked into the living room after washing his hands and face. He suddenly had a request for himself: You should give it a try and see if you can still enter the life in Beijing today? Seeing him coming in, the woman stood up again, trying to smile briskly, but more nervousness and panic appeared in her eyes.Jiang Tao felt sorry for her: this is a little girl who was frightened by her previous marriage.He asked himself: Can you really accept her?The answer is: no.Love should be natural and from the heart, just like Zhang Li was to him and he was to Zhang Li.This night was a total suffering for the woman in front of him and for him. He exchanged polite greetings with her.Finally, try to say in a calm tone: "My mother didn't understand my situation. ... Before returning to Beijing this time, I already had friends." The woman's face turned pale.She sat with her head bowed for a minute, trying to calm herself down a bit, then took her leave. Jiang Tao couldn't stay at home for a day.The next morning, he went to buy a train ticket and boarded the train going south. Zhang Li's voice, face and smile were once again distinct and lively, rising from the depths of her heart to the surface of her consciousness.Now he seems to really understand all the things that have happened in his life: he can't accept Fei Fang and the artist's daughter not only because he feels guilty for Zhang Li's death and can't forget it, but more importantly, when he didn't But when he valued Zhang Li's love for him too much and didn't understand the value of the happiness she gave him, he was already used to accepting this kind of love and happiness.Zhang Li's love is like the smoked wind from the mountains, carrying sunshine and the fragrance of soil, grass and wild flowers. It is warm, warm, simple and natural, making you feel relaxed and happy. Your life is full of passion and reverie about the future. Fei Fang and The artist's daughter had nothing but ostentatious, contrived beauty, or only engineering plans for a marriage.With Zhang Li, you will feel carefree, as if she is the incarnation of nature, a gift from God, all you can experience is happiness, Fei Fang and the artist's daughter make you feel first The weight of the chains of marriage.After Zhang Li gave him such love and happiness, he could not accept the latter kind of married life anyway. After three days and four nights, he got off the train in X city.The flames of war in the Gongmu Mountain area were still burning, and the L Division did not immediately withdraw too far from the combat zone.Yin Guocai personally brought a car to pick him up at the station.He got into the car and went to the martyrs cemetery in the west of S County without going back to the army. He got off the car outside the temporary "gate" made of pine and cypress branches in the cemetery. Under the guidance of a cemetery staff, he climbed up the newly dug corridor on the hillside and found Zhang Li's body among the tombs of many martyrs. tomb. Zhang Li's tomb was deserted.Since Division L withdrew from the Gongmu Mountain battlefield, families of the victims came to the Martyrs Cemetery in batches to pay homage to their loved ones.In front of the tombs around Zhang Li's final resting place, there are all kinds of sacrifices: joss sticks, wine bottles and wine glasses filled with wine, cans with lids opened, cigarettes that have been unpacked, and peeled fruits... only There is nothing in front of Zhang Li's tomb.Two months after Zhang Li's death, a little green grass sprouted out from around the tombstone.Jiang Tao thought about it: Zhang Li only had her parents' home, not her own home, and after her parents passed away, that home was no longer a real home for her! It seemed that it wasn't because of Zhang Li's tomb, but because of the shocking bit of tomb grass. Jiang Tao's chest was suddenly filled with a flood of sadness, and uncontrollable tears burst out of his eyes.He was negligent and didn't buy some sacrifices for Zhang Li when he came! "Zhang Li, I'm here, I see you're here..., even though it's a bit late, I'm still here," he squatted down in front of the tombstone, whispering as if to a living person, while taking out the bag from the pocket of his military uniform. He took out cigarettes from his pocket, lit them one by one, and stuck them on the grass in front of the grave. "When you were born, you had no home, no real relatives, and you were so lonely and desolate after death.... You only have me as a relative, but I don't know how to cherish you.... If you have a spirit underground, come and enjoy these few sticks Cigarette bar. "Why didn't life tell me until today that what everyone can have is limited, and the only thing I can have is you?... I feel guilty, I regret that because of my fault, you went to the battlefield and died. But what is the use of saying it now?... Pain is useless, and neither is punishment. In fact, life has punished me for your sacrifice.... I walked out of the battlefield alive, trying to get into it life after....I've tried it, but it doesn't work.... "Zhang Li, I didn't realize until today that human life—including yours and mine—is actually fragile.... Not only life is fragile, but human happiness is even more fragile. Happiness and Success is not the same thing. If you are successful, you may not be happy....In the past, I thought I knew everything, but in fact I didn't understand anything....There are many simple and profound truths in life. Because of their simplicity, People will turn a blind eye to them, and when you understand their profundity, you have lost your most precious thing. "Zhang Li, now I understand what I lost in the war. When I lost you, I lost my post-war life, my home and my own happiness....? I also understand that the real war trauma is It is difficult to erase, you are the wound in my heart that cannot be erased... My heart tells me that from now on, it will be very difficult for me to meet a person like you. It is impossible for others to love like you Me, it's hard for me not to use you as a standard to measure other women, so it's not easy for me to fall in love with someone again... My heart has been torn due to my own fault, you know it underground, you can definitely hear it The creaking sound it made as it tore. "Zhang Li, I was sorry for you when I was alive, and I will never make you too lonely after death. I will often visit you and sit here with you. I only have one request for you. I want to believe in my heart that we are married. You It's my wife who died on the front line of Gongmu Mountain, today is your wedding.... You are so kind and love me so much, you will not give me this last little comfort..." He sat in front of Zhang Li's tomb from noon to sunset, and the grief in his heart gradually subsided.When he came to Liu Erzhu's tomb, his mood was much calmer, but it was a kind of calm after the leaves fell in late autumn.He looked to the south, where the sound of gunfire was still coming intermittently, and the war was not over yet.From this moment on, he knew that there would be no happiness in his life, only war and the heavy duty of a soldier.