Chapter 13 Chapter Eleven How to Talk to Your Superiors
It is difficult to succeed as a subordinate if you are obedient, and you often run into a wall when you talk to your superiors outright.How should I talk to my superiors?Many examples throughout the ages have given us a lot of inspiration.
If you are not familiar with the psychological characteristics of your superiors, you will not be able to have good emotional communication, and you will not be able to achieve emotional consistency.
The working relationship between superiors and subordinates cannot completely ignore the emotional relationship.The psychological closeness and mutual help between the superior and the subordinate will reduce the friction and conflict between each other.On the contrary, if the emotional difference is very large, psychological collisions will inevitably occur, which will affect the working relationship.
According to social psychology research, communication frequency plays an important role in establishing interpersonal relationship.If you don't communicate with your superiors and adopt an evasive attitude, it is difficult to agree with your superiors.Without a consistent understanding, mutual support, coordination, and cooperation will be greatly affected.Therefore, familiarizing yourself with the superior's psychological characteristics is to better handle the working relationship, and you should not have personal motives and do what you like in order to please the superior.The work of the leader needs the support and help of the superior, and sometimes it is necessary to advise and persuade the superior for the common goal of the organization. These cannot be effective without good psychological communication.
Tang Taizong Li Shimin is a famous monarch in history.Wei Zheng is a confidant of Emperor Taizong of Tang Dynasty, who has always been used and trusted by Emperor Taizong of Tang Dynasty.But even so, Tang Taizong almost killed Wei Zheng because of the loss of face.
Once when he went to the court, because of a trivial matter, Wei Zheng remonstrated in front of the civil and military criminals of the Manchu Dynasty, which made Tang Taizong blush and embarrassing.But Tang Taizong was still a clear and promising emperor after all, so it was not easy to get angry in court.But after retiring from the court, he shouted angrily: "One day I will kill this country bumpkin!" Empress Changsun asked him who he wanted to kill.Taizong said: "Wei Zheng often humiliated me in the court." Empress Changsun was shocked when she heard this, and she knew Taizong's temper, so she changed into a grand dress and congratulated Taizong for getting a loyal minister.Tang Taizong suddenly woke up and spared Wei Zheng from death.
However, after Wei Zheng's death, probably because the anger in his heart could not be dissipated for a long time, Tang Taizong still sent someone to push down Wei Zheng's tombstone.However, if Tang Taizong wasn't so wise, and didn't have such a big heart and magnanimity, I'm afraid Wei Zheng's head would have moved.The experience and lessons learned in this must be thought twice for those who are subordinates, and they should be taken as a warning.
But all leaders pay great attention to their image in public.This is mainly out of the need to maintain their own authority.This need is made stronger and even indispensable by being publicly tested.If the opinions of subordinates embarrass the leader, even if he is out of good intentions, it will damage the prestige of the leader, and will affect the decision-making power and influence of the leader in decision-making, execution, supervision and other aspects.Once the leadership's prestige is damaged, the subordinates will have a little more doubts when dealing with the leadership's orders.This necessarily reduces the effectiveness of leadership power.The exercise of power must be based on effective obedience. Without obedience, power will have no name.Therefore, it is a better way to point out the mistakes of the leaders in private.
Originally, in daily interpersonal communication, people pointing out each other's faults should be the same as praising each other's achievements, which is gratifying.Because, for a person, being pointed out of his mistakes will make him more sober and calmer, which is conducive to reflecting on lessons and correcting mistakes. Take precautions.But praising a person's accomplishments in practice, even if it goes too far, never invites retaliation.But to point out a person's fault, don't say that the accusation is too much, as long as there is a slight hint or just touched on the appearance of this fault, it may cause dissatisfaction and even retaliation, let alone point out the fault of the boss.
In a modern enterprise, as an employee who is in the same boat as the company and a loyal and highly responsible subordinate to the boss, once he finds that the boss has made a mistake at work, he should not always turn a blind eye to it, adopt a wise and safe attitude, and let the boss continue to make mistakes , but must have the courage to point out at the right time.But we must be careful not to hurt the leader's face in front of everyone.
Therefore, if you want to point out the fault of your boss, it is best to have a face-to-face conversation with the leader alone, and the place of conversation should not be in a public place.Because, in the absence of others, the two parties can often exchange views in a calm and orderly manner.The leader accepts your opinion without losing face. He is psychologically balanced.The last thing to note is that once the leader accepts your opinion and improves his work, unless he announces it publicly, it is best not to mention to anyone that this is the result of your suggestion or correction.
Superior leaders have different personality traits, and you cannot expect to communicate with them in a unified way.In view of the different personal characteristics, qualities, and self-cultivation of different superior leaders, you should treat them separately, and pay attention to adjusting the way you speak.
If you meet a boss with a bold personality, it should be said that it is a matter of gratitude.As long as you can show your ability and outstanding work performance, there is absolutely no need to worry about not having opportunities for development.When talking to such a superior, maintain a flattering normalcy and adopt a tone of closeness.Be as straightforward as possible, because such people hate procrastination the most.But this does not mean to consider the simplification of the problem.The bold superiors are often broad-minded, allowing you to have an adaptation process at the beginning and forgive your mistakes, and you should also strive to develop the ability to speak simply and clearly.
Arrogance means "putting on airs".Many proud bosses like to "show money".Unfortunately, one of your new bosses is the patriarch of "show money", which makes colleagues look down on him very much, but dares to be angry and dare not speak out.
Smart people must understand that it is only a disadvantage to go against the boss.However, it is also impractical to adopt a "flattering" policy, because it depends on your luck.Most people like to wear a high hat, so it is not difficult to please the boss.The problem is, the power of big companies often changes rapidly, and it is not worthwhile to blindly flatter your boss.So, do you want to be a person who "obeys what you say"?In fact, as far as you are concerned, it is better to stick to your post and be an outlier than flattering and degrading your personality when dealing with an arrogant superior.In the communication process, you must keep the distance between you and do not say flattering words, because arrogant people tend to look down on self-deprecating people more.However, he often has a respect for those who have always maintained their personal dignity.
In addition to finding fault with the work of subordinates, the most annoying thing about totalitarian bosses is that they will act like tyrants and even intervene in your private affairs.For example, you are not allowed to socialize with colleagues in other departments, you are not allowed to take English classes after get off work, and you are not allowed to hang out with colleagues in your spare time... If you are alone and weak, the smart way is to join forces with other colleagues and quietly To "revolution".If colleagues from other departments invite you to lunch, say yes, and go with your colleagues.Everyone may wish to communicate in public or private.Also, it's a good idea to have some fun together after get off work.And reciprocity is a must, so it's up to you to take the initiative.If your boss finds out and asks you about it, you can be blunt: "It's just social when we have lunch together."
Enhancing yourself is the most powerful weapon, so don’t give up taking courses in your spare time, the boss has no right to object; stick to the principle, even if the boss uses overtime to sanction you, don’t be afraid.However, the purpose of your resistance is only to fight for freedom and initiative, not to oppose the boss in official affairs, and it is not appropriate to criticize the centralization of power by the boss in front of other people, so as to avoid sequelae.
Hard work and outstanding performance have only one purpose, and I hope that one day I will be appreciated by my superiors.But what annoys you is that when you meet a boss who is lazy and likes to fight for credit, you will be ten thousand unconvinced.Retiring at this point and finding another job is only a negative method, and starting everything from scratch is tantamount to re-arranging for a war, which is too much of a waste of ammunition.At the same time, shrinking back when encountering difficulties is doomed to make it difficult for you to climb the ladder of success.Stand tall and face the challenge!Generally speaking, when this kind of boss receives a major task, he must hand it over to you without thinking about it.When the task is completed, he will take it over again, explain to the boss, wipe away your hard work and sweat, and regard everything as the result of his own hard work, so as to win the trust and appreciation of the boss.
Of course you can't expose him face to face and reason with him, it will only put you at a disadvantage.Ideally, at each step, a witness is invited.Of course, it's not an open search, but intentional or unintentional, such as in front of the secretary, the purpose is to let someone know the ins and outs of the whole thing.Even if the ultimate credit is taken away by the boss, someone in the company must know the truth.One pass ten, ten pass one hundred, your goal can be achieved.
You have a boss who bows down when he sees a high and steps down when he sees a low. He lacks a sense of responsibility in doing things, does not understand his subordinates, and is suspicious, which makes you full of complaints.Remember, you must never complain to colleagues in other departments, pointing out the faults of your boss, the so-called "family ugliness should not be spread outside".Besides, what can these colleagues do to help?You're giving them a great talking point, and that's only going to escalate things, never do you any good!Think about it, would a boss use an employee who backstabbed his boss?Even if you are a partner, you can't confide a complaint, so as to avoid giving people the opportunity to inform people in vain because of the stake.Even if the other party complains first, you should keep silent.
So, how do you vent your dissatisfaction?Tell your boss directly!But first analyze the other person's personality and anticipate their reaction.For those who are conservative in thinking and have strong self-esteem, don't get straight to the point, you can only tell them in a tactful way.If the other party is more open-minded and broad-minded, you might as well make an appointment to express your innermost feelings one by one. I believe it will not be difficult to find a solution.
Some bosses like to play with power, regardless of public and private.It just so happens that you meet such a boss who often asks you to do his personal affairs for him, which makes you very angry.All you have to do is to reject him tactfully, but on the premise of not affecting your future.
Remember to say "no" first!For example, if your boss asks you to write a book report for his daughter, you must be absolutely unwilling, so tell him: "I'm sorry, I can't help you." If he asks you to do it after get off work, things will be easier, move out Reasons like this: "I have an appointment tonight, so I can't be late!" The next day, he asks you to do it again, you can find a suitable reason, and over and over again, he will retreat in spite of the difficulties, but what can you do? no.If this happened during working hours, you have more reasons, saying: "I still have three reports to write, and the boss said that I must finish them today!" or "I have never written a book report, let alone I There's a lot of work to do."
Such a boss can be said to be a somewhat insidious boss. Because he is prone to revenge, he always tries to cut off the unsatisfactory people, but at the same time, he does not show his inner feelings, making it extremely difficult for people to guard against.So in this case, when communicating with him, you must show an image of being very hardworking but lacking in talent.Those who work hard are easy to get their favor, but they hide their talents and make them despise you. Naturally, despising you will not guard against you, and even forget you, maybe it will be all right.Of course, in the long run, you should plan to find another job.
In short, different leaders have different work styles.To adapt to their style of work, cooperate with their work, and give full play to their talents, it is inseparable from the proper use of language.
The so-called interaction refers to the communication and exchange with the boss to achieve a certain degree of mutual assistance, complementarity, and mutual benefit; ways to jointly promote.Only in this way can I truly play the role of the upper management of the Shanghai Union and the subordinates of the employees.So, how can we achieve this interactive tacit relationship?
Some bosses have a more reserved work style, and they often don't express their intentions so clearly when they speak, and they don't speak fully and clearly.At this time, we need to pay more attention to carefully understand the subtext in the words, so as to make our own judgments, so that it is possible to reach a certain tacit understanding with the boss.
When the boss takes the initiative to ask for your own opinions, or when you have a certain opinion, you may wish to express your own opinions and put forward your own opinions.In this way, it is not only easy to generate communication and resonance between superiors and subordinates, forming a tacit understanding of interaction and complementarity, but also to reflect one's own talents, so as to win the opportunity to stand out.
A company is going to recruit a group of new employees, and the task is assigned to the Human Resources Department.Ms. Wang, the supervisor of the human resources department, is a very shrewd woman.In order to make the recruitment activities more successful, after submitting the work plan to the boss, she said to the boss: "Mr. Chen, when writing this work plan, I often think of the scene when I came to the company. I am not afraid of anything! Especially I am eager to have a sense of accomplishment. Therefore, I hope that I can abandon the feeling of being a part-time employee, and openly propose the goal of 'grow with the company', so that everyone who applies for the job can feel motivated." The boss said, I fully agree, and at the same time have a deeper understanding of Ms. Wang's ability.
In a sense, the boss relies on "lower affection" to grasp the overall situation and lead a group of people.Therefore, as subordinates, middle-level leaders should be able to sensitively notice various situations at work and among colleagues, and actively provide information to their superiors. wiggle room or opportunities for advancement.
When the factory manager came to inspect, a workshop director kept complaining that "the place is too narrow, and it is difficult to even turn around."Unfortunately, he just complained, but did not express his opinion, which made the factory manager unhappy.The deputy director of the workshop is different. He said: "In my opinion, this is a problem with the placement of tools-you should find a special place to store tools. I noticed that the raw material warehouse over there can be divided into a ten How many square meters for a single room? I calculated it, and it only costs 1,000 yuan." As soon as the deputy director's words came out, the factory director immediately paid attention.Because he not only complained, but made specific suggestions.Soon, he was successfully promoted to workshop director.
A celebrity once said: "For a certain boss, there is one thing you can never do, and that is to get too close to the throne. You must keep a safe distance from the boss." As a subordinate leader, you must squarely In the relationship with the superior leader, respect the superior.Generally, superior leaders have the mentality of maintaining a certain dignity and authority in front of subordinates.If the subordinate ignores the superior and speaks indifferently, it will arouse the resentment of the superior.Of course, the respect mentioned here does not mean being obedient and submissive to the superiors, but talking to the leaders with a mentality of asking for advice or discussing together, and convincing the superiors with a sincere attitude, strong evidence and sufficient facts.
If you, as a subordinate leader, have a new idea and think that this idea is very beneficial to the company.At the same time, you may be promoted because of this good idea, so how do you put forward your idea?You can adopt a retreat-for-advance method, ask him for advice with a humble attitude, and ask him to correct your views.There are two reasons: first, you need to know that your superior may have more experience than you in this area, and if you are a little careless, you will give your superior the impression that you are out of class.Second, if you present your opinion without humility and appear defiant, then your boss will think that you want to show that you know more than him and keep him down!Therefore, you should politely ask questions like:
Do you think it would be better and more appropriate for us to do this?
If we do this, do you think it will be more cost-effective?
In what areas do you think this program is still lacking?
How do you see the reaction of customers if we do this?
The suggested methods mentioned above can be used as a reference.Their advantage is that they will not hurt the self-esteem of the superior, and will not make him think that you are rude and rude, but will feel that your attitude is modest and cautious.If your idea is really feasible, it will naturally be accepted by your superiors, and you will be valued more.
If your suggestion is not adopted, you should also say: "This is the reason why I ask you for advice. After all, you are rich in experience!" Such words can make you step down, and the superior is also very useful.
Therefore, we must pay attention to maintaining an appropriate distance from our superiors, and on the basis of maintaining a certain distance, we can reach a certain mutual benefit relationship with the superiors, so that we can truly adapt to the requirements of the superiors, so that the superiors and subordinates can understand each other. Understanding and interpersonal understanding.The determination of this distance is mainly based on the character of the boss and the degree of recognition of interests, but in any case, more personal emotional factors cannot be tolerated.
When you put in your best efforts year after year, day after day, and are diligent and loyal to the company, but you are not appreciated and praised by your superiors, have you ever thought about the reason?At this time, you may complain and complain.But you must understand that this is not entirely the fault of the leader.Just imagine, how many people in the company need to be worried about by the leaders.Your "ignored" is also understandable.Therefore, you have to be a "voice person".
When you have completed a very difficult task, you must first report to your leader to let him know that you have a good head and the ability to cut through messes quickly.
Remember, don't wait for something to go wrong before you think of going to the leader.Leaders like competent subordinates.If you have always been shrewd and capable, even if you get into trouble, the leader will be lenient and forgive you.The most fearful thing is that every time you report to the leader, it is all bad news about "losing Maicheng".In this way, your impression in the mind of the leader must be very bad.
The following points should be paid attention to when "reporting good news" to the leader:
Instead of spending time and energy describing what you did, tell him the result first.Leaders are very busy, so they use limited time to report what the leaders care about most. This is called the "benefit selling method".
Be as concise and to the point as possible, and remember to thank others before giving your own credit.
If it is a written report, be sure to sign your own name. Don’t write a thousand words but forget to add your own name, or include all the names of your direct supervisors and leaders, but leave out your own. "Fall short of success."
After the report is over, don't ask for a reward immediately, just leave a good impression on the leader.Otherwise, the leader may feel that you are too eager for quick success.As long as you win the affirmation of the leader time and time again, over time, the achievements will come naturally, and you will always have your share in promotion.
In addition to reporting to your leader, it is best to tell your colleagues and subordinates the good news at the same time and let them share it. This will not only improve popularity, but also create "public opinion" and let others perceive your "sparkling point".
After making the cake, you have to think about squeezing the flowers. With the beautiful cream flowers, the cake will naturally win people's favor.Don't forget to report to the leader at any time, that is to squeeze flowers on your own cake and let the leader cheer for you.
Around us, it is not uncommon for generals to be inferior to pawns and rulers to be inferior to ministers, and it is also common for capable soldiers to be suppressed and strangled by mediocre generals.If you are a smart pawn, but meet an incompetent general; or even if your boss is not an incompetent general, then he is not an omnipotent god, and he cannot solve some problems, what should you do at this time ?As a responsible subordinate, when you find that your boss has made a wrong decision, you should give him advice and suggestions from the perspective of safeguarding the interests of the company.But how to "advise" the boss to achieve the desired effect?
For those subordinates who dare to speak out, the headache for the boss is often not how unacceptable their opinions are, but the way the subordinates put forward their opinions makes them unbearable.
For example, in this case, "Manager, what you just said is completely wrong, I think things should be handled this way..." or "Manager, I don't agree with your approach, I think it should be..." You put the boss's idea Or if you try to kill him with a stick, needless to say he is your leader, even ordinary colleagues and friends are very difficult to accept.If you make your boss feel uncomfortable, the boss will naturally have a grudge against you.The chances of your opinion being adopted are slim to none.
So how to make your boss accept your suggestion happily?
"Zuo Zhuan Zhaogong Twenty Years" says: "The ministers can give up their offerings." It means that the ministers should suggest to the king that they should replace what should not be done with feasible ones.When subordinates "advise" their superiors, they offer more "yes" and less "no", which includes two meanings: first, they should explain their views more from the front; second, they should negate and criticize less from the negative The opinions of the boss even have to deliberately avoid direct conflicts with the opinions of the boss through roundabout methods.
For example: You are a department manager of a company, and according to the development of the business, you need to be assigned a deputy in charge of the business.At this time, you want to promote a subordinate who understands the business and has experience to take up the position, but the boss is going to send a layman who does not understand the business from other departments to the position.In this case, you can use the topic more on the conditions that the deputy manager of the department should have and the conditions that the candidate you have already possessed, instead of refuting the candidate proposed by the boss.This can not only avoid direct conflict with the boss, but also keep the topic on the candidate you mentioned.
The "under the table" and "desktop" here refer to informal occasions and formal occasions, private conversations and public exchange of views.The so-called "more 'under the table' and less 'desktop'" means that when subordinates give advice to their superiors, they should use more informal occasions and less formal occasions; try to talk with their superiors in private and avoid publicly expressing opinions to their superiors.Doing so can not only leave room for maneuver, even if you make a mistake in making an opinion, it will not damage your image in the eyes of the public, but also help maintain the personal dignity of the boss, so that the boss will not fall into passivity and embarrassment.
Professor Robinson of the United States once said such a very enlightening sentence: "People sometimes change their opinions naturally, but if someone says he is wrong in public, he will be annoyed, become more stubborn, and even defend himself wholeheartedly. It’s not that the opinion itself is so precious, but that his self-esteem is threatened.” Robinson’s words tell us that everyone has self-esteem, and everyone has the instinct to maintain their dignity.As a subordinate, even when "advising" the boss, don't forget to maintain the dignity of the boss.
Carnegie once said: "If you just make suggestions and let others draw their own conclusions, making him feel that the idea is his own, wouldn't it be smarter?" It means to "advise" the boss not to point out the mistakes of the boss directly or to make your so-called correct decision for the boss on behalf of the boss, but to explain the decision and opinion to the boss by guiding, probing, and asking for opinions. It does not conform to the actual situation, so that the boss can naturally make the correct decision you want to say after referring to the information and information of the suggestion you put forward.
Many practices have also shown that people often believe more firmly in their own opinions than those imposed on them by others.Therefore, as a smart subordinate, if you want to turn your own views into the ideas of your boss, you should only do a good job of guiding, making suggestions, and providing information in many cases. The conclusions contained in it are best left to the boss to decide. .
You can grasp a place in the boss's opinion that you agree with, and give affirmation and appreciation.Praising your boss implicitly will increase your relationship with your boss and shorten the distance with your boss.Praising the boss is the recognition, support and praise of the boss, and it is the "lubricant" for the relationship between the subordinates and the boss.There is no boss who doesn't like to hear compliments.The leader is the "captain" of the team and needs everyone's encouragement and applause.
However, although some people have always been "positive" in praising their bosses, they don't pay attention to the method. Not only the boss doesn't like to hear it and dare not accept it, but even their colleagues feel disgusted when they hear it. Not only does it not achieve results, but it also offends others .This requires you to grasp the skills of praise when you praise your boss.
So, how to do it without revealing it?
Complimenting your boss is best done in a "public" tone while incorporating your own compliments.
A manuscript by editor-in-chief Liu of a certain newspaper was published in a certain newspaper, and Xiao Zhang praised it without losing the opportunity: "Editor Liu, everyone is learning from your reports. We all think that your reporting angle is unique, and we all want to ask you for advice. "Editor Liu was very happy after hearing this.
When praising your boss, you should use "neutral" words as much as possible, and you must not abuse adjectives and adverbs.Be sincere and sincere.If you say "most, most, most" and shut up "very, very, very", it will inevitably make your boss feel that you are exaggerating, and that you are more vain and insincere.
A leader often writes speeches by himself, and occasionally when the secretary prepares the manuscript for him, he also tells the secretary the "path" of the manuscript in advance for the writer's reference.Therefore, the secretary often said to him: "As a leader like you, we are almost unemployed." "People say that writing manuscripts is hard work, but writing manuscripts for you is a beautiful job."
Since the praise was appropriate, the leader happily accepted it every time.If the secretary said: "You are really capable!" "No other leader can compare to you." Then the leader must not be able to accept it, and there will be no good results.
For the method of praise, direct praise and indirect praise can be used together.Direct praise mainly refers to "speaking directly" to the superior personally and praising in person.If the boss has just finished the report, he will take the initiative to ask you about your impression of the report.Then you can use appropriate language and give direct praise in a down-to-earth manner, and don't deal with it with words like "it's okay" or "just enough".
A certain city held a tourism on-site meeting, and the leader in charge of tourism had once been engaged in Chinese education.The leader quoted extensively in his speech, and the language was very humorous.Everyone thought that his speech was of a high level and reflected the actual situation of the city's tourism work.After the meeting, the leader asked a reporter who was interviewing him: "What do you think of my speech today?" "How did the audience respond?" The reporter replied: "Your speech today is very accurate. The current situation of the city has been introduced to everyone, and the prospect of future development has also been shown to everyone. We are all very encouraged!"
The leader was relieved by the journalist's well-placed praise.This is easier to accept than direct compliments such as "Your speech is really good!" "Your speech is wonderful!" and so on.Indirect praise also includes praise in a roundabout way when the boss is praised face to face.As in the above example, you can pass on everyone's reactions after listening to the report to your boss.This is both a direct compliment and an indirect compliment.
When it comes to complimenting your boss, it's important to praise what your boss really cares about.If your boss doesn't care about things, you will inevitably be hated if you praise them endlessly.For example: the first public speech of the new boss; the decision made by the boss that has been proved to be completely correct; the success of a certain job that the boss has recently achieved;These are often things that the boss cares about and can be properly praised.
Director Li of a certain bureau likes to drive, often drives by himself, and is willing to talk about his driving skills.Once, the chief driver, Xiao Zhang, accidentally twisted his waist while driving.Director Li let Xiao Zhang take the car and drove by himself.At that time, it was the rush hour for vehicles and the traffic was heavy on the road, but Director Li drove steadily and not slowly.At this moment, Xiao Zhang said, "Director, I never thought that your driving skills are so good, and you can drive so fast under such circumstances, even better than a professional driver."
Director Li was very happy with this sincere compliment, and exaggerated Xiao Zhang's foresight.
Compliments in front of your boss' relatives capture what they have in common.For example: Li Jun went to the director's house as a guest, and the director and his wife warmly received him.So Li Jun seized on the enthusiasm and hospitality of the director and his wife in handling interpersonal relationships and praised them greatly.In front of the leader's superiors, you must prudently praise your leader, and don't mix right and wrong into it, which is self-defeating.In communicative occasions, praise the boss for succinct language and play the role of "selling" the leader.
In short, praise to the boss should be moderate and vary from person to person.Of course, as a subordinate, don't be complacent about being able to praise your boss, and don't worry about not being familiar with it.Because, the key to determine the success or failure of your career is not whether you will praise.
Subordinates must show great patience in dealing with a stubborn boss.Because of the boss's stubbornness, it is not easy to convince the boss.
Generally speaking, this kind of stubborn boss hates subordinates standing on the opposite side to find fault and correct themselves.Therefore, if you want to persuade your boss to change your mind, you must pay attention to your own foothold.We must start from the standpoint of caring and loving, and we must show that we are wholeheartedly thinking about the boss.Get closer to your bosses in terms of thoughts and feelings, and put yourself in the shoes of your boss.By helping the boss, the boss can understand the sincerity and kindness of the subordinates, and feel from the heart that the subordinates are "sitting in the same boat" with him and need to help each other.In this way, the ideological and emotional resonance paves the way for the subordinates to persuade, and the subordinates' persuasion becomes easier to accept.
At the same time, the attempt of persuasion should not be too explicit, and it is not advisable to speak directly to the boss.An effective method is to address specific issues, state more factual materials and your own opinions, and let the facts speak for themselves.
Officers and soldiers from the first company of a certain unit assisted the local TV station in filming a documentary.Due to time constraints, they worked overtime to shoot at noon one day.When the team leader arrived at the scene, he was very annoyed when he found that he was missing a few props. In front of the whole company, he criticized the company commander for his poor work organization, which affected the shooting.The company commander couldn't hold back his face anymore, so he justified a few words.The head of the regiment became even more angry, saying that he had no leadership, ordered him to write a review, and punished him.Staff Officer Ding who accompanied him felt that the regiment leader had gone too far.In the afternoon, he asked the head of the group to report the situation, but the head of the group insisted on his opinion.So Staff Officer Ding first pointed out that the company commander really shouldn't contradict the regiment commander face to face, saying that the company commander was young and energetic, and criticized the company commander, and then said: "I have understood the situation, and the company did not bring all the props because of the arrangement. The people who used the props didn’t explain it clearly, so it’s not all their responsibility. Later, the director made a remedy, so it didn’t affect the shooting. And you criticized him so harshly in front of the whole company’s soldiers, how do you ask him to lead the troops in the future?” In the evening, the head of the regiment went to the company with Staff Ding.He said to the company commander: "I was a little impatient today, and I misunderstood you." The company commander was very moved and reviewed his own problems.
Patiently stating the facts has great persuasive power.As long as you can pay a certain amount of patience and explain repeatedly to your boss, so that the boss can realize his own mistakes, you can receive obvious persuasive effects.You can't blindly confront your boss head-on, that will only irritate your boss, make your boss have more opinions on your subordinates, strengthen the wrong ideas in your boss's mind, and increase the difficulty of resolving your boss's stubbornness.
Most people think that as long as they perform well and do a good job, sooner or later it will be heard by their superiors.Unfortunately, this is often not the case, and it is possible that you are doing a great job and no one else knows.
Therefore, we must not only do well, but also speak well, so as to be appreciated by our superiors.So, how do you say that you can get the appreciation of your boss?
This is the most effective way to deal with your boss.Point out the advantages of the boss in other public places and let him know; do not forget to tell colleagues and higher leaders when you have achievements, which is also a credit to the boss; Tell the boss the information, and he will put it forward; don't tell the whole plan, but leave room for the boss to express his opinions.In short, let the boss feel his dignity and importance everywhere.
Most bosses want to know about various aspects of their subordinates, such as someone's mother is sick and hospitalized, someone's birthday is on a certain day, and so on.After the boss understands these situations, moderately expressing concern can increase the sense of intimacy with the employees.It's worth noting that what your boss needs to know isn't that you're maliciously attacking or revealing someone's secrets, or asking you to tip him off.When talking about colleagues with your boss, you can only talk about the strengths of your colleagues.This will help you establish a good relationship with your colleagues and let your boss see that you are decent and credible.
Bosses often sit alone in the office after employees leave work.Bosses are also human beings, and they will also feel depressed when faced with work pressure, and they will also have a hard time learning about family life.上司有时会表现出脆弱，同样希望得到别人的抚慰。但如果你就此肆无忌惮地探问其隐私，甚至为其出谋划策，那就是马屁拍在马腿上了。要知道即使上司最脆弱时，他也只是寻求适度的关心，一杯热茶就足以让上司认为你是一个善解人意的好下属。你还可以给上司随意讲出一个令人捧腹的笑话，开解他郁闷的心结，他会发自内心感激你。记住，真正热爱你的上司，出发点应是爱戴而不是利用。
尽管许多上司从不反对下级讨好奉承，但他们更喜欢那种工作踏实、作风正派的人。如果你把上司交待的每一件事都办得井然有序，然后再说几句上司爱听的话，比起那些只会吹牛拍马却不干实事的人，上司更希望接近你这样的下属。
在与上司相处时，你要勇敢地迎着上司的目光，而不要躲躲闪闪；你可以坦率地与他交换看法，只需做到不隐瞒不夸大就可以了；不要议论上司的隐私，并尽己所能努力工作，争取成为其最佳的部下。做到了这些，还愁上司不赏识你吗？
加薪和升职永远是职场里的人最关心的话题，也是棘手的问题。许多人并非表现不好或没有工作能力，他们只是不善于表现自己。如今的企业老板因公务缠身，不可能每时每刻都留意你的表现。作为员工有必要主动、适时地表现自己。只有这样才能达到自己的预期效果。当然，每个人的表达方式都会不同，关键的一点是有技巧地表现自己。
加薪是小李渴望已久的事情。论起资历，他在厂里一干就是四年，自认工作态度还行，也没有犯过什么过错，可是老板根本没有给他加薪的意思。小李觉得自身价值得不到体现，心里很烦闷。他曾多次在工作总结会上暗示过老板，但老板对此也没有丝毫反应。让他明确地向老板提出这个要求，又觉得不好意思，怕遭到拒绝，但是不说的话又不甘心，最后他还是鼓起勇气，委婉地向老板说明了自己的意思。出乎意料的是，老板在观察他工作几周后果然为小李加薪了，事情就这么简单。小李认为，只要是属于自己的正当权益，就应该努力去争取。
当然向老板提出加薪，也要讲究技巧。
如以商量、倾诉的语气向老板陈述自己的意图。老板会非常注意聆听，并且询问你工作上遇到的问题，最终可能会为你加了薪水。
其实，老板和员工的关系是平等的。只要你认为加薪是合理的，你就有权提出。但你必须注意说话方式，最好是巧妙地、有技巧地把自己的意图传达给老板，就算万一不被老板接纳，也不至于让双方陷入尴尬的局面，以致影响日后的相处。
在作为与地位的关系上，有人认为只有先有地位、权力与权势，才可能有一番作为。事实是先有作为，才可能有地位。原因有二：
有着规范薪酬制度的单位，对员工的评价都会公正而客观。他们会关注每一个员工的成长与进步，岗位交流、专业培训甚至破例录用等机会，在这样的单位时常会有。每一位勤恳工作的有能力的员工都坚信晋升的空间在等着自己。他们的工作更为积极和主动，根本不需要员工本人去刻意追求或为是否向老板提出加薪用尽心机。
职场中人，有了作为，便有了地位，随之上升的不仅是薪水，还有个人的能力及素质。
还有一部分人认为，直接向老板提出加薪，主要由自身的“底气”所决定。正规的具有发展潜力的企业老板一般比较开明，只要你有真才实学，你肯定是底气十足，老板自然乐意根据你的贡献加薪；若底气不足甚至少有成绩，莫说加薪，就是保住位子也有困难。若遇上那些抠门儿的老板，要相信一句古话，即“留得青山在，不怕没柴烧”，大可挺起腰杆走人，何必觊觎他老大不愿才挤出的几个子儿！
底气足不足，自己最清楚。没有底气，加薪的事也就甭提了。所以说，加薪的前提是要有底气。底气是什么？也就是你平时的工作表现以及你为公司的发展所做出的努力。有了这一切，你的底气自然就上来了。提不提加薪是你自己的事，但有一点可以确信，你迟早会被加薪，因为群众的眼睛是雪亮的。
有一份调查曾经表明，有30％的下级领导因为害怕“拍马屁”之嫌不愿接近上级领导，这就给上级领导者与下级领导者之间相互了解设置了障碍。其实任何一个下级领导者都希望上级了解自己。只有上级了解自己才能取得上级的信任和赏识。的确，取得上级的了解和信任，是与上级搞好关系的关键。
从上级领导角度来说，自然应主动与下级接近，以达到相互了解的目的。但有的上级领导工作繁忙，排不出多少时间；有的领导摆架子，不愿接近下级；也有的上级领导根本不想了解自己的下级。所以仅靠上级方面的努力是难以做到的。作为下级，也应尽可能主动地向上级领导靠拢，从而获得上级对自己的了解。没有了解，信任就无从谈起。争取上级对自己的了解，目的是为了引起上级对工作的重视和支持。
在接近上级，与上级沟通时也要掌握一定的方法：
下级就某项工作向上级请示时，除了选择合适的时机外，还要反复强调，有时要多次磨嘴皮，使上级对这件事由无所知之到知之甚深，由不太理睬到“挂上号”，进而到大力支持。
这种方法常用于在“正面请求”无效的情况下采取的一种辅助补救法，尤其对心地善良而又自尊心强的上级尤为奏效。譬如，与上级情投意合的同级、深得上级器重的其他下级、上级的老朋友，甚至上级的家庭成员等，都可作为帮你说情的对象。
不过，这中间要注意几个问题：疏通分管的上级，一般不宜越级，避免产生对他不信任的感觉；选择说情者切忌选择虽有口才，却不是上级欣赏的人；动用说情者不宜人过多，面过广，以免上级产生你在给他施加压力的错觉和误解。
这种方法可用于举棋不定、行动迟缓的上级，对其施加一定的精神压力，使其在潮流面前感到只有听从你的意见，才能消除心理上的负担，以避免落后或失职的危险，从而转变态度。而对于不同的上级，可采用不同的催逼法。针对“唯上”思想严重的上级，可着重引用更高层领导部门的文件、指示；对“唯书”思想严重的上级，可着重引用报刊书籍上的重要文章；对“唯实”意识较强的上级，则要着重于引用可靠的信息数据、事实材料。
在工作中上司的批评和指责是很难免的，谁都不喜欢被批评，尤其是上司批评自己时，几乎每个人都会有抵触情绪，说话也难免带火药味或敷衍了事。这样只会增加上司的怒气，招致更多猛烈的批评。正确的做法应该是平心静气，让上司把话说完，反省自己的过失，认识到上司指出的缺点，体谅上司的苦心，同时还要善于运用口才，把上司的怒火控制在最低限度，既给了上司出气的机会，也保住了自己的面子。
在工作中，突然受到来自上司的批评，当然是件麻烦事，处理不好会造成很大的影响。要应对上司的批评，首先要搞清楚上司为什么批评你。
上司批评部下，有时是发现了问题，促进纠正；有时是出于一种调整关系的需要，告诉受批评者不要太自以为是；有时是为了显示自己的威信和尊严，与部下保持或拉开一定的距离；有时是“杀一儆百”，使不该受批评的人受批评……搞清楚了上司为什么批评你，就可以把握情况，从容应付。
受到上司批评时，你需要表现出诚恳的态度，从批评中确实接受了什么，学到了什么。最不应该采取的态度就是满不在乎。最让上司恼火的，就是你把他的话当成了“耳旁风”。很少有领导把批评别人当成自己的嗜好。既然批评，尤其是训斥容易伤和气，因而他也是要郑重其事的。一旦批评了别人，就又产生了一个权威问题、尊严问题，如果你对他的批评置若罔闻、我行我素，其后果也许比当面顶撞更糟。
有些聪明的下属善于利用批评，因为他们知道，正确的批评自然有其道理，错误的批评也有其可接受的出发点。也就是说，受批评才能了解上司，接受批评才能体现对上司的尊重。
所以，对批评不要不服气和牢骚满腹。即使是错误的批评如果你处理得好，反而会变成有利因素。可是，如果你不服气，发牢骚，那么，你这种做法产生的负效应，足以使你和上司的感情拉大距离，关系恶化。当上司认为你“批评不得”时，也就认为你“提拔不得”了。
不要把受到一两次批评和自己整个前途命运联系起来，觉得一切都完了，灰心丧气。如果受到了批评或者训斥，你就一蹶不振，打不起精神，这样会让上司看不起。如果你是这样一种表现，以后上司可能不会再批评、指责你什么了，同样，你也就不会再受到信任和重用了。
受到上司批评时，反复纠缠、争辩，希望弄个一清二楚，这也是没有必要的。确有误解怎么办？可找一两次机会表白一下，点到为止。即使上司没有为你平反，也完全用不着纠缠不休。这种斤斤计较的部下，是很不受上司赏识的。如果你的目的仅仅是为了不受批评，当然可以“寸土不让，寸理必争”。可是，一个把上级搞得筋疲力尽的人，又谈何晋级呢？
受到批评甚至是训斥，虽然会使你在感情上、自尊心上、在周围人们的心目中受到一定的影响，但是如果你处理得好，不仅会得到补偿，甚至会收到更有利的效果。相反，过于追求弄清是非曲直，反而会使人们感到你的心胸狭窄，经不起任何误解，那人们就只能对你戒备三分了。
上司批评下属的事情很正常，但是有的时候也有不正当的批评。面对这样的批评，你会怎样做呢？切记，第一，千万不要激怒上司；第二，千万不要过于忍让，以免上司变本加厉。
李小姐是一家公司的代办处资源主管，她的上司常常当着其他同事的面批评她，让她很难受。后来她约了一个时间，和上司私下谈，她直接对上司说：“你是主管，可以批评我的工作，但是请您不要说得让我觉得一无是处。”这位上司以后不仅不再当众指责她，反而因为她的态度坦诚而尊重她了。
有人可能会想，我哪里敢这样与上司说话啊！但是，根据心理学研究：一个人感到地位受到威胁，就可能拿出自卫的本事——否认、不同意、认为不公平。有时候作为下属会感到上司对自己的批评是没有道理的，可是为了自己的职位，表面上还是接受了。不过，随着批评的增多，上司与下属之间的抵触感会越来越大，这对双方都不利。
这种委屈求全不是好办法。事实上，大多数领导还是能听意见的，关键在于你的方式。
小王是一家投资银行的经理助理。经理平常只注意他的缺点，而且经常责骂、埋怨他。小王很不情愿地忍住怒气，但是自尊心受到了相当大的伤害，以至有点怀疑自己是否能力不够。他请教了一位老专家，得到了一个好办法。
小王问经理是否能在每周五早上抽出一点时间听他汇报一周来的工作。第一次汇报时，小王说：“我尽力要把份内的工作做好，可是您一再说我做得不对，我渐渐没有自信了。我希望以后您能在每周这个时候把我犯的错误都指明，并且指示我该怎样改进。有什么地方做得对了，也希望经理您告诉我。”
起初经理写了满满一张表，都是小王的错处，但是几次汇报之后，经理的态度慢慢变了。有一次他说：“我原来一直没注意，你的工作成绩是相当不错的。”又有一次，他说自己是犯了“求好心切”的毛病，因而对小王太苛刻了一点。
如果你很不幸，你的上级是一个爱鸡蛋里挑骨头或存心不良的人，这时该怎么办呢？
听见上司出言不逊，你要以平静的态度来回答，表示无论遇到什么样的困难，你都愿意为你的工作负责，说出你对这份工作的看法。你可以直接对上司说：“我不同意……”“依照我的判断……”“话虽如此，我却认为……”如果他的态度更加恶劣，强行打断你的话，你就说：“我觉得这件事很重要，所以希望能说清楚。可是这样吵法是讲不清的，我过一个小时再来。”一开始你会觉得这样做很难，但是你要以自己的感觉为考虑重点，不要去想他的反应，只要你能固守这个原则，化解他的恶劣态度是迟早的事。
假如领导对你暗中含有恶意，经常拿你来开玩笑、讽刺你，背后讲你的坏话，你可以想法子让他把这躲在暗处的行为带到明处，或设法终止他的恶劣行径。假如经理背着你和别的同事开玩笑地说你“贪小便宜”。你可以私下找到他，问他：“您开玩笑说我会贪小便宜，我不知道您是说着玩的还是当真的。您是说着玩的吗？”记住，你结尾的一句话，必须使对方非回答不可。如果他说：“我不是说着玩的。”最起码他是在“明处”表示态度了。如果他说，是开玩笑罢了，你可以保持平静地说，你不喜欢当着同事的面，被作为开这种玩笑的对象。无论如何，你已达到制止他鬼祟行为的目的了。对于这种有损尊严和无视事实的批评，一定要及早用语言表示反对，以免事态不可收拾。
领导委托你做某事时，你要善加考虑，这件事自己是否能胜任？是否不违背自己的良心？然后再做决定。如果只是为了一时的情面，即使是无法做到的事也接受下来，这种人的心似乎太软。你自觉实在是做不到的事，就应明确地表明态度，说：“对不起！我不能接受。”这才是真正有勇气的人。否则，你就会误大事。
领导所说的话有违道理，你可以断然地驳斥，这才是保护自己之道。假使领导欲强迫你接受无理的难题，这种领导便不可靠，你更不能接受。
尽管部下是隶属于领导，但部下也有他独立的人格，不能什么事不分善恶是非都服从。部下并不是奴隶。倘若你的领导以往曾帮过你很多忙，而今他要委托你做无理或不恰当的事，你更应该毅然地拒绝。
此外，限于能力，无论如何努力都做不到的事，也应拒绝。但是这有一个前提，即是否真的做不到，切不可因怀有恐惧心而不敢接受。
当然，拒绝更要讲究方法，采用什么办法才能让上司接受，这里面也是很有学问的。
当领导提出一件让你难以做到的事时，如果你直言答复做不到时，可能会让领导损失颜面。这时，你不妨说出一件与此类似的事情，让领导自觉问题的难度，而自动放弃这个要求。
当上司提出某种要求而属下又无法满足时，设法造成下属已尽全力的错觉，让上司自动放弃其要求，也是一种好方法。
比如，当上司提出不能满足的要求后，就可采取下列步骤先答复：“您的意见我懂了，请放心，我保证全力以赴去做。”
过几天，再汇报：“这几天因急事出差，等下星期回来，我再立即报告他。”又过几天，再告诉上司：“您的要求我已转告了，他答应在公司会议上认真地讨论。”尽管事情最后不了了之，但你也会给上司留下好感，因为你已造成“尽力而做”的假象，上司也就不会再怪罪你了。
通常情况下，人们对自己提出的要求，总是念念不忘。但如果长时间得不到回音，就会认为对方不重视自己的问题，反感、不满由此而生。相反，即使不能满足上司的要求，只要能做出些样子，对方就不会抱怨，甚至会对你心存感激，主动撤回已让你为难的要求。
例如，你被上司要求做某一件事时，其实很想拒绝，可是又说不出来，这时候，你不妨拜托其他两位同事，和你一起到上司那里去。这并非所谓的三人战术，而是依靠集团替你作掩护来说“不”。
首先，商量好谁是赞成的那一方，谁是反对的那一方，然后在上司面前争论。等到争论过一会儿后，你再出面轻轻地说：“原来如此，那可能太牵强了。”而靠向反对的那一方。
这样一来，你可以不必直接向上司说“不”，就能表明自己的态度。这种方法会给人“你们是经过激烈讨论后，绞尽脑汁才下结论”的印象，而包含上司在内的全体人士，都不会有哪一方受到伤害的感觉，从而上司会很自然地自动放弃对你的命令。