Chapter 7 Chapter 5 Pay attention to the scale when speaking

There must be a scale in speaking, and the scale is well grasped. A very ordinary sentence will add a little weight, and the words are few and precise, making people feel thoughtful.All in all, speak with moderation. Westerners have a saying, "honesty is the best policy" (honesty is the best policy).Honesty often serves a person's greater good than deceit, especially in the long run and overall good.Only by being honest in what you say and do, and never lying or deceiving others, can this person gain the respect of others and gain a foothold in society. The Confucian sage Confucius said when educating students, knowing what you know is knowing, and what you don’t know is not knowing.People are always prone to this kind of mistake. According to the Chinese saying, the train is running inside the mouth.When you say something, you can't tell the truth from the fake, it's cloudy.After a long time, people began to hate such a person, and took his words as lies.If so, it's really hard to move forward.Especially in the business world, a person's reputation means everything, without a good reputation it is difficult to achieve results.

We all heard the story of "Wolf is Coming" when we were young, and the educational significance of this story is self-evident.The ending of this story makes people shudder. Imagine if this cowherd boy knew the truth of "speaking honestly", he would not have killed himself in the end. To speak honestly is not only to say that the content of the speech must be true, or not to lie or deceive people, but also the tone of voice must be sincere, so that it can impress others and get twice the result with half the effort. It is the so-called "moving people with sincerity".

In short, although "morality" is a hard-to-approach concept, rigid and rigid, in real life we ​​inevitably have various relationships with morality.Professional ethics should be emphasized at work, public ethics should be emphasized in public places, and business ethics should be emphasized in business life.In short, all kinds of morality regulate our daily life.Human-to-human language communication—speaking also has its own moral principles. First of all, talk to people with sincerity and authenticity.The ancient prose movement in the Tang Dynasty advocated eradicating the pomp and pretense of the previous dynasties' style of writing, and advocated that the composition should have something to say and have true feelings.Although this is how the old master taught writing thousands of years ago, it is still suitable as a requirement for speech.Secondly, when talking with people, you must remember that you will lose your words if you talk too much, and you should be cautious.A joke can illustrate this point.The police greeted the 1,000th car passing through a newly opened tunnel, presented the driver with a lucky bonus of 1,000 yuan and a commemorative medal on behalf of the municipal government, and asked by the way: "What do you plan to do with the money? "First, I want to get a driver's license." The driver replied.His wife hurriedly explained: "Officer, my husband is always talking nonsense when he's drunk." His deaf mother added: "Look, I knew earlier, you won't be able to escape very far if you stole the car!" Although the story is extreme, the truth is undeniable.Third, it is necessary to unite words with deeds and pay attention to commitment.This is a fine tradition of our country. Only when words and deeds are united can we gain the trust of others.Finally, be reasonable and convincing.Only by focusing on logic in the speech and not going off the beaten path can others understand it.

The country we live in is a well-known state of etiquette, and paying attention to etiquette has always been a traditional virtue that Chinese people are proud of.And this admiration for etiquette is also reflected in talking with people. To participate in other people's conversations, you must first say hello, and when others are talking individually, don't sit in front of them; if you need to talk to someone, you can wait for others to finish talking; if someone takes the initiative to talk to yourself, you should be willing to talk; Inquiry; when a third party participates in the conversation, he should shake hands, nod or smile to welcome; if there is something urgent to leave during the conversation, he should greet the other party and express his apology.

If there are more than three people in the conversation, you should chat with everyone present from time to time, and don't just talk to some people about things that both parties know, while neglecting others.If it is inconvenient to let other people know about the issues discussed, you can make another appointment. In social situations, we should give others the opportunity to express their opinions. On the other hand, when others are speaking, we should also express our personal opinions in a timely manner.Regarding the inconvenient issues mentioned by the other party, you should not express your position lightly, and you can change the subject.Be good at listening to the other party's speech, don't interrupt easily, and don't ask questions that have nothing to do with the content of the conversation.When talking to each other, you should look at each other to show your concentration.When others are talking, don't look left and right, be absent-minded, or look away, look at your watch, etc. to make an impatient look, or make casual movements such as stretching and playing with things.

Use polite language in the conversation, such as "hello", "please", "sorry", "excuse me", "goodbye" and so on.When you meet, you usually say hello first, such as "How are you?" "How is it?" "Is everything going well?" Please say hello to the whole family" and so on. "Book of Changes Family" has a warning to later generations: "A gentleman has substance in his words, but he has perseverance in his actions." People will encounter such situations in their daily lives, whether they are listening to others giving lectures, leaders giving reports, or interacting with those around them. When people are chatting, there will always be times when there is nothing to say and empty and boring. The above talk is very lively, but the audience below feel sleepy and boring.The speech that the audience is most afraid of hearing is one that says nothing and misses the point.

Why is there a situation where there is nothing to say?The fundamental problem is that the talker, the speaker, did not understand the content of his speech well.I don't understand why I have to speak, how can I expect to give the audience a speech with substantial content and something to say?It is actually not difficult to solve this problem. To put it simply, it is necessary to fully and carefully prepare the content of your speech, and understand the problem thoroughly before giving a speech, so that you can make your speech meaningful and targeted. On one occasion, a member of the U.S. cabinet expressed his appreciation for President Wooshlo Wilson's brief speech and asked him how long it would take him to prepare."It depends," Wilson told him. "If I speak for 10 minutes, I'll have a week to prepare."

From this example, we can see how important it is to prepare in advance before speaking on important occasions. To avoid making a fool of yourself when speaking on important occasions, you must make full preparations in advance. Metaphor is a relatively common technique in speaking skills.It can make complex problems simple, abstract problems concrete, and boring problems vivid and interesting.We might as well read the following two stories carefully to see what benefits we can taste. When Chinese jurist Wang Chonghui was in London, he once attended a banquet in the diplomatic circles.During the banquet, a British lady asked Wang Chonghui: "I heard that men and women in your country rely on the words of the matchmaker, and the two parties form a husband and wife without love. How happy it is to get married after a deep understanding!"

Wang Chonghui replied with a smile: "It's like two pots of water. Ours is cold water, which gradually heats up on the stove, and then boils. Therefore, the relationship between Chinese couples is cold at first, and then gradually gets better. So there are very few divorce cases. And you are like a boiling pot of water, which gradually cools down after marriage. I heard that there are more divorce cases in the UK. Is this the reason?" Another story is that at the 48th annual meeting of the International PEN in New York, someone asked the famous Chinese writer Lu Wenfu what he thought of sex literature.

Lu Wenfu replied humorously: "When Western friends accept a box of gifts, they often open it in front of others. But Chinese people are just the opposite. They usually wait for the guests to leave before opening the box." Knowing laughter, followed by thunderous applause. The wonderful metaphor formed by using this kind of analogy that seems to be irrelevant to the noumenon can make the audience have a novel feeling, and it often adds a lot of color to our speech. We all have this experience: when we were young, we were always taught by our parents and teachers, and when we grow up, we have exchanges with friends, which are all heart-to-heart talks.Heart-to-heart talk is to open the hearts of both parties, promote mutual understanding through good communication, and make things develop in a good direction.So is not all people will talk about it?not necessarily.You may be able to talk for three or two hours without changing your face, but you may not be able to talk softly, and this method is sometimes more suitable for solving problems.

Below we discuss some principles of heart-to-heart talks.First, build rapport and create an atmosphere for conversation.Create a harmonious atmosphere, tell a joke, tell some happy things, and shorten the emotional distance, the effect will be much better, even if it is sensational, it will not hurt the elegance.Secondly, pay attention to the attitude of the conversation, be kind and natural, and eliminate the wariness of the other party.If the opposition is strong, you can adopt a "cold treatment" method to temporarily postpone the conversation, or "curve conversation" to start with another matter.In addition to kindness, we must pay attention to sincerity.Third, the conversation should be targeted and the goal should be clear, and the other party should not feel at a loss.Finally, pay attention to the choice of methods to enhance the effect of the conversation.A philosopher said: "There are no two identical leaves in the world." According to different conversation objects, different methods can be adopted, which can go directly to the topic or go roundabout. The core of these principles and methods is to have a clear understanding of the object of conversation, and to determine the method and content of communication from the point of view of the object of conversation. In addition, the speech should be pleasant to the ears.Because communication is always two-way, whether it is giving a speech in public or talking casually with others, in addition to the speaker (the speaker), there is also the object of the speech (the listener).For this reason, the speaker cannot say whatever he wants, but depends on the object, starting from the different characteristics of the object, and speaking different words, so as to create a harmonious and harmonious atmosphere and achieve the purpose of speaking. After Zhu Yuanzhang became emperor, one of his former bitter friends came to him from the countryside: "Long live my lord! Back then, my ministers accompanied me to sweep Luzhou's mansion and broke up the city of Guanzhou. Marshal Tang was on the run. Thanks to General Cai, the boy is in charge." Zhu Yuanzhang was very happy to hear what he said.Looking back, I also vaguely remembered that his words seemed to contain some past events, so I immediately made him a high official.Another bitter friend heard the news and went too.As soon as he met Zhu Yuanzhang, he said directly: "Long live my lord! Do you remember? In the past, you and I looked after cattle for others. One day, we put the stolen beans in the earthen pot in the Luhuadang. It's cooking. Before it's cooked, everyone rushes to eat it. The pots are broken, beans are scattered all over the ground, and the soup is all in the mud. You just grab the beans from the ground and eat them, but you don't care Even the red grass leaves are fed into the mouth. The leaves are stuck in the throat, so bitter that you can’t laugh or cry. It’s my idea to tell you to put the green vegetable leaves in your mouth and swallow them in one gulp, so that you can take the red grass leaves down your stomach It's already..." Zhu Yuanzhang thought he was too inconsiderate, so he couldn't wait to finish listening and shouted: "Push it out and kill it! Push it out and kill it!" Two people said the same thing, but because they spoke in different ways, they received completely different treatment.The same is true in the practice of people's social life.How to please your conversation partner is a very important principle. To please your conversation partner does not mean blindly following the other party, but just hoping to better achieve the purpose of communication. China is a country that pays attention to the mean, and strives to achieve everything just right, and neither excess nor deficiency is worth advocating.In real life, when interacting with others, the principle of being just right is also very important. Let’s briefly talk about it from several aspects: A successful conversation should be like a relay race. Everyone is a member of the collective relay. We should not only receive the baton well, but also deliver it well. When you are on the stage, you might as well cheer for it and cheer for it.If you turn a conversation into a monologue, no one will applaud you even though you are elated and dry, so those who can speak well should not play the role of "one-talker". This is a very normal phenomenon. If you immediately intervene or interrupt others' words when you hear the other party's different opinions, and want to impose your own views on others, you will definitely leave a narrow and extreme impression on people.The wise thing to do is to be generous and tolerant, not to blindly reject people whose views disagree with yours, you can persuade or be persuaded, you can compromise, or you can seek common ground while reserving differences.A wise man will surely lose something if he worries a lot; a fool will gain something if he worries a lot.Only by brainstorming and learning from each other's strengths can we gain wisdom and win the hearts of the people. If you are only keen on expressing yourself and belittle the performance of others, if you talk about everything about yourself and dismiss everything about others, you will inevitably create a bad impression of boasting and self-indulgence. From the above three narratives, we can see that proper attention has a great influence on speaking.If it is "one word", it will be called "talk basket", and it will even hinder the continued communication with others. In addition, the ancients said: If the mountain is not high, there will be immortals; if the water is not deep, there will be dragons.The same is true for talking, not too much, just click.In a modern society where the pace of life is tense and fast, no one is willing to spend a lot of time listening to your long speeches.This requires you to be concise and to the point when you talk. George is a California tycoon with assets of more than $1 billion.One year, he and his business partner David flew from California to a big city in China, planning to invest in building a factory and looking for partners.Three days later, George sat at the negotiating table with the leader of a large enterprise in our country.This leader is smart and capable, and understands the market conditions, which George admires quite a lot.After listening to the leader's grand vision for the joint venture, George felt as if he had seen the bright future of the joint venture.When he was about to sign the contract, he suddenly heard the leader talking proudly: "Our company has more than 2,000 employees, and last year it generated a total of more than 7 million yuan in profits and taxes. The strength is absolutely strong..." Hearing this, George secretly counted: 7 million yuan converted into US dollars is more than 900,000 yuan, and more than 2,000 people earn such a little money a year?Moreover, the leader is actually very proud and satisfied.This disappointed George very much. Was the gap too far from his predetermined profit target?It is difficult to have higher economic benefits and benefits if the leader is allowed to operate, so it was decided to immediately terminate the cooperation negotiation. Just imagine, if the leader hadn't said the last smug words, the negotiation might have ended in another ending.What the leader said at the end was superfluous, which not only exposed his own weaknesses, but also made foreign investors lose confidence in cooperation and eventually withdrew their investment intentions. We often see in life that some people are used to chattering and eloquent, but their words are incoherent and incoherent, which is annoying to listen to; There is no sense of proportion.This can easily lead to superfluous consequences.Therefore, we "should let the tongue turn ten circles in the mouth before speaking"."Turn away" the redundant nonsense, prepare some simple and clear words, and speak to the point as soon as you open your mouth, and don't ramble and don't know what to say. The best way to start a conversation with someone you just met or to talk to someone you don't know is to go from one topic to another, and if one topic doesn't work, try the next one.Or when it's your turn to talk, talk about things you've done or thought about, travel plans, or other topics you've talked about.Don't panic about a moment of silence, just let it pass.Conversation is not a race, a race to the finish line like a run. When you find yourself sitting next to a stranger at a party, it's a good idea to introduce yourself before you start "fishing" and start a conversation in a variety of ways.If you're a very shy person, you can have topics in your head before you go to the party.If someone has already told you something about him, you can say, "I know your team won the final last week, it must have been great." If you don't know anything about him, you can say, "You Is it a local, or a foreigner?" and so on, from his answer you can start the conversation.You can ask him where he lives, what occupation he does, etc.Very simple, pay attention to giving him the opportunity to speak. Another important (and immediate) opener is to ask for advice.It's safe to ask him about anything: politics, sports, the stock market, fashion and local news, but not topics that have already been asked or will be debated. The two methods introduced above to start a conversation with strangers are all about not avoiding the topic and learning to actively guide strangers.Only when one party takes the initiative can the communication continue. Of course, if you are a shy person, you must be brave. Maybe you have opened a door, and you will be greeted with a beautiful scenery. All you have to do is to open the door. It's just a door. The expression of posture is the exposure of your heart.For some people, every gesture will arouse people's resentment. Even if he utters the most conclusive facts, the listeners will discount what he said.There are many things that affect the effectiveness of communication because the speaker does not care about the details.The most appropriate attitude to talk to people is natural, easy-going, cordial and sincere. Most people stand in front of many people and speak, and they will show their sense of nervousness to varying degrees. Although a little stuttering will increase the audience's trust in you, but if it is too much, the situation will be very different.It is indeed not easy to speak naturally and fluently in front of a large audience. This is a test for everyone. There are many reasons for tension.In addition to the psychological factors mentioned above, it also includes some external factors.Taking the speaker as an example, the atmosphere and environment of the venue, the feeling and performance of the audience are all important factors that affect the speaker's mood.Sometimes a person's shyness or nervousness seems to be hard to get rid of, and it is also the biggest stumbling block in connecting with people. Faced with this situation, you must keep a clear head, and be clear that as a speaker, your personal appearance has a crucial influence on the audience. Don't force yourself into the mold you made to make yourself see Get up nervous.Once you're comfortable in a crowd, it's impossible to back down and express yourself in normal, everyday ways. There are many people who adjust their nervousness by breathing.Changing your vocalizations is just one way of relieving tension, and it takes a considerable amount of training.Sometimes there will be a sudden surge of tension, how to eliminate this sudden tension?This requires your ingenuity and resilience, that is, the ability to turn your nervousness into a kind of humor. As long as everyone can correctly understand themselves, face the situation clearly, add intelligence and self-deprecation, they will successfully achieve the purpose of communication. Do you think you are not good at expressing yourself?Please don't worry about it, it's normal, you are not slower than others, how can there be people in the world who are born with good eloquence?If so, he was either a genius or a pushy and thoughtless individual. All people were unable to speak freely in front of everyone at the beginning, but later, some people became famous eloquentists and orators, while others remained in place without any progress.Most of those successful people can calmly analyze their own shortcomings and know what to strengthen.Then, sincerely say what you have prepared, so that the listener will be moved and smile knowingly. Some superficial thoughts often become a stumbling block in expressing oneself.The real secret is to say to yourself before you go on stage, "I'm going to say it this way!" Once you've made up your mind, it's easy to say it.Many times we just need a little courage and a little determination, instead of standing there cowardly, not knowing where to go. When you come to a strange environment and meet a group of strange people, what attitude you use to face it is entirely up to you, so why not be full of courage and give it a go?What if you think about the worst outcome? Some people are very proud of their reasoning ability, are very good at using syllogism and dialectics in their conversation, and think that what they say is orderly and without flaws.However, he often criticizes others to the point of utter indifference, and his friends around him are often too afraid to be criticized.As a result, it is difficult for such a person to make friends. There are too many people in the world who love to speak the truth, and there are naturally many people with outstanding eloquence among them.Clear articulation and eloquent eloquence can indeed make people feel heroic.Actually, it's just a feeling, not a concrete fact.It is a common phenomenon of modern people to comment on everything, and it is not a bad thing, but this is just my own impression, and it cannot be called complete insight and knowledge. Most of this kind of people like to show off with their smattering of knowledge, but they are "half buckets of water" love to show off. Most eloquent people like to show off this kind of technology. Want to bring down each other, this will only destroy each other's friendship. The ancient sages and sages taught us to "be humble" and warned us that "fullness suffers losses, but humility benefits".We must listen to different opinions with an open mind and listen to the advice of true friends.You can also put forward your own opinions for their reference on the premise of fully respecting the other person's personality. Don't try to be a teacher when things happen, and make others at a loss. Excessive modesty, however, creates another kind of self-expression, that is, excessive modesty can have the same effect as arrogance.In some cases, being overly modest can come across as insincere.Therefore, sometimes when speaking, you must ensure that you have enough confidence. If you can talk to anyone for ten minutes straight and get the other person interested, you're a pretty good communicator.Because the scope of "anyone" is very broad, he may be an engineer, a jurist, or a teacher, or an artist, or a stone-breaking worker.In short, regardless of the three religions, nine streams, people of all walks of life, if you can talk to him for ten minutes to keep him interested, it is really not easy.However, no matter how difficult it is, we must always try to get through this difficulty. Many people are relatively silent because they don't know each other. This is very painful.In fact, if you make a little effort, this kind of unfortunate situation can be reduced, and it is not difficult to be a good communicator. "If a worker wants to do a good job, he must first sharpen his tools", although this is an old saying, it is still applicable until now, first of all, you must enrich your own knowledge. Of course, one cannot hope that an illiterate person can cope with it freely.Knowledge is a sharp weapon, with this sharp weapon, everything can be easily solved.Although you cannot do superb research on all kinds of specialized knowledge, common sense is a must.With general common sense, used skillfully, it is not difficult to have a lively ten-minute conversation with anyone.You need to read more books and newspapers to learn about trends in the world, domestic construction, new inventions and discoveries in the scientific world, local characteristics or characteristics of people around the world, as well as new works of art, fashionable clothing, contents of movies and dramas, etc. , which can be seen in daily newspapers and monthly magazines.If you can do this and use it flexibly, you will be able to deal with all kinds of characters with ease. Speaking can not only show a person's inner image, but also reflect a person's inner cultivation. Those who stutter and speak without any sense of rhythm can seldom move us, and such people can hardly say anything worthy of our attention.Only those who know the rhythm of speaking and have clear thinking can have active thinking. The highest state of mastering the rhythm is to speak naturally and fluently. Of course, appropriate pauses are not disfluency, because we often use pauses to develop new ideas, or to transition from one point to another, or to repeat a word in order to leave a deeper impression on the audience. The number of stumbles can be counted, and it's a fun way to get through listening to those annoying speeches.Stumbles on mostly tasteless speech.In your own speech, it is of great practical value to ask others to count the number of times you have stumbled. Few people can speak impromptu without stumbling.We found a maximum of 30 per minute, and many professors had as many as 20. So, how do you improve your speaking fluency? First, you should be familiar with the subject of your speech.When there is no hesitation in our thinking, what we want to say automatically comes to our lips.Good preparation increases fluency because it increases your self-confidence, which in turn makes you more convinced of what you have to say.In addition, familiarity with the subject will make the speaker more passionate, and this passion will make the speaker's whole body and mind into the realm of his speech.In this way, fluency will not be a problem. Second, the pronunciation should be accurate.Slurred pronunciation is a sign of hesitation in speaking.If the speaker hesitates several times in a row, it will make people feel that he does not really know what he is talking about, but is trying to find out what is wrong in his head, and the result is even more fluent.So if we put some conscious effort into fluency, we will get good results; but if we work on other aspects of speaking, thinking that fluency will come naturally in time, we will be disappointed. Again, be enthusiastic.We noticed that when people were excited, their voices became higher and faster, and the speech seemed to be more fluent at this time.So, when speaking, contagiously contagious with your enthusiasm and speak loudly.You have to speak especially loudly if your emotions have been disturbed, if you stand trembling with fear in front of an audience. Finally, speaking quickly can also improve fluency.Your mind functions faster when you speak quickly, just like reading, if you can concentrate on reading quickly, you can read two books in the time you spend reading one. book and gain a better understanding.Grasp the rhythm of speaking so that the speech is as tense as the strings and flows slowly like flowing water.In this regard, we should actively learn. In our daily speech, as long as we pay attention to and use the intonation changes, even the abstract and boring content can be eloquent and attractive, and firmly attract the audience; Lively and interesting content can also be monotonous and dull, making the audience drowsy.This requires us to master the skills of controlling intonation so that we can express our thoughts and feelings vividly and enhance the effect of speaking. Pauses and connections in speech serve to express the meaning and level of sentences, thoughts and emotions, and are not completely restricted by punctuation marks.Where there is no punctuation, sometimes you need to pause; where there is punctuation, sometimes you need to connect.This should be borne in mind, but not rote. Pauses and connections play an important role in expressing expressions in speech. The main significance lies in the following six points: (1) Make sure the meaning is clear and clear, so that the listener will not be misunderstood; (2) Emphasize the key points and deepen the impression; (3) Parallel division and combination to make the content complete; (4) Cause a turning point and echo; (5) reflect thinking and judgment, and provide basis and time for the audience to comprehend; (6) Create artistic conception, which is evocative and imaginative. Stress can be divided into grammatical stress and emphatic stress.Grammatical stress shows the grammatical structure of a sentence, and its position is relatively fixed and has certain rules.Emphatic stress can be divided into logical stress and emotional stress.Emotional stress emphasizes a special emotion, such as the stress used to express emotions, likes and dislikes.Logical stress is a keyword sentence that can highlight the purpose of the sentence, reflect the logical relationship, and tinge the emotional color. Its specific manifestations are more complicated and should be distinguished and grasped according to the content.Stress needs to exist in a non-stress environment and be highlighted in an appropriate way. The two must be organically connected and transitioned to achieve harmony and unity. When expressing, the accent is generally accented, but you can also choose the corresponding voice changes to highlight the accent according to different speech environments, such as suppressing breath, expressing in a soft or low voice, expressing in a short and powerful voice, and expressing in a protracted voice etc., can display stress and achieve speech purposes. In verbal confrontation, sometimes you can use the stress technique to get rid of the trap designed by the opponent, gain a favorable position, and at the same time put the opponent in an embarrassing situation.For example: One day, Lincoln was cleaning his boots with his head down. A foreign diplomat saw him and said mockingly, "Hey, Mr. President, do you often clean your boots?" "Yes," replied Lincoln, "whose boots are you polishing?" Lincoln shifted the accent of the other party's speech with one sentence, and saved himself from being ridiculed, but trapped the other party in embarrassment. Speed ​​refers to the change in speed of speaking.Here, fast and slow are relative terms. The speed of speaking is related to the purpose of communication, the content of expression, the atmosphere of the environment, and the state of mind.Generally speaking, when explaining and narrating, the speaking speed is slightly faster; when expressing emotions, the speaking speed is slightly slower.When tense and enthusiastic, the speaking speed is slightly faster; in a quiet, solemn or dreary atmosphere, the speaking speed is slightly slower.When you are excited, you speak faster; when you are calm or sad, you speak slower.The speed of speaking is also related to the age, identity and personality of the characters.Generally speaking, young people speak faster, while older people speak relatively slowly; people with lower status or ordinary status speak faster, while those with higher positions or prominent status speak slower; lively, cheerful, witty and brave Or reckless, impatient, cunning and treacherous people speak faster, simple and honest, calm or slow people speak slowly. Speech speed change is an important means of expression expression.Fast speed will make people feel rushed and tense; slow speed will make people feel at ease and calm.Appropriately using the change of speech speed combined with other speech skills can render the scene, heighten the atmosphere, enhance the rhythm and momentum of speech, and produce great artistic appeal. When a person speaks, the vocal cords are tensed and the voice is raised; when the vocal cords are relaxed, the voice is lowered.This high and low intonation change is the ups and downs.When a person speaks, the level of the same sentence changes differently, and the thoughts, feelings and contents expressed are also different.Try to understand the different emotions and contents of the sentence "I'm afraid of you" due to the different heights and heights. The rise and fall of intonation runs through the entire sentence, but is most obvious at the end of the sentence.It can be divided into four types: high rising, falling, straight and winding. The voice momentum of high-rising sentences gradually changes from low to high.It generally expresses surprise, question, rhetorical question, call, appeal, etc.For example: (1) When winter comes, can spring be far behind? ↑ table rhetorical question. (2) We must improve the economy. ↑ Form appeal. The voice momentum of the falling intonation sentence is high first and then low, and gradually decreases, and the sentence ends low and short.It generally expresses affirmation, entreaty, exclamation, self-confidence, permission, wish, etc.For example: (1) I believe we will succeed. ↓ means affirmation and self-confidence. (2) Look, what a beautiful rainbow? ↓ stands for admiration. Straight adjustment The speech of the sentence is smooth and soothing, with no obvious ups and downs.It is generally used to narrate, explain, explain, express solemnity, seriousness, indifference, hesitation, mourning, etc.For example: (1) He is a very nice person, kind-hearted and helpful. → table description. (2) A match can destroy the whole forest. → The expression is serious. Zigzag tone The whole sentence changes in zigzags, or rises first and then falls, or falls first and then rises, and the ending sound of the sentence is especially aggravated, protracted and twists and turns.Generally used to express exaggeration, irony, humor, mockery, etc.For example: (1) He is very good, so good that even lying is forgiven.table mocking. (2) You are a human being, a human being out of vulgar taste.Table sarcasm. The ancients said: "Words are the voice of the heart." The quality of speech mainly depends on the speaker's ideological level, cultural accomplishment, and moral sentiment, but paying attention to the art of language is also very important.The same thought, spoken from different people, often has different effects. Good conversation can help a person succeed, but bad conversation can hinder one's life.In daily life, the people around us are always diverse, some are eloquent, some are ignorant and incomprehensible, some are eloquent, some are dry and indifferent, and some are sharp-tongued... People's eloquence is different. The difference in size, the effect of speaking is also very different.Therefore, if you want to become a master in speaking and reach the realm of "what song to sing on what mountain", you must grasp the mystery. 一个人的话能否被别人所接受，取决于他的可信度，而要提高可信度，不仅在形象上要做到衣饰恰当、举止大方、谈吐自然得体、眼神专注、表情沉稳等，还要会观察对方。 不同的人接受他人意见的方式和敏感度都是不同的。一般来说，文化水平较高的人，不屑听肤浅、通俗的话，对他们应多用抽象的推理；文化层次较低的人，听不懂高深的理论，对他们应多举明显的事例；对于刚愎自用的人，不宜循循善诱，可以激他；对于喜欢夸大的人，不必表里如一，不妨诱导；对于生性沉默的人，要多挑动他发火；对于脾气急躁的人，用语要简明快捷；对于思想顽固的人，要看准他的兴趣点，进行转化；对于情绪不正常的人，要让他恢复正常后再谈。如此等等，只有知己知彼，才能对症下药，收到最好的说话效果。 古语说：“凡事预则立，不预则废。”所以说话前，你有必要对下列问题仔细地考虑：你要对谁讲，将要讲什么，为什么要讲这些内容，怎么讲法，有什么有利因素和不利因素，怎样处理等。 如果一个人的脸上长有疤痕，可以从镜中窥见，可以使用化妆品或药品加以治疗弥补。同样，谈吐方面的缺陷也可以改变，只要治疗之前，自己能够清醒地认识到自己的这些缺陷。如果不清楚自己说话的缺陷，也可以试着拿一面镜子对照自己说话的姿态：是否手势过多，是否翘起嘴角，是否表情难看，是否过于冷漠、紧张、僵硬，是否强抑声调…… 以下几点是我们说话中常有的缺陷，我们可以对照检查，并加以改正。 用鼻音说话是一种常见且影响极坏的缺点，当你使用鼻腔说话时，就会发出鼻音。如果你用大拇指和食指捏住鼻子，你所发出的声音就是一种鼻音。如果你说话时嘴巴张得不够，声音也会从鼻腔而出。在电影里，鼻音是一种表演技巧，如果演员扮演的是一种喜欢抱怨、脾气不好的角色，他们往往爱用鼻音说话。如果你使用鼻音说话，鼻音对于女人的伤害比对男人更大，你不可能见到一位不断发出鼻音，却显得迷人的女子。如果你期望自己在他人面前具有极大的说服力，或者令人心荡神移，那么你最好不要使用鼻音，而应使用胸腔发音。正确的方法是，平时说话时，上下齿之间最好保持半寸的距离。 一个人受到惊吓或大发脾气时，往往会提高嗓门，发出刺耳的尖叫。一般女性犯此错误居多，要多加注意。因为尖锐的声音比沉重的鼻音更加难听。你可以用镜子检查自己有无这一缺点：脖子是否感到紧张？血管和肌肉是否像绳索一样凸出？下颚附近的肌肉是否看起来明显紧张？如果出现上述情形，你可能会发出刺耳的尖声。这时你就要当机立断，尽快让自己松弛下来，同时压低自己的嗓门。 一般来讲，说话的速度很难掌握，即使是一些职业演说家或政治家，有时也不容易把握好自己说话的速度。说话太快，别人就听不懂你在说些什么，而且听得喘不过气来。说话太慢，人们就会根本不听你说，因为他们缺乏一种耐心。据专家研究，适当的说话速度为每分钟120～160个字之间，当我们朗读时，其速度要比说话快。而且说话的速度不宜固定，你的思想、情绪和说话的内容会影响你表达的快慢。说话中把握适度的停顿和速度变化，会给你的讲话增添丰富的效果。 为了测量自己说话的速度，你可以按照正常说话的速度念上一段演讲词，然后用秒表测出自己朗读的时间。如果你说话的速度每分钟不到上面那个标准，就可以试着调整说话速度，看是否会收到良好的效果。 日常生活中，人们听到这样的口头禅，如“那个”“你知道不”“是不是”“对不对”“嗯”等。如果一个人在说话中反复不断地使用这些词语，一定会损失自己说话的形象。口头禅的种类繁多，即使是一些伟大的政治家在电视访谈中也会出现这种毛病。 当然谈话中“啊”“呃”等声音过多，也是一种口头禅的表现，著名演说家奥利佛·霍姆斯说：“切勿在谈话中散布那些可怕的'呃'音。”如果你有录音机，不妨将自己打电话时的声音录下来，听听自己是否有这一毛病。一旦弄清了自己的毛病，那么以后在与人讲话的过程中就要时时提醒自己注意这一点。 下面介绍几种克服口头禅的方法以供参考： 默讲。出现口头禅的原因之一，是对所讲的内容不熟悉，讲了上句，忘了下句，此时就要用口头禅来获得一点思考的时间，以便想起下句话。事前默讲几遍，对内容、措辞十分熟悉，正式讲话时就能减少或不出现口头禅了。 朗读。克服口头禅的朗读法，就是将自己的口语，从不清楚变为清楚、流利的语言。如果内部语言流畅贯通，就不会出现口头禅。出声朗读老舍、叶圣陶等语言大师的作品，有助于用规范的语言来改善自己不规范的语言。 耳听。广播员、演员的语言，一般都较为规范，没有口头禅。平时听广播、看电影时，可边听边轻声跟着说。久而久之，你会惊喜地发现：自己的口语精练了，口头禅少了，连普通话水平也提高了。 练习。听听自己的讲话录音，会对自己讲话中的口头禅深恶痛绝。这样，往往能使自己讲话时十分警惕，口头禅也会随之变少。 慢语。在一段时间内，尽量讲慢些，养成从容不迫地思维和说话的习惯，一句句想，一句句说，对克服口头禅有很好的效果。 讲粗话是说话的恶习。俗话说，习惯成自然。随便什么事情，只要成了习惯，就会自然地发生。讲粗话也是如此，一个人一旦养成了讲粗话的习惯，往往是出口不雅，自己还意识不到。讲粗话是一种坏习惯，是极不文明的表现，但要克服这种习惯也并不是一件易事。比较有效的办法是，找出自己出现频率最高的粗话，集中力量首先改掉它。首先是改变讲话频率，每句话末停顿一下；其次讲话前提醒自己，改变原有的条件反射。出现频率最高的粗话改掉了，其他粗话的克服也就不难了。 请别人督促也很重要。当然，这里的“别人”最好是了解自己的人，这样督促起来可以直截了当。由于有时自己讲了粗话还不知道，请别人督促就能起到提醒、检查的作用。督促还有另一层心理意义，那就是造成一种不利于原有条件反射自然发生的外界环境，以促进旧习惯的终止。 “结巴”是口吃的通称。 “结巴”对于极个别的人来说是一种习惯性的语言缺陷，是一种病态反应，他们也被称为口吃患者。口吃就是说话时字音重复或词句中断的现象，要想治愈说话“结巴”的毛病，除药物治疗外，更重要的是去除心理障碍。日本前首相田中角荣少年时代就是口吃患者，为了克服这个缺陷，他常常朗诵课文，为了发音准确，就对着镜子纠正嘴形，后来他成了一个著名的政治家、演说家。有口吃的人不妨试一试这个方法，坚持朗读文章，只要坚持不懈并保持良好的心态，相信一定会产生好的效果。 毛手毛脚，意即说话时动作过于频繁。可以检查一下自己，是否在说话时不断出现以下动作：坐立不安、蹙眉、扬眉、歪嘴、拉耳朵、摸下巴、搔头皮、转动铅笔、拉领带、弄指头、摇腿等。这都是一些影响你说话效果的不良因素。当你说话时，动作过于频繁，听者就会被你的这些动作所吸引，根本不可能认真听你讲话。