Chapter 6 Chapter 4 Mental Preparation for Speaking

In a sense, if a person can speak, his psychological quality is generally better than that of ordinary people, and a good psychological quality is not born, it needs to be exercised and cultivated the day after tomorrow. In terms of eloquence quality and needs, the training and cultivation of eloquence's psychological quality includes many factors. We select the most important ones and introduce the following three aspects: A weak speaker, when he encounters a failure in a speech, will be devastated, forming an inferiority complex and depression, which is very detrimental to speech.In fact, the favorable and unfavorable conditions in the speech should be viewed dialectically and analyzed in detail.

Some speakers are often uneasy about their appearance, clothing, age, and gender; some speakers are ashamed of their profession as "not noble"; Some speakers feel anxious and fearful because of the cultural upbringing, theoretical quality, and low or high level of appreciation of the audience; In fact, some unfavorable factors can be turned into favorable factors as long as the speaker can treat them correctly and find ways to improve them, so there is no need to take the problem too seriously.Especially the unfavorable conditions caused by some objective factors, even if they cause some interference to the speech, the audience can understand it. The speaker can completely let go of the burden of thinking and devote himself to the actual speech. play.

Speech and Eloquence magazine once published such an article: A college girl once received a call from a classmate asking if she would like to be a "tutor".She was very surprised, thinking it was a fantasy, and asked suspiciously: "Can I do it?" The classmate said: "Can I do it, why don't you try it?" Tutoring, learning has improved significantly, and soon took part in the "high school-university" integration test, the result was successful in the first test, and successfully entered the re-examination.The parents of the junior high school students were very happy, and said to their daughter: "Thanks to this little teacher, I will never forget your first teacher." This junior college girl was pleasantly surprised to find that her tutor ability.I found my self-confidence and my courage doubled. After graduation, I also planned to go to the South by myself without any assignments.If you give up practice and dare not to experiment, you will not find the cornerstone and fulcrum of self-confidence; seize the opportunity and devote yourself to practice, and you will not only find self-confidence, but also the starting line of your life.

Because only when the mind is calm, people can quickly identify and suppress the relevant factors that cause negative psychology, and at the same time identify and stimulate the relevant factors that cause negative psychology. For example, if a speaker wants to suppress panic and dissatisfaction when the audience is unwilling to listen or criticize in a social situation, the only way to find out whether the real reason is on the audience's side or on his own side is through calm analysis. What is the specific reason.If you don't have a calm mind and don't know how to control yourself, you won't be able to find the problem, and the situation will get out of control.Therefore, no matter what happens in oral communication, the first thing you need is to be calm and calm.

When British Prime Minister Wilson gave a speech at a mass meeting, the opponents clamored from below, and one of them cursed loudly: "Shit, rubbish!" Facing the possible misunderstanding and commotion of the audience, Prime Minister Wilson calmly responded with a generous smile , raised his hands very seriously in agreement, and said: "That's a good gentleman, we will discuss the mess you are particularly interested in in a moment." applause. Mencius, an ancient thinker, said: "Heaven will send a great mission to the people. They must first suffer from their minds and wills, exhaust their muscles and bones, starve their bodies and skins, empty their bodies, and disturb their actions. impossible."

Su Shi, a great writer in the Song Dynasty, also said: "The so-called heroes in ancient times must have the festival of surpassing others, and there are some people who can't bear it. When a man sees humiliation, he draws his sword and stands up to fight. This is not brave enough. There are people who are not brave. When it comes suddenly without being surprised, without reason and without anger; this is what it holds great, but its ambition is far away." These ancient teachings still have strong reference significance for people today to train their will and strong character.

The key to cultivating the spirit of self-improvement is to treat failure correctly.A failure is a bitter wine in life, but not a complete failure in life.It is inevitable that a person will fail. As long as he is not willing to fail, not discouraged, analyzes the reasons with a positive attitude, learns lessons, and perseveres in speaking, he will move from failure to success. The French thinker Montaigne said: "The bravest man is sometimes the most unfortunate man. Hence the triumphant defeat that proudly counters victory." Dale Carnegie said: "A person must be good at cultivating success from failure. Obstacles and failures are the two most reliable stepping stones to success. If you are willing to study them and use them, no other factor can Work on a person. And look back, don't you see that failure helped you there?" He also said: "It is failure that makes bones hard; it is failure that turns cartilage into muscle; it is failure that makes people invincible." These words are very inspiring for people to cultivate their self-improvement psychology.

People have different levels of public speaking level and different types of mental states, and they have different performances when speaking.The main psychological types are as follows: The impulsive type refers to a state of mind that does not care about the consequences, acts rashly, has strong emotions, and lacks rationality.People of this type are often in a state of high emotional excitement, like an open gas stove, which will ignite when it encounters sparks.Its manifestations are that they are not calm enough when encountering problems, easily get angry, eager to express their opinions, like to speak well, and make decisions easily.Most of the speeches are blurted out, without carefulness, strategy, and consequences.Either choke the listener so that they are embarrassed and unable to communicate with him;

However, this kind of heart is magnanimous, without any cover or hindrance.Just like beans in a bamboo tube, pour them out with a snap, and when the pouring is over, he will be fine and calm, and often there is no stage fright, and he often talks endlessly when he is interested. There are many such heroes in Liangshan, such as Lu Zhishen, Li Kui, Ruan Xiaoqi and so on.Li Kui and Yan Qing went out and stayed in a manor house. Hearing that the owner of the manor said that Song Jiang had robbed his daughter, he immediately yelled at Yan Qing: "Brother Yi, come and listen to what this old man said. My brother was duplicity, no Good man!" Yan Qing persuaded him: "Brother, don't make any mistakes, it will definitely be fine!" Li Kui said: "He went to Li Shishi's house in Tokyo, and I'm afraid he won't do it here." Then he ignored the persuasion and ran away. Returning to Liangshan, he chopped down the apricot-yellow flag that "walked the way for the sky", pointed at Song Jiang and cursed: "I usually treat you like a man, but you turned out to be a beast! You did such a good thing!" After the fact was clarified, it turned out that A robber pretended to be Song Jiang's name, and he woke up and admitted his mistake.His psychological quality not only does not affect his status in the hearts of readers, but makes people know him more honestly, frankly, and more lovely.But when speaking in public, people of this type need to control their emotions and think twice before acting, so as not to not only fail to achieve the effect of expression, but also make themselves flirtatious.

Rational type is a manifestation of the ability to control behavior intellectually.This kind of person is emotionally restrained, not easy to express, and good at controlling emotions.Don't rush or rush when encountering problems, and deal with them calmly; don't easily express affirmative or negative statements; words are often spoken after careful consideration, and are more thoughtful and strategic.This kind of rhetoric is easy for the listener to accept; even if it is unacceptable, it will not cause great conflict.However, this kind of person sometimes misses things at critical moments when a decisive decision is needed.Some opportunities are fleeting, never to be missed, never to come again, and when you think about it, it will be too late.Moreover, if it is too rational, it will make people feel hypocritical and deep, and it will not be able to gain the psychological approval of the audience.

Compared with Xiang Yu, his opponent Liu Bang is rational.Qin Shihuang went on a tour, and Liu Bang also saw it, but he only sighed quietly and said: "Wow, a man should be like this!" In the original intention, he and Xiang Yu are the same, they both want to be emperor.But he didn't rush out like Xiang Yu, who was about to seize the throne, but just admired in a low voice, even if others heard it, it didn't matter.When he stationed troops on the ridge, he clearly wanted to attack key points and compete with Xiang Yu, but at the Hongmen Banquet, which was not conducive to him, he bowed his head and said to Xiang Yu: "The minister and the general will fight Qin with all their strength. The general will fight in Hebei, and the minister will fight in Henan. Otherwise I thought that if I could enter the pass first and defeat Qin, I would see the general here again. Now there is a villain's words, which will make the general and the ministers disagree." Not only won Xiang Yu's trust, but also induced Xiang Yu to tell the informer.Later Liu Bang and Xiang Yu fought against each other. When Xiang Yu pushed his father to be killed and forced him to retreat, he actually said: "I and Xiang Yu were ordered to face King Huai, saying 'about brothers'. My old man is Ruo Weng If you want to cook, but you are old, you will be lucky to share a piece of my pie." After he killed Xiang Yu, the group asked him to be honored as emperor by the king of Han. Shou Ye, I dare not be the emperor." After three concessions, he had to resign himself to it. For the speaker, the rational mind is superior to the impulsive mind.As long as you can show decisive courage and express your inner feelings properly in an emergency, you will be welcomed by the audience, which is very beneficial for public speaking. The dominant type refers to that the speaker occupies a high position in the process of public speech by virtue of his superior conditions in terms of position and ability.For example, you are a leader, expert, professor, or celebrity, and the audience is just ordinary people; or you are a representative of a big country or a powerful group, while the other party represents a small country or a weak organization. When such people speak in public, they often make some unusually high-profile remarks, either intentionally or unintentionally.If it is intentional, he will set himself high and look like no one else; if it is unintentional, but because of his special status, he will also generate a kind of pressure from top to bottom in the ears of the listener.This is a one-way communication, the listener has no way to understand it, and has to let you talk.If it is a two-way conversation, although the other party has the responsibility to answer, they will appear cautious.To a certain extent, it will affect the effect of communication between the two parties. There are two different manifestations of dominant people: one is self-important, conceited and stubborn, and you listen to what I say.The other is perfunctory, indifferent, you can listen or not. Shen Jianhong recorded such an incident in his "Eight Years of Envoy to the United States": When Shen was serving as Chiang Kai-shek's English secretary and translator, Chiang once hosted a banquet for visiting foreign guests, and invited Dong Xianguang, an English teacher in middle school, to accompany him.During the dinner, the foreign guests asked Jiang if he had ever learned English. Jiang said: "I have, but the teacher is not good, so I didn't learn much." The foreign guests asked: "Who is your teacher?" Dong Xianguang said: "This is my teacher." Dong Xianguang was extremely embarrassed, and he looked restless throughout the banquet, as if he was sitting on pins and needles.With his high position as president, Chiang Kai-shek is domineering and completely disregards the traditional Chinese virtue of respecting teachers. This is a typical manifestation of the dominant type. Shen Jianhong has another comparative evidence for this psychological state: When Chiang Kai-shek talked with the visiting Jordanian King Hussein, "Jiang Gong is like a father, and Hussein is a respectful nephew."And "Jiang Gong is always very kind and polite when he talks with the American ambassador. He always listens to the other party's conversation and answers questions very politely."Although Hussein is the king, but because the country is small, poor and weak, Chiang Kai-shek is relatively high-ranking.The United States is the most powerful country in the world. Although it has only one ambassador, Chiang Kai-shek cannot be ranked high. For public speakers, the dominant psychological type is undesirable. If you don’t put yourself in an equal position with the audience, or improve your personal quality and self-cultivation, it will be harmful to public speaking. Comprehensive type This is a comprehensive mental state that has neither unnecessary impulse nor intentional restraint, is high but not arrogant, and low but not inferior.His words are neither humble nor overbearing, and impartial, which makes people listen to the spring breeze and drink the rain. People with this mental state are bound to be welcomed by the audience when they speak in public.Even if on a certain occasion, a certain time will make people unhappy and temporarily affect the communication effect, but after a long time, most of the unhappy people will wake up, and they will naturally think that this kind of person is better. Academician Jiang Xinsong, the director of the Shenyang Institute of Automation of the Chinese Academy of Sciences and the "father of Chinese robots", who dedicated himself to the cause of science in our country, is a typical example of this mental state.After his death, reporters from "People's Daily" and "China Science Daily" made such reports: As a superior, he will treat you as an equal and cooperate with you in a friendly manner.His old colleague said: "Xin Song's style is democratic and never arbitrary. When you have different opinions and disputes, you can even slap the table with him and throw hats. Outsiders can't figure out who is the leader at this time; but after the rain, he Never hold grudges against others. If you stick to your right opinion, he appreciates your strength." As a subordinate, he dared to tell the truth and dare to act.An 863 project needs to be adjusted, but the leading comrades are hesitant.Jiang Xinsong criticized at the meeting: "On this issue, you, Director Zhu, should be responsible." Professor Zhu Lilan, who was then the executive deputy director of the State Science and Technology Commission, still sighed very much when talking about this matter today: "Jiang Xinsong is a handsome science and technology. I also argue. I think he is very charismatic and candid. To a certain extent, he helped me make up my mind. I am very grateful to him. I think every time I talk to him is very enlightening. During the process of arguing, come to a conclusion." The relationship between speaking level and psychological quality is self-evident. People with high psychological quality generally have a higher level of speaking in public than ordinary people, but usually, the psychological quality is not in the normal state, and most of them can be adjusted. High and low are closely related to their personal subjective wishes and requirements.Generally, there are several different psychological adjustment bases: Initiative refers to the psychology of having a clear purpose of sending words in public speaking activities, fully understanding the meaning of the conversation, and making one's own expressive behavior subject to the purpose of the speech. This kind of psychology is a reflection of the speaker's thoughts, and should run through the public speech from beginning to end, generating the desire to speak and even guiding people's behavior.For example, if you are a soldier, a leader, a party member, or a conscientious citizen, when words and deeds that seriously damage the interests of the country and the people suddenly happen around you, you will be driven by a strong sense of responsibility to stand up and stop them, even if they May have adverse effects.Like Xu Honggang, a soldier of the People's Liberation Army who bravely stood up on a long-distance bus to stop the gangsters from committing violence, this is the case. At the meeting of the Political Bureau of the Central Committee of the Communist Party of China on September 29, 1976, Jiang Qing suddenly launched an attack and asked Mao Yuanxin to participate in the compilation of Mao Zedong's manuscripts. The chairman’s thoughts and instructions are the deepest understanding. But there are people who object! He also said a lot of things that shouldn’t be said!” Wang Hongwen then provoked with ulterior motives: “Do you know who it is?” Ye Jianying slapped her chest and said loudly : "It's me! It's me Ye Jianying!" He gave Jiang, Wang and others a hard look: "I have followed Chairman Mao for almost 50 years, and there are comrades who are older than me in the Central Committee, and they are all loyal to Chairman Mao. Geng Geng, the understanding of Mao Zedong Thought is also very deep and broad. Isn’t it suitable for them to sort out Chairman Mao’s manuscripts and archives?” Originally, Ye Jianying didn’t want to speak.Unexpectedly, Jiang Qing and Wang Hongwen were so rampant and aggressive. A sense of responsibility, obligation, and mission made him take the initiative to expose the ugly face of the "Gang of Four". Perseverance means that the speaker can stick to his own point of view in the process of speaking in public, and will not be influenced by external forces in any case. Under this kind of psychological dominance, if you want to fully maintain the position you express, you need to eliminate the interference of various factors, let you fly through the chaotic clouds, and I will stand still and not change my original intention. Grit is not stubbornness.Stubbornness is knowing that what you say is untenable but insisting on it, and rejecting different opinions, no matter whether they are reasonable or not.Perseverance is a deep belief that what one says is correct, and others just cannot accept and agree with it for a while.I may not be able to fully prove it for a while, but future practice will prove my correctness. In the above example, when Ye Jianying disagreed with Mao Yuanxin staying in the central government, Zhang Chunqiao actually threatened: "Some comrades have forgotten the lessons of the Cultural Revolution! Now there are many statements made by Comrade Ye Jianying in various departments. I advise you to pay attention to it." It’s over!” Unexpectedly, Ye Jianying was unmoved, and stood up loudly: “Joke! Another big joke! Mao Yuanxin is not even a member of the Central Committee. Yes, is there no one left in our Central Committee? I advise you comrades who want to do good things, don’t be in a hurry, okay? Wait for us old guys to die, and you go again, we are not dead yet!" Zhang Chunqiao tried to divert his attention , reversed the direction, but Ye Jianying's heart was like a mirror, and he never let go.In the end, Mao Yuanxin returned to Liaoning in despair. Courageousness refers to the process of speaking and communication. When encountering issues that require prompt decision-making and distinguishing between right and wrong, one needs to boldly announce it with appropriate words without neglect. This kind of mentality must be decisive and resolute, and it is impossible to allow the speaker to think comprehensively, repeatedly, and seriously.The moment of death is imminent, and it must be interrupted continuously, and it will definitely be disrupted.Even if there is a great danger, he will not hesitate to leave the opponent with a chance to defend himself.Courage is not judgment.Arbitrary judgment is when the situation is unknown, uncertain, and random collisions.And boldness is a psychological reaction that understands the situation and has a certain degree of certainty.If Zhuge Liang didn't know that Sima Yi was suspicious, and that Sima Yi knew that he was cautious and never took risks in his life, he would never have dared to open the four doors and sing empty plans. In the above example, the "Gang of Four" Wang, Zhang, Jiang, and Yao colluded together at the Politburo meeting and uttered nonsense.While advocating Mao Yuanxin to stay, they suddenly proposed that Jiang Qing should join the Standing Committee of the Politburo and that Zhang Chunqiao should prepare the report for the Third Plenary Session.He publicly showed the posture of usurping the party and power, and the situation is critical.Wang Dongxing gave Hua Guofeng a wink, Hua Guofeng immediately took out his identity as the first vice chairman of the Party Central Committee, knocked on the table and said loudly: "Comrades, stop arguing. Now the attitudes of both sides are very clear. The problem is far from being resolved at this meeting. Based on the opinions of the majority of comrades, I have decided: Comrade Mao Yuanxin will go back to Liaoning. The Third Plenary Session will make a political report, and I should also make it and prepare it. As for The personnel arrangement of the Party Central Committee is discussed by the Politburo and then approved by the Third Plenary Session. Now, I announce the adjournment." After speaking, he stood up, turned his head and left. The "Gang of Four" were stupefied! In the process of a person's growth, inferiority complex always exists in varying degrees.The famous Austrian psychologist Adler believes that inferiority complex originates from the feelings of distrust, lack of self-confidence, timidity and pain caused by incompetence in childhood.From the perspective of general psychology, inferiority complex generally refers to the contempt of individuals due to certain physical or psychological defects and other reasons such as lack of intelligence, memory, judgment, temperament, personality, skills, etc. Or several aspects are not as good as others' psychology.Inferiority complex tends to make people lonely, alienated, inhibit self-confidence and sense of honor.When a person's certain ability deficiency is despised, ridiculed or insulted by people around him, this inferiority complex is often greatly strengthened, and even manifested in deformed forms such as jealousy, rage, and self-deception. Regulating and overcoming feelings of inferiority starts with developing self-awareness.That is to form self-awareness through direct and indirect self-awareness, and then to study one's own psychological and physical characteristics; or to form self-awareness through self-monitoring and self-education.The second is self-reinforcing, that is, controlling one's own behavior through the results of one's own behavior.The ancient Greek orator Demosthenes had a stuttering problem since he was a child, and his posture was not good when he spoke.In ancient Greece, which advocated eloquence, it was very difficult for him to become an outstanding speaker with his natural conditions.So he was very distressed and had a strong sense of inferiority in his heart.However, he was not discouraged, not overwhelmed by inferiority complex.On the contrary, he trained hard with extraordinary perseverance and hard-working spirit, and stood by the sea every morning to practice speech with stones in his mouth.At home, hang two sharp swords over your shoulders, and practice speaking in front of a mirror to avoid shaking your shoulders.After several years of hard work and hard work, Demosthenes finally developed a good eloquence, ranking first among the "Top Ten Speakers" in ancient Greece.Finally, self-suggestion and self-motivation must be carried out, that is, constantly remind yourself not to feel inferior, to believe in yourself, and not to be inferior to others.Even if you are in a disadvantaged position, you must encourage yourself to enhance your self-confidence. Everyone has a sense of shyness. In some social situations, it is normal to be "ashamed to speak" for various reasons.However, in social activities, speaking is a means for people to express their feelings and exchange ideas. If they are "ashamed to speak", it will cause communication barriers. A psychological survey in the United States shows that when getting along with strangers at a banquet, three-quarters of adults feel embarrassed. As for some speech occasions, speech failures caused by shyness are common.Therefore, we cannot let it develop just because the feeling of shyness when speaking is a normal psychological phenomenon. Therefore, only by overcoming the psychological barrier of shyness in conversation, can speaking be relaxed and natural, and achieve the desired effect.To this end, we must first improve our understanding, overcome "ignorance", be diligent in speaking training and practice, constantly sum up experience, and maintain psychological balance; secondly, we must carry out self-suggestion and constantly encourage ourselves to enhance self-confidence.Also, be well prepared.Lincoln said: "Even a man of strength cannot make a systematic and well-organized speech if he lacks thorough preparation." There was a novice British speaker who was going to speak to a group of well-educated audiences. Although he had made full preparations, he was still worried, so he asked Mr. Faraday, a famous British speaker, what the audience already knew.Faraday replied bluntly: "They don't know anything!" People like to express themselves. In a sense, speaking activities are also a kind of self-expression.A speaker often needs to have a certain sense of self-expression, because a proper desire to express can stimulate the speaker's self-confidence and self-motivation, and become the internal motivation for the speaker to emerge and strive for self-improvement.However, if the desire for performance is too strong, beyond the limit of one's actual ability and public acceptance, it will turn the noble speech activity into pure self-expression. Such a speaker will appear eager to try before the speech, eager to win the applause and praise of the audience Cheers, I have high expectations for myself.If the speech is successful and the applause is won, he will get carried away, carried away, and have a great sense of pride of "I am the only one in the world". If expectations and vanity are not met, he will become frustrated, angry, or self-deprecating, pessimistic, and become a deflated ball. It can be seen from this that an excessively strong desire to express is a very harmful psychological obstacle, and to overcome this obstacle, we mainly have to start from the following three aspects: Correct the motivation of the speech and clarify the purpose of speaking; Treat honor and success correctly, don't be eager for quick success, and don't have excessive expectations and greed for honor; Evaluate yourself correctly, don't overestimate yourself, let alone think too high of yourself, slap your face to look fat, do everything possible to express yourself in front of everyone, that will make people look down on you. Before speaking in public, it is impossible for the speaker to predict what kind of changes will occur during the speech. If there is no certain self-control ability, they will often get confused.At the same time, if you say a word, it may arouse different reactions among the audience, and some reactions may even be greatly unexpected. If you cannot control your emotions or grasp the situation well at this time, the situation may become worse and worse. Worse, I am losing my level more and more.Therefore, whether one has a certain ability to control when speaking is also a sign to measure a person's speaking level. Self-control ability refers to the speaker's ability to consciously and flexibly control his emotions and restrain his speech during the whole speaking activity. Public speaking is a complex mental activity, dominated and restricted by psychology.Should we speak, how to speak, when to start, how to deal with accidents, etc., whether we can control ourselves directly affects the effect of public speaking. Self-control is closely related to a person's psychological quality, so it should be cultivated in conjunction with the previous section on psychological quality. This basic ability has two functions.On the one hand, it can eliminate the speaker's emotions of shyness, fear, dare not speak or dare to speak boldly; on the other hand, it can ensure that when the speaker encounters an accident, his emotion will not fluctuate greatly and cause speech mistakes. Stage fright refers to being afraid to speak in front of people, especially when there are many people, or appearing stiff and unnatural when speaking because of nervousness and fear. Stage fright is a kind of psychological obstacle: one either feels oppressed by the atmosphere and situation of the speaking occasion; In fact, this psychological barrier is completely unnecessary.Some people can talk eloquently in front of their family members, but when they talk to outsiders, they find it difficult to speak; some people can talk eloquently in the occasion of three or two people, but when there are many people, especially when they are on stage, they become flustered and incoherent.This shows that he is not unable to speak, but is caused by psychological barriers rather than speaking ability. As long as this barrier is broken, stage fright will disappear. There are several ways to get rid of stage fright barriers: Every good speaker understands the important role of taking the initiative and effectively controlling the scene in a speech. In actual communication, although the speaker occupies a dominant position, no one can fully grasp how the objective response will be and how the situation will develop and change.Even if it is a one-way communication that is fully prepared in advance, there will be some unforeseen situations in the process.These situations will interfere and hinder the smooth progress of the speaking activity.If one cannot exercise effective control, the words spoken will not have the desired effect. On November 1, 1997, President Jiang Zemin, who was visiting the United States, was invited to give a speech at Harvard University.Some protesters in the United States violated the previous regulations not to use tweeters and yelled loudly outside the venue.But Jiang Zemin's speech was unmoved, and it was successfully completed as planned.The participants listened intently and laughed knowingly from time to time.When answering questions from the audience, the first American lady asked: "You said at the beginning of your visit to the United States that the shouts of those protesters were noise, but now there are still protesters shouting outside the venue, do you think they are also noise? ?” Jiang Zemin replied, “Ever since I came to the United States, these people have been following me and shouting all day. This is an experience of American-style democracy. Please note that it is not in the general sense, but American-style democracy. This is It’s something you can’t learn from books (warm applause). I’m giving a speech here today. Although I’m 71 years old, my hearing is very good, and I can still hear the shouts from outside. My method is to try to make my voice higher than the voices outside ( Prolonged warm applause, continuous laughter)".This answer itself is a manifestation of the ability to control the field, and at the same time it tells people how to control the field.No wonder his speeches and Q&As were called "world-class political leadership" by Boston newspapers. There are two situations of cold silence: one is in one-way communication, the listener has no interest and distracts attention; the other is in two-way communication, the listener does not respond, or only "um", "oh" and so on. The root cause of the silence is that the speaker's words are not attractive.The listener plays a "receiving" role only out of discipline or politeness.Therefore, the silence is entirely the speaker's responsibility. The appearance of a cold room is the failure of the speaker, because it cannot achieve the purpose of communicating with each other.If the speaker wants to speak, he must implement control to avoid the occurrence of silence.The method of control is: The shorter the speech, the shorter the better.For example, the opening ceremony of Huada Shopping Center was held, and people from all walks of life in the city were invited to participate.The general manager only said two words: "Ladies and gentlemen: I warmly welcome you to come! Now I announce: Huada shopping mall is officially opened!" In two-way communication, neither party should reserve the room endlessly, but consciously leave time and opportunity for the other party to speak.If you can't finish speaking in one round, you should wait for the other party's reaction before speaking, and don't speak very long in one round. Changing the subject When you encounter a cold spot when speaking in public, you can temporarily change the subject to attract the attention of the audience.After the goal is achieved, it is still necessary to return to the track of the original topic.For example, if the teacher finds that the students are distracted, looking around, dozing off, whispering, or scribbling on the table during the lecture, the teacher can suspend the lecture and intersperse a few words that are appropriate to the occasion, fashionable, and humorous; or briefly tell an anecdote that is more or less related to teaching , Anecdotes, the students' energy will be concentrated at once.After that, continue teaching. The topic change of two-way communication is uncertain, and it can be carried out at any time according to the situation on the spot.For example, you are talking to someone about the TV live broadcast of the World Cup football match that you watched in the early morning, but they don’t like football, and they didn’t get up to watch it in the middle of the night.At this time, you should change the subject in time. Cut off the conversation No speaker wants to be left alone.However, if this situation occurs, and you have adopted control measures such as making short speeches, changing the topic, and strengthening your tone, and still cannot reverse the cold situation, you should stop the conversation.Prolonged silence is cruel and time-wasting for both sides of the exchange.For example, after you talk about football with him and he is not interested, if you change the topic and he is still not interested, you can't continue the conversation.This is called "more than half a sentence without speculation". In addition, there is another situation that often occurs when speaking is disrupting the scene. Disrupting the scene is maliciously disrupting the order of the scene, causing the speaker to be interrupted continuously, or even forced to terminate.This situation occurs mainly in one-way communication.For example, in classes, reports, conference speeches, speeches, etc., the audience holds small meetings, shifts seats, enters and exits at will, makes noise, laughs, booes, whistles, and applauds blindly. There are three reasons for the disturbance: one is that the listener already has a prejudice against the speaker and is an opponent.The reason why he came to listen was to take advantage of the loopholes and make trouble. No matter what you said, he would disturb you.The second is that the speaker's ideological, academic, and business level is not high, and the listener feels that the words are meaningless, and it is a waste of time to listen.The third is that the listeners are not interested in the content of the speech. As a spokesperson, you can only control the appearance of disruptors yourself.It is not the ultimate solution to the problem to rely on others who have a stake in the listener to intervene, suppress, or exit in anger.In doing so, the negative effects may be even worse.Therefore, the speaker must face up to the disruption and take the initiative to exercise control. The method of controlling the disturbance needs to distinguish between different causes. The spoiler for the first reason: firm confidence and turn a deaf ear. In February 1860, Lincoln ran for President of the United States for the first time and gave a speech at the Key Society of New York.By the time he arrived in New York, the local newspapers had published many articles attacking him.When he stepped onto the stage, before he could speak, there was a roar of ridicule from the audience.Not long after the speech started, the audience was already very chaotic, and some Republicans shouted loudly for him to get off the stage.But Lincoln was completely unmoved, and continued speaking very calmly as he had prepared in advance.Gradually, the venue became quiet. Except for Lincoln's voice, there was only the burning sound of gas lamps, and the audience was fascinated by it.The next day, newspapers published articles praising Lincoln's exceptionally successful speeches. Spoiler for the second reason: modesty and prudence, self-blame. In the 1986 Philippine general election, Mrs. Co Aquino, the candidate, was accused of being a housewife who didn't understand anything.She took the stage to deliver a campaign speech, and many people viewed her in this light.The opposition publicly yelled that she was only worthy of being around the pot and asked her to go back to cooking.As soon as she opened her mouth, she said: "I am just a housewife, and I don't know much about politics and economics, and I have no experience." This sincere and sincere truth made the audience quiet for a while.Then she said: "Although I am a layman in politics, as a housewife who revolves around the pot, I am proficient in daily economics!" The audience immediately burst into enthusiastic cheers. A spoiler for the third reason: humorous and lively. According to the propaganda work plan of the factory, the propaganda director of a certain factory went to a branch factory to publicize current affairs policies.Some workers in the branch factory are worried about being laid off.But at this juncture, I dare not stop listening.When the director of the branch factory talked about the current affairs policy content that the minister wanted to preach, the audience exploded, and there was a lot of noise.部长扯开喉咙大喊道：“报告大家一个好消息。”台下顿时静了下来。部长故意停了一下才说：“我爱人下——岗——了！”台下先是一愣，随即响起一片热烈的掌声。接着部长就从自己爱人如何主动要求下岗讲起，将夫妻的对话、儿女反对的言辞维妙维肖地描述一番。待听众情绪完全调动起来后，才简要讲了讲为什么要下岗、当前下岗的形势等问题。事后，大家都说部长真会讲话。 责难就是责备非难。这有两种情况：一种是对所谈有疑问或不同意见而提出问题和反对意见。一般来说，这是善意的。另一种则是恶意的，故意刁难，搞恶作剧，以达到让发言者难堪、出丑的目的。 对责难的控制办法，也要区别对待： 只要不是涉及国家、组织机密和有伤风化等内容的，都应有问必答，不可用“无可奉告”之类的外交辞令搪塞。如果确实回答不了，要老老实实地表示歉意，或者留下另行探讨的话语。 前面所举宣传部长到分厂宣讲时事政策，一女工站起来问道：“你老讲形势好，为什么全国到处都在下岗？”部长说：“下岗是社会发展的正常现象，是社会进步的表现，恰恰说明形势好。现在一些地方。部门人浮于事，没事做，而一些地方、部门又事多等人做，这正常吗？一个工厂技术落后、设备陈旧，产品没市场，大家都发不出工资，还不如让一些人下岗转行，去干社会需要的事。这样，既满足了社会的需求，大家又都有钱可挣，不比要死不活地吊着好吗？” 手法上可以多样化：或反唇相讥，或以牙还牙，或幽默风趣。总之，不能让其企图得逞。在这种情况下，不予理睬、拒绝回答，或者发火、生气，或者令其离开或自己离开，都是不恰当的：一是会助长其气焰；二是混淆其他听众的视听；三是有损自己的形象。 加拿大在同中国建交前，国内有一股敌视中国的恶势力。外交官切斯特朗宁在参加议员竞选时，有人站出来反对他说：“他出生在中国，是喝中国奶妈的奶汁长大的，身上有中国人的血统！”切斯特朗宁立即驳斥道：“我喝过中国奶妈的奶，这是事实。但喝过中国奶妈的奶就具有中国人的血统了吗？诸位先生，你们不也喝过加拿大的牛奶吗？你们身上是不是也有加拿大牛的血统了呢？” 美国前总统布什一次在演说时，台下递上一张纸条，他打开一看，写的是“傻瓜”。他若无其事地笑道：“以往别人递纸条都是提出问题，而不落姓名；而这张只落了姓名却没有提问题。”巧妙地将本想辱骂他的恶语，转移到辱骂者身上。 有人曾作过调查，想搞清楚人们进行口才训练的原因和内心愿望是什么，调查的结果惊人的一致。大多数人的中心愿望与基本需要基本是一样的，他们是这样回答的：“当人们要我站起来讲话时，我觉得很不自在，很害怕，使我不能清晰地思考，不能集中精力，不知道自己要说的是什么。所以我最大愿望就是可以在公众面前自信、泰然地发表自己的观点，且逻辑清晰，内涵丰富，让人折服。” 我们不妨从别人的经验开始我们的信心训练。 卡耐基是一位享誉全球的当众讲话训练大师，在他的一生中所收到的感谢信可以堆积如山。他的学生各行各业、三教九流都有。所有这些人都感到需要自信，需要在公开场合中表达自己的能力，好让别人接纳自己的意见。他们在达到目的之后，就满怀感激地抽空给卡耐基写信，以表示谢意。 看一下这一个个成功的范例，或许可以让我们从感性上认识到获得出色的当众讲话能力并非什么很难的事情，他们的经验可以让我们“从战略上藐视敌人”！ 莱利先生是洛杉矶的一位商人，他曾避开在各种集会中讲话的机会，但被选为大学勤学会的主席后，必须主持会议，逃避习惯了，但必须上场时，他怎么办呢？卡耐基先生告诉他一定可以成功，只要他坚持训练。经过三年的训练，三年后，莱利先生随身携带的笔记本上已排满演说的日程表，甚至有一次英国首相被邀请在一次会议上演说，负责介绍这位政治家的不是别人，正是莱利先生。就是这位先生，三年前还在求问卡耐基自己是否有朝一日能够当众讲话？而现在他的演讲能力进步如此神速，同他的心理素质及自我认识和控制能力密切相关。 根特先生以半百年龄开始训练，而如果你是一个年轻人，又有什么可惧怕的呢？ 有一位叫彼得森的医生，是位热心的棒球迷，经常去看球员们练球。不久，他就和球员成为了好朋友，并被邀请参加一次为球队举行的宴会。 在侍者送上咖啡与糖果之后，有几位著名的宾客被请上台“说几句话”。突然之间，在事先没有通知的情况下，宴会主持人突然宣布说：“今晚有一位医学界的朋友在座，我特别请彼得森大夫上来向我们谈谈棒球队员的健康问题。” 作为一位已从医30余年，有丰富卫生保健知识的人，按说对这类问题是小菜一碟。他可以坐在椅子里向坐在两旁的人侃侃谈论这个问题谈一整晚。但是，要他当众，即使面对很少的人讲这个问题，那却是另外一个问题了。这个问题令他不知所措，他心跳加速，而他每一沉思，心脏就立即停止跳动。他一生中从未作过演讲，而他脑海中的记忆，现在全飞到爪洼国去了。 The results of it?宴会上的人全在鼓掌，大家都望着他，他摇摇头，表示谢绝。但他这样做反而引来了更热烈的掌声，纷纷要求他上台演讲。 “彼得森大夫！请讲！请讲！”的呼声愈来愈大，也更坚决。 他心情非常矛盾，他知道，如果他站起来演讲一定会失败，他将无法讲出完整的五六个句子。因此，他站起身来，一句话也没说，转身背对着他的朋友，默默地走了出去，深感难堪，更觉得是莫大的耻辱。 他不愿再度陷入脸红及哑口无言的困境了，他开始进行当众讲话训练。他有极为迫切的需要。他希望拥有演讲的能力，他锲而不舍地练习自己当众讲话的口才。 通过努力练习，进步简直是一日千里，刚开始他紧张的情绪消失了，信心愈来愈强。两个月后，甚至开始接受邀请，前往各地演讲。他现在很喜欢演讲的感觉及那份成就感，以及所获得的荣誉，更高兴从演讲中结交到更多的朋友。纽约市共和党竞选委员会的一名委员，在听过彼得森大夫的一次演说之后，立即邀请他到全市各地为共和党发表竞选演说。如果这位议员了解到他所赏识的这位演讲家，一年前曾抱着羞愧与沮丧的心情逃避其第一次的当众讲话，那么，这位议员的嘴巴不知会张多大。 一次，一个公司的董事长找到卡耐基。他对卡耐基说：“我这一生每逢要说话时都很紧张。身为董事长不能不主持开会。董事们个个都已熟悉多年，大家围桌而坐时，我同他们对答如流，一点困难也没有，然而一旦起身说话，我竟然一个字也说不出。这种情形已有多年。我不奢求你的训练有帮助，这个毛病已经根深蒂固了。”卡耐基说：“你既然认为我帮不上你的忙，干嘛还要找我？”“只为了一个原因，”他答道，“我有一个下属以前内向腼腆，每次见我都眼观地面，很少说话，但最近每次进办公室时，他都显得神采奕奕，信心十足，头颅高昂，还主动和我打招呼，甚至有一次开会时竟然当众作了10分钟发言，我惊讶于他的变化，后来才知是因为他参加了当众讲话的训练。” 卡耐基告诉他，定期来上课，并照课程的要求做，不出几星期，就会喜欢在听众面前讲话了。 这位董事长果然来参加课程，并且进步神速。三个月后，卡耐基邀请他参加阿斯特饭店舞厅里的3000人聚会，并谈谈自己在训练中所获得的收益。为了以自己的故事激励更多的人去除讲话的恐惧，他推掉了自己的约会，如约在聚会上发言，卡耐基说让他讲两分钟就行，结果对着3000人，他足足说了10多分钟。 类似的奇迹还有很多，许多人因此而改变了自己的命运。其中，有好多人在自己的岗位上获得了远远超过自己所希望的擢升，在商业上、事业上和社会上达于显赫的地位。也因为如此，我们可以肯定地说，在正确的时刻，一场演说就足以使大功告成。因为在这样一场演说中，人们可以以别的经验为梯，摘取当众讲话的信心、勇气和技巧。 在当众讲话训练中，受训者首先必须将自己投入未来的形象中，然后不懈努力，坚持到底，盯紧目标永不放松，总有一天会取得成功，这是每个人都必须做到，而且也一定是可以做到的。 不难想象自信流畅、口若悬河的讲话能力对一个人的事业有多么重要，它可以让我们广交朋友，在社会活动中游刃有余，当我们憧憬这美好的前景时，就要下定决心为这光辉的目标开始奋斗，那么就从今天开始吧！有位商人曾撰文指出：“干我们商业这行的历史中，不少人是借着讲坛上的杰出表现而蒙器重的。许多年前，有位青年，当时是堪萨斯州一处小分行的主管，在做了一场精彩无比的讲演之后，今天已是我们的副总裁，掌管业务。” 能够起立，从容不迫地娓娓而谈，这是你的最低目标。美国雪弗公司的总裁亨利·柏莱特说：“与他人做有效的交谈，并且赢得他们的合作，是我们往上爬的人选中所积极追寻的一项能力。” 想象一下起身讲话，凭借语言的力量控制场面，操纵听众的那种力量感、强劲感与成就感。有位经过训练掌握了当众讲话技巧的人说：“开始说话前两分钟我宁可挨鞭子，就是开不了口；可是说到临结束前两分钟时，我又宁可吃枪子儿也不愿停下来。” 现在就开始想象自己面对着观众。想着自己满怀信心，迈步向前，开讲后全场鸦雀无声；感觉感觉在你发表高见之际听众贯注的表情；感受感受你离开讲台时山呼海啸的欢呼与掌声，并听听聚会结束后个别的听众对你的赞扬。 哈佛大学最杰出的心理学教授威廉·詹姆斯曾写下6句话。这几句话可能会让你找到打开信心之门的金钥匙。“倘若你对某项结果足够关心，你自然一定会完成。如果你希望做好，你就会做好。若你期望致富，你便会致富。若是你想博学，你就会博学。只有那样，你才会真正地期盼这些事情，并一心一意地去做，而不会费许多心神再去胡思乱想其他不相干的杂事。” 有一位医师谈到当众讲话对心理和生理健康的益处时，说了下面这段话： “尽力培养出一种能力，让别人能够看到你的脑海和心灵。学着在个人面前、在人群当中、在大众之前清晰地表达自己的思想和意念给别人。在你这样努力去做而不断进步时，便会发觉：我真正的自我，正在人们心目中塑造一种前所未有的形象，产生前所未有的震击。” “从这份处方，你会收到双重好处。你学着对别人讲话时，你的自信心也会随之增强，而你整个人的性格也会愈来愈温和，愈来愈美好。这意味着你的情绪已渐入佳境，情绪既已渐入佳境，身体当然也就渐入佳境了。在我们现代世界里，不论男女老少，都得当众讲话。我个人并不清楚它在工、商业中究竟会给人带来什么利益，我只听说裨益无穷。可是，我确实知道它在健康上的益处。只要有机会，便对几个人或许多人说说话；你会愈说愈好，我自己就是这样；同时你会感到神清气爽，感到自己完整而圆浑，这是你从前感受不到的。” “这是一种畅快、美妙的感觉，没有任何药丸子能予你这般的感受。” 开弓没有回头箭，现在我们就必须把充沛的信心和有效的当众讲话当作靶心，积极而主动地射出我们的一箭。 要想获得自信心、勇气以及能力，以便在向人们发表谈话的同时能够冷静而清晰地思考，这并不像大多数人所想象的那般困难。就像你完美地完成其他事业一样，任何人只要对它充满火山熔岩般的热情，并肆意释放出其潜在的能力，就定能成功。 你一定要具有果敢的决心，并把这种决心转化为一个单词，一段讲话，一步行动，倾尽全身心地训练培养。 有位商界的传奇人物，在大学时代，他初次起立讲话时，却因言辞不足而失败，老师指定的五分钟讲演，他讲不到一分钟，便脸色发白，匆匆下台。 但他坚强地承受了那次失败。他立下决心要做个优秀的演说家，片刻不懈，最后终于成为政府的经济顾问，令人瞩目，他就是蓝道尔。谈到当众讲话时他说： “我的讲演排得满满的，现身的场合有厂商协会的午、晚餐会，还有商务部、扶轮社、基金筹募会、校友会等。我曾经在密西根州的艾斯肯那巴发表爱国演说，于慷慨激昂中投身一次世界大战；我曾与米基·龙尼下乡做慈善讲演；与哈佛大学校长柯南和芝加哥大学校长胡钦斯下乡宣导教育；我甚至曾以极蹩脚的法语做过一场餐后演说。” “我想我了解听众要听的是什么，以及他们希望它被怎样地讲出来，对于堪当事业重任的人而言，这其中的窍门是：只要他愿意去学，没有什么学不会的。” 蓝道尔的经历说明，在努力成为有效的说话者的过程中，成功的意志是成败的关键所在。坚强的意志和明朗的思想决定了在当众讲话技巧上的进步会有多快。因此，要想成功，必须具备的条件就是：用毅力来磨平高山，以及相信自己一定会成功。 正如前面所言，无论何时何地都不会有天生的演讲家。历史上有些时期，当众讲演是一门精致的艺术，必须谨遵修辞法与优雅的演说方法，因而，要想做个优秀的大众演说家那是极其困难的，是经过漫长的学习才能达到的。现在我们却把当众演说看成一种扩大的交谈。以前那种说话、动作俱佳的方式，如雷贯耳的声音已经永远过去。我们需要的是言简意赅，常人可以理解的真挚的思想和话语，而非华丽的词藻、严谨的修辞和泛泛而谈。 当众讲话不是一门闭锁的艺术，并不像许多学校那样容易学到知识，必须经过多年的美化声音，以及苦学修辞学，多年以后才能成功。平常说话简单易学，只要遵循一些简单的原则就行。对于这一点，大师卡耐基的经验可以证明。1914年，他在纽约市青年基督协会开始教授学生时，讲授那些低年级的方法，同他在给大学新生演讲的方式大同小异。但是他很快发现，把商界中的大人当成大学新生来教是一种很大的失误。因为学生们所需要的并不是这些，而是在面对听众时有足够的勇气直起腰来，做一番明确、连贯的报告。于是他抛弃教条，用一些简单的概念和那些学生互相交流和切磋，直到他们报告词达意尽、深得人心为止。事实证明，这一方法可以让学生在放松的气氛中学到他们所需要的东西。 可见，当众讲话并非是古代那样精致的艺术，这是必须认识到的一点。在训练的过程中，要保持轻松与乐观的心态，这种心态将引领你体会训练的快乐，并最终走向成功。