Chapter 10 Chapter Ten Morning Glory

The day after Dongzi was attacked, the Meteorological Observatory announced the beginning of the rainy season. This summer, the hot weather lasted for a long time, and the weather gradually cooled down until the arrival of the typhoon, but it made people feel that the breath of autumn came a little earlier. In the first half of the month, the temperature was always more than 30 degrees above zero, and there was not even a breath of wind.The northern part of Hokkaido also reached 33°C, and the whole country of Japan is in the process of baking in the heat flow.But the typhoon broke out suddenly in August. After the 10th, the clear sky disappeared and the temperature dropped a lot.

This month, Dongzi tied herself to the store and home, and didn't go anywhere. The store in Harajuku opens at 11 am and closes at 8 pm.As soon as Dongzi closed the shop, he went straight home.Just going back and forth between Sangong Bridge and Harajuku monotonously. "Miss Boss, I can't keep my spirits up lately. Is there something wrong?" Seeing Dongzi's listless look, Maki and Tomomi asked with concern.Dongzi just smiled and said nothing.To be honest, there was nothing unusual about her body, but Dongzi was very afraid of seeing men. Walking on the street, she always felt uneasy, for fear that the two men would suddenly come out from some corner of the street.

How terrible it would be if we met them again and were entangled!This uneasiness is like causing Dongzi to suffer from cowardice, and every sound makes the heart jump. In the middle of the night, the terrible scene of that night appeared before her eyes, and Dongzi was really afraid of the streets of Tokyo.In the past, I always felt that there are many people and cars in this capital, and it is okay for a woman to walk alone at night; but now, it seems that this kind of thinking is too naive.In a big city, there are many places where danger lurks.There are many people, and there are also some people with ulterior motives mixed in.The shock of that night lingered in Dongzi's mind all the time. She tried her best to get rid of the nightmare memory and pinned her hope on the passage of time, but the terrible scene often jumped before her eyes like a shadow.Thinking of what happened that day, Dongzi felt dizzy and felt that she was an impure and unforgivable woman.

But looking at it from another angle, she had a proud thought in her heart. It is shameful to be raped, but hasn't her beauty been proved in the eyes of greedy men? This momentary thought only stayed for a few minutes before Dongzi started to get angry with herself.The feeling of self-blame also made her very irritable. She felt that every part of her body seemed to be occupied by butterflies with black spots, nocturnal animals such as bats, and the like. It went on like this for a month. During this period, I received two letters from Funatsu. The first letter was written immediately after he arrived in the United States.The letter introduced his new residence and the situation of the guest house.He said: "I planned not to write to you immediately after arriving in the United States, but after arriving here, I immediately wanted to write to you." The second letter was received half a month later. Not too bad, I plan to find an English conversation school nearby to study, and at the same time study interior decoration.He said: "I don't know if it's right to leave Japan. Now that I have left Tokyo, where I have many friends, and come to a foreign country, I will be very lonely in the future." Looking at the letter, Toko thought: If I tell Funatsu what happened that day, the result will be terrible. how is it?How surprised Funatsu would be to know that tragic situation!With a strong sense of responsibility, he will definitely go crazy.But now it's useless to say anything. I want to say something to him, but we are separated by thousands of miles, and many words are hard to explain in the letter.This sense of distance made Dongzi's longing for Funatsu illusory.Now, only Guizhi, Mrs. Zhongshan, Kida from S Mall, and professional designer Fushiki are the only people who are close and often come to play.Of course, Dongzi didn't tell anyone what happened that night.Mrs. Zhongshan was the only one in Daikanyama's home, probably because her husband was not lonely.She appeared to be more energetic, came to the store more often, and occasionally called.She called a week ago, seeming to emphasize Dongzi: "You must come to my house tonight", but Dongzi flatly refused.

For unknown reasons, after being raped, Dongzi became decisive in everything she did.Looking back, I used to let others lead me by the nose and always consider what other people think, but now I am fearless, so forget it!Interestingly, I was stunned by my own audacity. Mrs. Zhongshan saw Dongzi's change, "You seem to have changed." She stared at Dongzi and said. "What has it become?" "Looks like he has a lot of confidence." "What confidence?" "It feels like you've overcome something and become bold." "No wow!" Dongzi responded with his mouth, but he replied in his heart: "I hate your way!"

Indeed, there is a strong part of Dongzi's character, but whether it is necessarily related to that incident, I still don't know. One thing is clear, Dongzi is becoming more and more decisive in handling things. This month, Dongzi also received 3 phone calls from Guizhi, and they still called casually when he remembered. The first time was the second day after I went to the United States from Tianjin. "Did Funatsu leave yesterday?" Kishi didn't say any greetings?asked directly. "Didn't you send him off?" Dongzi asked. "Oh, you didn't go either! You're so cowardly."

"I'm in a hurry." "Oh! He seems to have seen you go?" "That's it..." "No matter how busy you are, you should be happy when he goes." Guizhi didn't believe the reason why Dongzi was so busy. "Can we see each other? How is tonight?" he asked. "..." "My friend opened a new western restaurant in Qingshan, and I must go there once." Guizhi insisted. "Today I……" "Is there really not even a moment?" "I'm sorry." It was the day after that incident, and Dongzi didn't want to see anyone.

"Let's decide then." Guizhi's disappointed voice came from the microphone. Hearing Guizhi put down the phone, Dongzi suddenly felt an urge to see Guizhi.Tell him what happened last night, and I feel more at ease in my heart.Dongzi was stunned for a long time holding the microphone. The second time Guizhi called was half a month later, "How about it, it should be a little bit of time now." At this time, it was already past 11 o'clock in the evening. "Where are you now?" "In Akasaka, I suddenly want to meet you, how about Wednesday morning?"

"I'm already asleep." Dongzi said after thinking for a while. "It's about time. Anyway, there is no job. Why, is there anyone else?" "no……" "How about a little relief?" "Forget it tonight." Dongzi hung up the phone.If you go to see him now, you will definitely see something on his face.Wanted to tell him about it, but also wanted to hide it from him. "Really sorry".she said to herself. More than ten days later, Guizhi received a fifth phone call. "Happy birthday to you!" Dongzi was stunned by the sudden greeting.Indeed, today is her 29th birthday.Originally, she wanted to let her age grow quietly without telling anyone, but she finally let Guizhi know.

"I really want to have a meal with you, but I really don't have time today." Guizhi said apologetically. "It's okay, and it's nothing to celebrate." "Have you received the flowers yet?" "not yet……" "It was sent just now, and I should have received it." Guizhi said so, and suddenly asked, "Are you going to Hokkaido next week?" "This..." Dongzi felt very sudden. "Go next week. The Menglan Festival is over, so people can relax a little bit. The weather in Hokkaido may start to cool down." As soon as he heard that he was going to Hokkaido, Dongzi was a little tempted.During this period, due to the bitter summer and that blow, Dongzi lost a lot of weight, and it is indeed time to relax.

"Is it business?" Dongzi asked. "There is a society in Sapporo, and I want to hear a symposium." "Then Mr. Zhongshan will go too?" "Probably go, it doesn't matter to me whether he goes or not. How about it? If I go, I'll book a ticket." "What time next week?" "The society holds meetings on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. If possible, you can go on Sunday. There is no need to worry now." Compared with the small shop, Dongzi of course needs her body and Guizhi to go out to play and relax, which is of course the best. "It's best to rest for a while in summer, especially women should relax themselves." There was another loud persuasion on the phone. Yes!Maki and Tomomi have each taken a week off. "Hokkaido may be hot during the day, but it's cool at night, so it must be very comfortable to sleep in." "Is it convenient for me to go?" "Of course. Then let the company people buy the tickets tomorrow. How about leaving on Saturday?" Kishi said again: "There is no one who is as considerate as Funatsu." "I didn't say..." Dongzi argued. "Just kidding, don't mind." Guizhi smiled and hung up the phone. Putting down the phone, Dongzi thought about her relationship with Takashi again.When I got close to Funatsu, I temporarily forgot Takashi—it was impossible to completely forget, but I didn't really think about it.Now that Funatsu is gone, she is traveling with Kishi again.When people made an appointment on the phone, I agreed. "Could it be that he and I are really enemies?" Dongzi thought to himself. But even so, this time can not be regarded as an ordinary trip, this is his first trip after being raped by men.Of course, Dongzi's body is no different from usual now.Unlike the few days when the incident happened, every joint in my body hurt. Of course, Dongzi is not worried about getting pregnant, her pain is only in her heart. But having said that, would it be calm to let Guizhi hug him? If possible, Toko would really like to take a trip that has nothing to do with things like that between men and women, but Takashi would not agree. A pot of morning glory bloomed on the balcony of Dongzi's house.Originally, it was a flower that bloomed in early autumn, but a new cultivation method has recently been developed, so that it can also bloom in summer. On the morning of the trip, four flowers bloomed in the tangle of morning glory and ivy.Two red ones and two lavender ones, Dongzi watered them and locked the door. There was a pair of trousers and a change of dress in a big bag. Dongzi thought about it and stuffed a sweater in. It might be cold in the morning there. When Dongzi drove to the gate of the departure room of Haneda Airport, 20 minutes earlier, Keguizhi had already greeted her with a smile on her face. "I thought you had to come later," Kishi said. "Sorry, the car is too crowded." Guizhi made a gesture of invitation, and the two entered the waiting room together. "Mr. Zhongshan left yesterday." Guizhi said. "It's better not to go together." Dongzi said in his heart.Dongzi now just wants to travel quietly. Although Menglan Festival passed and there were fewer passengers, the cabin was still full. "I went to Kyushu at the beginning of the year, and I haven't gone out for half a year." Dongzi said, leaning comfortably on the seat. "That's right, that's the season when plum blossoms bloom." Guizhi said while sitting on the seat next to her. "Everyone says that Hokkaido is good, but I don't think it's that good. The scenery is all green, there are not many changes, and there are too many people." "It's cool!" "Have you been to Hokkaido before?" "When I was in college, I only walked the southern part of Hokkaido on foot." "Do you have friends in Sapporo?" "There is a classmate from college who is now working at Hokkaido University. However, he is not a drinker like Fujii-kun." "What happened to Fujii-kun?" "A few days ago, he came to Tokyo, we met, and his wife is still the same." "As usual?" "yes." The plane slid slowly, and after the orientation, the gliding speed increased.After a while, the plane left the ground and went up diagonally.In the cabin, the seats reclined slightly. "Can Fujii restrain himself?" Dongzi asked. "Now he doesn't seem to have any demands." "Then both of them..." "It seemed so at first, but he seems to have another woman recently." "Oh! How can that be?" "But men can't help it. It's natural for the body to have such a requirement." "Then does his wife know?" "He only told his wife to go out to play, and his wife can't help it." "Men are so casual." "Fujii still loves his wife very much." Kishi argued. In the tilted cabin, Fuyuko's kind face appeared again in front of her eyes. It is Sapporo in late August, and midsummer is coming to an end. White clouds are floating high in the sky, and the endless grassland is also slightly yellow, all of which tell people: autumn is here. Half a month ago, of course, when there was a high temperature of more than 30 degrees here, it really surprised the creatures in Hokkaido, but now the highest temperature is only 22 or 3 degrees, and sooner or later there is already a chill, this is the real of Hokkaido. On the night of arriving in Sapporo, Fuyuko took out a sweater from her travel bag, put it on, and went out to the street with Kishi.They sat down at a crab restaurant in Susukino.Guizhi expertly said that summer is not the peak season for crab production, but fresh crabs can always be eaten here, and crabs are always added to soup or meals. After eating, they walked on Susukino Street for a while, and the two entered a bar.There were only three waitresses in this bar, and the counter was small but neat. When Guizhi and Dongzi were together, they rarely went to nightclubs with many women. "Long time no see, why are you free today?" A woman in her 30s who looked like a shopkeeper at the counter greeted Guizhi enthusiastically, "I heard that there is something learned recently, so I guess you must Come, look, I have been waiting for you to visit me!" Obviously, this is not the first time Guizhi has visited this bar. The female shopkeeper greeted Dongzi again, praising Dongzi's beauty.Dongzi agreed, thinking to himself: "This is really a man with sharp teeth and sharp teeth!" After soaking in the bar for more than an hour, it was already 10 o'clock at night when I came out. Because it is a weekend, there are still many young people on the street at this time. Walking with the crowd under the neon lights, it really makes people feel that this is Tokyo. Wait until you turn into an alley.Only when the cold wind blows over does it make people realize that this is on the streets of Beiguo. For some reason, Dongzi felt a little sad. Whether it was because Takashi and Takashi slipped away to the Northland without anyone knowing, or because this was the first trip after parting with Funatsu, or for some other reason, Toko herself couldn't say. "There is still 10 minutes to the hotel, how about walking back?" Guizhi asked Dongzi softly.Dongzi nodded silently, and walked forward with Guizhi side by side. Passing through the busy city, there are gradually fewer people, only the autumn wind blows through the quiet street. "I haven't seen such a clear sky for a long time." Dongzi looked at the starry night sky and took a deep breath. A few faint clouds slowly walked past the moon.The stars are brighter, as if they can be grasped by reaching out. Dongzi suddenly grabbed Guizhi's hand and asked softly, "Why did you bring me here?" Guizhi didn't answer right away. After walking for a while, he stared at the lights of thousands of families in the distance, and said slowly, "There's no reason." "You don't need to come to Sapporo with an abnormal woman who broke up with you once." "Did I embarrass you?" "No. If you want to bring a girl to play, there are plenty of them!" "Are you jealous?" "No." Dongzi replied.Guizhi is often accompanied by women, except for his wife.But Dongzi didn't want to embarrass Guizhi because of this.It was impossible for Guizhi not to associate with other women, and she didn't want to make irresponsible remarks because of this. In fact, Dongzi felt that she had no such right. Thinking about the relationship between myself and Guizhi, it is really amazing.Once broke up decisively, but unknowingly, they came together again like this.At first, that wasn't the case, it was an unstable and unreliable flame like a candle, at least Dongzi thought so. "I don't do anything else now, just because I like you." Guizhi said before walking to the building with shutters. "Please don't force it." "I really like you." The road becomes wider.The hotel was barely visible. "We still have a long way to go." This time Dongzi nodded seriously. Anyway, Dongzi really felt the long road. "I like you before and now, but it's different. I used to like you no matter what. When I think of you, I feel restless; when I'm with you, I feel extremely happy. Now it's different." "Why is it different?" "It's hard to say, but I'm sure you are one of your own." "Because I'm stupid, aren't I?" "No. I have been with you for many years. I have given everything to you, and I have not hidden anything. This is an incomparable joy!" "It's been a long time, but it's not as good as your wife..." "That's it. But for some reason, I can't get close to her. It's not good at this age. There is always a sense of distance. Recently, this feeling is more obvious." "It's incomprehensible." "You may not understand, but it's true." The autumn wind kept blowing Dongzi's hair. "Always miss you, isn't this love?" Guizhi gently shook Dongzi's hand and said. "miss me?" "Of course." Looking at the hotel, Guizhi felt a little sad. "Then what do you do?" Dongzi asked. "Wait a little longer." "What are you waiting for?" "I want a divorce this time." "I haven't heard you say that yet." "No, this time it's true." "No, I don't want to marry you." "If you don't want to, think about it. At this age, we can no longer restrain ourselves. I really want to be with the person I like." "No, you are best suited to live with your wife." "Please don't say useless words." "It's not useless, you must not get a divorce." "You don't have to worry about this matter." After speaking, Guizhi stopped and hugged Dongzi tightly.Dongzi leaned against Kishi's chest, held her breath, and listened quietly to the rumble of cars in the distance, as if the street was becoming noisy again. "Is it okay, Dongzi?" A voice came from above his head, Dongzi closed his eyes and did not answer. Back in the room, it was already 12 o'clock at night.After showering and changing into pajamas, Kishi went to bed. "Hey, hurry up!" Guizhi greeted Dongzi impatiently. Dongzi turned off the light and went to bed. "It's been a long time since we've been together." Guizhi muttered, while pounced on Dongzi and hugged Dongzi tightly... Dongzi closed her eyes, she felt a little drunk. Indeed, Dongzi hadn't been so enthusiastic before, let alone before the operation, after the operation, she had never had such a good time.A sweet languid and contented ease filled her now. Kishi stroked Dongzi's back with his hand, and after a while, he dropped his hand and fell asleep with satisfaction. Seeing that Guizhi was fast asleep, she got out of bed and walked into the bathroom. After the incident, left a lot of sweat. Before being intimate with Takashi, Toko had already taken a bath, but now she had to take a bath again. When she came out of the bathroom in her bathrobe, it was already half past one in the night. The surroundings were quiet, only Guizhi's low snoring was repeated monotonously. Dongzi adjusted the corners of the quilt for him, and then stood in front of the window. Through the lace curtains, I saw the lawn illuminated by fluorescent lights. When I came back just now, the banquet hall on the left, which was still lit, was now completely dark. The pool in the park can also be seen from the road in the hotel courtyard.There was no one around; in the lights by the pool, only willow branches hung down to the water. The contrast between light and dark became more intense, and the night returned to silence. On the last trip, Dongzi tried hard to be full of enthusiasm, but she couldn't feel her body no matter what she did, so she felt very anxious.Guizhi also seemed to see Dongzi's mood, and tried his best to comfort her a lot. But that night, there was no bad feeling at all. This time, Dongzi suddenly regained her sexual consciousness, so she immediately had a feeling of breaking away from the long-term dark state, and suddenly saw the blue sky. When Dongzi woke up the next day, the hour hand of the watch was pointing to 7 o'clock. Because she often travels, Dongzi didn't affect her sleep because of the change of place. Maybe it's because I slept so well last night. Dongzi thought so, but suddenly dismissed the idea. At exactly 9:00, they boarded the 12th floor, had breakfast in the western restaurant there, and happened to be sitting at the same table with Professor Zhongshan. The professor looked very good, and introduced a woman who came with him to Dongzi and the others.In the past, Dongzi seemed to have heard Mrs. Zhongshan say that she was a research assistant in a university, in her thirties, and a hysterical spinster.But now when Dongzi saw it, he was clearly a good-looking and well-cultivated person. Kishi and the professor were talking about the academy, and Toko started chatting with the woman, mostly about the weather and food in Hokkaido. The professor and the others arrived the day before yesterday, and they took a tour of the city immediately after arriving. The four of them ate together again.None of the four were a real couple, which made it more natural for both parties.But it seems that there is something that is not suitable in one aspect. Everyone talked openly, and Dongzi secretly compared Mrs. Zhongshan with the woman in front of him. Madame likes to be flamboyant and lively, but this woman looks very demure. Dongzi thought that if he was a man, he would definitely choose such a woman, and the woman opposite seemed to feel very kind to Dongzi. "Next time the four of us will go on a trip together, okay?" the professor glanced at Guizhi and Dongzi and said. "How about going to Europe?" "Okay." Guizhi echoed. "Next year's international conference will be in Athens." Looking at the happy faces of the two of them, Dongzi thought of his wife in Tokyo, and felt a little pitiful.Although Madam is very self-willed and informal, but actually think about it, Madam is very lonely.The reason for this is not so much a close personal relationship as it is more accurate to say that the two have lost something equally important in terms of their bodies. After 30 minutes, Guizhi and Dongzi left the restaurant first. "They seem to be very close. Compared with the wife, that woman seems to have a lot of advantages." Guizhi doesn't seem to like people like Madam very much. "Mr. Zhongshan looks much younger." Dongzi said. "In love, it's easy to reveal a person's youthful side." "Do you do that too?" "I've been chasing you." In the morning, Guizhi went to attend the academy.Dongzi came to the streets of Sapporo alone, first watched the clock tower, and then walked to the commercial street in the city center. To be honest, Dongzi really didn't know there was such a modern street in Sapporo. There are tall buildings row upon row, and the roads are wide and tidy.Although Tokyo is the capital, the streets can sometimes be dirty. In the west of the city, there are small mountain peaks one after another, which really makes people feel like they are in Kyoto for a while. Just after mid-August, the sun has shown the softness of early autumn. Dongzi walked along the mall, then strolled into a fourth mall, bought a cloisonne necklace and a pair of earrings, and a white georgette dress to match them. After resting for a while beside the flower bed in the garden in the middle of the street, I walked into the gate of the zoo. There are tall elm trees everywhere in the garden, casting shadows of trees. Dongzi slowly admired the greenness between the sky and the earth, and then went around the memorial hall and museum where Ainu materials are collected. It was three o'clock in the afternoon when we got back to the hotel. She is really tired. An hour later, Guizhi came back. Seeing Dongzi lying on the bed in her yukata, she suddenly went over and hugged her. The sun has not yet set, and through the hanging net curtain, I can see the setting sun still reflecting the sky. "Wait a while..." But Guizhi didn't seem to hear. At Guizhi's request, Dongzi once again accepted Guizhi's tenderness in the afternoon sunset. Dongzi once again felt the sweetness of sexual excitement.Just like that, she put her hand on Guizhi's chest, turned her body slightly, and seemed to be asleep. "Get up." When Guizhi spoke, the room was already dark. Toko put on her yukata and left the bed. The sun, which had not yet set in the west, had already set, and only the sky was still stained with golden light. "Remember just now?" Guizhi also sat up and lit a cigarette. "Now I don't believe it's a cold talk anymore." "Stop saying that kind of thing." "I've been thinking about it since I learned it today." "What are you thinking?" "Why it's all right all of a sudden, have you thought about it?" "It's ridiculous to think about it." Dongzi pouted. "No, this is very important. It is necessary to study the deep psychology of Freud and others." "..." "Why did your spirits suddenly rise, and where did you start?" Dongzi couldn't care less about listening to him at this time, picked up his clothes and ran into the bathroom as if fleeing. After spending an unforgettable Saturday and Sunday in Sapporo, they flew back to Tokyo at noon on Monday.I came back from Fukuoka by myself, alone; but this time, my dear Takashi was by my side. It seems that Professor Zhongshan will go to Toya for a day. Taking advantage of the coolness of early autumn, they arrived at Haneda Airport after an hour and a half flight.As soon as I entered the airport, there was a heat wave blowing against my face. The sweater that Fuyuko had brought with her when she left Tokyo was put back into her bag, and Kishi also took off her suit and draped it over her arm. "Where are you going?" Kishi asked. "Go home first, and then go to the store to have a look." "Really, then let's part here." The two walked out of the lounge and stood at the taxi stand. "It was a nice trip, wasn't it?" Hearing Takashi's question, Touko nodded seriously. "I'll call you later, okay?" "certainly." "Then, you go first." Guizhi sent Dongzi to a taxi, and he seemed to be going to Yokohama Garden to do business. The car was driving fast on the road, and Dongzi looked at the familiar street outside the window, feeling a little lost in his heart. It may be because of the air conditioner in the car, and the outside of the car with the sun shining is simply two worlds. Tokyo, where people and cars are mixed together, reappeared in front of my eyes. I was tired of this noise at first, but after a while, I became content with this environment. We stopped at Mangpo on the way, and when we arrived at Sangongqiao Apartment, it was already past 3 o'clock in the afternoon. After entering the gate, she looked at the newspaper box on the left side of the gate, and there was a letter from Funatsu with the newspaper. Holding it, Fuyuko got on the elevator and went back to her room. After being closed for two days, the house is very hot.After entering the house, Dongzi immediately opened the window and turned on the air conditioner.Then, sitting on the sofa, he opened Funatsu's letter. There are a few simple greetings at the beginning of the letter, and then I wrote that Los Angeles is also very hot.In the past two days, he has gradually gotten used to the local life and can handle some daily things. He also said that there are many Japanese women here, but I can't forget you. Regardless of flattery or sincerity, Dongzi was very happy to see this. At the end of the letter, Guizhi told Dongzi that his address had changed, so don't write the letter wrongly, and then wrote his new address. After reading the letter, Dongzi changed into clothes and went to the store. In the evening, after returning from the store, Fuyuko began to write a reply to Funatsu. She wrote about the climate in Tokyo; she wrote about the busy season of autumn in the store;At the end of the letter, I wrote "Please take care of your body and look forward to the day when we meet again." It may be a bit puzzling to write such words to young people who have left themselves to go to a foreign country, but this is not a hypocritical entertainment but a sincere thought. In early September, the temperature in Tokyo dropped suddenly, and then it started to rain. In the rapid climate change, young people on the street are still wearing short sleeves, while older people are starting to wear suits. It rained for two days, and on the third day, it finally cleared up. Under the clear sky, the long-lost sunlight came out of the clouds, but it was no longer as strong as in midsummer. The hat shop gets busy in autumn. In summer, Panama hats and straw hats are mainly used for summer vacation.A truly elegant hat for cheap fall fashion. One day at noon, when Dongzi was drinking tea with the female shop assistant, Maki said vaguely, "Madam, I understand." "Know what?" Hearing this sentence suddenly, Dongzi was a little confused. Maki continued blushing, "That's a good thing." "what?" Maki said again, "Man." "Ah, that's it." After hearing this, Dongzi smiled and scratched Maki's nose suddenly. "A week ago, I suddenly understood." "Really." "I've contradicted you before, I'm so sorry." "Don't say that kind of thing." Dongzi said with a smile. "But I was ignorant before." "That's not the case. It's not just the woman's responsibility to not understand." "Yeah, I only found out through him this time." "Who is she?" "It's a photographer, not yet 30 years old, very gentle." After Maki and Kida broke up, she knew sexual joy from this man. "Have I changed?" Maki said shyly. "Yeah, so it looks like an adult." "So happy." It has been raining in Tokyo for two days. Amity seems to be worried, but Maki is smiling all day long.The person she loves makes her happy, maybe that's why she's happy. It's uncomfortable being gay to see this kind of physical change.It can't be said that Dongzi doesn't have that kind of thinking. Dongzi thought again, a woman's body is really incredible. The next time it rains, summer is one step away, and the sky seems to be higher. One afternoon in autumn, when Dongzi was changing the hat in the window, a young man appeared in front of him. The young man's name is Nakao, and he is a friend of Funatsu in Los Angeles. "Funatsu-kun asked me to bring you something." Dongzi took him to the "Mimosa Pavilion". The two sat on the seats a little further back and ordered two cups of coffee.Nakao took out a paper bag from his carry bag. "Funatsu asked me to bring you this." "For me?" "Yes, you can open it and have a look." Dongzi took it out in surprise and put it on her chest. It was a thin chain with a black diamond in front and gold plating around it. "Are you going back to America?" Dongzi asked. "I plan to go back in half a month." "If you see Funatsu, tell him, I'm happy." "Hearing you often from him, you are as handsome as I imagined." "What, I'm an old woman now." Dongzi said with a smile. "How is Funatsu?" "Very well, he's probably used to life there. Recently, he's often been going to and from the research office of the architect 'Wixon' by himself." "Do you work there?" "No, just study, he works very hard." Toko was very happy to hear that the young Funatsu had learned new knowledge abroad, but felt that he was too far away from her. "The place where he lives seems to have changed." Dongzi asked. Nakao nodded. "He lived in the former teacher's place, so I'm not ashamed. This time the place is measured in Japanese way, it has two bedrooms and one living room, which is very good." "Live there, it will be difficult financially." "His family is rich, they're brewers. There's enough money for a house like that." "It's so difficult for someone like him to have to wait to send money." "Yes. But it would be a disaster if his father came to visit." "What's the matter?" "Let's be honest, he's living with a woman in America now." "Funatsu?" "It's a girl from the German department, not very pretty, Funatsu took her to his room." "Have a relationship?" "Of course. It's probably because I left Japan and felt lonely." "..." "When I first arrived in the United States, I had no time to choose, but later I felt that any woman is good." What is it like?Toko couldn't imagine Funatsu being with a woman in a foreign country. "It's really worrying to be able to still look like a child." Although Dongzi reminded Funatsu to get in touch with foreign heterosexuals in the previous letter, she still hopes that that kind of thing will not happen to Funatsu.Even in foreign countries, I hope that Funatsu will still be the same as Funatsu when I was in Japan. But now what Nakao said is true, Funatsu has really changed. "Is it hurting you to tell you this kind of thing?" "No." In a foreign country, Funatsu may miss Fuyuko very much, but he seems to be very free in his actions. "Then is he going to marry?" "I don't think I'll get married. But recently, Japanese men have started recruiting. Maybe he'll fall in." Dongzi started recruiting again.He might fall into it. Dongren began not to understand men again.So innocent Funatsu was fascinated by women as soon as he arrived abroad, so what was the love he expressed to Dongzi before? "I already have someone I like over there, but why would you give me a gift?" "No, there is a difference. He still likes you the most." "But he still loves that woman?" "It's not love, it's just a play for the moment." "What does that mean?" "Living abroad alone is also very difficult..." "But it's still incomprehensible." "yes." "This is a sign of disloyalty." After speaking, Dongzi felt that he had gone too far, so he said again: "But, if he is happy, I am also happy." "Yes, he is a cheerful person, and he may change when he arrives in America." Anyway, Toko only saw one side of Funatsu.Only in front of Dongzi, Funatsu seemed a little shy. Apart from these, he also possessed the generosity and cheerfulness that ordinary young people possess. "Then, I'll take my leave first. Do you want to convey something to him?" Nakao said, picking up the handbag next to him. "Hmm..." Dongzi looked out the window. "Tell him to take care and tell him I'm fine." "understood." "Thank you for the necklace he gave me." "Definitely convey it." Nakao nodded. "Goodbye, then." With that, he walked out with an unforgettable smile. On the third day of meeting with Nakao, Toko received a call from Mrs. Nakayama. "Tonight, please come." Madam said. "Tomorrow, I happen to be going to do some errands nearby, by the way..." "No, it doesn't matter if you are late, you must come tonight." Madam spoke as if ordering. Today, Dongzi has done a lot of work in the store, so she is really tired.But she still rushed to Mrs. Daikanyama's house at 9 o'clock. The lady was wearing a fringe dress with a large flower pattern, and her face was still slightly drunk. "Hey, have you heard that Zhutian is missing." Before Dongzi could sit still, the lady said. "why?" “他没说，给店里打电话时，他已经走了。” “那公寓呢？” “3天前就搬走了。” “一点儿也不知道吗？” “什么都没对我说突然失踪了。” 真是微妙，这事对冬子来说是不可理解。 “一定是带着年轻女人跑的，是受了她的挑唆。” "But……" “怪不得我觉得这个月，他有点坐卧不宁。一定是这件事搞的。” 夫人说着用拳头砸了一下桌面。 “不行，我受不了。”说完，喊着“我不信。”突然用手捂住脸哭了起来。 "lady……" 冬子劝着她，可夫人还是哭，只是叫着失踪男人的名字。“为什么一句都不对找说呢，怎么就扔下我走了。” 40多岁了，到了这个年龄，感情还那么专一，冬子真佩服夫人。可现在也只好等夫人心情平静下来了。 “我不信，我不信！”夫人还在叫着。 “没用，主要是他把我甩了。”说着，夫人含着眼泪喝了一口白兰地。 哭了一会儿，夫人平静下来了。她用手绢擦眼泪，然后站在镜子前，化了一点妆，转过身来喝了一口白兰地。 “真是的，我怎么尽说混账话，这么大岁数了，竟追起年轻小伙了。” 夫人放下酒杯，突然笑了起来。 “你怎么一声不吭啊。” “挺难开口的，说不好也许又会惹来麻烦。你们从来没争吵过吗？” “他性格懦弱，一和我面对面就什么也说不出来了。” “连一句也没有……” “这样也好，他乐我也乐，各行其道。” 夫人说着，精神振奋起来了。拿起白兰地：“想想吧，手术之后，在他的鼓励下，失去自信的我又振奋起来了；他在我的帮助下，也树起了自信心。” “自信心？” “认识我之前，他什么都不知道。年轻、性情也很暴躁，楞在我的引导下，他终于变成了一个男子汉。所以，他现在无论到哪很能行。” “如果想想他年轻，我也就没什么说的了。” “夫人还会遇到好人的。”冬子劝道。 “够了，我可得好好休息了。” 说着，夫人长长地叹了一口气。 “男人和女人之间的事真让人头疼。我可够了。” 虽然嘴上说的很硬，但夫人好象很沮丧，又撩了撩头发说：“还是女人间可信赖呀。” 冬子听到这儿也想到了船津，他在某种意义上说也是背弃了自己，在这一点上是和竹田之流一样的。船津在美国这块生疏的土地上，虽然也是没办法才那么做的，可冬子却不能原谅他。 “男人就是看着这个，又想着那个，一点儿也不可靠。” 夫人看着冬子，“你最近过的很好吧？” “怎么说呢。” “不说我也知道。脸色和以前就不一样了，一定有好事。” “什么呀，不是的……” “你不愿意和我这个老太婆在一起吧？” "Nothing." “不是勉强的就好。我的直觉是很敏感的。”说完，夫人就目不转睛地看着冬子。 “你还很年轻，还可以再快活快活；我就不行了，该退下去了。” 说到这儿，好象又想起了什么。“你听说过男性女性化这个词吗？” 冬子以前听说过，但让她细说一下，就讲不太明白了。 想了一会儿，还是夫人笑着说。“这个词是从时髦地带传过来的，是指男女不分，是中性人。” “有那种人吗？” “实际上有没有另当别论，可有这种人不太好。” "yes." “总之，我可让男女之间的事搞惨了，还不如早点变成老太婆，心里还平静些。” “夫人还是很年轻的。” “已经不行了。我的一些朋友也已到了更年期。快变成不是女人的人了。” "That……" “真的，我也开始没有了，也没办法。” 被男人抛弃后的夫人，变得开通起来。 “你从不认为男人是多么讨厌吗？当然你还年轻，有魅力，也不会这么想啊。” "That's not the case." “有魅力和很富有是暂时的，到最后男人还是会把你抛弃的。” 夫人说完，醉眼惺松地看着冬子。 “女人终归是女人呀。” Dongzi nodded.这时，夫人将与身体不相称的过于娇嫩的手轻轻放在了桌上。手指甲上涂着红指甲油，但手上也有皱纹了。 “握住我的手。” 冬子听了，很困惑的望着夫人。 “紧紧握住我的手。”夫人加重了口气，冬子慢慢将手伸了出去。夫人突然拉起冬子的手站起来。这突如其来的动作，使冬子踉跄了一下，夫人紧握着她的手敏捷地拉住她。说了说“站稳……”另一只手却搭在她的肩头，脸慢慢地挨近了冬子的脸。 瞬间，冬子象让人突然浇了一桶冷水一样，打了个冷战，马上把脸转向了一边。 “怎么了？”夫人问。 "..." “你讨厌我吗？” 夫人的右手又伸了过来，抚摸着冬子的脖子；冬子急忙退了一步，同时摇了摇头。 “我想回去了。”冬子说。 “怎么了？怎么这么急？” "I still have something to do." 冬子拿起放在椅子上的手提包，向门口走去。 “冬子，怎么回事？我得罪你了吗？”夫人在后面追着问。 "..." “等等我。” 冬子顾不上夫人的呼喊，穿上鞋，就走出大门。 出来后冬子跑了100多米，估计夫人追不上了，她才站住。然后，象打扫灰尘一样，用手狠狠地擦了一下脖子。 也不知为什么，突然从夫人哪儿出来了。以前虽然也不愿意去夫人那里，可最后还都是去了。只有今天，当夫人挨近她时，她突然感到毛骨悚然。觉得好象有几只毛毛虫爬上来似的。Why? 夫人和以前也没什么变化呀，穿一件大花连衣裙也是经常的事。脸上也化妆得很漂亮。 虽然年龄比较大了，但夫人还是很注意外表的。热情与活泼程度与平时都没有区别。 只是夫人今天受到被竹田抛弃的刺激，心里有些激动。夫人情绪上的波动也是常事，也就不那么吃惊了。可不知为什么，今天她一挨近自己，冬子就觉得全身发抖。 冬子心里暗想，是夫人让自己讨厌了吗？还是她身体接触自己就不那么亲密了。夫人接近自己就受不了，这倒是事实。 今晚的事，也许与夫人无关，而是自己的原因。夫人和平时是一样的，而自己倒显得不正常。 如果……冬子放慢了脚步，走到了路灯下，这才有点清醒过来了。 我已经不需要她了吗？ 冬子的脑海里又浮现出了船津的身影。 坦率地说，她现在不希望夫人来拥抱自己，只要有贵志就可以了。有了他，冬子的身心就可以满足了。 这么说，没有夫人也可以了……因为只是在一时的寂寞中，才去了夫人那儿，并不是真心的。也许只是为了满足自己治愈后的身心才进行的一种游戏吧。 恢复性喜悦后，夫人就已经没有必要了。和夫人比起来，还是和贵志更贴近一些。刚想到这儿，冬子就被自己的这些想法惊呆了，并为自己变成这样而不可思议。 9月中旬到9月末，冬子大约每天都要工作到晚上1O点了。 工作尽量不拿回家去干，留在店里的设计室里。友美和真纪也拼命地干着。 就在这段繁忙的时间里，冬子还是和贵志见了三次面。 三次中有两次两人去了以前去过了那个饭店。第三次，是在冬子公寓。 这三次都是在工作结束之后，已过夜里1O点了。 以前冬子过于疲劳，第二天是很难受的。可那天晚上，冬子很快就睡着了，第二天醒后精神也很好。 “最近你的身体好多了。”贵志好象很了解冬子平时的身体状况。 “那个地方也好多了。” 贵志用恶作剧似的眼光看着冬子。 这种腔调真叫人讨厌。 最近一个时期，每次见面，冬子都觉得有一种羞耻感。 “以前冷淡的感觉到哪去了呢？”冬子这么吃惊地说着。 “以前想得太多了吧？”贵志说。 "have no idea." “医生说什么了？” "Nothing." “在大阪的朋友也说那是由于精神上的作用。” “你打听那件事了？” “可医生说这个原因很复杂，很难诊断清楚。” 确实，医生说过，手术之后，身体没有什么变化，当然对别的也没什么影响。 “你总认为手术后就不是女人了。特别是你总觉得手术不应该做，手术摘除了自己最宝贵的东西。如果你总这么想下去的话，就会更严重了。” 贵志的这些推理说法好象没什么不对的。 “话是这么说，可这次你又感觉很好，这是为什么呢？” "..." “过去认为手术是错误的，也许如果疑问消失，病症也就治愈了吧？” “不是的。”冬子把头摇了摇。 "Then what is it?" "have no idea." “好了，不想了。” “怎么回事呀。真让人弄不懂。” “我也糊涂了。”贵志从床上坐了起来。 “给你煮杯咖啡吧。”冬子又说。 "Ok." 于是，冬子整了整头发，走进了厨房。 “船津君来信，过得好象很快活。”贵志站在煮着咖啡的冬子身后说。 冬子没答话，把咖啡递给了贵志。 “晚上的咖啡，真香甜呀。”贵志喝了一口接着说：“我想明年结婚。” “又说这个了……” “再等等我。” “我觉得现在这样就很幸福。” “我可没那么幸福。” “你真有意思。” 冬子微笑着摇了摇头。 贵志慢慢地喝着咖啡。 冬子看着刚刚拥抱过她的宽阔的双肩，那时，抚摸过她的那只手现在正拿着杯子。 "What's wrong?" “没什么。”听到贵志的问话，冬子慌忙将日光从贵志的手上移开。 "really interesting." “是有意思啊……” 象鹦鹉学舌一样，冬子也嘟囔了一句。 “明天我去关西，住3天，回来后再给你来电话。” “注意点身体。” “好，走了。” “再见！” 冬子大声说道，等贵志身影消失后才把门关上。 走在外面水泥路上的足音消失了，冬子才又躺在了床上。 虽然刚刚和贵志分手，可不知为什么，冬子非常留恋贵志的身体。甚至想把贵志遗留在床上的气息全部收集起来。 已经好久没有过这种心情了。 冬子在想着重新获得的新生的身体。在获得新的爱情的同时，又添了一份烦恼。