Chapter 3 Chapter Three

From the perspective of foreign women, women in Japan don't wear hats.Even if you wear it occasionally, it is a large cap similar to a beret or a golf cap. People who wear feminine hats like Closcher and Chiplin seldom see them. Hats are even rarer. The hat itself was considered a luxury item as an adornment of dresses and coats.For this reason, once the hat is put on, there is a harsh feeling that makes people stop and stare.The tradition of prudent, conservative clothing kept flamboyant hats at arm's length. In foreign countries, there is a hat specialty store in the main shopping street, but in Japan it is almost impossible to see it. Even if it is sold occasionally, it is only in a part of the clothing store or a corner of the department store, barely occupying a small space.

"Can you live on hats?" When leaving the store, Takashi was very worried for Toko.Indeed, his concerns are not unreasonable, and now the main big head is clothing. Fewer women seem to be wearing hats even in Europe in recent years.There are many reasons for saying that hats are relics of the nineteenth century, beauty covered with hair, etc. Anyway, the future prospects will not be so bright. Although making hats is not profitable, Dongzi still likes to make her own designs and make forging belts in the workshop.It is also a kind of enjoyment and joy to decorate the hats made by yourself in the display window.Although there is no obvious season for decorative hats, they are still the best selling seasons from autumn to winter.Maybe due to the recession this year, orders for the high-end products have decreased slightly, and the mid-range products are not bad.In fact, mid-range products don't take too much effort and sell quickly. Stores like Dongzi are more willing to produce them.

However, the hats produced are only sold in small stores in Harajuku, and the sales will inevitably be limited. I still hope that department stores or large stores can wholesale them directly.Now, most of them are wholesaled to S Department Store in Ginza. Originally, S Department Store was a Kansai department store, and Tokyo only had Ginza.Because it has a strong relationship with clothing, there are not only economic reasons for wholesale hats here, but it also plays a big role in improving the reputation of the store.However, the hats from Dongzi for S Department Store are only a small part of the hats sold by S Department Store, and Dongzi's products are limited to mid-range and high-end products.Insignificant on the S department store total.Even so, it was an unusual amount for Toko.On this issue, Dongzi got the support of Kida, a buyer in the clothing department of S department store.

Generally, a newly opened small store cannot enter a first-class department store, but the lucky Toko was warmly invited and encouraged by Kida.Dongzi was very happy, and her meticulous work received unexpected praise. Since then, there have been new accounts for regular purchases.It's all thanks to Kida.When the cash flow was difficult in the first year of opening the store, he rescued Dongzi. Sometimes, the delivery was delayed due to other orders, but he didn't go into details. It is a little exaggerated to say that Fuyuko's store can be maintained to the present point, thanks to Kida.Although Toko wanted to interpret Kida's kindness as the result of acknowledging her own work, frankly speaking, it was not limited to this.It is true that Dongzi does exquisite things such as forging belts and hat brims, but Dongzi does not necessarily do much better than other shops in the most basic places such as cutting and sewing.Kida's enthusiasm can't rule out his personal kindness to Fuyuko.In fact, Kida has invited Fuyuko to dinner many times.Originally Dongzi asked him for help, and Dongzi should entertain him, but Kida must pay for it himself, even if Dongzi said, "Let me pay this time." Honda would never agree.It didn't matter at first, but after the second or third time, Dongzi felt heavy.

From the outside, Kida is a gentle and handsome man.Although he is not tall, he is thin and energetic. He usually wears very neat clothes and is meticulous from head to toe.If you want to be the director of the clothing department, it may be a matter of course to pay attention to dressing.She wears silver-rimmed glasses on her nose, and her hair is slightly curly.He was thirty-five years old, had a daughter, but at first glance seemed single. Half a year ago, when Dongzi was drunk, she kissed Kida. That night, Fuyuko was invited by Kida to have dinner at a restaurant on the boulevard in Ginza.After eating, when she went to Roppongi No. 2 underground bar, Fuyuko felt a little drunk.There was a piano in the middle of the bar, and there were two or three couples dancing on the very narrow floor around it.The dim lighting made it almost impossible for the people sitting to see each other's faces clearly.For dancing, Toko was afraid that she would be unable to support herself, but she was invited by Kida to stand up.The two danced several dances in a row, and gradually Dongzi could feel the man's hot breath next to his ears.For some reason, Dongzi suddenly wanted to make fun of it.Just when Kida was about to turn his face away, she seemed to be waiting at the side, and kissed Kida's lips all of a sudden.

The kiss was at that moment, and then Dongzi immediately turned his face away, and returned to the seat as soon as the dance music was over.Afterwards, he left the hotel and returned directly to the apartment. Since then, although I have met Kida several times, I haven't mentioned that matter.Dongzi thought, that was just a temporary illusion, and it would never happen again. However, even though it was only for a moment, it was a fact that Dongzi accepted Kida's kiss. Although she turned her face away immediately, it was true that Dongzi was immersed in a sweet feeling at that moment.

That's why... I don't really like Kida, if I didn't dance, it wouldn't have happened.When dancing, being hugged by Kida, my mood naturally softened. Is it because of being drunk... This may also be a reason.The gloomy atmosphere in the hotel was also a factor. No one paid attention to who wanted to do what. Perhaps it was this indifferent atmosphere that made Dongzi bold. However, despite this, Toko didn't accept Kida's kiss so sincerely.Maybe Touko was asking for something at that moment, and at that moment, she forgot that it was Kida who was hugging her, and was only engrossed in that atmosphere.Fuyuko's mind went blank, and she unconsciously accepted Kida's kiss.So it was not the current Dongzi, but another Dongzi, and it was not Kida who was kissing her, but the atmosphere in the bar, the alcohol and the weak body, which had nothing to do with Dongzi's will.

Whatever the reason, a kiss really sparked Kida's love.Since then, Kida has increased his order, decorated the ordered hats in a conspicuous place, and told Fuyuko to hold a fashion show.You can often see him in stores in Harajuku, giving advice on the position of the display windows and display methods, just like the owner of the store. Indeed, in business, Toko has received Kida's careful care, and for Toko, Kida is now an indispensable figure.But as a man, Dongzi is unwilling to associate with him.Even if he expressed his gratitude to Kida for his kindness, he couldn't consider it as an object of love.

Hate it, hate it, but unfortunately, the shadow of Guizhi has not disappeared from Dongzi's mind.Since I still miss a man, how can I love another man so simply. After the uterus was removed, Dongzi seemed to have taken a reassurance.From now on, I will no longer be a woman, but live as a designer.Regardless of appearance, her body is no longer a coquettish woman, and the possibility of getting married and having children is lost forever.From this point of view, it is also necessary to reconsider and design the way of life in the future. In this regard, Dongzi himself was also very frightened and indecisive.What is annoying is that once even wanted to reconcile with Kishi who had broken up.It's really cowardly, why can't you refuse categorically?At that time, I was in a state of anxiety before going to the hospital. I wanted to seek support from Takashi, but I was also worried that the operation would damage my body. In addition, I wanted to show Takashi my intact body.This caused Dongzi to become impulsive with a turbulent passion whenever she was alone.If you insist on finding a reason, there are many reasons, but this does not understand the act of giving your body to Guizhi, and giving your body to someone who has broken up with him, it can only prove that he is still reluctant to part with him.

Now calm down and think about it, breaking up with Guizhi at that time may have been a little bit reluctant, no matter whether I was still attached to him or not, I just decided to break up hastily because of the temporary feelings, and even reprimanded him like a cannonball. I also don't want to see a man who dominates his wife and lover at the same time.At that time, they broke up angrily like that. However, Dongzi is troubled by other thoughts now.She wondered if removing the uterus would lead to personality changes.The nature of the timid woman in the past is lost, will it become more like a man's open-mindedness?

After entering December, most people walking on the sidewalk put on coats.The shade trees that used to be red, yellow, and all kinds of colors have also lost their leaves, and above the bare treetops is the gray cold sky on the horizon.Sooner or later, there is some early winter chill. However, Dongzi occasionally has an illusion that it seems to be the end of summer.Why is this... Dongzi thought for a while, and found that it was because of Yoyogi Forest.When I entered the store, the Yoyogi forest I saw seemed to have a lot of evergreen trees like fir trees, and even in the snowy days of winter, they still had green leaves. Walking on the tree-lined road full of fallen leaves, whenever I see this forest, Dongzi seems to return from the bleakness in late autumn to the bustling and lively summer.Indeed, there is a green tranquility in this forest.But in autumn there are red leaves in autumn, and, as the autumn mood deepens, the leaves are still falling, this is the so-called nature.In nature, the joys and sorrows of the seasons are distinct. Putting this aside, in fact, as long as you look at the people walking on the road in the store, you will naturally realize the change of seasons. A few days ago, leather sports jackets, boots, and baggy clothes that looked like maternity clothes were popular on the streets, and young people in break-dancing clothes were also strutting along the streets.Now the center of fashion has long been fur, with a hooded trench coat, sweater and boots. Most of the people who wear fur are young people, so the quality of fur is relatively poor, at most it is rabbit fur and sheepskin, and high-end fur like mink is rare.Despite this, young people will use their own ingenuity to highlight the personality of the clothes, making Harajuku's fashion colorful. Dongzi approves of the clothing of young people who boldly express what they like.However, Maki is very disapproving. "In Harajuku these days, these people are all shambling country bumpkins with fashion magazines in their hands." Maki, who has lived in Harajuku since high school, seems to hate the flamboyant people who think that only Lao Tzu is the most fashionable Harajuku. Clothes, "The advantage of Harajuku is that there are row upon row of shops, allowing people to walk in and out casually wearing everyday clothes. Now there are so many buildings and big stores in Harajuku, and people in rich clothes go in and out. It’s the same as Ginza.” Indeed, with the recent increase in luxury shops and buildings, Harajuku's small, elegant and chic advantages have been lost. The second time Guizhi called was on the afternoon of the first Monday in December.The setting sun in the Yoyogi forest in the west dyed the windows of Fuyuko's shop red. "How about it, okay?" "Thanks to you." Dongzi replied, looking at the red-dyed glass pane. "I invite you to dinner tonight." "Are you going here?" "inconvenient?" There is nothing important tonight, if you plan to meet, it is not impossible to meet.But after all, it was too sudden. If a woman is going on a date, she should be prepared accordingly. Although she doesn't need to dress up, she still hopes to go to the date with the clothes and hairstyle she likes.Today Dongzi just casually wore a knitted dress and a flannel coat with vertical stripes, and a mink fur shawl around this newly worn half-cash coat. "After being discharged from the hospital, we haven't had a good get-together. Last time we talked about traveling to Kyushu, but we didn't make it." Dongzi has always been concerned about traveling, but she is not dissatisfied with Guizhi's procrastination.She herself felt embarrassed to go on a trip with Takashi in such a body. "Around 7 o'clock, I'll pick you up from your place." "No, wait for me somewhere." If possible, Fuyuko would not want to meet Takashi in the store.Although there is nothing inappropriate for Kishi, but Toko always shows a submissive attitude towards him, she doesn't want Maki and Tomomi to see her so weak. "Then, at a 'Mimosa House' near you." "Okay..." Dongzi hesitated to speak.I'm going to meet Kishi again.There was a reason to ask him to introduce the hospital last time we met, but this time there is no reason. Isn't it like a broken mirror reunited again? "That's 7 o'clock." Speaking of this, Gui Zhixiang suddenly remembered, "That's it, I want to take Funatsu to." "why?" "That guy likes you very much. The three of us are here to congratulate you on your recovery." Guizhi always only cares about himself when doing things, and doesn't consider Dongzi's mood at all. "Really together?" "He's not here now, take him after get off work." After Guizhi finished speaking, he hung up the phone. To meet Takashi again... Toko was surprised.But this meeting is to congratulate the recovery.She found a new excuse. Before 7 o'clock, Fuyuko was preparing to go out, when Funatsu suddenly came to the store. "Hey, do you work here?" It is true that I will meet the three of you at the "Mimosa House".Dongzi showed a surprised look. "I'm here to greet you on behalf of the director." "meet?" "The director said that because it was to celebrate the recovery, he simply congratulated in the living room, and he booked a room in Tsukiji. The director said that he went there directly from the company." "..." "Also, if it's convenient, a few people from the shop will go too..." "With everyone?" Dongzi looked back at Maki and Tomomi standing beside her. "'Fu Yuan' is a place that does a good job of fugu dishes, go for it." "It's roughly a table for five people, and the table has been reserved." "Speaking of Tsukiji, this is my first time going there." When Maki said this, Tomomi nodded in agreement. As it happened, we had to go together. "Then, let's go." "That's great, can the store close?" "Yes, although it is a little early, there is no way." Maki and Tomomi quickly go to the workshop to change clothes.Dongzi was a little unhappy when he heard the noise of the two.This is exactly Guizhi's way of doing whatever he wants, which has caused Dongzi to be passive. "Is there anything unpleasant?" Funatsu seemed to have noticed Dongzi's emotions. "Oh, nothing." "How are you?" "Very good. Thank you for taking care of me when I went to the hospital." Thinking about it carefully, meeting Funatsu was the first time after being discharged from the hospital. "The display window has changed a bit." "Yes, the hat for you is being made now, in time for Christmas." "Is it really for me?" "It will definitely fit." After Dongzi finished speaking, Maki and Tomomi walked out of the workshop wearing coats. When the four arrived at Tsukiji by car, Takashi was already waiting there. "Ah, please come in." Guizhi greeted him, "You are the guest of honor today, please sit here." He asked Dongzi to sit in front of the alcove. "No, just here." "Today is my treat." Back and forth, and finally Fuyuko was surrounded by Maki and Tomomi and sat in the upper seat in front of the alcove. When "Shi Luoxiu" opened, Takashi went to the store once, but for Maki and Tomomi, it was like meeting for the first time. "This is Miss Satomura Maki and Miss Ono Tomomi." After Dongzi introduced Xian, Guizhi lowered his head and said, "Guizhi." "Today I want to congratulate Honouchi-kun on his recovery. It would be better if there are more people. Let's all drink fin wine, okay?" The three women looked at each other, it was their first time at Tsukiji's restaurant and fin wine, and they seemed a little nervous. "Eating fugu is better than wine." Soon the fin wine was brought in, and everyone cheered together. "Congratulations on your recovery." After Guizhi finished speaking, everyone said together: "congratulations." "Thank you." Dongzi thanked, but her heart was not calm.I never thought that I would congratulate myself on my recovery in this way.Takashi is so indifferent, is it a malicious joke... What is important is how Maki and Tomomi will view the relationship between Takashi and Toko.Occasionally, I received a call from Guizhi and chatted with Mrs. Zhongshan. They may know that Guizhi and Dongzi have contacts, and that Guizhi is a famous architect.Even so, they will still wonder why Kishi entertained him like this.On the surface, she is honest and honest, but the young girl's intuition is very sensitive.They must be full of curiosity, watching the attitude of Takashi and Touko. No matter how I think about it, I don't understand Takashi's intentions.In the future, when there are only two people left, ask him again... Although Dongzi glared at Kishi, Kishi still drank happily nonchalantly. "Hey, eat. When the weather is cold, puffer fish is the best." The honest girls immediately began to pick up puffer fish fillets.The smell of orange juice is wafting. "You guys are good at drinking." "No, not as good as the proprietress." "The lady boss isn't that powerful, is she?" "yes?" Dongzi smiled bitterly, but he didn't want to laugh at all. After the blowfish fillet, came the blowfish hot pot.The puffer fish hot pot here has fish roe in the soup, which has a strong sticky taste. "It's delicious." Maki and others ate desperately.While pouring the wine, Guizhi happily watched how they were eating. For some reason, Dongzi couldn't calm down. She accidentally put her hand into the wine, and her skin tingled, as if she had drunk wine. "Which buildings has Mr. Takashi designed?" The girls started from such a topic, and asked about recent European buildings, popular buildings, etc., and Takashi answered them one by one in an easy-going way. "I also want to go once." Tomomi said. "If you write a letter of introduction and let them be your guide, it will be convenient and save money." "Okay, then I want to go even more." "It's best to see it while you're young." "Yes, absolutely correct." The girls nodded in agreement. Rather than congratulating Dongzi on his recovery, it is more like a gathering between Takashi and the girls. He was also very happy to see a young girl. It is really puzzling that he would be interested in such a young girl.Thinking of this, Dongzi suddenly felt that she was jealous, and her mood became depressed. In fact, Guizhi has nothing to do with Maki and Tomomi's concern, and it has nothing to do with him.Even though I thought so, I still couldn't calm down. Guizhi seemed to be aware of Dongzi's emotions, and greeted her: "You, don't you want to drink?" "I'm drinking." Although he wanted to answer dissatisfied, his voice was unintentionally cold. After the puffer fish hot pot, came the puffer fish chowder, which also has caviar flavor, which is delicious.But Dongzi may have no appetite at all because he drank too much. Maki and Tomomi had a strong appetite, and after eating the chowder, they cleaned up the clear water and yokan. "It's so delicious. I'm done eating." Maki and Tomomi said at the same time. "Well, let's go get something to drink now." "Yeah, that's great. Can we go too?" "Of course. Funatsu-kun, call a taxi." After Kishi finished speaking, he lit his cigarette and stood up.Leaving Tsukiji, I went to an underground bar called "Masquerade Party" in Ginza.The bar is not too big. There is a piano very close to the entrance, and the seats are arranged in a circle, surrounding the open space in front of the piano.Guizhi seems to come here often, and the manager greeted him very well, and brought a bottle of wine. In the past, Kishi mainly went to Akasaka and Roppongi, but recently it seems that he often comes to Ginza as well. All the glasses were filled with whiskey, and they all raised their glasses and shouted: "Congratulations, congratulations." Only then did everyone turn to Fuyuko, but after the clinking of glasses, they went back to talking to each other. The two girls were still talking with Guizhi enthusiastically. As for what they were talking about, because it was covered by the sound of the piano, Dongzi couldn't hear clearly, and Guizhi smiled happily. Dongzi drank alone.After she drank fin wine, now she drinks whiskey and water, she will not be drunk.The strange thing is that just as Dongzi thought of this question, his mind unexpectedly cleared up, perhaps because he was unhappy. In this case, maybe you will get drunk after a while.Dongzi put down his cup and wanted to smoke.When she took out the cigarettes from the box, Funatsu immediately lit the lighter for her. "thanks." "Is there something wrong?" "Oh, nothing." "I always feel that you are not in a good spirit." Dongzi diverted the words: "Oh, dancing?" "And me?" "you are not willing?" "No. Not with the director?" "He can't dance. Come on." Funatsu looked at the dance floor in embarrassment.In the narrow space in front of the piano, a man and a woman are dancing slowly. "I can dance." "a little……" "bring it on." Funatsu was urged to stand up by Fuyuko. "I'll dance a little bit." Despite standing up, Funatsu greeted Kishi. "Oh, the proprietress can dance?" The two girls applauded together. Fuyuko was paired with Funatsu in the dark corner next to the piano. "Do you have to ask the director for instructions when you dance?" "No, but..." "There is no up and down at the banquet." Dongzi said as she moved her face closer, and Funatsu's temples were right in front of her eyes. After dancing a song, Dongzi suddenly felt the energy of drinking surge, and the emotions that had been restrained all the time seemed to explode. What do the girls think about the relationship between Dongzi and Takashi?It's not good if you know the intimate relationship between them and talk about it.Anyway, the girls don't know nothing about it. "Next time it's just the two of us." "Us?" Funatsu looked at Dongzi in surprise.Surprised and a little shy because of the unexpected. "Call me." "Ok……" "It's fine at home." Funatsu nodded while looking at Kishi.Kishi is still engrossed in talking with Maki and Tomomi. "Later today, send me off." "Ugh……" "It's the same place." Seeing Funatsu's embarrassment, Toko gradually became happier.For some reason, Funatsu has a cuteness that can make women play tricks on him. "But, Director..." Dongzi followed the chaotic dance steps and leaned gently on Funatsu's shoulder.Although I think it's a bit too much to play a prank, but I can really feel a soft heart by Funatsu's side. "Let's go," Guizhi and the others shouted after 30 minutes, "It's 11 o'clock." "Oh, it's already 11 o'clock?" Maki exclaimed regretfully. When I put on my coat and went outside, it was raining lightly.It was rainy at night and sunny during the day. "Hey, where are you going?" "I'm going to Yoyogi Uehara." "I'm going to Nakano." Maki and Tomomi spoke one by one. "Then, Funatsu-kun will send them off." "me?" "We're going to another family." After Kishi finished speaking, he shook hands with Maki Tomomi. "I……" "Ah, all right." Dongzi stopped and didn't move.Kishiri ignored him and walked towards the empty car parked in front of the building. "thanks for your hospitality." "Good night." Maki and Tomomi waved goodbye, but Funatsu stood there with a distracted expression. The car quickly started in the light rain.Kishi took out a cigarette from his coat and lit it with a lighter. "where to?" "Let's go to Roppongi." "I plan to go back." "It's only 11 o'clock." "You do this to embarrass me." "What's up?" "It's just the two of us, and they'll be surprised." "It's okay." Kishi smiled bitterly. "Why are the girls suddenly screaming today. I thought it was just the two of us." "It's okay to entertain them once in a while." "However, today is very strange. You have no reason to entertain them. I don't want the girls I hire to know things they shouldn't know." "Didn't you tell them nothing?" "Although they didn't say it, their intuition is very sensitive." Guizhi didn't speak.Dongzi felt that what she said just now was a bit too much, so she further explained: "Because I am a hired person, once they see that I am unexpectedly weak, they will not listen to me well." "..." "If you also tell Funatsu about you and me, wouldn't it be hard to send me?" "No, I don't care." "However, Funatsu is a very scheming young man." "Really." "Anyway, I hate it." "Understood," Kishi looked out the window as if saying "it's ready".Still a very arbitrary person. "It's really weird." "what?" "It's nothing." Dongzi denied while restraining her unhappiness. She understood why she obeyed Guizhi again. Roppongi can be said to be the hometown of Guishi.It has been nearly ten years since he opened the office. He often goes to drink at the boundary between Roppongi and Akasaka, so he is very familiar with the situation here. After descending from Naimi Slope, Guizhi climbed to the third floor of the white building on the left.This place looks like an ordinary apartment, with the "Konosu" door sign hanging at the entrance.Once inside, a young girl was greeted. "Is there a seat?" Kishi asked. The girl nodded with a smile on her face. Beside the imported coat hanger, there is a small window, and the door on the side is opened. Inside is a room nearly 20 tatami mats wide, and the floor is covered with blue carpets.The light is dim, leaning against the wall, with soft seats, and eight tables are placed in front of each seat.There were nearly ten guests inside, and there were only orange lights like candles on the table, and the faces of the guests could hardly be seen clearly. Kishi and Toko came in and sat down side by side in the left corner. "What drink do you want?" "Brandy." "understood." The girl who had led them in just now nodded and walked out. Gentle and emotional music came from nowhere in the room, and after a while, people's voices could be faintly heard.There is neither lively noise nor busy waiters here. When you call the waiter for more wine, you just need to press the switch next to the table. "Is this a hotel?" "Ah, if it's called a hotel it's a hotel, if it's not called it's not." "The door looks like an ordinary house." "A membership system will be implemented." After Guizhi finished speaking, he touched Dongzi's glass with a brandy glass, "Congratulations on your recovery." "Thank you..." Dongzi lowered his head slowly and thought, is Takashi planning to congratulate the two of them from now on? That's really a detour. "Is it all ready?" "Ok." "Won't it relapse?" "It's all been cut off." Kishi nodded.Perhaps Takashi thought that all the fibroids had been removed.And Dongzi's series of products means that even the uterus is cut off together.Although the content is somewhat different, it is the same whether or not to relapse. "Anyway, it's better to do it sooner." "thanks to you." "Surgery, when is it?" "Almost two months." "That's reassuring." Kishi put his hand on Dongzi's shoulder.Just being with Takashi softens Dongzi's mood, coupled with the soft music and quiet atmosphere in the dim light, it makes Dongzi feel relaxed and gentle.She had already forgotten the displeasure with Maki, Tomomi, and Funatsu. "What grade is the older child in?" "It's the second year of middle school." "It's cute?" "No..." Perhaps thinking about Dongzi, Takashi replied coldly.As Dongzi, there is no need to worry about that. About 30 minutes later, Guizhi said, "Let's go." "what time is it?" "12 o'clock." Kishi stood up as if he wanted to exchange seats with a new customer. At the exit, the beautiful girl just now sent them out with a smile.When she went out, she only said "thank you", and didn't say back and forth.The indifferent style may be the advantage of such a club. Outside, the sky cleared in the cold wind. Dongzi lifted up the collar of his coat, and the two climbed up the gentle ramp side by side. "It's okay." "But, it's getting late." "I want to go to your place again, but I can't." "..." The footsteps of the two walking side by side echoed on the slope. We went up the slope and took the road leading to the Roppongi intersection. Under the dazzling neon lights, the road was crowded with speeding cars. Kishi hailed a taxi that was turning the intersection, and got in first. Then, as soon as Dongzi got up, the car immediately started to drive towards Shibuya. "Where are you going?" "It's right in front." After Guizhi finished speaking, he stuffed his hands into the pockets of his coat and stared ahead. "In France, I've been thinking about you." "..." "No matter how I think about it, I don't understand." "what?" "Among us, is it love, hate, or..." Dongzi looked at Takashi without moving. "Is liking being tempted by your body?" "..." While Kishi was talking to himself, the rear of the car passed the intersection in Kasumi Town and turned left.When the car stopped, Dongzi couldn't guess where he was.It looks like a residential area, but also has a bustling atmosphere.Take a closer look, at the entrance of the gate, you can see a neon sign that says the hotel.Kishi walked in nonchalantly. "Where are you going, I want to go back." "Ah, can't you?" Under the light, Guizhi had a pleading expression on his face. "Come on..." Kishi put his hand on Dongzi's shoulder again.Now it's hard for Dongzi to object.Guizhi and her have known how many times. However, Dongzi was very reluctant.If they break up, it should be like breaking up. She hates the practice of agreeing to Guizhi and then breaking up. "Not going to do that today." "I understand, but I really want to." For a moment, Guizhi's expression looked like that of a spoiled child. Although he was ten years older than Dongzi, he now seemed younger than Dongzi. "OK?" "..." "I beg you." Seeing Guizhi's begging expression, Dongzi suddenly felt a surge of excitement. He asked me so, knowing that he had an operation, and wanted to come even more.I want to take a good look at his affection. "I really want to go to your room, but I can't." Kishi put his hands on Dongzi's shoulders and walked forward. On the surface, it looks like a big hotel, but in fact it is just a small restaurant specially used for trysts of male and female lovers. The maid came out and led them into the courtyard. It seems to be near Shibuya Nishi Azabu, but I didn't know there would be such a hotel in such a place.In the side room, walk through the lattice door, there is a place to undress, a dining room, a bedroom, a bathroom and a toilet. Guizhi opened the refrigerator, took out beer, and poured it into two glasses. "Do you frequent here?" "No, I saw it when I passed by here once." Dongzi doesn't believe Takashi's words.To come to this hotel with other women, Takashi can do it.But Dongzi has no intention of entangled in this matter now. "I'll just have a beer and go back." "Still angry?" "No." Even if Guizhi has been here before, Dongzi has no right to be angry. After drinking a glass of beer, Guizhi stood up and opened the bedroom partition.On the beautiful mattress with bright red patterns, there are two pillows side by side, one is pink and the other is blue, and beside the pillows, a lamp with a paper cover is lit. "Don't you want to change your clothes?" Kishi went to the bedroom first and began to change his yukata.Toko sat there, looking at the shadow of Takashi with the flickering lights. "Hey, have a good time." Guizhi shouted in his bathrobe. Dongzi is not in a particularly bad mood, she is happy to be with Takashi, and it is not bad to be hugged by him so quietly.The resistance to physical promises has disappeared since entering this room.She was terrified of what came after the embrace.Whether you or Takashi, are you really as satisfied as you used to be?Maybe it won't be a disappointment... To be honest, Dongzi doesn't know much about her body now.Can a woman who lost her womb feel as happy as before?Doctors have clearly stated that the absence of a uterus does not affect sex life.At that time, Dongzi didn't care about it, but once it became a reality, he became uneasy again. Now, Dongzi has no extravagance.She just wants to be able to do what she did in the past, she doesn't care, just don't let Guizhi down. "What's the matter?" Gui Zhixiang called impatiently. For a moment, Toko was a little angry with Takashi's attitude.I think about him like this, but he doesn't know anything, he just thinks about hugging.Women don't act as simply as men do, and they must be psychologically prepared for sharing the same bed. "Hey, come on." Kishi's voice was a little softer this time.He came to Dongzi's side and pulled the zipper on her back. "Although it's not good to force you here, I need you." "..." "During my stay in a foreign country, I always thought that there is no better woman than you." Urged by Guizhi, Dongzi stood up.Kishi went to bed first and waited, watching Dongzi who was undressing from behind. Dongzi has already made up his mind, whether he will be as satisfied as in the past is not considered now.Not consider.No matter what, it is now impossible to escape. The situation has come to this point, although it is mainly because of Gui Zhiqiang's persuasion, Dongzi also has something to do with it.In her heart, Dongzi also hoped that Guizhi would try to prove that even if she lost her uterus, she was still a woman.If Guizhi knew everything about Dongzi, Dongzi wouldn't need to cover up like this now, and could act freely.It is confirmed that Dongzi's body after recovery, Takashi is the most suitable candidate. After changing into her yukata, Fuyuko slowly came to Kishi's side.Start from the feet, and finally cover the whole body under the quilt.Guizhi couldn't wait to hug her. "Please turn off the lights." "too dark." "But………" Guizhi ignored her and pulled her to his side. "I miss you so much." The moment Kishi hugged her, Toko stopped breathing, and her chest was about to explode.Toko felt as if meeting Takashi for the first time. Dongzi closed her eyes and let her do what she wanted, while paying attention to her body's reaction. How will my body respond, will it feel as good as it used to?There will still be some difference, the wound will hardly feel pain... Dongzi remained motionless, concentrating on that sensitive area. Kishi didn't force at all, he caressed as much as possible, estimated the change of Dongzi's mood, and calmed down for a while... Just like in the past, he was waiting for Dongzi's emotional excitement. Toko closed her eyes tightly and was hugged by Kishi.两人之间，没有一丝空间。尽管知道这是不用想的事，但冬子还是开动脑子，相信没有空间。极欲使脑子什么也不想，就是达不到。 冬子微微睁开眼睛，看到贵志在旁边仰面躺着，枕边只亮了一个罩灯。冬子又闭上了眼睛，悄悄地缩了一下身体。哪里也没痛，好象什么异常也没有。 “呼”地一声喘了一口粗气，一看旁边，贵志仰面正愣愣地看着天花板，脸上透出不满足的表情。 冬子马上不安起来。果真象过去那样吗？万一没有意思呢？ 冬子慢慢地躺下来问：“舒服吗？” “为什么要急着问这事？” “不为什么，只想问一下。” 冬子在暗淡的灯光下，回想着刚才的回。贵志没有说不好，也没有说好，令人迷惑不解。过去爱抚冬子的时候，贵志总是燃烧着火势般的热情，激动过后，一定会说：“太好了”，“太厉害了”。这既显示出冬子的爱，也似乎表示出对冬子身体的惊奇和感叹。 冬子现在等待贵志那样说，因为那会重新唤起冬子的信心。然而，贵志什么也没有说。 贵志默默地转过身来，静静地抚弄着她的头发。 “我做了手术后，不一样了吧。” “没有。和以前一样。” “不对……”冬子情不自禁地把额头伏在贵志的胸口上，“你现在没有满足，觉得没有意思吧？” "That's your business." "I?" “尽是考虑没用的事，所以没有心思。是吧？” "..." “我不认为没有意思。” "But……" 只考虑没用的事，就会产生那样冷冰冰的感觉吗？果真不是肉体上发生变化吗？ “无论什么手术，都是割掉坏的地方。所以已经不要紧了，要有信心。” 冬子左右摇头。连子宫也摘除了这事，还没告诉贵志。虽然想在什么时间告诉他，却一天天地拖延下来。贵志一定认为我还有子宫。冬子忽然感到自己很讨厌，没有子宫却作出有的表情，这种作法太卑劣了。 “我……”冬子屏住呼吸。还是告诉他为好，这样既能放心，心情也舒服。 “其实，子宫也摘除了。” "what……" “打开肚子一看，肌瘤很多。医生说最好连子宫也一起割掉。” "Really……" "No lie." 贵志向后退了一步，审视着冬子。 “对不起。原想什么时候告诉你，却没有机会。” "..." "right." "Please don't say it." “喔，我要更坦率地把自己的想法说出来。” 贵志沉默着不语，不久起身向客厅走去。冬子也跟着起来了。虽然只穿着浴衣，但房间有暖气并不冷。 冬子拿着脱下的衣服，进了在门口的浴室。 刚才领着进来的侍员在浴槽里灌满了水，现在已有些凉了，冬子又注入新的开水，马上又热了起来。冬子用毛巾把头发卷起来，进了浴盆。她那苗条的身材沉入了粗糙的铁平石铺的浴盆。 已经把一切告诉了贵志…… 伴着轻松的心情，也有些稍微后悔。 也许他听了会弃我而去。 冬子看着热气蒸发而变得朦胧的周围，起伏不平的石子，看起来就象冬子的心一样疙疙瘩瘩。 反正和贵志是一度分了手的朋友，现在即使因此而别也不后悔，勿宁更干脆利落。从最初就决定了成为这样的结局。 “这样就好了……”冬子一边把肩泡在水里，一边自言自语地说。似乎从摘除子宫的时候起，冬子的生活方式就变了，稍微夸张的说，也可以说是人生改变了。 当冬子洗完时，贵志已经换上西服，一个人在喝啤酒。房闾的一角有冰箱，似乎是从那里拿出来的。 “不洗澡吗？” "Ok……" “洗一下的好。” “已经穿好衣服了。” "But……" 过去，当冬子洗澡时，贵志常常敲着门就进来了。今天晚上没有进去。是为了避免看到冬子根本就不想看到她失去子宫的身体？ "why?" "Oh." 冬子坐在贵志面前，把倒给她的啤酒一饮而尽。 “吃惊？” "what?" “我说失去了子宫。” “又要说……”贵志勉强一笑。 “因为已经不是女人了。” “又要说那无聊的话。你还年轻，不会因那样的事而怎么样。” “可是，已经不能生孩子了。” “不能生孩子就不好吗？” “对于你来说也许很方便。” “不要费话。” “再也不用担心怀孕了。”说着，冬子的眼睛里溢出泪水。 “我，完了。” "say no more." 贵志喝完啤酒，站起身来，“走吧。” “嗳，还来看我？” “当然。”贵志打开通话器，告诉帐房要回去。 “车，马上就来。” "Going home?" “送你回去。” 就在这一刹那间，冬子想到贵志的妻子有子宫。她虽然比我大13岁，可她既有子宫，又有孩子。冬子几乎有些蛮不讲理地想。 正在作回去的准备时，外面响起了木屐的声音，然后格子门被拉开：“车来了。”女佣人说完，俩人便站了起来。 外面，在飘忽的云中，月亮通明。虽然已过了两点，还有客人往里走。冬子目视着他们的背影上了车。 “代代木医院从开始就要割掉子宫吗？” “没有。最初说是只割肌瘤。” “那么，是手术中有变。” “他们说，打开肚子一看，肌瘤不止一个，只割肌瘤不能完全治愈。” “那么，你是手术结束后才知道连子宫也被割掉了？” "Ok……" “那太残酷了。” “可是，这是打开后才知道的。” “最初的时候不知道吗？” “作为医生是该知道的。” “从外表来诊断是很困难的。”冬子不知不觉在替医生辩护。 贵志沉默不语。奇怪的是，贵志一沉默，冬子马上感到孤寂。 “没有子宫的女人，真的讨厌吗？” “没有那种事。”贵志象要堵住冬子的嘴一样，一下子抱住冬子的肩膀，“店里的姑娘们知道吗？” “我对谁都没说。” “这样好。” “只在母亲和你啦。” 贵志温柔地抚摸着冬子的头发。 “船津怎么样，是个好青年吧。”贵志改变了话题。 “天真幼稚，从外表上看是个好人。” “下次，一起聚一次怎么样？” “那，算什么事。” “没什么，我只是想凑凑热闹。”黑暗中贵志微微一笑。 冬子到达参宫桥的公寓，已过一两点半。 "goodbye." 贵志在车座上点点头：“这事最好不要告诉别人。” “当然我不会说啦。” “不管怎么样，应该忘记这一切。”贵志说完就关上了车门。汽车上了山坡，消失在右边的石墙中。 冬子经过石板道走向公寓的大门。到底是过了两点，已有不少的窗户灯亮了。公寓为了管理的需要，过了十点就关上大门，各人自带钥匙出入。冬子从手提包拿出钥匙，打开了玻璃门，穿过大厅向电梯上，忧思重重。贵志最后没有洗澡就回去了，那不会引起他妻子的注意吗？以前，贵子的妻子知道丈夫和冬子的关系，但没有怎么加以干涉。漠不关心，还是有很强的忍耐力？是因为一闹反而会起风波才沉默吗？如果她知道了贵志和冬子之间的关系又复了，她仍然会沉默吗？ 冬子驱赶着贵志妻子，下了电梯。深夜的走廊异常安静。 306号即是冬子的房间。在开门的时候，冬子总是单人住的房间，谁也不会在里面，但冬子总要按一下。房间里传出铃声，确实了房间没人在之后，冬子插进钥匙，开了房门的时候，只亮着卧室的小灯，晚上回来的时候，感到阴森黑暗。一打开门，顿时一股凉的空气冲了过来，鸦雀无声的早晨，留着丝丝女人的气味，房间冰冷，就象失去子宫的身体一样空洞洞的。 打开房间的灯，坐在沙发上，冬子长呼了一口气。然后从提包里拿出香烟点上。烟在寂静的房间慢慢扩展开来。不知为什么，冬子感到很疲劳。 身体还是老样子吗？好象不是因为喝酒，步行一直到深夜才感到疲劳的。一周前，如有急事还能工作到12点，归根到底，忧心琐碎的事情远比制帽要累。今天虽到深夜，但只是喝酒、游玩，现在的疲劳更象是精神上的疲劳。 最初和友美、真纪在一起，冬子挂这挂那的，后来船津注意到她的情绪，安慰她，反而使她更加难受。尽管是庆祝自己病愈，冬子却一点儿也不快乐，只有和贵志两人在一起时，心情才渐渐平静下来。不过，最让冬子感到不快的还是那以后的事。 无论怎么疲劳，只要被贵志抱着获得满足，身体就会感到轻松，在疲劳中，心情也可以感到愉快舒畅。这回不但没有出现那种满足感，而且还有一种一切都结束了的空虚感。 果真不行了…… 冬子凝视着柔柔飘摇的烟雾想着。万一是没有性快感了，那不是让自己、贵志都感到失望吗？以前提心中吊胆的事情变成了现实。尽管贵志安慰她说“没事”，可是，与过去的感觉不同，冬子自己是最清楚的。 “愚蠢啊。”冬子自言自语地说。如果没有把握，从开始不让他抱就好了。这是我的过错。 冬子从餐柜里拿出白兰地。 白兰地是半年前中山夫人给的。从那以后，每当晚上睡不着的时候就喝点。冬子慢慢地把白兰地倒进杯子里。看着酒液在杯子里滴溜滴溜地转着，自然而然就就有了醉意，琥珀色的芳香，不用喝不会使人陶醉。 冬子两手捧住杯子，然后慢慢地开始喝酒。 在冬子喝完一杯的时候，变得自暴自弃起来。如果都知道了我是一个象草木一样没有性感觉的女人，无论什么样的男人都会离我而去。 冬子又咕嘟地喝一了口。发热的酒液沿着喉咙流进肚里。 可能有些醉意，冬子感到困倦。有时候似乎马上就能睡着，但果真上了床又睡不着了，就这样似睡非睡地到了天明。那样起来是很难受的。 冬子换上睡衣。和贵志在一起生活的时候，是穿木棉睡衣，分手以后就穿了这种宽大的睡衣。贵志说这样的睡衣没有情趣不喜欢。可是，现在已经没有必要操那份心了。“我和男人没有关系。”冬子安慰着自己，又猛喝了一口白兰地。