Chapter 6 chapter Five
Death once again came to Abbas.The whole manor was shrouded in a depressive atmosphere.All the windows were covered with curtains; the servants talked in low voices and moved softly about their work.
Judith's coffin rests in her own room.In this very room, I do her hair many times.Seeing her lying in the coffin in plain clothes and covered with a white cloth, my heart was touched. Compared with her life, she now looks much more serene and serene.The servants occasionally turned their heads away from the open door as they passed by, trying not to look inside.
Justin shut himself in the room and saw no one.Mrs. Rolt brought the food in with a plate, and when it came out, the food on the plate was still intact.Mrs. Rolt's face darkened; I imagined she would say when she came back to the kitchen: "He's under his conscience. Poor lady! Can you imagine?" Unanimously agree.
The scenes of that day will forever be vividly etched in my memory.I ran to see Dr. Hillard in the hot sun that day, and he was sleeping in a garden chair with a newspaper over his face to protect him from the sun.Out of breath, I told the story and rushed back to Abbas with him.When I got back, the house was empty, a shoe was on the steps, but the toy was, of course, in Callaine's bedroom.
The doctor stroked her face while I stood by.
"It's terrible," he said to himself, "horrible."
Then, when he looked up, he saw a shoe there, and he said, "She's been drinking."
I nod.
He stood up and said, "It's hopeless!"
"How did he die so quickly?" I asked.
He shrugged. "I think she died soon. No one heard her fall?"
I explained to him that the servants were all going to the circus, and it happened that no one was in the house at that time.
"And Sir Justin?"
"I don't know. My husband has gone to Plymouth on business, and the old lady is in the garden with my son."
He nodded. "You look frightened, ma'am."
"This is really unexpected!"
"That's right. Well, we must try to find Sir Justin quickly. Where will he be at this time?"
Actually, I know where he is... He's with Melora; I feel a sudden pang of fear.Justin is now a free man and can marry Melora.In another year—a more reasonable year—they'd be married; in another year, perhaps, they'd have children.I've been trying to keep Calane's toys from arousing suspicion, but my worst fears are about to happen.
What the hell is Dr. Hillard talking about?Order something?I can't even hear you.I just stood there without moving, and I felt like the whole house was laughing at me.
Not long after, Judith's parents arrived.Judith resembled her mother—tall, with bewildered eyes; they were struck by it, and it was painful.Her mother came to Judith's room, where the body was still lying on the bed, and I heard her weeping loudly, blaming her daughter for such an unfortunate fate. "God, how did you treat my daughter like this? Why did I let her marry here?" The servants heard it too.I met Mrs. Rolt on the stairs, she lowered her head, lest I see her excited expression.The servants liked the excitement.When they talked about Judith's death, they would talk about how Judith had shown her jealousy for Melora on the night of the fire. Jane Callenway also came.She came in a carriage from Dries Manor.Doer saw her coming and tried to stop her from entering, but she ignored her and asked Doer, "Where is my lady? Take me there." I heard a noise and came into the hall.Seeing that it was Karenwei, I immediately said, "Please follow me, and I will take you there." I took her into the room where Judith was already in the coffin. Jane Cavellen stood by the coffin, bending over her.She didn't cry, she didn't say anything, but I could see the sadness in her heart, and at that moment, she must have recalled countless scenes from Judith's childhood. "She's still so young," she finally said, "how could this be?" I said softly: "This is also helpless." She turned to me and snapped, "She's so young, she should have a bright future." She turned and we walked out of the room, just in time to meet Justin.Kaweilun's eyes showed a fierce light, and I was taken aback. Mrs. Lolt winked at Cavellen and said, "I think Miss Cavellen would like to have a drink to calm down." "No one and nothing can comfort my grieving heart," she said. "No matter how great the sorrow is, it will be easier to share with others, as long as you believe in us, we will open our hearts..." Mrs. Roult said.Is she implying that Kaweilun, we can tell you something true? Perhaps Kavellen had heard something in her words, and she agreed to go into the kitchen for a drink. After half an hour, I was sure that Kaweilun must not have left, so I found an excuse to go to the kitchen. It is conceivable that the servants must be telling her what Judith had accused Justin and Melora of being lovers.They would tell her that Judith's death was no accident. The death certificate stated that he died by accident.Judith stumbled and fell to his death due to excessive drinking. The testimony is given by me.I explain to people that I came back to look for my son's toys and suddenly found Judith lying under the stairs with a shoe dropped on the stairs.No one doubted my confession, but I was very nervous when I said it.But everyone thinks I'm overly frightened, which is normal. Sir Justin seemed ten years older all of a sudden, and he could see that he was full of guilt.Melora seemed to have lost her soul even more. I knew she was afraid to see any of the servants.She had already forgotten about the recruitment interview completely, and she was very numb to everything around her.How different she is from me!If I were in her current position, I would be sincerely happy, fight hard for my future, and ignore the servants' gossip.You can become the master of this house right away, so what is there to be afraid of?At that time, they can all be fired.The servants will naturally understand this, and they will adjust their attitude towards you, but it is difficult for them to judge the situation now. However, the most disturbed person in the whole house was me.The future of my son is uncertain, and he is the most important thing in my life right now. As for myself, I can care less.My marriage is actually not happy, and sometimes I really hate John.But because I still want to have children, I have to put up with him.I don't love him, I never loved him, and instead of love, what keeps our relationship together is a kind of sex and pleasure.I, too, dreamed of a love that would give my life full meaning, and now that desire grew stronger.I yearn for a husband who will do my best to love, who will bring comfort to my life and fill my life with meaning and value. For this, I am willing to give up all the materialistic dreams I have ever had.I have never felt so lonely and helpless; I realized that the ideal of life is so fragile; I remembered what my grandma once said that people plan things, but heaven makes things happen, and the god of fate is sometimes irresistible; I feel weak and helpless Help, I really want to have a pair of strong arms to hug me tightly.I miss Kim more and more, and I feel that that night in the forest, he not only saved Joe, but also defined my future. I had a crush on Jin in this way, perhaps because I fell in love with his idol, but because I like to devote myself wholeheartedly, my love for Jin suddenly became warm, deep and unstoppable.That night when I first met Jin, I was too young and ignorant to understand my own feelings, so I chose Jin to be my idol in love. Over the years, my love for him has grown day by day.In my subconscious, I felt that one day, Kim would come back to me. Now when I feel that something so hard earned is going to leave me, I can't help but wish that a strong man like Kim will stand by my side.But when I think that this man is not my husband, and my marriage is a barter without love, an exchange of lust and power, I am extremely sad! I pondered uneasily what was about to happen, hoping that something might turn up. Suddenly rumors spread. I knew it when I passed the kitchen and overheard Mrs. Rolt's high-pitched voice. "One law for the poor, another law for the rich. Accidental death. Accidental accident . . . do you believe it? Where is he then? Where is she?" In the days leading up to Madame's death. Premeditated? Perhaps so. Where were they the day she died? Well, you needn't ask, that's what gentlemen do." Rumors can kill people.
This rumor is becoming more and more likely to be true.People are saying that Judith's death was too accidental, too coincidental.Justin loves Melora!Melora is leaving!Judith was the stumbling block between Melora and Justin, and now the stumbling block is gone.Justin made a quick decision to remove the stumbling block in order to keep his lover. It is also said that Fate is too partial to certain people.But why?The God of Destiny said: "Because it is Sir Justin, let him get what he wants!" So, the God of Destiny used his power to rearrange a series of events in life to achieve his goal. Where was Judith's husband when she fell down the stairs?He said he was walking the horse.No one asked what Melora was doing?If someone asked her, she probably could only say that she was walking the horse.I can well imagine the discussions of the servants in the kitchen, sitting around the long table, analyzing the whole process like detectives. The time of death is well chosen.The whole house was deserted, the servants had gone to the circus; John had gone to business; Mrs. St. Langston was in the garden with her son and the old lady.Had he tricked his wife into going to the stairs and pushing her down? The servants said so, and the people in the village thought so too.At the little post office in the village, Miss Pensey knew that Miss Martin was sending letters around; and think of the night when the room was on fire, Melora was in her nightgown-with Justin, Judith confided the pain in her heart, it was not difficult for people Imagine how much Judith wanted Melora to leave Abbas!Miss Pensey had heard stories of this scene from many people.Mrs. Rolt, Mrs. Soulter, and Hagarty were always there to join in the fun; Hagarty stared leeringly at the open bosom of Miss Pensey's black blouse, and smiled at her as a compliment on her beauty.She also has the ability to wring any secret from a man who admires her.Dole also went there to chat, but she always asked some questions rashly. The stupid Daisy followed Dole and asked: "Did the postman tell you where it was sent from the postmark? Was it Miss Martin?" A reply from the place where the letter was written?" Miss Pensey was very good at observing the people in the woods.It was even possible to tell which girl was pregnant without the girl herself knowing it; she was especially interested in sensational news from the village, and her profession afforded her the advantage of being close to the water. So, I know, now people are gathering at her place to gossip again; every time I go in it becomes silent. Maybe they regard me as a guy with sinister intentions and pretentiousness, but I am not as good as the top, more than the bottom, and there are many people who are worse than me.Besides, my business is no longer the center of discussion. On the day of the funeral, there was an endless stream of people sending flowers, and the whole house smelled of lilacs, and the smell of death was everywhere. We all felt that it was an ordeal that had to be endured.When I put the hat on and looked in the mirror I couldn't believe it was me.I always look ugly in black clothes; that day, I parted my hair in the middle and tied it in a bun at the back, with black stone earrings and a black marble necklace, which made my eyes look bigger; my face was thin and pale .Since Judith's death, I have been sleeping very badly, and even when I do sleep, I have nightmares.In my dreams, there are always shots of the labor market and Melora coming up to hold my hand. Once, I also dreamed that my feet became horseshoes, but the toes were separated. John, in mourning attire, looked more dignified than usual.He came over and stood with me in front of the mirror. "You look... very dignified," he said, leaning down and kissing the tip of my nose so as not to knock off my hat. I shuddered, not liking his smug look at all. "Justin has been a shining example to me... my saintly brother. You know what they say about him now?" "I do not want to know." He raised his eyebrows: "This is not like you used to be, you have always been meddling in other people's business. Unless you already know what I am going to tell you, yes, you already know, my dear, they say I am a saint brother murdered his own wife." "I hope you've told them the idea is absurd." "Do you think they'll believe me?" "Who said that? The lady at the post office? She loves to spread rumors." "That's right. She really likes to spread gossip and gossip. But this time, many elegant people are saying the same thing. I don't think my brother will be cleared of his crimes this time." "But everyone knows Judith is a drunk." "But they also knew he wanted to get rid of Judith." "But she is his wife after all." He repeated my words mockingly, and then said, "What's the matter with my ever-smart wife today? So, what do you think, Clentha?" "Justin is innocent." "You're simple-minded, and you're the only one who thinks so." "But the verdict says..." "Accidental death. Of course, I'll tell you, it will always be on people's minds. People don't forget when Justin and Melora get married after a while. You know people here It is a custom that people like to repeat certain stories from generation to generation. This kind of thing will become a scandal not to be lightly mentioned but never to be forgotten.” He has a point.I should let the truth out. I shivered.Before the court ruling, I didn't tell the whole truth, how can I speak now?What can I do when even his own brothers believe him to be a criminal? John sat on the edge of the bed, studying his boots. "I see how they got married," he said. "The only way to dispel these rumors is if they never get married." My eyes lit up—albeit unnaturally.If they didn't marry—never did, then Karaline's future was secure. Funeral bells sound from the church. "It's time for us to go," John said.He took my hand, "Why are your hands so cold! Be happy, this is not my funeral." I loathe him for being so indifferent to his brother's distress.He was so happy and gloating only because no one would compare the two brothers from now on, making him look like a dwarf. What kind of man did I marry?I asked myself: But this question made me ask myself, what kind of woman am I?
The torture we suffered at the funeral is indescribable.All the villagers of St. Langston, plus people for miles around, came to the funeral.The church was packed; the smell of lilacs was suffocating; James Hempfer, who presided over the funeral, was delivering a seemingly endless eulogy. Justin sat in the front row with his mother and Judith's parents, and John and I sat in the second row.I kept watching Justin's back, wondering what he was going to do next.Judith's coffin was covered with flowers, but I didn't dare to look at it; as for what Heimfer was saying, I didn't hear it at all.All I saw was Mrs. Heimfell sitting there with her three daughters, and I thought of how happy I was when Melora gave me the dress and the straw hat. I can't shake off the memory of the past, and I can't forget the help Melora gave me. At last the ceremony was completed; we walked slowly out of the church towards the cemetery.Heimfer stepped down from the altar.Oh, what a heavy funeral! I saw Kavellen.She looked old, bent over, and walked slowly towards the coffin.We all watched quietly, only the sound of her walking stick touching the ground could be heard.No one stepped forward to stop her. She stood by the coffin, then pointed her stick at the St. Langstons. "That's how my young lady went," she suddenly raised her voice, "I curse their family to die." Mrs. Hempfer, with a capable look, hurried forward to hold Kavellen.She said, "Okay, okay, we know you're upset..." But Kavellen doesn't seem to let it go!She made a gesture of going forward to make a speech.She paused for a few seconds, glared at us, and threateningly tapped the ground with her stick. Cavelon wailed as Mrs. Hempfer pulled her back to the back of the church; I saw Judith's mother sobbing with her face in her hands. "Why should I let her marry..." Many people have heard her say this sentence.At that moment, it seemed that everyone was waiting for a magical power from God to find out the murderer who killed Judith, which was very satisfying. Judith's father gave his wife an arm; Justin went out, and there was a commotion from the servants sitting nearby. I heard someone yell, "She's fainted." I knew right away who it was.I rushed forward and loosened her collar.She lay on the church floor with her hat off and the ribbon still tied around her pale face. I really wanted to yell loudly: "Melora, I haven't forgotten our friendship, but what about Carleen?" The servants watched eagerly, and I knew exactly what they were thinking. Guilt in the church showed! Thank God we are finally back in Abbas!Thankfully, the funeral bells finally stopped; the curtains were finally drawn, and the sun was seen. We drank kirsch, which had been prepared, and ate something.Justin appeared calm, but his attitude was indifferent, and he had obviously regained his former composure.But he looked miserable and helpless, like a widower. Judith's mother was escorted back, fearing that she might have a hysterical fit if she stayed.We all tried to say as little as possible about the funeral, we talked about the rise of prices, the state of affairs of the country; the virtues of young Mr. Dislarry; the faults of Peel and Gladstone; Question: Is the Feder mine really going to close?How will it affect the surrounding area? I am the hostess here.Even if Judith lived, I'd be the de facto mistress here, except that everyone takes me seriously now, unless Justin remarries.However, Justin is not going to marry again. Of course, I have to be fully prepared, first of all to strengthen my beliefs.For Justin to have a legal heir, he had to be legally married.But will he marry Melora?Do they dare to face all kinds of rumors?Does Justin have the courage? I finally got out and hurried to Melora's room. No one but me would help her draw the thick curtain that covered the window.She lay on the bed with her hair disheveled, still looking young, but utterly alone; reminded me of my own childhood. "Oh, Melora," I called her, choked up. She held out her hand to me, and I took her hand, feeling like Judas betraying God. "How do you feel now?" I said. "It's over!" she said. I said falsely, "Why? Now, you are free to choose." "Free?" she said with a wry smile. "We've never been free." "You really don't understand? She will never stand between you again, Melora, you two can talk freely." "She stands firmly among us now more than ever." "But she's dead." "You know what people are saying." "They're saying he murdered her, perhaps with your help." She sat up with her elbows propped up, her eyes wide open, "How dare they say that? How can they say that about Justin? It's pure nonsense." "When she had an accident, he happened to..." "Don't tell me, Clenza, it's not true." "Of course I don't believe it. I believe he is innocent." "I also know that only you can be trusted." Oh no, Melora, no, I really want to say it.For a while, I tried to keep silent, and if I spoke, I would actually tell the truth. She continued: "Justin and I have talked and we're done, Klentha, we're both very clear." "But……" "You have to understand that it is impossible for me to marry him. Don't you understand that once you get married, doesn't that mean you admit that the rumors are true? There is only one way to prove Justin's innocence." "You want to get out of here?" I asked. "He won't let me decide, he wants me to stay here with you; he said you are strong and my friend, he hopes you can take care of me." I covered my face with my hands to hide the self-mockery from her; we knew each other so well that she was sure to see it. "He said my life was too hard . . . it would be hard to be a governess or a companion if I left here. He wanted me to stay here and watch over Carlyon . . . and be your friend." "When the time is right... When people gradually forget, he will marry you?" "Oh no, we'll never get married, Clenza, he's going." "Justin's leaving!" There was a lilt in my voice.Justin's renunciation of his power, and from this, the way is clear for me. "He can only do this. He thinks it is the best way. He will go to the East...to China, to India." "He was just talking!" "He's serious, Clentha, he can't stand living here so close to me, he won't marry me, he's afraid of the rumors, so he wants me to stay with you . . . when the time is right, maybe . . . " "Maybe you'll go to him?" "Nobody can tell." "He's made up his mind to go? He's not joking, is he? He'll change his mind soon." "There's only one thing that can make him change his mind about going away, Cronza." "What is it?" "If anything, somebody could prove him innocent. But we know it's impossible. You know, we've got no other way out than that, and we've got to part ways, to prove our innocence. " It's time for my confession; it was Judith who tripped over Callaine's toy, Caraline left it on the stairs, and she didn't see it trip and fall.From the shoe hooked to the toy, the whole thing looks like this.I took the toy because I wanted to protect Karaline. However, the problem is not that simple. I cleared the way for Justin and Melora to get married and have a son. No, I can't, Abbas belongs to Carlyon, Sir Carlyon, how happy I will be on the day of knighthood.My marriage, a marriage without love, is the price I get for all this, and I've had enough.Shall I give up everything I have won for Melora's happiness? I like Melora, but is her love with Justin love?If I were Melora, would I let my lover leave me?Will I fall in love with such a man who is willing to give up? It's not worth the sacrifice for a love like theirs. I have to keep a clear head and a cool head. If they really love each other, they should have the courage to face all difficulties and hardships. I have to work hard for my son's future, and nothing can stop me.
Not long after, Judith's parents arrived.Judith resembled her mother—tall, with bewildered eyes; they were struck by it, and it was painful.Her mother came to Judith's room, where the body was still lying on the bed, and I heard her weeping loudly, blaming her daughter for such an unfortunate fate. "God, how did you treat my daughter like this? Why did I let her marry here?" The servants heard it too.I met Mrs. Rolt on the stairs, she lowered her head, lest I see her excited expression.The servants liked the excitement.When they talked about Judith's death, they would talk about how Judith had shown her jealousy for Melora on the night of the fire. Jane Callenway also came.She came in a carriage from Dries Manor.Doer saw her coming and tried to stop her from entering, but she ignored her and asked Doer, "Where is my lady? Take me there." I heard a noise and came into the hall.Seeing that it was Karenwei, I immediately said, "Please follow me, and I will take you there." I took her into the room where Judith was already in the coffin. Jane Cavellen stood by the coffin, bending over her.She didn't cry, she didn't say anything, but I could see the sadness in her heart, and at that moment, she must have recalled countless scenes from Judith's childhood. "She's still so young," she finally said, "how could this be?" I said softly: "This is also helpless." She turned to me and snapped, "She's so young, she should have a bright future." She turned and we walked out of the room, just in time to meet Justin.Kaweilun's eyes showed a fierce light, and I was taken aback. Mrs. Lolt winked at Cavellen and said, "I think Miss Cavellen would like to have a drink to calm down." "No one and nothing can comfort my grieving heart," she said. "No matter how great the sorrow is, it will be easier to share with others, as long as you believe in us, we will open our hearts..." Mrs. Roult said.Is she implying that Kaweilun, we can tell you something true? Perhaps Kavellen had heard something in her words, and she agreed to go into the kitchen for a drink. After half an hour, I was sure that Kaweilun must not have left, so I found an excuse to go to the kitchen. It is conceivable that the servants must be telling her what Judith had accused Justin and Melora of being lovers.They would tell her that Judith's death was no accident. The death certificate stated that he died by accident.Judith stumbled and fell to his death due to excessive drinking. The testimony is given by me.I explain to people that I came back to look for my son's toys and suddenly found Judith lying under the stairs with a shoe dropped on the stairs.No one doubted my confession, but I was very nervous when I said it.But everyone thinks I'm overly frightened, which is normal. Sir Justin seemed ten years older all of a sudden, and he could see that he was full of guilt.Melora seemed to have lost her soul even more. I knew she was afraid to see any of the servants.She had already forgotten about the recruitment interview completely, and she was very numb to everything around her.How different she is from me!If I were in her current position, I would be sincerely happy, fight hard for my future, and ignore the servants' gossip.You can become the master of this house right away, so what is there to be afraid of?At that time, they can all be fired.The servants will naturally understand this, and they will adjust their attitude towards you, but it is difficult for them to judge the situation now. However, the most disturbed person in the whole house was me.The future of my son is uncertain, and he is the most important thing in my life right now. As for myself, I can care less.My marriage is actually not happy, and sometimes I really hate John.But because I still want to have children, I have to put up with him.I don't love him, I never loved him, and instead of love, what keeps our relationship together is a kind of sex and pleasure.I, too, dreamed of a love that would give my life full meaning, and now that desire grew stronger.I yearn for a husband who will do my best to love, who will bring comfort to my life and fill my life with meaning and value. For this, I am willing to give up all the materialistic dreams I have ever had.I have never felt so lonely and helpless; I realized that the ideal of life is so fragile; I remembered what my grandma once said that people plan things, but heaven makes things happen, and the god of fate is sometimes irresistible; I feel weak and helpless Help, I really want to have a pair of strong arms to hug me tightly.I miss Kim more and more, and I feel that that night in the forest, he not only saved Joe, but also defined my future. I had a crush on Jin in this way, perhaps because I fell in love with his idol, but because I like to devote myself wholeheartedly, my love for Jin suddenly became warm, deep and unstoppable.That night when I first met Jin, I was too young and ignorant to understand my own feelings, so I chose Jin to be my idol in love. Over the years, my love for him has grown day by day.In my subconscious, I felt that one day, Kim would come back to me. Now when I feel that something so hard earned is going to leave me, I can't help but wish that a strong man like Kim will stand by my side.But when I think that this man is not my husband, and my marriage is a barter without love, an exchange of lust and power, I am extremely sad! I pondered uneasily what was about to happen, hoping that something might turn up. Suddenly rumors spread. I knew it when I passed the kitchen and overheard Mrs. Rolt's high-pitched voice. "One law for the poor, another law for the rich. Accidental death. Accidental accident . . . do you believe it? Where is he then? Where is she?" In the days leading up to Madame's death. Premeditated? Perhaps so. Where were they the day she died? Well, you needn't ask, that's what gentlemen do." Rumors can kill people.
This rumor is becoming more and more likely to be true.People are saying that Judith's death was too accidental, too coincidental.Justin loves Melora!Melora is leaving!Judith was the stumbling block between Melora and Justin, and now the stumbling block is gone.Justin made a quick decision to remove the stumbling block in order to keep his lover. It is also said that Fate is too partial to certain people.But why?The God of Destiny said: "Because it is Sir Justin, let him get what he wants!" So, the God of Destiny used his power to rearrange a series of events in life to achieve his goal. Where was Judith's husband when she fell down the stairs?He said he was walking the horse.No one asked what Melora was doing?If someone asked her, she probably could only say that she was walking the horse.I can well imagine the discussions of the servants in the kitchen, sitting around the long table, analyzing the whole process like detectives. The time of death is well chosen.The whole house was deserted, the servants had gone to the circus; John had gone to business; Mrs. St. Langston was in the garden with her son and the old lady.Had he tricked his wife into going to the stairs and pushing her down? The servants said so, and the people in the village thought so too.At the little post office in the village, Miss Pensey knew that Miss Martin was sending letters around; and think of the night when the room was on fire, Melora was in her nightgown-with Justin, Judith confided the pain in her heart, it was not difficult for people Imagine how much Judith wanted Melora to leave Abbas!Miss Pensey had heard stories of this scene from many people.Mrs. Rolt, Mrs. Soulter, and Hagarty were always there to join in the fun; Hagarty stared leeringly at the open bosom of Miss Pensey's black blouse, and smiled at her as a compliment on her beauty.She also has the ability to wring any secret from a man who admires her.Dole also went there to chat, but she always asked some questions rashly. The stupid Daisy followed Dole and asked: "Did the postman tell you where it was sent from the postmark? Was it Miss Martin?" A reply from the place where the letter was written?" Miss Pensey was very good at observing the people in the woods.It was even possible to tell which girl was pregnant without the girl herself knowing it; she was especially interested in sensational news from the village, and her profession afforded her the advantage of being close to the water. So, I know, now people are gathering at her place to gossip again; every time I go in it becomes silent. Maybe they regard me as a guy with sinister intentions and pretentiousness, but I am not as good as the top, more than the bottom, and there are many people who are worse than me.Besides, my business is no longer the center of discussion. On the day of the funeral, there was an endless stream of people sending flowers, and the whole house smelled of lilacs, and the smell of death was everywhere. We all felt that it was an ordeal that had to be endured.When I put the hat on and looked in the mirror I couldn't believe it was me.I always look ugly in black clothes; that day, I parted my hair in the middle and tied it in a bun at the back, with black stone earrings and a black marble necklace, which made my eyes look bigger; my face was thin and pale .Since Judith's death, I have been sleeping very badly, and even when I do sleep, I have nightmares.In my dreams, there are always shots of the labor market and Melora coming up to hold my hand. Once, I also dreamed that my feet became horseshoes, but the toes were separated. John, in mourning attire, looked more dignified than usual.He came over and stood with me in front of the mirror. "You look... very dignified," he said, leaning down and kissing the tip of my nose so as not to knock off my hat. I shuddered, not liking his smug look at all. "Justin has been a shining example to me... my saintly brother. You know what they say about him now?" "I do not want to know." He raised his eyebrows: "This is not like you used to be, you have always been meddling in other people's business. Unless you already know what I am going to tell you, yes, you already know, my dear, they say I am a saint brother murdered his own wife." "I hope you've told them the idea is absurd." "Do you think they'll believe me?" "Who said that? The lady at the post office? She loves to spread rumors." "That's right. She really likes to spread gossip and gossip. But this time, many elegant people are saying the same thing. I don't think my brother will be cleared of his crimes this time." "But everyone knows Judith is a drunk." "But they also knew he wanted to get rid of Judith." "But she is his wife after all." He repeated my words mockingly, and then said, "What's the matter with my ever-smart wife today? So, what do you think, Clentha?" "Justin is innocent." "You're simple-minded, and you're the only one who thinks so." "But the verdict says..." "Accidental death. Of course, I'll tell you, it will always be on people's minds. People don't forget when Justin and Melora get married after a while. You know people here It is a custom that people like to repeat certain stories from generation to generation. This kind of thing will become a scandal not to be lightly mentioned but never to be forgotten.” He has a point.I should let the truth out. I shivered.Before the court ruling, I didn't tell the whole truth, how can I speak now?What can I do when even his own brothers believe him to be a criminal? John sat on the edge of the bed, studying his boots. "I see how they got married," he said. "The only way to dispel these rumors is if they never get married." My eyes lit up—albeit unnaturally.If they didn't marry—never did, then Karaline's future was secure. Funeral bells sound from the church. "It's time for us to go," John said.He took my hand, "Why are your hands so cold! Be happy, this is not my funeral." I loathe him for being so indifferent to his brother's distress.He was so happy and gloating only because no one would compare the two brothers from now on, making him look like a dwarf. What kind of man did I marry?I asked myself: But this question made me ask myself, what kind of woman am I?
The torture we suffered at the funeral is indescribable.All the villagers of St. Langston, plus people for miles around, came to the funeral.The church was packed; the smell of lilacs was suffocating; James Hempfer, who presided over the funeral, was delivering a seemingly endless eulogy. Justin sat in the front row with his mother and Judith's parents, and John and I sat in the second row.I kept watching Justin's back, wondering what he was going to do next.Judith's coffin was covered with flowers, but I didn't dare to look at it; as for what Heimfer was saying, I didn't hear it at all.All I saw was Mrs. Heimfell sitting there with her three daughters, and I thought of how happy I was when Melora gave me the dress and the straw hat. I can't shake off the memory of the past, and I can't forget the help Melora gave me. At last the ceremony was completed; we walked slowly out of the church towards the cemetery.Heimfer stepped down from the altar.Oh, what a heavy funeral! I saw Kavellen.She looked old, bent over, and walked slowly towards the coffin.We all watched quietly, only the sound of her walking stick touching the ground could be heard.No one stepped forward to stop her. She stood by the coffin, then pointed her stick at the St. Langstons. "That's how my young lady went," she suddenly raised her voice, "I curse their family to die." Mrs. Hempfer, with a capable look, hurried forward to hold Kavellen.She said, "Okay, okay, we know you're upset..." But Kavellen doesn't seem to let it go!She made a gesture of going forward to make a speech.She paused for a few seconds, glared at us, and threateningly tapped the ground with her stick. Cavelon wailed as Mrs. Hempfer pulled her back to the back of the church; I saw Judith's mother sobbing with her face in her hands. "Why should I let her marry..." Many people have heard her say this sentence.At that moment, it seemed that everyone was waiting for a magical power from God to find out the murderer who killed Judith, which was very satisfying. Judith's father gave his wife an arm; Justin went out, and there was a commotion from the servants sitting nearby. I heard someone yell, "She's fainted." I knew right away who it was.I rushed forward and loosened her collar.She lay on the church floor with her hat off and the ribbon still tied around her pale face. I really wanted to yell loudly: "Melora, I haven't forgotten our friendship, but what about Carleen?" The servants watched eagerly, and I knew exactly what they were thinking. Guilt in the church showed! Thank God we are finally back in Abbas!Thankfully, the funeral bells finally stopped; the curtains were finally drawn, and the sun was seen. We drank kirsch, which had been prepared, and ate something.Justin appeared calm, but his attitude was indifferent, and he had obviously regained his former composure.But he looked miserable and helpless, like a widower. Judith's mother was escorted back, fearing that she might have a hysterical fit if she stayed.We all tried to say as little as possible about the funeral, we talked about the rise of prices, the state of affairs of the country; the virtues of young Mr. Dislarry; the faults of Peel and Gladstone; Question: Is the Feder mine really going to close?How will it affect the surrounding area? I am the hostess here.Even if Judith lived, I'd be the de facto mistress here, except that everyone takes me seriously now, unless Justin remarries.However, Justin is not going to marry again. Of course, I have to be fully prepared, first of all to strengthen my beliefs.For Justin to have a legal heir, he had to be legally married.But will he marry Melora?Do they dare to face all kinds of rumors?Does Justin have the courage? I finally got out and hurried to Melora's room. No one but me would help her draw the thick curtain that covered the window.She lay on the bed with her hair disheveled, still looking young, but utterly alone; reminded me of my own childhood. "Oh, Melora," I called her, choked up. She held out her hand to me, and I took her hand, feeling like Judas betraying God. "How do you feel now?" I said. "It's over!" she said. I said falsely, "Why? Now, you are free to choose." "Free?" she said with a wry smile. "We've never been free." "You really don't understand? She will never stand between you again, Melora, you two can talk freely." "She stands firmly among us now more than ever." "But she's dead." "You know what people are saying." "They're saying he murdered her, perhaps with your help." She sat up with her elbows propped up, her eyes wide open, "How dare they say that? How can they say that about Justin? It's pure nonsense." "When she had an accident, he happened to..." "Don't tell me, Clenza, it's not true." "Of course I don't believe it. I believe he is innocent." "I also know that only you can be trusted." Oh no, Melora, no, I really want to say it.For a while, I tried to keep silent, and if I spoke, I would actually tell the truth. She continued: "Justin and I have talked and we're done, Klentha, we're both very clear." "But……" "You have to understand that it is impossible for me to marry him. Don't you understand that once you get married, doesn't that mean you admit that the rumors are true? There is only one way to prove Justin's innocence." "You want to get out of here?" I asked. "He won't let me decide, he wants me to stay here with you; he said you are strong and my friend, he hopes you can take care of me." I covered my face with my hands to hide the self-mockery from her; we knew each other so well that she was sure to see it. "He said my life was too hard . . . it would be hard to be a governess or a companion if I left here. He wanted me to stay here and watch over Carlyon . . . and be your friend." "When the time is right... When people gradually forget, he will marry you?" "Oh no, we'll never get married, Clenza, he's going." "Justin's leaving!" There was a lilt in my voice.Justin's renunciation of his power, and from this, the way is clear for me. "He can only do this. He thinks it is the best way. He will go to the East...to China, to India." "He was just talking!" "He's serious, Clentha, he can't stand living here so close to me, he won't marry me, he's afraid of the rumors, so he wants me to stay with you . . . when the time is right, maybe . . . " "Maybe you'll go to him?" "Nobody can tell." "He's made up his mind to go? He's not joking, is he? He'll change his mind soon." "There's only one thing that can make him change his mind about going away, Cronza." "What is it?" "If anything, somebody could prove him innocent. But we know it's impossible. You know, we've got no other way out than that, and we've got to part ways, to prove our innocence. " It's time for my confession; it was Judith who tripped over Callaine's toy, Caraline left it on the stairs, and she didn't see it trip and fall.From the shoe hooked to the toy, the whole thing looks like this.I took the toy because I wanted to protect Karaline. However, the problem is not that simple. I cleared the way for Justin and Melora to get married and have a son. No, I can't, Abbas belongs to Carlyon, Sir Carlyon, how happy I will be on the day of knighthood.My marriage, a marriage without love, is the price I get for all this, and I've had enough.Shall I give up everything I have won for Melora's happiness? I like Melora, but is her love with Justin love?If I were Melora, would I let my lover leave me?Will I fall in love with such a man who is willing to give up? It's not worth the sacrifice for a love like theirs. I have to keep a clear head and a cool head. If they really love each other, they should have the courage to face all difficulties and hardships. I have to work hard for my son's future, and nothing can stop me.