Chapter 22 Chapter nine

However, Grace found that her husband was more stubborn than before. Although she tried her best, he was still indifferent; , so he fell into anger.He was a man who would be proud of all his decisions. Once a decision was made, the Bridgers had to leave within a week. He would not change his decision because of other people's advice or emotional factors.As hard as it was to go against his wife's wishes, as painful as it was to feel her hostility, he was strengthened by some of the reproaches he suffered for it, as if his duty were directed in one direction only.Paul Castingyan cared deeply about what his tenants thought of him, and at the same time his own duty to them; and therefore he is fully prepared to be responsible to those who belong to his domain; he is so devoted to his duties that even in London he does not forget to think about the problems of his domain. little things.To his sharecroppers he was just and unsparing, generous to their needs and sympathetic to their sufferings, but tempted to meddle in the problems of their lives.His moral sense was particularly extreme under these circumstances; the very existence of Fanny Bridget seemed to be a kind of pollution, and the very thought of her was, to some conservative minds, repulsive.However, Grace not only defended her, but even went to visit her, which terrified Mr. Castingyoung; in his opinion, a woman of dignity should despise such a depraved woman.

A week passed without Grace being able to change anything; she was very disappointed, angry with her husband as well as with herself, and determined that Fanny should not suffer any further financial difficulties; if she had to go, At least she should be given some compensation.But she was frustrated by Mr. Bridget's stubborn reluctance to be separated from his daughter; all he worried about was her leaving, and he didn't feel that there was anything else to fear in the future; He also harbors resentment, and because he himself is stubborn, he also refuses to give in.He has repeatedly stated that if his daughter must go, then he and his sons must go with her.

On the afternoon when Fanny had to leave the village where she was born and raised, Mrs. Castingyoung sat sullenly in the living room, flipping through a magazine absently; reading a recently published blue book.At this moment a servant came in to announce that Bridger wanted to speak to Mr. Castingyoung.Paul got up to go out to meet him, but Mrs. Castingyoung begged for Bridger to come. "Let him in," said Mr. Castingyoung. Bridget came in timidly, and stood at the door, still holding the handle; it was raining, and his damp clothes gave off an unpleasant smell.He looks grim and savage, as if he's tainted with wildness because he's spent his whole life in the wild with wild animals.

"Tell me, Bridget, what do you want?" "Mr. Kasting Yang, I came here to ask, do I really have to leave tomorrow?" "Do I always say something insincere? I told you that if you don't get your daughter away in a week, I will fire you and your son." The gamekeeper bowed his head and mused over the words: even now he could not believe that they were having a serious and cruel conversation; Easy, he will allow them to stay. "Fanny has nowhere to go. If I let her go, it's all over for her." "You probably also know that Mrs. Casting Young has promised to help your daughter. I also believe that she will be able to find a place to take in delinquent women and take care of them."

"Paul," Grace exclaimed indignantly, "how can you say that!" Bridget took a step forward, staring at Mr. Kastingyang, his eyes were rough and unfriendly. "I have served your family faithfully, from my childhood, for forty years, and I was born in the cottage where I now live. I tell you, my daughter cannot go, she is a good girl, It's just bad luck. If you want us to go, where can we go? I'm getting old and it's not easy to find a new job, maybe I can only find some part-time jobs." He could not express his thoughts, nor could he say what he thought of this injustice; he only saw that all these years of loyal service to the family had ended in vain, waiting for their fate. There can only be cold, poverty and humiliation.Paul, on the other hand, just looked at him seriously and indifferently.

"I'm sorry," he said, "but there's nothing I can do for you. I gave you a chance and you didn't take it." "Do I have to go tomorrow?" "yes." The gamekeeper twisted his hat nervously, and a look of great grief took over his face; he tried to speak, but a word was not uttered, only a muffled moan.He got up and went out.Grace then walks up to Paul in desperation. "Paul, you can't do this," she cried. "You'll break his heart. Haven't you any mercy? Can't you forgive them?" "It's useless, Grace. I'm sorry I didn't meet your expectations. I have to do my job. It would be unfair to the other sharecroppers if I let this go without doing anything about it .”

"How can you be so hard-hearted!" He didn't see, couldn't see, how cruel it would be to drive Bridger off this piece of land he cherished most; The meaning of Bridger: His whole life is connected with these things; his roots are in this land, which has witnessed his birth and growth, his marriage and the growth of his children.Mrs. Castingyoung took her husband's hand and stared straight into his face. "Paul, do you know what you're doing? Lately, we've grown closer. I feel a renewed love for you inside of me, and you're relentlessly trying to kill it. You won't let me love you .Can you just forget about the nonsense and just remember that you're a human being just as vulnerable as the rest of us? You want to forgive yourself, but you're a utterly unloving human being."

"Honey, it's also for you, so I have to punish him severely. Because you are so beautiful and pure, I can't be more merciful." "what do you mean?" She broke free from his arm and took a few steps back.Her unpainted face was only pale, and her eyes were full of panic and fear. "I cannot bear those people to live in the same place as you. As you are a chaste and good woman, it is my duty to protect you from all evil. I am horrified just to think that you might meet her in your walk— —her, and her child." Mrs. Kastingyang blushed, her throat was itchy, and she wanted to say something, so she stretched out her hand to hold her throat.

"But Paul, listen to me, that woman is innocent and good when compared to me." "Honey, you're talking nonsense," he laughed. "Paul, I'm not who you think I am. That woman did wrong because she was ignorant and unlucky, but I know what I'm doing. I have everything I want, I have your love; I No other excuse. I'm no better than a slut." "Grace, don't be stupid! How can you have such silly thoughts?" "Paul, I tell you very seriously. I'm not a good wife. I'm sorry about that. I think I'd better tell you everything."

Paul stared at her suspiciously. "Grace, are you crazy? What do you mean?" "I did—did infidelity." He stood motionless and didn't say anything, but his limbs couldn't help shaking, and his face suddenly turned pale.But he still doesn't believe what he's hearing.Her throat was dry for a while, but she continued to speak, trying hard to force the words that were reluctant to come out. "I do not deserve your love and trust. I shamelessly lied to you. I committed adultery." The words hit him hard, and he rushed to Grace, who was shaking, and grabbed her by the shoulders, screaming frantically.He grabbed her roughly in his strong hands, so she gritted her teeth, trying not to cry out in pain.

"What do you mean? Are you in love with someone else? Tell me who he is." She didn't answer, just looked at him terrified, and he grabbed her shoulders angrily and shook; he was now blinded by anger, into a state she had never seen before. "Who is he?" he asked again. "You'd better tell me." She broke free, but he grabbed her mercilessly again, and exerted so much force that she couldn't help but want to cry out in pain. "Reggie Bassett," she said finally. He let her go roughly and pushed her against the table. "You dirty beast!" he cried. Mrs. Castingyang's breathing suddenly became short of breath.She felt like she was going to pass out, and she settled herself against the edge of the table; she was still shaking from the pain she had just endured, and her shoulders were still aching.He just looked at her, as if he still didn't understand what she had said; he put his hand feebly to his face. "Although I love you with all my heart and do my best to make you happy." Suddenly, he seemed to remember something, "One night, you kissed me and said we should get closer, what do you mean ?” "I broke up with Reggie that day," she choked out. He laughed cruelly. "If he hadn't dumped you, you wouldn't have come back to me." She took a few steps forward, but Paul held out his hand to stop her. "For God's sake, don't come near me or I'll hurt you." She stopped, and for a moment they looked at each other strangely.Then, he put his hands on his face again, as if trying to forget the terrible things in front of him. "My God, my God! What am I going to do now?" he wailed. He turned quickly, fell into a chair, buried his face, and cried.He wept uncontrollably, full of pain and despair. "Paul, Paul, for God's sake please stop crying; I can't take it." She walked towards him, trying to take his hand. "Don't think about me now; then do with me what you will. Think of those poor people. You can't drive them away now." He pushed her away, more gently this time; then he stood up. "Yes, I can't drive them away now. I have to tell Bridger that he and his daughter can stay." "Go to them at once," she begged. "Bridge's heart is broken, and only you can bring him happiness. Don't make them wait any longer." "Yes, I'll go to him right away." At this moment, Paul Castingyang seems to have no will of his own, but is driven by some mysterious power.He walked towards the door with heavy steps, as if he had aged instantly, and Grace saw him walk into the rain and disappear into the evening twilight.Standing at the window, thinking about how Paul would handle his affairs, and thinking about the possible road to divorce, she suddenly shivered; she looked at the thick trees of Jeston for the last time, and tried to imagine Out in the future awaits your own life.Reggie would not marry her, and even if he would, she would not accept her, because her passion was gone and there was only disgust for him now.She hopes the case, which she won't be defending, will get some attention; then she'll have enough money to live where she wants.In any case, she could find peace, she could live out the rest of her life in peace; she was now thankful that she had no children, that there would be no unbearable separation.Grace closed her eyes wearily. "What a fool I am!" she cried. Suddenly, all kinds of her past life suddenly appeared before her eyes, and she looked back with shame and fear at the past self, the reckless, self-defeating self. "Oh, I wish I wasn't like that now." Minutes passed, and every minute felt like an hour to her, and she began to wonder why Paul had not returned; she glanced at the clock and saw that Paul had been gone for half an hour.It took at most five minutes to walk from the house to Bridger's cabin, and it seemed strange that Paul hadn't come back yet.She was dreading the impending disaster now, and began to think wildly that perhaps the gamekeeper had done something terrible in his rage and grief without waiting for his husband's word.She was about to send a servant to check on her husband when she suddenly saw him running back; it was already dark and she could not see very well.At first, she thought she was mistaken, but it was indeed Paul.He trotted along, uncoordinated from being unaccustomed to running, and at the same time his hat was gone; the rain was beating him hard.She quickly opened the glass door from the house to the garden and let Paul in. "Paul, what's the matter?" she called. He reached out for a chair to support his rickety body; he was soaked and muddy and disheveled; looking ahead.For a while, he just put his hands on his chest, unable to speak. "It's too late," he gasped, his voice hoarse and strange.It was a horrific scene, this pompous man, who usually looks composed, was in complete panic and looked terrified. "For God's sake, give me some brandy!" Grace quickly went to the restaurant to bring him glasses and wine.He used to drink dry red wine and water sparingly, but now, with trembling hands, he poured out a full glass and drank it quickly.Then, he took out a handkerchief, wiped his face covered with rain and tears, and fell heavily into a chair next to him.But his eyes on Grace were full of fear; he tried to speak, but couldn't; Moaned clearly. "My God! For God's sake, please tell me what happened!" cried Grace. "Too late! She let herself die under the iron wheels of the London Express." She impulsively took a few steps forward, but a strange force pulled her back.She spread her hands and let out a cry of terror. "Quiet! Quiet!" he cried angrily.Then he found that he could talk, and he told the whole story very quickly, fluently, but hysterically; he was almost out of breath and didn't know what he was talking about. "I got to their cottage, and Bridget wasn't there. He'd gone to the tavern, so I went to look for him there. On the way, I met a running man who told me there had been an accident on the railway; I understood what that meant. What happened. I ran to the scene with him just in time to see them take her away. Oh, God! God! I saw her." "Oh, Paul, stop talking, I can't bear it." "I'll never forget that scene." "And what about her child?" "The baby is all right; she didn't take the baby." "Ah, what on earth have we done? Paul—me and you?" "It's all my fault," he cried, "only my fault!" "Did you see Bridget?" "No; someone ran to tell him, and I couldn't bear it any longer. Ah, I wish I could forget that." Staring at his hands, he began to shudder; then he stood up again. "I have to see Bridger." "No, you don't. Don't go to him when he's drunk and in a rage. Wait until tomorrow." "Grace, how are we going to get through tonight? I don't think I'll ever sleep again." On the next day, when Mr. Casting Young came downstairs, his wife found that he had not slept as well as herself; Pale, eyes are also very heavy.He came forward to kiss her as usual, but stopped suddenly, grimacing; he drew back a few steps, did not speak again, but sat down to breakfast.They didn't eat much, but they all put on a dignified look, unwilling to let the servants know that something unusual had happened.Before long, Paul got up to leave. "Where are you going?" she asked. "You'd better not go to Bridger's; he's been drinking all night, and if you go now, he's likely to hurt you. You know he's a bit of a curmudgeon." "Even if he kills me, do you think I'll care?" He replied in a hoarse voice, his face distorted with the look of terrible pain. "Oh, Paul, what have I done!" She broke down and began to cry. "Don't talk about that now." He walked to the door, but she jumped up. "If you're going to see Bridger, I've got to go with you. I'm really scared." "Would you mind if something happened to me?" He asked coldly. She looked at him in agony. "Yes, Paul." He shrugged and let her walk out silently with him.The good weather of the past three weeks is gone forever, and now it's just cold, with an easterly wind blowing.A white mist hovered low over the park, and the wet trees looked very gloomy.There was no sign of life in Bridger's hut, but the small garden, which was neatly manicured in the past, looked dilapidated now, as if many people had trampled on it mercilessly.Paul knocked on the door, but there was no answer, so he pulled the latch and walked in with Grace.Bridget sat at the table, staring blankly ahead, still recovering from grief and drunkenness.He looked at the two intruders blankly, as if he didn't know them. "Bridge, I'm here to tell you how sorry I am for the horrible thing that happened yesterday." This sentence seemed to make Bridget regain consciousness, he let out a soft cry, and leaned forward a little. "What else do you want? What are you doing here? Can't you just let me be quiet for a while?" He looked at Paul and started to get angry, "Do you still want me to go—me and my sons ? Give us a moment, we'll be gone." "I want you to stay. I want to make up for what you lost. I can't let you know how guilty I am. If I could turn back time, if I could stop this from happening, I would give anything for it .” "She killed herself so I wouldn't lose my job. You're such a cruel master—you always have been." "I'm so sorry. I'll try to be gentler with everyone in the future. I just thought I was doing my job." The self-proclaimed Mr. Castingyoung had never before spoken to his inferiors in an apologetic tone.He always let others be responsible for all his mistakes, and he never thought that there would be a day when he would need to make excuses. "Anyway, she's a good girl," said Bridget. "She's as good a wife as you are at heart, Mr. Castin Young." "Where's that kid?" Grace asked in a low voice. He looked up at her suddenly and ferociously. "Do you still want the child? Are you not satisfied? Does the child have to go if we are to stay?" "No, no!" she cried hastily, "of course you should keep the child, and we will do our best to help you." Paul stared at him and asked: "Bridge, can you shake my hand? I want to hear you say you can forgive me." Bridget put his hands behind his back and shook his head.Paul realized that it was useless to stay any longer, so he turned and walked towards the door.The gamekeeper's eyes, which had been fixed on him, were suddenly fixed on the gun standing beside a chair; he reached out and grabbed it.Grace reacted instantly, but restrained herself from screaming. "Mr. Casting Young!" he cried. "Ok?" Paul turned around, and when he saw the man pointing the gun at him, he straightened up and looked at him calmly. "Well, what do you want?" Bridget stepped forward and roughly pointed the gun to his master's head. "Mr. Casting Yang, take this gun away. I swear, if it was last night, I would have shot your head off with one shot. I am no longer fit to own this gun. Take it away, or if I drank and I will kill you." An indescribable smugness suddenly appeared on Paul's face, and the previous humiliation and shame disappeared.Grace, who witnessed all this from the sidelines, was very nervous and cried.Paul takes the gun and hands it to Bridger. "Your job requires it," he said coldly. "I don't think I'm afraid. I'll try my luck and see if you'll kill me." Bridget looked at his Master in amazement, then flung the gun into a corner. "My God!" he said. Paul waited a moment, wondering if Bridget had anything else to say, and then opened the door for his wife with a heavy heart. "Come on, Grace." He strode back to his home, and Grace began to adore her husband for the first time; she suddenly realized that Paul was not entirely unworthy of his authority.She put out her arms to hold her husband. "Paul, I'm really happy with what you did. I'm so proud of you." He withdrew his hand quickly, and Grace had to retract it. "Do you think I'm afraid of my gamekeeper?" he replied contemptuously. "What are you going to do with me?" she asked. "I don't know yet. I need to think about it. Is everything you told me last night true?" "It's all true." "Why are you telling me?" "It's the only way to save those poor people. If I had had the courage to speak up hours earlier, the girl wouldn't have committed suicide." He said nothing more; they walked home together in silence. In the days that followed, Paul made no mention of his wife's confession, but was busy with his own affairs--land, and council; His empathy, from which she felt the torment her husband was suffering.In the presence of his servants and his brothers, he was always careful to speak as naturally as possible so that they would not perceive anything, and at the same time to avoid being alone with his wife.His back looked more and more bent, and his walking was slow and listless, as if his legs suddenly became too heavy for his body; Puffy and dull eyes.At last Grace could bear the torment no longer; she went to find him in the study, where she knew he must be alone—and gently opened the door of the study.He sat at a desk full of blue books, and there were many pages scattered in front of him. He had to work hard to do all his duties; but he was not reading: he put his face in his hands and stared blankly. forward.After seeing his wife come in, he turned to look at her, his eyes showing dissatisfaction after being disturbed. "Paul, I'm sorry to bother you, but I don't think we can go on like this. I want to know exactly what you're going to do." "I don't know," he said, "I want to do my job." "I guess you want to divorce me." He sighed, pushed back his chair, and stood up. "Oh, Grace, Grace, why do you say that? You know how much I admire you; I would even give my life for you. I have always trusted you without reservation." "Yes, I know that. I've said it to myself thousands of times." He looked at her helplessly, and Grace couldn't help feeling sorry for him. "Do you want me to leave? Your mother can come here very conveniently. You can have a good talk with her. " "You know what she'll suggest to me," he cried. "yes." "Do you want me to ask you for a divorce?" She looked at him in agony, trying not to shed her tears; still in the midst of her intense self-reproach, she did not wish to arouse any sympathy from him. "Do you still care about—Reggie Bassett?" "No," she cried passionately, "I loathe him, hate him and despise him. I know he's no match for you." He stretched out his hand helplessly. "My God! I wish I knew what to do. At first, I wanted to kill you, and now—I know we'll never be the same again, I can't forget those things. I should hate you, But that is not the case; I still love you despite all that has gone through. If you were to leave me, I think I would die." Grace looked at her husband thoughtfully—he was suffering from various emotions and troubles.It was obvious to his own honor that he should divorce his restless wife, but he had no desire to do so; grief had long since outweighed anger and shame; yet he could not bear the scandal and public disgrace.Mr. Paul Castingyoung was an old-fashioned man who had always believed that a gentleman must try to keep his name out of the press.Nor did he like the modern idea of ​​divorce; he also vividly recalls a co-worker at his work unit who, after divorcing his wife, sought sympathy by telling her about her infidelity, which he always resented.He was proud of his family name, and he could not bear the ridicule of his family name; the thought haunted him so much that he never dared to face his wife. "I'm completely at your disposal," she said at last. "I'll do as you tell me." "Can you give me a little more time to think about it? I don't want to rush into a decision." "I think we'd better make up our minds at once, and it's a good thing for you; you're making yourself miserable. I can't bear to see you in such pain." "Don't think about me, you should think about yourself. How do you plan to live in the future, if..." He stopped, unable to continue. "What if you divorce me?" "No, I can't do that," he cried quickly. "I admit I'm a doting, weak fool, and you'll despise me more than ever; but I really can't lose you. Oh, Grace, you don't want me to ask you for a divorce, do you?" She shook her head. "It would be great if you didn't divorce me. Would you be satisfied if I left you and went abroad? I promise you, I won't do anything for you to blame me for. We don't need Tell people something; they'll think it's just an amicable separation." "I think this should be the best." Paul responded calmly. "Goodbye, then." She held out her hand to him, tears blurring everything in her eyes; but he just held her hand silently. "Paul, I want to tell you once again that I deeply regret the misfortune I have caused you. I have never been a good wife. I really hope you are happier now." "Grace, how can I be happy? You are all my happiness. I can't change that. I've been fighting these days, I've done everything I can, but even now , even though I've learned that you don't care a bit, I still love you with all my heart." Tears streamed down Grace's pale and thin face, and for a moment, she didn't know what to say.She withdrew her hand and stood in front of him with her head drooping. "Paul, I don't ask you to believe me. I have lied to you and betrayed you, and you have the right not to believe what I say. But before I go, I must tell you that I really love you now. Over the past few months, in the midst of my misfortunes, I have learned how kind and friendly you are, and I have been deeply moved by your love; you have made me ashamed. I am useless and selfish; I I tormented you often with inexplicable whims, and I never tried to amuse you; if I'm not as mean as I really am, it's because of you. That day, when you returned the gun to Bridger, I'm so proud of you, I feel so small, I want to get on my knees and kiss your hands." She took out a handkerchief and wiped away her tears, then forced herself to smile, and at that moment, she looked at him with eyes full of love like she was used to. "Don't think too bad of me, okay?" "Oh, Grace, Grace," he cried, "I can't live without you! Don't go! I need you so much. Let's try to start over." Suddenly, her face regained its former luster, and she immediately ran towards him. "Paul, do you think you can forgive me? Let me tell you, I didn't love you before, but now, I really love you." "Let's try it out." He opened his arms, and Grace let out a cry of delight, and then she fell into his arms; she put her mouth to her husband's, and he kissed her, and then she gave him an even more passionate kiss. "Dear husband," she whispered. "Oh, Grace, let us thank God for his favor with us."