Chapter 23 chapter Ten

The summer was over, and Miss Ley's life went on as usual, full of life and striving to live like a young girl, enjoying the entertainments of the seasons.She has a special knack: she can find something funny in what other people think is extremely boring, and then happily tells her good-natured jokes to the loyal Frank. He remained in London, of course, but visited Herbert Field in Tekkenbury every fortnight.He knew that his visit was limited to bringing some comfort to the Vicar's family; his good humor and sympathy made him popular, and the family wholeheartedly looked forward to his visit.And he was so good at inspiring confidence that even Bella believed that there was nothing anyone could do for her husband except Frank's efforts.Since their return from Paris they had begun a quiet life, and though at first our presiding priest was not quite used to the addition of Herbert in the family, this was soon replaced by affection; I want to admire the young man's fearless spirit in the face of illness and his bravery.When the weather turned warm, Herbert would lie in the garden all day long, enjoying the green leaves, red flowers and birds singing; Herbert gave up his learned plan, and the pastor sat with him and talked about the ancient author or his favorite rose.They always play chess for a long time, and Bella likes to watch from the sidelines, and the sunlight through the leaves always shines on them gently; Bella likes to see the triumphant smile on his father's face after confusing his opponent , and the innocent smile on Herbert's face after he found a way out of the predicament.They were all like her children, equally precious to her.

Yet Herbert's illness inexorably worsens, and eventually, he is forced to stay in bed all day long; a severe haemorrhage so drains his energy that Frank can no longer hide his worries from Bella- The child's final days are approaching. "His life had been hanging by a thread for months, and now the thread is broken. I think you may have to prepare for the worst." "You mean it's only a matter of weeks now?" she asked bitterly. He hesitated for a moment, but decided to tell her the truth. "I think it should be a matter of a few days." She was looking straight at Frank, but at the moment there was a calm look on her face, no fear or pain.

"Can't there be any more effort?" she asked. "It can't be helped. There is nothing I can do; but if my presence is any relief to you, the next time he bleeds, call me at once." "Is that the last time?" "yes." When Bella returned to Herbert, he was smiling so brightly that it seemed Frank's depressing judgment couldn't possibly be true at all. "What did Frank say?" "He says you are in very good condition," she answered Herbert, laughing, "and I hope you will be out of bed soon." "I feel better too. In two weeks, we can go to the beach."

Everyone knows that the other is hiding what they really think, but neither side is willing to give up even the unrealistic hope that they have sustained themselves for so long.For Bella, however, the pressure seemed too much to bear, and she begged Miss Ley to come and stay with her.Her father liked Herbert more and more, so she didn't dare to tell him about Herbert's current situation, hoping that Miss Ley could come to distract her father.She can no longer pretend to be happy on her own, and only the presence of another person can bring some real joy to the family at this moment.Miss Ley agreed, and soon set off for Tuckenbury; she felt a little horrified at the realization that she needed to bring some joy to a dying life; as if she had been invited to a dreadful party Watching the death of a poor child.In any case, she put in uncharacteristic energy to please our presiding pastor and sensed the significance of her conversations, and she has been painstakingly trying to manage it.It was a great pleasure for Herbert to hear the clergyman talk to Miss Ley, who often entertained him and played him amusing games of words, and which Miss Ley advanced dangerous theories which she would tactfully defend.The vicar took a great deal of pleasure from these arguments, and used all his learning and common sense to contradict her.He often leads Miss Ley into self-contradiction with questions that are not cunning, but the effect is not very obvious, because she can always get away with clever answers; or, because the only thing that matters is the phrase. beauty, which again would make her seem indifferent to the argument.In order to prove a common thing, she may say a lot of plausible things - in order to highlight those unrealistic ideas, she can even refute the logical Euclid.

"Man has four passions—" she said, "love, power, food, and the art of rhetoric; and the art of rhetoric is the only thing that can resist satiety, ennui, and restlessness." Two weeks passed, and one morning Herbert Field, who was alone with Bella, suddenly began to bleed profusely. At that moment, Bella thought he was dying.He was so exhausted that he was nearly unconscious, so Bella hurriedly called the local doctor.Soon he regained consciousness, but it was evident that the last day was at hand; he could not recover from this final blow.But human power is unlikely to be ineffective; even at the last moment there must be some kind of cure that can do something.So Bella asked Miss Ley if she could bother Frank to come again.

"We probably shouldn't bother him anyway," she said. "You don't know Frank," Miss Ley replied, "he'll be here right away." So Bella telegraphed Frank, and within four hours Frank arrived, only to find that Herbert was gone. hoped.He hovered between life and death, and the rest of the people could do nothing but wait on the sidelines.When Bella finally told her father that she had been hiding Herbert's illness from him and that he probably wouldn't survive the night, the father looked down for a moment, then turned to Frank. "May I do him a communion?"

"Does he want it?" "I think he should want it. I talked to him before and he told me that he wanted to be able to undergo this ritual before he died." "very good." Bella began to help her husband get ready, and the priest dressed in his usual work clothes.Frank also went into the bedroom to see if there was anything he could do to help him, and he stood by the window at a distance from the trio who were performing the sacred ceremony; it suddenly occurred to him that the priest looked even greater than usual, Kinder and nobler.The Messenger of God suddenly became very dignified, and as he read the prayers, a ray of light fell on his face, making him look like a pictured saint.

I tell you the truth, whoever listens to my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be condemned; he has passed from death to life. Bella was kneeling by the window, Herbert was unusually haggard at this moment, his melancholy eyes blinked unnaturally on his pale and thin face, but he listened attentively to the pastor's sermon.He had no fear at the moment, only resignation and hope; it was seen that Herbert believed completely in the promises of eternal life and the forgiveness of past sins.And Frank, restless amid all kinds of doubts, suddenly began to envy the assurance of tranquility.

The Lord has given you a body, and will preserve your body, spirit and body, for eternal life: take this sacrament to remember that Christ died three times for you, and thank him reverently in your hearts. The dying patient then received the bread and wine, which seemed to have an ineffable calming effect on his wandering soul; He found a new peace. The priest read the last few lines of prayer, stood up, and kissed the boy on the forehead.Herbert had no strength to speak, but he managed to force a smile.Before long, he fell asleep peacefully.It was almost evening now, and Frank suggested taking the pastor out to get some fresh air.

"He shouldn't be in danger for a while, is he?" asked the old man. "I don't think so. He might live to-morrow morning." They walked through the garden and came to the church quarter.It was a leafy and eerily peaceful place, the sort of place Frank had dreamed of living in.During this period, only the church bell rang occasionally.Neither of them spoke, they walked until the setting sun reminded them that it was getting late, and they got up to go back.When they got back into the house, Miss Ley told them that Herbert was awake, and asked to see the clergyman; she suggested that they should have something to eat before going to Herbert's room.He looked better, so Miss Ley asked Frank if there was any hope.

"No more. It's just a matter of a few hours." When they entered Herbert's bedroom, Herbert welcomed them with a smile, and in these last moments his thoughts seemed particularly clear.Bella turned to her father and said: "Papa, Herbert would like you to read him some more prayers." "That's what I was about to suggest," replied the priest. It was already dark, and the stars were shining brightly; through the open casements, the fragrance of the garden wafted in.Frank sat by the window, his face hidden in the shadows so that no one could see his expression.He looked at the dying young man lying on the bed - he was so still that someone who didn't know might think he was dead.Afterwards, Bella fixed the oil lamp so that her father could read the writing on the book; when he sat down, the light shone on his face and there was a wonderful scene: at the moment he looked as transparent as alabaster . "Herbert, what would you like to hear me read?" "You can read whatever you want," the child replied softly. The pastor opened the Bible in his hand thoughtfully; suddenly, he had a strange idea, so he put the book down again.The fragrance of leaves and roses at night, and the smell of dew, filled the whole room, and everything was so wonderful that it seemed that everything was in the imagination of some poet; Children with a strong love of beauty may need more than these Hebrew prophecies.His love and sympathy had lifted him to a higher plane, and reading to him would be his greatest comfort; and the priest leaned forward and whispered something to Bella.Bella showed a look of surprise, but still got up to carry out her father's order.She brought a book wrapped in a blue cloth—the poetry of Theocritus, and the priest began to read slowly to Herbert. I wooed Amaryllis with my song, while my goats were grazing up the slope, and Titirus watched them.Ah, Titirus, my dear Titirus, feed those sheep well and lead them to the other side of the mountain, Titirus... Miss Ley looked at them in amazement, and even at such moments could not help smiling ironically, for she had no affection for Theocritus.The vicar solemnly read to him the beautiful verses, the well-polished and terse language of a decadent age, and the adultery of Sicilian shepherds.Herbert listened quietly and contentedly, with a faint smile on his pale lips; and he began to indulge more and more in his dying fantasies, hearing the flute of the lonely shepherd's love and the voice of the beautiful maiden. Shy response.Even if it is only a translation, the purity of the poem is still there, and the spirit is preserved. There are sunshine and shadows in the poem, and the fragrance of flowers in spring and summer is enough to bring people satisfaction and joy. The chaplain closed the pages when he had finished reading; they all just sat in silence.The verses just now seemed to bring tranquility to everyone, so all the pressure and passion disappeared at this moment; this effect even reached Bella's heart. Although her beloved husband was about to die, she suddenly felt strange. Full of gratitude for the beauty of life.The church bell rang again, reminding people of the passage of time; every quarter of an hour, the bell would remind everyone that the unlucky time was coming, but at this time everyone was no longer afraid, thinking that it was going away Your soul is just waiting to fly to heaven. The room was very still, which was more touching than the soft music; it was as if there were only a peaceful, speechless creature resting in the chamber of death; the night was dark, the stars had lost their brilliance before the full moon, and the garden was dark.The breeze no longer caresses the big trees, and there are no rustling leaves to break the tranquility of the night; the sleeping quiet town seems to devote all its attention to this family, and it also highlights that they are facing the shadow of death alertness at the time.Suddenly, a sound pierced the sky, and then gradually weakened. No one knows how this sound started; some people may guess that it just came from the silence inexplicably; It's like light passing through that still air and suddenly it's a passionate song again.This is the nightingale singing.The still night resounded like a sounding board, and every breath in the air was trembling with magic; the nightingale sang from the hawthorn below the window, and its ecstasy ran through the garden, into the great room, into the In the ear of a dying young man.Herbert woke up suddenly, as if walking back from death.Everyone didn't move, just intoxicated by the touching and magical song.Passion, pain, and ecstasy ebb and flow in eternal harmony, and sometimes the beauty becomes so unbearable (as if at last the heart can bear it), that people cry out in grief.The music is full of grief, joy, triumph, or awareness; it hesitates, like a lover who knows his love is fruitless; it's like a dying child thinking he can no longer be known It's cute and wailing; it's like the mocking laugh of a courtesan who has killed a man.This music is weeping, it is prayer, it is the praise of the joy of life; it is sweet and gentle, it is forgiveness for sins done in the past, it is alms, peace, and rest that live forever; Big fun, colorful flowers, soft breezes, and dew and white beams from the moon.The song of the nightingale is inhuman, mesmerizing and provocative, and everyone is intoxicated by the beautiful music coming out of its throat.Herbert was strangely alert at this time, and he concentrated all his will on this last musical appreciation, which aroused his fantasy of a land he had never seen: Greece-the land with olive gardens and babbling streams. Greece, whose gray stones turn blood red in the afterglow of the setting sun, and where there are sacred groves, joyful atmosphere and sonorous speeches.In his mind the nightingale sang of its lament, of the happy shepherd, and the flying faun; The passionate moments are beginning to unfold before the eyes.At that moment, he felt that he would be happy even if he died, because the world had given him too many things, and he also avoided getting old.For Frank, however, the nightingale sings about something else—the life that comes after death, the new and promising life, the wonders of the world and the never-ending cycle of events.People come and go, stars move; the individual weighs hardly anything, yet the race continues on its journey into further nothingness; the trees lose their leaves and the flowers begin to wither, but spring brings something new, a new life ;Before the desire arises, the hope is shattered; the love that was thought to last forever is also withered; the world is endless, and the universe is always fresh and wonderful.Frank is also grateful for the life he has.Suddenly, in the middle of this song, when the nightingale seemed to muster all its strength to sing the last song, it suddenly became silent, and the whole garden suddenly trembled, as if the trees, flowers and silent birds were Distraught to go back to normal life.At that moment, the night was still trembling slightly with the moving melody before, and then the surroundings returned to the previous tranquility.Herbert began to speak softly, and Bella hurried up to him; she bent down to hear his babble. "I'm so happy," he said softly, "I'm so happy." At this time, the church bell rang again, and everyone carefully counted the number of times the big bell was struck.Everyone just sat in silence.The darkness grew weaker without knowing it; although there was no light yet, everyone felt that the dawn was at hand.A cold wind had suddenly blown into the house, and the night that was drawing to a close seemed even colder, and the velvety haze showed the delicate tint of amethyst.A faint noise came from the bed, and the priest leaned forward to listen; the last moment was at hand.He bent down and, in a very soft voice, recited his dying prayers. After the escape of the great man from the cage of the world, only in the presence of Almighty God can the spirit be perfected: we humbly praise this servant soul of thee, we entrust to you this dear brother, We humbly beg you to give him some respect.We pray that you will wash him with the pure blood of the Lamb - the Lamb slain to wash away the sins of the world; whoever defiles it will fall into it either through the lusts of the flesh or through the wiles of Satan. In the midst of the misery of the world, yet washed and forgotten, it will appear before you again pure and unblemished. Miss Ley got up and said softly to Frank: "Come on, neither you nor I can do anything more. Just leave them alone for a while." He stood up silently, and walked out gently with her. "I want to walk in the garden," she said tremblingly.After coming outdoors, she tried to relax her tense nerves, and this strong and calm woman suddenly couldn't help but shed tears.She found a bench and sat down, covered her face, and wept uncontrollably. "Oh, it's dreadful," she exclaimed, "and it hurts to think that people have to die." Frank watched her gravely, filling his pipe thoughtfully. "I see you are very distressed; I will give you some medicine after dawn." "Stop talking nonsense," she cried, "I don't need your stupid pills." He made no answer, but lighted his pipe deliberately; though Miss Ley did not realize it, his words had a great soothing effect.She wiped away her tears and took his hand.They walked slowly up and down the lawn; Miss Ley, who was not used to expressing her feelings, was still shivering, and Frank felt her trembling. "It's only then that you and I feel utterly helpless. When people's hearts ache from a few words of comfort, when they're terrified by the unknown, we can just shrug and tell them we There's nothing we can do about it. Not seeing the people we love so much is a horrible thing, and the thought of all that awaits us is cold death. I try not to think about death - I hope forever Don't think about it; yet it's a nuisance, a nuisance. As I grow older, my zest for life grows. Anyway, even though human beliefs are naive and untrue, having beliefs is not always Is it better than no belief at all? Superstition is a small price to pay and an endless source of support in that last moment of life, when everything else doesn't matter. How can one have the heart to strip those minds The right of simple people to final consolation?" "Do you think most people can give their souls to faith? Of course we need faith, sometimes it is so strong that we all have to pray to a God who knows there is no such thing. If there is no hope, be independent It's really hard to move forward." As they went on, the birds began to sing happily; Nature awoke, slowly and lazily, from her deep sleep.The night is gone, but the day has not yet come.Trees and flowers showed a certain ghostly gloom, and the pre-dawn air was fresh and pleasant: everything was bathed in a strange violet light, and seemed to take on new outlines and hues.The rustling leaves in the early morning are full of life, and the sky is gray and cloudless, reflecting the color of amethyst.Suddenly, a ray of yellow light pierced the sky-the sun rose. "You know," said Frank, "it seems to me that people have not only a life instinct, but a death instinct; everywhere there are very old people looking for relief, just as the general public is looking for survival. Perhaps in This will become more common in the near future; just as certain insects, after having fulfilled the duties of life, die willingly and completely lose the desire to live, so it is possible that human beings may feel the same someday. .At that time, death will no longer be a terrible thing, and we will die as calmly as we always sleep after sunset." "What else?" Miss Ley asked, with a wry smile on her face. "At the same time, we have to have courage. When we are sane, we always plan for life, and when we are in trouble, we also have to persevere. I hope that when I come to the end of my life and look back on this life , without any regrets; and when I look forward, without any fear." At this time, the sun lit up the whole garden, and the beauty of nature surpassed all human language in this morning, showing the beauty of life and the joy of the world.The birds were still singing their merry songs--thrushes, chickadees, and chirping sparrows; and the flowers were spreading their fragrance defiantly.The garden was full of roses, in bud, in bloom, and withered, standing side by side with the splendor of yesterday; Over a hundred years old; the whole atmosphere is very pleasant, and even just standing there and breathing can bring endless happiness to people. They were walking when suddenly Miss Ley let go of Frank's hand with a cry and stepped forward. Bella was sitting on a bench under a tree, the sun shining on her face, her eyes wide open. Looking at her, the worry on her face instantly disappeared.There was happiness in her expression, so, in that moment, she was a beautiful woman. "Bella, what's the matter?" cried Miss Ley. "Bella!" Then she looked down at Bella and put her hands on her, for now there were tears in Bella's eyes.Yet a charming smile floated on her lips. "When the sun shone into the house, he went; God built him a golden bridge, and he did so without pain." "Oh, poor boy!" Bella shook her head and smiled again. "I'm not sorry; I'm grateful that his ordeal is over at last. He went so peacefully that I didn't notice it at first. It was really hard for me to believe he wasn't asleep. I told my father. Then, I saw a beautiful butterfly hovering low and round the room - a golden butterfly of the kind I had never seen before. I couldn't help staring at it because it looked like it knew it was going to It was going in the same direction, and then it flew into the beam and went with it - out into the blue sky; then it was out of sight." A week later Miss Ley was back in London, where she wanted to spend August, partly because deciding where to go on holiday was a problem for her, and partly because Mrs Barlow Bassett was admitted to a private hospital to have an operation; but more important was Frank's presence—that would ensure she had someone to talk to when she wanted to.She's had a great time this month - with many of her acquaintances out of London on holiday, the city suddenly feels like a foreign capital again, allowing her to do what she wants without being judged by others. Criticized as capricious or eccentric.Miss Ley dined with Frank in the seedy diner in Soho, where neither the tablecloths nor the regulars were satisfactory; The French, and eavesdropping on the conversations of eloquent and self-assured women of little social standing.Together they went to concerts by the river, or sat on the roof of the bus, and had long discussions about the weather, immortality, the meaning of life, the little flaws of their friends, Shakespeare, and schistosomiasis. Miss Ley left Bella and the presiding priest of Tkenbury.After Bella became a widow, she never lost her dignity and peace.She didn't shed tears while burying her husband's body, she just stood so absent-minded that day, as if she was participating in a formal ceremony that meant nothing to her.But our pastor couldn't understand what his daughter was thinking. He was so sad that he was almost overwhelmed by grief, but it was his daughter who had to comfort him from time to time.Bella kept repeating that even now Herbert was with them; the furniture of the house, the roses in the garden, the blue sky, all began to have a special meaning.Herbert seemed to be in all these things, sharing their beauty and adding to them a more subtle charm. Soon Miss Ley received a letter from Bella, with a letter from Herbert a few days before his death.Bella wrote in the letter: The accompanying letter reads: The letter ended abruptly. It seemed that he wanted to say something, but he didn't wait for the opportunity.She read the letter to Frank on his next visit to Miss Ley's. "Have you noticed?" she asked, "that everything he says resonates with us. Yet the only thing philosophers and priests agree on is that this is just a lower part of us that must be firmly suppressed. They both put intellectuals on a higher plane.” "They're lying. You can tell by comparing the care they take with their stomachs with the carelessness with which they use their brains, they don't really believe in anything. They put up with all sorts of things to make food digestible, nutritious, and healthy. Trouble, but they take whatever crap they come across. When you compare people's choice of books with the care they take when ordering dinner, you see that, no matter what they claim, they The concerns of the brain are always vastly greater than those of the brain." "I wish I had said it," said Miss Ley thoughtfully. "I don't doubt you can say that," Frank responded.