Chapter 39 Lesson 12 Exploring the Pleasures of Sex - 1

Due to the popularization of sexual knowledge, women gradually realize their own rights and interests, and then frankly express their needs and desires. Men no longer have an absolute sexual advantage.Unfortunately, with the openness of sexual concepts, men seem to be facing a great crisis, which is the so-called "sexual anxiety". Although many men claim to appreciate sexy, unrestrained and active women, it is undeniable that there will inevitably be doubts and fears in their hearts, and they will gradually doubt their own sexual abilities.This is a problem that modern women must not ignore.The rise of female sexual consciousness not only weakens the male chauvinism that has been rampant for a long time, but also brings unprecedented anxiety to men.In order to escape that fear, many people even deliberately suppress their own desires.

Maintaining sexual self-esteem is an issue that men take extremely seriously.Sometimes, women can't even understand men's attitudes toward maintaining sex; and why sexual anxiety arises is also beyond the reach of women. For men, "sex" is not just a physical feeling, it has a very important meaning, representing self-achievement and conquest.Women's interpretation of sex is different. It is a spiritual fit and brings physical stimulation.Generally speaking, men focus more on physical enjoyment in the process of sexual intercourse, and more importantly, it also affirms the masculinity.The most painful thing for men is that they cannot achieve the consummation of sexual love, and the consummation of sexual love is the main criterion for their self-evaluation.

Due to the generation of sexual anxiety, many men conceived their inner expectations, and they longed for a penis as hard as steel, because this is a symbol of male authority. If a man is anxious during sexual intercourse, a large amount of adrenaline will be secreted in the body soon, which will damage the originally sensitive nervous system and cause the blood vessels to contract sharply.After the blood vessels are constricted, the blood flow is naturally not smooth, and the penis cannot be erected.In other words, sexual anxiety necessarily creates impotence. In terms of sex life, some men don't know how to tell each other, how to tell each other that they don't want to have sex.In fact, this is a very normal thing, and there is nothing wrong with it.But they always think so.To be born as a man must have an inexhaustible source of ability, ready to go at any time.So they deliberately find some excuses to prevaricate, even at the expense of causing disputes, in order to hide their own shortcomings.

Due to psychological and physical limitations, men don't want to face a woman who takes the full initiative. They only hope that the other party can respond enthusiastically when they want it.Of course, this is not absolute, nor is it that women should not take the initiative.Here I just want to tell everyone that women who are too active often cause psychological threats to men, and this anxiety often kills the fulfillment of sexual life.If you can understand these principles, then try to make the other person accept sex without fear. Men are not only worried about their lack of sexual ability, but also afraid that they will not be able to satisfy the other party.In the previous society, "sex" was the monopoly of men, and women were at best just the object of venting. Who would care about women's feelings? But now it is different. Women are aware of their own needs and the right to pursue satisfaction , So "female orgasm" caused another kind of panic in men's psychology.

Any woman can achieve orgasm, as long as the man has enough patience and lovemaking skills.Due to the difference in physiological structure, women need teasing and caressing in advance to slowly enter the situation, unlike men who can be satisfied as long as they vent.However, many men are still unable to enjoy the caressing process before sex, and even regard it as a strenuous job.The emotions of making love affect each other, and the impatience of one party will definitely bring uncomfortable and unpleasant feelings to the other party.In the end, both partners will feel exhausted, irritable and impatient, and may even develop a tendency toward frigidity.

In order to maintain the dignity of men, men do everything possible to make the other party climax, but they deprive themselves of their own feelings invisible.In the absence of stimulation, a man can't stand up naturally, the more he doesn't lift up, the more restless his heart will be.It's an endless vicious circle. All in all, many sexual failures are entirely due to the over-eager mentality of men, who are deeply afraid that they will not be able to bring satisfaction to the other party. If both men and women can try to relax and enjoy giving and receiving to the fullest, many problems will naturally be solved.

For sex and love, men and women have completely different ideas and views. Here are nine "hearts" of men's sexual views and behaviors. Do you know them? 1. Don’t Give Ambiguous Signals Men are naturally simple animals who can easily confuse things.If you are careless again, even if you are careless, misled him. Imagine you come home from get off work on a hot afternoon and you don't even think about sex in the heat of the day, you just want to cool off as quickly as possible; Take off the skirt and take off the pantyhose.Of course you feel incredibly relieved, and your man is sitting in the living room, and he came home 5 minutes before you, also sweating, holding a cold can of beer.He could see everything you just did. For him, the act of undressing you may not be a way to relieve fever, but a kind of tease... Right in the living room, yes! Take off all your clothes together clothing.

2 sometimes can not save energy Men like the stimulation of sight, although you don't want your every move to be exposed to the light during sex, but if you can overcome this psychology, it's better to let him get visual satisfaction occasionally.Many women feel shy about having sex with lights on. Of course, the safest thing to do is to have sex in the dark with a big veil.However, "you accommodate me, I accommodate you" is the fairest way to get along, not to mention that you may gradually get used to it, and it is okay to have sex under the light occasionally. 3 Cooperation is the most important

If you two do enough communication work, the more you will cooperate in sex life, so don't just lie in bed and let him do it, there are two basic things you can try to be proactive as the first step to enhance cooperation step: First, if it's been just him asking for sex all this time, the easiest new way to collaborate is for you to ask now. Second, it's up to you to create a "sex night plan," including when, where, and in what positions. 4 not really want a bunny girl In real life, many men will read some publications before going to bed at night, but in fact, he will not really want a bunny girl after reading it, he will only follow you to your bed and long for your comfort, and of course he wants make love to you.He knows that you are not the poster girl in the book, and even if you are not a bunny girl, he will love you for your unique advantages.If you do turn into a bunny, he might be scared away instead.

5. There is not a day when a man does not look at a woman In addition to looking at their wives and girlfriends, men will often hunt other women with their eyes.He might hold back a bit when you're around him, but it doesn't stop there.If he stops looking at other women, he may not even be interested in seeing you anymore, or even in sex.This is definitely not a good thing for you. 6Love a man should not just love with "heart" You don't have to be a great performer in bed, but you shouldn't be completely sex-averse either.Although the older a man is, his sexual needs will decrease, but there are still needs.If you lose interest in sex, don't just say that women don't like sex by nature, that's nonsense.Women lose their libido, usually due to many different factors, and you should talk to your doctor.

7 Ways Men Can Separate Sex And Love You have to know that if you see your man fooling around with another woman, don't ruin a relationship that has lasted a long time without careful consideration.Sometimes he really does it just for the sex, and if you both still love each other deeply, there is still a chance that your relationship can be salvaged.If that man is a repeat offender, of course he should not make excuses and speak up for his crimes.But many examples tell women that if you forgive him, you can still be very loving in the future. 8 Men need help as they get older Not every man has obvious signs that he has reached the period of sexual decline, and the weakening of a man's sexual ability does not mean that your sex life is over, but that he needs a long prelude more than you. You can infer from his several consecutive sexual performances: if he is stimulated for a certain period of time during sexual intercourse under normal circumstances, he will mostly ejaculate.But recently he has been discouraged many times in a row and has lost his heroic qualities.At this time, he definitely needs your help, so don't make trouble. 9 Rejecting him is tantamount to hurting him Rejecting him once or twice is of course not a big deal, but when your relationship with him is long-term wishful thinking, it is a sign that there is actually a problem between you that needs to be resolved.If you and he both ignore the seriousness of the problem, but you only follow the ostrich policy and always refuse his sexual request, the problem will never be solved, and he will not be able to solve his own sexual needs. There are many misunderstandings about sexual desire, which will be detrimental to the development of the relationship between the husband and wife. The most common misunderstandings are as follows. Both husband and wife should understand the real situation in order to promote the relationship between the two parties. 1 Is libido a natural function like breathing? No, experts emphasize that no one knows what sexual desire is all about by instinct, so as to understand sexual desire. "If sex Desire is purely physical and we experience the same. " Sexual desire exists in the human brain, not in the sexual organs. Sexual desire is different from physical excitement. When the body responds to sexual stimulation, it will lubricate the vagina and erect the penis. Sexual desire is controlled and dominated by the brain. That is to say, there is no " "Standard" level, the most important thing is that the two people's sexual desire levels are similar. 2Intimacy kills sexual desire in a fixed relationship Sexual desire does not disappear in a long-term relationship, but it can change, and in the early stages of a relationship, it can be heightened by sexual tension and curiosity. Many people still believe that intense sex is the best. However, the weakening of sexual desire in marriage is not caused by marriage, but by people's psychological immaturity. "When you are young, your sexual desire will be enhanced by a new partner. Sexual desire is heightened by the growing intimacy of the relationship." 3 Men can have sex anytime, anywhere This misconception puts pressure on both sexes, with men thinking that they are ready to have sex as long as their partner wants to.A woman will think that the other party has not done this, may not be interested in her, or has another woman outside.Experts emphasize that no matter men or women, there will be no lasting sexual desire. 4 Libido is ruled by hormones The different levels of hormones in the menstrual cycle affect women's sexual needs, but this does not mean that hormones control our sexual desire. If it can be controlled, then the sexual desire will disappear when menopause occurs.In fact, libido is still there after menopause, and it will increase. For men, hormones have the same effect, although hormones affect male libido, but the main part of the impact is still the brain. 5 When a man has sex with a woman he likes, he will often maintain an erection Some women mistakenly believe that a man's erection reflects their desire, so they feel rejected when an erection doesn't last. In fact, changes in penile hardness, unlike changes in vaginal lubrication, can't keep an erection just not being ready , or his inattention, which makes the mood fluctuate. Anything that affects your mood can affect your libido, so when they're worried or depressed, it's hard to get an erection. 6 Unsolicited sex as a way of expressing desire for a partner In fact, there are various reasons for men to have sex. Sometimes, men and women take the initiative to ask for sex because they want to be more intimate. "Many people separate sex and intimacy because they can't handle both at the same time." Experts say that's why many women feel lonely after having sex.A survey found that 72% of women would rather hug than have sex, because they feel that sex is not as intimate as hugging. Sometimes, people use sex to relieve tension or anger. Sex for this reason makes it difficult for you to tell if it’s good for your partner. real desire.Next time you have sex, think about why you are having sex. 7 Does Sexual Desire Cause Love? In fact, the opposite is true. Love stimulates libido. Unfortunately, when people feel low libido, they begin to doubt their love for their partner, and their partner interprets the lack of libido as a blame on them. But the actual disorder of libido is often related to Lack of love has nothing to do with it.Experts point out that the more you are willing to touch your partner, the more sexually aroused you will feel.You are willing to share all your love with your partner, and your libido will naturally increase. Only by digging out the fear of men in terms of sex can women give him effective help, thereby enhancing the relationship between the two parties. 1 Fear of women who care about size Men worry about the size of their penis as much as women worry about their breast size. Your ignoring the question—that is, not talking about it—has helped him overcome his fear.When you have sex, simply tell him you feel good, and his sexual confidence will increase and he will appreciate your thoughtfulness. 2 Fear of not knowing when women need more stimulation "During sex, my wife usually fondles her clit herself. Sometimes I do, but she pushes my hand away. Isn't that what she needs for clitoral stimulation? I wonder. " In fact, the average man does not know much about the physiological structure of women.Therefore, you have to give him guidance: try not to use words to guide, but use hands to guide.You just hold his hand and guide him to make actions that make you feel good. 3 Fear of not getting enough erections during sex Men over the age of 30 usually have this fear.Because men are over 30 years old, erections are often not strong. "I'm almost 40 and my penis isn't hard enough. I'm still getting it but my wife doesn't seem too happy about it." If he has problems with erections, the problem will get worse if you talk about it.The best solution is to caress his genitals with your hands, or let him perform vaginal stimulation.In this way, the erection of the penis will become harder. 4 Fear of women faking orgasms "Shortly after we got married, my wife told me that she sometimes faked orgasms. This annoyed me. Now, I don't know when she's real and when she's faking. I'm afraid of her faking orgasms because it means she's lurking. Dissatisfied, and I don't know it." Some women equate faking an orgasm with saying something nice to someone else.In fact, the two are different.You shouldn't fake an orgasm by saying, "I'm sorry, I'm so tired. I'm actually quite satisfied just being intimate with you." 5 Afraid that women will not let him watch her masturbating “Watching my wife undress turned me on. Sometimes, during the climax of sex, I saw her caressing herself, and I got even more excited. I asked her to masturbate in front of me, and she accused me of being crazy.” Indeed, some Women will masturbate in front of their partners as part of making love.However, many women believe that masturbation is a private matter rather than an act of intimacy with a partner.In fact, women don't have to blame their husbands for this. It will be much beneficial to the relationship between the two parties to express their thoughts clearly. 6 Fear that she won't have multiple orgasms The legend of multiple orgasms drives not only men but also women crazy.In fact, it is enough for two people to share happiness and intimacy from sex.An orgasm, even without an orgasm, is irrelevant. If you are satisfied with the current sex, please tell him clearly.Because many men are obsessed with whether their partner can get orgasm, or multiple orgasms are his responsibility.You should explain to him that everything in the relationship, including sex, is a shared responsibility. 7 Fear of having sex that lasts too long If a man makes love for only five or six minutes, not only will he be dissatisfied, but he is afraid that his partner will be dissatisfied as well.Both men and women know that it takes a long time for women to become excited, it takes a long time to reach orgasm, and it takes a certain amount of afterplay time. If he can't last that long, increase the time of foreplay and afterplay, or add some new ingredients to sex, sex will not be fun. 8. Fear of partner's reluctance to add new ingredients to sex "I love my wife very much. The only thing I don't like about her is that she is too conservative in sex and doesn't want to add new things." Indeed, the nature of sex varies.Some women are open and bold, others are very reserved.In fact, as long as the two parties are sincerely in love, it doesn't matter what sexual orientation it is.But, having said that, as long as women are a little more open and add some new elements in the sexual aspect, it will be beneficial to the relationship between the two parties. If you want to achieve sexual orgasm, you should freely use the sense of touch to stimulate yourself.Touch your partner's whole body, and let him touch you, without exception. When you enjoy the sensation of touch and feel his manliness different from that of women, you can experience the magic of nature.Run your hands over his buttocks and don't miss anything, enjoying every inch of his body while also asking him to explore your body and get the senses turned on by participating. If your partner gets over-excited easily, it's best to start by stimulating yourself first. With practice and experimentation, you will be more in control and can help you reach a more excited state.If he can't, you have to divert his attention and let him stimulate you.Don't be prudish, only by asking can you get the life you really want to live.In the old one-way selfish sexual relationship, women were treated as passive recipients by men, but this is outdated. One of the most effective ways for men to relax and excite women is to touch women calmly.In the technique of touching the body, there is tenderness and consideration.Touching can stimulate and accelerate blood circulation, and the changes of touching can be varied, let people think about it.Gently caressing can build a trusting relationship between partners. Some people find rough touching more stimulating than gentle touch.You can start with gentle stroking and add stimulation with occasional light taps.You can do different variations by gently patting with your fingertips, or gently stroking. Couples must communicate with each other about this, ask frankly, and speak up if they don't want to.Many people's sense of touch is idle, and it's up to you to find out where your potential lies. Women generally believe that taste has a strong impact on sexual response.You may recall that, in the story of Cleopatra and Antony, it is this woman who "seduces and arouses his passion with the scent of her body." Since ancient times, men and women around the world have used balms, or spices, to help them secure and protect a mate.They put spices on their hair, skin, mouth and clothes, the main purpose is to seduce their partners; some people also use spices as secret sacrifices, praying to God to let the lost partners know the way back. In ancient times, strange fragrances were not only used to enhance sexual sensations, but also to cover up the odors of men and women.Ancient times were not like today, so it is understandable that proper odor masking was a must.The concern about the original smell of one's own body has reached the point of worry, which is unique to human beings.Other animals are attracted to the body odor of their own kind, rather than repelling it. With the liberalization of sexual attitudes, more and more cosmetic pharmacists are engaged in the development of the relationship between fragrance and aphrodisiac effect, both women's and men's products, and new products are introduced to the market every day. There are hundreds of products on the market today designed to remove all odors from the human body, including the mouth, hair, hands, underarms, feet, and genitals. Men want women to be clean and scented.And for women to make their partner and themselves feel comfortable, they have to actually do it, bathe often, and experiment with scents until they find what works best for both of you.Fully experience and test your senses, rejuvenate them, and you will be ecstatic with the pleasure felt by both parties. In short, to achieve the highest level of sexual satisfaction, you must concentrate on doing some exercises.You may sometimes simply skip certain exercises, and if you don't, your progress will be delayed because only constant repetition will be effective. On the contrary, if you practice diligently and focus on reaching your goal, you can guarantee that you will have a great harvest.Remember, your revision plan includes not only developing good sex habits, but also breaking old habits that are harmful to you. Remember that emotional motivation stimulates your inner strength and furthers your true potential.Try to ask more of yourself, then your gains will be greater.Know that to have an active sex life, first identify your needs and get to them ASAP! Experts stress that men don't know much about women's sexuality.Extensive research has shown that men currently have the following major misconceptions about female sexuality. 1 Women cite intercourse as their most important sexual activity "I feel that other sexual activities are more interesting than intercourse," says Karen. "In addition to sexual organs, there are many sexy parts.I love being caressed on the back and kissed on the neck. " However, for most men, sex without intercourse is like playing basketball without shooting hoops.In fact, men who are willing to spend time in foreplay still think about intercourse next.Women, on the other hand, are quite content with good foreplay. 2 Women love rude prodding "When it comes to sex, I put myself first," says David. "My activities were fast and heavy, and I thought she liked it too." In fact, women prefer slow and gentle activities. "Whenever I insert a hard penis, I worry that the vagina will be damaged," Nancy said. Experts point out that rude activities against men should be brought up.If he doesn't change it, you can bring it up again.If you don't mention it, it will deepen his misunderstanding. 3 women should be able to orgasm through traditional intercourse "To be honest, I like the traditional penis-vaginal intercourse, it's not too much trouble, why can't she orgasm sometimes?" Rick said. Experts point out that many men, like Rick, have such misunderstandings.Very few women achieve orgasm through this traditional method of intercourse.Good at stimulating the clitoris, but can often reach orgasm.What to do? One is to tell him how to stimulate; the other is to guide him to stimulate; the third is to demonstrate to him by masturbating. 4 Women think fast is better During sex, men don't spend too much time creating an intimate, happy atmosphere. "It's actually because we think fast is better," John said, "because we view intercourse as the most important sexual activity, and we disdain those sexual activities that promote intimacy and female excitement, so we have sex very quickly and climax quickly. , and end sexual activity." Women, however, love lingering, slow foreplay, intercourse, and afterplay.They believe that only in this way can they enjoy sexual pleasure. 5 Messages from Women Some men said the messages from the women confused them. "Once, my girlfriend kissed me passionately and enjoyed it very much," Robert said. "I thought, after a minute or two, it would be natural for her to ask for sex, but it didn't." Experts point out that men often replace women's thoughts with their own thoughts. They often think of women's actions and associate them with sex.In many cases, women's initiative to kiss and hug the man is an expression of love, not a sexual request.If a man is confused by a message from a woman, it's best to ask, "Do you need it?" 6 Women's Bodies Like Their Bodies "There are parts of her that I like to touch, parts that I like to be touched by her," Smith said. This is the psychology of self-focus.In this psychological dominance, men use their bodies and their sexuality as a litmus test for women's bodies and sexuality. Experts believe that women's bodies are not like men's bodies, and women's bodily reactions vary from person to person.It's best, if he caresses you with pleasure, you say yes; if he doesn't feel pleasure, you say no. 7 Women Like Intimacy, Not Sex "Women trade sex for love, men trade love for sex. Once a woman has sex with you, she loves you," Frank said.This is indeed a big misunderstanding.Most men don't believe that women demand sex purely for physical outlets. Experts point out that women sometimes demand sex for the pleasure of it.Therefore, when you have some needs, you should make it clear.If you're embarrassed, suggest to him that he's not so stupid that he doesn't understand. 8 Women Take Sex Seriously Men take sex more seriously than women.The survey shows that most men regard sex as the goal of pursuit, so when they have sex, they should do it carefully and silently. During sexual activity, women like to talk and laugh.They believe that convivial sex promotes intimacy.That being the case, during sexual activity, play soft music, light candles, and create a joyous atmosphere.You are sure to have more fun. 9 Women have a narrow range of libido Do women have a narrow range of libido? No. "I thought I knew women and their sexual desires, but I didn't," says Philippe. "I once had sex with my girlfriend, and she offered to do it in an empty oil drum. I didn't expect that." Experts point out that, like men, women have a wide range of sexual desires.So, you can explore sexually together and have more fun. If you ask a sex expert, "At what age do men and women reach sexual orgasm?" the standard answer is: "Numbers don't matter, age doesn't matter, what matters is the spiritual connection between sex partners. No matter what their age is .” But experts ask people, "Why do you need sex?" The answer varies largely by age and gender. Women aged 22 to 35 said love was the main reason, and women aged 36 to 57 said fun was the main motivation.As for men, the answer is just the opposite for women.Younger men said fun was the main reason they had sex, and more than half of older men surveyed said they had sex for love. Your age helps you determine how your body and mind respond to sex.You're not entirely limited by age - your sexuality is shaped by upbringing, where you live, and life experiences.The more you know about how age affects your sex drive, the more sexual pleasure you can enjoy in your 20s, 30s, 40s and beyond. 1 Female in the age group of 20 Women in the early part of this period have less sexual experience than sexual knowledge.This period is the transition from adolescence to adulthood - the stage of acquiring knowledge. Anna, 22, said she knew very little about sex until she met her boyfriend, 28. "He helped me a lot sexually," she says. "He was very open, and at first, I thought, 'Oh my god, he's going to tell me, I should know.'" Six years after Anna had sex , to enjoy the pleasure of sex, and feel that the sex has reached adulthood. "In their 20s," say sex experts, "most women are more concerned with how their bodies look than with how they function." Surveys done by sex experts show that many young women can't orgasm because they're not getting the sex they need Stimulate.Their young partners don't know that women's bodies need enough caresses, and don't have the courage to ask them.Sex takes skill at any age, and in your 20s, it takes more. "The problem with young women is the lack of orgasm," says sex experts. "Women who lack orgasm find that they are prone to a vicious cycle that results in less enjoyment of sex. After a period of non-orgasmic sex, they often experience guilt, shyness, and feelings of inadequacy." Some of these women never orgasm , others are available at least once in a lifetime.While both types of women respond well to treatment, the former type is less likely to respond. Another problem for young women is painful sex.The reason for this problem is sometimes psychological, and sometimes it is not enough excitement and less lubricating fluid, which causes pain. 2 Men in their 20s Penis and androgen hormones in young men are overestimated.Although men reach their sexual peak in their 20s, there are many aspects of sex that keep them mystified. "Men and teenage boys, never really talk about sex," sex experts say. "They're just bragging or joking about sex." To 20-year-old men, women's bodies seem much more complex than theirs.He knows what makes him feel good.His testosterone levels were peaking, but he had no experience. Men in their 20s start to understand that negotiation is one of the tricks of making love.Because of their sexual instincts and their sexual partners' inconsistencies, consultation is important. Although 20-year-old men have more difficulty controlling ejaculation than older men, they can easily get erections and "grow" the time of making love with multiple erections. 3 Women in their 30s For most women, 30 is a turning point both physically and mentally.They start to get serious about their bodies.However, it is good for women.Part of her general character is still in constant flux, as it was in her twenties.Due to the fixed personality, at this time, she feels more comfortable with her sexual self, and this part of her personality is more exposed.At the age of 30, there are few physical and sexual changes.Therefore, women's libido did not change. "The decline in sexual arousal among women in their 30s is tiny," says the sex expert.It takes a long time for her to go from zero to full excitement, however, many women (and their partners) don't see this as a problem. At the age of 30, the speed of reaching orgasm is not as urgent as at the age of 20. Her body has changed little compared to changes in other areas of her life. "I can see that a lot of roles are being added to women in their 30s and it's burdening them," says the sex expert. "In addition to the role of partner and mother, there is also the role of self and staff, which are all they have to take on." Therefore, women during this period become very tired and feel that they cannot fulfill the four roles well.As a result, her libido dropped significantly.The good thing is that she and her partner are more sensitive to the dynamics of their sexual relationship than they were in their 20s, so life and sex seem to be simpler. The fact that a 30-year-old woman feels pregnancy at least once more than a 20-year-old woman can have a big impact on her sex life.The physical changes associated with childbirth can make any position for sex uncomfortable.If she's breastfeeding, androgen levels are lower than usual, resulting in less libido and less lubrication.Due to parenting, she had to readjust her sexual priorities. 4 Men in their 30s By this time, they discovered that the 20-year-old knew very little about sex. According to the survey, men in this period have more sex than other periods.A survey of 800 men found that men in their 30s had an average of 17 more orgasms a year than men in their 20s. The sexual problems of 30-year-old men are more psychological than physical.Although his ejaculation and erection are not as strong as when he was 20 years old, his body is still healthy.And, his skill more than makes up for it.He can enjoy great sexual pleasure as before. 5 Women in their 40s By age 40, a woman's sexual response has a lot to do with her general life situation.She may be comfortable with birth control methods.Her relationship is probably pretty stable.She and her partner may experience less stress at work.Therefore, when making love, she is very relaxed and can fully enjoy the pleasure of sex. When she was sexually aroused, her body experienced the same changes in her 20s. Although these sexual arousal phenomena gradually weakened with age, she could not feel it obviously. 40-year-old women are also worried about sexual desire. "Some women in their 40s start to have questions about their sexual responsiveness," says sex experts. "Earliest symptoms of experience may reveal: irregular ovulation, etc." Other changes that affect women at this time are: breast sagging, stretching of vaginal and uterine muscles.Uterine prolapse is also common.If the uterus is pressing on the bladder, she feels pain during intercourse. However, she should not give up.She has the ability to participate and have fun, and the hormones are working in her favor.During menopause and beyond, estrogen and progesterone are produced at reduced levels and eventually disappear from the bloodstream.However, the male hormone androgen — the sex drive hormone — increases in the bloodstream.As a result, her libido actually increases. 6 Men in their 40s 40-year-old men usually face such problems.Gravity affected his penis the same way it affected the rest of his body, loosening the skin.As a result, the scrotum sags more than before. The duration and volume of ejaculation is reduced and, as a result, orgasms are shorter and less intense.It still feels good, but it goes away quickly. The biggest worry for men in their 40s is how long it takes to get a second or third erection during sex.Even if there is no problem with erection, men of this age need more direct sexual stimulation to be excited. Experts point out that although age has a great impact on sexual desire, if two people talk frankly and cooperate faithfully, they can make up for the deficiency and increase sexual pleasure. 过去的社会，一直认为提出性要求只是男性的权利，要是女性谈论性爱和提出性要求，将会被视为放荡。今天，我们要彻头彻尾改变这看法，这样才能真正得到性乐趣。 对很多女性来说，说出在床上的需要仍然是个禁忌。可是，这种表达将会使你婚姻生活和谐美满，每个女性都应学会表达内心的意愿。 “我不能在床上提出我的要求，”嘉欣说，“有时志伟问我，'我如何做好呢?你想改变一下形式吗?'但是，我不好意思，我开不了口。” 虽然嘉欣是个美丽的女强人，但她说不出内心的性要求并不出奇。大多数女性仍然感到提出自己的性需要是件相当困难的事。在工作上，包括嘉欣在内的很多女性，能够敢作敢为，但是，在性方面，她们却无进取精神。 女性在性生活中主动提出意见，其实很重要。在初期的热烈性爱后，性乐趣很大程度取决于你们能够做些特别的事，而女性提出的要求便是保持新鲜感的源泉。 婚姻会因女性不能提出要求而亮红灯。“我们结婚7年，振英仍不知道我得不到高潮，”淑慧说。“现在我发现我不想做爱，因为我从中得不到乐趣。我知道，我应改善，否则婚姻将遭受挫折。”振英和淑慧初次做爱时，她伪装高潮，而不提出自己的要求。几年后的现在，她要为过去的伪装付出代价，她对性生活失去了兴趣。 嘉欣认为提出要求难开口，其实是缺乏基本的性自信。 第一个原因是她缺乏性自信，害怕提出性要求会令对方讨厌。一般错觉认为这不应是女性的行为，并对这样的女性冠以“放荡”的形容词。嘉欣有这样的感觉是很自然的，今天，仍存在着对女性性欲的矛盾看法。女性有权要求性的乐趣，但是存在双重标准：她们的性行为在某方面仍受到男性的控制和不同评价。 第二个原因是性的语言。当然，女性很有语言天分，且善长于道出感觉。感觉是女性的专长，她们可以一谈便谈上几小时，但一谈到性便无言以对。“真不能相信你如此怕羞，你完全不谈性方面的事，”志伟对嘉欣说。清晰的性语言似乎为男性专有。 第三个性自信的障碍，是最难处理的。如果你有勇气提出性要求，但你的伴侣却不听，那怎么办?“男性似乎对女性的性反应有固执的看法，而且不愿改变，这使女性感到棘手，”一位女性说。 过去几年，不论男性，还是女性，均可从专家的著作中，了解到女性的性反应。但也有很多男性，希望从伴侣那里了解女性的性反应。如果你发现，你的伴侣不接受你的意见，这显示出你未必能控制好将来的性乐趣。 此外，有一点要留意的，就是不能随便告诉他你的性幻想，即使你很爱他。有些性专家认为，分享幻想有时可增加乐趣，有时却引起不必要的麻烦。很多性幻想是稀奇古怪的，或令人痛苦的。性交时大多数性幻想，是和另外的人做爱，你将这样的性幻想告诉他，会令他不快。洁灵曾将这样的性幻想告诉伴侣，他竟然大怒说，“你既然喜欢和那个臭男人做爱，你去找他吧!”因此，你在打算让伴侣分享性幻想前，必须三思。 学会在生活的任何方面建立信心，你必须先改变你思想中的概念。因此，你要留意心中想说的话，例如，“不要主动，这样安全些”，或“过分热情的女性会使男性失去性兴奋”。然后想一想，这样的话会否使你变得消极或害怕。于是以你感到坚强的话去取代它，例如，“我有权在床上享受乐趣”，或“男性喜爱了解性需要的女性”。每次你能提出你的要求，的确是件好事。记住，这是新尝试，你要大胆，自信才做得到。 如果你仍然认为提出性要求，是贪心、自私、非女性的行为，你便不能迈开第一步，要想一想，你不提出要求，伴侣怎会知道你需要什么?照老方式做，得到乐趣的只有他。