Chapter 13 Lesson 2 Find the right one and marry again - which kind of love are you going to choose

Canadian sociologist John Lee put forward a research report on "love forms". He divided love forms into six types: love of lust, love of games, love of friendship, love of fanaticism, love of reality, and altruism. love of doctrine. (1) "Sensual love" is based on "idealized external beauty and the desire to possess the other party".What a wonderful thing to love and be loved by a handsome prince charming! Falling in love together, thinking that "with his love, it's like having the whole world". (2) "Love of games", "regarding gaining the favor of the opposite sex as an interesting and challenging game, the parties will avoid emotional investment and like to change partners".In the eyes of men, they are probably the so-called "watery" type of people. "I was just teasing him, who will play with him for real?" This type of love is like a moving stage drama, which may be staged around our lives anytime and anywhere, and often makes the fake come true, causing tragedy.

(3) "Love of friendship" refers to "the natural habit of getting along with each other for a long time and unconsciously forming each other like brothers and sisters or good friends".The childhood sweethearts who grew up together, or the classmates who entered the university together, or the colleagues who have been with each other for many years, starting from the sincere friendship between men and women, the mutual understanding deepens over time, and gradually has the same values ​​​​and vision for the future.This form of love is the most common, even the most ordinary, and the marriages formed by it are the strongest.

(4) "Crazy love" refers to the so-called "tear-jerking" love that we often see in movies or novels. I want to be with the one I love.Li Yuehan believes that this is "a kind of morbid emotion, the person's need for emotion reaches a compulsive level, and this kind of person often has a flawed personality and an unhappy childhood", so he subconsciously hopes to obtain fiery love as compensation. (5) "Love of Reality", "People tend to choose objects that can bring them rewards and reduce costs." "Reducing costs" is not "reducing truth".The two parties develop their relationship on the basis of mutual benefit, instead of wasting true feelings, and have the same love goal, which is also a more durable love relationship.

(6) "Altruistic love", usually with religious overtones, "regards love as a kind of sacrifice and dedication, and if a third party intervenes, it often retreats generously".This kind of love requires suffering. Although people with "altruistic" sentiments often take pleasure in "I suffer for him", people's patience is not unlimited. One day they suddenly realize that suffering is meaningless, and perhaps most of their youth has passed away. , At that time, is it "the belt is getting wider and I will never regret it", or is it crying bitterly and regretting the beginning?