Chapter 9 Lesson 1 - How to Understand a Man

Men are half of human beings, understanding them and interacting with them is an important part of women's life.Because men's psychological characteristics are different from women's, you can't understand men in the way you understand your female companions, but you should understand them in the way you understand men. First of all, we must look at the problem comprehensively.To understand men, you can't be partial.In men, the advantages and disadvantages are often mixed with each other and integrated into one body.If you can't take a comprehensive look at him and grasp his characteristics from a general direction, you may be biased.

Second, look at the problem dynamically.To understand men, we must proceed from a dynamic perspective, and we cannot look at them statically.Man is a living organism, and his thought, character, and experience are developing and changing every moment. We must recognize his dominant direction, the mainstream of his thoughts, and treat his flaws with a tolerant attitude. Small shortcomings, can not ignore its commendable. Starting from the above two principles, understanding male psychology can be more accurate and objective.Specifically, there are several ways to understand male psychology:

1 conversation method Getting to know men directly through conversation is the most important way.It should be noted that there should not be any inappropriate atmosphere and environment during the conversation, and a natural, pleasant, and relaxed conversation atmosphere should be created.You don't have to blindly ask any key questions, you can talk about irrelevant topics as you like.In the conversation, through the views expressed by the man on various issues and the attitudes he adopts, to grasp his psychology.Be good at distinguishing which of the other party's words is true and can reflect their personality, and which is nonsense and meaningless language.Conversation is an art. To master the skill of conversation, you also need to carefully figure out and experience it in your life.

2 aggressive method This cannot be considered as an independent method in itself, but because of its wide application, it will be discussed separately.This method is very effective for understanding male psychology.The secret of the radical method lies in the rebellious psychology it uses.The so-called rebellious psychology refers to the fact that under certain conditions, the words and deeds of some people are contrary to the subjective wishes of the parties involved, and produce a reverse reaction that is contrary to the normal nature.This phenomenon is common in daily life.For example, a certain literary and artistic work is not very noticeable, but it will arouse people's great interest once it is commented on; the more forbidden something is, the more people want it; Disdainful, but enamored of those who neglected themselves.This is the role of reverse psychology.The psychological basis of rebellious psychology is people's curiosity and thirst for knowledge.Curiosity is the psychological motivation of seeking knowledge. When something is prohibited, it is most likely to arouse people's curiosity and desire for knowledge, especially when it is only prohibited without any explanation, it is more likely to arouse people's curiosity. All kinds of suspicions, guesses, speculations, and even investigations.Using this phenomenon to understand men often works.To give a simple example, if you say in front of a certain man that he can’t do something, that he’s a little disappointed about it, etc., he will immediately try to do it and let you know how much you love him. Estimated wrong.Through this reaction, you can observe the uniqueness of his psychological characteristics and personality.

However, rebellious psychology is an unhealthy and abnormal mentality that violates the objective after all.When using this method, we must pay attention to propriety and start from good intentions, otherwise it will be dangerous. 3 observation method It is also a good way to understand men through observation. Observation refers to investigating a man's various performances, receiving people and things in a specific environment, and obtaining a comprehensive impression, and then analyzing and processing by himself. , and finally grasp its essential characteristics.This method is the easiest method to implement.Because it does not require the observer to personally contact the object of observation, nor does it need to be intentionally arranged or prepared in advance. It only needs to participate in activities with it frequently and be able to see its performance on various occasions.The observation method is divided into horizontal observation and longitudinal observation.The former means to observe men’s attitudes, methods, styles, strengths, weaknesses, etc. when interacting with various people and encountering various things; the latter means to observe for a period of time, such as 1 month, 2 months, Half a year, 1 year, etc.Because it is difficult to fully understand a person through only one or two observations, and it takes a period of time to grasp the object from a dynamic aspect before forming a complete impression.

4 survey method The above three methods are obtained only when the person concerned has direct contact with the man he wants to know.This is not necessarily the case with investigative law.It obtains materials from the responses of the persons to be understood by talking with their friends, family members, colleagues, superiors and subordinates, etc.The materials obtained in this way are only second-hand materials, and are not as reliable as the materials obtained by the first three methods. Generally speaking, the wider the range of people around the person you are in contact with, the more The more mature your personality is, the more correct impression you will get.But the best way to really get to know a person is to deal with him personally.This is the most efficient way.

Those are four ways to understand the male psyche.In life, it is impossible to use a certain kind independently.People often use several methods alternately to understand and examine a person.