Chapter 16 Case4. Greed for the body of the old love

Sexual desire cannot be separated from old love, it is a kind of psychological dependence, It is not necessarily just a physiological phenomenon, but it has absolutely nothing to do with love.Women can be rascals sometimes, Thinking that being unable to forget means that you still love each other very much is actually just inertia, even inertia. Case4. Greed for the body of the old love CoCo. 26.Ad writing. My first love thinks I'm frigid Now that I think about it, it may be that I have a problem with my sexual psychology, so I drove away my two boyfriends. I met my first love in college when I was 20 years old. He had many girlfriends before me and had a lot of experience in sex.I have always been a bit concerned about this, thinking that he is a flamboyant and erotic man, but everyone's first love is a bit blind and reckless, and walks past it at a loss.At that time, I couldn't help myself at all, knowing that he would get tired of me sooner or later, I still wanted to keep him and give me everything.However, when he had a relationship with me, he began to change.The woman who gets it is no longer popular, is that right?I can't figure it out.

In the end, he said that I was frigid, like a little girl compared to other women, and couldn't bring up his passion, so he proposed to break up.In fact, I know that he has already taken a fancy to another girl.Being criticized by a man like this, why doesn't it make people feel negative and inferior?What's more, I'm a traditional girl, where can I find the erotic teasing skills to satisfy a lustful man? For him, for my incomplete self, I cried for 360 days, and when my heart began to calm down, I had already spent my youth and came out to work. At that time, I still put love first, and I only felt that sex was like a responsibility, and it was also a condition for admission to love.Since you want a boyfriend, you have to pay, because all men need sex, and this is the price.I've always thought this way, it's very earthy, isn't it!

The female friends around me are all stronger than me. Some of them control several men at the same time, making them want to die with their bodies, and they can't escape;But I am like a country girl who has never seen the world, without the kind of sex appeal they say. Although my education and vision are not superficial, I am just like a bumpkin. On the morning of the first spring rain last year, when I transferred to my second job for a month, I met another boy.He influenced my attitude towards sex and planted my broken body and mind. The desire instinct is turned on He is one of my clients, young, handsome, westernized, the type that looks like any girl would be tempted to fantasize, especially the way he intentionally doesn't look directly at you, but let you know that he is paying attention to you, me and others Like his female colleagues, they were all fascinated by him.At that time, I thought that there was no chance to have anything to do with him, because my conditions were not strong.I can only love him secretly.But I didn't expect him to pursue me, and within two days I was completely captured.

I thought that men like girls who are pure in sex, so I confessed to him at the beginning that my ex-boyfriend thought I was frigid and abandoned me.Unexpectedly, he didn't mind me, but felt that I should be more open, so he tried to tease me sexually, saying that he would help me open myself, open up my desire and sexual instinct. I can't even dream of meeting a man who helps me like this.I also hope to open myself, because I love him very much, and I hope to develop further with him, and I don't want old thoughts and shadows to affect my relationship with him. Every time we met, he used excuses to sleep with me, saying that he wanted to open my heart. I was "educated" by him in this way, and I opened myself up, and began to slowly enjoy the fun of sex.At the beginning, I didn't react too much to his teasing, but I didn't resist. Later, after many intimate contacts, my body began to change.It used to be that he had a great sexual desire for me, and wanted me once he saw me alone.Then it was me who wanted him to kiss me and caress my body as soon as I saw him.The feeling of being caressed is very enjoyable.I miss the way he hugs me and caresses my body.We made love a lot and slept together in our arms for many nights.Because of this, I love him so much that I look forward to seeing him every day, and I gradually become possessive of him. I can't stand his business trips and work, and I can't stand the loneliness without him hugging me in the middle of the night.

blindly attached to his body Also because of this, I started to get emotional, intensive phone calls and text messages, like crazy to know where he is and when we can meet.In fact, there have always been problems between me and him. We couldn't communicate well. I even suspected that he only cared about my body at the beginning, rather than loving me. When we met, we made love, and after the heat passed, we no longer had the energy and need to chat.I am attached to his body, as long as he holds me, I don't have to think about anything. I admit that I have been evading, and we have a lot of incongruities when we get along.He puts work first, he has no intention of marrying me, and he likes to chat online, so my sense of security has dropped to zero.Even if he is around, I am very nervous about his phone calls, afraid that he is having an affair, afraid that he will leave.

I also secretly checked his call records and found some unfamiliar female names and intimate messages. I went crazy and questioned him. Unable to take care of me, I put too much pressure on him. I don’t understand, I love him, I’m not wrong, just keep forcing him to implement our relationship, in the end he couldn’t stand it, he found me annoying, so he proposed to separate, but I always refused to accept it, and called him to bother him, in the end he also Don't answer my phone.I understand that most of the problems between me and him are caused by me, but I just can’t let him go, I don’t want to lose him, I always ask to meet, but when I meet, I have hope, and I’m bothering him to control him, and the result keeps repeating Our entanglement.

Greed for his tenderness after breaking up He said the more I wanted to see him, the less he wanted to see me. I don't know why he has this idea, I always feel that he is deliberately against me, so I always feel that he still loves me.Maybe I'm just deceiving myself, but when I want to give up, I always let him know some of my unhappy things, I hope he cares, and then I have hope. Am I stupid!I've been entangled with him for several months, and finally we broke up completely. Now we have been separated for 3 months, but I am not used to the life without him, and I still don’t want to accept it. I really want to know everything about him, and I really want him to come back. More importantly, I still think about the relationship with him in terms of sex. Tenderness.

In short, everything is over. Last month, he admitted to me that he had been with another woman for more than half a year.God, he still abandoned me, like my first love, is this my destiny?I have been with him for more than a year, how can we divide when we say we are divided, and change when we say we are going to change? I was in pain, but I was still very attached to the sexual relationship with him. I even thought about calling him to come out and just have sex and not ask for anything else. Men will not resist the sexual invitation sent to their door.Am I mean? Although he is no longer there, my body wants sex unconsciously.At night, I will think of the feeling when two people were tender together, and I miss it very much.I don't know how to deal with this physiological desire.

Su Hei Analysis: In fact, it was CoCo herself who was against her, not her boyfriend. She is a traditional woman with low self-esteem, passiveness, conservativeness, low self-identity, and denial of herself. Love only sees keeping the relationship, and does not pay attention to the improvement of feelings. Therefore, her having sex is only the admission condition for love, and it is what men need. Once the morality of values ​​and repression is developed, she will fall into a contradictory state where she cannot adapt physically and mentally. Physiologically, she pursues the joy of sex and indulges desires, but psychologically, the concept of traditional moral relationship between men and women has not caught up with the evolution. So nervous, anxious, suspicious, insecure, and finally hysterical, oppressing myself and my lover.Cracks are unstoppable.

It's because she hasn't equipped her heart yet, how can she have the ability to enjoy sex and love calmly?I can only live in anxiety, suffering myself and others. She refused to face that her boyfriend couldn't love her the way she wanted, and she refused to believe that it was she who didn't know how to love, not him.Wishful thinking that he still loves her, but can't see that he has had enough pressure.Obsessed women are the most uncomfortable, not necessarily because of their way of getting along, but because of their pedantic and closed hearts. CoCo does not want to be independent, very dependent, possessive, does not allow her boyfriend to leave her for half a step, even if he breaks up and does not let him see her, always wants to occupy his time and space, this is the most violent state of mind of a lover: do not know how to get along with themselves, are afraid Seeking comfort from the outside, she would rather risk the freedom of others to accompany her to suffer, than bear her own life alone, but put on the clothes of a "victim" to pity herself.

A lover will never belong to oneself, and to abuse the other party is also against oneself. If it is not good, it will break up at once, and use the existence of others to satisfy the desire to oppose oneself. Sexual desire cannot be separated from the old love. It is a kind of psychological dependence, and it is not necessarily a physiological phenomenon, but it has absolutely nothing to do with love.Women are sometimes rascals, thinking that being unable to forget means that they still love each other very much. In fact, it is just inertia, or even inertia, because she does not want to be alone, and wants others to bear the life that she does not want to grow up. Many people are still attached to physical memory after breaking up, because physical memory records a lot of sensory and emotional information, which is deeper than intellectual memory. An important source of sexual interest, but cannot continue to improve on its own, only want to rely on the other party's sexual energy, desire to combine with his spiritual desire, and use sex to escape the reality of facing emotional obstacles. In addition to reflecting her blind spots of being independent and weak in love, this also reflects one thing: Although their relationship is beautiful and unforgettable physically, they can’t get along in reality, and they can’t talk about love, so separation is inevitable. In addition, because she had suppressed her sexual needs and failed to communicate well with her lover in terms of sexual expression, this was also the reason for her failure in her first relationship, so she did not want to repeat the same mistakes the second time.With the second boyfriend, she has matured in terms of sexual performance, so she is even more reluctant to be satirized by failure after success, and is unwilling.I would rather have a one-night stand with my old boyfriend than to make myself stronger. As a result, I will only indulge the weak mentality of the little woman, and deny myself by obsessing over the old love and lusting for physical pleasure. CoCo should learn from this relationship, learn self-love, transform desire energy into a positive and independent force, face her own problems, and stop indulging in sadism and wasting youth.Love, not so.