Chapter 13 Case1. Why are you always exploited by men?

This is a negative complex of self-identity that many people have evolved from inferiority complex, Turning slavishness into a guise of fraternity, for failing to stand out, Only put on a sacred halo for yourself, to please everyone, Enjoy the pleasure of suffering, and if you can't bear it, you will blame others. Case1. Why are you always exploited by men? Anson. 25.Personnel manager. it's my life that's not good enough I may have owed many people in my previous life, so I have to pay for many people in vain in this life. Living like this is very tiring. I once loved a man who treated me as a prostitute. He said: "Even if you are willing to be the mud under my feet and allow me to have three wives and four concubines, I will not marry you because you are not worth it." Said I was his star in the sky!

I was sexually harassed by a professor, he called me into his room and touched my ass, and said that if I could spend the night with him, he would promise me a scholarship. I didn’t dare to resist and slept with him, and later told the best Girlfriend, she said: "It deserves it!" and broke up with me. Afterwards, I found out that she had been secretly in love with the professor, but I fell in love with him first. I used to think that if I worked hard and climbed up, I would always find a good future and make my mother face.After graduation, I immediately found a good job, thinking that she would be satisfied, but she said coldly: "It's not like finding a rich husband, wouldn't it be embarrassing to have a salary of several thousand dollars?"

I used to think that by treating people with sincerity, dealing well with colleagues, pleasing them, and making everyone happy, I would be able to work smoothly and be loved by others, but my heart is complicated, and I cannot satisfy everyone. Now the relationship with my colleagues is not very good. I always feel that I am unlucky, not popular, and no matter how hard I try, I still can't get the rewards I deserve.I can only believe in fate, my life is not good enough, alas. All I meet are guys who take advantage of me I have experienced three relationships. In fact, to be more correct, it should be counted as two relationships and one relationship. The latter is the one between me and the professor.I maintained a physical relationship with him for half a year, because I didn't know how to get rid of him. I was too cowardly by nature. Although he was not a very annoying man, he took my body for nothing.I just don't understand why every time he asks me something, I don't know how to resist and say no.Lala pushed and pushed home with him for the night.He treats me well, but I don't like him.

The first relationship happened in high school, and ended up being abused like a prostitute. The second relationship fell in love with a male classmate from the same department when he first entered college.He is an extraordinary young man, the type that every girl likes.After talking with him for two months, we had a relationship.When I thought I was bathing in a happy paradise, suddenly one day he asked me to borrow money, saying that I needed it urgently, and something happened at home.Without thinking about it, I gave him all my savings and the thousands of dollars I borrowed from other friends. Afterwards, I found out that he used my money to chase after a senior who was a year older than him and had a good family background.I was used, and a month later, he told me to break up, and that woman was already in his pocket.As for the money, he didn't mention a word, and I didn't have the guts to ask him to pay it back, so we parted ways.

Why do I keep running into guys who take advantage of me?Why does true love never come? After breaking up with him, I was hurt like hell and had no friends to talk to, and then there was the professor's seduction.I foolishly fucked with him for half a year.Those days really passed like mud. Is it okay to give everything for online dating? Until the first month after finding a job, I got acquainted with A on the Internet. I got serious with A, a mature man 6 years older than me.We have been acquainted for half a year, and we have the feeling of talking freely and seeing each other late, and he is the same, because we have been used to talking for a long time every night for half a year, and he gave me a lot of encouragement, so I regard him as a spiritual comfort.I told him about my past and initially expected him to give up on me, but I didn't want to lie to him.Unexpectedly, he also comforted me and encouraged me to work hard to strive for my future happiness. I feel that he is an angel sent by God to comfort me after finally having mercy on me.I strongly feel his concern for me. We look forward to seeing each other online every day, and we don't want to go offline when we talk late into the night.I have been suppressing my heart that I have fallen in love with him, and I feel that he may also secretly love me, but I dare not say it.

Later, he had to leave for a month on business, during which he was unable to chat online. During those two months, I found that I had fallen in love with him deeply, and couldn't extricate myself.Without him, I live like a dead person, listless, miss him very much, and wait for him to appear on the Internet every day, even though I know he can't access the Internet at all.But in fact, I don't know anything about his background. I only know that he is a passionate man. It seems that he has had many love histories, all of which ended in damage.Maybe at that time I cared for him because of sympathy, always felt that he needed a lot of love, and I really wanted to give my love to him.Later, his concern for me became the reason why I couldn't extricate myself from loving him.

After he came back, he appeared on the Internet. I couldn't help expressing the pain of missing him, but he didn't respond much, and I felt very uncomfortable.I'm confessing, doesn't he like me?He only talked about work and didn't ask me much about my situation.Three days later, I couldn't help but show my love to him, and wanted him to give me an answer.He just said he couldn't love me because he was hurt too much.I felt stupid and I said I just wanted to give him my love and make him happy and that was enough. I did a lot of things for him, sent him gifts, sent him text messages to encourage him, asked for leave to meet him and wandered around his company, but failed, and went home and cried all night.I just want to give everything for him without asking for anything in return, but he doesn't appreciate it.I emailed him later telling him what I had done, asking if he knew the second girl so he didn't want to be with me.He said back to me: "Please don't pester me so childishly? I never thought of loving you. I just treat you out of caring. Your courtship makes me feel a lot of pressure. The more you want me to love you, I love you." The more I can't love you, do you understand?"

I said "I just want to love you, isn't that wrong too? Didn't you always encourage me to strive for my own happiness?" Finally he said "You're so blind and I'm tired." That was his last email up.Since then he no longer appears on the network, and his offline status is always displayed in my msn list.Not reconciled, I sent him a text message, and he didn't reply to me anymore.In this way, I don't know if the online dating has started for half a year without knowing why.Am I broken in love? I don't understand, why does God let me know him but not let me love him?Is it because I did wrong things in my previous life that I will be punished in this life, and am I to suffer in love?I blindly pay for others, never ask for anything, and dare not ask for anything.I just want people to be happy, not hate me, accept me.I don't want to offend anyone, I don't want to get in trouble.I have tried my best to be patient and dedicated, just not to offend anyone.Why still can't get a reasonable return, can't get love?How long will it take to get results?

Su Hei Analysis: There is a kind of person in the world who likes to serve others, to pay for others, to dedicate diligently, without asking for anything in return.On the surface, they serve the people like angels, sacrificing themselves for others, and putting halos on their heads.In theory, these people should be loving and comfortable, but the reality is quite the opposite. Their behavior is not necessarily acceptable, and even makes people feel tired, annoying and stressful. Anson is such a person. On the surface, she wants to please everyone, and with a motherly and sacrificial nature, she hopes to bring warmth to the whole world and pour out all her love.But in fact, she is very likely to have a very complicated psychological motive behind her loving mother subconsciously: she wants to become a saint in the world.

Anson's problem is that she is too deliberate to please others, suppresses herself, and even makes herself a victim. She consciously convinces herself that as long as everyone is happy, she will be happy or a successful person, thinking that this is the result of love and dedication. virtue.But she didn't know that it wasn't actually love, but it might just be pleasing to her own hidden greed. It was her ego that was inflating, hoping to establish in the minds of others an undeniable holiness like Guanyin Bodhisattva, so that people would always be in front of her. Sinners comfort their childishness with beings who are not as good as themselves, and they cannot bear the responsibility of protecting and loving themselves.In fact, she is just a child who has not grown up, but wants to be a mother. Is she ignorant or reckless?

This is a sage complex, humble oneself, but also for the final strength, to suppress the whole world.Why do you want to do this?This is the negative self-identity knot that many people have evolved from inferiority complex. They turn slavishness into fraternity under the guise of fraternity. Come and blame others.In short, the fault is never your own, it's just that God is unfair to yourself. Humans are very strange animals. When we work very hard to give a lot of effort and love to someone, we often hope to get the other person's gratitude and recognition of our efforts, and affirm that our dedication is more than the so-called love.Love is always inattentive.Like many mothers, they want their husbands and children to affirm the greatness of their sacrifices for them, instead of focusing on the real needs of each other, so they often become wishful thinking, thankless, and their energy is not right. The self-masochistic mentality of cyclical masochism continues to enjoy the sense of disaster exclusive to saints in the suffering fate. This is a self-inflicted evil, not necessarily a manifestation of the other party's ungratefulness and lack of conscience, and it has nothing to do with God's will, fate and previous lives.If you fail to meet your ideal lover and the return of love emotionally, it is a matter of fate and has nothing to do with punishment. Anson looks at relationships with a heavy moral burden, but he can't see that he doesn't have the big heart and the energy of love to satisfy everyone, let alone satisfy the more greedy self.All she tried to do was to please her vanity of wanting to become a saint.God didn't punish her, because she was just self-obsessed, and she couldn't blame the sky.If you fail to open your heart, you only close your mind and think about negative things, and feel that you are being punished. In this way, love will not appear, and the unfortunate fate created by self-abuse will only last for a lifetime. We cannot control when love will appear, but you can choose and control how to love and whom to love.