Chapter 6 Case6. I am not frigid, but disappointed in him

Little Y. 31.teacher He wants to have sex after arguing with me I always thought that the problem between my husband and I was personality disagreement, but I later found out that the problem was sexual. We were college classmates before we got married, and we were each other's first love. At that time, our relationship was very pure.I got married and started a family as a matter of course for many women.But after marriage, he changed. He used to have a bad temper, but now he has become more domineering.Otherwise, just ignore them, go home very late, and keep silent, like a stranger living in a sojourn.The quiet talk and caring when you are in love have nothing.I asked him to spend more time with me and talk to me, but he disliked me, saying that I was not instigating before marriage, and then continued to read newspapers and watch TV in silence.

I feel bad.He is my husband, can't we communicate and care more?I work hard, and I want him to comfort me.How much he wanted to be like the couples he saw on TV, kissing and hugging every time he got home, but he didn't have any interest in this aspect.Sometimes I sit in an empty room and think, he would kiss me and hug me back then, but after marriage he is no longer enthusiastic. Is marriage really the tomb of love? You could say he wasn't enthusiastic enough and not accurate enough.Once back in the bedroom at night, he wanted to fuck me like a freshly charged beast.Almost every night he needs it.Sometimes we even just quarreled, and when I put on my pajamas and went to bed angrily, and was about to sleep with my back on my back, he would forget everything just now like amnesia, and rush over to take off my clothes.I pushed him away when I was still angry, and then he became angry. I remember one time he said angrily: "Hurry up! Don't make it too late again!"

I felt very angry and wronged, and I was unwilling to have sex with him at all. How could he be so inhuman?I'm human too, I'm not a sex machine, he'll wait for me to calm down if he wants to do it, how can he ignore my feelings?How could he have only sexual desire but no warmth?I cried, but he didn't show affection, only venting. Regret not having sex before marriage I regret not having lived with him before marriage, not knowing that his sexual desires can be separated from feelings.He has very strong demands on sex, especially when he comes back in the middle of the night and wants to have sex with me without asking a word. Sometimes he wakes me up when he suddenly has a high sex drive and wants to have sex with me when he sleeps late at night.When I said that I had to go to bed and have morning class tomorrow morning, he was not excited. I was very disgusted by this. This is not like a human being, like an animal.

My relationship with him was even worse because I was not sexually satisfied.After two days of not having sex, he would have a cold war with me and fight against me. He also deliberately refused to eat after I cooked a good meal and made instant noodles by himself.I got angry at the dining table and refused to eat it, but he turned a blind eye and continued to cook the noodles. He brought the pot to the TV and ate it as if I was transparent.Situations like this happen almost every week. Every night when I change into my pajamas, I feel very uncomfortable, afraid that he will force me to have sex later, and I have to find a way to deal with it. Should I just let him do it in order not to be violently treated?

In short, the days of forced sex and suffering like this have been maintained for several years. I have completely lost my desire and sweetness for sex.The grievance that he disregarded my feelings and only cared about my physical needs has been deeply rooted in my heart since then, and this feeling has become more and more intense in the future, almost to the point where he would have a strong resentment when he touched my skin.What fun is left in the relationship between husband and wife! I'm not frigid, just disappointed in his attitude.Do I need to comfort my husband naked in exchange for a happy marriage?

Shouldn't there be a higher level of spiritual communication between husband and wife? As soon as he was in the ring, he forced sex Maybe I really chose the wrong husband.Later, I began to change. I used to rely too much on him, and my life was completely centered on him. I began to learn to find my own joy in life. I think I should also have my own space and world.Life is like a cage, and I long to fly out. He thinks that it's okay for men to mess around outside, but women should stay at home obediently. Even if I go out to play with female colleagues, he strongly opposes it.Once I came home after 7 o'clock in the evening, and he was fierce to me as soon as I entered the door. I was so angry that I threw two cartons of milk at him, which broke a glass door, and he beat me up.I had only two thoughts at the time, one was to kill him and the other was to commit suicide.

That was the first time I realized that I hated him more than I loved him, and I could no longer face this man. There is always an urge to kill him in my heart. I have had this urge many times before, and I am very afraid.At that time, I made up my mind to divorce him. Our hostility had turned into domestic violence, and I had to fight back.However, I was pregnant with a child. For the sake of the child, after persuading my relatives and friends, I gave up the idea of ​​divorce. Later, the child was born, and I didn’t resume menstruation until I was one year old. I went to the hospital for contraception, and he came to make out with me that night. I pushed him away and said that the doctor told me that I couldn’t do the upper ring for a week. He listened very much. Angry, he scolded me for deliberately finding an excuse to reject him.For the next few days he stayed out at night again.Then I suffered from premature ovarian failure. I was only 30 years old, and my body plummeted. The first thing that affected my sex life was that I was clean for only a few days a month. In addition, my body was so weak and I didn’t like sex. The more dissatisfied.

early menopause infertility At this time, I was judged to be suffering from depression, and many times I really wanted to die. I started looking for comfort online, fell in love with a boy, he and I were not in the same city, we just chatted online or called, I was extremely depressed at that time, chatting with him was my only pleasure.This feeling gave me the courage to live and overcome the disease.I began to actively go to the hospital for treatment, and I became more disgusted with my husband. I filed for divorce again, but we couldn't get over the custody dispute.After more than a month, I finally decided to give up the children and the house, and agreed to a divorce with him.At this time, the boy I love told me that I was divorced and he wanted to marry me.In fact, he has been waiting for me.Unfortunately, the doctor recently confirmed that I am infertile, and I entered menopause 20 years earlier than normal women!

I used to think that I could have another child of my own after the divorce, but now I am desperate.The poor boy who has been waiting for me to get married was also killed by me.Divorced without a child, and I can't have another child, how can I ask that boy to wait for me!It used to be a choice between the child and the boy, and now it was all about to be lost. Now we are like a stranger couple.I have a very strong idea, leave here, let go of everything, go to a far away place where there are no people, close your eyes forever, and everything will be free... Su Hei Analysis: I have been receiving many letters from male and female readers, all of whom have many opinions on sex life. Like Xiao Y, women are forced to have sex without love but maintain a husband and wife relationship. The stagnation and intractability eventually lead to gynecological diseases such as uterine tumors, premature ovarian failure, and early pregnancy. Menstrual women are becoming more and more common, and the age of onset has been decreasing, becoming a high-risk killer of modern housewives.

Sexual incongruity is a major problem in marital disorders. For example, Xiao Y’s husband has a strong sexual desire and cannot balance the conflict between emotions and desires. He also lacks the concept of respecting his wife in his mind. Marrying a wife is to provide free sexual services for oneself at any time, which is not necessary. His macho attitude is not worth covering. Sex is an important threshold to improve the harmonious relationship between husband and wife. Sex is the strongest and most vital and loving energy pool for people. If two people exchange sexual energy from the heart, they can boost their spirits and live a more energetic and motivated life.This is the powerful influence sex can have on your marriage and love life.

But the opposite is just as strong.If either party makes love to a partner involuntarily, its sexual energy will only be exhausted, suppressed, or even destroyed. Little Y's sex was not rewarded positively, and she was wronged and hurt psychologically, becoming helpless and helpless, and unable to resist. As a result, she became depressed and became sick, or accelerated the deterioration of hidden diseases. If sex is not a positive flow of energy, it will transform into negative emotions that are self-sufficient, eating away at will, and eventually lose the strength and motivation to change yourself and find a way to save yourself. Xiao Y was forced to search for comfort on the Internet, and finally found a substitute for love, which was supposed to be an outlet for a bad marriage, but she was obsessed with fertility issues, self-denial, thinking that the infertile self had become worthless, and at the same time denied herself again sexual ability.She misunderstood the inevitable moral responsibility of sex and reproduction, and she also treated her sexual organs as sexual tools and reproductive tools in disguise like her husband. Can't a woman without sex or fertility be able to have a happy marriage?Are you sure that infertility will affect her relationship with her boyfriend who is waiting to marry her?In the end, today you are determined to leave a marriage with sex and no love. Is it to save your self-esteem and the chance to fall in love, or is it just to invest in another so-called happy marriage that is busy with reproductive responsibilities and sexual relationships? For all self-help decisions, the main premise must be to let yourself stand up again, be independent, and regroup your positive power, so that you have the power to build new relationships and new love.