Chapter 5 Case5. Marrying a smelly man for the happiness of mother

Jane. 33.Insurance. unethical transactional marriage I am an unhappy married woman. I have been married for 5 years, from the beginning to now, it has been a nightmare.My husband’s attitude towards me has remained the same for thousands of years: poor, impatient, never respecting my privacy, can you imagine?He doesn't allow the toilet to be locked because he likes to come and go at any time because he is the master of the house. Maybe you will wonder why I still want to marry this kind of man?It's complicated.He used to be my father's business partner, of course he was much older than me, in his fifties, and he had two daughters.The reason he wants me is the same as my father's: selfishness.They have a business relationship that takes advantage of each other, and the word is profit. This is their man's world. I don't want to understand, but I am innocently involved in the vortex of eternal doom.

Once I went to my father's company to pick up something, and when he saw me, he immediately proposed marriage to my father.At that time, he had just divorced, and he wanted to find a young wife to bear children for him, but he probably couldn't find the right person after searching for a long time.So, my dad talked to me that night and said that if I married that old man, he would ask my mother to divorce him. Sacrifice yourself to fulfill your mother My mother really wanted to leave him, married him and suffered 30 years of torture and grievances. As a result, 7 years ago, she secretly had a close relationship with another man, who seemed to be her first love. When the incident was exposed, my father almost killed my mother.He would never let them be together, only if his mother was not allowed to divorce, he also threatened to harm the man.

Of course, if there are greater benefits, he doesn't care. For example, the old man and his agreement now, I think he must get a lot of benefits. I support my mother very much. Since I was a child, she loved me the most. Our two mothers and daughters are like sisters who depend on each other. I really want my mother to be happy, but I never thought that I would exchange my life's happiness for it.Dad is indeed a very smart and utilitarian man. In my eyes, he is just a stinky man. He doesn't feel like a relative at all. In my memory, he didn't even hug me.In order to fulfill my mother, I thought about it for a month, and secretly made an immoral agreement with my father, agreeing to marry the old man and have children for him, in exchange for my mother's freedom immediately.

In this way, my mother successfully divorced, and now she is very happy with her lover.Of course, she didn't know the blood and tears I paid for her behind the scenes. I know that my mother is happy and happy.However, the old man turned into my husband and made me miserable on the first night, but he ignored my pain and just stuffed the baby-making liquid into the machine.I feel wronged and uncomfortable.He was going to have sex with me several times a day at first, not so much sex, which is more accurate than copulation.He is not tender and considerate at all, even on the days when I come to menstruate, he will do it, obviously not for the purpose of procreation, but just to vent his sexual desire.I hate him.

Indisputable gave birth to a baby girl He was also a flamboyant man, and a year later I bore him a daughter, and he had a steady record of affairs.He said he wanted a son, but I didn't live up to it, so don't blame him for going out. I questioned him: "Then why did you marry me? Why don't you just find a prostitute, and it won't be too late to marry her after seeing who gives birth to a boy." He said: "Who doesn't understand this, I don't want those stinky boys born by stinky bitches, who are not clean, and it's okay to have a good time occasionally. You bitch doesn't know happiness, what do you want now that you are famous and famous! He Oh shit."

He is a lowly guy, and my father blamed me for not being up to date when he found out that he treated me poorly: "You are so worthless, do you know how much I will repay you if you have a baby boy? Stupid!" return?Their trading is really like betting on football and horses, depending on the result of the game to set the payout.I was used and toyed with by these two big devils like a cargo, what did I get in the end?Can't wait to kill them both.I couldn't help getting angry at him, and said to him in a tone I had never used before: "You beast is not qualified to be my father, and I want to sever ties with you. From then on, you will never think of me!"

I have never been back to my hometown since then. Now that I am in my thirties, I no longer want to be at the mercy of these men.But thinking about her daughter's young age, she couldn't bear to get married, even though her father didn't look like a human being at all!But in the eyes of children, everything is beautiful, and they don't know how to score black and white.How could she know that Dad didn't come home anymore and was having a good time outside?I often ask: "Mom, where is Dad? When will you come back to play with me?" When I think of my daughter having such a father, I feel very sorry for her.I want her to know that my dad and I love her very much too and want her to be happy.

I really want freedom and dignity, I want to get back the lost happiness and love.However, I should also think about my daughter, should I wait until she grows up?That man accidentally forced me to have sex when he came home, and even tried to take off my clothes in front of his daughter in the living room.I wanted to call the police, but I couldn't bear to do this kind of thing in front of my daughter.It's enough for her to bear at this age.What should I do? Su Hei Analysis: Many women still hold the traditional outdated morality: live for others, take responsibility for others, and contribute.This is Jane's problem: the false assumption of unnecessary responsibility, the false belief that sacrifice is a bad principle of virtue.The results of it?I can't even afford it myself, how can I have the ability to love my daughter and others when my collapsed self?

Women are heavy animals, and they think that the frivolous state of the world needs to be borne by them to have weight. It is easy and not easy to be a "great" woman. It is easy because women always have the ability to rely on self-repression to win the symbol of the saint, such as the chastity archway, such as crowning themselves with a sacred halo of self-sacrifice and selflessness; what is not easy is that they are wrong in the end. They set their own gender roles and negatively arrange the misfortune of a lifetime, but the reality is cruel, and they are used, forgotten and abandoned in the end.Ambivalence is another name for women, and perhaps for good reason.

Behind a great woman may actually be lack of self-confidence or cowardice. Subconsciously, she hopes to be needed and relied on, and if she sacrifices vigorously, it will be easier to be remembered by others, and she will become an immortal legend, and even the next generation will bear it together and continue the history.This is the unique way motherhood creates immortality, but it destroys more than it builds. Jane represents the typical subconsciousness of women who want to be immortal and strong, and therefore, women are extremely obsessed with maintaining the integrity of relationships and families.Even if they don't have the ability to bear the misfortune in their relationship, they still desperately want to maintain the status quo.Their reason is that they love deeply, or they have to bear their fate.Both are sins, like the typical characters of Greek tragedy, inherited by Chinese operas of the Yuan Dynasty, and they are developed in modern times.

Jane wants to maintain a family with both parents, but ignores the misfortune caused to the next generation by putting a man and a woman who do not love each other together to play the role of parents!What is a complete home?complete loveOr even, a complete woman?Formal integrity cannot make up for spiritual defects.Women should see through the so-called complete paradox! Many women cannot escape the influence of their mothers. Whether they resist or imitate, the result is the same: repeat the same mistakes, and if you do not advance, you will retreat.Modern women have an educational foundation, independent economy, and can enjoy the freedom of single nobles.But the ideological level has not caught up with the economic leap, wandering between morality and freedom, strong on the outside and fragile on the inside, independent, advanced in life and conservative in thinking, and lives harder and more complicated than the ordinary and ignorant women of the previous generation. Don't take the burden of the whole world anymore, take responsibility for your own independence and self-love first, and let the next generation understand that women have the right to seek the life they deserve, and they can leave men who are not good to them or not suitable for them.This is teaching by example, the glory of a mother. It must also start with self-awareness, reaffirming one's gender identity as an independent individual, not an appendage of a man or a family relationship.Women can be self-reliant and actively seek their own freedom and dignity. Sacrifice is no longer just another name for a woman, nor does she have to beg for love. Love as you please.Learn from the wrong choices in the past, understand the cost of the choice, and learn to take on the real responsibility of a woman: to improve self-reliance and plan for yourself.Don't be afraid to say no to men or other authorities, have the courage to leave, the positive side of rejection is rebuilding. Modern women have more social roles and responsibilities, and they must learn to manage their easily broken feelings and emotions.Women can rely on self-improvement and independence to make themselves happy and free, instead of relying on men to fulfill themselves. Behind a great woman may actually be lack of self-confidence or cowardice, Subconsciously hope to be needed and relied on, But if the sacrifice is more vigorous, it will be easier to be remembered and become an immortal legend.