Chapter 7 Chapter 7 The Efficacy of Skin-to-Skin Dating

This was a long time ago.I don’t know if you remember the scene where Ms. Hitomi Soga reunited with her husband Jenkins who was stranded in North Korea. The location was at the airport on the outskirts of Jakarta, the capital of Indonesia. Ms. Zengwo, who was anxiously waiting for her relatives to step off the gangway of the plane, rushed over and hugged her husband tightly before her husband's feet touched the ground, and kissed him passionately. The slightly plump Ms. Zeng Wo hugged her frail husband and kissed her.Perhaps it was too violent, and Jenkins involuntarily staggered back a few steps, but Ms. Zeng Wo's lips were tightly pressed against each other, as if the sky was falling and she never wanted to separate.

Facing the kiss of the century, some people were surprised, some were amazed, and some were exclaimed that it was not elegant... There were different opinions. I was surprised and admired when I witnessed Ms. Zeng Wo's kiss of the century. After going through a lot of hardships, we reunited after a year and nine months.The impulsiveness at that moment, the fierce kiss is reasonable, but it is unnatural to do nothing. In general, middle-aged and older men are not very open.Regarding Ms. Zeng Wo's performance, "inappropriate" and "unlike a Japanese woman", there are many people who clearly express dislike.

It can also be seen from this incident that "skin-to-skin dating" is something that the Japanese cannot do and are not used to. Even if it's a long-lost reunion with relatives and friends, they don't express their feelings directly in actions, at most they just nod their heads.Needless to say no hugs, not even a handshake. The idea of ​​"under the public eye, one's own, one's own, how decent it is' is still alive and well, and it is the best evidence that "skin-to-skin dating" is not accepted.Denying frank emotional confession is a bad habit left over from the samurai society.

"A samurai has no rice in his mouth, but he still has a toothpick in his mouth." The ethics of the male society that has ruled Japan for a long time regards "being willing to stay poor" as beauty. Long-term suppression of one's desires, emphasis on appearance, trying to be decent, and treating love and sex as shameful "black-box operations". So, on the surface, they tried their best to promote abstinence, but in fact, this kind of desire and desire increased sharply. As a result, they sneaked around secretly and made it into the current nondescript appearance.This duality has continued to this day, and may continue.

However, in their bones, women will not suffer like men for putting on airs.If you like it, you like it, if you want to meet, you want to meet, and you don't care about anything. In the final analysis, most of the so-called "feminization" of Japanese women is just an illusion forced by men. Regardless of the East and the West, women themselves are unrestrained.Ms. Zeng Wo's vivid performance is a true portrayal of a woman, and her charm is endless. There is nothing more important than being true to one's emotions, and I sincerely hope that the Platinum Generation will maintain this natural expression of emotion.

Having tasted all the ups and downs of life, overcoming all kinds of difficulties and dangers, the platinum generation who are now light, should express their feelings boldly and faithfully. In European and American societies, especially in countries such as France and Italy, it is only natural for men and women to love each other. Love, more important than work and food - in today's society after centuries of civil rights, love language and love kiss are accepted with great harmony. It has nothing to do with old age. In Europe and the United States, it is common for mature couples to walk hand in hand, embrace and kiss each other in harmony.

The elderly in Japan look older and lonely than those in Europe and America, precisely because they lack this kind of skin-to-skin contact. Pay attention to this tactile sense of hugging, and the platinum generation will definitely look young and cheerful. Of course, it's not easy to change year-round habits all at once.People who have never even experienced "blind date" need courage to "blind date and kiss" in public. When I return to Japan after traveling in Europe and America for a while, I often feel unaccustomed.Of course, it is not a political or economic national event, but an extremely ordinary trivial matter around you.

It's "ladies first"—try the "ladies first" approach first. For example, when taking an elevator or a car, women are always allowed to get on and off first.When going up the stairs, take a step forward and reach out for a hand.Another example is that when entering a restaurant, first help the lady take off her coat, then let the lady sit on the upper seat with the back to the inside facing outward, and sit outside by herself. Men in Europe and America, whether old or young, naturally follow the priority of women.After getting used to this kind of scene and then returning to China, the behavior of Japanese men is really too arrogant and cold.

Such "ladies first" is originally a European and American custom, and Japan does not have this kind of etiquette.So there is no need to follow.Many Japanese men think this way: "Do as the Romans do" is fine, but you can deal with it when you are abroad. Once you return to your country, you don't have to think about "ladies first". Similarly, Japanese women also think that they can enjoy "priority" when they are abroad, but as long as they return to their country, "ladies first" is over, so they voluntarily give up. In this way, both men and women are imprisoned by old concepts, and they are uncomfortable everywhere, and "ladies first" will not work.

For Japanese men who grew up in the customary etiquette that men are superior to women, women should take half a step back and follow behind men.Asking a man to take the initiative to reach out is a "shameful" behavior that is "unlike a man", and it is not advisable. It is also believed that, unlike Europe and the United States, Japan has its own unique customs and sensibilities. But it's only a matter of degree. "The spirit of shame is part of Japanese culture, which is why Japanese men are bred"—this is just a narrow theory of the island country Japan, and it will not work in the international community.

This kind of "indifference" between men and women may seem very masculine at first glance, but in fact, it just dilutes the skin touch between people and dilutes the courtesy and courtesy between people. To be honest, I also had trouble with "ladies first". Once upon a time, it should be a long time ago.I once had a relationship with a woman who came back from England. At first, I made a lot of fools because I didn't know European and American etiquette. Finally one day, she said to me bluntly: "You do always think about women first, but you think too much before you take action—is the woman older than me or younger? Is it a woman or a girl? However, the so-called etiquette, It’s not about consciously thinking about it and then putting it into action.” As soon as this remark came out, it really made sense. I was too consciously engaged in "ladies first".Facing the noble lady, he was still doing his best.But for "Not a Dame", I cut corners. I nodded slightly in agreement, and she spoke again. "In Europe and the United States, the education we have received since childhood is 'As long as a man sees a woman, he doesn't need to think about it, and women are the priority.' There is no need to consider the identity and status of the other party. It is a matter of "not thinking about it." "Don't worry" is very convincing, and I agree very much. No matter what the status of the lady is, whether it is a lady or a girl, it shouldn't be considered so much at all.When you meet a woman, you don't need to judge or think about it. Like "conditional reflex", this is the root of "ladies first". As soon as my concept changed, "ladies first" was no longer a troublesome thing for me, and it became natural and appropriate to do it. From this point, it can be seen that Japanese men do not do well in "ladies first", because they think too much about the identity and status of the woman, and are too rigid about social status.In fact, there is no need to be so "intentional" at all. If you meet a woman and do it, things will become easier. In short, it is an important revelation to be courteous to ladies "intentionally".This is the first step in "skin-to-skin contact". Get used to "ladies first", then try a handshake. Physical contact is by no means an ulterior motive.This is the best start to getting to know each other and understanding each other. At the EU summit meeting, the scenes of heads of state embracing and shaking hands can be seen everywhere. It can be seen that in Europe and the United States, men do not forget "skin-to-skin dating". Why is this? Because through mutual contact, a lot of information can be obtained - each other's bones, skin texture, body temperature, body odor... Physical contact, the flesh can obtain deeper feelings and perceptions that go beyond verbal expression. "Take one as ten", a physical touch is better than ten testimonials, In addition, the mental impact of physical contact cannot be ignored. It is not just the decline in physical strength that grows weaker with each passing year.Just like the result of "sickness arises from the heart" - the loneliness in the heart makes the spirit unstable, which will definitely have a bad impact on the body. What can save us from loneliness is "skin-to-skin contact". Just look at the elderly in love and you will see that everyone is healthy.Because of the tension in their hearts, the two held hands to support each other and kept in touch, stroking each other's backs, deepening the "skin-to-skin contact". The excitement and pleasure brought by physical contact stimulates the capillaries of the skin and makes the blood flow smoothly.The root of all illnesses is poor blood circulation.Smooth blood circulation is the foundation of health, so the skin is lubricated and radiant. In addition, many of the diseases suffered by the elderly are mental.A sense of security, trust, and love can make the body heal without treatment. In fact, there is nothing more pleasant and beneficial to the body than the "skin-to-skin contact" between men and women who trust each other. I once went to a nursing home for a survey and interview, and that nursing home actively encouraged those men and women who love each other to live together as much as possible. As a result, after living together, both of them were ruddy, full of vitality, and in good spirits. When asked why, there was no sexual activity, but before going to bed, they touched each other and slept holding hands. The peace of mind and gentleness of skin-to-skin contact can cure high blood pressure and diabetes.It is also said to cure low back pain. Touching the skin with hands - "stroking therapy" is the means of treatment. Platinum generation should actively promote "skin-to-skin" - because this is the simplest and most profound way of communication that does not require any language. So, how can we form this habit? This is the same as the "ladies first" principle. Get close to the other person, stretch out your hand "intentionally", wait for the other person to respond and extend your hand, then hold it tightly, that's all. Women rarely take the initiative to reach out, so men should take the initiative to create opportunities for contact. The same is true for me. At all kinds of gatherings - fan clubs, autograph sessions, as long as it is a party, I always pay attention to shaking hands with people. Sometimes, there are people who are too shy to respond to my handshake. But never resentment.Stretching out your hand means knocking on the door of the other person's heart.The other party may hesitate for the first time, but they will take the initiative to open their hearts when they meet next time. Of course, the habit of shaking hands is not limited to men and women. At various parties, shaking hands can also make new friends. Middle-aged and elderly men are used to interacting with acquaintances, and they are not proactive when interacting with strangers. Is it because you lose your curiosity that you get old; or is it because you lose your curiosity when you get old? In short, the older you get, the more annoying you become, and the more you want to avoid unfamiliar people and things. But doing so will only increase isolation and loneliness. To avoid this, instead of waiting for the other person to approach, try to communicate proactively with the other person. At first, not knowing what to say, I just held out my hand.Once you hold hands, a new world opens up. Once you develop this habit, further communication will naturally begin. For example, hold hands and talk about some interesting and happy topics.As long as you can get in touch with the other party, you will naturally pass the favorable information to the other party during the chat. The most important thing is to express your feelings faithfully. Sincere and most humane.Contact each other sincerely, and gently knock on the heart... The charming platinum generation, from today on, extend your hand sincerely!