Chapter 7 Individual survival depends on life community

In the process of getting along with others, loving others and benefiting others is a basic premise.With this premise, your relationship with others will naturally develop into a consultative social relationship. In our real life, there are often four bad interpersonal relationship patterns: protective, self-righteous, authoritarian, and manipulative.These four models have existed in our lives for a long time, and these relationships may be effective in slave society, feudal society, and (SJTXT novel download network sjtxt.Com) capitalist society, and can solve some immediate problems.But with the development of society today, it is no longer enough to use these relationship models to solve our problems.Not only do they not solve problems, they create them.This is what we mean when we say that sometimes the solution to the problem becomes the thing that creates the problem.

Now that they have become problems in today's society, they will be solved.It's just a matter of time, it's just a matter of time to change people's thinking and behavior habits, especially after the emergence of new social relations that are more conducive to human unity and cooperation, the speed of this change will be accelerated.This new social relationship is a consultative social relationship. In the history of thousands of years of human progress, the changes before 200 years were very slow, and the changes were also very simple.However, in the past one or two hundred years, human life has undergone earth-shaking changes. The speed of change is faster, richer, and more complex. We are lucky to be able to live in such a rich age.But at the same time of rejoicing, how do we face this complex and rich society, and how do we deal with more complicated interpersonal relationships and affairs?If we continue the existing (the above four) thinking patterns, we will be very disappointed and frustrated when dealing with problems, and some things will fall into a vicious circle, there will never be a way out, and there will be no light.

A common problem among the four models of protective, self-righteous, authoritarian, and manipulative is that they do not allow everyone to participate, are unequal, and the starting point of the participants is not to love others, but only to love themselves.Among them, some people's personalities and talents are not well developed because they are suppressed and dissatisfied with distribution. Even if they are developed, they are displayed in violent acts such as conspiracy, rebellion, and suppression.This violates both the tenet of love and the ideal of peace.I think we should use a more effective way to face our new century, that is, to negotiate, to negotiate forever, a gentleman uses his mouth but not his hands, and only consultation can create a better future.

In fact, in addition to the high development of science, our society has also become a society where everyone serves each other to achieve symbiosis.Today, more than 95% of the things we use are not produced and manufactured by ourselves.The food we eat, the clothes we wear, the computers, cars, and mobile phones we use are all provided for us by others, and they are the services of others that we exchange our services for.Only when people in this society are in the state of "I serve others, and others also provide services for me", and use this service spirit to maintain themselves in the life community composed of all human beings, can they obtain their own survival.Therefore, today, the spirit of service is more important than ever before.Our employees should provide services for their colleagues, for the company, for cooperative units, for their families, and finally for the whole society.Without this spirit of service, we cannot survive in this society.If the spirit of service is poor, our company's performance cannot continue to improve, and the whole society cannot develop harmoniously.A society, a country, and a company are like the human body, each part has its specific function, and only by serving and coordinating with each other can it grow into a healthy and coordinated body.

The spirit of serving others is the basic character that anyone should have in today's society.To provide services to others, it is necessary to understand the needs of the other party and form a supply form, in which frequent and effective consultations must be carried out. Today, it is not surprising that we see the social infrastructure of exchange services taking shape, and the rapid and large-scale formation of consultative interpersonal relationship patterns.In fact, the term negotiation is not new, and it is not the first time that a consultative relationship has appeared.In the hierarchical system of the past, each class had its "circle club".There are consultations within the circle, but the purpose of their consultations is only to take care of the interests of the group and the class.They may be equal and mutually beneficial internally, but it is unfair externally.In this narrow class and circle structure, what we call unity is the unity of a small number of people.Take our generation as an example. The first time we knew the word unity was in the special context of the past years. Unity means some people attacking others.What we unite is people who are the same as us, who have the same beliefs, social status, values, etc.; and do nothing to those who have different beliefs, social status, values, and even different origins, nationalities, dialects, and styles The objects of unity are treated with words and methods such as criticism, transformation, smashing, and knocking down.This kind of unity is not real unity. This narrow sense of unity actually uses unity as a means, which ultimately leads to division, struggle, and even war.A founder of unity must be able to use the talents of others to create an environment of unity, rather than picking the fruits of others.Because unity requires bringing together the talents of different types of people.Just like a healthy human body, it is the result of the different functions of various organs in the human body, but the functions of these organs and the functions they play in the human body are completely different.In the human body, there is no distinction between important and unimportant organs, because no matter which organ fails, it may lead to decline and death.The same is true for human society, our companies, and our teams.

The progress of the social system means that consultation transcends the inherent boundaries, and the applicable population is gradually expanding, and it is also gradually applicable to behaviors of different natures.Whether it is public social activities or private relationships between men and women, there are consultations in it.Consultation has universal value.Prejudice is the root of war To sit down and negotiate, the first thing that needs to be solved is the language problem.In the past, Putonghua was not formulated and promoted, only unified writing.People from different places cannot talk face to face, they can only communicate by writing.Writing cannot interact in time, and the person who writes is like publishing a declaration or notice, and the communication of information is often unilateral.In the case of poor oral communication, people who can write naturally have a kind of authority and become the power class that monopolizes information.In the ancient imperial examination system, it seemed that the main test was writing ability.The Chinese have no tradition of consultation in history. Is there any reason for this?With the introduction of Mandarin, people of all nationalities across the country can sit at the same table and hold meetings.

I firmly believe this, breaking the language barrier is the most important thing.As long as the basic tool of communication (language) is unimpeded, even if strangers meet, the first thing that comes to mind is communication, not fighting.When strangers meet, they always start by introducing themselves and getting to know each other.The state before the fight is usually too angry to speak.Only when you are too angry to speak and communication is completely impossible, you will do it; in turn, it also shows that people always try to communicate before doing anything.But it is prejudice that kills communication, which reminds me of one of the most failed conversations.

On the fifteenth day of the first lunar month after the Spring Festival in 2005, the China Entrepreneur Forum was held in Yabuli, Heilongjiang.The reason why it was chosen to be held in Yabuli is half for meetings and half for skiing.There were many people participating in this meeting, and there were many topics for the meeting, and the participants were all big names among entrepreneurs.The most intense forum was the North-South Entrepreneurs Dialogue organized by the conference—it was called a "dialogue", but it was actually more like a debate, quarrel, and duel.Both on and off the stage were emotional. Basically, the southerners supported the entrepreneurs in the south, and the northerners supported the entrepreneurs in the north. They all emphasized their differences, and their differences were expressed without exception through language and Emotions are extremely magnified, but few people can rationally find and analyze the common things of entrepreneurs from the north and the south.At that time, I was assigned to the representative of northern entrepreneurs, and my opponent was Ma Yun of Alibaba, a southern entrepreneur.Let me first declare that I am from Gansu in the west. I belong neither to the north nor to the south. I am from the west.At that time, Wu Ying from UT Starcom said: You are in Beijing, and if you earn money from Beijingers, you can be regarded as an entrepreneur in the north.In this kind of debate, it is impossible to remain neutral and detached.

The two sides quarreled fiercely. Some people said: "If Chinese entrepreneurs want to go global, can they just rely on you southerners to dump a few packs of lighters?" An entrepreneur who didn't grab the microphone immediately shouted loudly. : "You northerners have been bullying us southerners since the Song Dynasty." I thought to myself, these are prejudices, which are greatly magnified on specific occasions, and this prejudice is the root of all disharmony and disunity. This reminds me of an interview I received, which was conducted by a Shanghai newspaper and a Shanghai TV station.Their topic was the difference between Shanghai and Beijing, and the difference between Shanghainese and Beijingers.I said, in fact, this difference is very small, do not exaggerate this difference, the difference between different Shanghainese is even greater than the difference between Shanghainese and Beijingers.I also listed a series of reasons and facts to illustrate my point of view.I saw that they were all disappointed, thinking that my essay was wrong, far from the title and content they had expected.In fact, we human beings are interlinked, and identity and integrity are our greatest characteristics. We must eliminate all kinds of prejudices, including those based on race, skin color, creed, country, and degree of material civilization.

Fundamentally, in fact, which of the above-mentioned prejudices is born with us?It is all caused by various reasons in the day after tomorrow.We were born and raised in a certain area, and there are some bad guidance in the regional culture.For example, be a "proud Sichuanese", be a "proud Cantonese", etc. Why should you be proud?There is also the popular saying "We in Asia, the mountain is a high head", why should we emphasize that our own mountain is high?Are other people's mountains bowing their heads?These absurd self-awareness are even more aggressive because they think they bear some kind of "cultural basis" and some kind of "national spirit".One reason these absurd prejudices are taken for granted by some people as their own insights is that they are encouraged by what is popular in society.

Now there is a word called "PK".When I first saw the word "PK", I didn't understand what it meant, because I had never watched a "Supergirl" game, and I thought "P" meant peace (Peace).But someone told me that "PK" is a term in video games called "confrontation", which is completely opposite to the meaning of peace.The atmosphere set by the TV station for PK must be quarrelsome and uncompromising. As long as whoever has extreme views and violent language, whoever will get more votes and more support.The media also set off one after another PK, the confrontation of different viewpoints, the discussion of various issues are all called PK, it seems that the truth can be revealed by PK.In fact, the scene and atmosphere of the PK is to stimulate the struggle, all parties want to win in the PK, trying to find ways to criticize each other, I think this kind of discussion has actually violated the principle of consultation.This prejudice PK that prejudice, and finally become a meaningless failed "dialogue". PK encourages aggression and treats showing prejudice as entertainment, think about it, the roots are deep.The research of historians has proved that, counting backwards in time, the social units of human beings become smaller and more dispersed, ranging from national alliances, large countries, small countries to the smallest and most dispersed tribes.When the social unit is the smallest, the prejudice against other people is the deepest, the fighting is the most, and the people's desire for valor is the most.Aggressive and brave, quite ancient.Now that the long-awaited era of peace has come, extensive consultations have been launched in various regions and ethnic groups.Based on the desire to achieve permanent peace, we should eliminate all kinds of prejudice in a more in-depth and meticulous manner.A bias, even the tiniest, can be a crack that can destroy glass.We hold peace glassware, be careful.