Chapter 6 Others are your blessing

In the middle of the last century, there was a widely circulated saying called "others are hell".I have seen this sentence on many post-80s and post-90s blogs.I borrow this sentence to say the opposite meaning: "Others are your blessings." I firmly believe that a person's happiness will always depend on the assistance of others. You may have a seed of happiness, which must also rely on the soil of others to cultivate .It is important to sow the seeds of happiness, not the freaks of misery, otherwise other people's soil will not feed you.If you know how to give and love others, you will sow the seeds of happiness.Conversely, if you still only know how to take like a child, but you are already an adult and can dance with guns and sticks, then you are a freak who causes disasters to others.It is not easy to learn to love, but you cannot live without learning to love, because the act of loving is giving, in fact you have to give.The basis of the human social structure is mutual exchange, and there will only be rewards if you pay.We cannot violate this principle.Love is not some lofty and pragmatic concept, it is very realistic, loving others is to benefit others, and love is a lifelong knowledge, we have been learning it since we came into this world.This involves our education methods. Can our education enable children to learn to love and give?I think, first of all, parents should not beat their children, because beating a child shows violence to the child, and it is not good for the child to learn; secondly, we must pay attention to whether the direction of our children's growth education is correct.Parents now focus on raising their children to expect their children to be successful and outstanding in the future. This kind of overemphasis on competition makes children form the concept that others are enemies.There is a coffee advertisement that is very bad. It shows that after drinking a certain brand of coffee, the female white-collar worker quickly wrote a report, so she flew up, stepped on the head of the male colleague in front of her with high heels, and jumped in front of the boss. Handed over the report to the boss first.I think this is emphasizing a social value, emphasizing competition, and telling everyone that we must surpass others.In the past, in order to oppose the big pot, we emphasized that competition is beneficial, but now we still emphasize it so much that competition has become the only value, and it has become more and more intense, "others are hell".

I also have children, and I often think about how to be a good father, so I think about my parents.In my memory, my father was very brave and my mother was very kind.I also often reflect on myself, whether I look like a good father, and whether I can leave a beautiful image for my children like my father left me.I believe that for children, teaching by example is more powerful than words. If you tell him to be honest a hundred times, it is not as good as being an honest father to impress and influence him. Children must first learn to love. This is the core and essence. Just thinking about cultivating children to succeed and cultivating children's competitive skills is putting the cart before the horse.This kind of training method is very easy to shape the outlook on life of being a king and a loser. It only regards the possession of fame and fortune as success, and divides people into unfair hierarchical societies based on the scale of success.This kind of outlook on life with priority and inferiority will cultivate a distorted personality that bows to the successful and arrogant to the loser.What's even more frightening is that this outlook on life will directly destroy the basis of consultation, and it is the biggest reason why human beings cannot live in harmony.

Many parents have had the painful experience of their children not being filial to themselves when they grow up. They don't realize that the reason for their children's disrespect may be their own failed educational views.Think about it, a child views society from the perspective of winners and losers, and one day he will view his parents in the same way.Small children have a habit of comparing their parents with each other among children, just as they compare toys.If he only learns to compare in terms of money and status, he will easily judge whether his parents are successful people.If he finds that his parents are not "successful", he will feel inferior among the children because of this, and he will resent his parents.Therefore, the education of cultivating children to learn to love is also the fundamental way for parents to solve their own future welfare.

However, the model of cultivating children purely with material success as the standard has now become so common that it is terrifying.Two or three years ago, a teacher publicly said to children in the classroom: "The purpose of reading is to be rich and beautiful." Knowing the truth, having courage, not deceiving students.I absolutely disagree with his remarks, because his so-called "real truth" is actually just blindly following the popular views in society that are eager for quick success.Reading is a joyful activity of acquiring knowledge and a spiritual perception that accompanies a lifetime.The utilitarian thought of earning money and raising beautiful women basically replaces the spiritual perception in reading with material goals.It will take people out of space and become a puppet without a soul, only lured by external substances.

This kind of education has completely lost the cultivation of faith and love for human beings. If this situation does not change, the future world will be sad and terrible.