Chapter 8 Part B (Part 10)-1

Part B (Part 10-Part 11) Sha Mei's success is also her failure—she is a tombstone of youth's struggle. Shamei's Decameron Ke Lian's Nine Songs Case Tips: Sha Mei, female, 36 years old, graduated from Inner Mongolia University English College, and worked as a secretary to the director of a state-owned enterprise in Inner Mongolia after graduation.After the factory went bankrupt, he was forced to be laid off and went to Beijing to find a way out.It was very difficult to prepare for studying abroad while working part-time. Just when she could barely hold on and planned to marry an old and poor overseas Chinese and go abroad, Teacher Xu saved her life.In the end, she obtained admission and a visa with the background of the staff of the General Motors Group in the United States.

However, Sha Mei's problem is far more than the problem of studying abroad. Sha Mei's problem involves almost all the problems faced by young people in this era and society. The Eve: Sha Mei and I meet New Oriental At noon, four years before two thousand years, around winter.There is no rain in Beijing in winter, so Sha Mei came to New Oriental.She asked for Xu Xiaoping by name, and said she wanted to "talk" to me.Anyone who comes to me comes to talk to me.Anyone who wants to talk to me has a problem.This question is not a question, but a difficult question.These problems are generally big problems in the future of life.What life problems did Sha Mei encounter?

It was a gloomy February in 1996. I had just returned to New Oriental for a few weeks, and I met Sha Mei immediately before the office was settled. I had the honor of providing her with study abroad and life counseling. From then on, the relationship between me and her began. The thrilling, magnificent, and continuous history of the intersection and interaction of life has written down the most exciting long volume of poetry that I provide life consultation for contemporary youth in New Oriental. At first glance, Sha Mei looks a little depressed, I think she is already in her thirties.But as soon as he opened his mouth, he looked like a spring breeze, and he looked much younger again.After exchanging a few pleasantries, Sha Mei went straight to the topic.

She said to me sadly: "Mr. Xu, I want to go abroad. I have been fighting for this for many years, but I have not been able to go out yet. But I really can't wait any longer." I said, "When do you plan to leave?" She said : "It's best to leave tomorrow!" I said: "I understand - which country do you want to go to?" "Except for China, go everywhere!" "How old are you?" "Is it necessary to say this?" Mei looked very hesitant. "Of course! If you don't mention your age, how can I prescribe the right medicine and design a plan for you to go abroad?" "Twenty or so..." Seeing my distrustful gaze, she added: "... a little more." I knew she was lying as soon as I heard it.I asked: "How long is it?" Sha Mei gritted her teeth and told me with the courage to face death: "It's 10:30 in the fuck! I just passed my 30:50 birthday yesterday." After hearing her words, I My heart was greatly shocked, and I immediately wanted to hug this girl and give her kind comfort.But I didn't do that at the time.I had just returned to China, and I hadn't yet established my image as a loving father, and I was younger then than I am now!Hug her and you might be misunderstood by her sensitive and beautiful mind.In fact, I should hug her—one is me who has exhausted my strength to return to China, and the other is her who has exhausted my strength to go abroad. The two trends of returning to China and going abroad are warmly embraced by New Oriental. Maybe there is still a little time. Symbolism too!

Sha Mei is the kind of woman who asks for almost nothing in order to go abroad.This kind of person was an objective social phenomenon in the 1980s and 1990s.It has become a unique pathological "subculture": going abroad can solve all life's problems.If you don't go abroad, life is everything. However, no matter what people say about Sha Mei's philosophy of life, or whether her dream of going abroad is worth affirming, as a struggler, Sha Mei gave me a very good first impression.She is very well dressed, as if she just came back from get off work in a high-end foreign company; her expression is warm and clear, and her laughter is bold and high-spirited. During the conversation with me, she has always maintained a strong enthusiasm and concern for me, full of enthusiasm. The sophistication of mature women.

But Sha Mei is actually living in a desperate situation, and she came to the New Oriental Consulting Office to prove this point.The environment she was forced into was far from what she deserved.She graduated from an English junior college at Inner Mongolia University, with academic qualifications but no skills.After graduating, he worked as the secretary of the factory director of a state-owned enterprise in Inner Mongolia for several years. After the factory went bankrupt and was forced to be laid off, he came to Beijing to venture into the rivers and lakes.After finding a cheap house and a low-paying job, Sha Mei started her life in Beijing.The place where she lives is far from her workplace, almost to the west and east of the city, and she bumps back and forth on the road for four hours every day.Her age crawled from her twenties to her thirties; her youth faded under the gray sky of Beijing.

What makes me admire Sha Mei is that although she is very poor and has nothing in the material world, her spiritual state is always quite high.Maybe her heart is full of despair, but her face is always full of spring breeze.Every time I see me, I always rush over like I just finished a meeting from the State Council.The rich eyes and expressions, like a startled sparrow, rushed to my face with a huff.Judging by her appearance, you would think she is a very successful and happy woman.Strangers adore and praise her for her excellence, while good friends lament her plight. Sha Mei's self-confidence has reached the level of perverted paranoia.She always thought she was beautiful and that everyone was after her, and she always told me this feeling of herself proudly.Although I am surprised by this, I have to admit a truth: if a girl thinks she is beautiful, she will be beautiful - because belief itself is beauty, and belief is the driving force for creating beauty.I met a lot of people in New Oriental, but there is no one like Sha Mei who worships herself as a beautiful woman.It's one of the main reasons why I love her and adore her.A soldier who does not want to be a marshal is not a good soldier; a woman who does not think she is beautiful is not a good woman.Shamei is a good woman.

The direct reason why she came to the New Oriental Consulting Office to find me was that her life was at a crossroads: a 60-year-old American Chinese, although patriotic, was skinny and short and had no money. After being introduced by others, she was pursuing She also proposed to marry her and take her to the United States to live a hard life.This is the only opportunity that Sha Mei can see and grasp after nearly ten years of struggle after graduating from college, and it seems to be able to change her destiny.Desperate, she met him several times, but it was disgusting no matter what she saw.Marrying him was horrible; but not marrying him seemed even more terrifying.More than ten years later, Prince Charles has become the father of Prince Charles and gave birth to a new little prince, and the little prince has entered puberty looking for the little princess, and Sha Mei, the old man, is still waiting here silently, praying hard.Sha Mei shuddered, so her heart shook, she thought: Mom's knot is over, let's go to the United States and leave him again!If you don't leave, mentally abuse him and keep him physically isolated!

But Sha Mei is a kind woman born on the land of China after all.Although she really wanted to go abroad very much, she was unwilling to go abroad in such a way that she was close to betraying herself.So she came to New Oriental to find me, and asked me to analyze whether she had other possibilities to go abroad, such as studying in the United States, immigrating to Canada, settling in Mauritius, working in Madagascar... Anyway, her goal of going abroad is not high. Go everywhere except China! Day 1: Me and Sha Mei talk about thoughts I do "study abroad" consultation for students at New Oriental, and it often turns into a consultation "not to study abroad".In view of the emerging opportunities in China, the increasing opening up of the world to China, the improvement of the quality of life in China, and the structural changes in the demand for talents in Chinese society, I often advise many students to postpone their plans to go abroad and work hard at home for a few years.Readers will find several such cases throughout this book.After a careful analysis of her situation, I think the time has come for Shamei to go abroad.I designed a blueprint for her to study abroad.This blueprint, in the next few years, ensures that Sha Mei can go abroad, that Sha Mei can grasp the tail of her youth, and that Sha Mei realizes her ideal of struggle.

I think it's time for Sha Mei to go abroad. The first reason is because of Sha Mei's age.Sha Mei is already in her early thirties, and her domestic struggle has reached its limit.With her early age and her late career, Sha Mei had to find a breakthrough for her personal potential.She needed some new opportunity to give the struggle a spurt of leaps and bounds.Perhaps only studying abroad can break through the sound barrier between a bachelor's degree and a master's degree in just two or three years, so that the second half of life's journey can fly at supersonic speed and catch up with lost time.

I think the second reason why Sha Mei had to go abroad is because I saw a huge gap between her ability and education.Sha Mei's personal ability is very good, but her knowledge and education cannot match her personal ability.Studying abroad is actually necessary and urgent for her.Sha Mei's personal quality, especially in terms of belief in struggle, self-confidence, self-esteem, communication, and interpersonal communication, is far higher than the average level of Chinese students I have seen in New Oriental, but her cultural accomplishment and knowledge level are higher than ordinary students. To be poor.She belongs to a person with high energy and low scores, which is the exact opposite of the disease of "high scores but low energy" and "high knowledge and low quality" in this era.What Shamei lacks most is more knowledge, and generally speaking, higher diplomas marked by knowledge.Over the years, Sha Mei has always wanted to enrich herself, and has read many cram schools and refresher classes over and over again.However, due to the low quality of domestic education and the lack of educational resources, a lot of time and money were wasted, and the cultural level has not improved.Utilizing powerful foreign educational resources to improve herself will definitely bring new hope to Sha Mei's life development, which is "difficult to travel".In this sense, Sha Mei's paranoid pursuit of going abroad does have its profound historical inevitability. I think the third reason why Shamei can go abroad is because Shamei already has the necessary conditions to go abroad.The most important of these is her English ability.Although her English is not that outstanding, she is sure to get a score of 600 in TOEFL; although her college degree is not so practical, she can generally be accepted for applying to middle-level business schools in Europe and the United States; spoken English is the most precious thing she has. Ability: Although her language has an Inner Mongolian accent, which sounds a bit like yelling at animals, she can bravely spit out one vast vocabulary after another. At least people can understand this kind of horse whisperer English.Her oral conversation skills surpassed many undergraduate students.English ability is Sha Mei's greatest capital for studying abroad, and it is a pity if it is not fully invested and developed. The fourth reason I think Sha Mei should go abroad is her living situation with nothing.Sha Mei's parents are urban civilians, and they are far away in Inner Mongolia, so they cannot give any help to Sha Mei who is fighting alone in Beijing.Sha Mei does not have any resources or connections to use in Beijing, let alone any privileges.It is not a bad thing to rely on one's own struggle; however, for a society in transition, under the pressure of the dual-track system of price, system, and opportunity, expanding one's struggle capital and enriching one's own struggle resources by going abroad and studying abroad is not a bad thing for Sha Mei. Such a poor man is obviously a well-marked shortcut.Sha Mei does not have a Beijing hukou. Strictly speaking, she does not even have the right to legally work in Beijing.China's outstanding daughters cannot find their own future in their own capital. This reality, for Sha Mei and the Chinese young people who are struggling in this period of life, cannot but be said to be helpless sadness.Studying abroad can easily give her the status of an overseas student or even a patriotic overseas Chinese. When she returns to Beijing, she can not only enjoy various preferential tax exemption policies, but also get a Beijing household registration for free, and maybe even be a member of the Haidian District CPPCC Committee!In this era of unequal capabilities and rights, people can only choose unequal ways to obtain their interests.No wonder studying abroad and going abroad have become the focus of so many people's struggles, and even after becoming a blind spot, they have no regrets. The last reason, not the smallest factor, I want to help Sha Mei go abroad quickly is because of her single status.Sha Mei has never been married, so she doesn't have a stalking ex-husband; she doesn't have a boyfriend or illegitimate child, so she doesn't have any worries in her life, so why not take a leisurely walk?Compared with China, Western culture respects women more, Western culture is relatively indifferent to divorce, Western culture has more relaxed and pleasant relationships between men and women, and Western culture does not regard an penetration as a bridge that leads to a bridge of marriage.I'm not afraid that Sha Mei is still unmarried at thirty, but I'm worried that she doesn't have a boyfriend at thirty.By going abroad, she may be able to change her outlook on love and marriage and bring her new opportunities. Just like a child in a poor mountain valley, the only way to get rid of his agricultural roots is the college entrance examination, Sha Mei's important way to change her life's predicament seems to be to go abroad.Besides, for a woman like Sha Mei, how many better choices are there? Day 2: Me and Sha Mei talk about studying abroad After I dispelled the stupid idea of ​​trying to use unequal cross-border marriage to solve her own future, Sha Mei's life immediately became extremely clear. If so she smells: "First of all, you have to establish your goal and confidence in studying MBA in the United States. The goal is confidence, and confidence is the goal. Don't be moved by any other temptations or blows. If you are suitable for MBA, you can study MBA, and you can enter MBA. Work ability , English proficiency, and a college degree are the guarantees for your MBA. You have worked for many years, and this experience is not so much a waste of time as an accumulation of capital: even if you are struggling in bankrupt state-owned enterprises and proletarian leather bag companies, you are the one who applies for MBA Precious wealth. Because although you do not have the joy of turning a company from zero to 100 million, you have the pain of watching the leader turn 100 million to zero. You can learn from your own practical experience of why state-owned enterprises went bankrupt. Write your application essay, show your experience and wisdom, express your management experience and learning expectations. There are thousands of foreign universities, and there must be one waiting for you. "According to your specific situation, the US business school you are applying for should not be ranked too high, because too high will make it more difficult for you to enter, and you will fall to the bottom instead. For you, you can go to any school, any state university You can go to any city university, and you can go to a city university. If you go there, you will win. There are so many universities in the United States. Sha Mei was very happy to hear that.Because this is the first time someone told her so firmly that she can apply for an MBA in the United States with a college degree. "If I had known that I might have gone to America long ago, you would have no chance to meet me, Mr. Xu!" I was also happy to see Sha Mei happy.But at the same time sigh slightly!I wish I had come back sooner!There are too many opportunities and shortcuts in the field of going abroad that are not understood by people. It is obvious that the struggle can be smooth, but it is so dark and painful.The mistakes in the guiding ideology of studying abroad and the blockage of information about going abroad are the two main culprits for the relatively difficult struggle of Chinese students in life. So I went on to say: "Life is only once, so it must be carefully designed. Although the failure of your past struggles made you very anxious, you must eliminate this impetuous mentality, otherwise you will still be like ants on a hot pot in anxiety , making the struggle process very hasty and difficult to achieve real results. Specifically, you should leave sufficient psychological leeway for yourself in terms of time. "This psychological leeway means that time must be calm. Now it is the beginning of 1996. If you can get admitted to American universities in the autumn of 1997 by this time next year, it will be a great success. However, you'd better adjust your psychological expectations to Enrolled in the 1998 school year. Because, I don’t want you to spend your whole life in such a mental state of this year and next year. Go to bed early and dawn together. The sun rises at the same time! Going abroad sooner or later is all about studying, and life will eventually be brilliant .So, I suggest you to adjust the admission timetable to 1998. "This schedule is of great significance to your future. Because you don't realize your own weaknesses, and you don't have work experience that can be used and developed. Except for being a secretary, you have no experience in any specific industry. And the Western MBA, the most One of the most important backgrounds is your specific experience in a specific field. People who do not have this kind of experience will encounter huge obstacles in finding a job even after an MBA. Therefore, you must use a little more than two years in the next two years. Time, establish a specific work background for yourself, and create a clear professional direction for yourself. To achieve this goal, one and a half years is too hasty, and two and a half years is just right! After thinking about it, Sha Mei quickly accepted my point of view, which determined her subsequent success.From this time to going to America in 1998, compared with Sha Mei's wasted life in the past ten years, it was the most fulfilling period.She spent the next two years finding her life's work in consumer credit for energy.This field is the new job she found immediately after talking with me. It is the strongest background when she started applying for an MBA in the United States a year later. Key factors when being hired by an international energy group.Currently, she is climbing the ranks of high-level international talents in this field. Sha Mei's success in her career proves an important idea in the theory of studying abroad I created in New Oriental: studying abroad must have a long-term concept of life design.Before studying abroad, you must consider where and what to do after studying abroad!The kind of thinking that you can talk about it after you go out and study abroad is an ostrich behavior in the field of studying abroad.It is said that shooting needs three points and one line to hit the target. There is also the concept of "three points and one line" in the process of studying abroad: the "three points" are: the background before going abroad, the degree after going abroad, and the job after graduation; the three points Must meet the requirements of "first-line": that is, they must be equal in profession or industry, at least roughly equal.Only in this way can the study abroad fighters hit the target and achieve success. There are also many people who have changed their careers by studying abroad and achieved success.But for those who have to change careers in the middle of their lives, there is only one reason for changing careers: the lack of long-term planning in life.The three points were distorted and could not be connected into a line, so they had to be diverted.Even if this is why society is changing so quickly, you have no right to blame society: because you are the one who suffers, and others succeed (I will dwell on this matter elsewhere). Sha Mei nodded, she was completely convinced by me.However, thinking of 1998, her brows frowned into a pleated skirt.She said: "Mr. Xu, I can wait! And I also know the emptiness and distress that I have lived without a major. I am willing to spend two years to rebuild this foundation--" Sha Mei suddenly lowered her voice and tilted her head The body leaned in front of me, looked at me desperately and said: "But can you guarantee my visa in two and a half years? If I can't get the visa, won't I be ruined?" The visa is indeed pending. The sharp sword of contemporary struggling youth studying abroad.No one can guarantee that Sha Mei can get a student visa, even if she finds an American visa officer as her boyfriend.Regarding this question, I made this suggestion: "There are many ways to go abroad. Sometimes, for double insurance, you can go in two steps. I suggest that you apply for Canadian skilled immigration while striving to study abroad. Canada's current immigration policy is so loose High school graduates plus your level of English can get their permanent resident status as a secretary-this status is at least as valuable as the Beijing Hukou that you will never get. Apply for immigration, and it will definitely be approved, You have added double insurance when you go abroad, which can almost be said to be foolproof. "In fact, if you can get permanent resident status in Canada, you don't need to go to the United States. Canada's higher education is also very developed, with world-class business schools. The most amazing thing is that with a Canadian green card, you can live in Canada. To fulfill your dream of studying abroad with government subsidies and interest-free loans, there is no need to go to the United States to consume too much youthful energy. Through Canadian immigration, it was, is, and will be one of the best ways to study abroad in the past "Immigrating to Canada is an important way to ensure that Shamei can go abroad successfully.Although this shortcut to study abroad and the opportunity to go abroad were not recognized and captured by more people at the time.In fact, we put forward a slogan in the process of providing overseas consultation at New Oriental - "Canadian immigration, the shortcut and guarantee for studying abroad" - as well as various ideas and suggestions related to immigration, which really helped many students on their way to obtain Shortcuts and guarantees for the future.Although New Oriental's immigration services are done in the form of commercial operations, from the first day I returned to New Oriental, this commercial operation has been endowed with the idealistic value of life choices and future design in the true sense, and it has become the ideal value for us to assist students. (Immigration is a rare and precious channel for Chinese people to go to the world. I will discuss its meaning of struggle and life impact on contemporary youth in another monograph. Readers please pay attention). Sha Mei said: "How come I don't know about such a good thing?" I said: "For Canadian immigrants, the country has only been opened up in the past two years! A closed society can only produce closed hearts; an open China , has opened up your life! Chinese people will have more and more opportunities to go to the world, and it will become easier! There will be fewer and fewer people like you! This is a small world after all! This is a small world after all! Small world, in the final analysis. Sha Mei, congratulations on catching up with the new era of the world! And you, will become the pioneer of the era." After listening to my words, Sha Mei was so happy that she took a catwalk in the office, as if she was walking With this step, she walked towards her Father Charming; towards her Uncle Sam; her face was full of boldness; although her movements were actually very ugly. I strike while the iron is hot: "The third and most important point is to put the foundation of going abroad on the soil of not going abroad. In the process of striving to go abroad, you must give up the idea of ​​going abroad tonight and not going anywhere except China. The impetuous mentality of going abroad. Going abroad is important, but if you can’t go abroad, it’s definitely not a way out. The only correct reason to go abroad is to improve your potential and broaden your horizons. The kind of people who want to go abroad urgently because they didn’t do well in China My friend, in the end, he can neither leave the country nor return to the country - because he has lost the motivation and foundation to cultivate and harvest in the Chinese land. "The biggest mistake of studying abroad is that because you have a plan to go abroad, you regard your life in China as a short-term behavior, and you base your happiness on a dream that you can never control, such as going abroad. People are most likely to forget: going abroad It is just a means, not an end; going abroad is only a passage, not an end. If you take the means as the purpose and the passage as the focus, you will never reach the goal and never reach the end. Because you don’t know yourself What do you want—maybe you think you know what you want, but in fact what you are after is an illusory dream. Go to the United States, and you can't fly to the moon. "If going abroad is not the purpose, what is the purpose? A happy life is the purpose. And a happy life must not be divided by which country you live in. The number of suicides and murders in the United States is much higher than that in China. If you think If a happy life is the United States, you will definitely not be happy for the rest of your life. Unhappy people have their own misfortunes; but the happy fighters are all the same: they are all eager to learn, they are all dedicated to their work, they all love their industry, and they are all in the industry. In an industry that seems so simple and uninteresting to others, because of dedication and hard work, they have made earth-shattering careers. Liu Yonghao makes chicken feed, Yang Yuanqing saves computers, Yu Minhong teaches TOEFL, Xu Xiaoping and I -- because I have been unable to make music abroad for the past eight years , and haven’t found a suitable industry, so you can’t do anything at the age of 40. So, although going abroad is very important to you, if you take dislike of life in China as your motivation to go abroad, you will never have real motivation , you will never reach the other shore. Therefore, in the final analysis, you still have to take Chinese society as your stage, be good at dancing, choose a stage for a specific industry, and jump from domestic to foreign, and then from foreign to domestic. The world, right here It's under your feet!" "Dancing? I like it. I can do fast, slow, and slow! I can do modern and classical!" Sha Mei beamed with joy. I interrupted her angrily: "Don't be kidding. I didn't talk about dancing. What I said is that you should choose a professional job that you like and are good at, and do it seriously. Use a major to connect the road to go abroad. This is the way to The key to success and happiness." My suggestions above may not have any new or unique tricks, but in China in 1996, Sha Mei was completely saved from the desperate situation in life.Thinking about it now, why did these words, which were nothing special, have such an important effect on Sha Mei?The fundamental reason is that the consultation I provided in the New Oriental Consulting Office is the information that Shamei trusts, trusts, and recognizes, feels safe, and is willing to pursue.The value of New Oriental Consulting has demonstrated its unique brilliance and charm at this time.Writer Lu Yuegang said that I like to praise myself.But for the principle of seeking truth from facts, I also went all out. Studying abroad, immigrating, and accumulating capital to go abroad based on domestic sources or the basis for further struggle at home, these three ideas can basically cover several main directions of struggle for a "young man of the right age to go abroad".Moreover, these three directions are not contradictory or conflicting, but complement each other: *Domestic value: Try to do even the simplest work in China and accumulate important industry experience. Immigrants to Canada or to study in the United States are very valuable capital for job hunting and admission qualifications; *The value of studying abroad: obtaining an MBA in North America (even if it is an MBA, its value will be greatly reduced if there is no specific industry experience) is very important for returning to China for development or If she goes to Canada to make a living, her competitiveness will be substantially improved, and it will be decisive for obtaining a decent job (otherwise she will have no way out if she goes to Canada); *The value of immigration: Canadian immigration status can ensure that Shamei Entering North America and ensuring that Sha Mei can complete the overseas higher education she urgently needs at a world-class Canadian institution of higher learning at a low tuition fee is also of decisive significance to her life's career, whether she is in North America or China. Shamei's experience in the past six years has proved that my design is correct.But at that time, Sha Mei could not have imagined that the road to go abroad would suddenly become so safe and reliable.After listening to my passionate life design, she first laughed out loud and bent over.But when she straightened up, her face became serious again. She said: "Ms. Xu, I can work hard according to your plan, but what if I can't get out after working hard to the end? What if my student visa is rejected or my immigration application is rejected, then I have Thirty, more than thirty." When Sha Mei spoke, she revealed her greatest fear: a person only lives once, and a woman's youth is only ten years.Sha Mei's youth, in fact, has reached late spring!What if I can't get out again and Lao Ran Ran is approaching? I sighed deeply, and said firmly: "At least, your career in China will also enter a broad road of healthy development." Seeing Sha Mei's disappointed eyes, I know that such a struggle has not yet been realized in life. For a woman with the most basic goal, it is inhumane to encourage her to give up the goal she has pursued for half her life at this time. Although I have a way to make her give up, it is not necessary until the last moment.So I said: "Since ancient times, there is a road in Huashan! You have already climbed halfway, if you retreat, failure is inevitable; but if you persist in striving and continue to pursue, success is very possible. Of course you can bet on possible success and inevitable failure. Take a smart gamble. Are you living today just waiting for the possibility to happen? Why do you ask me for the highest value insurance with no premium? What I give you is just a set designed for you based on your situation that is most suitable for you I have the confidence to succeed or not; it is up to you to decide whether to adopt it or not. But other than that, what other options do you have? Marry that old prince?” Beijing in the early winter of 1996 was full of Beijing is full of opportunities and confusion.The pace of multinational companies entering China is quietly accelerating, and the trend of overseas students returning to China to start businesses is also surging.A seer sees the future and prepares for it.Sha Mei is actually one of these prophets, although she didn't realize it herself.She is sprinting towards the future.There is no ranking in the race of life, as long as those who insist on reaching the finish line will get gold medals.Sha Mei has everything ready, the only thing left is the firing of the starting gun.Her starting gun is my little bit of guidance and clearly pointed out the goal of struggle. After listening to what I said, it was probably the last reminder to the old prince that stimulated Sha Mei's courage.She gritted her teeth and stomped her feet, and said, "Mr. Xu, I'll fucking listen to you!" From then on, the arduous sprint of life began. Day 3: Me and Sha Mei talk about marriage The reason for going abroad has been decided, and with the passion of having a dialogue with an era and saving a generation of women who went abroad, I continued to have a dialogue with her. So I said: "The last thing you can do at present is to marry that person. The most precious thing in life is freedom and independence. If you are not free, you will give me death. This is true for the nation, but it is actually more important for men and women. Love and marriage can make us lonely However, if love and marriage are regarded as an intermediary in the pursuit of material satisfaction rather than the ultimate goal, such a person will never be happy, because this is another form of prostitution. Prostitution does not matter, the purpose is to Clear. But the reason you married this old guy is not that you can't survive, nor is it because you want to cure your mother's esophageal cancer. You want to go abroad because you want to improve yourself through studying abroad. Such a noble value Therefore, other women can go out in this way, but you cannot. Because in this way, all your ideals and pursuits will be covered by the commitments and obligations contained in marriage, and you will fall into the desire of this man and under control. You must think clearly, if you must go out through marriage, then you must be prepared to give up the pursuit of studying abroad and the pursuit of ideals. Because the old man spent a lifetime of money and feelings to get you to the United States, He will never allow you to go to MBA—do you know what MBA means? Married but available, you can do it again after you get married—how could he allow it!” Sha Mei rolled her eyes and asked with luck: “ Don't be so sure! Don't look at his virtues, what if his heart is beautiful--I mean, what if he loves me very much in his heart, loves me, or can't bear the damage caused to him by my repeated requests to study? Mental torture, finally agreeing to me to study for a real MBA?" I smiled bitterly and said, "It would be even more unlucky. You and him are unlucky at the same time. Now, if there is a handsome, tall American boy who is 1.85 meters kneeling in front of you , would you still want that 1.58 meter?" Sha Mei said triumphantly, "There is no one—except you!" In front of you and behind you are all hot pursuits of handsome American boys, plus two lonely and sexually hungry male compatriots who are silently considerate and dedicated to you. After two years of cold windows, unless you are not a human being, you will definitely sneak into their love greenhouse and kill you. You can't stand that withered marital bed anymore. It will be a tragedy for you and your loving father at that time. Even if you are not famous for murder, you will be the subject of gossip when your husband beats you !" Sha Mei rolled her eyes, feeling unwilling.So I asked with a little humor and self-deprecation: "Is it wrong to marry an old overseas Chinese? Why don't you look at the problem from the perspective of patriotism?" I laughed and said, "I don't object to your transnational marriage Anyway, I don't want to marry you - I don't have the legal right to want to - I have the right and there is no selling point that attracts you. But you just don't want to marry this poor old Chinese who has no money, and tie your fate to a destiny that you can control This is a waste of good assets. Chinese girls, especially a good girl like you, are not so cheap. It is said that marriage is like shoes, comfortable and uncomfortable, only the toes know; but the shoes are not broken But everyone knows it. This old man is a pair of broken shoes: If he is younger, no matter how poor he is, I will advise you to think carefully; if he is richer, the older he is, the more he must get married as soon as possible, and the wedding will be held before the funeral才能合法继承遗产！但这个家伙又老又穷却想拥有沙玫你这样的美好的姑娘，真他妈不要脸！这是对祖国母亲的冒犯。我控诉！你可以继续幻想你的白马王子怀揣美国护照来把你掠夺上马，但千万不要上了马才发现他是匹孥马需要反过来骑在你身上才能走路。"说到这里，我深情地说："沙玫同志，人最宝贵的是生命，生命于我们只有一次--虽然婚姻可以有好多，只要不是同时Concurrently就行，但我们依然要像珍重生命那样珍重自己的爱情埃"沙玫听了也拊掌大笑，我们两个同时笑出了眼泪，笑声中我们都感到人生的无奈。 第四日：我和沙玫谈职业 一、沙玫的铁屋子 沙玫的旧工作，是在一家小型电脑公司做秘书。公司在北京的东南角，她却住在北京海淀的西北方。每天上下班要在路上消耗四个小时。北京的清晨和夜色也许是美丽而浪漫的，但是对于沙玫，它们却意味着困倦、颠簸、灰尘、噪音，无聊致死的下一站、下一站、永远没有终点的终点站。坐在车里，有时候沙玫自己也觉得奇怪：既然已经到了终点了，为什么要让我下车继续往前走？沙玫的生活没有归宿感。 日复一日，年复一年，汽车在售票员刺耳的报站声中喘息着前进：走过二里沟，沙玫想起自己贫穷的故乡；走过左家庄，沙玫想起恐怖的文革；走过公主坟，沙玫想起青春原来就在这里被埋葬；走过八宝山，沙玫想起人生原来最终的归宿是这里；走到五棵松，沙玫想起沙尘暴，想起被砍光的森林，想起遍地绿荫的美国但至今就是去不了！沙玫就这样遐想着、颠簸着、昏沉着、无聊着生活，走过一站比一站更令人担忧和同情的人生站点。 我问沙玫为什么不换一份工作，偏在这个不能发挥她个性特长的小公司混？她说这个公司的好处是上班以后事情不多，所以有"很多时间"学英语。这是她不急于换工作的重要原因。我听了，顿时感到胃酸，立即表示强烈反对。在工作时间学英语，精力不可能集中，效果不可能突出，这种学习状况是最糟糕的。新东方培训之所以有效，秘密之一，在于鼓动学生们在短时间内产生爆发力式的冲刺式学习方式。集中精力干好一件事，是新东方培训的秘诀之一、也是大大小小成功者的成功秘密之一。沙玫显然没有理解这个道理。 而且由于公司"不忙"，自己也就没有什么发展机会，甚至连工作经验也谈不上。从挣钱的角度同样也就没有什么潜力。所以，沙玫舍不得放弃的工作其实恰恰就是她的人生陷阱，也是无数人的人生陷阱。有一种动物，生活在永无阳光的恒暗的深海，一旦把他们打捞上来，见到普照万物并且是生命之源的阳光，这些动物会立即死亡。生物界如此，在人类社会，这种情况其实更加普遍更加可怕。在铁屋子里呆久了的人，往往不愿醒过来，承受打不开黑屋子的恐惧。而这种恐惧，确实可以使一个人死得不仅悲惨，而且恐怖。从人道和安乐的角度，假如这个黑屋子真的不可能打开的话，真的还不如慢慢死去。 沙玫就是这样在黑暗中生活，而当阳光终于照到她的身边的时候，她差点还想愉快地拒绝。问题是，沙玫想拒绝打开的黑屋子，其实属于那种轻轻一捅就破的纸墙，而外面已经是春光明媚。沙玫命运的转折，首先从她变换工作开始，而变换工作，首先从我帮助她战胜打开铁屋子的恐惧开始。 二、沙玫的金钥匙 初见沙玫几周后，我接到一个在一家跨国公关公司供职的朋友的电话，他告诉我美国通用能源集团为开辟中国市场，要在北京搞一个大型公关活动，以吸引人们的注意。人手不够，需要一个能干的人临时帮忙打杂，时间是一个月，工资是三千块。他说我在新东方接触那么多学生，是否可以帮忙介绍一个？ 我想起了沙玫，就问她想不想去。沙玫兴奋地说当然！突然能去外企工作，简直是喜讯的晴天霹雳埃但当她听说这份工作只有一个月的时间，脸上立即黑云压城，失望地表示不干。她不想失去眼前这个虽然不精彩但是却保证她生存的位置。民以食为天，没有饭吃的生活，才是真正恒暗而冰冷的海底。 但我毫不忧郁地鼓励沙玫大胆放弃目前工作，把握外企这个机会。我说：其实一个月的工作和一辈子的工作并没有什么区别。即使现在给你的是一份长期合同，但依然有三个月的试用期。干得不好，同样会被辞退。所以，真正长期有保障的工作是没有的。在今日中国社会上，惟一的职业安全保障，是你适应新工作和新挑战的能力。合同是幻觉，能力是合同。如果你沙玫连这点心理素质都没有的话，谈何去美国奋斗！ "即使是采取教授终生制的美国大学，也流传这样的话，Publish or Perish，没有成果就毁灭。只要你在这一个月内向通用能源公司展示了你沙玫真我的风采，我敢肯定他们一定会挽留你，你一定会在这里找到一份长期工作，从而真正实现你人生奋斗的第一个目标--一份像样的职业！"我知道，通用能源公司，以及任何其他公司来到中国的首要战略，就是寻找合适的人才。新闻发布会之后干什么？不就是招兵买马吗？沙玫作为发布新闻的人，显然会捷足先登。 我非常自信而坚定地鼓励动员沙玫辞职，接受这份只有一个月的合同，在别人看来也许这是一种冒险。但在我心里，我知道这是一种真正的安全和真正的前途。我有深刻的思想和坚强的理论支持我这样做。而这个思想和理论，成为我后来在新东方咨询的基本特点。简单归纳，有下列几个方面：1、对于人才自身素质的信心。我从沙玫身上看到了她的优秀才能并坚信这种能力在跨国公司里面可以得到最大的发挥。所以，我的信心其实是源自沙玫本身。沙玫像无数人，无数人像沙玫，当他们在奋斗之路上精疲力竭地走到我的身边的时候，他们共同的错误是自己看不到自己的才能与机会，就像钻石自己不知道自己可以成为钻戒一样。只要稍加琢磨，沙玫肯定是一个可以成为钻戒的钻石，我对此毫不怀疑。我希望每一个人，都要看到自己身上的潜在能力，潜在技能。 2、对于各国跨国公司进入中国市场战略和速度的信心。西方跨国公司对于中国市场的热恋之情和进入中国市场的历史必然，虽然在1996年寒冷的冬天，沙玫并不能看到2000年以后的中国，但是我能看到。我更能看到，西方公司来到中国市场，他们什么都不缺，缺的就是人才。沙玫这样懂外语、比较西方化的知识女性，是这些外企在中国最需要的基本人才。一个喜欢和外国人结婚的女子，在文化上更加容易和外国公司搞起来--真没想到，性生活居然可以和职业前途暗合。通用能源集团来到中国，可以派高级主管，但不可能从美国空运秘书和办公室助理来。 3、对于国外职业市场规律的了解与信心。美国的职业咨询专家经常说：百分之九十的工作都是不经过广告直接从各个渠道填充上的。换言之假如通用能源集团要招一百个人的话，很可能九十个人都是未经公开招聘，而是通过各种内部信息得来的。一个月的工作虽短，让老板知道沙玫是一个可用之人，已经让沙玫在未来就业机会上，战胜了另外九十人，进入前十名。既然通用能源集团在中国大规模发展的战略已定，沙玫这样的已经为他们有过贡献的人，肯定是捷足先登者。桥头堡已经架到了沙玫的床头，沙玫居然要把它炸掉。这简直是毁灭自己前途的人体炸弹啊，是拒绝成功青春恐怖主义。 4、对于人才国际通用标准的了解与信心。美国商学院，最喜欢有具体工作经验的人；加拿大就业市场，最优先有跨国公司背景的人。无论沙玫是去美国读书还是去加拿大移民，国际公司的工作经验，是一个和学历能力同样重要的基本素质，值得不惜一切代价去追求。可惜沙玫看不到这一点。 5、最后，这是出于我本人对于奋斗者命运的本能的责任感和驱动力。沙玫已经这么大，再这样下去，她就会像许多大龄青年那样，使青春在寂寞中永远地消逝、沉沦。沙玫有能力、有决心、有令人敬佩的意志从困境中崛起。这样优秀的女性，Deserve更加美好的生活。因此，我宁可把她从昏睡中唤醒，把她抛弃到充满风险和挑战的国际化人才市场上去，给自己插上草标重新叫卖一个好价钱，从而让她的价值得到升值。尽管我无法排除卖不出去的危险，但我无论如何无法容忍沙玫这样的女孩子每天每日就这样从公主坟到八宝山，从二里沟到五棵松，生活在没有生命的寂寞中。我要让她展开奋斗的翅膀。 在我的鼓动下，沙玫有点心动。但她反问我："辞工容易复工难，一个月之后，通用能源集团又不留我工作，那我不就两头落空了吗？"我说："我坚信通用能源集团这次活动之后肯定会留你！我有这个直觉。如果通用能源集团一个月之后不雇你，你可以到我这里来工作！"说完这话，我自己立即有点紧张。当时的新东方咨询处并没有招聘计划。即使需要人手，我做咨询也不能这么做：假如我的人生咨询搞到了让人家辞职、辞职后没有工作就到这里来工作的地步，那简直就是胡闹。如果这样，我该接纳多少万个新员工！同时，作为原则，我鼓励别人选择工作，如果以我这里的工作做保底的话，那我的咨询就不是咨询，我的咨询就变成了挖人才。 沙玫是我在新东方第一个、也是惟一一个提供就业担保的。现在想起来，可能是因为沙玫的年龄与不幸，优秀与绝望，实在使得我不得不这么做吧。为了拯救这个叫做沙玫的女孩，我什么都不顾了！当然，我当时的心理动机实际上是：沙玫肯定能够在通用集团长期做下去，给她担保，只是为了激励她接受这个机会。为了沙玫的幸福，我宁可赌博一次。 有了我的这个安全保证，沙玫决定接受能源集团的工作，去见通用公司的老板。但几个小时之后沙玫找到我，带着哭腔说：这份工作不是一个月，而是一周！一周，可能只用她四五天。