Chapter 7 Section 6 Psychologically Unbearable Darkness

Is life like a dream, or is life not a dream?Manhattan, the city of dreams, how many people can truly realize their dreams? Psychologically Unbearable Darkness (1) "I am a citizen of the United States, but I am not an American." This statement sounds strange, but it is true in the United States.The United States was originally a fertile land that a group of European adventurers took from the native Indians and created.So the ancestors of modern Americans should be those European adventurers.Later, a large number of black slaves purchased from Africa became the second largest ethnic group of Americans.Over time, the spirit of liberalism in the United States has attracted peoples from all over the world, and the waves of immigrants continue to this day.Hispanic South Americans flocked to the United States because of their proximity to the water, and the largest number were Mexicans and Puerto Ricans. "Laoxi" (Hispanic) adhere to the national tradition of having more children and more blessings, and every household is full of children and grandchildren.The rapid population growth has surpassed the "Old Blacks" in the United States and has become the second largest ethnic group in the United States. "Old China" has conquered the world with its culinary skills, and as long as there are people, there are Chinese restaurants. "Old Han" conquers the world with taekwondo and laundromats, and his desperate spirit is unique, even Lao Zhong sighs.

When these immigrants with their own independent nationality became American citizens, they soon felt the shadow of racial discrimination in real life.I found that only European whites and blacks regard themselves as authentic Americans in the United States, while Hispanics, the second largest ethnic group, have not yet regarded themselves as authentic Americans, let alone Chinese.In such a racially diverse country, it is difficult to have no racial discrimination. Racial discrimination in the United States has changed from the original blatant survival oppression to a milder "symbolic racism".In this new concept proposed by Sears in 1988, White Americans' prejudice against blacks and minorities has changed from a direct threat to self, work, neighbors and schools to a "white pride" traditional American values” such as individualism, self-reliance, and the work ethic.

Manhattan is known as the metropolis of the world. There is no place in the world that gathers people of different skin colors from all over the world like Manhattan.If the notorious racial discrimination in American history is still rampant in certain areas of the United States, Manhattan is the area least affected by racial discrimination in people's minds.And yet, I saw the reality of Manhattan racism in my consulting room. Hussey abruptly discontinued his therapy after three sessions, and his therapist wrote unimpressive comments in his medical records.But when Hussey returned to therapy a few weeks later, I became his therapist.I read Hussey's medical records, anticipating that the patient I was about to deal with would be a difficult and dangerous individual.Because he once sat in prison for 10 years on charges of drug trafficking and shooting police officers.Most of what I know about drug dealers comes from movies, and I thought it was a very interesting experience when I was facing Hussey, and now I am facing a cold-blooded killer.

Hussey is not tall and looks very strong.His eyes were piercing, like a cheetah.Unexpectedly, Husseqian is reasonable, quick-thinking, and morally noble, without the appearance of a cold-blooded killer.What is going on here?Why did the previous psychiatrist speak so poorly of Hussey? "Hussey, I wonder why you discontinued your previous session?" I didn't want to be dismissed by my patient in a daze. "It's nothing, I just feel that he can't understand my situation." "Why do you say he can't understand you?" Hussey didn't answer my question, but just looked at me straight and expressionless.I knew Hussey's conflicts with the police from his past, so I guessed, "Is it because he's white?"

Hussey's laugh confirmed my suspicions.He sighed a long time and said, "My whole life has been ruined by the white police. My youth, my family, my career and even my future cannot escape the white police's persecution. How could I Opening up my heart to a white therapist?" Hussey told me his tragic story.Hussey, who was originally from Puerto Rico, immigrated to the United States at a young age and lived in Connecticut.Since several South American countries close to the United States are of Hispanic descent, Hispanics can be said to be surging in the immigration wave in the United States.Due to the relatively low social and cultural level of most Hispanics, conflicts between Hispanic immigrants and native American whites and blacks are inevitable.Whites hated Hispanics because Hispanics arrived in droves, destroying the original community character of whites.And blacks hate Hispanics because hardworking Hispanics rob the jobs of blacks who are also in the bottom society.Under such a social background, the police will naturally become gunmen who vent racial anger.

The young and energetic Hussein was dissatisfied with the unreasonable challenges of the police, and organized a grand community petition with the leaders of the Hispanic community.They invited MPs, attorneys general, justices, and journalists from major newspapers to their community, which has been demonized by the police.When those big shots bit the bullet and came to the community, they were stunned by the flowers, wine and dances in front of them.Clever Hussey and his friends succeed in overturning bigwigs' prejudices against the Hispanic community, but it invites a series of disasters in Hussey's personal life.

Hussein's wife and 7-year-old daughter were scolded and pushed unreasonably by the police at home.When Hussein returned home, he faced the crying of his wife and daughter but was unable to redress his grievances. Under the design of the police, a drunk man went to Hussein's house to provoke him and tried to assassinate Hussein with a dagger.When Hussein successfully snatched the drunk man's dagger, a large number of policemen suddenly appeared with live ammunition, and one of the policemen shot at Hussein without hesitation. a life.When the frantic officer changed a clip and then continued to fire at Hussey, Hussey was forced to return fire, hitting the officer in the leg with one shot.Although the shot was forced to return fire, for the police, anyone who dared to shoot at the police has since become the public enemy of the police.

In court, Hussey argued hard, showing that he fought back in self-defense and did not have the slightest intention to provoke trouble.The jury and the judge were so aware of it that time that Hussey was released in court.Although the verdict seemed to be won by Hussey, the police inevitably developed a grudge with him. One day, the police heard from a drug dealer that his drugs were obtained from Hussein.The police were overjoyed when they heard Hussein's words, and without asking which Hussein it was, they immediately set off and rushed to Hussein's house. When they met, they beat him up and arrested Hussein.When the police happily took Hussey back to the police station, the drug dealer in front shouted: "You caught the wrong person, I don't know this person at all."

The police were shocked when they heard this, but immediately stopped the drug dealer, and then made the mistake and still put Hussein in jail.Hussey spent 10 years in prison amid a vengeful persecution by the entire police force.But Hussein never stopped fighting. He always dreamed that one day the truth would be revealed to the world.Hussey's unyielding hard-boned spirit has aroused the continuous oppression of the Connecticut police. When the 10-year prison sentence was over, Hussey still could not gain complete freedom.Hussey had to move to Manhattan, thinking he would escape the constant hounding of Connecticut police.But soon he found out that he was wrong.The Manhattan police quickly found him and ordered him to report to the police station once a week to report his living conditions.His criminal record also prevented him from finding a decent job in Manhattan.

Even so, Hussein's disaster was not over.One day in the subway, Hussey had a conflict with a tall black man. The black man punched him in the head provocatively.That's when the police arrived, and Hussey was described in police records as a vicious assailant.In court, prosecutors proposed heavy sentences ranging from 10 to 25 years. "It was just a fight between two men in the subway, and it was caused by that black man. Why did the prosecutor propose a severe sentence of 10 to 25 years for me? If this is not persecution, what is it?" Hussey's eyes widened. Staring at me red, what can I say?What can I do?This is beyond the scope of my psychotherapy.

"I am 55 years old. I have never done anything illegal in my life, but I have been turned into a gangster. Do I want to spend the rest of my life in prison?" The pair of cheetah-like eyes were bloodshot and confused. "Where can I go? To your China?" Hussey grinned. Even in such a catastrophic moment, Hussey can still make a bitter joke. I feel helpless and sad. "What are we black people? The United States is not our home, because we are discriminated against everywhere." Jesse, a black patient of mine, sighed to me: "The black people in the United States are actually inferior to the black people in Africa. My hometown is in Where? I don’t know, I just want to go back to Africa to find my roots, and I don’t know where my roots are.” "You feel like a homeless bum?" "We black people in America are all spiritually homeless." Jesse proposed a new term "spiritually homeless". One day, one of my American classmates, Elliott, invited me to a bar to watch the NBA finals.I am very interested in such activities, so I went excitedly.Sitting down on the big sofa in the bar, we chatted casually before the ball game started.I said: "Afro-Americans are really good at football, and people of other races are incomparable. I think God created people with their own arrangements." "You mean, black people are only suitable for playing basketball?" Elliott with long braids smiled at me like a hippie. "I think people should make the best use of their talents. This is probably the spirit of liberalism." "No, I heard a subtext in your words. What you really mean is that blacks are inferior to other races in the field of elegance." Elliot pressed on every step, which made me feel a little uncomfortable. "In a free environment, all people participate in free competition, and the final outcome will be one or the other. I don't think it must be attributed to racial discrimination." I pointed out my point of view. "Hmph, free environment, what is there to guarantee?" Elek's hostility was very obvious.I looked at Elek's fair face with a trace of doubt. Elliot was obviously sensitive to my doubts. He lowered his head and said softly: "Half of my blood is black, and the other half is white. I look completely white, but I can't deny my black blood." , which makes me more miserable than just being black. Because I hear what people don’t say in front of black people, and I know how deeply people discriminate against black people.” Elliott's words both embarrassed and shocked me.I observed whether I had racism against black people, and I found that deep down in my heart, I did.Thinking back to us Chinese, racial discrimination may not necessarily be as serious as in the United States, but the inner devaluation of black people is even worse.When I was abroad, my friends often joked that I should find a foreign girl to marry. "Is it okay to find a black girl?" I replied. "Are you out of your mind?" My friend immediately stopped my joke.I deeply feel that while we Chinese have been discriminated against by whites in the past hundred years, we are also discriminating against blacks who we consider to be inferior ethnic groups.When I was in China, I didn’t meet many black people. Even if I had the intention to discriminate, I didn’t necessarily have the act of discrimination.It wasn't until we went abroad that we were shocked by the absurd discrimination of Chinese people. Not long after I arrived in the United States, when I talked about racial discrimination in a class discussion at the Illinois School of Professional Psychology, I said to a white American student sitting in front of me: "Ordinary Chinese people would not be willing to marry a black man." Unexpectedly, the student immediately passed my words on to another black female student. After class, the black female student immediately came to ask me what I meant.I knew I had made a slip of the tongue, so I could only find excuses to cover up the predicament.This kind of unconscious racism was especially obvious when I first arrived in the United States. Even a scholar like me who pretends to be transcendent has such irrational ideas of racism. When we severely criticize the racism of Americans, we should do the same. Deep reflection. Back to the topic, what I want to tell in this section is a story about racial discrimination against black people.Sinsey, a 75-year-old black woman, was ordered by the court to receive psychological treatment on the grounds of aggravated obstruction of law enforcement.When I received this case, I felt a little strange. Why did this obese black old lady who even walked with a cane commit a crime of serious obstruction of law enforcement? "Can you tell me what happened?" I said to Yan kindly. "My granddaughter and grandson had a quarrel at home. The grandson is 12 years old and the granddaughter is 19 years old. The younger grandson couldn't quarrel with his sister, so he called the police as a prank and lied that his sister pointed a pistol at his head and threatened to kill him." Xin Sai said calmly. To be honest, there was no weird look on her face. "Then the police came!" "Yes, a group of policemen broke into my house like menacing ghosts. I didn't know what happened. The police didn't explain to me. They just searched through boxes and cabinets. Of course they couldn't find anything. They asked me where I hid the gun? Isn't that What a joke, where did I get a pistol? Of course I protested loudly. The white policeman ordered me and my granddaughter to be arrested, and the other policemen asked him, is this old lady really going to be arrested? Tell me, I am At home, I didn’t commit any crime, but I was arrested, and they didn’t find any pistol, but they also arrested my granddaughter, what kind of police is this?” Xin Sai said, his body trembling with anger. "So, what happened next?" "When I arrived at the police station, they put me in jail. I said I wanted to go to the toilet, but the policeman asked me to open the toilet door. I said I couldn't urinate with the door open, but the policeman insisted that I open the door." "The policeman is a man?" "Yes, a male policeman, he actually asked me, a 75-year-old woman, to open the door when going to the toilet. What does this mean? Is it because he is afraid that I will escape, or is he deliberately humiliating me?" "Is there such a rule in the prison?" I asked. "Regulations? What shit rules. Are male policemen allowed to watch female prisoners go to the toilet with impunity?" Xin Sai's answer made me feel stupid. "What's even worse is that when I appeared in court the next day, the white policeman wanted to handcuff me behind my back. That's the handcuff method only used on serious criminals. Pity me, a 75-year-old woman who suffers from severe rheumatoid joints. Yan, usually, I can’t put my hands behind my back at all. The policeman used brute force to handcuff me. In court, they changed my back handcuffs to front handcuffs. I have never been humiliated so much in my life. What is this for?" Xin Sai's tears began to flow down uncontrollably. What can I do in the face of such a "psychological patient"?Am I going to heal her "bad attitude" towards the police, or am I healing her trauma from the police?It is conceivable that the probability of such a story happening in the United States is really not low.I also wondered if this happened on Pike Avenue, where the richest people live on the Upper East Side of Manhattan, and if an old white lady protested against the police as loudly as Xin Sai, would she suffer the same tragic fate? Woolen cloth? In the United States, there are occasional cases of black people being shot dead by the police for no reason. Even Chinese people also have cases of being shot dead by the police. The shadow of racial discrimination is everywhere in the United States.If, while admiring the good points of the United States, they forget the dark side of the United States, they are either ignorant or have bad intentions. Say "karma" to a gambler There are more than 400,000 Chinese in New York, and Manhattan's Chinatown is world-famous.However, looking at the whole of Manhattan, the messiest, dirtiest and busiest place is also Chinatown.A friend of mine from Shanghai came to New York with a business delegation. As soon as he arrived in Chinatown, he exclaimed: "Oh, my mother, isn't this the southern district of old Shanghai?" Chinatown is the signboard of Chinese people in Manhattan, but This signboard is really dirty and broken.Many Americans who have never been to China think that China is like this.An American who lives near Chinatown said to me, "Why do Chinese people in Chinatown look so poor?" Of course I can answer this question, but I don't think my answer is interesting at all no matter how I answer it.At the beginning of this book, I described Manhattan as a woman lying on her side, and Chinatown was right on her mouth, and the dirty and messy Chinatown was like a gorgeous beauty with Yangzhou fried rice on her lips. Almost all the Chinese bosses in those unremarkable and dilapidated facades in Manhattan are millionaires.In the most law-abiding America, the Chinese still maintain a kind of lawless laxity.In the dilapidated storefronts that line Canal Road, the main thoroughfare in Chinatown, you can buy fake Rolex watches for as little as $10, and the New York City government is turning a blind eye.The veterans in Chinatown, in this seemingly unchanged way for a hundred years, show the chaotic spirit of Chinese culture to tourists from all over the world year after year without shame.There are countless stories about middle-aged men in Manhattan, but they are not the focus of my book.The few short stories I wrote here are just a drop in the bucket, but you can get a glimpse of the hellish scene of Manhattan in the eyes of the Chinese.