Chapter 3 Chapter 3 The Magic of Smiles

Bob peered into the room, his eyes resting on an attractive dark-haired woman.At this time, she seemed to be looking at him with a smile.So, without hesitation, Bob got up immediately, walked into the house, and started talking with the woman.The woman didn't talk much, but she still looked at him with a smile, so Bob continued his conversation.At this time, one of Bob's female friends passed by him and whispered to him, "Forget it, Bob... In her eyes, you are an idiot."Hearing this, Bob was stunned.However, that lovely person was still smiling at him at this moment!In fact, Bob just made a mistake that most men make-misunderstood the meaning of the opposite sex's closed lips when smiling.

When we were young, my grandma often taught us that when we saw outsiders, we must show a "bright smile", "laugh haha" or "grin and show our white teeth".Because, grandma knows that from the perspective of human nature, laughter will have a positive effect on the other party's heart, making the other party like us. Scientific research on smiling has been documented as far back as the 19th century.At the time, the French scientist Guillaume Duchenne de Boulogne used electrodiagnostics and electrical stimulation to distinguish a visceral knowing smile from other kinds.He studied the way facial muscles contracted by analyzing the heads of people who had been decapitated at the guillotine.Duchenne pulled the facial muscles from different angles to classify the facial muscles and the various smiles that were triggered by their contraction.He found that a person's smile is controlled by two sets of muscle tissue: the zygomatic muscle can make the mouth grin slightly, the lips are pulled back, the teeth are exposed, the cheeks are lifted, and then the smile is pulled to the corners of the eyes; and The orbicularis oculi muscle can contract the muscles around the eyes to make the eyes smaller and wrinkles appear at the corners of the eyes, which is what we often call "crow's feet".

Understanding the function of these musculature is important for us to properly understand other people's smiles.Because the musculature, mainly the zygomaticus, is controlled by our consciousness.In other words, when we want to appear friendly or courteous, we can consciously command this part of the muscle to contract, creating a fake smile even when nothing is happening to make us happy.However, the contraction of the orbicularis oculi muscle around the eyes is completely independent of our consciousness, so it must present a genuine smile from the heart.Therefore, if you want to know whether the other person's smile is sincere, you should first observe his eyes and observe whether there are "crow's feet" in the corners of his eyes.If you want to know whether the other person's smile is sincere, you should first observe his eyes and observe whether there are "crow's feet" in the corners of his eyes.

A natural smile creates fine lines around the eyes, whereas on an insincere smile the lines appear only around the mouth. A happy smile not only pulls the lips back and lifts the corners of the mouth, but also causes the muscles around the eyes to contract, while a perfunctory or false smile can only cause the muscles around the lips to contract. Can you tell which picture is the real smile?A false smile can only raise the corners of the mouth, while a genuine smile can cause the contraction of the mouth and eye muscles at the same time Scientists can tell real smiles from fake ones with a system called facial action coding, invented by professors Paul Ekman of the University of California and Wallace Ekman of the University of Kentucky. Dr. Wallace V Friesen.A genuine smile is a subconscious facial movement that is not controlled by the brain, which means that a real smile is the result of voluntary muscle movements.When you feel happy, this signal is sent to the area of ​​the brain that regulates emotions, producing a feeling of comfort and joy.This emotion causes your mouth muscles to contract, your lips to grin slightly, and your cheeks to lift. At the same time, due to the muscle contraction, fine lines will appear in your eyes, and your eyebrows will also sink slightly, resulting in a knowing smile.

Whenever you take a photo, the photographer will ask you to say "eggplant", because the pronunciation of this word can make the zygomaticus muscles contract and achieve the effect of smiling.However, the result of this is that your smile in the photo does not look genuine. In some exaggerated fake smiles, fine lines around the eyes can also appear, because full contraction of the zygomaticus muscle group can lead to contraction of the orbicularis oculi muscle.When the muscles at the zygomatic muscles contract into a ball, fine lines will appear around the eyes due to the extrusion of the zygomatic muscles, which looks like a real smile.However, we can distinguish this fake smile from a real smile by certain characteristics of the smile.When we smile because we are happy, the part of the eyelid between the eyebrow and the eyelid moves down, and the tail of the eyebrow also sinks slightly.However, we can distinguish this fake smile from a real smile by certain characteristics of the smile.When we smile because we are happy, the part of the eyelid between the eyebrow and the eyelid moves down, and the tail of the eyebrow also sinks slightly.

Smiling and laughing are often considered to be a sign of happiness and joy.We all come into this world crying, but after five weeks we learn to smile, and after four to five months we express our emotions by laughing.Babies learn quickly that crying gets our attention and smiling keeps us there.A recent study of our closest relatives, the chimpanzees, suggests that there's more to smiling than just that, and a deeper, fundamental role. In order to intimidate the opponent, the ape will show its lower teeth, so as to warn the opponent that if it does not, it will fight back with its teeth.When encountering the same situation, human beings will also perform extremely similar behaviors, contracting the muscles around the mouth to sink the lower lip that originally covered the lower teeth, exposing the lower teeth.There are two types of chimpanzee smiles: a milder expression, which orangutans usually use to express their deference to their rulers.In this smile, known as the "awe expression," the orangutan's jaw opens to expose the teeth, while the corners of the mouth naturally pull back, much like a human smile.

Another kind of smile is a "playful expression"-the teeth are exposed, the corners of the mouth and eyes are slightly raised, and various sounds are released from the throat at the same time, which is very similar to the scene when humans laugh.The above two expressions are a method used by orangutans to express their obedience.The first kind of smile is actually telling the other person "I will not cause you any danger, because as you can see, I am afraid of you", while the other smile is trying to say "I will not cause you any danger." Threats because, as you can see, I'm nothing but a playful kid."

The primate's "awe expression" (left) and "playful expression" (right) What is its expression trying to express?Happy, submissive, or angry enough to tear you apart? Chimpanzees show the same expression when they are attacked or injured, because they are anxious and afraid.In such a case, the zygomaticus-based muscle group will contract, causing the corners of the mouth to move back or sink horizontally, but the orbicularis muscle will not move.When a person is walking on a crowded street and nearly dies under the wheel, he will show the same expression of nervousness, because it is a natural reaction of fear.The person will grin and say, "Yeah, I almost went to God!"

For humans, the function of a smile is actually the same as that of a primate smile.We use our smiles to tell others that we are not doing them any harm and that we want them to accept us personally.For humans, the function of a smile is actually the same as that of a primate smile.We use our smiles to tell others that we are not doing them any harm and that we want them to accept us personally. Powerful people like Vladimir Putin, James Cagney, Clint Eastwood and Margaret Thatcher, and Charles Bronson often make people Feeling ambitious, or looking stern and solemn.Their smiles are rare to see.In fact, they do this just to make themselves look more majestic.

A study in the courtroom showed that judges tended to give lighter sentences to prisoners who smiled during their defense, while those who were expressionless during their defense did not enjoy this preferential treatment.Therefore, it is still right to listen to grandma! The most striking characteristic of a smile is its contagiousness.When you smile at someone, real or not, the other person will automatically return a sweet smile to you. Professor Wulf Dinberg of Uppsala University in Sweden conducted an experiment to reveal to us how the subconscious mind controls our facial muscles to move.In the experiment, Professor Dingberg asked 120 volunteers to watch some pictures with happy and angry expressions, and recorded various movements of their facial muscles, and then with the help of instruments, finally obtained various signals emitted by muscle fibers. electronic signal.In the experiment, volunteers were asked by the staff to make various facial movements such as frowning, smiling or blank expression in response to the pictures they saw.Sometimes, they made facial movements that were the exact opposite of what they saw in the picture, such as frowning at a smile, or smiling at the frowning person in the picture.The results of the experiment showed that none of the volunteers could fully control their facial muscles.If the picture was of an angry man, it was easy for the volunteers to make an angry frown, but it was a little harder for the volunteers to smile in the same situation.Although the volunteers tried their best to control their natural reactions to these pictures, the movement of facial muscles betrayed their true thoughts.Even with intentional restraint, they still made facial movements that resembled the expressions they saw.

Professor Ruth Campbell of London College believes that there is a kind of "reflex neuron" in our brain.It not only prompts the brain to recognize facial expressions and movements, but also instructs the facial muscles to make facial movements similar to the expressions seen.In other words, we will automatically replicate any expression we see on our face, whether we are aware of it or not. That's why smiling is so magical, and why you need to put it on, even when you don't want to.Because your smile will directly affect how others perceive you and determine how they respond to you. Scientific research confirms that the more you smile, the friendlier others will treat you. In our 30-year follow-up of salespeople and negotiators, we found that smiling at the right time (for example, during the initial stages of a negotiation, when both parties are evaluating each other) has a positive effect on both parties, resulting in So that the negotiating parties can obtain greater benefits on higher turnover.In our 30-year follow-up of salespeople and negotiators, we found that smiling at the right time (for example, during the initial stages of a negotiation, when both parties are evaluating each other) has a positive effect on both parties , so that the negotiating parties can obtain greater benefits on higher turnover. In our minds, the ability to decipher the code of a smile and help us gain our right to exist may seem like two separate things.For our ancestors, however, things were different. In essence, smiling is actually sending a signal of humility and obedience to the other party.Therefore, whenever a stranger approached, our ancestors relied on this signal to judge whether the visitor was an enemy or a friend, and those uninvited guests with expressionless faces were often regarded as enemies and died. In essence, smiling is actually sending a signal of humility and obedience to the other party. do you recognize the actor this is When you saw the photo on the left, you must have recognized him as Hugh Grant.If I ask, how emotional does Grant look in the photo?Most people would probably reply that the wide smile makes him look relaxed and happy.However, when we make some small changes to the photo, as shown in the picture on the right, the answer to the question is quite different. We modified Grant's eyes by cutting and pasting, and as you can see, the result is a slightly creepy photo.However, even through such an upside-down picture, you can still clearly recognize him as Hugh Grant.Not only that, but your brain is able to recognize the manipulated smile in a picture like this at a glance.This shows the power of a smile. We’ve mentioned that most of us can’t tell the difference between real and fake smiles, and most of us get a sense of satisfaction from seeing someone smile at us, without ever thinking about whether the smile is real or fake.Because of the relaxing and hostile effect of smiling, most people often mistake it for a liar.A study by Paul Ekman showed that when people deliberately lie to cover up the truth, most people (especially men) look more serious than usual.Ekman believes this is because liars are largely aware of the fact that most people associate smiling with lying, so they consciously refrain from smiling.The liar's smile appeared faster and lasted longer than the real one, making it appear as if they were wearing a smiling mask. The liar's smile appeared faster and lasted longer than the real one, making it appear as if they were wearing a smiling mask.If it's a fake smile, since both hemispheres of our brain want to make the smile look more real, under the control of our consciousness, the expressions on the left side of our face and the right side are not exactly the same, one of them Sideways expressions will appear more exaggerated.Most of the neurons that control facial expressions are concentrated in the right side of the brain, the cortex, which can only send instructions to the left side of our body.As a result, when we deliberately try to put a smile on our face, the smile on the left side of the face is more pronounced than the one on the right side. But if it is a sincere smile from the heart, since there is no need to deliberately pretend, the instructions sent by our left and right brains to the sides of the body are symmetrical, and there will be no difference in the smiles on the faces on both sides. . When people lie, smiles appear more pronounced on the left side of the face than on the right In 1986, the Australian Customs once commissioned us to help them create a system to improve their efficiency in detecting smuggled goods and drug cases.Until then, law enforcement officials believed that people tended to smile more often when they were lying or when they were under stress.However, our research on liars in movies shows exactly the opposite result: no matter what the culture is, when people lie, they smile less than usual , or don't smile at all.And those innocent people actually smile more often when they tell the truth.This is because, in essence, smiling is rooted in people’s compromising and submissive psychology. Therefore, those honest and innocent people will try to calm down the excitement of the customs anti-smuggling officers with a sincere smile, while those who smuggle with smuggling are out of resistance. People who are professional will reduce smiling and other body movements to avoid revealing themselves. In the same way, when you are driving to a traffic light, a police car comes over and stops next to your car-at this time, even if you have not violated the traffic rules, the appearance of the police car will make you feel uneasy Anxiety.Then, reflexively, you immediately pile up a smile all over your face, which is strong evidence that smiling can be completely controlled by consciousness.Therefore, we should consider the meaning behind the smile in light of the background at that time. The following is my summary and analysis of several types of smiles that are common in our daily life. 1. pursed lips and smiled When a woman smiles with her lips closed, it means Seeing She Has Secrets She Doesn't Want To Share With You When people smile like this, the lips are closed and stretched back in a straight line so that the teeth behind the lips are completely invisible.The inner meaning of this kind of smile is that the smiler is hiding some unknown secret, or that he does not want to share his thoughts or opinions with the other party.This is what women usually show when they meet someone they don't like and don't want the other person to know it. To other women, this smile is actually a very obvious sign of rejection.To other women, this smile is actually a very obvious sign of rejection.However, most men rarely understand the deep meaning behind the smile. For example, a woman might say something like, "She's a pretty competent woman who knows exactly what she wants" when talking about another woman, and then she'll smile with her lips pursed.In fact, her sincere words should be: "I think she is an ambitious woman, she is simply a little goblin who loves the limelight!" Magazines often feature pictures of successful people.From their photos, we can also see the same smile, and that smile seems to say to us, "I have mastered the secret of success, and guess what it is?" In these character interviews, most of the successful men interviewed will talk about some basic principles of how to achieve success, but few of them will disclose the specific methods and details of their own success. In contrast to them, Richard Branson is often grinning, and is also willing to share with you the secret of his success, because he knows that almost no one will follow his way. Tony Blair and his wife Cherie Blair face all the news and news about Cherie's last pregnancy with a 'lips smile' 2. crooked smile On a distorted smiling face, the expressions on both sides of the face are just opposite.In the picture A below, the right hemibrain issued an instruction to raise the left eyebrow of the character in the picture. At the same time, due to the contraction of the left zygomatic muscle, a smile appeared on his left cheek. expression.However, under the order of the left hemisphere, the eyebrow on the right side sinks due to the contraction of the orbicularis oculi muscle, and the corner of the mouth and the entire right cheek also move down slightly, showing a frowning expression. If you place a double-sided mirror vertically in the middle of illustration A, so that the expressions of the faces on both sides are reflected in the mirror at 90 degrees, you will find that there are two completely different expressions on both sides of the mirror.The reflected expression on the right side of the face is a grin as shown in picture B; while in the picture C of the reflected expression on the left side, we see an angry, frowning expression. ABC This kind of crooked smile is the patent of Westerners, and most of it is the result of human brain consciousness, and there is only one message it conveys—sarcasm. 3. Laugh out loud This smile looks a little unnatural.When a person laughs, the mouth is open, the chin is lowered, and the corners of the mouth are raised, giving people a very happy feeling.This smile looks a little unnatural.When a person laughs, the mouth is open, the chin is lowered, and the corners of the mouth are raised, giving people a very happy feeling. The clowns who opposed Batman in the "Batman" series of movies, as well as Bill Clinton and Hugh Grant, they all love this kind of smile very much, and like to use it to create a happy atmosphere among the audience and arouse their imagination. The desire to laugh, or to win more votes for yourself. Faking a smile with a large open mouth Laughers use a drooping jaw and an exaggerated smile to fake happiness 4. A sideways smile When smiling, the lips are tightly closed, and at the same time, the head is lowered, tilted to one side, and the eyes are squinted upwards. Such a smile can not help but remind people of the playfulness and hidden thoughts of youth.No matter when and where, women like to show this kind of shy and shy smile in front of the opposite sex, because doing so can easily trigger the protective desire in a man, and make him think of protecting her from harm and caring for her.The late Princess Diana conquered the world with this smile. This kind of smile of Princess Diana will make men have a desire to protect her, and it will also make women like her.For men, this kind of playful and somewhat shy smile is a very provocative signal and a hint to encourage them to "go forward", so most women will use this when courting. Smiling is no surprise.Now, that smile often appears on Prince William's face.In addition to the role of winning people's hearts, such a playful smile may also remind people of his biological mother, Princess Diana. There seemed to be something magical about Princess Diana's playful smile.Anyone who has seen her smile, no matter men or women, will bow down under her pomegranate skirt 5. George W. Bush's American Smile George W. Bush often maintains a goofy grin on his face.Ray Beauwist found that this middle-class American smile is more common in cities like Atlanta, Louisville, Memphis, Nashville, and most of Texas.Bush is from Texas, and the frequency of smiles in Texas is probably the highest among all states in the United States.Therefore, in Texas, if a person is always without a smile, others are likely to ask him if "something is not happy."In New York, however, a person who is always jovial is likely to be asked, "What's so funny?" President Jimmy Carter of the United States also comes from the south that admires smiles, and his smile often makes those politicians in the north worried, because they are always worried that there is something he knows that they don't. Keep smiling and everyone will wonder what you are smiling about. When you laugh out loud, the loud laughter is always with you. Over time, the hearty laughter becomes your symbol and part of who you are.Laughing out loud can not only make the atmosphere more harmonious and win you more friends, but it is also good for your body and mind, and can prolong your life.When you laugh out loud, the loud laughter is always with you. Over time, the hearty laughter becomes your symbol and part of who you are.Laughing out loud can not only make the atmosphere more harmonious and win you more friends, but it is also good for your body and mind, and can prolong your life.When we laugh, it has a knock-on effect in every organ in our body, and it works wonderfully.Because of laughter, our breathing speeds up, so that the diaphragm in our chest is fully stretched, and the muscles in the neck, abdomen, face and shoulders are also exercised.At the same time, laughing causes us to take in more oxygen, increasing the amount of oxygen in the blood.This can not only accelerate the recovery of the disease, promote blood circulation, but also promote the expansion of blood vessels, making it close to the surface of the skin.This is why people blush when they laugh.In addition, laughing can also slow down the heart rate, dilate blood vessels, increase appetite, and burn fat and calories. Neuroscientist Henry Rubinstein found that laughing out loud for just one minute puts a person in a relaxed state for the next 45 minutes.Professor William Fry of Stanford University pointed out in one of his reports that laughing for 100 minutes is equivalent to jogging on a treadmill for 10 minutes of aerobic exercise.Neuroscientist Henry Rubinstein found that laughing out loud for just one minute puts a person in a relaxed state for the next 45 minutes.Professor William Fry of Stanford University pointed out in one of his reports that laughing for 100 minutes is equivalent to jogging on a treadmill for 10 minutes of aerobic exercise.From a medical point of view, if someone curses your smile, they are cursing your health. The older we get, the more serious we take life.An adult laughs an average of 15 times a day, while a preschooler laughs about 400 times a day on average. Studies have shown that when a person smiles or laughs, whether he really feels particularly happy or not, the "happy space" in the left hemisphere of his brain will be excited, and brain waves will become active as a result.Professor Richard Davidson, who specializes in psychology and psychiatry at Wisconsin State University in Madison, has conducted numerous studies on smiles.In one of the studies, Professor Davidson connected the head of the experimenter to an electroencephalograph, and at the same time let the experimenter watch a comedy movie, and then used the instrument to measure the activity of their brain waves.It was found that smiling made their brain waves in the happy space jump continuously with a larger amplitude.Therefore, Professor Davidson confirmed his point of view: consciously smiling and laughing can promote brain activity and make people feel happy spontaneously. Arnie Kahn, a professor of psychology at North Carolina State University, found that humor can have a positive effect, thereby counteracting the adverse reactions caused by stress.Kahn conducted an experiment with people who had already experienced early symptoms of depression.In the experiment, these people were divided into two groups and watched different TV videos for three weeks.The group who watched the comedy showed significantly greater improvement in symptoms after the experiment than the group who watched the non-comedy video.At the same time, Professor Kahn also found that those with ulcers frowned significantly more frequently than those without ulcers.If you find yourself frowning, you can put your hand on your forehead while talking, and over time, you can get rid of this bad habit. Robert Bnovin is a professor of psychology at Maryland State University in Baltimore.He found that human laughter differs from that of closely related primate relatives.Orangutan laughter sounds like a gasp, inhaling and exhaling for only one laugh at a time, and it's this one-to-one relationship between breathing rate and vocalization that keeps most primates from opening their mouths say.When humans started to walk upright, their upper body was liberated, and they no longer had to bear the burden of carrying weight as before, which enabled humans to better control the frequency and speed of their breathing.Therefore, human beings can divide an exhalation into several processes to complete, and can adjust the airflow during the completion process, not only laughing, but also talking.Orangutans also have their own concept of language, but their physical limitations prevent them from expressing it in vocal words.Since humans can walk upright, we enjoy great freedom in the authority to make all kinds of sounds, including good speech and hearty laughter. Laughter can stimulate the body to secrete natural painkillers and a chemical substance that "makes us feel more comfortable", namely endorphins. In a good mood.When Norman Cosens was diagnosed with myelitis, a debilitating disease, doctors told him there was no cure and no cure, so the sufferers could only live in endless pain Waiting for death to come.After hearing the doctor's death sentence, Cosens checked into a hotel and rented all the comedies he could, including the Marx Brothers farce "Airplane" and Curley Howard, among others. "The Living Treasures Trio" and so on. He watched these comedies over and over again and laughed out loud at the antics and humorous dialogue time and time again.After six months of this self-laughter therapy, when he went to the hospital for a check-up, the doctors were amazed to find that he was completely cured of his incurable disease - the inflammation was gone!This astonishing result eventually led to the publication of Cosens's book "Laughing Out the Sickness" and sparked a storm of research on endorphins in the medical world.Endorphins are chemicals secreted by the brain when a person laughs, and their composition is similar to that of morphine and heroin.Endorphins have calming and analgesic effects, and can also promote the formation of the immune system in the human body.This also explains why happy people rarely get sick, while those who are depressed and complain all the time are often troubled by illness. From a psychological and physical point of view, laughing and crying are actually two closely related brothers.Think about the last time someone told you a joke and you couldn't stop laughing.How do you feel after laughing?Do you feel that every organ and every nerve in your body has a numb feeling?That's because, when you laugh heartily, your brain secretes endorphins, which gives you a "natural pleasure".How do you feel after laughing?Do you feel that every organ and every nerve in your body has a numb feeling?That's because, when you laugh heartily, your brain secretes endorphins, which gives you a "natural pleasure".This feeling is almost exactly the same high that drug addicts get after taking drugs.Those who cannot laugh like normal people due to physical or psychological reasons often use drugs and alcohol to numb themselves when encountering setbacks or difficulties, so as to obtain the pleasure similar to that produced by endorphins feel.Alcohol can make people relax, increase the number of laughs, thereby stimulating the secretion of endorphins.This is the reason why those who behaved well will become a different person after drinking and laugh significantly more than before; it also explains why those who were originally unhappy will drink Then become more depressed, or become violent. People drink and take drugs just to feel the pleasure of ordinary people after laughing. Paul Ekman has discovered that one of the reasons we are attracted to smiling or laughing faces is that such expressions can affect the activity of our autonomic nervous system (also known as the autonomic nervous system).When we see someone else smile, we can't help but smile too.Then, in this process, our pituitary gland will release endorphins.If you are surrounded by a group of people who are sad and complaining all day long, you will also be affected by them over time, feeling depressed, depressed, and frowning all day long. Working in an unhappy atmosphere is bad for your health. Most jokes tell nothing more than stories about someone's suffering.In fact, the unexpected ending of a story often gives our brains a "shock" and we laugh and make a chimpanzee-like sound to warn others to be wary Similar dangers may be encountered in the future. Even though we all know that most of the stories told by jokes are fiction, we still treat it as if it were real, releasing endorphins and adjusting our emotions in the process of laughing.If the story in the joke is true, we are likely to cry because of it.However, the pituitary gland still releases endorphins when we cry.Laughing and crying actually go hand in hand, one is always accompanied by the other.Therefore, in some very serious emotional conflicts, such as when someone cannot accept the reality mentally after hearing the news of another person's death, it is likely to laugh first and then cry bitterly. Human laughter was originally an early warning sign in primates In the 1980s, many American hospitals introduced the concept of "rooms full of laughter" to treat diseases.Based on the experiences of Norman Cosens and other research on laughter by Dr. Patch Adams, these hospitals cleared out a room and filled it with all kinds of joke books, comedy movies And witty tapes, with occasional visits from comedians and clowns.Patients come here daily for 30 to 60 minutes of laughter therapy.The results of the treatment were quite astonishing. The patient's health condition improved significantly, and the average hospital stay per patient was significantly shorter than the hospital's previous record.At the same time, with the establishment of the "room full of laughter", the use of painkillers in the hospital has also been greatly reduced, and the situation of patients who do not cooperate with treatment due to pain has also greatly improved.Therefore, we can say that the medical profession has now attached great importance to the role of laughter in the prevention and control of diseases. People who laugh live longer. 罗伯特·布诺温发现，人在群居生活时欢笑的次数是独处时的30倍。同时，他还发现，与各种笑话以及有趣的故事相比，和他人建立友好的关系这一目的与笑声的联系似乎更加紧密。罗伯特·布诺温发现，人在群居生活时欢笑的次数是独处时的30倍。同时，他还发现，与各种笑话以及有趣的故事相比，和他人建立友好的关系这一目的与笑声的联系似乎更加紧密。在引发我们大笑的各种原因当中，只有15%来自于笑话。布诺温通过实验发现，实验参与者处于孤单的环境中时，更多的人会选择自言自语，而不是哈哈大笑。布诺温通过录像记录下了实验参与者在三种不同的环境中观看喜剧电影的情景：独自一人、与同性的陌生人一起以及与同性朋友一起。 在让我们发笑的各种原因当中，只有15%的原因与笑话有关。想与他人沟通，建立联系，才是我们大多数笑容的真正原因和目的。 虽然试验参与者所观看的电影在滑稽程度上并没有太大的区别，但是三组试验者哈哈大笑的次数却有明显的差别。独自一人观看电影的试验者笑的比两人观看电影的试验者（无论陪同的是朋友，还是陌生人）都要少，而且他们笑的频率和时间也明显要少很多。在人际交往当中，发生大笑的频率会更高。所有这些数据和结果都证明了一个事实： 社交环境中人越多，人们大笑的次数和时间就越多，越长。社交环境中人越多，人们大笑的次数和时间就越多，越长。 辛辛那提州州立大学商业管理学院专攻市场营销的卡伦·麦克雷特教授发现，在广告中添加幽默元素可以提高产品的销售额。麦克雷特教授发现，广告中的幽默元素能够使顾客更容易接受其中所宣传的内容，而且可以增加广告内容的可信度。所以，一则由名人出演，且添加了幽默元素的广告会更加容易获得观众的芳心。 人们用嘴角上扬的表情来表达心中的快乐之情，与此相反，当人们不开心的时候，他们就会表现出一种嘴角下垂的不高兴的表情，也就是我们常说的撇嘴。只要感到不开心，沮丧，绝望，愤怒或紧张，人们的脸上就会浮现出这样的撇嘴表情。然而，我想告诉有这一习惯的人们一个不幸的消息：如果一个人总是把这种负面、消极的表情写在脸上，久而久之，他的嘴角就会永远保持一种下垂的状态，看起来总是一副没精打采的沮丧样子。 当这样的表情定格在他的脸上之后，在此后的日子里，这个人的脸看起来就会像是一只牛头犬。研究表明，当我们看见有这种面部表情的人从远处走来的时候，大多数人都会尽量避免与他进行眼神的交流；当他走近时，人们则会刻意地避开他，减少与他的身体接触。因此，假如你发现撇嘴已经成了你的习惯性表情，那么，你就应该有意地增加自己微笑的频率。这样做不仅可以使你摆脱在后半生被人看成是一只愤怒的牛头犬的命运，而且还会让你也变得更加积极乐观，开朗向上。如此一来，当小孩们看见你时，就不会因为把你当成是一头坏脾气的老牛而吓得哇哇乱叫了。嘴角下垂的撇嘴表情会像雕刻一样，成为你脸上永久的印记。直觉告诉我们，应当远离那些带有撇嘴表情的人 波士顿大学的马文·海切特和玛丽安·拉·弗朗斯进行了一项研究。在面对主管和上级时，无论是在气氛友好的前提下，还是在不友好的紧张气氛当中，下级人员都会面带微笑；而主管和上级人员在下级面前，只会在气氛友好的前提下才会露出微笑。其结果显示，在面对主管和上级时，无论是在气氛友好的前提下，还是在不友好的紧张气氛当中，下级人员都会面带微笑；而主管和上级人员在下级面前，只会在气氛友好的前提下才会露出微笑。 这项研究还表明，无论是在社交还是在职场交往中，女性微笑的频率远高于男性，而这也就在无形中使微笑的女性在面对不苟言笑的男性时居于弱势或下属的地位。有的人认为，正是因为女性笑得更多，所以长久以来她们才会一直被置于男性之下的从属地位。不过，有研究显示，早在出生八周之时，女婴笑的次数就远远多于男婴。所以，微笑这一特征很可能是天生的，而非后天培养所致。最合理的解释可能是，在人类进化的过程中，女性多扮演安抚者或抚育者的角色，而微笑正好与这一类角色的特性和功能相吻合。不过，这并不代表女性就无法像男性那样威风凛凛，具备至高无上的权威性，只不过过多的微笑会让女性看起来显得更加柔弱恭顺而使其权威性略打折扣而已。 女性之所以会笑得更多，大概是由其大脑所决定的。 加州大学洛杉矶分校的南希·亨利博士是一名社会心理学家。他将女性的微笑比作“女性的本色徽章”，她们通常用它来安抚比自己强壮的男性。南希博士研究表情，发现在社会交往中女性微笑的时间占总活动时间的87%，而男性的比例则只有67%；而且面对异性的笑脸，女性回之以微笑的可能性比男性高出了26个百分点。 此外，南希博士还开展了一项实验，她要求257名实验参与者在看过了15张表情各异的女性照片之后，对照片中人物的魅力进行评判。所给照片中人物的表情各异，有的很开心，有的很悲伤，还有一些则面无表情。实验结果显示，表情沮丧的女性的魅力评分最低。照片中，女性如果面无微笑，就会被认为是不高兴的标志；而同样情况之下，男性则会被看做是权利的象征。因此，我送给女性朋友的关于如何微笑的建议就是： 在与处于优势支配地位的男性交往的过程中，应当尽量减少微笑的次数，或者根据对方的微笑频率来调整自己的微笑次数。在与处于优势支配地位的男性交往的过程中，应当尽量减少微笑的次数，或者根据对方的微笑频率来调整自己的微笑次数。在此，我还想提醒诸位男子汉们，在你们与异性的谈话过程中，如果你想让自己的话听起来更具说服力，就需要随时谨记：无论何时何地，都要多多微笑。 罗伯特·布诺温发现，在恋爱的过程当中，大多数的笑声都来源于女性的一方，而男性则显少微笑。事实上，在婚姻问题当中，笑声是一种衡量夫妻关系是否融洽、婚姻是否成功的标准。简单一点儿说，丈夫让妻子笑得越多，在妻子心中丈夫的魅力和吸引力就越大。这是因为，让他人发笑的能力常常会被认为是力量和权威的标志，而女性则通常更加青睐于那些强势的男性。不过，在男性的眼中，更可爱、更有魅力的却往往是那些温婉恭顺的女性。同时，布诺温还发现，下属常常会用笑声来取悦上级，而上级则会让下属发笑（不过，他自己却并不笑）来维系自身的优势。 研究表明，女性会在自己认为有吸引力的男性面前笑声连连，而男性则通常被那些在自己面前微笑的女性所吸引。 这也就解释了为何女性在寻觅伴侣的过程中会优先考虑那些有幽默感的男人了。如果一个女人说“他真风趣，我们整个晚上都在哈哈大笑”，她的言下之意通常是，那个男人整个晚上都在逗她笑，而她则被他的幽默所打动，笑了一个晚上。 从男人的立场出发，如果他说一个女人很有幽默感，他的意思并不是说她很会说笑话，而是说她会在他讲笑话的时候哈哈大笑。 从更深一层的角度来思考，男人们似乎也相当清楚在与异性的交往中幽默的重要性，因此，为了巩固自己在异性心目中的形象和地位，他们常常会将大量的时间花在与其他男人比赛说笑话上。而且，当某一个男人独霸讲笑话或开玩笑的特权时，许多男人都会因此而对他心生厌恶。尤其是当有异性在场且还被他逗得大笑的时候，往往在这样的情况下，厌恶之情就会升级为愤怒。在他们看来，眼前这个家伙简直就是蠢货一个，说的都是些无聊且一点不好笑的故事，虽然在场的异性都被他逗得乐不可支。所以，男人们需要明白的一点就是，对大多数女性而言，男性的魅力与他们的幽默程度成正比。不过，幸运的是，后天的学习和实践完全可以使任何男人都变得幽默起来。 一个女人眼中的男人。虽然左右两张图片为同一人，但是在女性看来，能让她们面露微笑的是右图中的男性，而不是左图总结 当你向他人露出笑容的同时，对方通常都会回以一个同样灿烂的笑脸。如此一来，出于因果效应的作用，双方心中便都会自然生出一种对对方的好感。研究证实，会面时，双方如果都面露笑容，就能够使绝大多数的会谈都能进行得更加顺利，会谈的时间也会相对延长，而且会谈最后通常也能获得对双方都更加有利的结果，使双方关系更进一步。而想获得这所有的一切，你需要做的就是慷慨地展露自己的笑脸，并且让微笑成为自己的一种生活习惯。 最后，我想告诉大家的是，有迹象表明，微笑和笑声能够建立起一道天然的免疫屏障，帮助我们的身体对抗外来的各种疾病，促进伤病的痊愈。除此之外，微笑还是我们生活和工作的好伙伴，能够帮助我们推销自己的各种观点和想法，为我们赢得更多的朋友，使我们的生活更加多姿多彩。 请记住，幽默是解决一切问题的万应良药。请记住，幽默是解决一切问题的万应良药。