Chapter 7 Chapter 6: Psychological Manipulation Techniques to Weaken the Opponent's Confidence

We believe that no one will intentionally miss an appointment or be late for an appointment. Most people do it because of some unavoidable things. At this time, as long as the other party apologizes a little, that's fine.However, in order to negotiate something, you must strive to take the initiative and make the most of this unintentional mistake of the other party. At this time, if you use the straight-to-the-point method, say: "What's wrong, I have been waiting for more than half an hour!" This effect is not good, it seems too explicit, and it is easy to make the other party resist, which is not conducive to subsequent negotiations.

It’s best not to mention anything about being late, and directly get into the topic before the other party has time to apologize. Even if the other party explains the reason for being late, they will deliberately show an attitude of not paying attention to it, or do not say a word at all.This makes the other party even more uneasy, so your mental state has the upper hand when bargaining. If the other party completely ignores the mistakes or weaknesses that you have already realized, you will have the illusion that your personality is underestimated.This is a common psychological characteristic of human beings.When I come to discussions and negotiations with some anxiety, I always think about this mistake in my heart, and I can’t concentrate. I always feel guilty and aggrieved for my lateness and the attitude of the other party.At this time, things that could have been striven for are often not wanted to be mentioned.Therefore, when dealing with people, you must arrive earlier than the appointed time, so that even if the other party comes on time, they will feel sorry at first.

In the unit, the subordinates often sent some documents to be approved, but the superiors did not read them on the spot, nor did they speak. They just nodded and accepted the documents with a smile. Subordinates who send documents may feel uneasy when they see the boss's unpredictable attitude.You are still in this state of mind if you have done nothing wrong, and it will be even more unbearable if you have done something wrong. "The aliens are attacking Chicago..." The announcer's voice immediately put the entire United States in a state of terror.This is what happened after HG Wells' book "Space Battleship" was changed to a radio series.The show aired a segment every day, and many people who hadn't listened to it before just heard the segment of the aliens attacking the United States that day, and ran out of their homes, stores, and even bathrooms in panic for a moment.

This situation has a lot to do with radio stations.The announcer of the station first talked about the flying unknown monster, then talked about where it went, how the onlookers were attacked, etc., and then announced the shocking words of attacking the United States.Such a little bit of exaggeration of the horror atmosphere has indeed achieved a shocking effect. "Terror" is the feeling of dread about something; "uneasiness" is the worry and fear of something that might happen in the future.Therefore, raise small questions one after another that can cause terror, so that the other party will feel uneasy.The same is true for some movies that reflect the underworld. The beginning is bank robbery, escape, speeding, etc., and the end is a noisy gun battle, and the duel scene is always arranged at the end.

One of the techniques that men use to make girlfriends is to say some beautiful words to women, such as "Your face is so beautiful", "Your eyes are so charming", etc., so repeatedly emphasizing the charm of a certain part of a girl's body, she will It will produce the feeling that the whole person is being praised, and the vigilance will gradually relax. This kind of suggestion or persuasion method is called "partial stimulation" effect, which is very effective in many situations, because everyone has the habit of amplifying themselves. Using the stimulation effect to deal with opponents is to repeatedly attack small problems. Although this method is simple, it can shake the opponent's psychology and change the tendency of the group psychology.

At the general meeting of shareholders of a certain company, all the agendas were going smoothly. At the end, a shareholder Mr. Wang suddenly stood up and said, "Why is the general manager sitting cross-legged at such an important meeting?" The general manager hurriedly let go of his feet and sat upright. Mr. Wang continued to challenge: "You can only change your attitude after being reminded by others. Will you be qualified for the position of general manager?" Of course, such making things difficult will not have an important impact on the shareholders, but it has caused the general manager and his subordinates to have a great psychological shake. The impression of Mr. Wang is deeply imprinted in their minds. Get a lot of convenience.

Why do the general manager and his subordinates feel shaken when they are attacked by such trivial things?Because the general manager who attended the shareholders' meeting was very well prepared for the company's business policy and business performance, it was really unexpected when he was attacked by improper sitting posture, especially the second sentence directly asked about the qualifications of the general manager , the mind cannot but be shaken and at a loss.It's like a boxer's match. After an unguarded part is attacked, it will soon be defeated, and the more intellectuals, the weaker their psychological tolerance to this sudden attack.

Conversely, if you do not succumb to this kind of attack, don't argue about small issues, it is better to ignore them or deal with the past with humor and wit. One may notice that politicians avoid discussing very detailed issues because they are psychological experts on the subject. Zeno, a Greek philosopher, had a famous saying: "A flying arrow does not move." Because at a certain moment, an arrow in flight seems to be standing still. move.This statement sounds plausible, and it creates a sense of confusion in people's psychology.Some people speak clearly and in line with common sense, and it is difficult for others to refute even if they know that their statement is not true.This kind of psychological tactics is also a kind of sophistry.

Socrates once said: "I understand a lot, but I don't understand anything." People understand something, but they actually understand it to a different degree, and they seldom reflect on this level of understanding, even if they reflect on it. Not tight.Before the end of the meeting, the host always said: "Okay, we all know." But this is only approved on the surface, and some of them may seem to understand. The reason why it is difficult to refute well-organized words is that you have been listening to the other party's theory, creating a feeling of understanding, and sometimes inserting a few different opinions.This kind of conversation is usually relatively abstract. If we scrutinize and discuss more specific examples, we will soon reveal flaws, so we'd better adopt questioning tactics at this time.For example, someone said: "We should take constructive steps..."

Then ask him: "What are the constructive steps you speak of, more specifically?" Said that we did not understand what he said, and asked him to give an example.In other words, don't accept abstract remarks easily, but understand thoroughly through specific explanations.After we have made such a question, it will be difficult for the other party to speak smoothly, the train of thought will be interrupted, and the mood may also be restless. A more direct expression of this disruptive technique is to say: "I don't understand." Especially when talking to experts, this method can regain some psychological advantages, and if you don't know how to pretend to understand, you can only be in a passive position of being beaten.

Mr. Nomura, the coach of the Nankai baseball team in Japan, was a very accomplished pitcher when he was young. He often used technical and psychological tactics to eliminate his opponents.Once, he played against a famous home run hitter who was also a model jealous husband.Seeing that the situation was not good for the South China Sea team, Nomura said, "Who is the man sitting next to your wife having an intimate conversation?" Then he shot three bad balls in succession, each time the tone was aggravated, and the opponent's psychology was shaken involuntarily. Nomura then threw three good balls with all his strength, and pretended to say helplessly: "You probably don't serve your wife enough!" The opponent finally had a mental breakdown and was eliminated. Inducing your opponent to slump is an important psychological tactic in order to win. For example, intentionally criticize and say: "Why are you so stupid, after playing for several years, you still look like someone who just came in?" Saying this kind of thing can hurt the other party's emotions, but sometimes it can also make him stronger and perform beyond his level.So it's not good to attack too directly.But if you say "it's bad that you smoke so much" or "you don't seem to get along well with your wife recently", etc., although it has nothing to do with the competition, but if you say such things that affect the other party's psychology one after another, the other party will feel embarrassed If you lose your temper immediately, you can't pretend that you didn't hear it. Anyway, it's very complicated psychologically.If this goes on, the mood will naturally be bad, the unknown fire will burn more and more, and the energy will always be unable to concentrate. At this time, the victory or defeat is already obvious. In daily life, it is most difficult for us to persuade people who can talk freely.If you use the general method, you will hit the opponent's plan.But blindly keeping silent is also tantamount to admitting that the other party has the upper hand.Therefore, measures should be taken to pull the other party into your own orbit.To deal with such a difficult character, first interfere with his decision-making.The best way to do this is to interrupt by saying "that makes sense" or "Is that so" very frequently, or deliberately focus on other things, or deliberately look aside.These actions will interrupt his thinking logic, and the result will be full of mistakes, thus giving him a chance to refute. This psychological technique is often used in Western parliamentary debates.What officials say in parliament is prepared in advance, and it is not easy for a member of parliament to destroy his logical thinking.An experienced congressman will agree with everything the official says, and will take the opportunity to use means to interrupt his series of topics, break down his principles, and speak the truth.This method is especially effective when dealing with eloquent and eloquent people. In society, there are many people who have considered for a long time but hesitate to reach a conclusion; in negotiations, indecisive people are the most difficult to deal with.In the modern society where time is like gold, if you are late, you will lose a great opportunity.What is the cause of indecision?One of them can be said to be that "not yet conscious" and "reconscious" are difficult to separate. "There is still time to think about it", "If you think about it again, there will be a better result", "Wait a little longer", this kind of anticipation always prevents them from making a decision immediately, and at this time it should be hinted that they will not be able to decide if they spend more time Nothing could have been better. Regardless of whether we have time to think or not, we have to give the other party an "ultimatum" to make him understand that the better result he expected does not exist.For those who are hesitant, it is the most effective way to tell him "this is the last chance" to crush his "not yet conscious" and "reconscious". Human beings have a fear of the word "last". Therefore, the slogan of the big auction will definitely say "Last Chance", even those who are very hesitant will be tempted when they see it.And the more hesitant this person is, the more effective his words will be. Some people are quite decisive, and they would not be confused by these words, but under the hype of advertising slogans, they still cannot resist the temptation, it is useless to wait, it is better to make up their minds early. Penalty kicks are the most exciting moment in a football game. Many athletes warn themselves: Don't shoot anti-aircraft guns, but they shoot high instead.Maradona and other stars believe that when taking a penalty kick, first determine a certain angle to shoot, and then shoot without hesitation, this method is usually very effective.A parent saw that his son didn't work hard, so he said, "You don't know how to recite this Tang poem, do you?" Then read it aloud to yourself.The child suddenly became competitive, and worked hard to memorize two poems. Sure enough, he gradually liked learning. The above examples tell us that human psychology is infinitely mysterious. If you tell someone not to do something and take prohibitive measures, he will try it instead. For example, if you tell your roommates not to open a certain drawer of yours, then someone will want to open it to see what secrets you have when you are not around.It's an incredible primal instinct.Many men and women in love are not as gluey as those written in some romance novels, but if the parents object, they will form a "rebellious" mentality: "If you want to say that, I will do that." A famous golfer once said: "The game of golf is not played with the hands, but with the mouth." In some conversations that affect emotions, the most effective means is to pretend to be very friendly on the surface, and to put forward some so-called "advice", that is, to find ways to make the other party aware of the prohibited items.For example, on the golf course, deliberately ask your opponent gently: "If the shot ball flies to the right halfway, it will fall into the pond" or "This ball is so close to the hole, don't miss it!" After listening to these "good words", the ball that was hit was unbelievably either flying to the right, or hitting it crookedly. Before a game, an experienced coach never tells this athlete to do this, and warns another athlete not to do that, because doing so will only backfire. There is a kind of magazine in the United States that introduces how to buy clothes at the cheapest price.The magazine wrote: When you see the clothes you like in the store, don’t make a fuss, let alone let the clerk guess which one you like. Instead, you should patiently discuss the advantages and disadvantages of other clothes with the clerk and try them on repeatedly.Wait until the clerk gets tired and doesn't know if the customer really wants to buy it, then take out the one you like, and say to the unhappy clerk: "I want to buy this, but how much are you willing to reduce before selling it?" ?” This is a great way to do it. In a store that usually does not reduce prices, if you encounter such a customer who spends a long time choosing products, and the clerk spends a lot of energy on receiving him for a long time, in the eyes of the store, this customer will leave without buying anything. Go, as if the store suffered a great loss.Due to the strong desire to sell, it will easily agree to your asking price. The psychological tactics of weakening the opponent's combat ability by first getting the opponent to the point of discouragement are often used in various aspects.For example, a wife who wants her husband to buy her jewelry, or a child who asks her mother for pocket money to buy things, will use this type of tactics to launch an offensive, consciously or unconsciously.It must have been the husband who said to the wife or mother to the child in the first place: "Why do you want that thing, can't you get a cheaper one?" In order to reject the other party's request, you will definitely put up a set of theories to try to persuade the other party to give up the original request.If the other party refuses to agree and quarrels with you every two days or five days, you will say casually under the domination of fear of trouble: "Okay! If you like it, I will buy it for you." When negotiating with others, people who are patient and can insist on their own opinions generally win the final victory.Although this method is very simple and primitive, if you insist on this tactic, the opponent will eventually be shaken psychologically. Psychological wavering will lead to restlessness, and restlessness will reduce reason and judgment, thus making concessions. It can be seen that this kind of psychological warfare is quite powerful. Generally speaking, when the opponent is in a superior position than yourself, you will feel that you lack effective means to attack the opponent.At this time, using the above tactics can often achieve miraculous results.Dealing patiently with the other party actually has two meanings, one is to annoy the other party, and the other is to build a relationship with the other party, thereby shaking the other party's ability to judge objective things. If you think about it from a human psychological point of view, it is natural that a speech is hindered by a little voice.Because the sound is made suddenly or intermittently, it is difficult for people to concentrate.Small animals in the forest often prick up their ears to hear any special sounds nearby, which is a natural reaction to protect themselves.Interrupting speech is like a small animal in the forest, when it hears an unusual sound, it thinks the enemy is coming, so it wants to run away.In this way, when encountering such a situation, people's consciousness cannot be concentrated and their minds are distracted. Not to mention the listener, even the speaker is disturbed, and the speaker's train of thought is often interrupted at this time. Therefore, some people use the sound of things to disturb other people's thinking. This method is often used to deal with people who talk too much.The sound of a coin falling on the floor diverts the attention of the audience, and it also affects those who are speaking. There is a lot to say, but it is interrupted in a split second.At this time, the host will seize the opportunity to say: "Okay, let's discuss another matter now." thereby diverting the topic.In the meeting, for a competitor who is good at talking, when he speaks to a paragraph, he claps his hands and says: "Well said." Interrupt him first, then follow up with "But my opinion is that..." This will subtly interrupt the other party's words. A Japanese song called "Knowledgeful Crime" sang about a civil servant who drank several drinks in a row, and fell asleep lying on the platform of the train station.Knowing that drinking alcohol is not good for your health, but still drinking it is really "knowingly committing crimes". Although we will not drink like this gentleman and collapse on the platform, we often "knowingly commit crimes"; responsibility.If others do not understand this mood and attack from the front, it will be detrimental to both parties. If you want the other party to change their shortcomings, you should consider the common psychology of human beings. If you just blame him indiscriminately, there will be no good results.I often hear superiors say: "What do you mean? You are casual in the company. Do you understand the rules? Think about it for yourself!" This will only cause side effects. If you say: "You must feel deeply guilty about being late all the time." This kind of respect for people will convince the subordinates to get rid of the problem of being late.Everyone has the psychology of wanting others to value him. If his self-esteem is hurt, even talking a lot is useless.On the contrary, it is more effective to make the other party feel valued first, and then to make your own request, rather than using a threatening tone. In American movies, we often see gangsters making various vicious gestures towards blackmail targets.This is a method of using the atmosphere of terror to force the opponent to submit, this is the most primitive means of violence for human beings. People are generally disgusted and contemptuous of violence, but once they encounter such a scene, they are at a loss.In situations where reason and emotion are in turmoil, it is often the force of threat that is most powerful.Western politicians and entrepreneurs are very good at this kind of "knocking mountains and shaking tigers", the most famous of which is Khrushchev.When he and Kennedy negotiated alone to a critical juncture, he picked up the knife on the table and thrust it into the table vigorously.Kennedy, of course, would have dismissed such hyperbole. The general public has little experience with rough style and does not take advantage of it. The common response is submissive or irrepressible.We believe that the best response is to fight fire with fire in a calm manner. There are still many ways to "knock the mountain and shake the tiger", such as tearing up the contract when the negotiation cannot be carried out.Some people deliberately perform threats to unrelated third parties, and then make the final decision with the opponent.The opponent has just seen a powerful scene, and his attitude can't help softening, so that the opponent can achieve his goal. When the police ask for a statement, they always cooperate with a few tough guys and a few soft guys to shake the suspect's psychological balance, and then hand him a cigarette to trap him in a seductively designed trap.Contemporary diplomats are generally adept at this technique, confronting each other during negotiations, and making friendly homework during breaks.Former U.S. President Carter recorded in his memoirs: "Brezhnev and I had a heated argument over a certain issue. Then when it was time for a break, Brezhnev leaned softly on me and said that he He is sick and weak, and he said a lot of humane things." Put on an air of eliciting sympathy from Carter. Intimidation and gentleness are used interchangeably, which can bring about great changes in the mentality of ordinary people, which are quite stable emotions.Under threats, they will become shaken and vulnerable, and after a while of sweet talk, it is easy to fall into the trap unconsciously.To perform both soft and hard techniques, one must master this state of psychological change. Some people trust fortune tellers and think they are always accurate.In fact, it is not difficult to understand if they carefully scrutinize their words. The so-called fortune-telling is just that they are good at using some ambiguous and ambiguous words.For example, when a fortune teller looked at the picture, he said: "You have a female disaster." Most men would be shocked when they heard this.Some people think, I fooled around outside last night, does this Mr. Tiekou already know?Some people may also think that I have to hand over my salary in full every month. Could it be that the fortune teller has seen that I am a "strict wife"... In this way, the person who is being watched has been thinking about the female disaster in his heart, as if the fortune teller What Mr. said was accurate.If Mr. Physiognomy said: "You have a relationship with water." Then the people from the water company, the popsicle seller on the roadside, the crew, etc. would all be shocked and think what he said was right; Some people think that their youngest son is a swimmer...something about water must have crossed their minds in an instant.The trick of fortune-telling is to provide some vague information, let the other party find their own experience, and make the vague information concrete.If a person gets some kind of very vague information, he will speculate from all aspects of himself and think more and more, thus becoming suspicious.Therefore, if you want to shake the opponent's mind and provide some ambiguous information, it is easy to make him fall into a psychological imbalance. Mahjong is a very popular game. From the behavior of daily life, of course, it is impossible to know the level of people's Mahjong skills.But anyone who plays mahjong knows that a person's nature can be roughly observed in playing cards. It can often be seen that some people lose at the beginning, but do not change their tactics, and blindly stick to a certain style of play, which seems to be driven by emotion, and the result is even worse. This situation is called incapacity phenomenon in psychology.When a person cannot achieve his desire, he will feel frustrated. At this time, he seems to have become a child, acting very stubborn and aggressive.This is also the case with children's education.Let a group of children do two sets of easy and difficult test questions one after another, and then criticize the difficult test results face to face, and the children become listless.This experiment can be interpreted as that people will become depressed after being scolded, resulting in frustration, thus reducing intelligence. Some people use this psychological characteristic of people to seek the stability of their own status.Some bosses are afraid that their capable subordinates will one day take their place, so they try to crack down on them.One of the basic strategies they adopt is to give such subordinates some small and mundane jobs, that is, overqualified and underutilized. In this way, the subordinates have a sense of frustration, thinking that they have underestimated themselves, and they are already depressed before they start working. It is also difficult to do well.If this happens one after another, the subordinate will be even more passive, not only not showing his talents, but also reducing his ability to work. People who are excluded by their superiors and underappreciated can be said to be victims of "disability stimulation".On the contrary, the persevering people will not change their ambitions even if they are subjected to such cunning and despicable calculations, but instead increase their talents and knowledge. In order to deepen people's impression of themselves, politicians often attribute their political opinions to some slogans and publicize them in a big way, so as to achieve twice the result with half the effort.In daily life, when competitors find that directly attacking each other's weaknesses is not very effective, they often resort to the so-called psychological detour attack.For example, in a certain unit, there are two directors, Liu and Zhao, who compete fiercely for promotion.Director Liu is more approachable, while Director Zhao is stern and unselfish.Therefore, Director Liu secretly gave Director Zhao the nickname "Director of the Underworld", and spread it quietly, and deliberately exaggerated his human touch and bodhisattva heart.This propaganda tactic created a sharp contrast between the "King of Hades" and the "Bodhisattva", and as a result, Director Liu won the hearts of the people. The core of nickname psychological tactics is to exaggerate a certain weakness of the opponent as much as possible, creating the illusion that it is the same for him as a whole.We often see that among the student groups, nicknames such as "sycophants" will overwhelm a certain student, while some "King" and "King Kong" students are clearly in the leadership position.The trick to using nicknames effectively is to exaggerate the contrast. For example, if someone wants to emphasize his youth and promise, the effect will be multiplied by the presence of an elderly and infirm person. When the boss of a certain company is talking to someone, if he feels bored, he picks up the newspaper on the table and flips through it casually, suggesting to the other party: Although the newspaper is boring, it is always more interesting than your words.This practice has caused many guests to resign with interest. If you were to play a role in the above situation, what action would you take?If the other party is talking enthusiastically, it is rude for you to be impatient or indifferent; but when you chime in with a sentence or two, the other party will be more enthusiastic.So what do you do when you don't want to listen anymore? The traditional way in China is that the host will bring tea to persuade him to drink or look at his watch from time to time. Most of the guests will leave when they see this gesture.However, there are also a small number of people who deliberately turn a blind eye and have to finish talking endlessly.You can use some obvious gestures at this time, such as deliberately going to the toilet, nervously shaking your thighs, or standing up as if you suddenly remembered something to make a phone call.In this way, no matter how vigorous the lobbyist is, it is usually difficult to continue talking. However, the above approach is not much different from the boss who picked up the newspaper.There is a very taboo artistic suggestion method that expresses attitude no different from ordinary listening: the eyes deliberately do not look at the other person, but look somewhere beside them.In theory, it is polite to look into the other person's eyes when listening to a speech. Only through binocular communication can the feelings of both parties be communicated.When your eyes avoid his line of sight, this kind of communication will be interrupted, and the speaker’s psychology will be shaken because of this. Not only will he not continue speaking enthusiastically, but he will also pay attention to the actions of the listener. After a few words of agreement, the other party will feel even more boring, and will automatically close the chatterbox. Reading the newspaper, looking at the watch, and looking away from the other person during a conversation are all signs of a desire to stop the conversation.In fact, the expression of some natural and true attitudes that people in different groups have conventionally used is also very effective. Tetsuji Kawakami, the Giants coach of Japan's nine consecutive championships in professional baseball, wanted to retire when he was in his prime. The founder of the Yomiuri Shimbun News Agency, Masori Matsuta, persuaded him to go to Shoyan Temple to "zen in meditation". Hate baseball." Zen Master Kajiura went on to talk about that Japan has had traditional arts and sports such as flower arrangement, tea ceremony, judo, and kendo since ancient times. In exchange, you must create baseball lanes. Mr. Kawakami was shocked when he heard the words, and decided not to retire, but respected Kajiura as his lifelong teacher.The key to this Zen master's overwhelming baseball coach lies in the sentence "I hate baseball the most", that is to say, he denied the existence of Kawakami from the beginning.If someone meets you and says, "I hate you the most." What kind of mood will you be in? Ordinary people will be startled by this unexpected preemptive attack, and have a strong sense of oppression, and they must be concerned about why the other party said so, so they pay special attention to the next words, so they fall into the psychological trap set by the other party middle. Smart salesmen are also very good at using this kind of psychological tactics to attack customers' psychological weaknesses.When a general salesman sees the housewife who opens the door, he bends over and shows a smiling face, while a master salesman waits for the housewife to come out and cuts straight to the point: "I'm not a salesman, but..." First let the housewife feel extra unexpected and surprised, and then use various sales techniques to successfully achieve the goal. Once when Mr. Duohuhui was renovating his house, the leading carpenter saw him and said, "The house like yours is not bad. It is impossible to build such a house now. It would be a pity to demolish it." Maybe he did it out of intention or flattery, but the straight-to-the-point statement of "it's a pity" strongly affected Mr. Duohuhui's psychology and made him have a lot of trust in this carpenter. A certain sports star failed a lot in a game. The public opinion condemned the star, and the reporters also criticized him with angry faces.The star blurted out: "Don't get too excited!" The reporter was very angry. Hearing what the star said, he felt that things had changed subtly. The hopeful reporters also felt embarrassed to condemn the sports star desperately. at a loss. To grasp the other party's emotional actions, suddenly say something that has nothing to do with the topic, and the other party will be at a loss, so they will take a step back from the core issue to reflect and make an objective judgment. Let them understand that it is ridiculous to look desperate, reflect on themselves temporarily, and stop singing the opposite tune.At this time, their sharpness will be restrained, and then they will use means to subdue them. Therefore, giving the other party a fierce counterattack can make him return to the thinking of self-reflection, the atmosphere will change immediately, the initiative is in his own hands, and the protagonist of the discussion will become you.As long as you point out the error, the opponent's attack power will be weakened.